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Gil  Blas  axd  the  Actons. 


p.  172. 


Li^mti  ttiajn  .'  ^J2.<f^J^ 


THE 


ADVENTURES 


GIL     B   L  A   S 


SANTILLANE. 


TRANSLATED   FROM   THE   FRENCH   OF   LESAGE, 

By  TOBIAS  SMOLLETT. 


%  Pew  (^ditiott,  *arefttUjj  %tv\H&y  witfc  inutftatiott;?. 


PHILADELPHIA : 

PORTER   &   COATES, 


MEMOIK  OF  THE  AUTHOR 


The  French  have  nothing  in  their  language  comparable  to  Gil 
Bias ;  but  the  memory  of  the  author  has  been  consigned  to  a  very 
few  scanty  notices. 

Alain  Rene  Le  Sage  was  born,  according  to  one  of  his  bio- 
graphers, in  1677,  at  Ruys,  in  Brittany ;  or  according  to  another,  in 
1668,  at  Vannes.  At  the  age  of  twenty-five  he  came  to  Paris,  with 
a  view  to  study  philosophy.  He  made  himself  first  known  by  a 
paraphrastic  translation  of  the  Letters  of  Aristenetus.  He  then 
travelled  through  Spain,  and  applied  to  the  study  of  the  Spanish 
language,  customs  and  writers;  from  whom  he  adopted  plots  and 
fables,  and  transfused  them  into  his  native  tongue  with  great  facil- 
ity and  success.  His  works  of  this  kind  are,  Guzman  de  Alfarache ; 
the  Bachelor  of  Salamanca;  Gil  Bias;  New  Adventures  of  Don 
Quixote,  originally  written  by  Avellaneda;  the  Devil  on  Two 
Sticks;  and  some  others  of  less  note.  Of  the  Devil  on  Two  Sticks, 
we  are  told  that  the  first  edition  had  amazing  success,  and  the  second 
sold  with  still  greater  rapidity.  Two  noblemen,  coming  to  the  book- 
seller's, found  only  one  single  copy  remaining,  which  each  was  for 
purchasing ;  and  the  dispute  grew  so  warm  that  they  were  going 
to  decide  it  by  the  sword,  had  not  the  bookseller  interposed. 

He  was  also  distinguished  for  some  dramatic  pieces,  of  which 
Crispin  and  Turcaret,  both  comedies,  were  the  most  successful,  and 
allowed  to  fall  very  little  short  of  the  genius  of  Moli^re.  He  com- 
posed also  many  pieces  for  the  comic  opera. 

It  was  his  custom  to  read  his  plays  in  certain  fashionable  circles, 
before  they  were  publicly  represented.  On  one  of  these  occasions, 
when  engaged  to  read  a  piece  at  the  Duchess  de  Bouillon's,  an 

(iii) 


iv  MEMOIR  OF  THE  A  VTHOR. 

unexpected  affair  detained  him  till  a  considerable  time  after  the 
appointed  hour.  The  duchess,  on  his  entrance,  pleasantly  reproached 
him  for  having  made  the  company  lose  two  hours  in  waiting  for 
him.  "  If  I  have  made  them  lose  them,"  said  Le  Sage,  "  nothing 
can  be  more  easy  than  to  recover  them.  I  will  not  read  my  play ;" 
and  immediately  took  his  leave ;  nor  could  any  invitation  induce 
him  to  visit  the  duchess  a  second  time. 

He  had  several  children,  the  eldest  of  whom  was  long  a  distin- 
guished actor  on  the  French  stage,  under  the  name  of  Montmenil ; 
and  was  a  man  of  irreproachable  character.  He  died  suddenly 
while  partaking  of  the  pleasures  of  the  chase,  Sept.  8,  1743. 

His  death  was  a  severe  loss  to  his  father,  who  was  now  grown  old, 
and  had  been  poorly  rewarded  by  the  age  which  he  contributed  so 
often  to  entertain.  He  was  likewise  at  this  time  very  deaf,  and 
obliged  to  have  recourse  to  an  ear-trumpet.  This  infirmity  depriv- 
ing Le  Sage  of  the  most  rational  pleasures  of  society,  he  retired  to 
Boulogne-sur-mer,  in  the  cathedral  of  which  one  of  his  sons  held  a 
canonry ;  and  although  of  an  advanced  age,  he  left  the  metropolis 
of  taste,  literature  and  gayety  with  considerable  regret.  He  did  not 
enjoy  his  retirement  long,  being  cut  off  by  a  severe  illness,  Nov.  17, 
1747,  in  his  eightieth  year.  He  was  interred  at  Boulogne,  with  the 
following  epitaph : 

Sous  ce'tombeau  git  Le  Sage,  abattu 
Par  le  ciseau  de  la  Parque  importune : 
S'il  ne  fut  pas  ami  de  la  Fortune, 
n  fut  toujours  ami  de  la  Vertu. 

His  character  is  said  to  have  been  truly  amiable:  he  was  free 
from  ambition,  and  courted  fortune  no  farther  than  was  necessary 
to  enjoy  the  pleasures  and  quiet  of  a  literary  life. 

Of  all  his  works,  that  now  presented  to  the  reader  is  by  far  the 
most  popular,  and  deservedly  ranks  very  high  among  the  productions 
of  historical  fancy.  It  has  been,  we  believe,  translated  into  every 
European  language,  and  received  in  all  nations  as  a  faithful  portrait 
of  human  nature.  Few  books  have  been  so  frequently  quoted,  as 
affording  happy  illustrations  of  general  manners,  and  of  the  com- 
mon caprices  and  infirmities  incident  to  man.  "  Le  Sage,"  says  Dr. 
Moore,  "  proves  himself  to  have  been  intimately  acquainted  with 
human  nature." 


THE  AUTHOR'S  DECLARATION. 


There  are  some  people  in  the  world  so  mischievous  as  not  to 
read  a  work  without  applying  the  vicious  or  ridiculous  characters 
it  may  happen  to  contain  to  eminent  or  popular  individuals. 
I  protest  publicly  against  the  pretended  discovery  of  any  such 
liknesses.  My  purpose  was  to  represent  human  life  historically  as 
it  exists.  God  forbid  that  I  should  hold  myself  out  as  a  portrait- 
painter.  Let  not  the  reader,  then,  take  to  himself  public  property, 
for  if  he  does,  he  may  chance  to  throw  an  unlucky  light  on  his 
Own  character :  as  Phsedrus  expresses  it,  Stult^  nudabit  animi  con- 
scientiam. 

Certain  physicians  of  Castille,  as  well  as  of  France,  are  some- 
times a  little  too  fond  of  trying  the  bleeding  and  lowering  system 
on  their  patients.  Vices,  their  patrons,  and  their  dupes,  are  of 
every  day's  occurrence.  To  be  sure,  I  have  not  always  adopted 
Spanish  manners  with  scrupulous  exactness ;  and  in  the  instance 
of  the  players  at  Madrid,  those  who  know  their  disorderly  modes  of 
living  may  reproach  me  with  softening  down  their  coarser  traits ; 
but  this  I  have  been  induced  to  do  from  a  sense  of  delicacy,  and  in 
conformity  with  the  manners  of  my  own  country. 


(▼) 


GIL  BLAS  TO  THE  READER 


Reader  1  hark  you,  my  friend  I  Do  not  begin  the  story  of  my 
life  till  I  have  told  you  a  short  tale. 

Two  students  travelled  together  from  Penafiel  to  Salamanca. 
Finding  themselves  tired  and  thirsty,  they  stopped  by  the  side  of  a 
spring  on  the  road.  While  they  were  resting  there  after  having 
quenched  their  thirst,  by  chance  they  espied  on  a  stone  near  them, 
even  with  the  ground,  part  of  an  inscription,  in  some  degree  effaced 
by  time,  and  by  the  tread  of  flocks  in  the  habit  of  watering  al  that 
spring.  Having  washed  the  stone,  they  were  able  to  trace  these 
words  in  the  dialect  of  Castille  :  Aqui  estd  encerrada  el  alma  del  licen- 
ciado  Pedro  Garcias.  "  Here  lies  interred  the  soul  of  the  licentiate 
Peter  Garcias." 

"  Hey-day  !"  roars  out  the  younger,  a  lively,  heedless  fellow,  who 
could  not  get  on  with  his  deciphering  for  laughter:  "  This  is  a  good 
joke  indeed :  *  Here  lies  interred  the  soul.'  ...  A  soul  interred  I 
...  I  should  like  to  know  the  whimsical  author  of  this  ludicrous 
epitaph."  With  this  sneer  he  got  up  to  go  away.  His  companion, 
who  had  more  sense,  said  within  himself:  "  Underneath  this  stone 
lies  some  mystery ;  I  will  stay  and  see  the  end  of  it.  Accordingly, 
he  let  his  comrade  depart,  and  without  loss  of  time  began  digging 
round  about  the  stone  with  his  knife  till  he  got  it  up.  Under  it  he 
found  a  purse  of  leather,  containing  a  hundred  ducats,  with  a  card 
on  which  were  written  these  words  in  Latin :  "  Whoever  thou  art 
who  hast  wit  enough  to  discover  the  meaning  of  the  inscription,  I 
appoint  thee  my  heir,  in  the  hope  thou  wilt  make  a  better  use  of  my 
fortune  than  I  have  done !"  The  student,  out  of  his  wits  at  the 
discovery,  replaced  the  stone  in  its  former  position,  and  set  out 

(vii) 


VMl 


GIL  BLAS  TO  THE  READER. 


again  on  the  Salamanca  road  with  the  soul  of  the  licentiate  in  his 
pocket. 

Now,  my  goou  friend  and  reader,  no  matter  who  you  are,  you 
must  be  like  one  or  the  other  of  these  two  students.  If  you  cast 
your  eye  over  my  adventures  without  fixing  it  on  the  moral  con- 
cealed under  them,  you  will  derive  very  little  benefit  from  the 
perusal :  but  if  you  read  with  attention  you  will  find  that  mixture 
of  the  useful  with  the  a^eeable,  so  successfully  prescribed  by 
Horace. 


COITTE^TS. 


BOOK  I. 


PAOK 

Chap.   1.— The  birth  and  education  of  Gil  Bias, 17 

Chap.    2. — Gil  Bias'  alarm  on  his  road  to  Pegnaflor ;  his  adventures 

on  his  arrival  in  that  town ;  and  the  character  of  the 

men  with  whom  he  supped, 19 

Chap.    3. — The  muleteer's  temptation  on  the  road ;  its  consequences, 

and  the  situation  of  Gil  Bias  between  Scylla  and  Cha- 

rybdis, 25 

Chap.    4. — Description  of  the  subterraneous  dwelling  and  its  contents,  .    28 
Chap.    5. — Arrival  of  the  banditti  in  the  subterraneous  retreat,  with 

an  account  of  their  pleasant  convei-sation,  .  .  .30 
Chap.  6. — The  attempt  of  Gil  Bias  to  escape,  and  its  success,  .  .  35 
Chap.    7.— Gil  Bias,  not  being  able  to  do  what  he  likes,  does  what  he 

can, .38 

Chap.    8. — Gil  Bias  goes  out  with  the  gang,  and  performs  an  exploit 

on  the  highway, 39 

Chap.    9. — A  more  serious  incident, 42 

Chap.  10. — The  lady's  treatment  from  the  robbers.    The  result  of  the 

great  design  conceived  by  Gil  Bias, 43 

Chap.  11. — The  history  of  Donna  Mencia  de  Mosquera,  .        .        .48 

Chap.  12. — A  disagreeable  interruption, 53 

Chap.  13. — The  lucky  means  by  which  Gil  Bias  escaped  from  prison, 

and  his  travels  afterwards, 56 

Chap.  14. — Donna  Mencia's  reception  of  him  at  Burgos,        .        .        .59 
Chap.  15. — Gil  Bias  dresses  himself  to  more  advantage,  and  receives  a 

second  present  from  the  lady.    His  equipage  on  setting 

out  from  Burgos, 

Chap.  16.— Showing  that  prosperity  will  slip  through  a  man's  fingers,  .    65 
Chap.  17.— The  measures  Gil  Bias  took  after  the  adventure  of  the 

ready-furnished  lodging, 70 


62 


BOOK    11. 

Chap.  1.— Fabricio  introduces  Gil  Bias  to  the  Licentiate  S^dillo,  and 
procures  him  a  reception.  The  domestic  economy  of  that 
clergyman.    Picture  of  his  houHekeejjer,    .        .        •        '77 

(ix) 


X  CONTENTS. 

PAGK 

Chap.  2. — The  canon's  illness;  his  treatment;  the  consequence;  the 

legacy  to  Gil  Bias, 81 

Chap,  3. — Gil  Bias  enters  into  Doctor  Sangrado's  service,  and  becomes 

a  famous  practitioner, 85 

Chap.  4. — Gil  Bias  goes  on  practicing  physic  with  equal  success  and 

ability.    Adventure  of  the  recovered  ring,  ...        .90 

Chap.  5. — Sequel  of  the  foregoing  adventure.    Gil  Bias  retires  from 

practice,  and  from  the  neighborhood  of  Valladolid,    .        .    97 

Chap.  6. — His  route  from  Valladolid,  with  a  description  of  his  fellow- 
traveller,        102 

Chap.  7. — The  journeyman  barber's  story, 104 

Chap.  8. — The  meeting  of  Gil  Bias  and  his  companion  with  a  man 
soaking  crusts  of  bread  at  a  spring,  and  the  particulars 
of  their  conversation, 121 

Chap.  9. — The  meeting  of  Diego  with  his  family ;  their  circumstances 
in  life;  great  rejoicings  on  the  occasion;  the  parting 
scene  between  him  and  Gil  Bias, 124 


BOOK    III. 

Chap.    1.— The  arrival  of  Gil  Bias  at  Madrid.    His  first  place  there,    .  129 
Chap.    2.— The  astonishment  of  Gil  Bias  at  meeting  Captain  Rolando 

in  Madrid,  and  that  robber's  curious  narrative,  .        .        .  134 
Chap.    3.— Gil  Bias  is  dismissed  by  Don  Bernard  de  Castil  Blazo,  and 

enters  into  the  service  of  a  beau, 138 

Chap.    4. — Gil  Bias  gets  into  company  with  his  fellows;  they  show 

him  a  ready  road  to  the  reputation  of  wit,  and  impose 

on  him  a  singular  oath, 145 

Chap.    5. — Gil  Bias  becomes  a  darling  of  the  fair  sex,  and  makes  an 

interesting  acquaintance, 150 

Chap.    6. — The  prince's  company  of  comedians, 156 

Chap.    7.— History  of  Don  Pompeyo  de  Castro, 160 

Chap.    8. — An  accident,  in  consequence  of  which  Gil  Bias  was  obliged 

to  look  out  for  another  place, 165 

Chap.    9. — A  new  service  after  the  death  of  Don  Matthias  de  Silva,    .  169 

Chap.  10. — Much  such  another  as  the  foregoing, 172 

Chap.  11.— A  theatrical  life  and  an  author's  life, 175 

Chap.  12. — Gil  Bias  acquires  a  relish  for  the  theatre,  and  takes  a  full 

swing  of  its  pleasures,  but  soon  becomes  disgusted,  .        .178 


BOOK   IV. 

Chap.  l. — Gil  Bias,  not  being  able  to  reconcile  himself  to  the  morals 
of  the  actresses,  quits  Arsenia,  and  gets  into  a  more 
reputable  service, 182 

Chap.    2. — Aurora's  reception  of  Gil  Bias.    Their  conversation,         .  186 


CONTENTS.  XI 

PAGE 

Chap.    S. — A  great  change  at  Don  Vincent's.    Aur6ra's  strange  reso- 
lution,   189 

Chap.   4. — The  Fatal  Marriage :  a  Novel, 194 

Chap.    5. — The  behavior  of  Aurora  de  Guzman  on  her  arrival  at  Sala- 
manca,   217 

Chap.    6. — Aurora's  devices  to  secure  Don  Lewis  Pacheco's  affections,  225 
Chap.    7. — Gil  Bias  leaves  his  place  and  goes  into  the  service  of  Don 

Gonzales  Pacheco, 232 

Chap.    8. — The  Marchioness  of  Chaves ;  her  character  and  that  of  her 

company, 241 

Chap.    9. — An  incident  that  parted  Gil  Bias  and  the  Marchioness  of 

Chaves.  The  subsequent  destination  of  the  former,  .  246 
Chap.  10. — The  history  of  Don  Alphonso  and  the  fair  Seraphina,  .  249 
Chap.  11. — The  old  hermit  turns  out  an  extraordinary  genius,  and  Gil 

Blaa  finds  himself  among  his  former  acquaintance,  .       .  260 


BOOK  V. 

Chap,  l.— History  of  Don  Raphael, 266 

Chap.  2.— Don  Raphael's  consultation  with  his  company;  their  adven* 

tures  as  they  were  preparing  to  leave  the  wood,  .       .       .  324 


BOOK  VI. 

Chap.  1. — The  fate  of  Gil  Bias  and  his  companions  after  they  took 

leave  of  the  Count  de  Polan, 828 

Chap.  2.— The  determination  of  Don  Alphonso  and  Gil  Bias  after  this 

adventure, 336 

Chap.  3. — An  unfortunate  occurrence,  which  terminated  to  the  high 

delight  of  Don  Alphonso, 339 


BOOK    VII. 

Chap.    1.— The  tender  attachment  between  Gil  Bias  and  Dame  Lorenza 

Sephora, 342 

Chap.    2.— What  happened  to  Gil  Bias  after  his  retreat  from  the  Castle 

of  Leyva, 349 

Chap.  3. — Gil  Bias  becomes  the  archbishop's  favorite,  and  the  chan- 
nel of  all  his  favors, 355 

Chap.    4.— The  archbishop  is  struck  with  apoplexy.    How  Gil  Bias 

gets  into  a  dilemma,  and  how  he  gets  out,  ....  360 

Chap.  5. — The  course  which  Gil  Bias  took  after  leaving  the  arch- 
bishop.   His  accidental  meeting  with  the  licentiate,       .  363 


Zil  CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

Chap.  6.— Gil  Bias  goes  to  the  play  at  Granada.  His  surprise  at  see- 
ing one  of  the  actresses,  and  what  happened  thereupon,  .  366 

Chap.    7.— Laura's  story,  .        .        . 372 

Chap.  8. — Reception  of  Gil  Bias  among  the  players  at  Granada ;  an- 
other old  acquaintance  up  in  the  green-room,    .        .        .  383 

Chap.    9. — An  extraordinary  companion  at  supper ;  and  an  account  of 

their  conversation, 386 

Chap.  iO. — The  Marquis  de  Marialva  gives  a  commission  to  Gil  Bias. 

How  that  faithful  secretary  acquits  himself  of  it,      .        .  389 

Chap.  11.— A  thunderbolt  to  Gil  Bias, 392 

Chap.  12. — Gil  Bias  takes  lodgings  in  a  ready-furnished  house.     He 

gets  acquainted  with  Captain  Chinchilla,  ....  394 

Chap.  13. — Gil  Bias  comes  acrass  his  dear  friend  Fabricio  at  court. 

Great  ecstasy  on  both  sides, 401 

Chap.  14. — Fabricio  finds  a  situation  for  Gil  Bias  in  the  establishment 

of  Count  Galiano,  a  Sicilian  nobleman,      ....  409 

Chap.  15. — The  employment  of  Gil  Bias  in  Don  Galiano's  household, .  412 

Chap.  16. — ^An  accident  happens  to  the  Count  de  Galiano's  monkey. 

The  illness  of  Gil  Bias,  and  its  consequences,    .        .        .  417 


BOOK   VIII. 


Chap. 

1. 

Chap. 

2. 

Chap. 

3. 

Chap. 

4. 

Chap. 

5. 

Chap. 

6. 

Chap. 

7. 

Chap. 

8. 

Chap. 

9. 

Chap. 

10. 

Chap. 

11, 

Chap. 

12. 

Chap.  13 


— Gil  Bias  scrapes  an  acquaintance  of  some  value.    Don  Va- 

lerio  de  Luna's  story, 423 

— Gil  Bias  is  introduced  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  who  admits 

him  among  the  number  of  his  secretaries,  ....  427 
— All  is  not  gold  that  glitters.    Some  uneasiness  resulting 

from  the  discovery  of  that  principle  in  philosophy,  .  .  431 
. — Gil  Bias  becomes  a  favorite  with  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  and 

the  confidant  of  an  important  secret, 434 

— The  joys,  the  honors  and  the  miseries  of  a  court  life,  in 

the  person  of  Gil  Bias, .  436 

— Gil  Bias  gives  the  Duke  of  Lerma  a  hint  of  his  condition. 

That  minister  deals  with  him  accordingly,  .  .  .  439 
. — A  good  use  made  of  the  fifteen  hundred  ducats.  First  intro- 
duction to  the  trade  of  office, 443 

. — History  of  Don  Roger  de  Rada, 445 

. — Gil  Bias  makes  a  large  fortune  in  a  short  time,  and  behaves 

like  other  wealthy  upstarts, 452 

. — The  morals  of  Gil  Bias  become  at  court  much  as  if  they 

had  never  been  at  all, 457 

. — The  Prince  of  Spain's  secret  visit,  and  present  to  Catalina,  463 
. — Catalina's  real  condition  a  worry  and  alarm  to  Gil  Bias. 

His  precautions  for  his  own  ease  and  quiet,  .  .  .  466 
— Gil  Bias  goes  on  personating  the  great  man.     He  hea«i 

news  of  his  family.    A  grand  quarrel  with  Fabricio,        .  469 


CONTENTS.  xiil 

BOOK   IX. 

PAGE 

Chap.    1. — Scipio's  scheme  of  marriage  for  Gil  Bias.     The  match,  a 

rich  goldsmith's  daughter,  .        .        .        .        .        .        .  473 

Chap.    2. — Gil  Bias  remembers  Don  Alphonso  de  Leyva,  and  renders 

him  a  service  from  motives  of  vanity,  .  i  .  .  476 
Chap.    3. — Preparations  for  the  marriage  of  Gil  Bias.    A  spoke  in  the 

wheel  of  Hymen, 478 

Chap.   4. — The  treatment  of  Gil  Bias  in  the  tower  of  Segovia.    The 

cause  of  his  imprisonment, 480 

Chap.    5. — His  reflections  before  he  weril  to  sleep  that  night,  and  the 

noise  that  waked  him,  .        .        .        .        .        .        ,  483 

Chap.    6. — History  of  Don  Gaston  de  Cogollos  and  Donna  Helena  de 

Galisteo, 485 

Chap.    7. — Scipio  finds  Gil  Bias  out  in  the  tower  of  Segovia,  and  brings 

him  a  budget  of  news, 497 

Chap.    8. — Scipio's  first  journey  to  Madrid;  its  object  and  success. 

Gil  Bias  falls  sick.    The  consequence  of  his  illness,  .  499 

Chap.    9. — Scipio's  second  journey  to   Madrid.     Gil  Bias  is  set  at 

liberty  on  certain  conditions, 502 

Chap.  10. — Their  doings  at  Madrid.    The  rencounter  of  Gil  Bias  in  the 

street,  and  its  consequences, 505 


BOOK    X. 

Chap.    1. — Gil  Bias  sets  out  for  the  Asturias,  and  passes  through  Valla- 

dolid.    He  goes  to  see  Doctor  Sangrado,     ....  508 

Chap.    2. — Gil  Bias  continues  his  journey,  and  arrives  at  Oviedo.    The 

condition  of  his  family.    His  father's  death,     .        .        .  515 

Chap.  3. — Gil  Bias  sets  out  for  Valencia,  and  arrives  at  Lirias;  de- 
scription of  his  seat;  particulars  of  his  reception,    .        .  522 

Chap.    4. — Journey  to  Valencia,  and  a  visit  to  the  lords  of  Leyva. 

Conversation  of  the  gentlemen, 527 

Chap.    5. — Gil  Bias  goes  to  the  play,  and  sees  a  new  tragedy.    Success 

of  the  piece.    The  public  taste  at  Valencia,      .        .        .  530 

Chap.    6. — Gil  Bias,  walking  about  the  streets  of  Valencia,  meets  with 

a  man  of  sanctity,  whom  he  thinks  he  knows,  .        .        .  534 

Chap.    7. — Gil  Bias  returns  to  his  seat  at  Lirias.    Scipio's  agreeable 

intelligence.    Reform  in  the  domestic  arrangements,        .  539 

Chap.    8.— The  loves  of  Gil  Bias  and  the  fair  A  ntonia,  .        .        .542 

Chap.    9. — Nuptials  of  Gil  Bias  with  the  fair  Antonia;  the  style  and 

manner  of  the  ceremony, 547 

Chap.  10. — The  honeymoon  (a  very  dull  time  for  the  reader)  enlivened 

by  the  commencement  of  Scipio's  story,     ....  552 

Chap.  11. — Continuation  of  Scipio's  story, 670 

Chap.  12. — Conclusion  of  Scipio's  story,  .  579 


^iv 


CONTENTS. 


BOOK   XL 


696 


599 


Chap.  1. — Containing  the  subject  of  the  greatest  joy  that  Gil  Bias 
ever  felt,  followed  by  the  most  melancholy  event  of  his 
life, 

Chap.  2. — Gil  Bias  arrives  in  Madrid.  He  appears  at  court.  The  king 
recommends  him  to  the  notice  of  his  prime  minister. 

Chap.    3. — The  project  of  retirement  is  prevented.    Joseph  Navarro 

brought  upon  the  stage  again, 603 

Chap.    4. — Gil  Bias  ingratiates  himself  with  the  Count  of  Olivarez,      .  605 

Chap.    5. — The  private  conversjftion  of  Gil  Bias  with  Navarro.     His 

first  employment  in  the  service  of  the  Count  d'Olivarez,  .  608 

Chap.    6. — The  application  of  the  three  hundred  pistoles,  and  Scipio's 

commission  connected  with  them, 613 

Chap.    7. — Gil  Bias  meets  with  his  friend  Fabricio  once  more.    The 

circumstances  described, 616 

Chap.  8. — Gil  Bias  progresses  in  his  master's  afiections.  Scijuo's  re- 
turn to  Madrid ;  an  account  of  his  journey. 

Chap.  9. — How  my  lord  duke  married  his  only  daughter,  and  to 
whom.    The  bitter  consequences  of  that  marriage,   . 

Chap.  10. — Gil  Bias  meets  with  the  poet  Nunez  by  accident,  and  learns 
that  he  has  written  a  tragedy, 

Chap.  11. — Santillane  gives  Scipio  a  situation ;  the  latter  sets  out  for 
New  Spain, 

Chap.  12. — Don  Alphonso  de  Leyva  comes  to  Madrid ;  the  motive  of 
his  journey  a  severe  affliction  to  Gil  Bias, 

Chap.  13. — Gil  Bias  meets  Don  Gaston  de  CogoUos  and  Don  Andrew  de 
Tordesillas  at  the  drawing-room, 

Chap.  14. — Santillane's  visit  to  Poet  Nunez ;  the  company  and  con- 
versation  


619 


621 


623 


627 


629 


632 


636 


BOOK   XII. 

Chap.    1. — Gil  Bias  sent  to  Toledo  by  the  minister.  The  purpose  of  his 

journey  and  its  success, 639 

Chap.  2. — Santillane  makes  his  report  to  the  minister,  who  commis- 
sions him  to  send  for  Lucretia, 644 

Chap.    3. — Lucretia's  popularity ;  her  appearance  before  the  king ;  his 

passion,  and  its  consequences, 646 

Chap.    4. — Santillane  in  a  new  office, 649 

Chap.  5. — The  son  of  the  Genoese  is  acknowledged  by  a  legal  instru- 
ment, and  named  Don  Henry  Philip  de  Guzman,      .        .  651 

Chap.    6. — Scipio's  return  from  New  Spain.    Gil  Bias  places  him  about 

Don  Henry's  person, 652 

Chap.    7. — An  accidental  meeting  between  Gil  Bias  and  Fabricio.  Their 

last  conversation  together, 655 


CONTENTS.  XV 

PAOK 

Chap.  8. — Gil  Bias  finds  that  Fabricio's  hint  was  not  without  founda- 
tion.   The  king's  journey  to  Saragossa,      .        .        .        .  657 

Chap.    9. — The  revolution  of   Portugal,  and  disgrace  of  the  prime 

minister, 668 

Chap.  10. — A  difiicult  but  successful  weaning  from  the  world.     The 

minister's  employments  in  his  retreat,        ....  660 

Chap.  11. — A  change  in  his  lordship  for  the  worse.    The  marvellous 

cause  and  melancholy  consequences  of  his  dejection,        .  G62 

Chap.  12. — Proceedings  at  the  castle  of  Loeches  after  his  lordship's 

death.     The  course  which  Santillane  adopted,  .        .  664 

Chap.  13. — The  return  of  Gil  Bias  to  his  seat.    His  joy  at  finding  his 

goddaughter  Seraphina  marriageable,        ....  666 

Chap.  14. — ^A  double  marriage.    Conclusion  of  the  history,  .       .       .  668 


ADVENTURES  OF 

GIL  BLAS  OF  SANTILLANE. 


BOOK  I. 


CHAPTER  I. 

THE  BIRTH  AND  EDUCATION  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

MY  father,  Blaa  of  Santillane,  after  having  borne  arms  for  a 
long  time  in  the  Spanish  service,  retired  to  his  native  place. 
There  he  married  a  chambermaid  who  was  not  exactly  in  her 
teens,  and  I  made  my  d^but  on  this  stage  ten  months  after  marriage. 
They  afterwards  went  to  live  at  Oviedo,  where  my  mother  got 
into  service,  and  my  father  obtained  a  situation  equally  adapted 
to  his  capacities  as  a  squire.  As  their  wages  were  their  fortune,  I 
might  have  got  my  education  as  I  could,  had  it  not  been  for  an 
uncle  of  mine  in  the  town,  a  canon,  by  name  Gil  Perez.  He  was 
my  mother's  eldest  brother,  and  my  godfather.  Figure  to  yourself 
a  little  fellow,  three  feet  and  a  half  high,  as  fat  as  you  can  conceive, 
with  a  head  sunk  deep  between  his  shoulders,  and  you  have  my 
uncle  to  the  life.  For  the  rest  of  his  qualities,  he  was  an  ecclesi- 
astic, and  of  course  thought  of  nothing  but  good  living, — I  mean  in 
the  flesh  as  well  as  in  the  spirit, — with  the  means  of  which  good 
living  his  stall,  no  mean  one,  provided  him. 

He  took  me  home  to  his  own  house  from  my  infancy,  and  ran  the 
risk  of  my  bringing  up.  I  struck  him  as  so  brisk  a  lad,  that  he 
resolved  to  cultivate  my  talents.  He  bought  me  a  primer,  and 
undertook  my  tuition  as  far  as  reading  went :  which  was  not  amiss 
for  himself  as  well  as  for  me,  since  by  teaching  me  my  letters  he 
brushed  up  his  own  learning,  which  had  not  been  pursued  in  a  very 
scholastic  manner ;  and,  by  dint  of  application,  he  got  at  last  to  read 
his  breviary  out  of  hand,  which  he  had  never  been  able  to  do  before. 
He  would  have  been  very  glad  to  have  taught  me  Latin,  to  save 
2  (17) 


18  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

expense ;  but,  alas !  poor  Gil  Perez  1  he  had  never  skimmed  the 
first  principles  of  it  in  the  whole  course  of  his  life.  I  should  not 
wonder  if  he  was  the  most  ignorant  member  of  the  chapter ;  though 
on  a  eubject  involving  as  many  possibilities  as  there  were  canons, 
I  presume  not  to  pledge  myself  for  anything  like  certainty.  To  be 
sure,  I  have  heard  it  suggested  that  he  did  not  gain  his  preferment 
altogether  by  his  learning,  but  that  he  owed  it  exclusively  to  the 
gratitude  of  some  good  nuns  whose  discreet  factor  he  had  been,  and 
who  had  credit  enough  to  procure  him  the  order  of  priesthood  with- 
out the  troublesome  ceremony  of  an  examination. 

He  was  obliged,  therefore,  to  place  me  under  the  correction  of  a 
master,  so  that  I  was  sent  to  Doctor  Godinez,  who  had  the  reputa- 
tion of  being  the  most  accomplished  pedant  of  Oviedo.  I  profited 
so  well  under  his  instructions,  that  by  the  end  of  five  or  six  years 
I  could  read  a  Greek  author  or  two,  and  had  no  very  inadequate 
conception  of  the  Latin  poets.  Besides  my  classical  studies,  I 
applied  to  logic,  which  enabled  me  to  become  an  expert  arguer.  I 
now  fell  in  love  with  discussions  of  all  kinds  to  such  an  excess,  that 
I  stopped  his  majesty's  subjects  on  the  high  road, — acquaintance  or 
strangers,  no  matter  1 — and  proposed  some  knotty  point  of  contro- 
versy. Sometimes  I  fell  in  with  a  clan  of  Irish,  and  an  altercation 
never  comes  amiss  to  them.  That  was  your  time,  if  you  were  fond 
of  a  battle.  Such  gestures  I  such  grimaces !  such  contortions  1  our 
eyes  sparkling  and  our  mouths  foaming !  Those  who  did  not  take 
us  for  what  we  affected  to  be,  philosophers,  must  have  set  us  down 
for  madmen. 

But  let  that  be  as  it  will,  I  gained  the  reputation  of  no  small 
learning  in  the  town.  My  uncle  was  delighted,  because  he  prudently 
considered  that  I  should  so  much  the  sooner  cease  to  be  chargeable 
to  him.  "  Come  here,  Gil  Bias,"  quoth  he  one  day,  "you  are  got  to  be 
a  fine  fellow.  You  are  past  seventeen,  and  a  clever  lad ;  you  must 
bestir  yourself,  and  get  forward  in  the  world.  I  think  of  sending 
you  to  the  University  of  Salamanca ;  with  your  wit,  you  will  easily 
get  a  good  post.  I  will  give  you  a  few  ducats  for  your  journey,  and 
my  mule,  which  will  fetch  ten  or  twelve  pistoles  at  Salamanca,  and 
with  such  a  sum  at  setting  out,  you  will  be  enabled  to  hold  up  your 
head  till  you  get  a  situation." 

He  could  not  have  proposed  to  me  anything  more  agreeable,  for 
I  was  dying  to  see  a  little  of  life.  At  the  same  time,  I  was  not  such 
a  fool  as  to  betray  my  satisfaction ;  and  when  it  came  to  the  hour  of 
parting,  by  the  sensibility  I  discovered  at  taking  leave  of  my  dear 
uncle,  to  whom  I  was  so  much  obliged,  and  by  calling  in  the  stage 
effect  of  grief,  I  so  softened  the  good  soul,  thsit  he  put  his  hand 
deeper  into  his  pocket  than  he  would  have  done  could  he  have 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  19 

pried  into  all  that  was  passing  in  the  interior  of  my  hypocritical 
little  heart.  Before  my  departure,  I  took  a  last  leave  of  my  papa 
and  mamma,  who  loaded  me  with  an  ample  inheritance  of  good 
advice.  They  enjoined  me  to  pray  to  God  for  my  uncle,  to  go 
honestly  through  the  world,  not  to  engage  in  any  ill,  and  above  all 
not  to  lay  my  hands  on  other  people's  property.  After  they  had 
lectured  me  for  a  good  while,  they  made  me  a  present  of  their  bless- 
ing, which  was  all  my  patrimony  and  all  my  expectation.  As  soon 
as  I  had  received  it,  I  mounted  my  mule,  and  saw  the  outside  of  the 
town. 


CHAPTER  11. 

OIL  BLAS'  ALARM  ON  HIS  KOAD  TO  PEGNAFLOR;  HIS  ADVENTURES  ON 
HIS  ARRIVAL  IN  THAT  TOWN,  AND  THE  CHARACTER  OF  THE  MEN 
WITH  WHOM  HE  SUPPED. 

HERE  I  am,  then,  on  the  other  side  of  Oviedo,  on  the  road  to 
Pegnaflor,  with  the  world  before  me,  as  yet  my  own  master, 
as  well  as  master  of  a  bad  mule  and  forty  good  ducats,  without 
reckoning  on  a  little  supplementary  cash  which  I  had  purloined  from 
my  much-honored  uncle.  The  first  thing  I  did  was  to  let  my  mule 
go  as  the  beast  liked,  that  is  to  say,  very  lazily.  I  dropped  the 
rein,  and  taking  out  my  ducats,  began  to  count  them  backward  and 
forward  in  my  hat  I  was  out  of  my  wits  for  joy,  never  having 
seen  such  a  sum  of  money  before,  and  could  not  help  looking  at  it 
and  sifting  it  through  my  fingers.  I  had  counted  it  over  about  the 
twentieth  time,  when  all  at  once  my  mule,  with  head  raised  and 
ears  pricked  up,  stood  stock  still  in  the  middle  of  the  high  road. 
I  thought  to  be  sure  something  was  the  matter ;  looked  about  for  a 
cause,  and  perceived  a  hat  upon  the  ground,  with  a  rosary  of  lai^e 
beads,  at  the  same  time  I  heard  a  lugubrious  voice  pronounce  these 
words :  "  Pray,  honored  master,  have  pity  on  a  poor  maimed  soldier  1 
Please  to  throw  a  few  small  pieces  into  this  hat ;  you  shall  be  re- 
warded for  it  in  the  other  world."  I  looked  immediately  on  the  side  ' 
whence  the  voice  proceeded,  and  saw  just  by  a  thicket,  twenty  or 
thirty  paces  from  me,  a  sort  of  a  soldier,  who  had  mounted  the 
barrel  of  a  confounded  long  carbine  on  two  cross  sticks,  and  seemed 
to  be  taking  aim  at  me.  At  a  sight  which  made  me  tremble  for  the 
patrimony  of  the  church  committed  to  my  care,  I  stopped  short, 
made  sure  of  my  ducats,  and  taking  out  a  little  small  change,  as  I 


20  ADVENTURES  OF  ChlL  BLAS. 

rode  by  the  hat,  placed  to  receive  the  charity  of  those  quiet  subjects 
who  had  not  the  courage  to  refuse  it,  dropped  in  my  contribution  in 
detail,  to  convince  the  soldier  how  nobly  I  dealt  by  him.  He  was 
satisfied  with  my  liberality,  and  gave  me  a  blessing  for  every  kick 
I  gave  my  mule  in  my  impatience  to  get  out  of  his  way ;  but  the 
infernal  beast,  without  partaking  in  the  slightest  degree  of  my  im- 
patience, went  at  the  old  steady  pace.  A  long  custom  of  jogging 
on  fair  and  softly  under  my  uncle's  weight  had  obliterated  every 
idea  of  that  motion  called  a  gallop. 

The  prospect  of  my  journey  was  not  much  improved  by  this  ad- 
venture as  a  specimen.  I  considered  within  myself  that  I  had  yet 
some  distance  to  Salamanca,  and  might  not  improbably  meet  with 
something  worse.  My  uncle  seemed  to  have  been  very  imprudent 
not  to  have  consigned  me  to  the  care  of  a  muleteer.  That,  to  be 
sure,  was  what  he  ought  to  have  done ;  but  his  notion  was,  that  by 
giving  me  his  mule  my  journey  would  be  cheaper ;  and  that  entered 
more  into  his  calculation  than  the  dangers  in  which  I  might  be 
involved  on  the  road.  To  retrieve  his  error,  therefore,  I  resolved, 
if  I  had  the  good  luck  to  arrive  safe  at  Pegnaflor,  to  offer  my  mule 
for  sale,  and  take  the  opportunity  of  a  muleteer  going  to  Astorga, 
whence  I  might  get  to  Salamanca  by  a  similar  conveyance.  Though 
I  had  never  been  out  of  Oviedo,  I  was  acquainted  with  the  names 
of  the  towns  through  which  I  was  to  pass— a  species  of  information 
I  took  care  to  procure  before  my  setting  out. 

I  got  safe  and  sound  to  Pegnaflor,  and  stopped  at  the  door  of  a 
very  decent-looking  inn.  My  foot  was  scarcely  out  of  the  stirrup 
Ijefore  the  landlord  was  at  my  side,  overwhelming  me  with  public- 
house  civility.  He  untied  my  cloak-bag  with  his  own  hands,  swung 
it  across  his  shoulders,  and  ushered  my  honor  into  a  room,  while 
one  of  his  men  led  my  mule  to  the  stable.  This  landlord,  the  most 
busy  prattler  of  the  Asturias,  ready  to  bother  you  impertinently 
about  his  own  concerns,  and  at  the  same  time  with  a  sufficient  por- 
tion of  curiosity  to  worm  himself  into  the  knowledge  of  yours,  was 
not  long  in  telling  me  that  his  name  was  Andrew  Corcuelo ;  that  he 
had  seen  some  service  as  a  sergeant  in  the  army,  which  he  had 
quitted  fifteen  months  ago,  and  married  a  girl  of  Castropol,  who, 
though  a  little  tawny  or  so,  knew  how  to  make  both  ends  meet  as 
well  as  the  best  of  them.  He  told  me  a  thousand  things  besides 
which  he  might  just  as  well  have  kept  private.  Thinking  himself 
entitled  after  this  voluntary  confidence  to  an  equal  share  of  mine, 
he  asked  me  in  a  breath,  and  without  further  preface,  whence  I 
came,  whither  I  was  going,  and  who  I  was.  To  all  this  I  felt  my- 
self bound  to  answer,  article  by  article,  because,  though  rather 
abrupt  in  asking  them,  he  accompanied  each  question  with  so 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAH.  21 

apologetic  a  bow,  beseeching  me  with  so  submissive  a  grimace  not 
to  be  offended  at  his  curiosity,  that  I  was  drawn  on  to  gratify  it, 
whether  I  would  or  no.  Thus  by  degrees  did  we  get  into  a  long 
conversation,  in  the  course  of  which  I  took  occasion  to  hint  that  I 
had  some  reasons  for  wishing  to  get  rid  of  my  mule,  and  travel 
under  convoy  of  a  muleteer.  He  seemed  on  the  whole  to  approve 
of  my  plan,  though  he  could  not  prevail  with  himself  to  tell  me  so 
briefly ;  for  he  introduced  his  remarks  by  descanting  on  all  the  pos- 
sible and  probable  mischances  to  which  travellers  are  liable  on  the 
road,  not  omitting  an  awkward  story  now  and  then.  I  thought  the 
fellow  would  never  have  done.  But  the  conclusion  of  the  argument 
was,  that  if  I  wanted  to  sell  my  mule,  he  knew  an  honest  jockey 
who  would  take  it  off  ray  hands.  I  begged  he  would  do  me  the 
favor  and  fetch  him,  which  was  no  sooner  said  than  done. 

On  his  return  he  introduced  the  purchaser,  with  a  high  encomium 
on  his  integrity.  We  all  three  went  into  the  yard,  and  the  mule 
was  brought  out  to  show  paces  before  the  jockey,  who  set  himself 
to  examine  the  beast  from  head  to  foot.  His  report  was  bad  enough. 
To  be  sure,  it  would  not  have  been  easy  to  make  a  good  one ;  but  if 
it  had  been  the  pope's  mule,  and  this  fellow  was  to  cheapen  the 
bargain,  it  would  have  been  just  the  same :  nay,  to  speak  with  all 
due  reverence,  if  he  had  been  asked  to  give  an  opinion  of  the  pope's 
great  toe,  from  that  disparaging  habit  of  his,  he  would  have  pro- 
nounced it  no  better  than  the  toe  of  any  ordinary  man.  He  laid  it 
down,  therefore,  as  a  principle  that  the  mule  had  all  the  defects  a 
mule  could  have,  appealing  to  the  landlord  for  a  confirmation  of 
his  judgment,  who  doubtless  had  reasons  of  his  own  for  not  contro- 
verting his  friend's  assertion.  "  Well !"  says  the  jockey,  with  an  air 
of  indifference,  "  what  price  have  you  the  conscience  to  ask  for  this 
devil  of  an  animal?"  After  such  a  panegyric,  and  master  Corcuelo's 
certificate,  whom  I  was  fool  enough  to  take  for  a  fair-dealing  man 
and  a  good  judge  of  horseflesh,  they  might  have  had  the  mule  for 
nothing.  I  therefore  told  the  dealer  that  I  threw  myself  on  his 
mercy :  he  must  fix  his  own  sum,  and  I  should  expect  no  more. 
On  this  he  began  to  affect  the  gentleman,  and  answered  that  I  had 
found  out  his  weak  side  when  I  had  left  it  to  his  honor.  He  was 
right  enough  in  that !  His  honor  was  his  weak  side ;  for  instead  of 
bidding  up  to  my  uncle's  estimate  of  ten  or  twelve  pistoles,  the 
rascal  had  the  impudence  to  offer  three  ducats,  which  I  accepted 
with  as  light  a  heart  as  if  I  had  got  the  best  of  the  bargain. 

Having  disencumbered  myself  of  my  mule  in  so  tradesmanlike  a 
manner,  I  went  with  my  landlord  to  a  carrier  who  was  to  set  out 
early  the  next  morning  for  Astorga,  and  engaged  to  call  me  up  in 
time.    When  we  had  settled  the  hire  of  the  mule,  as  well  as  the 


22  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

expenses  on  the  road,  I  turned  back  towards  the  inn  with  Corcuelo, 
who  as  M'e  went  along  got  into  the  private  history  of  this  muleteer. 
When  I  had  been  pestered  with  all  the  tittle-tattle  of  the  town  about 
this  fellow,  the  changes  were  just  beginning  to  ring  on  some  new 
subject ;  but,  by  good  luck,  a  pretty-looking  sort  of  a  man  very 
civilly  interrupted  my  loquacious  friend.  I  left  them  together,  and 
sauntered  on,  without  the  slightest  suspicion  of  being  at  all  con- 
cerned in  their  discourse. 

I  ordered  supper  as  soon  as  I  got  to  the  inn.  It  was  a  fish  day : 
but  I  thought  eggs  were  better  suited  to  my  finances.  While  they 
were  getting  ready,  I  joined  in  conversation  with  the  landlady, 
whom  I  had  not  seen  before.  She  seemed  a  pretty  enough  piece  of 
goods,  and  such  a  stirring  body,  that  I  should  have  concluded,  if 
her  husband  had  not  told  me  so,  her  tavern  must  have  plenty  of 
custom.  The  moment  the  omelet  was  served  up,  I  sat  down  to  the 
table  by  myself,  and  had  scarcely  got  the  relish  of  it,  when  my  land- 
lord walked  in,  followed  by  the  man  who  had  stopped  him  in  the 
street.  This  pleasant  gentleman  wore  a  long  rapier,  and  might,  per- 
haps, be  about  thirty  years  of  age.  He  came  up  to  me  in  the  most 
friendly  manner  possible.  "  Mr.  Professor,"  says  he,  "  I  have  just 
now  heard  that  you  are  the  renowned  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane,  that 
ornament  of  Oviedo  and  luminary  of  philosophy.  And  do  my  eyes 
behold  that  very  greatest  of  all  great  scholars  and  wits,  whose  repu- 
tation has  run  hither  so  fast  before  him  !  Little  do  you  think,"  con- 
tinues he,  directing  his  discourse  to  the  landlord  and  landlady,  "  little 
do  you  imagine,  I  say,  what  good  luck  has  befallen  you.  Why,  you 
have  got  hold  of  a  treasure.  In  this  young  gentleman  you  behold 
the  eighth  wonder  of  the  world."  Then  running  up  and  throwing 
his  arms  about  my  neck,  "  Excuse  me,"  added  he ;  "  but  worlds 
would  not  bribe  me  to  suppress  the  rapturous  emotions  your  honored 
presence  has  excited." 

I  could  not  answer  him  so  glibly  as  I  wished,  not  so  much  for 
want  of  words  as  of  breath  ;  for  he  hugged  me  so  tight  that  I  began 
to  be  alarmed  for  my  windpipe.  As  soon,  however,  as  I  had  got  my 
head  out  of  durance,  I  replied,  "  Signor  cavalier,  I  had  not  the  least 
conception  that  my  name  was  known  at  Pegnaflor."  "  Known  ?"  re- 
sumed he  in  the  same  pompous  style ;  "  we  keep  a  register  of  all  great 
persons  within  a  circuit  of  twenty  leagues  round  us.  You  have  the 
character  of  a  prodigy  here ;  and  I  have  not  a  shadow  of  doubt  but 
one  day  or  other  Spain  will  be  as  proud  of  numbering  you  among 
her  rare  productions  as  Greece  of  having  given  birth  to  her  seven 
wise  men."  This  fine  speech  was  followed  as  before ;  and  I  really 
began  to  think  that,  with  all  my  classical  honors,  I  should  at  last 
be  doomed  to  share  the  fate  of  Antaeus.    If  I  had  been  master  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  2S 

ever  so  little  experience,  I  should  not  have  been  the  dupe  of  his 
rhodomontade.  I  must  have  discovered  him,  by  his  outrageous 
compliments,  to  be  one  of  those  parasites  who  swarm  in  every  town, 
and  get  into  a  stranger's  company  on  his  arrival,  to  appease  the 
wolf  in  their  stomachs  at  his  expense ;  but  my  youth  and  vanity 
tempted  me  to  draw  a  quite  opposite  conclusion.  My  admirer  was 
very  clever  in  my  eyes,  and  I  asked  him  to  supper  on  the  strength 
of  it.  "  Oh !  most  willingly,"  cried  he :  "  with  all  my  heart  and 
soul.  My  fortunate  star  predominates,  now  that  I  have  the  honor 
of  being  in  company  with  the  illustrious  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane, 
and  I  shall  certainly  make  the  most  of  my  good  fortune  as  long  as 
it  lasts.  My  appetite  is  rather  delicate,  but  I  will  just  sit  down 
with  you  by  way  of  being  sociable,  and  if  I  can  swallow  a  bit! 
only  just  not  to  look  sulky ;  for  we  philosophers  are  careless  of  the 
body." 

These  words  were  no  sooner  out  of  his  mouth  than  my  panegyrist 
took  his  seat  opposite  to  me.  A  cover  was  laid  for  him  in  due  form 
and  order.  First  he  fell  on  the  omelet  with  as  much  perseverance 
as  if  he  had  not  tasted  food  for  three  whole  days.  By  the  compla- 
cency with  which  he  eyed  it,  I  was  morally  certain  the  poor  pancake 
was  at  death's  door.  I  therefore  ordered  its  heir  apparent  to  suo- 
ceed ;  and  the  business  was  despatched  with  such  speed,  that  the 
second  made  its  appearance  on  the  table  just  as  we — no — I  beg 
pardon— just  as  he  had  taken  the  last  lick  of  its  predecessor.  He 
pressed  forward  the  main  business,  however,  with  a  diligence  and 
activity  proportioned  to  the  importance  of  the  object  he  had  in 
view :  so  that  he  contrived  to  load  me  with  panegyric  on  pane- 
gyric, without  losing  a  single  stroke  in  the  progress  of  mastication. 
Now,  all  this  gave  me  no  slender  conceit  of  my  pretty  little  self. 
When  a  man  eats,  he  must  drink.  The  first  toast  of  course  was  my 
health.  The  second,  in  common  civility,  was  my  father  and  mother, 
whose  happiness  in  having  such  an  angel  of  a  son  he  could  not  suffi- 
ciently envy  or  admire.  All  this  while  he  kept  filling  my  glass,  and 
challenging  me  to  keep  pace  with  him.  It  was  impossible  to  be 
backward  in  doing  justice  to  such  excellent  toasts  and  sentiments : 
the  compliments  with  which  they  were  seasoned  did  not  come 
amiss ;  so  that  I  got  into  such  a  convivial  mood,  at  observing  our 
second  omelet  disappear  not  insensibly,  as  just  to  ask  the  landlord 
if  he  could  not  find  us  a  little  bit  of  fish.  Master  Corcuelo,  who  to 
all  appearances  played  booty  with  the  parasite,  told  me  he  had  an  ex- 
cellent trout ;  "  but  those  who  eat  him  must  pay  for  him.  I  am  afraid 
he  is  meat  for  your  masters."  "  Meat  for  our  masters  1"  exclaims  my 
very  humble  servant,  in  an  angry  tone  of  voice  ;  "that  is  more  than 
you  know,  my  friend.    Are  you  yet  to  learn  that  the  best  of  your 


24  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

larder  is  not  too  good  for  the  renowned  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane?    Go 
where  he  will,  he  is  fit  to  table  with  princes." 

I  was  very  glad  he  took  up  the  landlord's  last  expression,  because 
if  he  had  not,  I  should.  I  felt  myself  a  little  hurt  at  it,  and  said  to 
Corcuelo,  with  some  degree  of  hauteur:  "  Produce  this  trout  of  yours, 
and  I  will  take  the  consequences."  The  landlord,  who  had  got  just 
what  he  wanted,  set  himself  to  work,  and  served  it  up  in  high  order. 
At  the  first  glance  of  this  third  course,  I  saw  such  pleasure  spark- 
ling in  the  parasite's  eyes,  as  to  prove  him  to  be  of  a  very  comply- 
ing temper — just  as  ready  to  do  a  kindness  by  the  fish  as  by  those 
said  eggs  of  which  he  had  given  so  good  an  account.  But  at  last  he 
was  obliged  to  lay  down  his  arms,  for  fear  of  accidents,  as  his 
magazine  was  crammed  to  the  very  throat.  Having  eaten  and 
drunk  his  fill,  he  bethought  him  of  putting  a  finishing  hand  to  the 
farce.  "  Master  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  as  he  rose  from  the  table,  "  I  am  too 
well  pleased  with  my  princely  entertainment  to  leave  you  without 
a  word  of  advice,  of  which  you  seem  to  stand  in  much  need.  From 
this  time  forward  be  on  your  guard  against  extravagant  praise.  Do 
not  trust  men  till  you  know  them.  You  may  meet  with  many 
another  man  who,  like  me,  may  amuse  himself  at  your  expense, 
and  perhaps  carry  the  joke  a  little  further.  But  do  not  you  be 
taken  in  a  second  time,  to  believe  yourself,  on  the  word  of  such 
fellows,  the  eighth  wonder  of  the  world."  With  this  sting  in  the 
tail  of  his  farewell  speech,  he  very  coolly  took  his  leave. 

I  was  as  much  alive  to  so  ridiculous  a  circumstance  as  I  have 
ever  been  in  after-life  to  the  most  severe  mortifications.  I  did  not 
know  how  to  reconcile  myself  to  the  idea  of  having  been  so  egregi- 
ously  taken  in,  or,  in  fact,  to- lowering  of  my  pride.  "  So,  so !"  quoth 
I,  "this  rascal  has  been  putting  his  tricks  upon  travellers,  has  he? 
Then  he  only  wanted  to  pump  my  landlord !  or  more  likely  they 
were  both  in  the  story.  Ah !  my  poor  Gil  Bias,  thou  hadst  better 
hide  thy  silly  head !  To  have  suffered  such  knaves  as  these  to  turn 
thee  into  ridicule !  A  pretty  story  they  will  make  of  this  1  It  is 
sure  to  travel  back  to  Oviedo,  and  will  give  our  friends  a  hopeful 
prospect  of  thy  success  in  life.  The  family  will  be  quite  delighted 
to  think  what  a  blessed  harvest  all  their  pious  advice  has  produced. 
There  was  no  occasion  to  preach  up  morals  to  thee ;  for  verily  thou 
bast  more  of  the  dupe  than  the  sharper  in  thy  composition."  Ready 
to  tear  my  eyes  out  or  bite  my  fingers  off  from  spite  and  vexation,  I 
locked  myself  up  in  my  chamber  and  went  to  bed,  but  not  to  sleep, 
of  which  I  had  not  got  a  wink  when  the  muleteer  came  to  tell  me 
that  he  only  waited  for  me  to  set  out  on  his  journey.  I  got  np  as 
expeditiously  as  I  could  ;  and  while  I  was  dressing,  C!orcuelo  put  in 
his  appearance,  with  a  little  bill  in  his  hand — a  slight  memorandum 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  26 

of  the  trout !  But  paying  through  the  nose  was  not  the  worst  of 
it ;  for  I  had  the  vexation  to  perceive  that  while  I  was  counting 
over  the  cost,  this  hang-dog  was  chuckling  at  the  recollection  of  the 
night  before.  Having  been  fleeced  most  shamefully  for  a  supper, 
which  stuck  in  my  stomach  though  I  had  scarcely  come  in  for  a 
morsel  of  it,  I  joined  the  muleteer  with  my  baggage,  giving  to  as 
many  devils  as  there  are  saints  in  the  calendar  the  parasite,  the 
landlord,  and  the  inn. 


CHAPTEE   III. 


THE  muleteer's  TEMPTATION  ON  THE  KOAD  ;  ITS  CONSEQUENCES,  AND 
THE  SITUATION  OF  GIL  BLAS   BETWEEN  SCYLLA  AND  CHAEYBDIS. 

I  WAS  not  the  only  passenger.  There  were  two  young  gentle- 
men of  Pegnaflor — a  little  chorister  of  Mondognedo,  who  was 
travelling  about  the  country,  and  a  young  tradesman  of  Astorga, 
returning  home  from  Verco  with  his  new-married  wife.  We  soon 
got  acquainted,  and  exchanged  the  usual  confidence  of  travellers, 
telling  one  another  whence  we  came  and  whither  we  were  going. 
The  bride  was  young  enough,  but  so  dark-complexioned,  with  so 
little  of  what  a  man  likes  to  look  at  in  a  woman,  that  I  did  not 
think  her  worth  the  trouble.  But  she  had  youth  and  a  good  plump 
person  on  her  side,  and  the  muleteer,  being  rather  less  nice  in  his 
taste,  was  resolved  to  try  if  he  could  not  get  into  her  good  graces. 
This  pretty  project  occupied  his  ingenuity  during  the  whole  day; 
but  he  deferred  the  execution  till  we  should  get  to  Cacabelos,  the 
last  place  we  were  to  stop  at  on  the  road.  We  alighted  at  an  inn  in 
the  outskirts  of  the  town,  a  quiet,  convenient  place,  with  a  landlord 
who  never  troubled  himself  about  other  people's  concerns.  We 
were  ushered  into  a  private  room,  and  got  our  supper  snugly ;  but 
just  as  the  cloth  was  taken  away,  in  comes  our  carrier  in  a  furious 
passion  : — "  Death  and  the  devil !  I  have  been  robbed.  Here  had  I 
a  hundred  pistoles  in  my  purse  I  But  I  will  have  them  back  again. 
I  am  going  for  a  magistrate ;  and  those  gentry  will  not  take  a  joke 
upon  such  serious  subjects.  You  will  all  be  put  to  the  rack  unless 
you  confess,  and  give  back  the  money."  The  fellow  played  his  part 
very  naturally,  and  burst  out  of  the  room,  leaving  us  in  a  terrible 
fright. 

We  had  none  of  us  the  least  suspicion  of  the  trick,  and,  being  all 
strangers,  were  afraid  of  one  another.    I  looked  askance  at  the  little 


96  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

chorister,  and  he  perhaps  had  no  better  opinion  of  me.  Besides, 
we  were  all  a  pack  of  greenhorns,  and  were  quite  unacquainted  with 
the  routine  of  business  on  these  occasions.  We  were  fools  enough 
to  believe  that  the  torture  would  be  the  very  first  stage  of  our 
examination.  With  this  dread  upon  our  spirits,  we  all  made  for 
the  door.  Some  effected  their  escape  into  the  street,  others  into 
the  garden ;  but  the  whole  party  preferred  the  discretion  of  run- 
ning away  to  the  valor  of  standing  their  ground.  The  young  trades- 
man of  Astorga  had  as  great  an  objection  to  bone-twisting  as  the 
rest  of  us,  so  he  did  as  ^neas  and  many  another  good  husband  has 
done  before  him — ran  away  and  left  his  wife  behind.  At  that 
critical  moment  the  muleteer,  as  I  was  told  afterwards,  who  had  not 
half  so  much  sense  of  decency  as  his  own  mules,  delighted  at  the 
success  of  his  stratagem,  began  making  advances  to  the  citizen's 
wife ;  but  this  Lucrece  of  the  Asturias,  borrowing  the  chastity  of  a 
saint  from  the  ugliness  of  the  devil  who  tempted  her,  defended  her 
sweet  person  tooth  and  nail,  and  showed  she  was  in  earnest  about 
it  by  the  noise  she  made.  The  patrol,  who  happened  to  be  passing 
by  the  inn  at  the  time,  and  knew  that  the  neighborhood  required  a 
little  looking  after,  took  the  liberty  of  just  asking  the  cause  of  the 
disturbance.  The  landlord,  who  was  trying  if  he  could  not  sing 
in  the  kitchen  louder  than  she  could  scream  in  the  parlor,  and 
swore  he  heard  no  music  but  his  own,  was  aflast  obliged  to  intro- 
duce the  myrmidons  of  the  police  to  the  distressed  lady,  just  in  time 
to  rescue  her  from  the  necessity  of  a  surrender  at  discretion.  The 
head  officer — a  coarse  fellow,  without  an  atom  of  feeling  for  the 
tender  passion — no  sooner  saw  the  game  that  was  playing,  than  he 
gave  the  amorous  muleteer  five  or  six  blows  with  the  butt  end  of 
his  halberd,  representing  to  him  the  indecency  of  his  conduct  in 
terms  quite  as  offensive  to  modesty  as  the  naughty  propensity  which 
had  called  forth  his  virtuous  indignation.  Neither  did  he  stop  here, 
but  laid  hold  of  the  culprit,  and  carried  plaintiff  and  defendant  be- 
fore the  magistrate.  The  former,  with  her  charms  all  heightened 
by  the  discomposure  of  her  dress,  went  eagerly  to  try  their  effect  in 
obtaining  justice  for  the  outrage  they  had  sustained.  His  worship 
heard  at  least  one  party ;  and  after  solemn  deliberation,  pronounced 
the  offence  to  be  of  the  most  heinous  nature.  He  ordered  him  to  be 
stripped,  and  to  receive  a  competent  number  of  lashes  in  his  pres- 
ence. The  conclusion  of  the  sentence  was,  that  if  the  Endymion  of 
Asturian  Diana  was  not  forthcoming  the  next  day,  a  couple  of 
guards  should  escort  the  disconsolate  goddess  to  the  town  of  Astorga, 
at  the  expense  of  this  mule-driving  Acteon. 

For  my  part,  being  probably  more  terrified  than  the  rest  of  the 
party,  I  got  into  the  fields,  scampering  over  hedge  and  ditch, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  27 

through  enclosures  and  across  commons,  till  I  found  myself  hard 
by  a  forest.  I  was  just  going  for  concealment  to  ensconce  myself  in 
the  very  heart  of  the  thicket,  when  two  men  on  horseback  rode 
across  me,  crying,  "  Who  goes  there  ?"  As  my  alarm  prevented  me 
from  giving  them  an  immediate  answer,  they  came  to  close  quarters, 
and  holding  each  of  them  a  pistol  to  my  throat,  required  me  to  give 
an  account  of  myself;  who  I  was,  whence  I  came,  what  business  I 
had  in  that  forest,  and  above  all,  not  to  tell  a  lie  about  it.  Their 
rough  interrogatives  were,  according  to  my  notion,  little  better  than 
the  rack  with  which  our  friend  the  muleteer  had  offered  to  treat  us. 
I  represented  myself,  however,  as  a  young  man  on  my  way  from 
Oviedo  to  Salamanca ;  told  the  story  of  our  late  fright,  and  faith- 
fully attributed  my  running  away  in  such  a  hurry  to  the  dread  of 
a  worse  exercise  under  the  torture.  They  burst  into  an  immoderate 
fit  of  laughter  at  my  simplicity,  and  one  of  them  said :  "  Take  heart, 
my  little  friend ;  come  along  with  us,  and  do  not  be  afraid ;  we  will 
put  you  in  a  place  where  the  devil  shall  not  find  you."  At  these 
words  he  took  me  up  behind  him,  and  we  darted  into  the  forest. 

I  did  not  know  what  to  think  of  this  odd  meeting ;  yet,  on  the 
whole,  I  could  not  well  be  worse  off  than  before.  "  If  these  gentry," 
thought  I  to  myself,  "  had  been  thieves,  they  would  have  robbed  and 
perhaps  murdered  me.  Depend  on  it,  they  are  a  couple  of  good 
honest  country  gentlemen  in  this  neighborhood,  who  seeing  me 
frightened,  have  taken  compassion  on  me,  and  mean  to  carry  me 
home  with  them  and  make  me  comfortable."  But  these  visions  did 
not  last  long.  After  turning  and  winding  backward  and  forward  in 
deep  silence,  we  found  ourselves  at  the  foot  of  a  hill,  where  we  dis- 
mounted. "  This  is  our  abode,"  said  one  of  these  sequestered  gentle- 
men. I  looked  about  in  all  directions,  but  the  deuce  a  bit  of  either 
house  or  cottage,  nor  a  vestige  of  human  habitation  I  The  two  men 
in  the  meantime  raised  a  great  wooden  trap,  covered  with  earth  and 
briers,  to  conceal  the  entrance  of  a  long  shelving  passage  under 
ground,  to  which  from  habit  the  poor  beasts  took  very  kindly  of 
their  own  accord.  Their  masters  kept  tight  hold  of  me,  and  let  the 
trap  down  after  them.  Thus  was  the  worthy  nephew  of  my  uncle 
Perez  caught,  just  for  all  the  world  as  you  would  catch  a  rat. 


28  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

CHAPTER  IV. 

DESCRIPTION  OF  THE   BCBTEKRANEOUS  DWELLING  AND  ITS  CONTENTS. 

I  NOW  knew  into  what  company  I  had  fallen ;  and  I  leave  it  to 
any  one  to  judge  whether  the  discovery  must  not  have  rid  me 
of  my  former  fear.  A  dread  more  mighty  and  more  just  now 
/seized  my  faculties.  Money  and  life,  all  given  up  for  lost!  With 
the  air  of  a  victim  on  his  passage  to  the  altar,  did  I  walk,  more 
dead  than  alive,  between  my  two  conductors,  who  finding  that  I 
trembled,  frightened  me  so  much  the  more  by  telling  me  not  to  be 
afraid.  When  we  had  gone  two  hundred  paces,  winding  down  a 
declivity  all  the  way,  we  got  into  a  stable  lighted  by  two  large  iron 
lamps  suspended  from  the  vault  above.  There  was  a  good  store  of 
straw,  and  several  casks  of  hay  and  corn,  with  room  enough  for 
twenty  horses ;  but  at  that  time  there  were  only  the  two  which  came 
with  us.  An  old  negro,  who  seemed  for  his  years  in  pretty  good 
case,  was  tying  them  to  the  rack  where  they  were  to  feed. 

We  went  out  of  the  stable.  By  the  melancholy  light  of  some 
other  lamps,  which  only  served  to  dress  up  horror  in  its  native 
colors,  we  arrived  at  a  kitchen  where  an  old  harridan  was  broiling 
some  steaks  on  the  coals,  and  getting  supper  ready.  The  kitchen 
furniture  was  better  than  might  be  expected,  and  the  pantry  pro- 
vided in  a  very  plentiful  manner.  The  lady  of  the  larder's  picture 
is  worth  drawing.  Considerably  on  the  wrong  side  of  sixty  I  In 
her  youth  her  hair  had  been  of  a  fiery  red,  though  she  would  have 
called  it  auburn.  Time  had  indeed  given  it  the  fairer  tint  of  gray  ; 
but  a  lock  of  more  youthful  hue,  interspersed  at  intervals,  produced 
all  the  variegated  effect  of  the  admired  autumnal  shades.  To  say 
nothing  of  an  olive  complexion,  she  had  an  enormous  chin  turning 
up,  an  immense  nose  turning  down,  with  a  mouth  in  the  middle, 
modestly  retiring  inwards,  to  make  room  for  its  encroaching  neigh- 
bors. Red  eyes  are  no  beauty  in  any  animal  but  a  ferret — hers  were 
purple. 

"  Here,  Dame  Leonarda,"  said  one  of  the  horsemen,  as  he  presented 
me  to  this  angelic  imp  of  darkness,  "  we  have  brought  you  a  young 
lad."  Then  looking  round,  and  observing  me  to  be  miserably  pale, 
"  Pluck  up  your  spirits,  my  friend  ;  you  shall  come  vo  no  harm.  We 
want  a  scullion,  and  have  met  with  you.  You  are  a  lucky  dog! 
We  had  a  boy  who  died  about  a  fortnight  ago ;  you  shall  succeed  to 
the  preferment.  He  was  rather  too  delicate  for  his  place.  You 
seem  a  good  stout  fellow,  and  may  live  a  week  or  two  longer.  We 
find  you  in  bed  and  board,  coal  and  candle ;  but  as  for  daylight,  you 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  29 

shall  never  see  that  again.  Your  leisure  hours  will  pass  off  very 
agreeably  with  Leonarda,  who  is  really  a  very  good  creature,  and 
tolerably  tender-hearted ;  you  will  have  all  your  little  comforts 
about  you.  I  flatter  myself  you  have  not  got  among  beggars."  At 
this  moment  the  thief  seized  a  flambeau ;  and  as  I  fedred,  "  with 
zeal  to  destroy ;"  for  he  ordered  me  to  follow  him. 

He  took  me  into  a  cellar,  where  I  saw  a  great  number  of  bottles 
and  earthen  pots  full  of  excellent  Avine,  He  then  made  rpe  cross 
several  rooms.  In  some  were  pieces  of  cloth  piled  up ;  in  others, 
stuffs  and  silks.  As  we  passed  through,  I  could  not  help  casting  a 
sheep's  eye  at  the  gold  and  silver  plate  peeping  out  of  the  different 
cupboards.  After  that,  I  followed  him  into  a  great  hall  illuminated 
by  three  copper  lustres,  and  serving  as  a  gallery  between  the  other 
rooms.  Here  he  put  fresh  questions  to  me,  asking  my  name,  why 
I  left  Oviedo.  When  I  had  satisfied  his  curiosity :  "  Well,  Gil  Bias," 
said  he,  "  since  your  only  motive  for  quitting  your  native  place  was 
to  get  into  something  snug  and  eligible,  to  be  sure  you  must  have 
been  bom  to  good  luck,  or  you  would  not  have  fallen  into  our 
hands.  I  tell  you  once  for  all,  you  will  live  here  on  the  fat  of  the 
land,  and  may  souse  over  head  and  ears  in  ready  money.  Besides, 
you  are  in  a  place  of  perfect  safety.  The  officers  of  the  holy 
brotherhood  might  pass  through  the  forest  a  hundred  times  without 
discovering  our  subterraneous  abode.  The  entrance  is  only  known 
to  myself  and  my  comrades.  You  may  perhaps  ask  how  it  came  to 
be  contrived,  without  being  perceived  by  the  inhabitants  in  the 
neighborhood.  But  you  are  to  understand,  my  friend,  that  it  was 
made  long  ago,  and  is  no  work  of  ours.  After  the  Moors  had  made 
themselves  masters  of  Granada,  of  Arragon,  and  nearly  the  whole  of 
Spain,  the  Christians,  rather  than  submit  to  the  tyranny  of  infidels, 
betook  themselves  to  flight,  and  lay  concealed  in  this  country,  in 
Biscay,  and  in  the  Asturias,  whither  the  brave  Don  Pelagio  had 
withdrawn  himself.  They  lived  in  a  state  of  exile,  on  the  moun- 
tains, or  in  the  woods  dispersed  in  little  knots.  Some  took  up  their 
residences  in  natural  caves,  others  in  artificial  dwellings  under 
ground,  like  this  we  are  in.  In  process  of  time,  when  by  the  bless- 
ing of  Providence  they  had  driven  their  enemies  out  of  Spain,  they 
returned  to  the  towns.  From  that  time  forth  their  retreats  have 
served  as  a  rendezvous  for  the  gentlemen  of  our  profession.  It  is 
true  that  several  of  them  have  been  discovered  and  destroyed  by 
the  holy  brotherhood,  but  there  are  some  yet  remaining:  and,  by 
great  good  luck,  I  have  tenanted  this  without  paying  any  rent  for  it 
almost  these  fifteen  years.  Captain  Rolando,  at  your  service!  I 
am  the  leader  of  the  band,  and  the  man  you  saw  with  me  was  one 
of  my  troopers." 


to  JLDVBNTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER  V. 

ARRIVAL   OF   THE   BANDITTI    IN  THE    SUBTEKRANEOUS    RETREAT,  WITH 
AN  ACCOUNT  OF  THEIR  PLEASANT  CONVERSATION. 

JUST  as  Captain  Rolando  had  finished  his  speech,  six  new  faces 
raa^e  their  appearance  in  the  hall — the  lieutenant  and  five 
privates,  returning  home  with  their  booty.  They  were  hauling  in 
two  great  baskets  full  of  sugar,  cinnamon,  pepper,  figs,  almonds, 
and  raisins.  The  lieutenant  gave  an  account  of  their  proceedings 
to  the  captain,  and  told  him  they  had  taken  these  articles,  as  well 
as  the  sumpter-mule,  from  a  grocer  of  Benavento.  An  ofiicial  report 
having  thus  been  made  to  the  prime-minister,  the  grocer's  contribu- 
tion was  carried  to  account ;  and  the  next  step  was  to  regale  after 
their  labors.  A  large  table  was  set  out  in  the  hall.  They  sent  me 
back  to  the  kitchen,  where  Dame  Leonarda  told  me  what  I  had  to 
do.  I  made  the  best  of  a  bad  bargain,  finding  the  luck  ran  against 
me;  and,  swallowing  my  grievances,  set  myself  to  wait  on  my  noble 
masters. 

I  cleaned  my  plate,  set  out  my  sideboard,  and  brought  up  my 
wine.  As  soon  as  I  announced  dinner  to  be  on  table,  consisting  of 
two  good  black-peppery  ragouts  for  the  first  course,  this  high  and 
mighty  company  took  their  seats.  They  fell  to  most  voraciously. 
My  place  was  to  wait ;  and  I  handed  about  the  glasses  with  so  butler- 
like an  air,  as  to  be  not  a  little  complimented  on  my  dexterity.  The 
chief  entertained  them  with  a  short  sketch  of  my  story,  and  praised 
my  parts.  But  I  had  recovered  from  my  mania  by  this  time,  and 
could  listen  to  my  own  panegyric  with  the  humility  of  an  anchorite 
or  the  contempt  of  a  philosopher.  They  all  seemed  to  take  a  liking 
to  me,  and  to  think  I  had  dropped  from  the  clouds  on  purpose  to  be 
their  cup-bearer.  My  predecessor  was  a  fool  to  me.  Since  his 
death,  the  illustrious  Leonarda  had  the  honor  of  presenting  nectar 
to  these  gods  of  the  lower  regions.  But  she  was  now  degraded,  and 
I  had  the  felicity  of  being  installed  in  her  office.  Thus,  old  Hebe 
being  a  little  worse  for  wear,  young  Ganymede  tripped  up  her 
heels. 

A  substantial  joint  of  meat  after  the  ragouts  at  length  blunted  the 
edge  of  their  appetites.  Eating  and  drinking  went  together;  so 
that  they  soon  got  into  a  merry  pin,  and  made  a  roaring  noise. 
Well  done,  my  lads !  All  talkers  and  no  listeners.  One  begins  a 
long  story,  another  cuts  a  joke  ;  here  a  fellow  hawk,  there  a  fellow 
sings ;  and  they  all  seem  to  be  at  cross-purposes.  At  last  Rolando, 
tired  of  a  concert  in  which  he  could  hardly  hear  the  sound  of  hia 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  81 

own  voice,  let.  them  know  that  he  was  the  maestro  di  capella,  and 
brought  them  into  better  tune.  "  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  "  I  have  a  ques- 
tion to  put.  Instead  of  stunning  one  another  with  this  infernal  din, 
had  we  not  better  enjoy  a  little  rational  conversation  ?  A  thought 
is  just  come  into  my  head.  Since  the  happy  day  that  united  us,  we 
have  never  had  the  curiosity  to  inquire  into  each  other's  pedigrees, 
or  by  what  chain  of  circumstances  we  were  each  of  us  led  to  embrace 
our  present  way  of  life.  There  would  be  no  harm  in  knowing  who 
and  who  are  together.  Let  us  exchange  confidence ;  we  may  find 
some  amusement  in  it."  The  lieutenant  and  the  rest,  like  true  heroes 
of  romance,  accepted  the  challenge  with  the  utmost  courtesy,  and 
the  captain  told  the  first  story  to  the  following  efiect : — 

"  Gentlemen,  you  are  to  know  that  I  am  the  only  son  of  a  rich 
citizen  of  Madrid.  The  day  of  my  birth  was  celebrated  in  the 
family  by  rejoicings  without  end.  My  father — no  chicken — thought 
it  a  considerable  feat  to  have  got  an  heir,  and  my  mother  was  kind 
enough  to  suckle  me  herself.  My  maternal  grandfather  was  still 
living — a  good  old  man,  who  did  not  trouble  himself  about  other 
people's  concerns,  but  said  his  prayers,  and  fought  his  campaigns 
over  and  over  again ;  for  he  had  been  in  the  army.  Of  course  I  was 
idolized  by  these  three  persons :  never  out  of  their  arms.  My  early 
years  were  passed  in  the  most  childish  amusements,  for  fear  of  hurt- 
ing my  health  by  application.  '  It  will  not  do,'  said  my  father,  '  to 
hammer  too  much  learning  into  children  till  time  has  ripened  their 
understanding.'  While  he  waited  for  this  ripening,  the  season  went 
by.  I  could  neither  read  nor  write,  but  I  made  up  for  that  in  other 
ways.  My  father  taught  me  a  thousand  different  games.  I  became 
perfectly  acquainted  with  cards,  was  no  stranger  to  dice,  and  my 
grandfather  set  me  the  example  of  drawing  the  long  bow,  while  he 
entertained  me  with  his  military  exploits.  He  sung  the  same  songs 
repeatedly,  one  after  another  every  day,  so  that  when,  after  saying 
ten  or  twelve  lines  after  him  for  three  months  together,  I  got  to 
boggle  through  them  without  missing,  the  whole  family  were  in 
raptures  at  my  memory.  Neither  was  my  wit  thought  to  be  at  all 
less  extraordinary ;  for  I  was  suffered  to  talk  at  random,  and  took 
care  to  put  in  my  oar  in  the  most  impertinent  manner  possible. 
'  O,  the  pretty  little  dear !'  exclaimed  my  father,  as  if  he  had  been 
fascinated.  My  mother  made  it  up  with  kisses,  and  my  grandfather's 
old  eyes  overflowed.  I  played  all  sorts  of  dirty  and  indecent  tricks 
before  them  with  impunity ;  everything  was  excusable  in  so  fine  a 
boy ;  an  angel  could  not  do  wrong.  Going  on  in  this  manner,  I  was 
already  in  my  twelfth  year  without  ever  having  a  master.  It  waa 
high  time ;  but  then  he  was  to  teach  me  by  fair  means ;  he  might 
threaten,  but  must  not  flog  me.    This  arrangement  did  me  little 


82  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

good,  for  sometimes  I  laughed  when  my  tutor  scolded ;  at  others,  I 
ran  with  tears  in  my  eyes  to  my  mother  or  my  grandfather,  and  com- 
plained that  he  used  me  ill.  The  poor  devil  got  nothing  by  denying 
it.  My  word  was  always  taken  before  his,  and  he  came  oflf  with  the 
character  of  a  cruel  rascal.  One  day  I  scratched  myself  with  my 
own  nails,  and  set  up  a  howl  as  if  I  had  been  flogged.  My  mother 
ran  and  turned  the  master  out  of  doors,  though  he  vowed  and  pro- 
tested he  had  never  lifted  a  finger  against  me. 

"  Thus  did  I  get  rid  of  all  my  tutors,  till  at  last  I  met  with  one  to 
my  mind.  He  was  a  bachelor  of  Alcala.  This  was  the  master  for  a 
young  man  of  fashion.  Women,  wine,  and  gaming  were  his  prin- 
cipal amusements.  It  was  impossible  to  be  in  better  hands.  He 
hit  the  right  nail  on  the  head,  for  he  let  me  do  what  I  pleased,  and 
thus  got  into  the  good  graces  of  the  family,  who  abandoned  me  to 
his  conduct.  They  had  no  reason  to  repent.  He  perfected  me 
betimes  in  the  knowledge  of  the  world.  By  dint  of  taking  me  about 
to  all  his  haunts,  he  gave  such  a  finish  to  my  education,  that,  barring 
literature  and  science,  I  became  a  universal  scholar.  As  soon  as  he 
saw  that  I  could  go  alone  in  the  high  road  to  ruin,  he  went  to 
qualify  others  for  the  same  journey, 

"  During  my  childhood  I  had  lived  at  home  just  as  I  liked,  and  did 
not  sufficiently  consider  that  now  I  was  beginning  to  be  responsible 
for  my  own  actions.  My  father  and  mother  were  a  standing  jest. 
Yet  they  were  themselves  thrown  into  convulsions  at  my  sallies ; 
and  the  more  ridiculous  they  were  made  by  them,  the  more  waggish 
they  thought  me.  In  the  meantime  I  got  into  all  manner  of  scrapes 
with  some  young  fellows  of  my  own  kidney ;  and,  as  our  relations 
kept  us  rather  too  short  of  cash  for  the  exigencies  of  so  loose  a  life, 
we  each  of  us  made  free  with  whatever  we  could  lay  our  hands  on 
in  our  own  families.  Finding  this  would  not  raise  the  supplies,  we 
began  to  pick  pockets  in  the  streets  at  night.  As  ill  luck  would 
have  it,  our  exploits  came  to  the  knowledge  of  the  police.  A  war- 
rant was  out  against  us ;  but  some  good-natured  friend,  thinking  it 
a  pity  we  should  be  nipped  in  the  bud,  gave  us  a  caution.  We  took 
to  our  heels,  and  rose  in  our  vocation  to  the  rank  of  highwaymen. 
From  that  time  forth,  gentlemen,  with  a  blessing  on  my  endeavors, 
I  have  gone  on  till  I  am  almost  the  father  of  the  profession,  in  spite 
of  the  dangers  to  which  it  is  exposed." 

Here  the  captain  ended,  and  it  came  to  the  turn  of  the  lieutenant. 
"Gentlemen,  extremes  are  said  to  meet;  and  so  it  will  appear  from 
a  comparison  of  our  commander's  education  and  mine.  My  father 
was  a  butcher  at  Toledo.  He  passed,  with  reason,  for  the  greatest 
brute  in  the  town,  and  my  mother's  sweet  disposition  was  not  mended 
by  the  example.    In  my  childhood  they  whipped  me  in  emulation  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  33 

one  another;  I  came  in  for  a  thousand  lashes  of  a  day!  The 
dightest  fault  was  followed  up  by  the  severest  punishment.  In  vain 
did  I  beg  for  mercy,  with  tears  in  my  eyes,  and  protest  that  I  was 
sorry  for  what  I  had  done.  They  never  excused  me,  and  nine  times 
out  of  ten  flogged  me  for  nothing.  When  I  was  under  my  father's 
lash,  my  mother,  not  thinking  his  arm  stout  enough,  lent  her  assist- 
ance, instead  of  begging  me  off.  The  favors  I  received  at  their 
hands  gave  me  such  a  disgust,  that  I  quitted  their  house  before  I 
had  completed  my  fourteenth  year,  took  the  Arragon  road,  and 
begged  my  way  to  Saragossa.  There  I  associated  with  vagrants, 
who  led  a  merry  enough  life.  They  taught  me  to  counterfeit  blind- 
ness and  lameness,  to  dress  up  an  artificial  wound  in  each  of  my 
legs,  and  to  adopt  many  other  methods  of  imposing  on  the  credulity 
of  the  charitable  and  humane.  In  the  morning,  like  actors  at 
rehearsal,  we  cast  our  characters,  and  settled  the  business  of  the 
comedy.  We  had  each  our  exits  and  our  entrances,  till  in  the  even- 
ing the  curtain  dropped,  and  we  regaled  at  the  expense  of  the  dupes 
we  had  deluded  in  the  day.  Wearied,  however,  with  the  company 
of  these  wretches,  and  wishing  to  live  in  more  worshipful  society,  I 
entered  into  partnership  with  a  gang  of  sharpers.  These  fellows 
taught  me  some  good  tricks ;  but  Saragossa  soon  became  too  hot  to 
hold  us,  after  we  had  fallen  out  with  a  limb  of  the  law,  who  had 
hitherto  taken  us  under  his  protection.  We  each  of  us  provided  for 
ourselves,  and  left  the  devil  to  take  the  hindmost.  For  my  part,  I 
enlisted  in  a  brave  and  veteran  regiment,  which  had  seen  abundance 
of  service  on  the  king's  highway ;  and  I  found  myself  so  comfortable 
in  their  quarters,  that  I  had  no  desire  to  change  my  berth.  So 
that  you  see,  gentlemen,  I  was  very  much  obliged  to  my  relations 
for  their  bad  behavior ;  for  if  they  had  treated  me  a  little  more 
kindly,  I  might  have  been  a  blackguard  butcher  at  this  moment, 
instead  of  having  the  honor  to  be  your  lieutenant." 

"Gentlemen,"  interrupted  a  hopeful  young  freebooter,  who  sat 
between  the  captain  and  the  lieutenant,  "  the  stories  we  have  just 
heard  are  neither  so  complicated  nor  so  curious  as  mine.  I  peeped 
into  existence  by  means  of  a  country-woman  in  the  neighborhood 
of  Seville.  Three  weeks  after  she  had  set  me  down  in  this  system, 
a  nurse-child  was  offered  her.  You  are  to  understand  she  was  yet 
in  her  prime,  comely  in  her  person,  and. had  a  good  breast  of  milk. 
The  young  suckling  had  noble  blood  in  him,  and  was  an  only  son. 
My  mother  accepted  the  proposal  with  all  her  heart,  and  went  to 
fetch  the  child.  It  was  entrusted  to  her  care.  She  had  no  sooner 
brought  it  home,  than,  fancying  a  resemblance,  she  conceived  the 
idea  of  substituting  me  for  the  brat  of  high  birth,  in  the  hope  of 
drawing  a  handsome  commission   at  some   future  time  for  this 


84  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

motherly  office  in  behalf  of  her  infant.  My  father,  whose  morals 
were  on  a  level  with  those  of  clodhoppers  in  general,  lent  himself 
very  willingly  to  the  cheat,  so  that,  with  only  a  change  of  clouts, 
the  son  of  Don  Rodrigo  de  Herrera  was  packed  off  in  my  name  to 
another  nurse,  and  my  mother  suckled  her  own  and  her  master's 
child  at  once  in  my  little  person. 

"  They  may  say  what  they  will  of  instinct  and  force  of  blood  1  The 
little  gentleman's  parents  were  very  easily  taken  in.  They  had  not 
the  slightest  suspicion  of  the  trick,  and  were  eternally  dandling  me 
till  I  was  seven  years  old.  As  it  was  their  intention  to  make  me  a 
finished  gentleman,  they  gave  me  masters  of  all  kinds ;  but  I  had 
very  little  taste  for  their  lessons,  and  above  all,  I  detested  the 
sciences.  I  would  at  any  time  rather  play  with  the  servants  or  the 
stable  boys,  and  was  a  complete  kitchen  genius.  But  tossing  up  for 
beads  or  tails  was  not  my  ruling  passion.  Before  seventeen  I  had 
an  itch  for  getting  drunk.  I  played  the  devil  among  the  chamber-* 
maids;  but  my  prime  favorite  was  a  kitchen-girl,  who  had  infinity 
merit  in  my  eyes.  She  was  a  great,  bloated  horse-godmother,  whos< 
good  ca.se  and  easy  morals  suited  me  exactly.  I  made  love  to  hei 
with  so  little  circumspection  that  Don  Rodrigo  took  notice  of  it. 
He  took  me  to  task  pretty  sharply,  twitted  me  with  my  low  taste, 
and,  for  fear  the  presence  of  my  charmer  should  counteract  his  sage 
counsels,  showed  the  goddess  of  my  devotions  the  outside  of  the 
door. 

"  This  proceeding  was  rather  offensive,  and  I  determined  to  be  even 
with  him.  I  stole  his  wife's  jewels  ;  and  ravishing  my  Helen  from 
a  laundress  of  her  acquaintance,  went  off  with  her  in  open  day,  that 
the  transaction  might  lose  nothing  in  point  of  notoriety.  But  this 
was  not  all.  I  carried  her  among  her  relations,  where  I  married 
her  according  to  the  rites  of  the  church,  as  much  from  the  personal 
motive  'of  mortifying  Herrera,  as  from  the  patriotic  enthusiasm  of 
encouraging  our  young  nobility  to  mend  the  breed.  Three  months 
afler  marriage,  I  heard  that  Don  Rodrigo  had  gone  the  way  of  all 
flesh.  The  intelligence  was  not  lost  upon  me.  I  was  at  Seville  in 
a  twinkling,  to  administer  in  due  form  and  order  to  his  effects ;  but 
the  tables  were  turned.  My  mother  had  paid  the  debt  of  nature, 
and  in  her  last  agonies  had  been  so  much  off  her  guard  as  to  confess 
the  whole  affair  to  the  curate  of  the  village  and  other  competent 
witnesses.  Don  Rodrigo's  son  had  already  taken  my  place,  or 
rather  his  own,  and  his  popularity  was  increased  by  the  deficiency 
of  mine;  so  that  as  the  trumps  were  all  out  in  that  hand,  and  I  had 
no  particular  wish  for  the  present  my  wife  was  likely  to  make  me, 
I  joined  issue  with  some  desperate  blades,  with  whom  I  began  my 
trading  ventures." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  85 

The  young  cut-purse  having  finished  his  story,  another  told  us 
that  he  was  the  son  of  a  merchant  at  Burgos ;  that,  in  his  youth, 
prompted  more  by  piety  than  wit,  he  had  taken  the  religious  habit, 
and  professed  in  a  very  strict  order,  and  that  a  few  years  afterwards 
he  had  apostatized.  In  short,  the  eight  robbers  told  their  tale  one 
after  another,  and  when  I  had  heard  them  all,  I  did  not  wonder 
that  the  destinies  had  brought  them  together.  The  conversation 
now  took  -a  different  turn.  They  brought  several  schemes  upon  the 
carpet  for  the  next  campaign ;  and  after  having  laid  down  their 
plan  of  operations,  rose  from  table  and  went  to  bed.  They  lighted 
their  night  candles,  and  withdrew  to  their  apartments.  I  attended 
Captain  Rolando  to  his.  While  1  was  fiddling  about  him  as  he  un- 
dressed :  "  Well,  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  you  see  how  we  live  1  We  are 
always  merry  ;  hatred  and  envy  have  no  footing  here ;  we  have  not 
the  least  diiference,  but  hang  together  just  like  monks.  You  are 
sure,  my  good  lad,  to  lead  a  pleasant  life  here ;  for  I  do  not  think 
you  are  fool  enough  to  make  any  bones  about  consorting  with  gen- 
tlemen of  the  road.  In  what  does  ours  differ  from  many  a  more 
reputable  trade  ?  Depend  on  it,  my  friend,  all  men  love  two  hands 
in  theii  neighbor's  purse,  though  only  one  in  their  own.  Men's 
principles  are  all  alike,  the  only  difference  lies  in  the  mode  of 
carrying  them  into  effect.  Conquerors,  for  instance,  make  free  with 
the  territories  of  their  neighbors.  People  of  fashion  borrow,  and 
do  not  pay.  Bankers,  treasurers,  brokers,  clerks,  and  traders  of  all 
kinds,  wholesale  and  retail,  give  ample  liberty  to  their  wants  to 
overdraw  on  their  conscience.  J  shall  not  mention  the  hangers-on 
of  the  law  ;  we  all  know  how  it  goes  with  them.  At  the  same  time 
it  must  be  allowed  that  they  have  more  humanity  than  we  have ; 
for  as  it  is  often  our  vocation  to  take  away  the  life  of  the  innocent 
for  plunder,  it  is  sometimes  theirs  for  fee  and  reward  to  save  the 
guilty." 


CHAPTER    TI. 

THE  ATTEMPT  OF  GIL  BLAS  TO  ESCAPE,  AND  ITS  STTCCESS. 

AFTER  the  captain  of  the  banditti  had  thus  apologized  for 
adopting  such  a  line  of  life,  he  went  to  bed.  For  my  part,  I 
returned  to  the  hall,  where  I  cleared  the  table,  and  set  every- 
thing to  rights.  Then  I  went  to  the  kitchen,  where  Domingo,  the 
old  negro,  and  Dame  Leonarda  had  been  expecting  me  at  supper. 


36  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

Though  entirely  without  appetite,  I  had  the  good  manners  to  sit 
down  with  them.  Not  a  morsel  could  I  eat ;  and  as  I  scarcely  felt 
more  miserable  than  I  looked,  this  pair,  so  justly  formed  to  meet  by 
nature,  undertook  to  give  me  a  little  comfort.  "  Why  do  you  take 
on  so,  my  good  lad?"  said  the  old  dowager:  "'you  ought  rather 
to  bless  your  stars  for  your  good  luck.  You  are  youn;^,  and 
seem  a  little  soft;  you  would  have  made  a  fine  kettle  of  fish  of  it 
in  the  busy  world.  You  might  have  fallen  into  bad  bands,  and 
then  your  morals  would  have  been  corrupted ;  whereas  here  your 
innocence  is  insured  to  its  full  value."  "  Dame  Leonarda  is  in  the 
right,"  put  in  the  old  negro,  gravely ;  "  the  world  is  but  a  troublesome 
place.  Be  thankful,  my  friend,  for  being  so  early  relieved  from 
the  dangers,  the  difiiculties,  and  the  afflictions  of  this  miserable 
life." 

I  bore  this  prosing  very  quietly,  because  I  should  have  got  no 
good  by  putting  myself  in  a  passion  about  it.  At  length  Domingo, 
after  plying  a  good  knife  and  fork,  and  getting  gloriously  muddled, 
took  himself  off  to  the  stable.  Leonarda,  by  the  glimmering  of  a 
lamp,  showed  me  the  way  to  a  vault  which  served  as  a  last  home  to 
those  of  the  corps  who  died  a  natural  death.  Here  I  stumbled  upon 
something  more  like  a  grave  than  a  bed.  "  This  is  your  room,"  said 
she.  "  Your  predecessor  lay  here  as  long  as  he  was  among  us,  and 
here  he  lies  to  this  day.  He  suffered  himself  to  be  hurried  out  of 
life  in  his  prime :  do  not  you  be  so  foolish  as  to  follow  his  example." 
With  this  kind  advice,  she  left  me  with  the  lamp  for  my  companion 
and  returned  to  the  kitchen.  I  threw  myself  on  the  little  bed,  not  so 
much  for  rest  as  meditation.  "  O  Heaven !"  exclaimed  I,  "  was  there 
ever  a  fate  so  dreadful  as  mine  I  It  is  determined,  then,  that  I  am 
to  take  my  leave  of  daylight !  Besides  this,  as  if  it  was  not  enough 
to  be  buried  alive  at  eighteen,  my  misery  is  to  be  aggravated  by 
being  in  the  service  of  a  banditti ;  by  passing  the  day  with  high- 
waymen, and  the  night  in  a  charnel-house."  These  reflections,  which 
seemed  to  me  very  dismal,  and  were  indeed  no  better  than  they 
seemed,  set  me  crying  most  bitterly.  I  could  not  conceive  what 
cursed  maggot  my  uncle  had  got  into  his  head  to  send  me  to  Sala- 
manca ;  repented  running  away  from  Cacabelos,  and  would  have 
compounded  for  the  torture.  But,  considering  how  vain  it  was  to 
shut  the  door  when  the  steed  was  stolen,  I  determined,  instead  of 
lamenting  the  past,  to  hit  upon  some  expedient  for  making  my 
escape.  "  What!"  thought  I,  "  is  it  impossible  to  get  off?  The  cut- 
throats are  asleep ;  cooky  and  the  black  will  be  snoring  ere  long. 
Why  cannot  I,  by  the  help  of  this  lamp,  find  the  passage  by  which 
I  descended  into  these  infernal  regions?  I  am  afraid,  indeed,  my 
strength  is  not  equal  to  lifting  the  trap  at  the  entrance.    However, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  37 

let  us  see.  Faint  heart  never  won  fair  lady.  Despair  will  lend  me 
new  force,  and  who  knows  but  I  may  succeed  ?" 

Thus  was  the  train  laid  for  a  grand  attempt.  I  got  up  as  soon 
as  Leonarda  and  Domingo  were  likely  to  be  asleep.  With  the  lamp 
in  my  hand,  I  stole  out  of  the  vault,  putting  up  my  prayers  to  all 
the  spirits  in  paradise,  and  ten  miles  round.  It  was  with  no  small 
difficulty  that  I  threaded  all  the  windings  of  this  new  labyrinth. 
At  length  I  found  myself  at  the  stable  door,  and  perceived  the 
passage  which  was  the  object  of  my  search.  Pushing  on,  I  made 
my  way  towards  the  trap  with  a  light  pair  of  heels  and  a  beating 
heart ;  but,  alas  I  in  the  middle  of  my  career  I  ran  against  a  cursed 
iron  grate  locked  fast,  with  bars  so  close  as  not  to  admit  a  hand 
between  them.  I  looked  rather  foolish  at  the  occurrence  of  this 
new  difficulty,  which  I  had  not  been  aware  of  at  my  entrance,  be- 
cause the  grate  was  then  open.  However,  I  tried  what  I  could  do 
by  fumbling  at  the  bars.  Then  for  a  peep  at  the  lock  ;  or  whether  it 
could  not  be  forced!  When  all  at  once  my  poor  shoulders  were 
saluted  with  five  or  six  good  strokes  of  a  cowhide.  I  set  up  such 
a  shrill  alarm  that  the  den  of  Cacus  rang  with  it;  when  looking 
round,  who  should  it  be  but  the  old  negro  in  his  shirt,  holding  a 
dark  lantern  in  one  hand  and  the  instrument  of  my  punishment  in 
the  other.  "  O,  O  !"  quoth  he,  "  my  merry  little  fellow,  you  will  run 
away,  will  you  ?  No,  no !  you  must  not  think  to  set  your  wits 
against  mine.  I  heard  you  all  the  while.  You  thought  you  should 
find  the  grate  open,  did  you  not  ?  You  may  take  it  for  granted,  my 
friend,  that  henceforth  it  will  always  be  shut.  When  we  keep  any 
one  here  against  his  will,  he  must  be  a  cleverer  fellow  than  you  to 
make  his  escape." 

In  the  meantime,  at  the  howl  I  had  set  up,  two  or  three  of  the 
robbers  waked  suddenly ;  and  not  knowing  but  the  holy  brother- 
hood might  be  falling  upon  them,  they  got  up  and  called  their  com- 
rades. Without  the  loss  of  a  moment,  all  were  on  the  alert.  Swords 
and  carbines  were  put  in  requisition,  and  the  whole  posse  advanced 
forward  almost  in  a  state  of  nature  to  the  place  where  I  was  parley- 
ing with  Domingo.  But  as  soon  as  they  learned  the  cause  of  the 
uproar,  their  alarm  resolved  itself  into  a  peal  of  laughter.  "  How 
now,  Gil  Bias,"  said  the  apostate  son  of  the  church,  "  you  have  not 
been  a  good  six  hours  with  us,  and  are  you  tired  of  our  company 
already  ?  You  must  have  a  great  objection  to  retirement.  Why, 
what  would  you  do  if  you  were  a  Carthusian  friar  !  Get  along  with 
you,  and  go  to  bed.  This  time  you  shall  get  off  with  Domingo's 
discipline ;  but  if  you  are  ever  caught  in  a  second  attempt  of  the 
same  kind,  by  Saint  Bartholomew  !  we  will  flay  you  alive."  With 
this  hint  he  retired,  and  the  rest  of  the  party  went  back  to  their 


38  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  DLAS. 

rooms.  The  old  negro,  taking  credit  to  himself  for  his  vigilance, 
returned  to  the  stable,  and  I  found  my  way  back  to  my  charnel- 
house,  where  I  passed  the  remainder  of  the  night  in  weeping  and 
wailing. 


CHAPTEE   VII. 

GIL  BLAS,   NOT   BEING  ABLE  TO   DO  WHAT  HE   LIKES,   DOES  WHAT 
HE  CAN. 

FOR  the  first  few  days,  I  thought  I  should  have  given  up  the 
ghost  for  very  spite  and  vexation.  The  lingering  life  I  led 
was  nearly  akin  to  death  itself;  but  in  the  end  my  good  genius 
whispered  me  to  play  the  hypocrite.  I  aimed  at  looking  a  little 
more  cheerful ;  began  to  laugh  and  sing,  though  it  was  sometimes 
on  the  wrong  side  of  my  mouth  in  a  word,  I  put  so  good  a 
face  on  the  matter,  that  Leonarda  and  Domingo  were  completely 
taken  in.  They  thought  the  bird  was  reconciled  to  his  cage.  The 
robbers  entertained  the  same  notion.  I  looked  as  brisk  as  the 
beverage  I  poured  out,  and  put  in  my  oar  whenever  I  thought  I 
could  say  a  good  thing.  My  freedom,  far  from  offending,  was  taken 
in  good  part.  "  Gil  Bias,"  quoth  the  captain  one  evening,  while  I  was 
playing  the  buffoon, "  you  have  done  well,  my  friend,  to  banish  melan- 
choly. I  am  delighted  with  your  wit  and  humor.  Some  people 
wear  a  mask  at  first  acquaintance ;  I  had  no  notion  what  a  jovial 
fellow  you  were." 

My  praises  now  seemed  to  run  from  mouth  to  mouth.  They  were 
all  so  partial  to  me,  that,  not  to  miss  my  opportunity,  "  Gentlemen," 
quoth  I,  "  allow  me  to  tell  you  a  piece  of  my  mind.  Since  I  have  been 
your  guest,  a  new  light  breaks  in  upon  me.  I  have  bid  adieu  to 
vulgar  prejudices,  and  caught  a  ray  at  the  fountain  of  your  illumi- 
nation. I  feel  that  I  was  born  to  be  your  knight  companion.  I 
languish  to  make  one  among  you,  and  will  stand  my  chance  of  a 
halter  with  the  best."  All  the  company  cried  "  Hear !"— I  was  con- 
sidered as  a  promising  member  of  the  senate.  It  was  then  deter- 
mined unanimously  to  give  me  a  trial  in  some  inferior  department; 
afterwards  to  bespeak  me  a  good  desperate  encounter  in  which  I 
might  show  my  prowess,  and  if  T  answered  expectation,  to  give  me 
a  high  and  responsible  employment  in  the  commonwealth. 

It  was  necessary,  therefore,  to  go  on  exhibiting  a  copy  of  my  coun- 
tenance, and  doing  my  best  in  my  office  of  cup-bearer.     I  was  im- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  39 

patient  beyond  measure ;  for  I  only  aspired  after  the  honors  of  the 
sitting,  to  obtain  the  liberty  of  going  abroad  with  the  rest,  and  I 
was  in  hopes  that  by  running  the  risk  of  getting  my  neck  into  one 
noose  I  might  get  it  out  of  another.  This  was  my  only  chance. 
The  time,  nevertheless,  seemed  long  to  wait,  and  I  kept  my  eye  on 
Domingo,  with  the  hope  of  outwitting  him  ;  but  the  thing  was  not 
feasible:  he  was  always  on  the  watch.  Orpheus  as  leader  of  the 
band,  with  a  complete  orchestra  of  performers  as  good  as  himself, 
could  not  have  soothed  the  savage  breast  of  this  Cerberus,  The 
truth  is,  by  the  by,  that  for  fear  of  exciting  his  suspicion,  I  did  not 
set  my  wits  against  him  so  much  as  I  might  have  done.  He  was 
on  the  lookout,  and  I  was  obliged  to  play  the  prude,  or  my  virtue 
might  have  come  into  disgrace.  I  therefore  stopped  proceedings  till 
the  time  of  my  probation  should  expire ;  to  this  I  impatiently  looked 
forward,  just  as  if  I  was  waiting  for  a  place  under  government. 

Heaven  be  praised,  in  about  six  months  I  gained  my  end.  The 
commandant  Rolando,  addressing  his  regiment,  said :  "  Comrades,  we 
must  stand  upon  honor  with  Gil  Bias.  I  have  no  bad  opinion  of 
our  young  candidate;  we  shall  make  something  of  him.  If  you 
will  take  my  advice,  let  him  go  and  reap  his  first  harvest  with  us 
to-morrow  on  the  king's  highway.  We  will  lead  him  on  in  the  path 
of  honor."  The  robbers  applauded  the  sentiments  of  the  captain 
with  a  thunder  of  acclamation ;  and  to  show  me  how  much  I  was 
considered  as  one  of  the  gang,  from  that  moment  they  dispensed 
with  my  attendance  at  the  sideboard.  Dame  Leonarda  was  re- 
instated in  the  office  from  which  she  had  been  discharged  to  make 
room  for  me.  They  made  me  change  my  dress,  which  consisted  of 
a  plain  short  cassock,  a  good  deal  the  worse  for  wear,  and  tricked 
me  out  in  the  spoils  of  a  gentleman  lately  robbed.  After  this  in- 
auguration, I  made  my  arrangements  for  my  first  campaign. 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

GIL  BLAS  GOES  OUT  WITH  THE  GANG,  AND   PERFORMS  AN   EXPLOIT  ON 
THE  HIGHWAY. 

IT  was  past  midnight,  in  the  month  of  September,  when  I  issued 
from  the  subterraneous  abode  as  one  of  the  fraternity.  I  was 
armed,  like  them,  with  a  carbine,  two  pistols,  a  sword  and  a 
bayonet,  and  was  mounted  on  a  very  good  horse,  the  property  of 


4U  APVLWTUIiES  OF  OIL  IILAS. 

the  gentleman  in  whose  costume  I  appeared.  I  had  lived  so  long 
like  a  mole  under  ground,  that  the  daybreak  could  not  fail  to  dazzle 
me ;  but  my  eyes  got  reconciled  to  it  by  degrees. 

We  passed  close  by  Pontl'errada,  and  were  determined  to  lie  in 
ambush  behind  a  small  wood  skirting  the  road  to  Leon.  There  we 
were  waiting  for  whatever  fortune  might  please  to  throw  in  our 
way,  when  we  espied  a  Dominican  friar,  mounted,  contrary  to  the 
rubric  of  those  pious  fathers,  on  a  shabby  mule.  "  God  be  praised  1" 
exclaimed  the  captain,  with  a  sneer;  "this  is  a  noble  beginning  for 
Gil  Bias.  Let  him  go  and  trounce  that  monk;  we  will  bear  witness 
to  his  qualifications."  The  connoisseurs  were  all  of  opinion  that  this 
commission  suited  my  talents  to  a  hair,  and  exhorted  me  to  do  my 
best.  "  Gentlemen,"  quoth  I,  "  you  shall  have  no  reason  to  complain. 
I  will  strip  this  holy  father  to  his  birthday  suit,  and  give  you  com- 
plete right  and  title  to  his  mule."  "  No,  no,"  said  Rolando,  '*  the  beast 
would  not  be  worth  its  fodder ;  only  bring  us  our  reverend  pastor's 
purse,  that  is  all  we  require."  Hereupon  I  issued  from  the  wood 
and  pushed  up  to  the  man  of  God,  doing  penance  all  the  time  in  my 
own  breast  for  the  sin  I  was  committing.  I  could  have  liked  to 
have  turned  my  back  upon  my  fellows  at  that  moment,  but  most  of 
them  had  the  advantage  of  better  horses  than  mine ;  had  they  seen  me 
making  off,  they  would  have  been  at  my  heels,  and  would  soon  have 
caught  me,  or  perhaps  would  have  fired  a  volley,  for  which  I  was  not 
sufficiently  case-hardened.  I  could  not,  therefore,  venture  on  so  peril- 
ous an  alternative ;  so  that  claiming  acquaintance  with  the  reverend 
father,  I  asked  to  look  at  his  purse,  and  just  put  out  the  end  of  a 
pistol.  He  stopped  short  to  gaze  upon  me,  and,  without  seeming 
much  frightened,  said,  "  My  child,  you  are  very  young ;  this  is  an 
early  apprenticeship  to  a  bad  trade."  "  Father,"  replied  I,  "  bad  as  it 
is,  I  wish  I  had  begun  it  sooner."  "  What  I  my  son,"  rejoined  the  good 
friar,  who  did  not  understand  the  real  meaning  of  what  I  said,  "  how 
say  you?  What  blindness^I  give  me  leave  to  place  before  your  eyes 
the  unhappy  condition."  "  Come,  come,  father !"  interrupted  I  with 
impatience,  "  a  truce  to  your  morality,  if  you  please.  My  business 
on  the  high  road  is  not  to  hear  sermons.  Money  makes  my  mare 
go."  "  Money  I"  said  he,  with  a  look  of  surprise ;  "  you  have  a  poor 
opinion  of  Spanish  charity,  if  you  think  that  people  of  my  stamp 
have  any  occasion  for  such  trash  upon  their  travels.  Let  me  un- 
deceive you.  We  are  made  welcome  wherever  we  go,  and  pay  for 
our  board  and  lodgings  by  our  prayers.  In  short,  we  carry  no  cash 
with  us  on  the  road,  but  draw  drafts  upon  Providence."  "  That  is  all 
very  well,"  replied  I ;  "  yet  for  fear  your  drafts  should  be  dishonored, 
you  take  care  to  keep  about  you  a  little  supply  for  present  need. 
But  come,  father,  let  ua  make  an  end ;  my  comrades  in  the  wood  are 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  41 

in  a  hurry,  so  your  money  or  your  life."  At  these  words,  which  I 
pronounced  with  a  determined  air,  the  friar  began  to  think  the 
business  grew  serious.  "  Since  needs  must,"  said  he,  "  there  is  where- 
withal to  satisfy  your  craving.  A  word  and  a  blow  is  the  only 
rhetoric  with  you  gentlemen."  As  he  said  this,  he  drew  a  large 
leathern  purse  from  under  his  gown,  and  threw  it  on  the  ground. 
I  then  told  him  he  might  make  the  best  of  his  way,  and  he  did  not 
wait  for  a  second  bidding,  but  stuck  his  heels  into  the  mule,  which, 
giving  the  lie  to  my  opinion — for  I  thought  it  on  a  par  with  my 
uncle's — set  off  at  a  good  round  pace.  While  he  was  riding  for  his 
life,  I  dismounted.  The  purse  was  none  of  the  lightest.  I  mounted 
again,  and  got  back  to  the  wood,  where  those  nice  observers  were 
waiting  with  impatience  to  congratulate  me  on  my  success.  I 
could  hardly  get  my  foot  out  of  the  stirrup,  so  eager  were  they 
to  shake  hands  with  me.  ** Courage,  Gil  Bias,"  said  Rolando  ;  "you 
have  done  wonders.  I  have  had  my  eyes  on  you  during  your 
whole  performance,  and  have  watched  your  countenance.  I  have 
no  hesitation  in  predicting  that  you  will  become  in  time  a  very 
accomplished  highwayman."  The  lieutenant  and  the  rest  chimed  in 
with  the  prophecy,  and  assured  me  that  I  could  not  fail  of  fulfill- 
ing it  hereafter.  I  thanked  them  for  the  elevated  idea  they  hud 
formed  of  my  talents,  and  promised  to  do  all  in  my  power  not  to 
discredit  their  penetration. 

After  they  had  lavished  praises,  the  effect  rather  of  their  candor 
than  of  my  merit,  they  took  it  into  their  heads  to  examine  the 
booty  I  had  brought  under  my  convoy,  "  Let  us  see,"  said  they, 
"how  a  friar's  purse  is  lined."  "It  should  be  fat  and  flourishing," 
continued  one  of  them,  "  for  these  good  fathers  do  not  mortify  the 
flesh  when  they  travel."  The  captain  untied  the  purse,  opened  it, 
and  took  out  two  or  three  handfuls  of  little  copper  coins,  an  Agnus 
Dei  here  and  there,  and  some  scapularies.  At  sight  of  so  novel  a 
prize,  all  the  privates  burst  into  an  immoderate  fit  of  laughter. 
"God  be  praised  I"  cried  the  lieutenant,  "we  are  very  much  obliged  to 
Gil  Bias ;  his  first  attack  has  produced  a  supply  very  seasonable  to 
our  fraternity."  One  joke  brought  on  another.  These  rascals,  espe- 
cially the  fellow  who  had  retired  from  the  church  to  our  subterra- 
neous hermitage,  began  to  make  themselves  merry  on  the  subject. 
They  said  a  thousand  good  things,  such  as  showed  at  once  the  sharp- 
ness of  their  wits  and  the  profligacy  of  their  morals.  They  were  all 
on  the  broad  grin  except  myself.  It  was  impossible  to  be  butt  and 
marksman  too.  Each  of  them  shot  their  bolt  at  me,  and  the  cap- 
tain said :  "  Faith,  Gil  Bias,  I  would  advise  you  not  to  set  your  wit  a 
second  time  against  the  church ;  the  biter  may  be  bit,  for  you  must 
live  some  time  longer  among  us  before  you  are  a  match  for  them." 


43  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

CHAPTER  IX. 

A  MOEE  SEBIOUS  INCIDENT. 

WE  lounged  about  the  wood  for  the  greater  part  of  the  day 
without  lighting  on  any  traveller  to  pay  toll  for  the  friar. 
At  length  we  were  beginning  to  wear  our  homeward  way,  as  if 
confining  the  feats  of  the  day  to  this  laughable  adventure,  which 
furnished  a  plentiful  fund  for  conversation,  when  we  got  intelli- 
gence of  a  carriage  on  the  road,  drawn  by  four  mules.  They  were 
coming  at  a  hard  gallop,  with  three  outriders,  who  seemed  to 
be  well  armed.  Eolando  ordered  the  troop  to  halt,  and  hold  a 
council,  the  result  of  whose  deliberations  was  to  attack  the  enemy. 
We  were  regularly  drawn  up  in  battle  array,  and  marched  to  meet 
the  caravan.  In  spite  of  the  applause  I  had  gained  in  the  wood, 
I  felt  an  oozing  sort  of  a  tremor  come  over  me,  with  a  chill  in 
my  veins  and  a  chattering  in  my  teeth  that  seemed  to  bode  me 
no  good.  As  it  never  rains  but  it  pours,  I  was  in  the  front  of  the 
battle,  hemmed  in  between  the  captain  and  the  lieutenant,  who  had 
given  me  that  post  of  honor,  that  I  might  lose  no  time  in  learning 
to  stand  fire.  Rolando,  observing  the  low  ebb  of  my  animal  spirits, 
looked  askew  at  me,  and  muttered  in  a  tone  more  resolute  than 
courtly :  "  Hark  ye  I  Gil  Bias,  look  sharp  about  you  !  I  give  you  fair 
notice,  that  if  you  play  the  recreant,  I  shall  lodge  a  couple  of 
bullets  in  your  brain."  I  believed  him  as  firmly  as  my  catechism, 
and  thought  it  high  time  not  to  neglect  the  hint ;  so  that  I  was 
obliged  to  lay  an  embargo  on  the  expression  of  my  fears,  and  to 
think  only  of  recommending  my  soul  to  God  in  silence. 

While  all  this  M'as  going  on,  the  carriage  and  horsemen  drew 
near.  They  suspected  what  sort  of  gentry  we  were,  and  guessing 
our  trade  by  our  badge,  stopped  within  gun-shot.  They  had  car- 
bines and  pistols  as  well  as  ourselves.  While  they  were  preparing 
to  give  us  a  brisk  reception,  there  jumped  out  of  the  coach  a  well- 
looking  gentleman,  richly  dressed.  He  mounted  a  led  horse,  and 
put  himself  at  the  head  of  his  party.  Though  they  were  but  four 
against  nine, — for  the  coachman  kept  his  seat  on  the  box, — they 
advanced  towards  us  with  a  confidence  calculated  to  redouble  my 
terror.  Yet  I  did  not  forget,  though  trembling  in  every  joint,  to 
hold  myself  in  readiness  for  a  shot;  but  to  give  a  candid  relation  of 
the  affair,  I  blinked  and  looked  the  other  way  in  letting  off  my 
piece,  so  that  from  the  harmlessness  of  my  fire,  I  was  sure  not  to 
have  murder  to  answer  for  in  another  world. 

I  shall  not  give  the  particulars  of  the  engagement ;  though  present> 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  48 

I  was  no  eye-witness  ;  and  my  fear,  while  it  laid  hold  of  my  imagi- 
nation, drew  a  veil  over  the  anticipated  horror  of  the  sight.  All  I 
know  about  the  matter  is,  that  after  a  grand  discharge  of  musketry, 
I  heard  my  companions  hallooing  "  Victory !  Victory  1"  as  if  their 
lungs  were  made  of  leather.  At  this  shout  the  terror  which  had 
made  a  forcible  entry  on  my  senses  was  ejected,  and  I  beheld  the 
four  horsemen  stretched  lifeless  on  the  field  of  battle.  On  our  side, 
we  had  only  one  man  killed.  This  was  the  renegade  parson,  who 
had  now  filled  the  measure  of  his  apostasy,  and  paid  for  jesting  with 
scapularies  and  such  sacred  things.  The  lieutenant  received  a 
slight  wound  in  the  arm,  but  the  bullet  did  little  more  than  graze 
the  skin. 

Master  Bolando  was  the  first  at  the  coach-door.  Within  was  a 
lady  of  from  four  to  five-and-twenty,  beautiful  as  an  angel  in  his 
eyes,  in  spite  of  her  sad  condition.  She  had  fainted  during  the 
conflict,  and  her  swoon  still  continued.  While  he  was  fixed  like  a 
statue  on  her  charms,  the  rest  of  us  were  in  profound  meditation  on 
the  plunder.  We  began  by  securing  the  horses  of  the  defunct ;  for 
these  animals,  frightened  at  the  report  of  our  pieces,  had  got  to  a 
little  distance,  after  the  loss  of  their  riders.  For  the  mules,  they 
had  not  wagged  a  hair,  though  the  coachman  had  jumped  from  his 
box  during  the  engagement  to  make  his  escape.  We  dismounted 
for  the  purpose  of  unharnessing,  and  loading  them  with  some  trunks 
tied  before  and  behind  the  carriage.  This  settled,  the  captain 
ordered  the  lady,  who  had  not  yet  recovered  her  faculties,  to  be  set 
on  horseback  before  the  best  mounted  of  the  robbers ;  then,  leaving 
the  carriage  and  the  uncased  carcasses  by  the  roadside,  we  carried 
oflf  with  us  the  lady,  the  mules,  and  the  horses. 


CHAPTER   X. 

THE    lady's   treatment    FROM   THE    ROBBERS.     THE    RESULT   OF   THE 
GREAT  DESIGN  CONCEIVED  BY  GIL  BLAS. 

THE  night  had  another  hour  to  run,  when  we  arrived  at  our 
subterraneous  mansion.  The  first  thing  we  did  was  to  lead 
our  cavalry  to  the  stable,  where  we  were  obliged  to  groom  them 
ourselves,  as  the  old  negro  had  been  confined  to  his  bed  for  three 
days,  with  a  violent  fit  of  the  gout,  and  a  universal  rheumatism. 
He  had  no  member  supple  but  his  tongue,  and  that  he  employed 


44  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

in  testifying  his  indignation  by  tlie  most  horrible  impietica 
Leaving  tliis  wretch  tc  curse  and  swear  by  liimself,  we  went  to  the 
kitchen  to  look  after  the  lady.  So  successful  were  our  attentions, 
that  we  succeeded  in  recovering  her  from  her  fit.  But  when  she 
had  once  more  the  use  of  her  senses,  and  saw  herself  encompassed 
by  strangers,  she  knew  the  extent  of  her  misfortune,  and  shuddered 
at  the  thought.  All  that  grief  and  despair  together  could  present 
of  images  the  most  distressing,  appeared  depicted  in  her  eyes,  which 
she  lifted  up  to  Heaven,  as  if  in  reproach  for  the  indignities  she 
was  threatened  with.  Then,  giving  way  at  once  to  these  dreadful 
apprehensions,  she  fell  again  into  a  swoon,  her  eyelids  closed  once 
more,  and  the  robbers  thought  that  death  was  going  to  snatch  from 
them  their  prey.  The  captain,  therefore,  judging  it  more  to  the 
purpose  to  leave  her  to  herself  than  to  torment  her  with  any  more 
of  their  assistance,  ordered  her  to  be  laid  on  Leonarda's  bed,  and  at 
all  events  to  let  nature  take  its  course. 

We  went  into  the  hall,  where  one  of  the  robbers,  who  had  been 
bred  a  surgeon,  looked  at  the  lieutenant's  arm  and  put  a  plaster  to 
it.  After  this  scientific  operation,  it  was  thought  expedient  to  ex- 
amine the  baggage.  Some  of  the  trunks  were  filled  with  laces  and 
linen,  others  with  various  articles  of  wearing  apparel ;  but  the  last 
contained  some  bags  of  coin — a  circumstance  highly  approved  by  the 
receivers-general  of  the  estate.  After  this  investigation,  the  cook 
set  out  the  sideboard,  laid  the  cloth,  and  served  up  supper.  Our 
conversation  ran  first  on  the  great  victory  we  had  achieved.  "  On 
this  subject,"  said  Rolando,  directing  himself  to  me,  "  confess  the 
truth,  Gil  Bias :  you  cannot  deny  that  you  were  devilishly  frightened." 
I  candidly  admitted  the  fact,  but  promised  to  fight  like  a  crusader, 
after  my  second  or  third  campaign.  Hereupon  all  the  company 
took  my  part,  alleging  the  sharpness  of  the  action  in  my  excuse, 
and  that  it  was  very  well  for  a  novice,  not  yet  accustomed  to  the 
smell  of  powder. 

We  next  talked  of  the  mules  and  horses  just  added  to  our  sub- 
terraneous stud.  It  was  determined  to  set  off  the  next  morning 
before  daybreak,  and  sell  them  at  Mansilla,  before  there  was  any 
chance  of  our  expedition  having  got  wind.  This  resolution  taken, 
we  finished  our  supper,  and  returned  to  the  kitchen  to  pay  our  re- 
spects to  the  lady.  We  found  her  in  the  same  condition.  Never- 
theless, though  the  dregs  of  life  seemed  almost  exhausted,  some  of 
these  poachers  could  not  help  casting  a  wicked  leer  at  her,  .and 
giving  visible  signs  of  a  motion  within  them,  which  w^ould  have 
broken  out  into  overt  act,  had  not  Eolando  put  a  spoke  in  their 
wheel,  by  representing  that  they  ought  at  least  to  wait  till  the  lady 
had  got  rid  of  her  terrors  and  squeamishness,  and  could  come  in  for 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  45 

her  share  of  the  amusement.  Their  respect  for  the  captain  operated 
as  a  check  to  the  incontinence  of  their  passions.  Nothing  else  could 
have  saved  the  lady  ;  nor  would  death  itself  probably  have  secured 
her  from  violation. 

,  Again  therefore  did  we  leave  this  unhappy  female  to  her  melan- 
choly fate.  Eolando  contented  himself  with  charging  Leonarda  to 
take  care  of  her,  and  we  all  separated  for  the  night.  For  my  part, 
when  I  went  to  bed,  instead  of  courting  sleep,  my  thoughts  were 
wholly  taken  up  with  the  lady's  misfortunes.  I  had  no  doubt  of 
her  being  a  woman  of  quality,  and  thought  her  lot  on  that  account 
so  much  the  more  piteous.  I  could  not  paint  to  myself,  without 
shuddering,  the  horrors  which  awaited  her ,  and  felt  myself  as  sen- 
sibly affected  by  them,  as  if  united  to  her  by  the  ties  of  blood  or 
friendship.  At  length,  after  having  sufficiently  bewailed  her  destiny, 
I  mused  on  the  means  of  preserving  her  honor  from  its  present 
danger,  and  myself  from  a  longer  abode  in  this  dungeon.  I  con- 
sidered that  the  old  negro  could  not  stir,  and  recollected  that  since 
his  illness  the  cook  had  the  key  of  the  grate.  That  thought  warmed 
my  fancy,  and  gave  birth  to  a  project  not  to  be  hazarded  lightly : 
the  stages  of  its  execution  were  the  following : — 

I  pretended  to  have  the  colic.  A  lad  in  the  colic  cannot  help  whin  • 
Ing  and  groaning ;  but  I  went  further,  and  cried  out  lustily,  as  loud 
as  my  lungs  would  let  me.  This  roused  my  gentle  friends,  and 
brought  them  about  me,  to  know  what  the  deuce  was  the  matter.  I 
informed  them  that  I  had  a  swinging  fit  of  the  gripes,  and  to  humor 
the  idea,  gnashed  my  teeth,  made  all  manner  of  wry  faces  till  I 
looked  like  a  bedlamite,  and  twisted  my  limbs  as  if  I  had  been  going 
to  be  delivered  of  a  heath«n  oracle.  Then  I  became  calm  all  at  once, 
as  if  my  pains  had  abated.  The  next  minute,  I  flounced  up  and 
down  upon  my  bed,  and  threw  my  arms  about  at  random.  In  a 
word,  I  played  my  part  so  well,  that  these  more  experienced  per- 
formers, knowing  as  they  were,  suffered  themselves  to  be  thrown 
off  their  guard,  and  to  believe  that  my  malady  was  real.  All  at 
once  did  they  busy  themselves  for  my  relief.  One  brought  me  a 
bottle  of  brandy,  and  forced  me  to  gulp  down  half  of  it ;  another,  in 
spite  of  my  remonstrances,  applied  oil  of  sweet  almonds  in  a  very 
offensive  manner:  a  third  went  and  made  a  napkin  burning  hot,  to 
be  clapped  upon  my  stomach.  In  vain  did  I  cry  mercy ;  they  at- 
tributed my  noise  to  the  violence  of  my  disorder,  and  went  on  in- 
flicting positive  evil  by  way  of  remedy  for  that  which  was  artificial. 
At  last,  able  to  bear  it  no  longer,  I  was  obliged  to  swear  that  I  was 
better,  and  entreat  them  to  give  me  quarter.  They  left  off  killing 
me  with  kindness,  and  I  took  care  not  to  complain  any  more,  for 
fear  of  experiencing  their  tender  attentions  a  second  time..- 


46  ADVEXTUJiES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

This  scene  lasted  nearly  three  hours;  after  which  the  robbers, 
calculating  it  to  be  near  daybreak,  prepared  for  their  journey  to 
Mansilla.  I  was  for  getting  up,  as  if  I  had  set  my  heart  on  being 
of  the  party ;  but  that  they  would  not  allow.  "  No,  no,  Gil  Bias,"  said 
Signor  Rolando,  *'  stay  here,  my  lad :  your  colic  may  return.  Yo^ 
shall  go  with  us  another  time ;  to-day  you  are  not  in  travelling  con- 
dition." I  did  not  think  it  prudent  to  urge  my  attendance  too  much, 
for  fear  of  being  taken  at  my  word ;  but  only  affected  great  dis- 
appointment, with  so  natural  an  air,  that  they  all  went  off  without 
the  slightest  misgiving  of  my  design.  After  their  departure,  for 
which  I  had  prayed  most  fervently,  1  said  to  myself:  "  Now  is  your 
time,  Gil  Bias,  to  be  firm  and  resolved.  Arm  yourself  with  courage 
to  go  through  with  an  enterprise  so  propitiously  begun.  Domingo 
is  tied  by  the  leg,  and  Leonarda  may  show  her  teeth,  but  she  cannot 
bite.  Pounce  down  upon  opportunity  while  it  offers;  you  may 
wait  long  enough  for  another,"  Thus  did  I  spirit  myself  up  in 
soliloquy  Having  got  out  of  bed,  I  laid  hold  of  my  sword  and 
pistols,  and  away  I  went  to  the  kitchen.  But  before  I  made  my 
appearance,  I  stopped  to  hear  what  Leonarda  was  talking  about  to 
the  fair  incognita  who  was  come  to  her  senses,  and  on  a  view  of  her 
misfortune  in  its  extremity,  took  on  most  desperately.  "That  is 
right,  my  girl,"  said  the  old  hag,  "  cry  your  eyes  but,  sob  away  plenti- 
fully, you  know  the  good  effect  of  woman's  tears.  The  sudden 
shock  was  too  much  for  you :  but  the  danger  is  over,  now  the  en- 
gines can  play.  Your  grief  will  abate  by  little  and  little,  and  you 
will  get  reconciled  to  living  with  our  gentlemen,  who  are  very  good 
sort  of  people.  You  will  be  better  off"  than  a  princess.  You  do  not 
know  how  fond  they  will  be  of  you.  Not  a  day  will  pass  without 
your  being  obliged  to  some  of  them.  Many  a  woman  would  give 
one  of  her  eyes  to  be  in  your  place." 

I  did  not  allow  Leonarda  time  to  go  on  any  longer  with  this  bab- 
bling. In  I  went,  and  putting  a  pistol  to  her  breast,  insisted  with 
a  menacing  air  on  her  delivering  up  the  key  of  the  grate.  She  did 
not  know  what  to  make  of  my  behavior  ;  and  though  almost  in  the 
last  stage  of  life,  had  such  a  propensity  to  linger  on  the  road,  as  not 
to  venture  on  a  refusal.  With  the  key  in  my  hand,  I  directed  the 
following  speech  to  thedistressed  objectof  my  compassion :  "  Madam, 
Heaven  sends  you  a  deliverer  in  me ;  follow,  and  I  will  see  you  safe 
whithersoever  you  wish  to  be  conducted."  The  lady  was  not  deaf  to 
my  proposal,  which  made  such  an  impression  on  her  grateful  heart, 
that  she  jumped  up  with  all  the  strength  she  had  left,  threw  herself 
at  my  feet,  and  conjured  me  to  save  her  honor.  I  raised  her  from 
the  ground,  and  assured  her  she  might  rely  on  me.  I  then  took 
Bome  ropes  which  were  opportunely  in  the  kitchen,  and  with  her 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  47 

assistance  tied  Leonards  to  the  legs  of  a  large  table,  protesting  that 
I  would  kill  her  if  she  only  breathed  a  murmur.  After  that,  light- 
ing a  candle,  I  went  with  the  incognita  to  the  treasury,  where  I 
filled  my  pockets  with  pistoles,  single  and  double,  as  full  as  they 
could  hold.  To  encourage  the  lady  not  to  be  scrupulous,  I  begged 
she  would  think  herself  at  home,  and  make  free  with  her  own. 
With  our  finances  thus  recruited,  we  went  towards  the  stable,  where 
I  marched  in  with  my  pistols  cocked.  I  was  of  opinion  that  the 
old  blackamoor,  for  all  his  gout  and  rheumatism,  would  not  let  me 
saddle  and  bridle  my  horse  peaceably,  and  my  resolution  was  to  put 
the  finishing  hand  to  all  his  ailments,  if  he  took  it  into  his  head  to 
play  the  churl ;  but,  by  good  luck,  he  was  at  that  moment  in  such 
pain,  that  I  stole  the  steed  without  his  perceiving  that  the  door  was 
open.  The  lady  in  the  meantime  was  waiting  for  me.  We  were 
not  long  in  threading  the  passage  leading  to  the  outlet,  but  reached 
the  grate,  opened  it,  and  at  last  got  to  the  trap.  Much  ado  there 
was  to  lift  it,  which  we  could  not  have  done  but  for  the  new  strength 
we  borrowed  from  the  hopes  of  our  escape. 

Day  was  beginning  to  dawn  when  we  emerged  from  that  abyss. 
Our  first  object  was  to  get  as  far  from  it  as  possible.  I  jumped  into 
the  saddle ;  the  lady  got  up  behind  me,  and  taking  the  first  path 
that  offered,  we  soon  galloped  out  of  the  forest.  Coming  to  some 
cross-roads,  we  took  our  chance.  I  trembled  for  fear  of  its  leading 
to  Mansilla,  and  our  encountering  Rolando  and  his  comrades. 
Luckily  my  apprehensions  were  unfounded.  We  got  to  Astorga  by 
two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  The  people  looked  at  us  as  if  they 
had  never  seen  such  a  sight  before  as  a  woman  riding  behind  a 
man.  We  alighted  at  the  first  inn.  I  immediately  ordered  a  part- 
ridge and  a  young  rabbit  to  the  spit.  While  my  orders  were  in  a 
train  of  execution,  the  lady  was  shown  to  a  room,  where  we  began 
to  scrape  acquaintance  with  one  another,  which  we  had  not  done 
on  the  road,  on  account  of  the  speed  we  made.  She  expressed  a 
high  sense  of  my  services,  and  told  me  that  after  so  gentlemanly  a 
conduct,  she  could  not  allow  herself  to  think  me  one  of  the  gang 
from  whom  I  had  rescued  her.  I  told  her  my  story,  to  confirm  her 
good  opinion.  By  these  means,  I  entitled  myself  to  her  confidence, 
and  to  the  knowledge  of  her  misfortunes,  which  she  recounted  to  the 
following  effect. 


M^^S^^ 


48  ADVEMUHES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

CHAPTER    XI. 

THE  HISTORY  OF  DONNA  MENXIA  DE  MOSQTJERA. 

"  T  WAS  born  at  Valladolid,  and  am  called  Donna  Mencia  de 
I  Mosquera.  My  father,  Don  Martin,  after  spending  most  of 
his  family  estate  in  the  service,  was  killed  in  Portugal  at  the  head 
of  his  regiment.  He  left  me  so  little  property,  that  I  was  a  bad 
match,  though  an  only  daughter.  I  was  not,  however,  without  my 
admirers,  notwithstanding  the  mediocrity  of  my  fortune.  Several 
of  the  most  considerable  cavaliers  in  Spain  sought  me  in  marriage. 
My  favorite  was  Don  Alvar  de  Mello.  It  is  true  he  had  a  prettier 
person  than  his  rivals ;  but  more  solid  qualities  determined  me  in 
his  favor.  He  had  wit,  discretion,  valor,  probity ;  and  in  addition 
to  all  these,  an  air  of  fashion.  Was  an  entertainment  to  be  given, 
his  taste  was  sure  to  be  displayed.  If  he  appeared  in  the  lists,  he 
always  fixed  the  eyes  of  the  beholders  on  his  strength  and  dexterity. 
I  singled  him  out  from  among  all  the  rest,  and  married  him. 

"  A  few  days  after  our  nuptials,  he  met  Don  Andrew  de  Baesa,  who 
had  been  his  rival,  in  a  private  place.  They  attacked  one  another 
sword  in  hand,  and  Don  Andrew  fell.  As  he  was  nephew  to  the 
corregidor  of  Valladolid,  a  turbulent  man,  violently  incensed  against 
the  house  of  Mello,  Don  Alvar  thought  he  could  not  soon  enough 
make  his  escape.  He  returned  home  speedily,  and  told  me  what 
had  happened  while  his  horse  was  getting  ready.  *  My  dear  Mencia,* 
said  he  at  length,  '  we  must  part.  You  know  the  corregidor ;  let 
us  not  flatter  ourselves :  he  will  hunt  me  even  to  death.  You  are 
unacquainted  with  his  influence ;  this  empire  will  be  too  hot  to  hold 
me.'  He  was  so  penetrated  by  his  own  grief  and  mine,  as  not  to  be 
able  to  articulate  further.  I  made  him  take  some  cash  and  jewels ; 
then  he  folded  me  in  his  arms,  and  we  did  nothing  but  mingle  our 
sighs  and  tears  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour.  In  a  short  time  the  horse 
was  at  the  door.  He  tore  himself  from  me,  and  left  me  in  a  condi- 
tion not  easily  to  be  expressed.  It  had  been  well  if  the  excess  of 
my  affliction  had  destroyed  me!  How  much  pain  and  trouble 
might  I  have  escaped  by  death  !  Some  hours  after  Don  Alvar  had 
gone,  the  corregidor  became  acquainted  with  his  flight.  He  set  up 
a  hue  and  cry  after  him,  sparing  no  pains  to  get  him  into  his  power. 
My  husband,  however,  eluded  his  pursuit,  and  got  into  safe  quar- 
ters; so  that  the  judge,  finding  himself  reduced  to  confine  his 
vengeance  to  the  poor  satisfaction  of  confiscating,  where  he  meant 
to  execute,  labored  to  good  purpose  in  his  vocation.  Don  Alvar'a 
little  property  all  went  to  the  hammer. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  49 

"I  remained  in  a  very  comfortless  situation,  with  scarcely  the 
means  of  subsistence.  A  retired  life  was  best  suited  to  my  circum- 
stances, with  a  single  female  servant.  I  passed  my  hours  in  lament- 
ing, not  an  indigence,  which  I  bore  patiently,  but  the  absence  of  a 
beloved  husband,  of  whom  I  received  no  accounts.  He  had  indeed 
pledged  himself,  in  the  melancholy  moments  of  our  parting,  to  be 
punctual  in  acquainting  me  with  his  destiny,  to  whatever  part  of 
the  world  his  evil  star  might  conduct  him.  And  yet  seven  years 
rolled  on  without  ray  hearing  of  him.  My  suspense  respecting  his 
fate  afflicted  me  most  deeply.  At  last  I  heard  of  his  falling  in 
battle,  under  the  Portuguese  banner,  in  the  kingdom  of  Fez.  A 
man  newly  returned  from  Africa  brought  me  the  account,  with  the 
assurance  that  he  had  been  well  acquainted  with  Don  Alvar  de 
Mello,  had  served  with  him  in  the  army,  and  had  seen  him  drop  in 
the  action.  To  this  narrative  of  facts  he  added  several  collateral 
circumstances,  which  left  me  no  room  to  doubt  of  my  husband's 
premature  death. 

"  About  this  time,  Don  Ambrosio  Mesia  Carrillo,  Marquis  de  la 
Guardia,  arrived  at  Valladolid.  He  was  one  of  those  elderly  noble- 
men, who,  with  that  good  breeding  acquired  by  long  experience  in 
courts,  throw  their  years  into  the  background,  and  retain  the  faculty 
of  making  themselves  agreeable  to  our  sex.  One  day,  he  happened 
by  accident  to  hear  the  story  of  Don  Alvar ;  and  from  the  part  I 
bore  in  it  and  the  description  of  my  person,  there  arose  a  desire  of 
being  better  acquainted.  To  satisfy  his  curiosity,  he  made  interest 
with  one  of  my  relations  to  invite  me  to  her  house.  The  gentleman 
was  one  of  the  party.  This  first  interview  made  not  the  less  im- 
pression on  his  heart  for  the  traces  of  sorrow  which  were  too  obvious 
on  my  countenance.  He  was  touched  by  its  melancholy  and  lan- 
guishing expression,  which  gave  him  a  favorable  forecast  of  my 
constancy.  Respect,  rather  than  any  warmer  sentiment,  might 
perhaps  be  the  inspirer  of  his  wishes ;  for  he  told  me  more  than 
once  what  a  miracle  of  good  faith  he  considered  me,  and  my 
husband's  fate  as  enviable  in  this  respect,  however  lamentable  in 
others.  In  a  word,  he  was  struck  with  me  at  first  sight,  and  did  not 
wait  for  a  review  of  my  pretensions,  but  at  once  took  the  resolution 
of  making  me  his  wife. 

"  The  intervention  of  my  kinswoman  was  adopted  as  the  means  of 
inducing  me  to  accept  his  proposal.  She  paid  me  a  visit ;  and  in 
the  course  of  conversation,  pleaded,  that  as  my  husband  had  sub- 
mitted to  the  decree  of  Providence  in  the  kingdom  of  Fez,  according 
to  very  credible  accounts,  it  was  no  longer  rational  to  coop  up  my 
charms.  I  had  shed  tears  enough  over  the  man  to  whom  I  had  been 
united  but  for  a  few  moments,  as  it  were,  and  I  ought  to  avail  myself 
4 


50  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  the  present  offer,  and  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  step  into  happiness 
at  once.  In  furtherance  of  these  arguments,  she  set  forth  the  old 
marquis's  pedigree,  his  wealth,  and  high  character ;  but  in  vain  did 
her  eloquence  expatiate  on  his  endowments,  for  I  was  not  to  be 
moved.  Not  that  my  mind  misgave  me  respecting  Don  Alvar's 
death,  nor  that  the  apprehension  of  his  sudden  and  unwelcome 
appearance  hereafter  checked  my  inclinations.  My  little  liking, 
or  rather  my  extreme  repugnance  to  a  second  marriage,  after  the 
sad  issue  of  the  first,  was  the  sole  obstacle  opposed  to  my  relation's 
urgency.  Neither  w^as  she  disheartened ;  on  the  contrary,  her  zeal 
for  Don  Ambrosio  resorted  to  endless  stratagems.  All  my  family 
were  pressed  into  the  old  lord's  service.  So  beneficial  a  match  was 
not  to  be  trifled  with  !  They  were  eternally  besetting,  dunning,  and 
tormenting  me.  In  fact,  my  despondency,  which  increased  from 
day  to  day,  contributed  not  a  little  to  my  yielding. 

"  As  there  was  no  getting  rid  of  him,  I  gave  way  to  their  eager 
suit,  and  was  wedded  to  the  Marquis  de  la  Guardia.  The  day  after 
the  nuptials,  we  went  to  a  very  fine  castle  of  his  near  Burgos,  between 
Grajal  and  Eodillas.  He  conceived  a  violent  love  for  me ;  the 
desire  of  pleasing  was  visible  in  all  his  actions,  the  anticipation  of 
my  slenderest  wishes  was  his  earliest  and  latest  study.  No  husband 
ever  regarded  his  wife  more  tenderly,  no  lover  could  pour  forth 
more  devotion  to  his  mistress.  Nor  would  it  have  been  possible 
for  me  to  steel  my  heart  against  a  return  of  passion,  though  our 
ages  were  so  disproportioned,  had  not  every  soft  sentiment  been 
buried  in  Don  Alvar's  grave.  But  the  avenues  of  a  constant  heart 
are  barred  against  a  second  inmate.  The  memory  of  my  first 
husband  threw  a  damp  on  all  the  kind  efforts  of  the  second.  Mere 
gratitude  was  a  cold  retribution  for  such  tenderness;  but  it  was  all 
I  had  to  give. 

"  Such  was  my  temper  of  mind,  when,  taking  the  air  one  day  at  a 
window  in  my  apartment,  I  perceived  a  peasant-looking  man  in  the 
garden,  viewing  me  with  fixed  attention.  He  appeared  to  be  a 
common  laborer.  The  circumstance  soon  passed  out  of  my  thoughts, 
but  the  next  day,  having  again  taken  my  station  at  the  window,  I 
saw  him  on  the  self-same  spot,  and  again  found  myself  the  objectof  his 
eager  gaze.  This  seemed  strange !  I  looked  at  him  in  my  turn,  and, 
after  an  attentive  scrutiny,  thought  I  could  trace  the  features  of  the 
unhappy  Don  Alvar.  This  seeming  visit  from  the  tomb  roused  all 
the  dormant  agony  of  my  soul,  and  extorted  from  me  a  piercing 
scream.  Happily,  I  was  then  alone  with  In^s,  who  of  all  my 
women  engaged  the  largest  share  of  my  confidence.  I  told  her 
what  surmise  had  so  agitated  my  spirits.  She  only  laughed  at  the 
idea,  and  took  it  for  granted  that  a  slight  resemblance  had  imposed  on 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  51 

my  fancy.  '  Take  courage,  madam,'  said  she,  '  and  do  not  be  afraid 
of  seeing  your  jfirst  husband.  What  likelihood  is  there  of  his  being 
here  in  the  disguise  of  a  peasant?  Is  it  even  within  the  reach  of 
credibility  that  he  is  still  alive  ?  However,  I  v/ill  go  down  into  the 
garden  and  talk  with  this  rustic.  I  will  answer  for  finding  out  who 
he  is,  and  will  return  in  all  possible  haste  with  my  intelligence.' 
Ines  ran  on  her  errand  like  a  lapwing;  she  soon  returned  to  my 
apartment  with  a  face  of  mingled  astonishment  and  emotion. 
'  Madam,'  exclaimed  she,  'your  conjecture  is  but  too  well  grounded ; 
it  is  indeed  Don  Alvar  whom  you  have  seen ;  he  made  himself 
known  at  once,  and  pleads  for  a  private  interview.' 

"  As  I  had  the  means  of  admitting  Don  Alvar  instantaneously,  by 
the  absence  of  the  Marquis  at  Burgos,  I  commissioned  my  waiting- 
maid  to  introduce  him  into  my  closet  by  a  private  staircase.  Well 
may  you  imagine  the  hurry  and  agitation  of  my  spirits.  How 
could  I  support  the  presence  of  a  man  who  was  entitled  to  over- 
whelm me  with  reproaches?  I  fainted  at  his  very  footfall  as  he 
entered.  They  were  about  me  in  a  moment — he  as  well  as  lues ; 
and  when  they  had  recovered  me  from  my  swoon,  Don  Alvar  said : 
'  Madam,  for  Heaven's  sake  compose  yourself.  My  presence  shall 
never  be  the  cause  of  pain  to  you ;  nor  would  I  for  the  world  expose 
you  to  the  slightest  anxiety.  I  am  no  savage  husband,  come  to 
account  with  you  for  a  sacred  pledge ;  nor  do  I  impute  to  criminal 
motives  the  second  contract  you  have  formed.  I  am  well  aware 
that  it  was  owing  to  the  importunity  of  your  friends  ;  your  persecu- 
tions from  that  quarter  are  not  unknown  to  me.  Besides,  the  report 
of  my  death  was  current  in  Valladolid  ;  and  you  had  so  much  the 
more  reason  to  give  it  credit,  as  no  letter  from  me  gave  you  any 
assurance  to  the  ccntrary.  In  short,  I  am  no  stranger  to  your 
hcbits  of  life  since  our  cruel  separation,  and  know  that  necessity, 
not  lightness  of  heart,  has  thrown  you  into  the  arms' . .  .  '  Ah  I  sir,' 
interrupted  I  with  sobs,  *  why  will  you  make  excuses  for  your  un- 
worthy wife?  She  is  guilty,  since  you  survive.  Why  am  I  not  still 
in  the  forlorn  state  in  which  I  languished  before  my  marriage  with 
Don  Ambrosio?  Fatal  nuptials!  Alas  I  but  for  these,  I  should 
at  least  have  had  the  consolation  in  my  wretchedness  of  seeing  the 
object  of  my  first  vows  again  without  a  blush.* 

" '  My  dear  Mencia,'  replied  Don  Alvar,  with  a  look  which  marked 
how  deeply  he  was  penetrated  by  my  contrition,  '  I  make  no  com- 
plaint of  you ;  and  far  from  upbraiding  you  with  your  present  pros- 
perity, as  Heaven  is  my  witness,  I  return  it  thanks  for  the  favors  it 
has  showered  on  you.  Since  the  sad  day  of  my  departure  from 
Valladolid,  my  own  fate  has  ever  been  adverse.  My  life  has  been 
but  a  tissue  of  misfortunes,  and,  as  a  surcharge  of  evil  destiny,  I  hud 


62  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

no  means  of  letting  you  hear  from  me.  Too  secure  in  your  aflfec- 
tion,  I  could  neither  think  nor  dream  but  of  the  condition  to  which 
my  fatal  love  might  have  reduced  you.  Donna  Mencia  in  tears 
was  the  lovely,  but  killing  spectre  that  haunted  me;  of  all  my 
miseries,  yo«r  dear  idea  was  the  most  acute.  Sometimes,  I  own,  I 
felt  remorse  for  the  transporting  crime  of  having  pleased  you.  I 
wished  you  had  lent  an  ear  to  the  suit  of  some  happier  rival,  since 
the  preference  with  which  you  had  honored  me  was  to  fall  so 
cruelly  on  your  own  head.  To  cut  short  my  melancholy  tale,  after 
seven  years  of  suffering,  more  enamored  than  ever,  I  determined  to 
see  you  once  again.  The  impulse  was  not  to  be  resisted ;  and  the 
expiration  of  a  long  slavery  having  furnished  me  with  the  power 
of  giving  way  to  it,  I  have  been  at  Valladolid  under  this  disguise 
at  the  hazard  of  a  discovery.  There,  I  learned  the  whole  story.  I 
then  came  to  this  castle,  and  found  the  means  of  admission  into  the 
gardener's  service,  who  has  engaged  me  as  a  laborer.  Such  was  my 
stratagem  to  obtain  this  private  interview.  But  do  not  suppose  me 
capable  of  blasting,  by  my  continuance  here,  the  happiness  of  your 
future  days.  I  love  you  better  than  my  own  life ;  I  have  no  con- 
sideration but  for  your  repose;  and  it  is  my  purpose,  after  thus 
unburdening  ray  heart,  to  finish  in  exile  the  sacrifice  of  an  existence 
which  has  lost  its  value,  since  no  longer  to  be  devoted  to  your  ser- 
vice.' 

"  *  No,  Don  Alvar,  no,'  exclaimed  I  at  these  words ; '  you  shall  never 
quit  me  a  second  time.  I  will  be  the  companion  of  your  wander- 
ings; and  death  only  shall  divide  us  from  this  hour.'  'Take  my 
advice,'  replied  he,  *  live  with  Don  Ambrosio ;  unite  not  yourself  with 
my  miseries,  but  leave  me  to  stand  under  their  undivided  weight.' 
These  and  other  such  entreaties  he  used ;  but  the  more  willing  he 
seemed  to  sacrifice  himself  to  my  welfare,  the  less  did  I  feel  disposed 
to  take  advantage  of  his  generosity.  When  he  saw  me  resolute  in 
my  determination  to  follow  him,  he  all  at  once  changed  his  tone, 
and  assuming  an  aspect  of  more  satisfaction, '  Madam,'  said  he, '  since 
you  love  Don  Alvar  well  enough  to  prefer  adversity  with  him  before 
your  present  ease  and  afiluence,  let  us  then  take  up  our  abode  at 
B6tancos,  in  the  interior  of  Galicia.  There  I  have  a  safe  retreat. 
Tliough  my  misfortunes  may  have  stripped  me  of  all  my  effects, 
they  have  not  alienated  all  my  friends ;  some  are  yet  faithful,  and 
have  furnished  me  with  the  means  of  carrying  you  off.  With  their 
help  I  have  hired  a  carriage  at  Zamora ;  have  bought  mules  and 
horses,  and  am  accompanied  by  perhaps  the  three  boldest  of  the 
Galicians.  They  are  armed  with  carbines  and  pistols,  waiting  my 
orders  et  the  village  of  Eodillas.  Let  us  avail  ourselves  of  Don 
Ambrosio'a  absence.    I  will  send  the  carriage  to  the  castle  gate,  and 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  53 

we  will  set  out  without  loss  of  time.'  I  consented.  Don  Alvar  flew 
towards  Rodillas,  and  shortly  returned  with  his  escort.  My  women, 
from  the  midst  of  whom  I  was  carried  off,  not  knowing  what  to 
think  of  this  violent  proceeding,  made  their  escape  in  great  terror. 
In^s  only  was  in  the  secret ;  but  she  would  not  link  her  fate  with 
mine,  on  account  of  a  love  affair  with  Don  Ambrosio's  favorite  man. 
"  I  got  into  the  carriage,  therefore,  with  Don  Alvar,  taking  nothing 
with  me  but  my  clothes  and  some  jewels  of  my  own  before  my 
second  marriage ;  for  I  could  not  think  of  appropriating  any  pre- 
sents of  the  Marquis.  We  travelled  in  the  direction  of  Galicia, 
without  knowing  if  we  should  be  lucky  enough  to  reach  it.  We 
had  reason  to  fear  Don  Ambrosio's  pursuit  on  his  return,  and  that 
we  should  be  overtaken  by  superior  numbers.  We  went  forward 
for  two  days  without  any  alarm,  and  in  the  hope  of  being  equally 
fortunate  the  third,  had  got  into  a  very  quiet  conversation.  Don 
Alvar  was  relating  the  melancholy  adventure  which  had  occasioned 
the  rumor  of  his  death,  and  how  he  recovered  his  freedom,  after  five 
years  of  slavery,  when  yesterday  we  met  upon  the  Leon  road  the 
banditti  you  were  with.  He  it  is  whom  they  killed,  with  all  hia 
attendants,  and  it  is  for  him  the  tears  flow  which,  you  see  me 
shedding  at  this  moment." 


CHAPTER  XII. 

A  DISAGEEEABLE  INTERBUPTION. 

DONNA  MENCIA  melted  into  tears  as  she  finished  this 
recital.  I  allowed  her  to  give  a  free  passage  to  her  sighs ; 
I  even  wept  myself  for  company,  so  natural  is  it  to  be  interested 
for  the  afflicted,  and  especially  for  a  lovely  female  in  distress. 
I  was  just  going  to  ask  her  what  she  meant  to  do  in  the  present 
conjuncture,  and  possibly  she  was  going  to  consult  me  on  the 
same  subject,  if  our  conversation  had  not  been  interrupted ;  but 
we  heard  a  great  noise  in  the  inn,  which  drew  our  attention  whether 
we  would  or  no.  It  was  no  less  than  the  arrival  of  the  corregidor, 
attended  by  two  alguazils  and  their  marshalmen.  They  came  into 
the  room  where  we  were.  A  young  gentleman  in  their  train  came 
first  up  to  me,  and  began  taking  to  pieces  the  different  articles  of 
my  dress.  He  had  no  occasion  to  examine  them  long.  "  By  St. 
James,"  exclaimed  he,  "  this  is  my  identical  doublet  1    It  is  the  very 


64  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

thing,  and  as  safely  challenged  as  my  horse.  You  niay  commit 
this  spark  on  my  recognizance ;  he  is  one  of  the  gang  who  have  an 
undiscovered  retreat  in  this  country." 

At  this  discourse,  which  gave  me  to  understand  my  accuser  to  be 
the  gentleman  robbed,  whose  spoils,  to  my  confusion,  were  exclusively 
my  own,  I  was  without  a  word  to  say  for  myself,  looking  one  way 
and  the  other,  and  not  knowing  where  to  fix  ray  eyes.  The  corre- 
gidor,  whose  office  was  suspicion,  set  me  down  for  the  culprit ;  and 
presuming  on  the  lady  for  an  accomplice,  ordered  us  into  separate 
custody.  This  magistrate  was  none  of  your  stern  gallows-preaching 
fellows :  he  had  a  jocular,  epigrammatic  sort  of  countenance.  God 
knows  if  his  heart  lay  in  the  right  place  for  all  that  1  As  soon  as  I 
was  committed,  in  came  he  with  his  pack.  They  knew  their  trade, 
and  began  by  searching  me.  What  a  forfeit  to  these  lords  of  the 
manor  1  At  every  handful  of  pistoles,  what  little  eyes  did  I  see 
them  make  I  The  corregidor  was  absolutely  out  of  his  wits  I  It 
was  the  best  stroke  within  the  memory  of  justice  1  "  My  pretty  lad," 
said  his  worship,  with  a  softened  tone,  ''.we  only  do  our  duty,  but  do 
not  you  tremble  for  your  bones  before  the  time ;  you  will  not  be 
broken  on  the  wheel  if  you  do  not  deserve  it."  These  blood-suckers 
were  emptying  my  pockets  all  the  time  with  their  cursed  palaver, 
and  took  from  me  what  their  betters  of  the  shades  below  had  the 
decency  to  leave — my  uncle's  forty  ducats.  They  stuck  at  nothing. 
Their  stanch  fingers,  with  slow  but  certain  scent,  routed  me  out 
from  top  to  toe ;  they  whisked  me  round  and  round,  and  stripped 
me  even  to  the  shame  of  modesty,  for  fear  some  sneaking  portrait  of 
the  king  should  slink  between  my  shirt  and  skin.  When  they 
could  sift  me  no  further,  the  corregidor  thought  it  time  to  begin  his 
examination.  I  told  a  plain  tale.  My  deposition  was  taken  down ; 
and  the  sequel  was,  that  he  carried  in  his  train  his  bloodhounds, 
and  my  little  property,  leaving  me  to  toss  without  a  rag  upon  a 
beggarly  wisp  of  straw. 

"  Oh,  the  miseries  of  human  life  I"  groaned  I,  when  I  found  myself 
in  this  merciless  and  solitary  condition.  Our  adventures  here  are 
whimsical,  and  out  of  all  time  and  tune.  From  my  first  outset 
from  Oviedo,  I  had  got  into  a  pleasant  round  of  difficulties ;  hardly 
had  I  worked  myself  out  of  one  danger,  before  I  soused  into  another. 
Coming  into  town  here,  how  could  I  expect  the  honor  of  the  corre- 
gidor's  acquaintance?  While  thus  communing  with  my  own 
thoughts,  I  got  once  more  into  the  cursed  doublet  and  the  rest  of 
the  paraphernalia  which  had  got  me  into  such  a  scrape;  then  pluck^ 
ing  up  a  little  courage,  "Never  mind,  Gil  Bias,"  thought  I,  "do  not  be 
chicken-hearted.  What  is  a  prison  above  ground,  after  so  brimstone 
a  snuffle  as  thou  hast  had  of  the  regions  below  ?    But,  alas  1 1  halloo 


ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  56 

before  I  am  out  of  the  wood  I  I  am  in  more  experienced  hands 
than  those  of  Leonarda  and  Domingo.  My  key  will  not  open  this 
grate  1  I  might  as  well  say  so,  for  a  prisoner  without  money  is  like 
a  bird  with  its  wings  clipped ;  one  must  be  in  full  feather  to  flutter 
out  of  distance  of  these  jail-birds." 

But  we  left  a  partridge  and  a  young  rabbit  on  the  spit  1  How 
they  got  oif  I  know  not;  but  my  supper  was  a  bit  of  sallow- 
complexioned  bread,  with  a  pitcher  of  water  to  render  it  amenable 
to  mastication  1  and  thus  was  I  destined  to  bite  the  bridle  in  my 
dungeon.  A  fortnight  was  pretty  well  without  seeing  a  soul  but 
my  keeper,  who  had  orders  that  I  should  want  for  nothing  in  the 
bread  and  water  way !  Whenever  be  made  his  appearance,  I  was 
inclined  to  be  sociable,  and  to  parfey  a  little  to  get  rid  of  the  blue 
devils ;  but  this  majestic  minister  was  above  reply,  he  was  mum  I  he 
scarcely  trusted  his  eyes  but  to  see  that  I  did  not  slip  by  him.  On 
the  sixteenth  day,  the  corregidor  strutted  in  to  this  tune,  "  You  are  a 
lucky  fellow !  I  have  news  for  you.  The  lady  is  packed  off  for 
Burgos.  She  came' under  my  examination  before  her  departure, 
and  her  answers  went  to  your  exculpation.  You  wiU  be  at  large 
this  very  day  if  your  carrier  from  Pegnaflor  to  Cacabelos  agrees  in  the 
same  tale.  He  is  now  in  Astorga.  I  have  sent  for  him,  and  expect 
him  here ;  if  he  confirms  the  story  of  the  torture,  you  are  your  own 
master." 

At  these  words  I  was  ready  to  jump  out  of  my  skin  for  joy.  The 
business  was  settled  I  I  thanked  the  magistrate  for  the  abridgment 
of  justice  with  which  he  had  deigned  to  favor  me,  and  was  getting 
to  the  fag  end  of  my  compliment,  when  the  muleteer  arrived,. with 
an  attendant  before  and  behind.  I  knew  the  fellow's  face ;  but  he, 
having  as  a  matter  of  course  sold  my  cloak-bag  with  the  contents, 
from  a  deep-rooted  afiection  to  the  money  which  the  sale  had 
brought,  swore  lustily  that  he  had  no  acquaintance  with  me,  and 
had  never  seen  me  in  the  whole  course  of  his  life.  "Oh,  you 
villain !"  exclaimed  I,  "  go  down  on  your  knees  and  own  that  you  have 
sold  my  clothes.  Prythee,  have  some  regard  to  truth  t  Look  in  my 
face;  am  not  I  one  of  those  shallow  young  fellows  whom  you  had  the 
wit  to  threaten  with  the  rack  in  the  corporate  town  of  Cacabelos?" 
The  muleteer  turned  upon  his  toe,  and  protested  he  had  not  the 
honor  of  my  acquaintance.  As  he  persisted  in  his  disavowal,  I  was 
recommitted  for  further  examination.  Patience  once  morel  It 
was  only  reducing  feasts  and  fasts  to  the  level  of  bread  and  water, 
and  regaling  the  only  sense  I  had  the  means  of  using  with  the  sight 
of  my  tongue-tied  warden.  But  when  I  reflected  how  little  inno- 
cence would  avail  to  extricate  me  from  the  clutches  of  the  law,  the 
thought  was  death ;  I  panted  for  my  subterraneous  paradise.  "  Take  it 


66  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

for  all  in  all,"  said  I,  "there  were  fewer  grievances  than  in  this 
dungeon.  I  was  hail  fellow  well  met  with  the  banditti !  I  bandied 
about  my  jokes  with  the  best  of  them,  and  lived  on  the  sweet  hope 
of  an  escape,  whereas  my  innocence  here  will  only  be  a  passport  to 
the  galleys." 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

THB   LtJCKY  MEANS    BY  WHICH  GIL  BLAS  ESCAPED  FEOM  PRISON,  AND 
HIS  TRAVELS  AFTERWARDS. 

WHILE  I  passed  the  hours  in  tickling  my  fancy  with  my  own 
gay  thoughts,  my  adventures,  word  for  word,  as  I  had  set 
my  hand  to  them,  were  current  about  the  town.  The  people  wanted 
to  make  a  show  of  me  I  One  after  another,  there  they  came, 
peeping  in  at  a  little  window  of  my  prison,  not  too  capacious  of 
daylight ;  and  when  they  had  looked  about  them,  off  they  went ! 
This  raree-show  was  a  novelty.  Since  my  commitment,  there  had 
not  been  a  living  creature  at  that  window,  which  looked  into  a  court 
where  silence  and  horror  kept  guard.  This  gave  me  to  understand 
that  I  was  become  the  town-talk,  and  I  knew  not  whether  to  divine 
good  or  evil  from  the  omen. 

One  of  my  first  visitors  was  the  little  chorister  of  Mondognedo, 
who  had  a  fellow-feeling  with  me  for  the  rack,  and  an  equally  light 
pair  of  heels.  I  knew  him  at  once,  and  he  had  no  qualms  about 
acknowledging  me  as  an  acquaintance.  "We  exchanged  a  kind 
greeting,  then  compared  notes  since  our  separation.  I  was  obliged 
to  relate  my  adventures  in  due  form  and  order.  The  chorister,  on 
his  part,  told  me  what  had  happened  in  the  inn  at  Cacabelos,  be- 
tween the  muleteer  and  the  bride,  after  we  had  taken  to  our  heels  in 
a  panic.  Then,  with  a  friendly  assurance  at  parting,  he  promised  me 
to  leave  no  stone  unturned  for  my  release.  His  companions,  of 
mere  curiosity,  testified  their  pity  for  my  misfortune,  assuring  me 
that  they  would  lend  a  helping  hand  to  the  little  chorister,  and  do 
their  utmost  to  procure  my  freedom. 

They  were  no  worse  than  their  word.  The  corregidor  was  applied 
to  in  my  favor,  who,  no  longer  doubtful  of  my  innocence,  above  all 
when  he  had  heard  the  chorister's  story,  came  three  weeks  after- 
wards into  my  cell  I  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "I  never  stand  shilly-shally- 
ing: begone;  you  are  free;  you  may  take  yourself  off  whenever  you 
please.     But,  tell  me,  if  you  were  carried  into  the  forest,  could  you 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  67 

not  discover  the  subterraneous  retreat  ?"  "  No,  sir,"  replied  I :  "  as  I 
only  entered  in  the  night,  and  made  my  escape  before  daybreak,  it 
would  be  impossible  to  fix  upon  the  spot."  Thereupon  the  magis- 
trate withdrew,  assuring  me  that  the  jailer  should  be  ordered  to 
give  me  free  egress.  In  fact,  the  very  next  moment  the  turnkey 
came  into  my  dungeon,  followed  by  one  of  his  outriding  establish- 
ment, with  a  bundle  of  clothes  under  his  arm.  They  both  of  them 
stripped  me  with  the  utmost  solemnity,  and  without  uttering  a 
single  syllable,  of  my  doublet  and  breeches,  which  had  the  honor  to 
be  made  of  a  bettermost  cloth  almost  new;  then,  having  rigged  me 
in  an  old  frock,  they  shoved  me  out  of  their  hospitable  mansion  by 
the  shoulders. 

The  state  I  was  in  to  see  myself  so  ill  equipped,  acted  as  a  cooler 
to  the  usual  transport  of  prisoners  at  recovering  their  liberty.  I 
was  tempted  to  escape  from  the  town  without  delay,  that  I  might 
withdraw  from  the  gaze  of  the  people,  whose  prying  eyes  I  could 
not  encounter  but  with  pain.  My  gratitude,  however,  got  the  better 
of  my  diffidence.  I  went  to  thank  the  little  chorister,  to  whom  I 
was  so  much  obliged.  He  could  not  help  chuckling  when  he  saw 
me.  "  That  is  your  trim,  is  it  ?"  said  he.  "  As  far  as  I  see,  you  cannot 
complain  that  your  case  has  not  been  sifted  to  the  bottom."  "  I  have 
nothing  to  say  against  the  laws  of  my  country,"  replied  I ;  "they  are 
as  just  as  need  be.  I  only  wish  their  officers  would  take  after  them. 
They  might  have  spared  me  my  suit  of  clothes !  I  have  paid  for 
them  over  and  over  again."  "  I  am  quite  of  your  mind,'''  rejoined  he ; 
"but  they  would  tell  you  that  these  are  little  formalities  of  old 
standing,  which  cannot  be  dispensed  with.  What  1  are  you  foolish 
enough  to  suppose,  for  instance,  that  your  horse  has  been  restored 
to  its  right  owner  ?  Not  a  word  of  it,  if  you  please :  the  beast  is  at 
this  present  in  the  stables  of  the  register,  where  it  has  been  im- 
pounded as  a  witness  to  be  brought  into  court;  if  the  poor  gentle- 
man comes  oiF  with  the  crupper,  he  will  be  so  much  in  pocket. 
But  let  us  change  the  subject.  What  is  your  plan?  What  do  you 
mean  to  do  with  yourself?"  "  I  have  an  inclination,"  said  I,  "  to  take 
the  road  for  Burgos.  I  may  light  on  my  rescued  lady ;  she  will  give 
me  a  little  ready  cash,  I  shall  then  buy  a  new  short  cassock,  and 
betake  myself  to  Salamanca,  where  I  shall  see  what  I  can  make  of 
my  Latin.  All  my  trouble  is,  how  to  get  to  Burgos :  one  must  live 
on  the  road."  "  I  understand  you,"  replied  he.  "Take  my  purse:  it  is 
rather  thinly  lined,  to  be  sure  ;.but  you  know  a  chorister's  dividends 
are  not  like  a  bishop's."  At  the  same  time  he  drew  it  from  his  pouch, 
and  inserted  it  between  my  hands  with  so  good  a  grace,  that  I  could 
not  do  otherwise  than  accept  it,  for  want  of  a  better.  I  thanked 
him  as  though  he  had  made  me  a  present  of  a  gold  mine,  and  ten- 


58  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

dered  him  a  thousand  promises  of  recompense,  to  be  duly  honored 
and  punctually  paid  at  doomsday.  With  this  I  left  him,  and 
skulked  out  of  town,  not  paying  my  respects  to  my  other  benefac- 
tors ;  but  giving  them  a  thousand  blessings  from  my  heart. 

The  little  chorister  had  reason  for  speaking  modestly  of  his  purse ; 
it  was  not  orthodox.  By  good  luck,  I  had  been  used  for  these  two 
months  to  a  very  slender  diet,  and  had  still  a  little  small  change 
left  when  I  reached  Ponte  de  Mula,  not  far  from  Burgos.  I  halted 
there  to  inquire  after  Donna  Mencia.  The  hostess  of  the  inn  I  put 
up  at  was  a  little  withered,  spiteful,  emaciated  bit  of  mortality.  I 
saw  at  a  glance,  by  the  mouths  she  made  at  me  aside,  that  my  frock 
did  not  hit  her  fancy ;  and  I  thought  it  a  proof  of  her  taste.  So  I 
sat  myself  down  at  a  table,  ate  bread  and  cheese,  and  drank  a  few 
glasses  of  execrable  wine,  such  as  innkeepers  technically  call  casse- 
coquin.  During  this  meal,  which  was  of  a  piece  with  the  outward 
appearance  of  the  guest,  I  did  my  utmost  to  come  to  closer  quarters 
with  my  landlady.  Did  she  know  the  Marquis  de  la  Guardia? 
Was  his  castle  far  out  of  town  ?  Above  all,  what  was  become  of  my 
lady  marchioness  ?  "  You  ask  many  questions  in  a  breath,"  replied 
she,  bridling  with  disdain.  But  I  got  out  of  her,  though  by  hard 
pumping,  that  Don  Ambrosio's  castle  was  but  a  short  league  from 
Ponte  de  Mula. 

After  I  had  done  eating  and  drinking,  as  it  was  night,  I  thought 
it  natural  to  go  to  bed,  and  asked  for  my  room.  "  A  room  for  you  1" 
shrieked  my  landlady,  darting  at  me  a  glance  of  contempt  and 
pride ;  "  I  have  no  rooms  for  fellows  who  make  their  supper  on  a  bit 
of  cheese.  All  my  beds  are  bespoke.  There  are  people  of  fashion 
expected,  and  our  accommodations  are  all  kept  for  them.  But  I 
will  not  be  unchristian :  you  may  lie  in  my  barn ;  I  suppose  your 
soft  skin  will  not  be  incommoded  by  the  feel  of  straw."  She  spoke 
truth  without  knowing  it.  I  took  it  all  in  silence,  and  slunk  to  my 
roosting-place,  where  I  fell  asleep  like  a  man  the  excess  of  whose 
labors  are  his  ready  passport  to  the  blessings  of  repose. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  59 

CHAPTER   XIV. 

DONNA  MENCIA'S  RECEPTION  OF  HIM  AT  BXTKGOS. 

I  WAS  no  sluggard,  but  got  up  the  next  morning  betimes.  I 
paid  my  bill  to  the  landlady,  who  was  already  stirring,  and 
seemed  a  little  less  lofty  and  in  better  humor  than  the  evening 
before — ^a  circumstance  I  attributed  to  the  endeavors  of  three  kind 
guardsmen  belonging  to  the  holy  brotherhood.  These  gentlemen 
had  slept  in  the  inn :  they  were  evidently  on  a  very  intimate  foot- 
ing with  the  hostess,  and  doubtless  it  was  for  guests  of  such  note 
that  all  the  beds  were  bespoke. 

I  inquired  in  the  town  my  way  to  the  castle  where  I  wanted  to 
present  myself.  By  accident  I  made  up  to  a  man  not  unlike  my 
landlord  at  Pegnaflor.  He  was  not  satisfied  with  answering  my 
question  to  the  point,  but  informed  me  that  Don  Ambrosio  had 
been  dead  three  weeks,  and  the  marchioness  his  lady  had  taken  the 
resolution  of  retiring  to  a  convent  at  Burgos,  which  he  named.  I 
proceeded  immediately  towards  that  town,  instead  of  taking  the 
road  to  the  castle,  as  I  had  at  first  meant  to  do,  and  flew  at  once  to 
the  place  of  Donna  Mencia's  retreat.  I  besought  the  attendant  at 
the  turning-box  to  tell  that  lady  that  a  young  man  just  discharged 
from  prison  at  Astorga  wanted  to  speak  with  her.  The  nun  went 
on  the  message  immediately.  On  her  return,  she  showed  me  into  a 
parlor,  where  I  did  not  wait  long  before  Don  Ambrosio's  widow  ap- 
peared at  the  grate  in  deep  mourning. 

"  You  are  welcome,"  said  the  lady.  "  Four  days  ago  I  wrote  to  a 
person  at  Astorga,  to  pay  you  a  visit  as  from  me,  and  to  tell  you  to 
come  and  see  me  the  moment  you  were  released  from  prison.  I  had 
no  doubt  of  your  being  discharged  shortly :  what  I  told  the  corre- 
gidor  in  your  exculpation  was  enough  for  that.  An  answer  waa 
brought  that  you  had  been  set  at  liberty,  but  that  no  one  knew  what 
was  become  of  you.  I  was  afraid  of  not  seeing  you  any  more,  and 
losing  the  pleasure  of  expressing  my  gratitude.  Never  miud,"  added 
she,  observing  my  confusion  at  making  my  appearance  in  so 
wretched  a  garb ;  "  your  dress  is  of  very  little  consequence.  After 
the  important  services  you  have  rendered  me,  I  should  be  the  most 
ungrateful  of  my  sex  if  I  were  to  do  nothing  for  you  in  return.  I 
undertake,  therefore,  to  better  your  condition :  it  is  my  duty,  and 
the  means  are  in  my  power.  My  fortune  is  large  enough  to  pay  my 
debt  of  obligation  to  you,  without  inconvenience  to  myself. 

"  You  know,"  continued  she,  "  my  story  up  to  the  time  when  we  both 
were  (Jomraitted  to  prison.    I  will  now  tell  you  what  has  happened 


60  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

to  me  since.  When  the  corregidor  at  Astorga  had  sent  me  to 
Burgos,  after  having  heard  from  my  own  lips  a  faithful  recital  of 
my  adventures,  I  presented  myself  at  the  castle  of  Ambrosio.  My 
return  thither  excited  extreme  surprise :  but  they  told  me  that  it 
was  too  late ;  the  marquis,  as  if  he  had  been  thunderstruck  at  my 
flight,  fell  sick;  and  the  physicians  despaired  of  his  recovery. 
Here  was  a  new  incident  in  the  melancholy  tragedy  of  my  fate. 
Yet  I  ordered  my  arrival  to  be  announced.  The  next  moment  I 
ran  into  his  chamber,  and  threw  myself  on  my  knees  by  his  bedside, 
with  a  face  running  down  with  tears  and  a  heart  oppressed  with 
the  most  lively  sorrow.  '  Who  sent  for  you  hither?'  said  he  as  soon 
as  he  saw  me ;  *  are  you  come  to  contemplate  your  own  contrivance  ? 
Was  it  not  enough  to  have  deprived  me  of  life  ?  But  was  it  neces- 
sary to  satisty  your  heart's  desire  to  be  an  eye-witness  of  my  death?' 
'  My  lord,'  replied  I,  '  Ines  must  have  told  you  that  I  fled  with  my 
first  husband ;  and,  had  it  not  been  for  the  sad  accident  which  has 
taken  him  from  me  forever,  you  never  would  have  seen  me  more.' 
At  the  same  time  I  acquainted  him  that  Don  Alvar  had  been  killed 
by  banditti,  whose  captive  I  had  consequently  been  in  a  subter- 
raneous dungeon.  After  relating  the  particulars  of  my  story  to  the 
end,  Don  Ambrosio  held  out  to  me  his  hand.  '  It  is  enough,'  said  he, 
affectionately :  '  I  will  make  no  more  complaints.  Alas !  Have  I 
in  fact  any  right  to  reproach  you?  You  were  thrown  once  more  in 
the  way  of  a  beloved  husband,  and  gave  me  up  to  follow  his  for- 
tunes; can  I  blame  such  an  instance  of  your  affection?  No, 
madam,  it  would  have  been  vain  to  resist  the  will  of  fate.  For 
that  reason  I  gave  orders  not  to  pursue  you.  In  my  rival  himself 
I  could  not  but  respect  the  sacred  rights  with  which  he  was  invested, 
and  even  the  impulse  of  your  flight  seemed  to  have  been  communi- 
cated by  some  superior  power.  To  close  all  with  an  act  of  justice, 
and  in  the  spirit  of  reconciliation,  your  return  hither  has  reestab- 
lished you  completely  in  my  affection.  Yes,  my  dear  Mencia,  your 
presence  fills  me  with  joy  ;  but,  alas  !  I  shall  not  long  be  sensible  to 
it.  I  feel  my  last  hour  to  be  at  hand.  No  sooner  are  you  restored 
to  me,  than  I  must  bid  you  an  eternal  farewell.'  At  these  touching 
expressions,  my  tears  flowed  in  torrents.  I  felt  and  expressed  as 
much  affliction  as  the  human  heart  is  capable  of  containing.  I 
question  whether  Don  Alvar's  death,  doting  on  him  as  I  did,  had 
cost  me  more  bitter  lamentations.  Don  Ambrosio  had  given  way 
to  no  mistaken  presage  of  his  death,  which  happened  on  the  follow- 
ing day ;  and  I  remained  mistress  of  a  considerable  jointure,  settled 
on  me  at  our  marriage.  But  I  shall  take  care  to  make  no  unworthy 
use  of  it.  The  world  shall  not  see  me,  young  as  I  still  am,  wanton- 
ing in  the  arms  of  a  third  husband.    Besides  that  such  levity  seems 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  61 

irreconcilable  with  the  feelings  of  any  but  the  profligate  of  our  sex, 
I  will  frankly  own  the  relish  of  life  to  be  extinct  in  me ;  so  that  I 
mean  to  end  my  days  in  this  convent,  and  to  become  a  benefactress 
to  it." 

Such  was  Donna  Mencia's  discourse  about  her  future  plans.  She 
then  drew  a  purse  from  beneath  her  robe,  and  put  it  into  my  hands, 
with  this  address :  "  Here  are  a  hundred  ducats  simply  to  furnish  out 
your  wardrobe.  That  done,  come  and  see  me  again,  I  mean  not 
to  confine  my  gratitude  within  such  narrow  bounds."  I  returned 
her  a  thousand  thanks,  and  promised  solemnly  not  to  quit  Burgos 
without  taking  leave  of  her.  Having  given  this  pledge,  which  I 
had  every  inclination  to  redeem,  I  went  to  look  out  for  some  house 
of  entertainment.  Entering  the  first  I  met  with,  I  asked  for  a  room. 
To  parry  the  ill  opinion  my  frock  might  convey  of  my  finances,  I 
told  the  landlord  that,  however  appearances  might  be  against  me, 
I  could  pay  for  my  night's  lodging  as  well  as  a  better  dressed 
gentleman.  At  th^s  speech,  the  landlord,  whose  name  was  Majuelo, 
a  great  banterer  in  a  coarse  way,  running  over  me  with  his  eyes 
from  top  to  toe,  answered,  with  a  cool,  sarcastic  grin,  that  there  was 
no  need  of  any  such  assurance ;  it  was  evident  I  should  pay  my  way 
liberally,  for  he  discovered  something  of  nobility  through  my  dis- 
guise, and  had  no  doubt  but  I  was  a  gentleman  in  very  easy  circum- 
stances. I  saw  plainly  that  the  rascal  was  laughing  at  me;  and  to 
stop  his  humor  before  it  became  too  convulsive,  gave  him  a  little 
insight  into  the  state  of  my  purse.  I  went  so  far  as  to  count  over 
my  ducats  on  a  table  before  him,  and  perceived  my  coin  to  have 
inclined  him  to  a  more  respectful  judgment.  I  begged  the  favor  of 
him  to  send  for  a  tailor.  "  A  broker  would  be  better,"  said  he  ;  "  he 
will  bring  all  sorts  of  apparel,  and  you  will  be  dressed  up  out  of 
hand."  I  approved  of  this  advice,  and  determined  to  follow  it ;  but, 
as  the  day  was  on  the  point  of  closing,  I  put  off  my  purchase  till  the 
morrow,  and  thought  only  of  getting  a  good  supper,  to  make  me 
amends  for  the  miserable  fare  I  had  taken  up  with  since  my  escape 
iiom  the  forest. 


62  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER   XV. 

GIL  BLAS  DEESSES  HIMSELF  TO  MORE  ADVANTAGE,  AND  RECEIVES  A 
SECOND  PRESENT  KROM  THE  LADY.  HIS  EQUIPAGE  ON  SETTING  OUT 
FROM  BURGOS. 

THEY  served  me  up  a  plentiful  fricassee  of  sheep's  trotters, 
almost  the  whole  of  which  I  demolished.  My  drinking  kept 
pace  with  my  eating;  and  when  I  could  stuff  no  longer,  I  went 
to  bed.  I  lay  comfortably  enough,  and  was  in  hopes  that  a 
sound  sleep  would  have  the  kindness  without  delay  to  commit  a 
friendly  invasion  on  my  senses.  But  I  could  not  close  an  eye,  for 
ruminating  on  the  dress  I  should  choose.  "  What  shall  I  do,"  thought 
I  ?  "  Shall  I  follow  my  first  plan  ?  Shall  I  buy  a  short  cassock,  and 
go  to  Salamanca  to  set  up  for  a  tutor?  Why  should  I  adopt  the 
costume  of  a  licentiate?  For  the  purpose  of  going  into  orders? 
Do  I  feel  an  inward  call  ?  No.  If  I  have  any  call,  it  is  quite  the 
contrary  way.  I  had  rather  wear  a  sword  than  an  apron,  and  push 
my  fortune  in  this  world  before  I  think  of  the  next." 

I  made  up  my  mind  to  take  on  myself  the  appearance  of  a  gentle- 
man. Waiting  for  the  day  with  the  greatest  impatience,  its  first 
dawn  no  sooner  greeted  my  eyes,  than  I  got  up.  I-  made  such  an 
uproar  in  the  inn,  as  to  wake  the  most  inveterate  sleeper,  and  called 
the  servants  out  of  bed,  who  returned  my  salute  with  a  volley  of 
curses.  But  they  found  themselves  under  a  necessity  of  stirring, 
and  I  let  them  have  no  rest  till  they  had  sent  for  a  broker.  The 
gentleman  soon  made  his  appearance,  followed  by  two  lads,  each 
lugging  in  a  great  bundle  of  green  cloth.  He  accosted  me  very 
civilly,  to  the  following  effect :  "  Honored  sir,  you  are  a  happy  man 
to  have  been  recommended  to  me  rather  than  any  one  else.  I  do 
not  mean  to  give  my  brethren  an  ill  word ;  God  forbid  I  should 
offer  the  slightest  injury  to  their  reputation  I  They  have  none  to 
spare.  But,  between  ourselves,  there  is  not  one  of  them  that  has 
any  bowels ;  they  are  more  extortionate  than  the  Israelites.  There 
is  not  a  broker  but  myself  that  has  any  moral  sense.  I  keep  within 
the  bounds  of  a  reasonable  profit.  I  am  satisfied  with  a  pound  in 
the  penny ; — no,  no ! — that  is  wrong — with  a  penny  in  the  pound. 
Thanks  to  Heaven,  I  get  forward  fairly  and  softly  in  the  world." 

The  broker,  after  this  preface,  which  I,  like  a  fool,  took  for 
chapter  and  verse,  told  his  journeymen  to  undo  their  bundles. 
They  showed  me  suits  of  every  color  in  the  rainbow,  and  exposed  to 
sale  a  great  choice  of  plain  cloths.  These  I  threw  aside  with  con- 
tempt, as  thinking  them  too  undressed ;  but  they  made  me  try  on 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  63 

one  which  fitted  me  as  well  as  if  I  had  been  measured  for  it,  and 
just  hit  my  fancy,  though  it  was  a  little  the  worse  for  wear.  It  was 
a  doublet  with  slashed  sleeves,  with  breeches  and  a  cloak,  the  whole 
of  blue  velvet  with  gold  embroidery.  I  felt  a  little  hankering  after 
this  particular  article,  and  attempted  to  beat  down  the  price.  The 
broker,  who  saw  my  inclination,  told  me  I  had  a  very  correct  taste. 
"  By  all  that  is  sacred  I"  exclaimed  he,  "  it  is  plain  you  are  no  younker. 
Take  this  with  you  I  That  dress  was  made  for  one  of  the  first 
nobility  in  the  kingdom,  and  has  not  been  on  his  back  three  times. 
Look  at  the  velvet ;  feel  it ;  nothing  can  be  richer  or  of  a  better 
color ;  and  for  the  embroidery,  come,  now  1  tell  truth  ;  did  -you  ever 
see  belter  workmanship  ?"  "  What  is  the  price  of  it  ?"  said  I.  "  Only 
sixty  ducats,"  replied  he.  "  I  have  refused  the  money,  or  else  I  am  a 
liar."  The  alternative  could  not  fail  in  one  proposition  or  the 
other.  I  bid  five-and-forty ;  two  or  three-and-twenty  would  have 
been  nearer  the  mark.  "  My  worthy  master,"  said  the  broker,  coolly, 
"  I  never  ask  too  much.  I  have  but  one  price.  But  here,"  added  he, 
holding  up  the  suits  I  had  thrown  aside;  "  take  these ;  I  can  afibrd  to 
sell  them  a  better  bargain,"  All  this  only  inflamed  my  eagerness  to 
buy  what  I  was  cheapening;  and  as  I  had  no  idea  that  he  would 
have  made  any  abatement,  I  paid  him  down  sixty  ducats.  When 
he  saw  how  easily  a  fool  and  his  money  are  parted,  I  verily  believe 
that,  in  spite  of  the  moral  sense,  he  heartily  repented  not  having 
taken  a  hint  from  the  extortionate  Israelite.  But  reconciling  him- 
self as  well  as  he  could  to  the  small  profit,  to  which  he  professed  to 
confine  himself,  of  a  pound  upon  a  penny,  he  retreated  with  his 
journeymen.  I  was  not  suffered  to  forget  that  they  muot  have 
something  for  their  trouble. 

I  had  now  a  cloak,  a  doublet,  and  a  very  decent  pair  of  breeches. 
The  rest  of  my  wardrobe  was  to  be  thought  off,  and  this  took  up  the 
whole  morning.  I  bought  some  linen,  a  hat,  silk  stockings,  shoes, 
and  a  sword ;  and  concluded  by  putting  on  my  purchases.  What 
pleasure  was  it  to  see  myself  so  well  accoutred!  My  eyes  were 
never  cloyed,  as  it  were, with  the  richness  of  my  attire.  Never  did 
peacock  look  at  his  own  plumage  with  less  philosophy.  On  that 
very  day,  I  paid  a  second  visit  to  Donna  Mencia,  who  received  me 
with  her  usual  affability.  She  thanked  me  over  again  for  the  service 
I  had  rendered  her.  On  that  subject  rapid  was  the  interchange  ot 
compliments.  Then,  wishing  every  kind  of  success,  she  bade  me 
farewell,  and  withdrew,  without  giving  me  anything  but  a  ring 
worth  thirty  pistoles,  which  she  begged  me  to  keep  as  a  remem- 
brance, 

I  looked  very  foolish  with  my  ring !  I  had  reckoned  on  a  much 
more  considerable  present.    Thus,  little  satisfied  with  the  lady's 


64  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

bounty,  I  measured  back  my  steps  in  a  very  musing  attitude ;  but 
as  I  entered  the  inn  door,  a  man  overtook  me,  and  throwing  ofl"  his 
wrapping  cloak,  discovered  a  large  bag  under  his  arm.  At  the 
vision  of  the  bag,  apparently  full  of  current  coin,  I  stood  gaping,  as 
did  most  of  the  company  present.  The  voice  of  angel  or  archangel 
could  not  have  been  sweeter  than  when  this  messenger  of  earthly 
dross,  laying  the  bag  upon  the  table,  said :  "  Signor  Gil  Bias,  the 
lady  marchioness  desires  her  compliments."  I  bowed  the  bearer 
out,  with  an  accumulation  of  fine  speeches;  as  soon  as  his  back 
was  turned,  I  pounced  upon  the  bag,  like  a  hawk  upon  its  quarry, 
and  bore  it  between  my  talons  to  my  chamber.  I  untiexl  it  without 
loss  of  time,  and  the  contents  were — a  thousand  ducats  1  The  land- 
lord, who  had  overheard  the  bearer,  came  in,  just  as  I  had  done 
counting  them,  to  know  what  was  in  the  bag.  The  sight  of  my 
riches  displayed  upon  a  table  struck  him  in  a  very  forcible  manner. 
"  What  the  devil  1  here  is  a  sum  of  money  I  So,  so !  you  are  the  man !" 
pursued  he,  with  a  waggish  sort  of  leer ;  "  you  know  how  to — tickle 
the — fancies  of  the  ladies  I  Four-and-twenty  hours  only  have  you 
been  in  Burgos,  and  marchionesses,  I  warrant  you,  have  surrendered 
at  the  first  summons  I" 

This  discourse  was  not  so  much  amiss.  I  was  half  inclined  to 
leave  Majuelo  in  his  error,  for  it  flattered  my  vanity.  I  do  not 
wonder  young  fellows  are  fond  of  passing  for  men  of  gallantry. 
But  as  yet  the  purity  of  my  morals  was  proof  against  the  sugges- 
tions of  my  pride.  I  undeceived  my  landlord,  by  telling  him  Donna 
Mencia's  story,  to  which  he  listened  very  attentively.  Afterwards 
I  let  him  into  the  state  of  my  affairs,  and,  as  he  seemed  to  take  an 
interest  in  them,  besought  him  to  assist  me  with  his  advice.  He 
ruminated  for  some  time ;  then  said,  with  a  serious  air:  "Master  Gil 
Bias,  I  have  taken  a  liking  to  you ;  and  since  you  are  candid 
enough  to  open  your  heart  to  me,  I  will  tell  you  sincerely  what  I 
think  would  suit  you  best.  You  were  evidently  born  for  a  court 
life ;  I  recommend  you  to  go  thither,  and  to  get  about  the  person  of 
some  considerable  nobleman.  But  make  a  point  either  of  getting 
at  his  secrets  or  administering  to  his  pleasures ;  unless  you  do  that, 
it  will  be  all  lost  time  in  his  family.  I  know  the  great;  they 
reAon  nothing  upon  the  zeal  and  attachment  of  a  real  friend,  but 
only  care  for  pimping  sycophants.  You  have,  besides,  another 
string  to  your  bow.  You  are  young,  with  an  attractive  person ; 
parts  out  of  the  question,  for  they  are  not  at  all  times  necessary,  it 
is  hard  if  you  cannot  turn  the  head  of  some  rich  widow,  or  hand- 
some wife  with  a  broomstick  for  her  husband.  Love  may  ruin  men 
of  fortune,  but  it  makes  amends  by  feathering  the  nests  of  those 
who  have  none.    My  vote,  therefore,  is  for  Madrid ;  but  you  must 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  65 

not  make  your  appearance  there  without  an  establishment.  There, 
as  elsewhere,  people  judge  by  the  outside ;  and  you  will  only  be 
respected  according  to  the  figure  you  make,  I  will  find  you  a 
servant,  a  tried  domestic,  a  prudent  lad ;  in  a  word,  a  fellow  of  my 
own  creation.  Buy  a  couple  of  mules  j  one  for  yourself,  the  other 
for  him,  and  set  off  as  fast  as  you  can." 

This  counsel  was  too  palatable  to  be  refused.  On  the  day  follow- 
ing, I  purchased  two  fine  mules,  and  bargained  with  my  new 
servant.  He  was  a  young  man  of  thirty,  of  a  very  simple  and  godly 
appearance.  He  told  me  he  was  a  native  of  Galicia,  by  name  Am- 
brose de  Lamela.  Other  servants  are  selfish,  and  think  they  can 
never  have  wages  enough.  This  fellow  assured  me  he  was  a  man  of 
few  wants,  and  should  be  contented  with  whatever  I  had  the  good- 
ness to  give  him.  I  bought  a  pair  of  boots,  with  a  portmanteau  to 
lock  up  my  linen  and  my  money.  Having  settled  with  my  landlord, 
I  set  out  from  Burgos  the  next  morning  before  sunrise,  on  my  way 
to  Madrid. 


CHAPTER    XVI. 

SHOWING  THAT  PEOSPEBITY  WILL  SLIP  THEOUGH  A  MAN'S  FINGEBS. 

WE  slept  at  Duengnas  the  first  night,  and  reached  Valladolid 
on  the  following  day,  about  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon. 
We  alighted  at  the  inn  of  the  most  respectable  appearance  in 
the  town.  I  left  the  care  of  the  mules  to  my  fellow,  and  went 
up  to  a  room,  whither  I  ordered  my  portmanteau  to  be  carried  by  a 
waiter.  As  I  felt  a  little  weary,  I  threw  myself  on  a  couch  in  my 
boots,  and  fell  asleep  involuntarily.  It  was  almost  night  when  I 
awoke.  I  called  for  Ambrose.  He  was  not  to  be  found  in  the 
house,  but  made  his  appearance  in  a  short  time.  I  asked  him 
where  he  had  been  ;  he  answered  in  his  godly  way  that  he  was  just 
come  from  church,  whither  he  went  for  the  purpose  of  thanksgiving, 
by  reason  that  we  had  been  graciously  preserved  from  all  perils  and 
dangers  between  Burgos  and  Valladolid.  I  commended  his  piety, 
and  ordered  a  chicken  to  be  roasted  for  supper. 

At  the  moment  when  I  was  giving  this  order,  my  landlord  came 
into  my  room  with  a  light  in  his  hand.  That  cursed  candle  served 
to  introduce  a  lady,  handsome  but  not  young,  and  very  richly  at- 
tired. She  leaned  upon  an  usher,  none  of  the  youngest,  and  a  little 
blackamoor  was  her  train-bearer.  I  was  under  no  small  surprise 
5 


66  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

when  this  fair  incognita,  with  a  profound  obeisance,  begged  to  know 
if  my  name  might  happen  to  be  Signer  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane?  I 
had  no  sooner  blundered  out  yes,  than  she  released  her  sweet  hand 
from  the  custody  of  theusher,  and  embraced  me  with  a  transport  of  joy, 
of  which  I  knew  less  and  less  what  to  make.  "  Heaven  be  praised," 
cried  she,  "  for  all  its  mercies !  You  are  he,  noble  sir,  the  very  man 
of  whom  I  was  in  quest."  By  this  introduction,  I  was  reminded  of 
my  friend  the  parasite  at  Pegnaflor,  and  was  on  the  point  of  suspect- 
ing the  lady  to  be  no  better  than  an  honest  woman  should  be  :  but 
her  finale  gave  me  a  much  higher  opinion  of  her.  "  I  am,"  continued 
she,  "  first  cousin  to  Donna  Mencia  de  Mosqucra,  whom  you  have  so 
greatly  befriended.  It  was  but  this  morning  I  received  a  letter 
from  her.  She  writes  me  word  that  having  learned  your  intention 
of  going  to  Madrid,  she  wished  me  to  receive  you  hospitably  on 
your  journey,  if  you  went  this  way.  For  these  two  hours  have  I 
been  parading  the  town.  From  inn  to  inn  have  I  gone  to  inform 
myself  what  strangers  were  in  the  house ;  and  I  gathered  from  the 
landlord's  description  that  you  were  most  likely  to  have  been  my 
cousin's  deliverer.  Since,  then,  I  have  found  you  out,  you  shall 
know  by  experience  my  gratitude  to  the  friends  of  my  family,  and 
especially  to  my  dear  cousin's  hero.  You  will  take  up  your  abode, 
if  you  please,  at  my  house.  Your  accommodations  will  be  better." 
I  wished  to  excuse  myself,  and  told  the  lady  that  I  could  not  be  so 
troublesome ;  but  her  importunities  were  more  than  a  match  for  ray 
modesty.  A  carriage  was  waiting  at  the  door  of  the  inn  to  convey 
us.  She  saw  my  portmanteau  taken  care  of  with  her  own  eyes,  be- 
cause, as  she  justly  observed,  there  were  a  great  many  light-fingered 
gentry  about  Valladolid — to  be  sure  there  were  a  great  many  light- 
fingered  gentry  about  Valladolid,  as  she  justly  observed !  In  short, 
I  got  into  the  carriage  with  her  and  the  old  usher,  and  suffered  my- 
self to  be  carried  off  bodily  from  the  inn,  to  the  great  annoyance  of 
the  landlord,  who  saw  himself  thus  weaned  from  all  the  little  per- 
quisites he  had  reckoned  on  from  my  abode  under  his  roof. 

Our  carriage,  having  rolled  on  some  distance,  stopped.  We 
alighted  at  the  door  of  a  handsome  house,  and  went  up  stairs  into 
a  well-furnished  apartment,  illuminated  by  twenty  or  thirty  wax 
candles.  Several  servants  were  in  waiting,  of  whom  the  lady  in- 
quired whether  Don  Raphael  was  come.  They  answered,  no.  She 
then  addressed  herself  to  me :  "  Signer  Gil  Bias,  I  am  waiting  for  my 
brother's  return  from  a  country  seat  of  ours,  about  two  leagues  dis- 
tant. What  an  agreeable  surprise  will  it  be  to  him  to  find  a  man 
under  his  roof  to  whom  our  family  is  so  much  indebted !"  At  the 
very  moment  she  had  finished  this  pretty  speech,  we  heard  a  noise, 
and  were  informed  at  the  same  time  that  it  was  occasioned  by  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  67 

arrival  of  Don  Raphael.  This  spark  soon  made  his  appearance. 
He  was  a  young  man  of  portly  figure  and  genteel  manners.  "  I  am 
in  ecstasy  to  see  you  back  again,  brother,"  said  the  lady ;  "  you  will 
assist  me  in  doing  the  honors  to  Signor  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane.  We 
can  never  do  enough  to  show  our  sense  of  his  kindness  to  our  kins- 
woman, Donna  Mencia.  Here,  read  this  letter  I  have  just  received." 
Don  Raphael  opened  the  envelope,  and  read  aloud  as  follows : — 

"My  Dear  Camilla :— Signor  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane,  the 
saviour  of  my  honor  and  my  life,  has  just  set  out  for  court.  He 
will  of  course  pass  through  Valladolid.  I  conjure  you  by  our  family 
connection,  and  still  more  by  our  indissoluble  friendship,  to  give 
him  a  hospitable  reception,  and  to  detain  him  for  some  time  as  your 
guest.  I  flatter  myself  that  you  will  so  far  oblige  me,  and  that  my 
deliverer  will  receive  every  kind  of  polite  attention  from  yourself, 
and  my  cousin  Don  Raphael. 

"  Your  affectionate  cousin, 

"Burgos"-  "  DoNNA  Mencia. 

"What  I"  cried  Don  Raphael,  casting  his  eyes  again  over  the  letter, 
"  is  it  to  this  gentleman  my  kinswoman  owes  her  honor  and  her  life? 
Then  Heaven  be  praised  for  this  happy  meeting."  With  this  sort  of 
language,  he  advanced  towards  me;  and  squeezing  me  tightly  in 
his  arms :  "  What  joy  to  me  is  it,"  added  he,  "  to  have  the  honor  of  see- 
ing Signor  Gil  Bias  of  Santillane  ?  My  cousin  the  marchioness  had 
no  need  to  press  the  hospitality.  Had  she  only  told  us  simply  that 
you  were  passing  through  Valladolid,  that  would  have  been  enough. 
My  sister  Camilla  and  I  shall  be  at  no  loss  how  to  conduct  ourselves 
towards  a  young  gentleman  who  has  conferred  an  obligation,  not 
to  be  repaid,  on  her  of  all  our  family  most  tenderly  beloved  by  us." 
(I  made  the  best  answer  I  could  to  these  speeches,  which  were  fol- 
lowed by  many  others  of  the  same  kind,  and  interlarded  with  a 
thousand  bows  and  scrapes.)  "  But  Lord  bless  me,  he  has  his  boota 
on !"    The  servants  were  ordered  in  to  take  them  off. 

We  next  went  into  another  room,  where  the  cloth  was  laid. 
Down  we  sat  at  table,  the  brother,  sister,  and  myself.  They  paid 
me  a  hundred  compliments  during  the  supper.  Not  a  word  escaped 
me,  but  they  magnified  it  into  an  admirable  hit !  It  was  impossible 
not  to  observe  the  assiduity  with  which  they  both  helped  me  out  of 
every  dish,  Don  Raphael  often  pledged  me  to  Donna  Mencia's 
health.  I  could  not  refuse  the  challenge ;  and  it  looked  a  little  as 
if  Camilla,  who  was  a  very  good  companion,  ogled  at  me  with  no 
questionable  meaning.  I  even  thought  I  could  perceive  that  she 
watched  her  opportunity,  as  if  she  was  afraid  of  being  detected  by 


68  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

her  brother.  An  oracle  could  not  have  convinced  me  more  firmly 
that  the  lady  was  caught ;  and  I  looked  forward  to  a  little  delicate 
amusement  from  the  discovery,  during  the  short  time  I  was  to  stay 
at  ViiUadolid.  That  hope  was  my  tempter  to  comply  with  the  re- 
quest they  made  me,  of  condescending  to  pass  a  few  days  with 
them.  They  thanked  me  kindly  for  indulging  them  with  my  com- 
pany; and  CamiUa's  restrained  but  visible  transport  confirmed  me 
in  the  opinion  that  I  was  not  altogether  disagreeable  in  her  eyes. 

Don  Raphael,  finding  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  be  his  guest  for 
a  few  days,  proposed  to  take  me  to  his  country  house.  The  descrip- 
tion of  it  was  magnificent,  and  the  round  of  amusements  he  medi- 
tated for  me  was  not  to  be  described.  "  At  one  time,"  said  he,  "  we 
will  take  the  diversion  of  the  chase,  at  another  that  of  fishing ;  and 
whenever  you  have  a  mind  for  a  saunter,  we  have  charming  woods 
and  gardens.  In  addition,  we  shall  have  agreeable  society.  I  flatter 
myself  you  will  not  find  the  time  hang  heavy  on  your  hands."  I 
accepted  the  invitation,  and  it  was  agreed  that  we  should  go  to  this 
fine  country  house  the  following  day.  We  rose  from  table  with  this 
pleasant  scheme  in  our  mouths.  Don  Raphael  seemed  in  ecstasy. 
"  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  embracing  me,  "  I  leave  you  with  my 
sister.  I  am  going  presently  to  give  the  necessary  orders,  and  send 
invitations  round  to  the  families  I  wish  to  be  of  the  party."  With 
these  words  he  sallied  forth  from  the  room  where  we  were  sitting,  I 
went  on  chatting  with  the  lady,  whose  topics  of  discourse  did  not 
belie  the  glances  of  her  expressive  eyes.  She  took  me  by  the  hand, 
and,  playing  with  my  ring,  "  You  have  a  mighty  pretty  brilliant 
there,"  said  she,  "but  it  is  small.  Are  you  a  judge  of  jewelry?"  I 
answered,  no!  "I  am  sorry  for  that,"  resumed  she,  "because  I  was 
in  hopes  you  could  have  told  me  what  this  is  worth."  As  she  uttered 
these  words,  she  showed  me  a  large  ruby  on  her  finger ;  while  I  was 
looking  at  it,  she  said,  "  An  uncle  of  mine,  who  was  governor  of  the 
Spanish  settlements  in  the  Philippine  Isles,  gave  me  this  ruby.  The 
jewellers  at  Valladolid  value  it  at  three  hundred  pistoles."  "  It'cannot 
be  worth  less,"  said  I,  "for  it  is  evidently  a  very  fine  stone."  "Why, 
then,  since  you  have  taken  a  fancy  to  it,"  replied  she,  "an  exchange 
is  no  robbery."  In  a  twinkling  she  whisked  off"  my  ring,  and  placed 
her  own  on  my  little  finger.  After  this  exchange,  a  genteel  way  of 
making  a  present,  Camilla  pressed  my  hand  and  gazed  at  me  with 
expressive  tenderness ;  then,  all  at  once  breaking  off  the  conversa- 
tion, wished  me  good-night,  and  retired  to  hide  her  blushes,  as  if  she 
had  been  ready  to  sink  at  the  indiscreet  avowal  of  her  sentiments. 

No  one  hitherto  had  trod  less  in  the  paths  cf  gallantry  than  my- 
self! Yet  I  could  not  shut  my  eyes  to  the  vision  opened  to  me 
by  this  precipitate  retreat.    Under  these  circumstances,  a  country 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  JBLAS.  69 

excursion  might  have  its  charms.  Full  of  this  flattering  idea,  and 
intoxicated  with  the  prosperous  condition  of  my  afiairs,  I  locked 
myself  into  my  bed-room,  after  having  told  my  servant  to  call  me 
betimes  in  the  morning.  Instead  of  going  to  sleep,  I  gave  myself 
up  to  the  agreeable  reflections  which  my  portmanteau,  snug  upon 
the  table,  and  my  ruby  excited  in  my  breast.  "  Heaven  be  praised  !" 
thought  I,  "though  misfortunes  have  been  my  lot,  I  am  unfortunate 
no  longer.  A  thousand  ducats  here,  a  ring  of  three  hundred  pistoles 
value  there !  I  am  in  cash  for  a  considerable  time.  Indeed  Majuelo 
was  no  flatterer,  I  see  clearly.  The  ladies  of  Madrid  will  take  fire 
like  touchwood,  since  the  green  sticks  of  Valladolid  are  so  inflam- 
mable." Then  the  kind  regards  of  the  generous  Camilla  arrayed 
themselves  in  all  their  charms,  and  I  tasted  by  anticipation  the 
amusements  Don  Raphael  was  preparing  for  me  at  his  villa.  In 
the  meanwhile,  amid  so  many  images  of  pleasure,  Sleep  was  on  the 
watch  to  strew  his  poppies  on  my  couch.  As  soon  as  I  felt  myself 
drowsy,  I  undressed  and  went  to  bed. 

The  next  morning,  when  I  awoke,  I  found  it  rather  late.  It  was 
odd  enough  that  my  servant  did  not  make  his  appearance,  after 
such  particular  orders.  Ambrose,  thought  I  to  myself,  my  devout 
Ambrose,  is  either  at  church,  or  abominably  lazy  this  morning. 
But  I  soon  let  go  this  opinion  of  him  to  take  up  a  worse ;  for  getting 
out  of  bed,  and  seeing  no  portmanteau,  I  suspected  him  to  have 
stolen  it  during  the  night.  To  clear  up  my  suspicions,  I  opened 
my  chamber  door,  and  called  the  religious  rascal  over  and  over  again. 
An  old  man  answered,  saying,  "What  is  your  pleasure,  sir?  All 
your  folks  left  my  house  before  daybreak."  "  Your  house  !  How 
now !"  exclaimed  I ;  "  am  I  not  under  Don  Raphael's  roof?"  "  I  do 
not  know  the  gentleman,"  said  he.  "You  are  in  a  ready-furnished 
lodging,  and  I  am  the  landlord.  Yesterday  evening,  an  hour  before 
your  arrival,  the  lady  who  supped  with  you  came  hither,  and  engaged 
this  suite  of  apartments  for  a  nobleman  of  high  rank,  travelling 
incognito,  as  she  called  it.  She  paid  me  beforehand."  I  was  now  in 
the  secret.  It  was  plain  enough  what  sort  of  people  Camilla  and 
Don  Raphael  were;  and  I  conjectured  that  my  servant,  having 
wormed  himself  into  a  complete  knowledge  of  my  concerns,  had  be- 
trayed me  to  these  impostors.  Instead  of  blaming  myself  for  this 
sad  accident,  and  considering  that  it  could  never  have  happened 
but  for  my  indiscretion  in  so  unnecessarily  betraying  my  confidence 
to  Majuelo,  I  uttered  bad  language  to  the  poor  harmless  Dame  For- 
tune, and  cursed  my  ill  star  in  a  hundred  different  formularies. 
The  master  of  the  ready-furnished  lodging,  to  whom  I  related  the 
adventure,  Avhich  perhaps  was  as  much  his  as  mine,  showed  some 
little  outward  sensibility  to  my  afiiiction.    He  lamented  over  me, 


TO  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

and  protested  he  was  deeply  mortified  that  such  a  play  should  have 
been  acted  in  his  house ;  but  I  verily  believe,  notwithstanding  his 
fine  words,  that  he  had  an  equal  share  in  the  cheat  with  mine  host 
at  Burgos,  to  whom  I  have  never  denied  the  merit  of  so  ingenious 
an  invention. 


CHAPTER    XVII. 

THE  MEASUBES  GIL  BLAS  TOOK  AFTER  THE  ADVENTURE  OF  THE  READY- 
FUENISHED  LODGING. 

AFTER  the  first  transports  of  my  grief  were  over,  I  began 
to  consider  that,  instead  of  giving  way  to  remorse,  I  ought 
rather  to  bear  up  against  my  ill  fate.  I  summoned  back  my 
resolution,  and  by  way  of  comfort,  said  to  myself  as  I  was  dressing, 
"  I  am  still  in  luck  that  the  knaves  have  not  carried  off  my  clothes, 
and  what  little  money  I  had  in  my  pocket."  I  gave  them  some 
credit  for  being  so  considerate.  They  had  even  been  generous 
enough  to  leave  me  my  boots,  which  I  parted  with  to  the  landlord 
for  a  third  of  their  cost.  At  last  I  sallied  out  of  the  ready-furnished 
lodging,  unencumbered,  Heaven  be  praised,  with  baggage  or  at- 
tendance. The  first  thing  I  did  was  to  go  and  see  if  my  mules  were 
still  at  the  inn,  where  we  alighted  the  evening  before.  It  was  not 
to  be  supposed  that  Ambrose  would  have  neglected  a  due  attention 
to  them  ;  and  it  would  have  been  well  for  me  if  I  had  always  taken 
such  exact  measure  of  his  character.  I  learned  that  he  had  not 
waited  for  the  morning,  but  had  been  careful  to  fetch  them  off  over- 
night. Under  these  circumstances,  satisfied  I  should  never  see 
them  again,  any  more  than  my  portmanteau,  I  walked  sulkily  along 
the  streets,  musing  on  the  future  plans  I  should  adopt,  I  was 
tempted  to  go  back  to  Burgos,  and  once  more  have  recourse  to 
Donna  Mencia  ;  but,  regarding  this  as  an  abuse  of  that  lady's  good- 
ness, and  being  aware,  moreover,  what  a  fool  I  should  look  like, 
I  thought  it  best  to  forego  that  idea.  I  made  a  vow,  too,  for  the 
future  to  be  on  my  guard  against  women.  I  could  have  sent  the 
chaste  Susanna  to  the  house  of  correction.  From  time  to  time  my 
ring  caught  my  eye;  it  was  a  present  from  Camilla,  and  I  was 
ready  to  burst  with  anguish.  "  Alas !"  thought  I,  "  I  am  no  judge  of 
jewelry,  but  I  shall  be,  by  experience  of  these  hucksters  who  ex- 
change without  a  robbery.  I  need  not  go  to  a  jeweller  to  be  told 
I  am  an  ass  I    I  can  see  my  own  face  in  my  ruby." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  71 

Yet  I  did  not  neglect  to  know  the  truth  respecting  the  value  of 
my  ring,  and  showed  it  to  a  lapidary,  who  rated  it  at  three  ducats. 
At  such  an  estimate,  though  as  much  as  I  expected,  I  made  a 
formal  surrender  to  the  devil  of  the  Philippine  Islands,  the  gover- 
nor and  his  niece ;  or  rather,  I  only  restored  his  own  subjects  to 
their  lawful  sovereign.  As  I  was  going  out  of  the  lapidary's  shop,  a 
young  fellow  brushed  by  me,  and  on  looking  round,  made  a  full 
stop.  I  could  not  recollect  his  name  at  first,  though  his  features 
were  perfectly  familiar  to  me.  "  How  now,  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  are 
you  ashamed  of  an  old  acquaintance  ?  or  have  two  years  so  altered  the 
son  of  Nunez  the  barber  that  you  do  not  know  him  ?  Do  not  you 
recollect  Fabricio,  your  townsman  and  schoolfellow?  How  often 
have  we  argued,  before  Doctor  Godinez,  upon  universals  and  meta- 
physics I" 

These  words  did  not  flow  so  fast  as  m^y  recollection,  and  we  em- 
braced with  mutual  good  will.  "  Well,  my  friend,"  resumed  he,  "  I 
am  overjoyed  to  meet  with  you.  Words  fall  short.  .  .  .  But  how  is 
this  ?  Why,  you  look  like — as  Heaven  is  my  judge,  you  are  dressed 
like  a  grandee  I  A  gentleman's  sword,  silk  stockings,  a  velvet 
doublet  and  cloak,  embroidered  with  silver  I  Plague  take  it !  this 
is  getting  on  in  the  world  with  a  vengeance.  I  will  lay  a  wager  you 
are  in  with  some  old  moneyed  harridan."  "  You  reckon  without  your 
host,"  said  I ;  "  my  affairs  are  not  so  prosperous  as  you  imagine." 
"  That  will  not  do  for  me,"  replied  he,  "  I  know  better  things ;  but  you 
have  a  mind  to  be  close.  And  that  fine  ruby  on  your  finger,  master 
Gil  Bias,  whence  comes  that,  if  I  may  be  so  bold?"  "  It  comes," 
quoth  I,  "  from  an  infernal  jade.  Fabricio,  my  dear  Fabricio,  far 
from  being  point,  quint,  and  quatorze  with  the  ladies  of  Valladolid, 
you  are  to  know,  my  friend,  that  I  am  their  complete  bubble." 

I  uttered  these  last  words  so  ruefully,  that  Fabricio  saw  plainly 
that  some  trick  had  been  played  upon  me.  He  was  anxious  to 
learn  why  I  was  out  of  humor  with  the  lovely  sex.  I  had  no  diffi- 
culty in  satisfying  his  curiosity ;  but  as  the  story  was  a  long  one, 
and,  besides,  we  had  no  mind  to  part  in  a  hurry,  we  went  into  a 
coffee-house  to  be  a  little  more  at  ease.  There  I  recounted  to  him, 
during  breakfast,  all  that  had  happened  to  me  since  my  departure 
from  Oviedo.  My  adventures  he  thought  whimsical  enough, 
and  testifying  his  sympathy  in  my  present  uneasy  circumstances, 
added,  "  We  must  make  the  best,  my  good  lad,  in  all  our  misfortunes 
in  this  life.  Is  a  man  of  parts  in  distress?  he  waits  patiently  for 
better  luck.  Such  a  one,  as  Cicero  truly  observes,  never  suffers 
himself  to  be  humbled  so  low  as  to  forget  that  he  is  a  man.  For 
my  own  part,  that  is  just  my  character ;  in  or  out  of  favor,  there  is 
no  sinking  me ;  I  always  float  on  the  surface  of  ill  luck.    For  ex- 


72  ADYENTUEES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

ample,  I  was  in  love  with  a  girl  of  some  family  at  Oviedo,  and  was 
beloved  by  her  in  return.  I  asked  her  of  her  father  in  marriage;  he 
refused.  Many  a  young  fellow  would  have  died  of  grief;  but  no ! 
mark  my  spirit :  I  carried  off  the  little  baggage.  She  was  lively, 
heedless,  and  coquettish ;  pleasure  consequently  was  always  upper- 
most, to  the  prejudice  of  duty.  I  took  her  with  me  for  six  months 
backward  and  forward  about  Galicia;  thence,  adopting  my  taste 
for  travelling,  she  had  a  mind  to  go  to  Portugal,  but  in  other  com- 
pany— more  food  for  despair.  Yet  I  did  not  give  in  under  the 
weight  of  this  new  affliction ;  but,  improving  on  Menelaus,  thought 
myself  much  obliged  to  the  Paris  who  had  whispered  in  the  ear  of 
my  Helen,  for  ridding  me  of  a  bad  bargain ;  I  therefore  determined 
to  keep  the  peace.  After  that,  not  finding  it  convenient  to  return 
to  the  Asturias  and  balance  accounts  with  justice,  I  went  forward 
into  the  kingdom  of  Leon,  spending  between  one  town  and  another 
all  the  loose  cash  remaining  from  the  rape  of  my  Indian  princess ; 
for  we  had  both  of  us  bird-limed  our  fingers  at  our  departure  from 
Oviedo.  I  got  to  Palcncia  with  a  solitary  ducat,  out  of  which  I 
was  obliged  to  buy  a  pair  of  shoes.  The  remainder  would  not  go 
far.  My  situation  became  rather  perplexing.  I  began  already  to 
be  reduced  to  short  allowance;  something  must  be  done.  I  resolved 
to  go  out  to  service.  My  first  place  was  with  a  woollen-draper  in  a 
large  way,  whose  son  was  a  lad  of  wit  and  fashion ;  here  was  a  com- 
plete antidote  to  fasting,  but  there  was  a  little  awkwardness.  The 
father  ordered  me  to  dog  the  son,  the  son  begged  my  assistance  in 
imposing  on  the  father ;  it  was  necessary  to  take  one  side  or  other. 
Entreaties  sound  more  musical  than  commands,  and  my  taste  for 
music  got  me  turned  out  of  doors.  The  next  service  I  entered  into 
was  with  an  old  painter,  who  undertook,  as  a  matter  of  favor,  to 
teach  me  the  principles  of  his  art;  but  he  was  so  busy  in  feeding  me 
with  knowledge,  that  he  forgot  to  give  me  any  meat.  This  neglect 
of  substance  for  shadow  disgusted  me  with  my  abode  at  Palencia. 
I  came  to  Valladolid,  where,  by  the  greatest  good  luck  in  the 
world,  T  was  hired  by  a  governor  of  the  hospital ;  I  am  with  him 
still,  and  delighted  with  my  quarters.  My  master,  Signor  Manuel 
Ordonncz,  is  a  man  of  profound  piety.  He  always  walks  with  his 
eyes  cast  downwards,  and  a  large  rosary  in  his  hand.  They  say 
that  from  his  early  youth,  having  been  a  close  inspector  of  the 
poor,  he  has  interested  himself  in  their  affairs  with  unwearied  zeal. 
Charity  draws  down  a  blessing  on  the  charitable ;  everything  has 
prospered  with  him.  What  a  favorite  of  Heaven !  The  more  he 
does  for  the  poor,  the  richer  he  grows." 

As  Fabricio  was  going  on  in  this  manner,  I  interrupted  him.    "It 
is  well  you  are  satisfied  with  your  lot ;  but  between  ourselves,  surely 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  73 

you  miglit  play  your  part  better  in  the  world."  "  Do  not  believe  it, 
Gil  Bias,"  repli-ed  he ;  "  be  assured  that  for  a  man  of  my  temper  a 
more  agreeable  situation  could  not  possibly  be  devised.  The  trade 
of  a  lackey  is  toilsome,  to  be  sure,  for  a  poor  creature ;  but  for  a  lad 
of  spirit,  it  is  all  enchantment.  A  superior  genius,  when  he  gets  a 
service,  does  not  go  about  like  a  lumpish  simpleton.  He  enters 
into  a  family  as  viceroy  over  the  master,  not  as  an  inferior  minis- 
ter. He  begins  by  measuring  the  length  of  his  employer's  foot ;  by 
lending  himself  to  his  weaknesses,  he  gains  his  confidence,  and 
ends  with  leading  him  by  the  nose.  Such  has  been  my  plan  of 
operation  at  the  governor's.  I  knew  the  pilgrim  at  once  by  his 
staff;  his  wish  was  for  an  earthly  canonization.  I  pretended  to 
believe  him  to  be  the  saint  he  wished  to  be  taken  for ;  hypocrisy 
costs  nothing.  Nay,  I  went  further,  for  I  took  pattern  by  him ;  and 
playing  the  same  part  before  him  which  he  played  before  others,  I 
out-cozened  the  cozener,  and  by  degrees  got  to  be  major  domo.  I  am 
in  hopes  some  day  or  other,  under  his  wing,  to  have  the  fingering 
of  the  poor's-box.  It  may  bring  a  blessing  upon  me  as  well  as  upon 
another ;  for  I  have  caught  the  flame  from  him,  and  already  feel 
deeply  for  the  interests  of  charity." 

"  These  are  fine  hopes,  my  dear  Fabricio,"  replied  I ;  "  and  I  con- 
gratulate you  upon  them.  For  my  part,  I  am  determined  on  my 
first  plan.  I  shall  straightway  convert  my  embroidered  suit  into  a 
cassock,  repair  to  Salamanca,  and  there,  enlisting  under  the  banner 
of  the  university,  fulfill  the  sacred  duties  of  a  tutor."  "A  fine 
scheme  1"  exclaimed  Fabricio,  "  a  pleasant  conceit  1  What  madness,' 
at  your  age  to  turn  pedant.  Are  you  aware,  you  stupid  fellow,  what 
you  take  upon  yourself  by  that  choice  ?  As  soon  as  you  are  settled, 
all  the  house  will  be  upon  the  watch ;  your  most  trivial  actions  will 
be  minutely  sifted.  You  will  lead  a  life  of  incessant  constraint ; 
you  must  set  yourself  off  with  a  counterfeit  outside,  and  affect  to 
entertain  a  double  set  of  the  cardinal  virtues  in  your  bosom.  You 
will  not  have  a  moment  to  bestow  on  pleasure.  The  everlasting 
censor  of  your  pupil,  your  days  will  pass  in  teaching  grammar  and 
administering  saintly  reprehension,  when  he  shall  say  or  do  any- 
thing against  decorum.  After  so  much  labor  and  confinement, 
what  will  be  your  reward  ?  If  the  little  gentleman  is  in  a  pickle, 
they  will  lay  all  the  blame  on  your  bad  management,  and  you  will 
be  kicked  out  of  the  family,  it  may  be,  without  your  stipend.  Do 
not  tell  me,  then,  of  a  tutor's  employment ;  it  is  worse  than  a  cure  of 
souls.  But  talk  as  much  as  you  will  about  a  lackey's  occupation, 
that  is  a  sinecure,  and  pledges  you  to  nothing.  Suppose  one's 
master  not  to  be  immaculate?  A  servant  of  superior  genius  will 
flatter  his  vices,  and  not  unfrequently  turn  them  to  account.     A 


74  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

footman  lives  at  his  ease  in  a  good  family.  After  having  ate  and 
drunk  his  fill,  he  goes  to  bed  peaceably,  without  troubling  himself 
who  pays  the  bills. 

"  I  should  never  have  done,  my  dear  fellow,"  pursued  he,  "  were  I 
to  enumerate  all  the  advantages  of  service.  Trust  me,  Gil  Bias ;  dis- 
card forever  your  foolish  wish  of  being  a  tutor,  and  follow  my  ex- 
ample." "  So  be  it ;  but,Fabricio,"  replied  I,  "governors  like  yours 
are  not  to  be  met  with  every  day ;  and  if  resolved  to  go  to  service,  I 
should  like  at  least  to  get  a  good  situation."  "  Oh  !  you  are  in  the 
right,"  said  he,  "  and  that  shall  be  my  concern.  I  will  get  you  a 
comfortable  place,  if  it  was  only  to  snatch  a  fine  fellow  from  the 
jaws  of  the  university." 

The  near  approach  of  poverty  with  which  I  was  threatened,  and 
Fabricio's  apparent  good  case,  having  more  weight  with  me  than 
his  arguments,  I  determined  to  wear  a  livery.  On  which  we  sallied 
forth  from  the  tavern,  and  my  townsman  said :  "  I  am  going  to  intro- 
duce you  to  a  man  to  whom  most  of  the  servants  resort  when  they 
are  on  the  ramble ;  he  has  eavesdroppers  about  him  to  pick  up  all 
that  passes  in  families.  He  knows  at  once  when  the  servants  are 
going  away,  and  keeps  a  correct  register,  not  only  of  vacant  places, 
but  of  vacant  masters,  with  their  good  and  bad  properties.  The 
fellow  has  been  a  friar  in  some  convent  or  other.  In  short,  he  it 
was  who  got  me  my  place." 

While  we  were  conversing  about  so  singular  an  ofiice  of  intelli- 
gence, the  son  of  Nunez  the  barber  took  me  into  a  street  which  had 
no  thoroughfare.  We  went  into  a  mean  house,  where  we  found  a 
man  about  fifty  writing  at  a  table.  We  wished  him  good-day,  with 
quite  as  much  humility  as  became  us ;  but,  whether  it  was  from 
natural  pride,  or  that,  from  a  habit  of  seeing  none  but  lackeys  and 
coachmen,  he  had  got  a  trick  of  receiving  his  company  with  an  easy 
freedom,  without  rising  from  his  seat,  he  just  gave  a  slight  nod. 
He  seemed  surprised  that  a  young  man  in  embroidered  velvet  should 
want  a  place ;  he  had  rather  expected  me  to  have  wanted  a  servant. 
However,  he  was  not  long  kept  in  doubt,  since  Fabricio  said  at 
once :  "  Signer  Arias  de  Londona,  give  me  leave  to  introduce  one  of 
my  best  friends.  He  is  a  youth  of  good  connections,  whom  adverse 
circumstances  have  reduced  to  the  necessity  of  going  to  service. 
Have  the  goodness  to  provide  for  him  handsomely,  and  you  may 
trust  to  his  gratitude."  "  Gentlemen,"  replied  Arias,  coolly,  "this  is 
the  way  with  you  all ;  before  you  are  settled,  you  make  the  finest  pro- 
mises in  the  world  ;  but  afterwards.  Lord  help  us  !  your  memories 
are  very  short."  "  The  deuce !"  replied  Fabricio,  "  why,  you  do  not 
complain  of  me  ?  Have  I  not  done  the  thing  genteelly  ?"  "  You 
ought  to  have  done  it  much  better,"  rejoined  Arias :  "  your  place  is 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  75 

better  than  a  clerk  in  a  public  office,  and  you  paid  me  as  if  I  had 
quartered  you  upon  a  poor  author."  Here  I  interfered,  and  told 
Master  Arias  that,  to  convince  him  I  was  not  a  shabby  fellow,  I 
would  make  my  acknowledgment  beforehand ;  at  the  same  time 
taking  out  two  ducats,  with  an  assurance  of  not  stopping  there  if 
he  got  me  into  a  good  berth. 

He  seemed  to  like  my  mode  of  dealing.  "  There  are,"  said  he,  "  some 
very  good  places  vacant.  I  will  give  you  a  list  of  them,  and  you 
shall  take  your  choice."  With  these  words,  he  put  on  his  spectacles, 
opened  a  register  on  the  table,  turned  over  a  few  of  the  leaves,  and 
began  reading  to  this  effect :  "  Captain  Torbellino  wants  a  footman ; 
a  hasty,  hairbrained,  humorsome  chap;  scolds  incessantly,  swears, 
kicks  his  servants,  and  very  often  cripples  them."  "  Go  on  to  the 
next,"  cried  I  at  this  picture ;  "such  a  captain  will  never  do  for  me." 
My  sprightliness  made  Arias  smile,  and  he  went  on  with  his  cata- 
logue thus :  "  Donna  Menuela  de  Sandoval,  a  superannuated  dowa- 
ger, peevish  and  fantastical,  is  in  want  at  this  very  time ;  she  keeps 
but  one,  and  him  never  for  four-and-twenty  hours.  There  has  been 
a  livery  in  the  house  for  these  ten  years,  which  fits  every  new 
comer,  whether  tall  or  short.  They  only  just  try  it  on  ;  so  that  it 
is  as  good  as  new,  though  it  has  had  two  thousand  owners.  Doctor 
Alvar  Fanez  wants  a  journeyman ;  an  eminent  member  of  the 
faculty !  He  boards  his  family  very  handsomely,  has  everything 
comfortable  about  him,  and  gives  very  high  wages ;  but  he  is  a 
little  too  fond  of  experiments.  When  he  gets  a  parcel  of  bad  drugs, 
which  happens  very  often,  there  is  a  pretty  quick  succession  of  new 
servants." 

"  Oh  !  I  do  not  in  the  least  doubt  it,"  interrupted  Fabricio  with  a 
horse-laugh.  "  Upon  my  word  you  give  a  fine  character  of  your  cus- 
tomers." *'  Patience,"  said  Arias  de  Londona ;  "  we  have  not  yet  got 
to  the  end :  there  is  variety  enough."  Thereupon  he  continued  to  read 
on  :  "  Donna  Alfonsa  de  Solis,  an  old  devotee,  who  lives  two-thirds 
of  her  time  at  church,  and  always  keeps  her  servant  at  her  apron 
string,  has  been  in  want  for  these  three  weeks.  The  Licentiate 
S^dillo,  an  old  prebendary  of  the  chapter  here,  turned  away  his 
servant  yesterday  evening."  ..."  Halt  there,  Signor  Arias  de 
Londona,"  cried  Fabricio  at  that  passage ;  "  we  will  stick  to  the 
church.  The  Licentiate  Sddillo  is  one  of  my  master's  friends,  and 
I  am  very  well  acquainted  with  him.  I  know  he  has  for  his  house- 
keeper an  old  hypocrite,  called  Dame  Jacintha,  who  is  complete 
mistress  of  the  family.  It  is  one -of  the  best  houses  in  Valladolid. 
A  very  idle  life,  and  plenty  of  excellent  meat  and  drink.  Besides, 
his  reverence  is  an  old,  gouty,  infirm  man,  likely  soon  to  make  his 
will;  there  is  a  legacy  to  be  looked  after.    That  is  a  delightful 


76 


ADYENTUKES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


prospect  for  one  of  our  cloth  !  Gil  Bias,"  added  he,  turning  round 
to  me,  "  let  us  lose  no  time,  my  friend,  but  go  immediately  to  the 
licentiate's  house.  I  will  introduce  you  myself,  and  give  you  a 
character."  At  these  words,  for  fear  of  missing  such  an  opportunity, 
we  took  a  hasty  leave  of  Signor  Arias,  who  assured  me,  for  my 
money,  that  if  I  failed  here,  he  would  do  something  as  good  for  me 
elsewhere. 


ADVENTVIiES  OF  GIL  BLAS^  77 


BOOK   II. 


CHAPTER   I. 

FABEICIO  INTRODUCES  GIL  BLAS  TO  THE  LICENTIATE  SfeOILLO,  AND 
PROCURES  HIM  A  RECEPTION.  THE  DOMESTIC  ECONOMY  OF  THAT 
CLERGYMAN.     PICTURE  OF  HIS  HOUSEKEEPER. 

WE  were  so  dreadfully  afraid  of  offending  against  the  regular 
hours  of  the  old  licentiate,  that  we  made  but  a  hop,  skip, 
and  jump  from  the  street  with  but  one  outlet  to  the  prebendal 
residence.  The  gates  were  barred:  but  we  ventured  to  announce 
our  arrival.  A  girl  of  ten  years  old,  the  housekeeper's  professed 
niece, — and  slander  could  not  gainsay  the  relationship, — opened 
the  door  to  us.  As  we  asked  to  speak  with  his  reverence,  Dame 
Jacintha  made  her  appearance.  She  was  a  lady  of  ripe  person 
and  parts,  but  by  no  means  past  her  prime ;  and  I  was  particu- 
larly attracted  by  the  clearness  of  her  complexion.  She  wore  a 
long  woollen  gown  of  the  most  ordinary  quality,  with  a  large 
leathern  girdle,  whence  hung  suspended  a  bunch  of  keys  on  one 
side,  and  on  the  other  a  tremendous  string  of  beads.  As  soon  as 
we  got  a  glimpse  of  her,  we  made  our  obeisances  with  all  possible 
reverence.  She  returned  our  salutation  with  similar  good  breeding, 
but  with  an  air  of  modesty,  and  eyes  communing  with  the  ground. 

"  I  have  been  told,"  said  my  fellow-servant,  "  that  the  reverend  the 
Licentiate  S6dillo  wants  an  honest  lad,  and  I  have  one  at  his  ser- 
vice with  whom  he  will  be  well  satisfied."  The  superintendent  of 
the  household  turned  up  her  eyes  at  these  words,  with  a  significant 
side  glance  at  me ;  and,  finding  it  difficult  to  reconcile  my  laced 
jacket  with  Fabricio's  exordium,  asked  if  it  was  this  fine  gentleman 
who  was  come  after  the  place.  "  Yes,"  said  the  son  of  Nunez,  "  it  is 
this  interesting  and  engaging  youth.  Just  as  you  see  him,  the  ups 
and  downs  of  this  transitory  life  have  compelled  him  to  wear  an 
epaulet ;  but  fate  will  have  made  him  ample  amends,"  added  he,  with 
an  affected  languish,  "  if  he  is  so  happy  as  to  be  an  inmate  here,  and 
to  profit  by  the  society  of  the  virtuous  Jacintha.  The  patriarch  of 
the  Indies  might  have  sighed  for  the  virtuous  Jacintha  at  the  head 
of  his  establishment."  At  these  words,  this  withered  branch  of  piety 
withdrew  her  penetrating  regards  from  me,  to  contemplate  this  cour- 
teous spokesman.  Struck  with  certain  lines  which  were  not  new  to 
her  in  his  face, "  I  have  some  floating  idea  of  having  seen  you  before," 


78  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

said  she;  "  but  my  memory  wants  a  lift."  "Holy  Jacintha,"  replied 
Fabricio,  "  it  is  enough  for  me  to  have  been  blessed  with  your  pious 
notice.  Twice  have  I  been  under  this  venerable  roof  with  my 
master,  Signor  Manuel  Ordonnez,  governor  of  the  hospital."  "  Ah ! 
just  80,"  answered  the  lady  chamberlain,  "  I  recollect  1  You  are  an 
old  acquaintance.  Welladay  now !  Your  very  belonging  to  Signor 
Ordonnez  is  enough  to  prove  you  a  youth  of  merit  and  strict  pro- 
priety. A  servant  is  known  by  his  place,  and  this  lad  could  not 
have  a  better  sponsor.  Come  along  with  me;  I  will  introduce  you 
to  Signor  Sddillo.  I  am  sure  he  will  be  glad  to  engage  a  lad  at 
your  recommendation." 

We  followed  Dame  Jacintha.  The  canon  lived  in  the  lower  part 
of  the  house,  in  a  comfortable  suite  of  wainscoted  apartments. 
She  begged  us  to  wait  a  moment  in  the  ante-chamber,  white  she 
went  into  the  licentiate's  room.  After  some  private  parley  with 
him,  merely  that  he  might  know  what  he  was  about,  she  came  to 
tell  us  we  might  walk  in.  We  kenned  the  old  cripple,  immersed  in 
an  elbovv  chair,  with  a  pillow  under  his  head,  cushions  under  his 
arms,  and  his  legs  supported  on  a  large  stool,  stuffed  with  down. 
We  were  no  niggards  of  our  bows  as  we  advanced ;  and  Fabricio, 
still  taking  the  lead,  not  only  repeated  over  again  what  he  had  said 
to  the  housekeeper,  but  set  about  extolling  my  merit,  and  expatiated 
in  an  especial  manner  on  the  honors  I  had  gained  in  the  schools 
under  Doctor  Godinez  on  all  metaphysical  questions :  as  if  it  was 
necessary  for  a  prebendary's  footman  to  be  as  learned  as  his  master. 
However  that  might  be,  it  served  as  a  tub  to  the  whale.  Besides, 
Dame  Jacintha  did  not  look  forbidding,  and  my  surety  received  the 
following  answer:  "Friend,  I  receive  into  my  service  the  lad  you 
recommend.  I  like  him  well  enough ;  and  as  for  his  morals,  they 
cannot  be  much  amiss,  since  he  presents  himself  under  the  wing  of 
a  domestic  belonging  to  Signor  Ordonnez." 

As  soon  as  Fabricio  saw  me  safe  landed,  he  made  a  low  bow  to 
the  prebendary,  a  still  lower  to  the  lady,  and  withdrew  in  high  good 
humor,  whispering  in  my  ear  that  we  should  meet  again,  and  that  I 
had  only  to  make  good  my  footing.  As  soon  as  he  had  left  the 
room,  the  licentiate  inquired  my  name,  why  I  had  left  my  native 
place;  and  gradually  drew  me  on  by  his  questions  to  relate  my 
adventures  before  Dame  Jacintha.  They  were  both  highly  amused, 
above  all  by  my  last  rencounter.  Camilla  and  Don  Raphael  gave 
such  play  to  their  risible  muscles,  that  I  thought  old  chalkstone 
would  have  burst :  for,  as  he  laughed  with  all  his  might,  so  violent 
a  cough  laid  hold  of  him,  as  went  very  near  to  have  carried  him  off. 
His  will  was  not  made.  What  an  alarm  for  the  housekeeper  1 
Trembling,  distracted,  off  she  flew  to  the  good  man's  succor,  and  just 


ADVENTURES  OP  GIL  BIAS.  79 

like  a  nurse  with  a  puking  child,  paddled  about  his  forehead  and 
tapped  him  on  the  back.  Luckily  it  was  a  false  alarm;  the  old 
gentleman  left  off  coughing,  and  the  housekeeper  tormenting  him. 
When  it  was  over,  I  was  for  going  on  with  my  narrative ;  but  Dame 
Jacintha,  in  awe  of  a  second  fit,  set  herself  against  it.  She  there- 
fore took  me  with  her  out  of  the  room  to  a  wardrobe,  where  among 
several  suits  was  that  of  my  predecessor.  This  I  was  to  take,  and 
leave  my  own  in  its  room,  which  I  was  not  sorry  to  see  laid  up  safe, 
in  the  hope  it  might  be  of  further  use.  After  this  we  went  together 
to  get  dinner  ready. 

I  knew  what  I  was  about  in  the  art  of  dressing  meat.  Dame 
Leoparda,  with  whom  I  had  served  my  time,  might  have  passed  for 
a  very  decent  plain  cook,  but  a  mere  turnspit  to  Dame  Jacintha. 
The  latter  might  almost  have  borne  away  the  bell  from  the  arch- 
bishop of  Toledo's  man.  She  was  mistress  of  everything ;  gravy 
soups,  of  the  most  delicious  texture  and  relish,  and,  for  made 
dishes,  she  could  season  them  up  or  soften  them  down  to  the  most 
delicate  or  voluptuous  palate.  At  dinner-time  we  returned  to  his 
reverence's  apartments.  While  I  was  arranging  the  grand  concern 
close  by  his  arm-chair,  the  lady  of  all  work  crammed  a  napkin 
under  the  old  boy's  chin,  and  pinned  it  behind  his  back.  Without 
losing  a  moment,  in  marched  I  with  a  stew  fit  to  be  set  before  the 
first  gourmand  in  Madrid,  and  two  courses  to  have  tickled  the  gills 
of  a  viceroy,  only  that  Dame  Jacintha  had  touched  the  spice-box 
with  discretion,  for  fear  of  exasperating  the  gout.  At  the  first 
glimpse  of  this  goodly  mess,  my  old  master,  whom  I  conceived  to 
have  lost  the  use  of  his  limbs,  made  me  to  understand  that  his  arms 
were  exempted  from  the  interdict.  He  availed  himself  of  their 
assistance  to  get  clear  of  his  pillow  and  cushions,  and  proceeded 
gayly  to  the  attack.  His  hand  shook,  to  be  sure,  but  somehow  or 
other  it  contrived  to  do  its  duty.  He  sent  it  backward  and  for- 
ward fast  enough ;  though  it  brought  but  half  its  cargo  to  the 
landing-place  at  a  lading ;  the  table-cloth  and  napkin  took  toll.  I 
carried  off  the  soup  when  he  had  done,  and  brought  in  a  partridge 
flanked  by  two  roast  quails,  which  Dame  Jacintha  cut  up  for  him. 
She  took  care  to  make  him  take  a  good  draught  of  wine,  a  little 
lowered  at  proper  intervals,  out  of  a  large,  deep  silver  cup,  which 
she  held  to  his  mouth,  as  if  he  had  been  an  infant.  He  winged  the 
partridge,  and  came  down  slap-dash  upon  all  the  rest  of  the  dishes. 
When  he  had  done  cramming,  that  saint  of  the  saucepan  unpinned 
his  napkin,  reinstated  his  pillow  and  cushions,  then,  leaving  him 
composed  in  his  arm-chair  to  the  enjoyment  of  his  usual  nap  after 
dinner,  we  took  away  and  demolished  the  remainder  with  appetites 
worthy  of  our  master. 


80  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

The  dinner  of  to-day  was  the  ordinary  bill  of  fare.  Our  canon 
played  the  best  knife  and  fork  in  the  chapter.  But  the  supper  was 
a  mere  bauble:  seldom  more  than  a  chicken  and  a  little  confec- 
tionery. I  larded  my  inside  in  this  house,  and  led  a  good  ea-sy 
life.  There  was  but  one  awkward  circumstance,  and  that  was 
sitting  up  with  my  master,  to  save  the  expense  of  a  nurse.  Besides 
a  strangury,  which  kept  him  on  the  fidget  ten  times  the  hour,  he 
was  very  much  given  to  perspire,  and  in  that  event,  I  shifted  him. 
" Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  on  the  second  night,  "you  are  an  active,  clever 
fellow ;  I  foresee  that  we  shall  jog  on  very  well  together.  I  only 
just  give  you  a  hint  to  keep  in  with  Dame  Jacintha ;  the  girl 
has  been  about  me  for  these  fifteen  years,  and  manages  all  my  little 
matters ;  she  comforts  my  outward  man,  and  I  cannot  do  too  much 
for  her.  For  that  reason,  you  are  to  know  that  she  is  more  to  me 
than  all  my  family.  There  is  my  nephew,  my  own  sister's  son,  why, 
I  have  turned  him  out  of  doors,  only  to  please  her.  He  had  no 
regard  for  the  poor  lass,  and  so  far  from  giving  her  credit  for  all 
her  little  assiduities,  the  saucy  rascal  swore  she  did  not  care  a 
farthing  for  me !  But  nowadays,  young  people  think  virtue  and 
gratitude  all  a  farce.  Heaven  be  praised,  I  am  rid  of  the  varlet. 
What  claim  has  blood  in  comparison  Avith  unquestionable  attach- 
ment? I  am  influenced  by  a  give-and-take  principle  in  my  connec- 
tions." "You  are  right,  sir,"  replied  I;  "gratitude  ought  to  be  the 
first  thing,  and  natural  affection  the  last."  "  Ay !"  resumed  he ;  "  and 
my  will  shall  be  a  comment  on  that  text.  My  housekeeper  shall  be 
residuary  legatee;  and  you  shall  have  a  corner  in  a  codicil,  if  you 
go  on  as  well  as  you  have  begun.  The  footman  I  turned  off  yesterday 
has  lost  a  good  legacy,  by  not  knowing  where  to  hit  the  right  nail 
on  the  head.  If  the  blockhead  had  not  obliged  me,  by  his  ill 
behavior,  to  send  him  packing,  I  would  have  made  a  man  of  him  ; 
but  the  beggar  on  horseback  gave  himself  airs  to  Dame  Jacintha. 
Then  master  lazy-bones  did  not  like  sitting  up !  I  might  pass  the 
night  as  I  could,  provided  he  had  no  trouble  with  me."  "  Oh,  the 
unfeeling  scoundrel !"  exclaimed  I,  in  the  true  spirit  of  Fabricio, 
"  he  was  not  a  man  to  be  about  so  good  a  master.  The  lad  for  your 
money  should  be  a  humble  but  confidential  friend :  he  should  not 
make  a  toil  of  what  ought  to  be  a  pleasure,  but  think  nothing  of 
going  through  fire  and  water  for  your  ease." 

These  professions  were  not  lost  upon  the  licentiate.  Neither 
were  my  assurances  of  due  submission  to  Dame  Jacintha's 
authority  less  acceptable.  Puffing  myself  off  for  a  servant  who 
was  not  afraid  of  work,  I  got  through  my  business  as  cheerfully  as 
I  could.  I  never  complained  of  my  nursery — ^though  to  be  sure  it 
vaa  irksome  enough ;  and  if  the  legacy  had  not  settled  my  stomach, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  81 

I  should  have  sickened  at  the  nature  of  my  employment.  It  is  true 
I  got  some  hours'  rest  during  the  day.  The  housekeeper,  to  do  her 
justice,  was  kind  enough  to  me,  owing  to  the  insinuating  manner 
in  which  I  wormed  myself  into  her  good  graces.  Suppose  me  at 
table,  with  her  and  her  niece  In^silla!  I  changed  their  plates, 
filled  their  glasses,  never  thought  of  my  own  dinner  before  they  had 
everything  they  wanted.  This  was  the  way  to  thrive  in  their 
esteem.  One  day  when  Dame  Jacintha  was  gone  to  market,  find- 
ing myself  alone  with  In^silla,  I  began  to  make  myself  agreeable. 
"Were  her  father  and  mother  alive?"  "O!  no,"  answered  she; 
"  they  have  been  dead  this  long  time ;  for  my  good  aunt  says  they 
have,  and  I  have  never  seen  them."  I  religiously  believed  the  little 
innocent,  though  her  answer  was  not  of  the  clearest ;  and  she  got 
into  such  a  humor  of  talking,  as  to  tell  me  more  than  I  wanted  to 
know.  She  informed  me,  or  rather  I  inferred  it  from  her  artless 
simplicity,  that  her  good  aunt  had  a' good  friend,  who  lived  likewise 
with  an  old  canon.  The  temporalities  of  the  church  were  under  his 
administration  ?  and  these  lucky  domestics  reckoned  upon  entwining 
the  spoils  of  their  masters  round  the  pillars  of  the  hymeneal  temple, 
into  whose  sanctuary  they  had  penetrated  by  anticipation.  Dame 
Jacintha,  as  I  have  said  before,  though  a  little  stricken  in  years, 
had  still  some  bloom.  To  be  sure,  she  spared  no  pains  to  cherish 
it ;  besides  daily  evacuations,  she  took  plentiful  doses  of  all-powerful 
jelly.  She  got  her  sleep  in  the  night  too,  while  I  sat  up  with  my 
master.  But  what  perhaps  contributed  most  to  the  freshness  of  this 
everlasting  flower,  was  an  issue  in  each  leg,  of  which  I  should  hav« 
never  known  but  for  that  blab  In6silla. 


CHAPTER   II. 


THE  canon's  ILLNESS;  HIS  TREATMENT;  THE  CONSEQUENCE;  THE 
LEGACY  TO  GIL  BLAS. 

I  STAYED  three  months-  with  the  Licentiate  S6dillo,  without 
complaining  of  bad  nights.  At  the  end  of  that  time  he  fell  sick. 
The  distemper  was  a  fever,  and  it  inflamed  the  gout.  For  the 
first  time  in  his  life,  which  had  been  long,  he  called  in  a  phyiscian. 
Doctor  Sangrado  was  sent  for — the  Hippocrates  of  Valladolid. 
Dame  Jacintha  was  for  sending  for  the  lawyer  first,  and  touched 
that  string;  but  the  patient  thought  it  was  time  enough,  and  had 


82  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

a  little  will  of  his  own  upon  some  points.  Away  I  went  ailer 
Doctor  Sangrado,  and  brought  him  with  me.  A  tall,  withered,  wan 
executioner  of  the  sisters  three,  who  had  done  all  their  justice  for 
at  least  these  forty  years,  this  learned  forerunner  of  the  under- 
taker had  an  aspect  suited  to  his  office  ;  his  words  were  weighed  to 
a  scruple,  and  his  jargon  sounded  grand  in  the  ears  of  the  un- 
initiated. His  arguments  were  mathematical  demonstrations,  and 
his  opinions  had  the  merit  of  originality. 

After  studying  my  master's  symptoms,  he  began  with  medical 
solemnity.  "  The  question  here  is,  to  remedy  aiLpbstructed  perspira- 
tion. Ordinary  practitioners,  in  this  case,  would  follow  the  old 
routine  of  salines,  diuretics,  volatile  salts,  sulphur,  and  mercury ; 
but  purges  and  sudorifics  are  a  deadly  practice.  Chemical  prepara- 
tions are  edged  tools  in  the  hands  of  the  ignorant.  My  methods  are 
more  simple  and  more  efficacious.  What  is  your  usual  diet?"  "  I  live 
pretty  much  upon  soups,"  replied  the  canon,  "and  eat  my  meat  with 
a  good  deal  of  gravy."  "  Soups  and  gravy !"  exclaimed  the  petrified 
doctor.  "  Upon  my  word,  it  is  no  wonder  you  are  ill.  High  living 
is  a  poisoned  bait — a  trap  set  by  sensuality  to  cut  short  the  days  of 
wretched  man.  We  must  have  done  with  pampering  our  appetites ; 
the  more  insipid,  the  more  wholesome.  The  human  blood  is  not  a 
gravy !  Why,  then,  you  must  give  it  such  a  nourishment  as  will 
assimilate  with  the  particle  of  which  it  is  composed.  You  drink 
wine,  I  warrant  you?"  "Yes,"  said  the  licentiate,  "butdiluted."  "01 
finely  diluted,  I  daresay,"  rejoined  the  physician.  "  This  is  licentious- 
ness with  a  vengeance !  A  frightful  course  of  feeding  I  Why,  you 
ought  to  have  died  years  ago.  How  old  are  you  ?"  "  I  am  in  my 
sixty-ninth  year,"  replied  the  canon.  "  So  I  thought,"  quoth  the  prac- 
titioner ;  "  a  premature  old  age  is  always  the  consequence  of  intem- 
perance. If  you  had  only  drunk  clear  water  all  your  life,  and  had 
been  contented  with  plain  food,  boiled  apples,  for  instance,  you 
would  not  have  been  a  martyr  to  the  gout,  and  your  limbs  would 
have  performed  their  functions  with  lubricity.  But  I  do  not 
despair  of  setting  you  on  your  legs  again,  provided  you  give  your- 
self up  to  my  management."  The  licentiate  promised  to  be  upon  his 
good  behavior. 

Sangrado  then  sent  me  for  a  surgeon  of  his  own  choosing,  and 
took  from  him  six  good  porringers  of  blood,  by  way  of  a  beginning, 
to  remedy  this  obstinate  obstruction.  He  then  said  to  the  surgeon  : 
"  Master  Martin  Onez,  you  will  take  as  much  more  three  hours  hence, 
and  to-morrow  you  will  repeat  the  operation.  It  is  a  mere  vulgar 
error  that  the  blood  is  of  any  use  to  the  system ;  the  faster  you  draw 
it  off,  the  better.  A  patient  has  nothing  to  do  but  to  keep  himself 
quiet ;  with  him,  to  live  is  merely  not  to  die ;  he  has  no  more  occa- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  83 

sion  for  blood  than  a  man  in  a  trance ;  in  both  cases,  life  consists 
exclusively  in  pulsation  and  respiration."  When  the  doctor  had 
ordered  these  frequent  and  copious  bleedings,  he  added  a  drench  of 
warm  water  at  very  short  intervals,  maintaining  that  water  in  suffi- 
cient quantities  was  the  grand  secret  of  materia  medica.  He  then 
took  his  leave,  telling  Dame  Jacintha  and  me,  with  an  air  of  con- 
fidence, that  he  would  answer  for  the  patient's  life  if  his  system  was 
fairly  pursued.  The  housekeeper,  though  protesting  secretly  against 
this  new  practice,  bowed  to  his  superior  authority.  In  fact,  we  set 
on  the  kettles  in  a  hurry;  and,  as  the  physician  had  desired  us 
above  all  things  to  give  him  enough,  we  began  with  pouring  down 
two  or  three  pints  at  as  many  gulps.  An  hour  after,  we  beset  him 
again ;  then,  returning  to  the  attack  time  after  time,  we  fairly 
poured  a  deluge  into  his  poor  stomach.  The  surgeon,  on  the  other 
hand,  taking  out  the  blood  as  we  poured  in  the  water,  we  reduced 
the  old  canon  to  death's  door  in  less  than  two  days. 

This  venerable  ecclesiastic,  able  to  hold  it  out  no  longer,  as  I 
pledged  him  in  a  large  glass  of  his  new  cordial,  said  to  me  in  a  faint 
voice :  "  Hold,  Gil  Bias,  do  not  give  me  any  more,  my  friend.  It  ia 
plain  Death  will  come  when  he  will  come,  in  spite  of  water ;  and 
though  I  have  hardly  a  drop  of  blood  in  my  veins,  I  am  no  better 
for  getting  rid  of  the  enemy.  The  ablest  physician  in  the  world  can 
do  nothing  for  us  when  our  time  is  expired.  Fetch  a  notary;  I 
will  make  my  will."  At  these  last  words,  pleasing  enough  to  my 
fancy,  I  affected  to  appear  unhappy ;  and  concealing  my  impatience 
to  be  gone :  "  Sir,"  said  I,  "  you  are  not  reduced  so  low,  thank  God, 
but  you  may  yet  recover."  "  No,  no,"  interrupted  he,  "  my  good 
fellow,  it  is  all  over.  I  feel  the  gout  shifting,  and  the  hand  of  death 
is  upon  me.  Make  haste,  and  go  where  I  told  you."  I  saw,  sure 
enough,  that  he  changed  every  moment,  and  the  case  was  so  urgent, 
that  I  ran  as  fast  as  I  could,  leaving  him  in  Dame  Jacintha's  care, 
who  was  more  afraid  than  myself  of  his  dying  without  a  will.  I 
laid  hold  of  the  first  notary  I  could  find.  "Sir,"  said  I,  "tha  Licen- 
tiate Sedillo,  my  master,  is  drawing  near  his  end ;  he  wants  to  settle 
his  affairs ;  there  is  not  a  moment  to  be  lost."  The  notary  was  a 
dapper  little  fellow,  who  loved  his  joke,  and  inquired  who  was  our 
physician.  At  the  name  of  Doctor  Sangrado,  hurrying  on  his 
cloak  and  hat :  "  For  mercy's  sake,"  cried  he,  "  let  us  set  off  with  all 
possible  speed ;  for  this  doctor  despatches  business  so  fast,  that  oui 
fraternity  cannot  keep  pace  with  him.  That  fellow  spoils  half  my 
jobs." 

With  this  sarcasm,  he  set  forward  in  good  earnest,  and,  as  we 
pushed  on,  to  get  the  start  of  the  grim  tyrant,  I  said  to  him :  "Sir,  you 
are  aware  that  a  dying  testator's  memory  is  sometimes  a  little  short ; 


84  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

should  my  master  chance  to  forget  me,  be  so  good  as  to  put  in  a 
word  in  my  favor."  "  That  I  will,  my  lad,"  replied  the  little  proc- 
tor; "you  may  rely  on  it.  I  will  urge  something  handsome,  if  I 
liave  an  opportunity."  The  licentiate,  on  our  arrival,  had  still  all 
his  faculties  about  him.  Dame  Jacintha  was  by  his  bedside,  Is-ying 
in  her  tears  by  wholesale.  She  had  played  her  game,  and  bespoken 
a  handsome  remembrance.  We  left  the  notary  alone  with  my 
master,  and  went  together  into  the  ante-chamber,  where  we  met  the 
surgeon,  sent  by  the  physician  for  another  and  last  experiment. 
We  laid  hold  of  him.  "Stop,  Master  Martin,"  said  the  housekeeper, 
"you  cannot  go  into  Signer  S^dillo's  room  just  now.  He  is  giving 
his  last  orders ;  but  you  may  bleed  away  when  the  will  is  made." 

We  were  terribly  afraid,  this  pious  gentlewoman  and  I,  lest  the 
licentiate  should  go  off  with  his  will  half  finished ;  but  by  good  luck, 
the  important  deed  was  executed.  We  saw  the  proctor  come  out,  who 
finding  me  on  the  watch,  slapped  me  on  the  shoulder,  and  said  with 
a  simper,  "Gil  Bias  is  not  forgotten."  At  these  words  I  felt  the 
most  lively  joy;  and  was  so  well  pleased  with  my  master  for  his 
kind  notice,  that  I  promised  myself  the  pleasure  of  praying  for  his 
soul  after  dea/.h,  which  event  happened  anon ;  for  the  surgeon 
having  bled  him  once  more,  the  poor  old  man,  quite  exhausted, 
gave  up  the  ghost  under  the  lancet.  Just  as  he  was  breathing  his 
last,  the  physician  made  his  appearance,  and  looked  a  little  foolish, 
notwithstanding  the  universality  of  his  deathbed  experience.  Yet, 
far  from  imputing  the  accident  to  the  new  practice,  he  walked  off, 
affirming  with  intrepidity  that  it  was  owing  to  their  having  been 
too  lenient  with  the  lancet,  and  too  chary  of  their  warm  water. 
The  medical  executioner, — I  mean  the  surgeon, — seeing  that  his 
functions  also  were  at  an  end,  followed  Doctor  Sangrado. 

As  soon  as  he  saw  the  breath  out  of  our  patron's  body.  Dame 
Jacintha,  In^silla,  and  myself  joined  in  a  decent  chorus  of  funeral 
lamentation,  loud  enough  to  produce  a  proper  effect  in  the  neigh- 
borhood. The  emblem  of  a  life  to  come,  though  she  had  more 
reason  than  any  of  us  to  rejoice,  took  the  soprano  part,  and 
screamed  out  her  afiiictions  in  a  most  pathetic  manner.  The  room 
in  an  instant  was  crowded  with  people,  attracted  less  by  compassion 
than  curiosity.  The  relations  of  the  deceased  no  sooner  got  wind  of 
his  departure,  than  they  pounced  down  upon  the  premises  and 
sealed  up  everything.  From  the  housekeeper's  distress,  they 
thought  there  was  no  will ;  but  they  soon  found  their  mistake,  and 
that  there  was  one  without  a  flaw.  When  it  was  opened,  and  they 
learned  the  disposition  of  the  testator's  principal  property,  in  favor 
of  Dame  Jacintha  and  the  little  girl,  they  pronounced  his  funeral 
oration  in  terms  not  a  little  disparaging  to  his  memory.    They  gave 


ADVENTVRES'OF  GIL  BIAS.  85 

a  broad  apostrophe  at  the  same  time  to  the  godly  legatee,  and  a 
few  blessings  to  me  in  my  turn.  It  must  be  owned  I  had  earned 
them.  The  licentiate, — Heaven  reward  him  for  it, — to  secure  my 
remembrances  through  life,  expressed  himself  thus  in  a  paragraph 
of  his  will :— "  Item,  as  Gil  Bias  has  already  some  little  smattering 
of  literature,  to  encourage  his  studious  habits,  I  give  and  bequeath 
to  him  my  library,  all  my  books  and  my  manuscripts,  without  any 
drawback  or  exception." 

I  could  not  conceive  where  this  sa^d  library  might  be;  I  had 
never  seen  any.  I  only  knew  of  some  papers,  with  five  or  six 
bound  books,  on  two  little  deal  shelves  in  my  master's  closet ;  and 
that  was  my  legacy.  The  books  could  be  of  no  great  use  to  me;  the 
title  of  one  was.  The  Complete  Man  Cook ;  another,  A  Treatise  on 
Indigestion,  with  the  Methods  of  Cure ;  the  rest  were  the  four  parts 
of  the  breviary,  half  eaten  up  by  worms.  In  the  article  of  manu- 
scripts, the  most  curious  consisted  of  documents  relating  to  a  lawsuit 
in  which  the  prebendary  was  once  engaged  for  his  stall.  After 
having  examined  my  legacy  with  more  minuteness  than  it  deserved, 
I  made  over  my  right  and  title  to  these  invidious  relations.  I  even 
renounced  my  livery,  and  took  back  my  own  suit,  claiming  my 
wages  as  my  only  reward.  I  then  went  to  look  out  for  another 
place.  As  for  Dame  Jacintha,  besides  her  residue  under  the  will, 
she  had  ^ome  snug  little  articles,  which  by  the  help  of  her  good 
friend  she  had  appropriated  to  her  own  use  during  the  last  illness 
L      of  the  licentiate. 


CHAPTER   III. 


GIL  BLAS  ENTEB8  INTO  DOCTOR  SANGEADO'S  SERVICE,  AND   BECOMES  ▲ 
FAMOUS  PRACTITIONER. 

I  DETERMINED  to  throw  myself  in  the  way  of  Signer  Arias  de 
Londona,  and  to  look  out  for  a  new  berth  in  his  register ;  but  as 
I  was  on  my  way  to  No  Thoroughfare,  who  should  come  across  rae 
but  Doctor  Sangrado,  whom  I  had  not  seen  since  the  day  of  my 
master's  death.  I  took  the  liberty  of  touching  my  hat.  He  recog- 
nized me  in  a  twinkling,  though  I  had  changed  my  dress ;  and  with 
as  much  warmth  as  his  temperament  would  allow  him :  "  Heyday  I" 
said  he,  "  the  very  lad  I  wanted  to  see  ;  you  have  never  been  out  of 
my  thoughts.  I  have  occasion  for  a  clever  fellow  about  me,  and 
pitched  upon  you  as  the  very  thing,  if  you  can  read  and  write." 


86  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

"Sir,"  replied  I,  "if  that  is  all  you  require,  I  am  your  man."  "In 
that  case,"  rejoined  he,  "  we  need  look  no  further.  Come  home 
with  me;  it  will  be  all  comfort;  I  shall  behave  to  you  like  a  brother. 
You  will  have  no  wages,  but  everything  will  be  found  you.  You 
shall  eat  and  drink  according  to  the  true  faith,  and  be  taught  to 
cure  all  diseases.  In  a  word,  you  shall  rather  be  my  young  San- 
grado  than  my  footman." 

I  closed  in  with  the  doctor's  proposal,  in  the  hope  of  becoming  an 
Esculapiua  under  so  inspired  a  master.  He  carried  me  home  on 
the  spur  of  the  occasion,  to  install  me  in  my  honorable  employ- 
ment, which  honorable  employment  consisted  in  writing  down  the 
name  and  residence  of  the  patients  who  sent  for  him  in  his  absence. 
There  had  indeed  been  a  register  for  this  purpose,  kept  by  an  old 
domestic;  but  she  had  not  the  gift  of  spelling  accurately,  and  wrote 
a  most  perplexing  hand.  This  account  I  was  to  keep.  It  might 
truly  be  called  a  bill  of  mortality,  for  my  members  all  went  from 
bad  to  worse  during  the  short  time  they  continued  in  this  system. 
I  was  a  sort  of  bookkeeper  for  the  other  world,  to  take  places  in  the 
stage,  and  to  see  that  the  first  come  were  the  first  served.  My  pen 
was  always  in  my  hand,  for  Doctor  Sangrado  had  more  practice 
than  any  physician  of  his  time  in  Valladolid.  He  had  got  into 
reputation  with  the  public  by  a  certain  professional  slang,  humored 
by  a  medical  face,  and  some  extraordinary  cases,  more  honored  by 
implicit  faith  than  scrupulous  investigation. 

He  was  in  no  want  of  patients,  nor  consequently  of  property.  He 
did  not  keep  the  best  house  in  the  world  ;  we  lived  with  some  little 
attention  to  economy.  The  usual  bill  of  fare  consisted  of  peas, 
beans,  boiled  apples  or  cheese.  He  considered  this  food  as  best 
suited  to  the  human  stomach,  that  is  to  say,  as  most  amenable  to 
the  grinders,  whence  it  was  to  encounter  the  process  of  digestion. 
Nevertheless,  easy  as  was  their  passage,  he  was  not  for  stopping  the 
way  with  too  much  of  them ;  and,  to  be  sure,  he  was  in  the  right. 
But  though  he  cautioned  the  maid  and  me  against  repletion  in 
respect  of  solids,  it  was  made  up  by  free  permission  to  drink  as 
much  water  as  we  liked.  Far  from  prescribing  us  any  limits  there, 
he  would  tell  us  sometimes :  "  Drink,  my  children ;  health  consists 
in  the  pliability  and  moisture  of  the  parts.  Drink  water  by  pail- 
fuls— it  is  a  universal  dissolvent ;  water  liquefies  all  the  salts.  Is  the 
course  of  the  blood  a  little  sluggish?  this  grand  principle  sets  it 
forward;  too  rapid?  its  career  is  checked."  Our  doctor  was  so 
orthodox  on  this  head,  that  he  drank  nothing  himself  but  water, 
though  advanced  in  years.  He  defined  old  age  to  be  a  natural  con- 
sumption which  dries  us  up  and  wastes  us  away ;  on  this  principle, 
he  deplored  the  ignorance  of  those  who  call  wine  old  men's  milk. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  87 

He  maintained  that  wine  wears  them  out  and  corrodes  them,  and 
pleaded  with  all  the  force  of  eloquence  against  that  liquor,  fatal  in 
common  both  to  the  young  and  old,  that  friend  with  a  serpent  in  its 
bosom,  that  pleasure  with  a  dagger  under  its  girdle. 

In  spite  of  these  fine  arguments,  at  the  end  of  a  week,  a  looseness 
ensued,  with  some  twinges,  which  I  was  blasphemous  enough  to 
saddle  on  the  universal  dissolvent  and  the  new-fashioned  diet.  I 
stated  my  symptoms  to  my  master,  in  the  hope  he  would  relax  the 
rigor  of  his  regimen,  and  qualify  my  meals  with  a  little  wine ;  but 
his  hostility  to  that  liquor  was  inflexible.  "  If  you  have  not  philos- 
ophy enough,"  said  he,  "  for  pure  water,  there  are  innocent  infusions 
to  strengthen  the  stomach  against  the  nausea  of  aqueous  quaffings. 
Sage,  for  example,  has  a  very  pretty  flavor;  and  if  you  wish  to 
heighten  it  into  a  debauch,  it  is  only  mixing  rosemary,  wild  poppy, 
and  other  simples,  but  no  compounds." 

In  vain  did  he  crack  off  his  water,  and  teach  me  the  secret  of 
composing  delicious  messes.  I  was  so  abstemious,  that,  remarking 
my  moderation,  he  said :  "  In  good  sooth,  Gil  Bias,  I  marvel  not 
that  you  are  no  better  than  you  are ;  you  do  not  drink  enough,  my 
friend.  Water  taken  in  a  small  quantity  serves  only  to  separate 
the  particles  of  bile  and  set  them  in  action ;  but  our  practice  is  to 
drown  them  in  a  copious  drench.  Fear  not,  my  good  lad,  lest  a 
superabundance  of  liquid  should  either  weaken  or  chill  your 
stomach ;  far  from  thy  better  judgment  be  that  silly  fear  of  un- 
adulterated drink.  I  will  insure  you  against  all  consequences;  and 
if  my  authority  will  not  serve  your  turn,  read  Celsus.  That  oracle 
of  the  ancients  makes  an  admirable  panegyric  on  water ;  in  short, 
he  says  in  plain  terms  that  those  who  plead  an  inconstant  stomach 
in  favor  of  wine,  publish  a  libel  on  their  own  bowels,  and  make  their 
organization  a  pretence  for  their  sensuality." 

As  it  would  have  been  ungenteel  in  me  to  have  run  riot  on  my 
entrance  in  the  career  of  practice,  I  affected  thorough  conviction, 
indeed  I  thought  there  was  something  in  it.  I  therefore  went  on 
drinking  water  on  the  authority  of  Celsus,  or,  to  speak  in  scientific 
terms,  I  began  to  drown  the  bile  in  copious  drenches  of  that  un- 
adulterated li.quor ;  and  though  I  felt  myself  more  out  of  order  from 
day  to  day,  prejudice  won  the  cause  against  experience.  It  is 
evident,  therefore,  that  I  was  in  the  right  road  to  the  practice  of 
physic.  Yet  I  could  not  always  be  insensible  to  the  qualms  which 
increased  in  my  frame,  to  that  degree,  as  to  determine  me  on 
quitting  Doctor  Sangrado.  But  he  invested  me  with  a  new  office 
which  changed  my  tone.  "  Hark  you,  my  child,"  said  he  to  me 
one  day,  "  I  am  not  one  of  those  hard  and  ungrateful  masters  who 
leave  their  household  to  grow  gray  in  service  without  a  suitable 


88  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

reward.  I  am  well  pleased  with  you,  I  have  a  regard  for  you,  and 
without  waiting  till  you  have  served  your  time,  I  will  make  your 
fortune.  Without  more  ado,  I  will  initiate  you  in  the  healing  art, 
of  which  I  have  for  so  many  years  been  at  the  head.  Other  physi- 
cians make  the  science  to  consist  of  various  unintelligible  branches ; 
but  I  will  shorten  the  road  for  you,  and  dispense  with  the  drudgery 
of  studying  natural  philosophy,  pharmacy,  botany,  and  anatomy. 
Remember,  my  friend,  that  bleeding  and  drinking  warm  water  are 
the  two  grand  principles — the  true  secret  of  curing  all  the  distempers 
incident  to  humanity.  Yes,  this  marvellous  secret  which  I  reveal 
to  you,  and  which  Nature,  beyond  the  reach  of  my  colleagues,  has 
failed  in  rescuing  from  my  pen,  is  comprehended  in  these  two 
articles,  namely,  bleeding  and  drenching.  Here  you  have  the  sum 
total  of  my  philosophy  ;  you  are  thoroughly  bottomed  in  medicine, 
^nd  may  raise  yourself  to  the  summit  of  fame  on  the  shoulders  of 
my  long  experience.  You  may  enter  into  partnership  at  once,  by 
keeping  the  books  in  the  morning,  and  going  out  to  visit  patients 
in  the  afternoon.  While  I  dose  the  nobility  and  clergy,  you  shall 
labor  in  your  vocation  among  the  lower  orders;  and  when  you 
have  felt  your  ground  a  little,  I  will  get  you  admitted  into  our 
body.  You  are  a  philosopher,  Gil  Bias,  though  you  have  never 
graduated ;  the  common  herd  of  them,  though  they  have  graduated 
in  due  form  and  order,  are  likely  to  run  out  the  length  of  their 
tether  without  knowing  their  right  hand  from  their  left." 

I  thanked  the  doctor  for  having  so  speedily  enabled  me  to  serve 
as  his  deputy ;  and  by  way  of  acknowledging  his  goodness,  pro- 
mised to  follow  his  system  to  the  end  of  my  career,  with  a  mag- 
nanimous indifference  about  the  aphorisms  of  Hippocrates.  But  that 
engagement  was  not  to  be  taken  to  the  letter.  This  tender  attach- 
ment to  water  went  against  the  grain,  and  I  had  a  scheme  for  drinking 
wine  every  day  snugly  among  the  patients.  I  left  off  wearing  my 
own  suit  a  second  time,  to  take  up  one  of  my  master's,  and  look 
like  an  inveterate  practitioner;  after  which  I  brought  my  medical 
theories  into  play,  leaving  them  to  look  to  the  event  whom  it  might 
concern.  I  began  on  an  alguazil  in  a  pleurisy ;  he  was  condemned 
to  be  bled  with  the  utmost  rigor  of  the  law,  at  the  same  time  that 
the  system  was  to  be  replenished  copiously  with  water.  Next  I 
made  a  lodgment  in  the  veins  of  a  gouty  pastry-cook,  who  roared 
like  a  lion  by  reason  of  gouty  spasms.  I  stood  on  no  more  ceremony 
with  his  blood  than  with  that  of  the  alguazil,  and  laid  no  restric- 
tion on  his  taste  for  simple  liquids.  My  prescriptions  brought  me 
in  twelve  rials,  an  incident  so  auspicious  in  my  professional  career, 
that  I  only  wished  for  the  plagues  of  Egypt  on  all  the  hale  subjects 
of  Valladolid.    As  I  was  coming  out  of  the  pastry-cook's,  whom 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  89 

should  I  meet  but  Fabricio,  a  total  stranger  since  the  death  of  the 
licentiate  Sedillo !  He  looked  at  me  with  astonishment  for  some 
seconds  ;  then  set  up  a  laugh  with  all  his  might,  and  held  his  sides. 
He  had  no  reason  to  be  gr'ave,  for  I  had  a  cloak  trailing  on  the 
ground,  with  a  doublet  and  breeches  of  four  times  my  natural 
dimensions.  I  was  certainly  a  complete  original.  I  suffered  him 
to  make  merry  as  long  as  he  liked,  and  could  scarcely  help  joining 
in  the  ridicule ;  but  I  kept  a  guard  on  my  muscles  to  preserve  a 
becoming  dignity  in  public,  and  the  better  to  enact  the  physician, 
whose  part  in  society  is  not  that  of  a  buffoon.  If  the  absurdity  of 
my  appearance  excited  Fabricio's  merriment,  my  affected  gravity 
added  zest  to  it ;  and  when  he  had  nearly  exhausted  his  lungs,  "  By 
all  the  powers,  Gil  Bias,"  quoth  he,  "  thou  art  in  complete  mas- 
querade. Who  the  devil  has  dressed  you  up  in  this  manner?" 
"  Fairly  and  softly,  my  friend,"  replied  I,  "  fairly  and  softly ;  be  a 
little  on  your  good  behavior  with  a  modern  Hippocrates.  Under- 
stand me  to  be  the  substitute  of  Doctor  Sangrado,  the  most  eminent 
physician  in  Valladolid.  I  have  lived  with  him  these  three  weeks. 
He  has  bottomed  me  thoroughly  in  medicine ;  and  as  he  cannot 
perform  the  obsequies  of  all  the  patients  who  send  for  him,  I  visit  a 
part  of  them  to  take  the  burden  off  his  conscience.  He  does  execu- 
tion in  great  families,  I  among  the  vulgar."  "  Vastly  well,"  replied 
Fabricio ;  "  that  is  to  say,  he  grants  you  a  lease  on  the  blood  of  the 
commonalty,  but  keeps  to  himself  the  fee-simple  of  the  fashionable 
world.  I  wish  you  joy  of  your  lot ;  it  is  a  pleasanter  line  of  prac- 
tice among  the  populace  than  among  great  folk.  Long  live  a  snug 
connection  in  the  suburbs !  A  man's  mistakes  are  easily  buried,  and 
his  murders  elude  all  but  God's  revenge.  Yes,  my  brave  boy,  your 
destiny  is  truly  enviable;  in  the  language  of  Alexander,  were  I 
not  Fabricio,  I  could  wish  to  be  Gil  Bias." 

To  show  the  son  of  Nunez,  the  barber,  that  he  was  not  much  out 
in  his  reckoning  on  my  present  happiness,  I  chinked  the  fees  of  the 
alguazil  and  the  pastry-cook ;  and  this  was  followed  by  an  adjourn- 
ment to  a  tavern,  to  drink  to  their  perfect  recovery.  The  wine  was 
very  fair,  and  my  impatience  for  the  well-known  smack  made  me 
think  it  better  than  it  was.  I  took  some  good  long  draughts,  and 
without  gainsaying  the  Latin  oracle,  in  proportion  as  I  poured  it 
into  its  natural  reservoir,  I  felt  my  accommodating  entrails  to  owe 
me  no  grudge  for  the  hard  service  into  which  I  pressed  them.  As 
for  Fabricio  and  myself,  we  sat  some  time  in  the  tavern,  making 
merry  at  the  expense  of  our  masters,  as  servants  are  too  much  ac- 
customed to  do.  At  last,  seeing  the  night  approach,  we  parted,  after 
engaging  to  meet  at  the  same  place  on  the  following  day  after 
dinner. 


90  AVVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

GIL  BLAS  GOES  ON  PRACTICING  PHYSIC  WITH  EQUAL  SUCCESS  AND 
ABILITY.     ADVENTURE  OF  THE  BECOVEBED  BING. 

I  WAS  no  sooner  at  home  than  Doctor  Sangrado  came  in.  1 
talked  to  him  about  the  patients  I  had  seen,  and  paid  into  his 
haD,d9  eight  remaining  rials  of  the  twelve  I  had  received  for  my 
prescriptions.  "Eight  rials!"  said  he,  as  he  counted  them;  "mighty 
little  for  two  visits  I  But  we  must  take  things  as  we  find  them." 
In  the  spirit  of  taking  things  as  he  found  them,  he  laid  violent 
hands  on  six,  giving  me  the  other  two.  "Here,  Gil  Bias,"  continued 
he,  "  see  what  a  foundation  to  build  upon.  I  make  over  to  you  the 
fourth  of  all  you  may  bring  me.  You  will  soon  feather  your  nest, 
my  friend ;  for,  by  the  blessing  of  Providence,  there  will  be  a  great 
deal  of  ill  health  this  year." 

I  had  reason  to  be  content  with  my  dividend,  since,  having  de- 
termined to  keep  back  the  third  part  of  what  I  received  in  my 
rounds,  and  afterwards  touching  another  fourth  of  the  remainder, 
half  of  the  whole,  if  the  arithmetic  is  anything  more  than  a  decep- 
tion, would  become  my  perquisite.  This  inspired  me  with  new  ze?! 
for  my  profession.  The  next  day,  as  soon  as  I  had  dined,  I  resumed 
my  medical  paraphernalia,  and  took  the  field  once  more.  I  visited 
several  patients  on  the  list,  and  treated  their  several  complaints  in 
one  invariable  routine.  Hitherto  things  went  on  under  the  rose,  and 
no  individual,  thank  Heaven,  had  risen  up  in  rebellion  against  my 
prescriptions.  But  let  a  physician's  cures  be  as  extraordinary  as 
they  will,  some  quack  or  other  is  always  ready  to  rip  up  his  reputa- 
tion. I  was  called  in  to  a  grocer's  son  in  a  dropsy.  Whom  should 
I  find  there  before  me  but  a  little  black-looking  physician,  by  name 
Doctor  Cuchillo,  introduced  by  a  relation  of  the  family.  I  bowed 
round  most  profoundly,  but  dipped  lowest  to  the  personage  whom  I 
took  to  have  been  invited  to  a  consultation  with  me.  He  returned 
my  compliment  with  a  distant  air ;  then,  having  stared  me  in  the 
face  for  a  few  seconds, — "Signor  Doctor,"  said  he,  "I  beg  pardon 
for  being  inquisitive ;  I  thought  I  had  been  acquainted  with  all  my 
brethren  in  Valladolid,  but  I  confess  your  physiognomy  is  altogether 
new.  You  must  have  been  settled  but  a  short  time  in  town."  I 
avowed  myself  a  young  practitioner,  acting  as  yet  under  the  direc- 
tion of  Doctor  Sangrado.  "  I  wish  you  joy,"  replied  he,  politely ; 
"you  are  studying  under  a  great  man.  You  must  doubtless  have 
seen  a  vast  deal  of  sound  practice,  young  as  you  appear  to  be."  He 
spoke  this  with  so  easy  an  assurance,  that  I  was  at  a  loss  whether 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  91 

he  meant  it  seriously,  or  was  laughing  at  me.  While  I  was  conning 
over  my  reply,  the  grocer,  seizing  on  the  opportunity,  said, — "  Gen- 
tlemen, I  am  persuaded  of  your  both  being  perfectly  competent  in 
your  art ;  have  the  goodness  without  ado  to  take  the  case  in  hand, 
and  devise  some  effectual  means  for  the  restoration  of  my  son's 
health." 

Thereupon  the  little  pulse-counter  set  himself  about  reviewing 
the  patient's  situation ;  and  after  having  dilated  to  me  on  all  the 
symptoms,  asked  me  what  I  thought  the  fittest  method  of  treatment. 
"  I  am  of  opinion,"  replied  I,  "  that  he  should  be  bled  once  a  day, 
and  drink  as  much  warm  water  as  he  can  swallow."  At  these 
words,  our  diminutive  doctor  said  to  me,  with  a  malicious  simper, — 
"And  so  you  think  such  a  course  will  save  the  patient?"  "Never 
doubt  it,"  exclaimed  I,  in  a  confident  tone ;  "  it  must  produce  that 
effect,  because  it  is  a  certain  method  of  cure  for  all  distempers. 
Ask  Signor  Sangrado."  "  At  that  rate,"  retorted  he,  "  Celsus  is 
altogether  in  the  wrong,  for  he  contends  that  the  readiest  way  to 
cure  a  dropsical  subject  is  to  let  him  almost  die  of  hunger  and 
thirst,"  "  Oh  1  as  for  Celsus,"  interrupted  I,  "  he  is  no  oracle  of 
mine — as  fallible  as  the  meanest  of  us ;  I  often  have  occasion  to  bless 
myself  for  going  contrary  to  his  dogmas."  "I  discover  by  your 
language,"  said  Cuchillo,  "the  safe  and  sure  method  of  practice 
Doctor  Sangrado  instills  into  his  pupils.  Bleeding  and  drenching 
are  the  extent  of  his  resources.  No  wonder  so  many  .worthy  people 
are  cut  off  under  his  direction."  .  .  .  "No  defamation  I"  inter- 
rupted I,  with  some  acrimony  ;  "  a  member  of  the  faculty  had  better 
not  begin  throwing  stones."  "  Come,  come,  my  learned  doctor, 
patients  can  get  to  the  other  world  without  bleeding  and  warm 
water;  and  I  question  whether  the  most  deadly  of  us  has  ever 
signed  more  passports  than  yourself."  "  If  you  have  any  crow  to 
pluck  with  Signor  Sangrado,  write  against  him,  he  will  answer  you, 
and  we  shall  soon  see  who  will  have  the  best  of  the  battle."  "  By 
all  the  saints  in  the  calendar !"  swore  he,  in  a  transport  of  passion, 
"  you  little  know  whom  you  are  talking  to.  I  have  a  tongue  and  a 
fist,  my  friend,  and  am  not  afraid  of  Sangrado,  who,  with  all  his 
arrogance  and  affectation,  is  but  a  ninny."  The  size  of  the  little 
death-dealer  made  me  hold  his  anger  cheap.  I  gave  him  a  sharp 
retort ;  he  sent  back  as  good  as  I  brought,  till  at  last  we  came  to 
cuffs.  We  had  pulled  a  few  handfuls  of  hair  from  each  other's 
heads  before  the  grocer  and  his  kinsman  could  part  us.  When 
they  had  brought  this  about,  they  paid  me  for  my  attendance,  and 
retained  my  antagonist,  whom  they  thought  the  more  skillful  of  the 
two. 

Another  adventure  succeeded  close  on  the  heels  of  this.   I  went  to 


92  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

see  a  huge  chanter  in  a  fever.  As  soon  as  he  heard  me  talk  of  warm 
water,  he  showed  himself  so  averse  to  this  specific,  as  to  fall  into  a 
fit  of  swearing.  He  abused  me  in  all  possible  shapes,  and  threatened 
to  throw  me  out  at  the  window.  I  was  in  a  greater  hurry  to  get  out  of 
his  house  than  to  get  in.  I  did  not  choose  to  see  any  more  patients 
that  day,  and  repaired  to  the  inn  where  I  had  agreed  to  meet  Fab- 
ricio.  He  was  there  first.  As  we  found  ourselves  in  a  tippling 
humor,  we  drank  hard,  and  returned  to  our  employers  in  a  pretty 
pickle,' that  is  to  say,  so-so  in  the  upper  story.  Signer  Sangrado 
was  not  aware  of  my  being  drunk,  because  he  took  the  lively  ges- 
tures which  accompanied  the  relation  of  my  quarrel  with  the  little 
doctor  for  an  effect  of  the  agitation  not  yet  subsided  after  the 
battle.  Besides,  he  came  in  for  his  share  in  my  report;  and  feeling 
himself  nettled  by  Cuchillo,— "  You  have  done  well,  Gil  Bias,"  said 
he,  "  to  defend  the  character  of  our  practice  against  this  little  abor- 
tion of  the  faculty.  So  he  takes  upon  him  to  set  hia  face  against 
watery  drenches  in  dropsical  cases  ?  An  ignorant  fellow !  I  main- 
tain, I  do,  in  my  own  person,  that  the  use  of  them  may  be  re- 
conciled to  the  best  theories.  Yes,  water  is  a  cure  for  all  sorts  of 
dropsies,  just  as  it  is  good  for  rheumatism  and  the  green  sickness. 
It  is  excellent,  too,  in  those  fevers  where  the  effect  is  at  once  to 
parch  and  to  chill,  and  even  miraculous  in  those  disorders  ascribed 
to  cold,  thin,  phlegmatic,  and  pituitous  humors.  This  opinion  may 
appear  strange  to  young  practitioners  like  Cuchillo,  but  it  is  right 
orthodox  in  the  best  and  soundest  systems:  so  that  if  persons  of 
that  description  were  capable  of  taking  a  philosophical  view,  instead 
of  crying  me  down,  they  would  become  my  most  zealous  advocates." 

In  his  rage,  he  never  suspected  me  of  drinking :  for^  to  exasperate 
him  still  more  against  the  little  doctor,  I  had  thrown  into  my  recital 
some  circumstances  of  my  own  addition.  Yet,  engrossed  as  he  was 
by  what  I  had  told  him,  he  could  not  help  taking  notice  that  I  drank 
more  water  than  usual  that  evening. 

In  fact,  the  wine  had  made  me  very  thirsty.  Any  one  but  San- 
grado would  have  distrusted  my  being  so  very  dry  as  to  swallow 
down  glass  after  glass ;  but  as  for  him,  he  took  it  for  granted,  in  the 
simplicity  of  his  heart,  that  I  began  to  acquire  a  relish  for  aqueous 
potations.  "  Apparently,  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  with  a  gracious  smile, 
"you  have  no  longer  such  a  dislike  to  water.  As  Heaven  is  my 
judge !  you  quaff  it  off  like  nectar.  It  is  no  wonder,  my  friend  ;  I 
waa  certain  you  would  take  a  liking  to  that  liquor."  "  Sir,"  replied 
I,  "there  is  a  tide  in  the  affairs  of  men  :  with  my  present  lights,  I 
would  give  all  the  wine  in  Valladolid  for  a  pint  of  water."  This 
answer  delighted  the  doctor,  who  would  not  lose  so  fine  an  opportu- 
nity of  expatiating  on  the  excellence  of  water.    He  undertook  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  93 

ring  the  changes  once  more  in  its  praise,  not  like  a  hireling  pleader, 
but  as  an  enthusiast  in  the  cause.  "  A  tliousand  times,"  exclaimed 
he,  "  a  thousand  and  a  thousand  times  of  greater  value,  as  being 
more  innocent  than  our  modern  taverns,  were  those  baths  of  agea 
past,  whither  the  people  went,  not  shamefully  to  squander  their 
fortunes  and  expose  their  lives  by  swilling  themselves  with  wine,  but 
assembled  there  for  the  decent  and  economical  amusement  of  drink- 
ing warm  water.  It  is  difficult  to  admire  the  patriotic  forecast 
of  those  ancient  politicians,  who  established  places  of  public  resort, 
where  water  was  dealt  out  gratis  to  all  comers,  and  who  confined  wine 
to  the  shops  of  the  apothecaries,  that  its  use  might  be  prohibited, 
but  under  the  direction  of  physicians.  What  a  stroke  of  wisdom  I 
It  is -doubtless  to  preserve  the  seeds  of  that  antique  frugality,  em- 
blematic of  the  golden  age,  that  persons  are  found  to  this  day,  like 
you  and  me,  who  drink  nothing  but  water,  and  are  persuaded  they 
possess  a  prevention  or  a  cure  for  every  ailment,  provided  our  warm 
water  has  never  boiled ;  for  I  have  observed  that  water  wheu  it  has 
boiled  is  heavier,  and  sits  less  easily  on  the  stomach." 

.While  he  was  holding  forth  thus  eloquently,  I  was  in  danger 
more  than  once  of  splitting  my  sides  with  laughing.  But  I  con- 
trived to  keep  my  countenance :  nay,  more,  to  chime  in  with  the 
doctor's  theory.  I  found  fault  with  the  use  of  wine,  and  pitied 
mankind  for  having  contracted  an  untoward  relish  for  so  pernicious 
a  beverage.  Then_,  finding  my  thirst  not  sufficiently  allayed,  I  filled 
a  large  goblet  with  water,  and  after  having  swilled  it  like  a  horse : 
"Come,  sir,"  said  I  to  my  master,  "  let  us  drink  plentifully  of  this 
beneficial  liquor.  Let  us  make  those  early  establishments  of  dilu- 
tion you  so  much  regret  to  live  again  in  your  house."  He  clapped 
his  hands  in  ecstasy  at  these  words,  and  preached  to  me  for  a  whole 
hour  about  suffering  no  liquid  but  water  to  pass  my  lips.  To  con- 
firm the  habit,  I  promised  to  drink  a  large  quantity  every  evening ; 
and  to  keep  my  word  with  less  violence  to  my  private  inclinations, 
I  went  to  bed  with  a  determined  purpose  of  going  to  the  tavern 
every  day. 

The  trouble  I  had  got  into  at  the  grocer's  did  not  discourage  me 
from  phlebotomizing  and  prescribing  warm  water  in  the  usual 
course.  Coming  out  of  a  house  where  I  had  been  visiting  a  poet  in 
a  frenzy,  I  was  accosted  in  the  street  by  an  old  woman,  who  came 
up  and  asked  me  if  I  was  a  physician.  I  said  "  Yes."  "  Ag  that  is 
the  case,  I  entreat  you  with  all  humility  to  go  along  with  me.  My 
niece  has  been  ill  since  yesterday,  and  I  cannot  conceive  what  is  the 
matter  with  her."  I  followed  the  old  lady  to  her  house,  where  I 
was  shown  into  a  very  decent  room,  occupied  by  a  female  who  kept 
her  bed.    I  went  near,  to  consider  her  case.   Her  features  struck  me 


94  ADVENTURE fi  OF  Git  BIAS. 

from  the  first,  and  I  discovered,  beyond  the  possibility  of  a  mistake, 
after  having  looked  at  her  some  little  time,  the  she-adventurer  who 
had  played  the  part  of  Camilla  so  adroitly.  For  her  part,  she  did 
not  seem  to  recollect  me  at  ail,  whether  from  the  oppression  of  her 
disorder,  or  from  my  dress  as  a  physician  rendering  me  not  easy  to 
be  known  again.  I  took  her  by  the  hand,  to  feel  her  pulse,  and  saw 
my  ring  upon  her  finger.  I  v;a»  all  in  a  twitter  at  the  discovery  of 
a  valuable  on  which  I  had  a  claim,  both  in  law  and  equity.  Great 
was  my  longing  to  make  a  snatch  at  it;  but  considering  that  these 
fair  ones  would  set  up  a  great  scream,  and  that  Don  Raphael,  or 
some  other  defender  of  injured  innocence,  might  rush  in  to  their 
rescue,  I  laid  an  embargo  on  my  privateering.  I  thought  it  best  to 
come  by  my  own  in  an  honest  way,  and  to  consult  Fabricio  about 
the  means.  To  this  last  course  I  stuck.  In  the  meantime  the  old 
wo"man  urged  me  to  inform  her  with  what  disease  her  niece  was 
troubled.  I  was  not  fool  enough  to  own  my  ignorance ;  on  the  con- 
trary, I  took  upon  myself  as  a  man  of  science,  and,  after  my  master's 
example,  pronounced  solemnly  that  the  disorder  accrued  to  the 
patient  from  the  defect  of  natural  perspiration ;  that  consequently 
she  must  lose  blood  as  soon  as  possible,  because  if  we  could  not 
open  one  pore,  we  always  opened  another ;  and  I  finished  my  pre- 
scription with  warm  water,  to  do  the  thing  methodically. 

I  shortened  my  visit  as  much  as  possible,  and  ran  to  the  son  of 
Nunez,  whom  I  met  just  as  he  was  going  out  on  an  errand  for  his 
master.  I  told  him  my  new  adventure,  and  asked  his  advice  about 
laying  an  information  against  Camilla.  "  Pooh  1  Nonsense !"  re- 
plied he;  "that  would  not  be  the  way  to  get  your  ring  again.  Those 
gentry  think  restitution  double  trouble.  Call  to  mind  your  im- 
prisonment at  Astorga ;  your  horse,  your  money,  your  very  clothes, 
did  they  not  all  centre  in  the  hands  of  justice  ?  We  must  rather  set 
our  wits  to  work  for  the  recovery  of  your  diamond.  I  take  on  myself 
the  charge  of  inventing  some  stratagem  for  that  purpose.  I  will 
deliberate  on  it  on  my  way  to  the  hospital,  where  I  have  but  to  say 
two  words  from  my  master  to  the  purveyor.  Do  you  wait  for  me 
at  our  house  of  call,  and  do  not  be  on  the  fret.  I  will  be  with  you 
shortly." 

I  had  waited,  however,  more  than  three  hours  at  the  appointed 
place  when  he  arrived.  I  did  not  know  him  again  at  first.  Besides 
that  he  had  changed  his  dress  and  platted  his  hair,  a  pair  of  false 
whiskers  covered  half  his  face.  He  wore  an  immense  sword,  with  a 
hilt  of  at  least  three  feet  in  circumference,  and  marched  at  the  head 
of  five  men  of  as  swaggering  an  air  as  himself,  with  bushy  whiskers 
and  long  rapiers.  "  Good-day  to  you !  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  said  he  by 
way  of  salutation ;  "  behold  an  alguazil  upon  a  new  construction,  and 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  95 

marahalmen  of  like  materials  in  these  brave  fellows  my  companions. 
We  have  only  to  be  shown  where  the  woman  lodges  who  purloined 
the  diamond,  and  we  will  obtain  restitution,  take  my  word  for  it."  I 
hugged  Fabricio  at  this  discourse,  which  let  me  into  the  plot,  and  tes- 
tified loudly  my  approval  of  the  expedient.  I  paid  my  respects  also  to 
the  masquerading  marshalmen.  They  were  three  servants  and  two 
journeymen  barbers  of  his  acquaintance,  whom  he  had  engaged  to 
act  this  farce.  I  ordered  wine  to  be  served  round  to  the  detach- 
ment, and  we  all  went  together  at  nightfall  to  Camilla's  residence. 
The  door  was  shut,  and  we  knocked.  The  old  woman,  taking  my 
companions  to  be  on  the  scent  of  justice,  and  knowing  that  they 
would  not  come  into  that  neighborhood  for  nothing,  was  terribly 
frightened.  "  Cheer  up  again,  good  mother,"  said  Fabricio  ;  "  we  are 
only  come  here  upon  a  little  business,  which  will  soon  be  settled." 
At  these  words  we  made  our  entry,  and  found  our  way  to  the  sick- 
chamber,  under  the  guidance  of  the  old  dowager,  who  walked  before 
us,  and  by  favor  of  a  wax  taper  which  she  carried  in  a  silver  can- 
dlestick. I  took  the  light,  went  to  the  bedside,  and,  making 
Camilla  take  particular  notice  of  my  features,  "  Traitress,"  said  I, 
"  call  to  mind  the  too  credulous  Gil  Bias  whom  you  have  deceived. 
Ah  !  thou  wickedness  personified,  at  last  I  have  caught  thee.  The 
corregidor  has  taken  down  my  deposition,  and  ordered  this  alguazil 
to  arrest  you.  Come,  officer,"  said  I  to  Fabricio,  "  do  your  duty." 
"  There  is  no  need,"  replied  he,  swelling  his  voice,  "  to  inflame  my 
severity.  The  face  of  that  wretch  is  not  new  to  me :  she  has  long 
been  marked  with  red  letters  in  my  pocket-book.  Get  up,  my  prin- 
cess ;  dress  your  royal  person  with  all  possible  despatch.  I  will 
be  your  squire,  and  lodge  you  in  durance  vile,  if  you  have  no 
objection." 

At  these  words  Camilla,  ill  as  she  was,  observing  two  marshalmen 
with  large  whiskers  ready  to  drag  her  out  of  bed  by  main  force,  sat 
up  of  herself,  clasped  her  hands  in  an  attitude  of  supplication,  and, 
looking  at  :ne  ruefully,  said,  "  Signor  Gil  Bias,  have  compassion  on 
me ;  I  call  as  a  witness  to  my  entreaties  the  chaste  mother  whose 
virtues  you  inherit.  Guilty  as  I  am,  my  misfortunes  are  greater 
than  my  crimes.  I  will  give  you  back  your  diamond,  so  do  not  be 
my  ruin."  Speaking  to  this  effect,  she  drew  my  ring  from  her 
finger,  and  gave  it  me  back.  But  I  told  her  my  diamond  was  not 
enough,  and  that  she  must  refund  the  thousand  ducats  they  had 
embezzled  in  the  ready-furnished  lodging.  "  Oh !  as  for  your 
ducats,"  replied  she,  "  ask  me  not  about  them.  That  false-hearted 
deceiver,  Don  Raphael,  whom  I  have  not  seen  from  that  time  to 
this,  carried  them  off  the  very  same  night,"  "O,  ho!  my  little 
darling,"  said  Fabricio,  in  his  turn,  "that  will  not  doj  you  had  a 


96  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

hand  in  the  robbery,  whether  you  went  snacks  in  the  profit  or  no. 
You  will  not  come  off  so  cheaply.  Your  having  been  accessory  lo 
Don  Raphael's  manoeuvres  is  enough  to  render  you  liable  to  an 
examination.  Your  past  life  is  very  equivocal,  and  you  must  have 
a  good  deal  upon  your  conscience.  You  will  have  the  goodness,  if 
you  please,  just  to  step  into  the  town  jail,  and  there  unburden  your- 
self by  a  general  confession.  This  good  old  lady  shall  keei>  you 
company ;  it  is  strange  if  she  cannot  tell  a  world  of  curious  stories, 
such  as  Mr.  Corregidor  will  be  delighted  to  hear." 

At  these  words  the  two  women  brought  every  engine  of  pity  into 
play  to  soften  us.  They  filled  the  air  with  cries,  complaints,  and 
lamentations.  While  the  old  woman  on  her  knees,  sometimes 
to  the  alguazil  and  sometimes  to  his  attendants,  endeavored  to  melt 
their  stubborn  hearts,  Camilla  implored  me,  in  the  most  touching 
terms,  to  save  her  from  the  hands  of  justice.  I  pretended  to  relent. 
"  Officer,"  said  I  to  the  son  of  Nunez,  "  since  I  have  got  my  diamond, 
I  do  not  care  much  about  anything  else.  It  would  be  no  pleasure  to 
me  to  be  the  means  of  pain  to  that  poor  woman  ;  I  want  not  the  death 
of  a  sinner."  "  Out  upon  you !"  answered  he ;  "  you  set  up  for 
humanity  !  You  would  make  a  bad  tipstaff.  I  must  do  my  errand. 
My  positive  orders  are  to  arrest  these  virgins  of  the  sun  ;  his  honor 
the  corregidor  means  to  make  an  example  of  them."  "  Nay,  for 
mercy's  sake,"  replied  I,  "  pay  some  little  deference  to  my  wishes, 
and  slacken  a  little  of  your  severity,  on  the  ground  of  the  present 
these  ladias  are  on  the  point  of  offering  to  your  acceptance."  "  Oh ! 
that  is  another  matter,"  rejoined  he  ;  "  that  is  what  you  may  call  a 
figure  of  rhetoric  suited  to  all  capacities  and  all  occasions.  Well, 
then,  let  us  see :  what  have  they  to  give  me  ?"  "  I  have  a  pearl 
necklace,"  said  Camilla,  "and  drop  ear-rings  of  considerable  value." 
"Yes  ;  but,"  interrupted  he  roughly,  "  if  these  articles  are  the  pro- 
duce of  the  Philippine  Isles,  I  will  have  none  of  them."  "You 
may  take  them  in  perfect  safety,"  replied  she:  "I  warrant  them 
real."  At  the  same  time  she  made  the  old  woman  bring  a  little 
box,  whence  she  took  out  the  necklace  and  ear-rings,  which  she  put 
within  the  grasp  of  this  incorruptible  minister.  Though  he  was 
much  such  a  judge  of  jewelry  as  myself,  he  had  no.  doubt  of  the 
drops  being  real,  as  well  as  the  pearls.  "  These  trinkets,"  said  he, 
after  having  looked  at  them  minutely,  "  seem  to  be  of  good  quality 
and  fashion  ;  and  if  the  silver  candlestick  is  thrown  into  the  bar- 
gain, I  would  not  answer  to  my  own  honesty."  "  You  had  better 
not,"  said  I  in  my  turn  to  Camilla,  "for  a  trifle  reject  so  moderate 
and  fair  a  composition."  While  uttering  these  words,  I  returned  the 
taper  to  the  old  woman,  and  handed  the  candlestick  over  to  Fabricio, 
who,  stopping  there  because  perhaps  he  espied  nothing  else  that  was 


AD  VENTUREii  OF  GIL  BLAS.  97 

portable  in  the  room,  said  to  the  two  women :  "  Farewell,  my  dainty 
misses  :  set  your  hearts  at  rest ;  I  will  report  you  to  his  worship  the 
corregidor  as  purer  than  unsmutched  snow.  We  can  turn  him  round 
our  finger,  and  never  tell  him  the  truth  except  when  we  are  not 
paid  for  our  lies." 


CHAPTER  V. 


SEQUEL  OP  THE  FOREGOING  ADVENTURE.   GIL  BLAS  RETIRES  FROM 
PRACTICE,  AND  FROM  THE  NEIGHBORHOOD  OF  VALLADOLID. 

AFTER  having  thus  carried  Fabricio's  plan  into  effect,  we  took 
our  leave  of  Camilla's  lodging,  hugging  ourselves  on  a  suc- 
cess beyond  our  expectation  :  for  we  had  only  reckoned  on  the  ring. 
We  carried  off  without  ceremony  all  we  could  get  besides.  Far  from 
making  it  a  point  of  conscience  not  to  steal  from  a  description  of 
ladies  whose  names  iire  commonly  associated  with  rogues,  we 
thought  to  cover  some  scores  of  other  sins  by  so  meritorious  an 
action,  "  Gentlemen,"  said  Fabricio,  when  we  were  in  the  street, 
"  my  counsel  is  for  returning  to  our  tavern,  and  devoting  the  night  to 
a  regale.  To-morrow  we  will  sell  the  candlestick,  the  necklace,  the 
drop  ear-rings,  and  then  share  the  prize-money  like  brother  adven- 
turers, after  which  every  man  shall  tramp  home  again,  and  make 
the  best  excuse  he  can  to  his  master,"  His  worship  the  alguazil'a 
idea  seemed  equally  bright  and  judicious.  We  returned  rank  and 
file  to  the  tavern,  some  in  the  pious  hope  of  finding  a  plausible 
excuse  for  having  slept  abroad,  others  in  a  desperate  indifference 
about  being  turned  out  of  doors  without  a  character. 

We  ordered  a  good  supper  to  be  got  ready,  and  sat  down  to  the 
table  with  our  physical  and  mental  powers  in  full  vigor.  The  relish 
was  heightened  by  a  thousand  pleasant  anecdotes.  Fabricio,  of  all 
men  in  the  world,  having  the  happy  knack  of  a  chairman  in  a  com- 
pany of  jovial  spirits,  kept  the  table  in  a  roar.  There  escaped  from 
him  I  know  not  how  many  charges  of  true  Castilian  wit,  worth 
more  either  in  the  schools  of  philosophy  or  the  exchange  of  com- 
merce than  the  drug  of  Attic  salt.  While  we  were  in  a  full  peal  of 
laughter,  we  were  made  to  laugh  on  the  other  side  of  our  mouths  by 
an  unforeseen  occurrence.  There  appeared  at  table  a  man  of  no 
contemptible  prowess,  followed  by  two  other  as  ill-looking  dogs  as 
ever  existed.  After  these  specimens  we  had  three  others,  and  reck- 
oned up  to  a  dozen,  marching  in  by  triplets.  They  were  armed 
7 


98  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  ULAS. 

with  carbines,  swords  and  bayonets.  We  could  not  mistake  their 
office,  and  were  at  no  loss  to  guess  their  business.  At  first  we  had  a 
mind  to  be  refractory;  but  they  beset  us  in  an  instant,  and  kept  us 
under,  as  much  by  their  numbers  as  by  their  weapons.  "  Gentle- 
men," said  the  captain  commandant,  in  a  jeering  strain,  "  I  have 
been  informed  by  what  ingenious  artifice  you  have  recovered  a  ring 
from  the  custody  of  a  lady  no  better  than  she  should  be.  Undoubt- 
edly the  device  was  admirable,  and  well  deserves  a  civic  crown ; 
the  patriotism  of  our  police  will  not  be  found  wanting.  Justice, 
with  her  lodgings  to  let  for  gentry  of  your  description,  will  not  be 
deficient  in  her  acknowledgments  for  so  brilliant  a  display  of 
genius."  The  company  to  whom  this  introductory  address  was 
directed  looked  a  little  sheepish  on  the  occasion.  Our  countenances 
fell ;  and  Camilla  had  her  full  revenge.  Fabricio,  however,  though 
pale  and  puzzled,  made  an  attempt  at  a  defence.  "Sir,"  said  he, 
"  we  did  it  in  the  innocence  of  our  hearts,  and  of  course  we  shall  be 
forgiven  this  not  immoral  fraud  ?"  "  What  the  devil  1"  replied  the 
commandant,  in  a  rage;  "do  you  call  this  not  immoral  fraud? 
Moral  or  immoral,  it  may  bring  you  to  the  gallows.  Besides  that  the 
power  of  restitution  is  too  sacred  to  be  assumed  by  the  individual, 
you  have  made  away  with  a  candlestick,  a  necklace,  and  a  pair  of 
drop  ear-rings :  and  what  is  worse,  you  have  committed  your  ras- 
calities in  the  livery  of  the  law.  Scoundrels  dressing  themselves 
up  like  the  pillars  of  morality  to  undermine  its  very  foundation  I 
I  shall  wish  you  much  joy  if  you  are  condemned  to  nothing  worse 
than  mowing  the  salt  marsh."  When  we  had  impressed  it  on  our 
convictions  that  the  afiair  was  even  more  serious  than  our  first  fears, 
we  threw  ourseRes  on  his  mercy,  and  implored  him  to  have  pity  on 
our  tender  years  ;  but  his  stubborn  heart  was  relentless.  Moreover, 
he  rejected  the  proposal  of  relinquishing  the  necklace,  ear-rings,  and 
candlestick;  nay,  he  was  deaf  to  the  rhetoric  of  my  ring:  perhaps 
because  I  oflFered  it  before  too  many  witnesses  ,  in  short,  he  was  the 
most  obdurate  dog  of  his  kennel.  He  ordered  my  companions  to  be 
handcuffed,  and  sent  us  in  a  body  to  the  public  prison.  As  we  were 
on  our  way,  one  of  the  marshalmen  acquainted  me  that  Camilla's 
old  vixen,  suspecting  us  not  to  be  licensed  scouts  of  justice,  had 
dogged  us  to  the  tavern,  and  having  satisfied  her  doubts,  in  revenge 
informed  against  us  to  the  patrol. 

We  were  searched  in  the  first  instance.  Away  went  the  necklace, 
the  ear-rings,  and  the  candlestick.  They  picked  my  pocket  of  my 
ring,  and  my  ruby  of  the  Philippine  Isles,  without  even  sparing  the 
few  fees  I  had  received  in  the  forenoon  for  my  prescriptions ;  so 
that  it  was  plain  that  trade  was  carried  on  by  the  same  firm  at 
Valladolid  as  at  Astorga,  and  that  all  these  reformers  held  the  same 


I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  9» 

creed.  While  they  rifled  me  of  my  trinkets  and  money,  the  lord  in 
waiting  of  the  patrol  made  known  our  adventure  to  the  inferior 
agents  of  legal  rapine.  The  trespass  appeared  so  audacious  that  the 
majority  voted  it  capital.  A  few  kind  souls  were  of  opinion  that  we 
might  come  off  for  two  hunderd  lashes  apiece,  with  a  few  years  on 
board  the  galleys.  Waiting  his  worship's  sentence,  we  were  locked 
up  in  a  cell,  where  we  lay  upon  straw,  spread  over  our  stable  like  a 
litter  for  horses.  There  might  we  have  foddered  for  an  age,  and  at 
last  have  been  turned  out  to  grass  in  the  galleys,  if  on  the  morrow 
Signer  Manuel  Ordonnez  had  not  got  wind  of  our  affair,  and  deter- 
mined to  release  Fabricio,  which  he  could  not  do  without  making  a 
general  jail  delivery.  He  was  a  man  of  the  first  credit  in  the  town ; 
his  interest  was  exerted  for  us,  and  partly  by  his  own  influence,  and 
partly  by  that  of  his  friends,  he  obtained  our  enlargement  at  the  end 
of  three  days.  But  the  period  of  delivery  is  always  moulting  time 
with  jail  birds  ;_the  candlestick,  the  necklace,  the  ear-rings,  my 
ring,  and  the  ruby — all  were  lefl  behind.  One  could  not  help  re- 
peating those  excellent  lines  of  Virgil  beginning  with  Sic  vos  non 
vobis. 

As  soon  as  we  were  at  liberty,  we  returned  to  our  masters.  Doctor 
Sangrado  received  me  kindly.  "  My  poor  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  it  was 
but  this  morning  I  was  acquainted  with  thy  misfortune.  I  was  just 
setting  about  an  active  canvass  for  thee.  We  must  derive  comfort 
from  adversity,  my  friend,  and  attach  ourselves  more  than  ever  to 
the  practice  of  physic."  I  affirmed  that  to  be  my  intention ;  and,  in 
truth,  I  laid  about  me.  Far  from  wanting  employment,  it  happened 
by  a  kind  providence,  as  my  master  had  foretold,  to  be  a  very  sickly 
season.  The  smallpox  and  a  very  malignant  fever  took  alternate 
possession  of  the  town  and  suburbs.  All  the  physicians  in  Valla- 
dolid  had  their  share  of  business,  and  we  not  the  least.  We  saw 
eight  or  ten  patients  a  day,  so  that  the  kettle  was  kept  on  the  sim- 
mer, and  the  blood  in  the  action  of  transpiring.  But  things  will 
happen  cross  ;  they  died  to  a  man,  either  by  our  fault  or  their  own. 
If  their  case  waa  hopeless,  we  were  not  to  blame ;  and  if  it  was  not 
hopeless,  they  were.  Three  visits  to  a  patient  was  the  length  of  our 
tether.  About  the  second,  we  sometimes  ran  foul  of  the  undertaker; 
or  when  we  had  been  more  fortunate  than  usual,  the  patient  had 
frot  no  further  than  the  point  of  death.  As  I  was  but  a  young  phy- 
sician, not  yet  hardened  to  the  trade  of  an  assassin,  I  grieved  over 
the  melancholy  issue  of  my  own  theory  and  practice.  "  Sir,"  said 
I  one  evening  to  Dr.  Sangrado,  "  I  call  Heaven  to  witness  on  the  spot 
that  I  have  never  strayed  from  your. infallible  method;  and  yet  I 
have  never  saved  a  patient :  one  would  think  that  they  died  out  of 
spite,  and  were  on  the  other  side  of  the  great  medical  question.  This 


100  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

very  day  I  came  across  two  of  them,  going  into  the  country  to  be 
buried."  "  My  good  lad,"  replied  he,  "  my  experience  comes  nearly 
to  the  same  point.  It  is  but  seldom  I  have  the  pleasure  of  curing 
my  kind  and  partial  friends.  If  I  had  less  confidence  in  my  prin- 
ciples, I  should  think  my  prescriptions  had  set  their  faces  against 
the  work  they  were  intended  to  perform."  "  If  you  will  take  a  hint, 
sir,"  replied  I,  "  we  had  better  vary  our  system.  Let  us  give,  by 
way  of  experiment,  chemical  preparations  to  our  patients :  the  worst 
they  can  do  is  to  tread  in  the  steps  of  our  pure  dilutions  and  our 
phlebotomizing  evacuations."  "I  would  willingly  give  it  a  trial,"  re- 
joined he,  "if  it  were  a  matter  of  indifference,  but  I  have  published 
on  the  practice  of  bleeding  and  the  use  of  drenches ;  would  you  have 
me  cut  the  throat  of  my  own  fame  as  an  author?"  "  Oh,  you  are  in 
the  right,"  resumed  I ;  "  our  enemies  must  not  gain  this  triumph 
over  us  ;  they  would  say  that  you  were  out  of  conceit  with  your  own 
systems,  and  would  ruin  your  reputation  by  inconsistency.  Perish 
the  people — perish  rather  our  nobility  and  clergy ! — but  let  us  go  on 
in  the  old  path.  After  all,  our  brethren  of  the  faculty,  with  all 
their  tenderness  about  bleeding,  have  no  patent  for  longevity  any 
more  than  ourselves,  and  we  may  set  off  their  drugs  against  our 
specifics." 

We  went  on  working  double  tides,  and  did  so  much  execution, 
that  in  less  than  six  weeks  we  made  as  many  widows  and  orphans 
as  the  siege  of  Troy.  The  plague  must  have  got  into  Valladolid,  by 
the  number  of  funerals.  Day  after  day  came  some  father  or  other 
to  know  what  was  become  of  his  son,  who  was  last  seen  in  our 
hands ;  or  else  a  stupid  fellow  of  an  uncle,  who  had  a  foolish  han- 
kering after  a  deceased  nephew.  With  respect  to  the  nephews  and 
sons,  on  whose  uncles  and  fathers  we  had  equalized  our  system  of 
destruction,  they  thought  that  least  said  was  soonest  mended.  Hus- 
bands were  altogether  on  their  good  behavior — they  would  not 
split  a  hair  about  the  loss  of  a  wife  or  two.  The  real  sufferers  to 
whose  reproaches  we  were  exposed  were  sometimes  quite  savage  in 
their  grief;  without  being  mealy-mouthed  in  their  expressions,  they 
called  us  blockheads  and  assassins.  I  was  concerned  at  their  bad 
language;  but  my  master,  who  was  up  to  every  circumstance, 
listened  to  their  abuse  with  the  utmost  indifference.  Yet  I  might 
have  grown  as  callous  as  himself  to  popular  reproach  if  Heaven, 
interposing  its  shield  between  the  invalids  of  Valladolid  and  one  of 
their  scourges,  had  not  providentially  raised  up  an  incident  to  dis- 
gust me  with  medicine,  which  from  the  outset  had  been  disgusted 
with  me. 

The  idle  fellows  about  town  assembled  every  day  in  our  neighbor- 
hood for  a  game  at  tennis.     Among  the  number  was  one  of  those 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  101 

professed  bullies  who  set  up  for  great  dons,  and  are  the  complete 
cocks  of  the  tennis-court.  He  was  a  Biscayan,  and  assumed  the  title 
of  Don  Roderic  de  Mondragon.  His  age  might  be  about  thirty.  His 
size  was  somewhat  above  the  common,  but  he  was  lean  and  bony. 
Besides  two  sparkling  little  eyes  rolling  about  in  his  head,  and 
throwing  out  defiance  against  all  bystanders,  a  very  broad  nose 
came  in  between  a  pair  of  red  whiskers,  which  turned  up  like  a 
hook  as  high  as  the  temples.  His  phraseology  was  so  rough  and 
uncouth,  that  the  very  sound  of  his  voice  would  throw  a  quiet  man 
into  an  ague.  This  tyrant  over  both  the  rackets  and  the  game  was 
lord  paramount  in  all  disputes  between  the  players ;  and  there  was 
no  appeal  from  his  decisions,  but  at  the  risk  of  receiving  a  chal- 
lenge the  next  day.  Precisely  as  I  have  drawn  Signor  Don  Roderic — 
whom  the  Don  in  the  foreground  of  his  titles  could  never  make  a 
gentleman — he  was  sweet  upon  the  mistress  of  the  tennis-court.  She 
was  a  woman  of  forty,  in  good  circumstances,  as  charming  as  forty 
can  well  be,  just  entering  on  the  second  year  of  her  widowhood.  I 
know  not  how  he  made  himself  agreeable;  certainly  not  by  his 
exterior  recommendations,  but  probably  by  that  within  which  pass- 
eth  show.  However  that  might  be,  she  took  a  fancy  to  him,  and 
began  to  turn  her  thoughts  towards  the  holy  state  of  matrimony ; 
but  while  that  great  event  was  in  agitation,  for  the  punishment  of 
her  sins  she  was  taken  with  a  malignant  fever,  and  with  me  for  a 
physician.  Had  the  disorder  been  ever  so  slight,  my  practice  would 
have  made  a  serious  job  of  it.  At  the  expiration  of  four  days,  there 
was  not  a  dry  eye  in  the  tennis-court.  The  mistress  joined  the  out- 
ward-bound colony  of  my  patients,  and  her  family  administered  to 
her  effects.  Don  Roderic,  distracted  at  the  loss  of  his  mistress,  or 
rather  disappointed  of  a  good  establishment,  was  not  satisfied  with 
fretting  and  fuming  at  me,  but  sAvore  he  would  run  me  through  the 
body,  or  even  frown  me  into  a  nonentity.  A  good-natured  neighbor 
apprised  me  of  this  vow,  with  a  caution  to  keep  at  home,  for  fear  of 
coming  across  this  devil  of  a  fellow.  This  warning,  though  taken 
in  good  part,  was  a  source  of  anxiety  and  apprehension.  I  was 
eternally  fancying  the  enraged  Biscayan  laying  siege  to  the  out- 
works of  my  citadel.  There  was  no  getting  a  moment's  respite  from 
alarm.  This  circumstance  weaned  me  from  the  practice  of  medi- 
cine, and  I  thought  of  nothing  but  deliverance  from  my  horrors. 
On  went  my  embroidered  suit  once  more.  Taking  leave  of  my 
master,  who  did  all  he  could  to  detain  me,  I  got  out  of  town  with 
the  dawn,  not  heedless  of  that  terrible  Don  Roderic,  who  might 
waylay  me  on  the  road. 


102  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

HIS  BOTTTE  FROM  VAIXADOLID,  WITH  A  DESCEIPTION  OF  HIS 
FELLOW-TRAVELLEK. 

I  TRUDGED  on  at  a  great  rate,  and  looked  behind  from  time  to 
time,  to  see  if  that  dreadful  Biscayan  was  not  following  me. 
My  imagination  was  so  engrossed  by  the  fellow,  that  he  haunted  me 
in  every  tree  and  bush ;  my  heart  was  in  my  mouth  for  fear  at 
every  footfall.  But  I  took  courage  again  at  the  distance  of  about  a 
league,  and  went  on  more  gently  towards  Madrid,  whither  I  pro- 
posed directing  my  steps.  I  had  no  attachment  to  Valladolid.  All 
my  regret  was  at  tearing  myself  from  Fabricio,  my  dear  Pylades,  of 
whom  I  had  not  so  much  as  taken  my  leave.  It  was  no  grievance  to 
give  up  physic;  on  the  contrary,  I  prayed  to  Heaven  to  forgive  me 
for  having  tampered  with  it.  Yet  I  did  not  count  over  the  contents 
of  my  purse  with  less  pleasure  because  they  were  the  wages  of  mur- 
der. In  this  I  took  after  those  ladies  who  retire  with  a  fortune  to 
lead  pious  lives,  and  think  it  hard  if  they  may  not  fatten  religiously 
on  the  hard  earnings  of  their  libertine  profession.  I  had  in  rials 
somewhere  about  the  value  of  five  ducats,  and  this  was  the  sum 
total  of  my  property.  With  these  I  designed  repairing  to  Madrid, 
where  I  had  no  doubt  of  finding  a  good  service.  Besides,  I  wished 
above  all  things  to  be  in  that  magnificent  city,  the  boasted  epitome 
of  the  world  and  all  its  wonders. 

When  I  was  recollecting  what  I  had  heard  of  it,  and  enjoying 
beforehand  the  pleasures  it  affords,  I  heard  the  voice  of  a  man 
coming  after  me,  and  singing  till  he  had  scraped  his  throat.  He  had 
a  wallet  on  his  back,  a  guitar  suspended  from  his  neck,  and  a  long 
sword  by  his  side.  He  got  on  at  such  a  rate  as  soon  to  overtake  me. 
Who  should  it  be  but  one  of  the  two  journeymen  barbers  with  whom 
I  had  been  in  jail  for  the  adventure  of  the  ring.  We  knew  one 
another  at  once,  though  we  had  shifted  our  dresses,  and  were  in  a 
thousand  marvels  at  meeting  so  unexpectedly  on  the  highway.  If  I 
testified  my  delight  at  having  such  a  fellow-traveller,  he  seemed  on 
his  side  to  feel  an  excess  of  rapture  at  the  renewal  of  our  acquaint- 
ance. I  told  him  why  I  had  left  Valladolid,  and  he  trusted  his  own 
secret  to  me  in  return,  by  stating  that  he  had  had  a  little  brush  with 
his  master,  on  which  they  had  taken  an  everlasting  leave  of  each 
other.  "Had  it  been  my  pleasure,"  continued  he,  "to  have  taken 
up  my  abode  longer  in  Valladolid,  ten  shops  would  have  taken  me 
in  for  one  that  would  have  turned  me  out,  since,  vanity  apart,  I  may 
safely  say  there  is  not  a  barber  in  all  Spain  better  qualified  to  shave 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  103 

all  sorts  of  beards,  with  the  grain  or  against  the  grain,  and  to  curl  a 
pair  of  whiskers.  But  I  could  no  longer  fight  against  a  hankering 
after  my  native  place,  whence  I  departed  full  ten  years  since.  I  wish 
to  inhale  a  little  of  my  own  country  air,  and  to  learn  the  present 
situation  of  my  family.  I  shall  be  among  them  the  day  after  to- 
morrow, at  a  place  called  01m6do,  a  populous  village  on  this  side  of 
Segovia." 

I  resolved  on  accompanying  this  barber  home,  and  going  to 
Segovia  for  the  chance  of  a  cast  to  Madrid.  We  began  enter- 
taining one  another  with  indifferent  subjects  as  we  went  along. 
The  young  fellow  was  perfectly  good-humored,  with  a  ready  wit. 
After  an  hour's  conversation,  he  asked  me  if  I  was  hungry.  I  re- 
ferred him  to  the  first  house  of  call  for  my  answer.  "  To  stop  dilapi- 
dations till  we  get  there,"  said  he,  "  we  may  renew  our  term  by  a 
little  breakfast  from  my  wallet.  When  I  am  on  a  journey,  I  am 
always  my  own  caterer.  None  of  your  woollen-drapery,  nor  linen- 
drapery,  nor  any  of  your  frippery  or  trumpery.  I  hate  ostentation. 
My  wallet  contains  nothing  but  a  little  exercise  for  my  grinders,  my 
razors,  and  a  wash-ball."  I  extolled  his  discretion,  and  agreed  with 
all  my  heart  to  the  bargain  he  proposed.  My  appetite  was  keen  and 
sharp-set  for  a  comfortable  meal ;  after  what  he  had  said,  I  could 
expect  no  less.  We  drew  aside  a  little  from  the  high  road,  and  sat 
down  upon  the  grass.  There  my  little  journeyman  barber  laid  out 
his  provisions,  consisting  of  five  or  six  onions,  with  some  scraps  of 
bread  and  cheese;  but  the  best  lot  in  the  auction  was  a  little 
leathern  bottle,  full,  as  he  said,  of  choice,  delicate  wine.  Though 
the  solids  were  not  very  relishing,  the  calls  of  hunger  did  not  allow 
either  of  us  to  be  dainty ;  and  we  emptied  the  bottle  too,  containing 
about  two  pints  of  a  wine  one  could  not  recommend  without  some 
remorse  of  conscience.  We  then  rose  from  table,  and  set  out  again 
on  the  tramp  in  high  glee.  The  barber,  who  had  heard  some  little 
snatches  of  my  story  from  Fabricio,  entreated  me  to  furnish  him 
with  the  whole  from  the  best  authority.  It  was  impossible  to  refuse 
so  munificent  an  host;  I  therefore  gave  him  the  satisfaction  he 
required.  In  my  turn  I  called  on  him,  as  an  acknowledgment  of  my 
frankness,  to  communicate  the  leading  circumstances  of  his  terres- 
trial peregrinations.  "  Oh  !  as  for  my  adventures,"  exclaimed  he, 
"they  are  scarcely  worth  recording, — a  mere  catalogue  of  common 
occurrences.  Nevertheless,  since  we  have  nothing  else  to  do,  I  will 
run  over  the  narrative,  such  as  it  is."  At  the  same  time  he  entered 
on  the  recital  nearly  in  the  following  termis. 


104  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  DLAS. 

CHAPTER   VII. 

THE  JOURNEYMAN  BARBER'S  STORY. 

"  T"  TAKE  up  my  tale  from  the  origin  of  things.  My  grandfather, 
I  Ferdinand  Perez  de  la  Fuenta,  barber-general  to  the  village 
of  01m6do  for  fifty  years,  died,  leaving  four  sons.  The  eldest, 
Nicholas,  succeeded  to  the  shop,  and  lathered  himself  into  the  good 
graces  of  the  customers.  Bertrand,  the  next,  having  taken  a  Ikncy 
to  trade,  set  up  for  a  mercer ;  Thomas,  who  was  the  third,  turned 
schoolmaster.  As  for  the  fourth,  by  name  Pedro,  feeling  within 
himself  the  high  destinies  of  learning,  he  sold  a  dirty  acre  or  two 
which  fell  to  his  share,  and  went  to  settle  at  Madrid,  where  he 
hoped  one  day  to  distinguish  himself  by  his  genius  and  erudition. 
The  other  three  brothers  would  not  part ;  they  fixed  their  quarters 
at  Olmedo,  marrying  peasants'  daughters,  who  brought  their  hus- 
bands very  little  dowry,  except  an  annual  present  of  a  chopping 
young  rustic.  They  had  a  most  public-spirited  emulation  in  child- 
bearing.  My  mother,  the  barber's  wife,  favored  the  world  with  a 
contribution  of  six  within  the  first  five  years  of  her  marriage.  I  was 
among  the  number.  My  father  initiated  me  betimes  in  the  myste- 
ries of  shaving;  and  when  he  saw  me  grown  up  to  the  age  of  fifteen, 
laid  this  wallet  across  my  shoulders,  presented  me  with  a  long 
sword,  and  said,  '  Go,  Diego,  you  are  now  qualified  to  gain  your  own 
livelihood ;  go  and  travel  about.  You  want  a  little  acquaintance 
with  the  world  to  give  you  a  polish,  and  improve  you  in  your  art. 
Off  with  you !  and  do  not  return  to  Olmedo  till  you  have  made  the 
tour  of  Spain,  nor  let  me  hear  of  you  till  that  is  accomplished.'' 
Finishing  with  this  injunction,  he  embraced  me  with  fatherly  affec- 
tion, and  shoved  me  out  of  doors  by  the  shoulders. 

"Such  were  the  parting  benedictions  of  my  sire.  As  for  my 
mother,  who  had  more  the  touch  of  nature  in  her  manners,  she 
seemed  to  feel  somewhat  at  my  departure.  She  dropped  a  few  tears, 
and  even  slipped  a  ducat  by  stealth  into  my  hand.  Thus  was  I  sent 
from  Olmedo  into  the  wide  world,  and  took  the  road  of  Segovia.  I 
did  not  go  two  hundred  yards  without  stopping  to  examine  my  bag. 
I  had  a  mind  to  view  its  contents,  and  to  know  the  precise  amount 
of  my  possessions.  There  I  found  a  case  with  two  razors,  which 
must  have  travelled  post  over  the  chins  of  ten  generations,  by  the 
evidence  of  their  wear  and  tear,  with  a  strap  to  set  them,  and  a  bit 
of  soap.  In  addition  to  this,  a  coarse  shirt,  quite  new,  a  pair  of  my 
fatlier's  shoes,  quite  old,  and,  what  rejoiced  me  more  than  all  the 
rest,  a  rouleau  of  twenty  rials  in  a  linen  bag.    Behold  the  sum  total 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  105 

of  my  personals.  You  may  conclude  master  Nicholas,  the  barber, 
to  have  reckoned  a  good  deal  on  my  ingenuity,  by  his  turning  me 
adrift  with  so  slender  a  provision.  Yet  a  ducat  and  twenty  rials, 
by  way  of  fortune,  was  enough  to  turn  the  head  of  a  young  man 
unaccustomed  to  money  concerns.  I  fancied  my  stock  of  cash  inex- 
haustible, and  pursued  my  journey  in  the  sunshine  of  brilliant 
anticipation,  looking  Irom  time  to  time  at  the  hilt  of  my  rapier, 
while  the  blade  was  striking  against  the  calf  of  my  leg  at  every  step, 
or  tripping  up  my  heels. 

"  In  the  evening  I  reached  the  village  of  Ataquin6s  with  a  very 
catholic  stomach.  I  put  up  at  the  inn  ;  and,  as  if  I  meant  to  spend 
freely,  asked,  in  a  lofty  tone,  what  there  was  for  supper.  The  land- 
lord examined  my  pretensions  with  his  eye,  and  finding  according 
to  what  cloth  my  coat  was  cut,  said,  with  a  true  publican's  civility, 
'  Yes,  yes,  my  worthy  master,  you  shall  have  no  reason  to  com- 
plain ;  we  will  treat  you  like  a  lord.'  With  this  assurance,  he 
showed  me  ipto  a  little  room,  whither  he  brought  me,  a  quarter  of 
an  hour  afterwards,  a  ragout  made  of  a  great  he  cat,  on  which  I 
feasted  with  as  famous  an  appetite  as  if  it  had  been  hare  or  rabbit. 
This  excellent  drsh  was  washed  down  by  so  choice  a  wine,  that  the 
king  had  no  better  in  his  cellars.  I  found  out,  however,  that  it  was 
pricked ;  but  that  was  no  hindrance  to  my  doing  it  as  much  honor 
as  I  did  the  he  cat.  The  last  article  in  this  entertainment  for  a  lord 
was  a  bed  better  adapted  to  drive  sleep  away  than  to  invite  it. 
Figure  it  to  yourself  about  the  width  of  a  coffin,  and  so  short  that  I 
could  not  stretch  my  legs,  though  none  of  the  longest.  Besides, 
there  was  neither  mattress  nor  feather  bed,  but  merely  a  little  straw 
sewed  up  in  a  sheet  folded  double,  which  was  laid  down  clean  for 
every  hundredth  traveller,  and  served  the  other  ninety-nine,  one 
after  another,  without  washing.  Nevertheless,  in  such  a  bed,  with 
a  stomach  which  was  distended  to  a  surfeit  by  fricasseed  cat,  and 
then  raked  by  sour  wine,  thanks  to  youth  and  a  good  constitu- 
tion, I  slept  soundly,  and  passed  the  night  without  being  in  any 
way  disturbed. 

"On  the  following  day,  when  I  had  breakfasted,  and  paid  the 
reckoning,  as  I  had  been  treated  like  a  lord,  I  made  but  one  stage 
to  Segovia.  On  my  arrival,  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  find  a  shop, 
where  they  took  me  in  for  my  board  and  lodging ;  but  I  stayed 
there  only  six  months ;  a  journeyman  barber  with  whom  I  got 
acquainted  was  going  to  Madrid,  and  drew  me  in  to  set  off  with 
him.  I  had  no  difficulty  in  procuring  a  situation  on  the  same  foot- 
ing as  at  Segovia.  I  got  into  a  shop  of  the  very  best  custom.  It  is 
true,  it  was  near  the  Church  of  the  Holy  Cross,  and  that  the  neigh- 
borhood of  the  Prince's  Theatre  brought  a  great  deal  of  businesa. 


106  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

My  master,  two  stirring  fellows,  and  myself,  could  scarcely  lather 
the  chins  of  the  people  who  came  to  be  shaved.  They  were  of  all 
trades  and  conditions,  among  the  rest,  players  and  authors.  One 
day,  two  persons  of  the  last  description  happened  to  meet.  They 
began  conversing  about  the  poets  and  pieces  in  vogue,  when  one  of 
them  mentioned  my  uncle's  name — a  circumstance  which  drew  my 
attention  more  particularly  to  their  discourse.  '  Don  Juan  de  Zava- 
leta,'  said  one,  '  will  never  do  any  good  as  an  author.  A  man  of  a 
cold  genius,  without  a  spark  of  fancy,  he  has  written  himself  down 
at  a  terrible  rate  by  his  last  publication.'  'And  Louis  Velez  de 
Guevara,'  said  the  other,  '  what  has  he  done  ?  A  fine  work  to  bring 
before  the  public!  Was  there  ever  anything  so  wretched?'  They 
mentioned  I  know  not  how  many  poets  besides,  whose  names  I  have 
forgotten  :  I  only  recollect  that  they  said  no  good  of  them.  As  for 
my  uncle,  they  made  a  more  honorable  menrton  of  him,  agreeing 
that  he  was  a  personage  of  merit.  '  Yes,'  said  one,  *  Pon  Pedro  de  la 
Fuenta  is  an  excellent  author ;  there  is  a  sly  humoK:  in  his  works, 
blended  with  solid  sense,  which  communicates  an  Attic  poignancy 
to  their  general  effect.  I  am  not  surprised  at  his  popularity,  both 
in  court  and  city,  nor  at  the  pensions  settled  on  him  by  the  great.' 
'  For  many  years  past,'  said  the  other,  '  he  has  enjoyed  a  very  large 
income.  He  lives  at  the  Duke  de  Medina  Cell's  table,  and  has  an 
apartment  in  his  house,  so  that  he  is  at  no  expense;  he  must  be 
well-to-do  in  the  world.' 

"  I  lost  not  a  syllable  of  what  these  poets  were  saying  about  my 
uncle.  We  had  learned  in  the  family  that  he  made  a  noise  in 
Madrid  by  his  works  ;  some  travellers,  passing  through  Olm^do,  had 
told  us  so;  but  as  he  took  no  notice  of  us,  and  seemed  to  have 
weaned  himself  from  all  natural  ties,  we  on  our  side  lived  in  a  state  of 
perfect  indifference  about  him.  Yet  nature  will  prevail ;  as  soon  as  I 
had  heard  that  he  was  in  a  fair  way,  and  had  learned  where  he  lived, 
I  was  tempted  to  call  upon  him.  One  thing  staggered  me  a  little; 
the  literati  had  styled  him  Don  Pedro.  This  don  was  an  awkward 
circumstance:  I  had  my  doubts  whether  he  might  not  be  some 
other  poet  of  the  name,  and  not  my  uncle.  Yet  that  apprehension 
did  not  damp  my  ardor.  I  thought  he  might  have  been  ennobled 
for  his  wit,  and  determined  to  pay  him  a  visit.  For  this  purpose, 
with  my  master's  leave,  I  tricked  myself  out  one  morning  as  well  as 
I  could,  and  sallied  from  our  shop,  a  little  proud  of  being  nephew  to 
a  man  who  had  gained  so  high  a  character  by  his  genius.  Barbers 
are  not  the  most  diffident  people  in  the  world.  I  began  to  conceive 
no  mean.opinion  of  myself;  and  riding  the  high  horse  with  all  the 
arrogance  of  greatness,  inquired  my  way  to  the  Duke  de  Medina 
Cell's  palace,     I  rang  at  the  gate,  and  said  I  wanted  to  speak  with 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  107 

Signer  Don  Pedro  de  la  Fuenta.  The  porter  pointed  with  his  finger 
to  a  uarroAv  staircase  at  the  fag  end  o£  the  court,  and  answered, — 
'  Go  up  there,  then  knock  at  the  first  door  on  your  right.'  I  did  as 
he  directed  me,  and  knocked  at  a  door.  It  was  opened  by  a  young 
man,  whom  I  asked  if  those  were  the  apartments  of  Signor  Don 
Pedro  de  la  Fuenta.  '  Yes,'  answered  he,  '  but  you  cannot  speak  to 
him  at  present.'  '  I  should  be  very  glad,'  said  I,  'just  to  say.  How 
are  you  ?  I  bring  him  news  of  his  family.'  'And  if  you  brought 
him  news  of  the  pope,'  replied  he,  *  I  could  not  introduce  you  just 
now.  He  is  writing,  and  while  his  wits  are  at  work,  he  must  not  be 
disturbed.  He  will  not  be  able  to  receive  company  till  noon ;  take 
a  turn,  and  come  back  about  that  time.' 

"  I  departed,  and  walked  about  town  all  the  morning,  incessantly 
meditating  on  the  reception  my  uncle  would  give  me.    '  I  think,'  said 
I  within  myself,  '  he  will  be  overjoyed  to  see  me.'     I  measured  his 
feelings  by  my  own,  and  prepared  myself  for  a  very  affecting  dis- 
covery.   I  returned  punctually  at  the  appointed  hour.     '  You  are 
just  in  time,'  said  the  servant;  'my  master  was  going  out.     Wait 
here  a  moment :  I  will  announce  you.'     With  these  words,  he  left 
me  in  the  ante-chamber.     He  returned   almost  immediately,  and 
showed  me  into  his  master's  room.     The  face  struck  me  all  at  once 
as  a  family  likeness.     To  be  sure  he  was  the  very  image  of  my  uncle 
Thomas  ;  they  might  have  been  taken  for  twins.    I  bowed  down  to 
the  ground,  and  introduced  myself  as  the  son'  of  Master  Nicholas  de 
la  Fuenta,  the  barber  of  01m6do.     I  likewise  informed  him  that  I 
had  been  working  at  ray  father's  trade  in  Madrid,  for  these  three 
weeks,  as  a  journeyman,  and  intended  making  the  tour  of  Spain  to 
complete  my  education.     While  I  was  speaking,  my  uncle  was  evi- 
dently in  a  brown  study.      He  seemed  to  doubt  whether  he  should 
disown  me  at  once  or  get  rid  of  me  with  some  little  sacrifice  to 
decency.     The  latter  course  he  adopted.     Affecting  the  affable,  he 
said,  '  Well,  my  good  kinsman,  how  are  your  father  and  your  uncles? 
Do  they  get  on  in  the  world  ?'     I  began  thereupon  by  laying  before 
him  the  family  knack  at  propagation.     All  the  children,  male  and 
female,  I  called  over  by  their  names,  with  their  godfathers  and  god- 
mothers included  in  the  list  I     He  took  no  extravagant  interest  in 
the  particulars  of  my  tale;  but,  leading- to  his  own  purposes, — 
'Diego,'  replied  he,  *I  am  quite  of  your  mind.     You  should  go 
from  place  to.  place,  and  see  a  variety  of  practice.     I  would  not  have 
you  tarry. longer  at  Madrid:  it  is  a  very  dangerous  residence  for 
youth  ;  you  may  get  into  bad  habits,  my  sweet  fellow.     Other  towns 
will  suit  you  better;  the  state  of  society  in  the  provinces  is  more 
patriarchal   and   philosophical.      Determine  on   emigration;   and 
when  your  departure  is  fixed,  come  and  take  your  leave.    I  will  con- 


108  ADVENTURES  OF  (hlL  JiLAS. 

tribute  a  pistole  to  the  tour  of  Spain.'  With  this  kind  assurance, 
he  handed  me  out  of  the  room,  and  sent  me  packing. 

"  I  had  not  worldly  wisdom  enough  to  find  out  that  he  wanted  to 
get  quit  of  me.  I  went  back  to  our  shop,  and  gave  my  master  an 
account  of  the  visit  1  had  paid.  He  looked  no  deeper  than  myself 
into  Signor  Don  Pedro's  motives,  and  observed :  '  I  cannot  help  dif- 
fering from  your  worthy  uncle ;  so  far  from  advising  you  to  travel 
the  provinces,  the  real  thing  would  be,  in  my  opinion,  to  give  you  a 
comfortable  settlement  in  this  city.  He  is  hand-and-glove  with  the 
first  people ;  it  is  an  easy  matter  for  him  to  establish  you  in  a  great 
family ;  and  that  is  a  fortune  at  once.'  Struck  with  this  lucky  dis- 
covery, which  seemed  to  settle  the  point  without  difficulty,  I  called 
on  my  uncle  again  two  days  afterwards,  and  made  a  modest  pro- 
posal to  him  for  a  situation  about  some  leading  character  at  court. 
But  the  hint  was  not  taken  kindly.  A  proud  man,  living  at  free 
quarters  among  the  great,  and  dining  with  them  in  a  family  party, 
did  not  exactly  wish  that,  while  he  was  sitting  at  my  lord's  table, 
his  nephew  should  be  a  guest  in  the  servants'  hall.  Little  Diego 
might  bring  a  scandal  on  Signor  Don  Pedro,  He  had  no  hesitation, 
therefore,  in  fairly  turning  me  out  of  doors,  and  that  with  a  flea  in 
my  ear.  '  What,  you  little  rascal  I'  said  he,  in  a  fit  of  extravagance, 
'  do  you  mean  to  relinquish  your  calling  ?  Begone ;  I  consign  you 
to  the  reptile  whose  pernicious  counsels  will  be  your  ruin.  Take 
your  leave  of  these  premises,  and  never  set  your  foot  on  them  again, 
or  you  shall  have  the  reception  you  deserve  1'  I  was  absolutely 
stunned  at  this  language,  and  still  more  at  the  peremptory  tone  my 
nncle  assumed.  With  tears  in  my  eyes  I  withdrew,  quite  overcome 
by  his  severity.  Yet,  as  I  had  always  been  lively  and  confident  in 
my  temper,  I  soon  wiped  away  my  tears.  My  grief  was  even  turned 
into  resentment,  and  I  determined  to  take  no  further  notice  of  this 
unnatural  relative,  whose  kind  oflices  I  had  hitherto  been  contented 
to  want. 

"  My  attention  was  henceforth  directed  to  the  cultivation  of  my 
professional  talent;  I  was  quite  a  plodding  fellow  at  my  trade.  I 
scraped  away  all  day ;  and  in  the  evening,  by  way  of  relief  to  my 
scraping,  I  twanged  the  guitar.  My  master  on  that  instrument  was 
an  old  Senor  Escudero  whom  I  shaved.  He  taught  me  music  in 
return  ;  and  he  was  an  adept.  To  be  sure,  he  had  formerly  been  a 
chorister  in  a  cathedral.  His  name  was  Marcos  de  Obregon.  He 
was  a  man  of  the  world,  with  good  natural  parts  and  acquired 
knowledge,  which  jointly  induced  him  to  fix  on  me  as  an  adopted 
son.  He  was  engaged  as  an  attendant  on  a  physician's  lady,  resi- 
dent within  thirty  yards  of  our  house.  I  went  to  him  in  the  even- 
ing, when  shop  was  shut,  and  we  two,  sitting  on  the  threshold  of  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  109 

door,  made  up  a  little  concert  not  displeasing  to  the  neighborhood. 
It  was  not  that  our  voices  were  very  fine ;  but  in  thrumming  on  the 
catgut,  we  made  a  pretty  regular  accompaniment  to  our  duet,  and 
filled  up  the  harmony  sufficiently  for  the  gratification  of  our  hearers. 
Our  music  was  particularly  agreeable  to  Donna  Mergelina,  the  phy- 
sician's wife;  she  came  into  the  passage  to  hear  us,  and  sometimes 
encored  us  in  her  favorite  airs.  Her  husband  did  not  interfere  with 
her  amusement.  Though  a  Spaniard,  and  in  years,  he  was  not  pos- 
sessed with  jealousy ;  besides,  his  profession  took  up  all  his  time ; 
and  as  he  came  home  in  the  evening,  worn  out  with  his  numerous 
visits,  he  went  to  bed  at  an  early  hour,  without  troubling  himself 
about  his  wife  or  our  concerts.  Possibly,  if  he  thought  about  them 
at  all,  he  might  consider  them  as  little  likely  to  produce  dangerous 
consequences.  He  had  an  additional  security  in  his  wife.  Merge- 
lina was  young  and  handsome  with  a  witness,  but  of  so  fierce  a 
modesty,  that  she  started  at  the  very  shadow  of  a  man.  How  could 
he  take  umbrage  at  an  amusement  of  so  harmless  and  decorous  a 
nature?    He  gave  us  leave  to  sing  our  hearts  out. 

"  One  evening,  as  I  came  to  the  physician's  door,  intending  to 
take  my  usual  recreation,  I  found  the  old  squire  waiting  for  me. 
He  took  me  by  the  hand,  saying  that  he  wished  to  take  a  little  walk 
with  me  before  we  struck  up  our  little  concert.  At  the  same  time 
he  drew  me  aside  into  a  by-street,  where,  finding  an  opportunity  of 
opening  his  mind  :  *  Diego,  my  good  lad,'  said  he,  with  a  melancholy 
air,  *  I  want  to  give  you  a  hint  in  private.  I  much  fear,  my  good 
and  amiable  youth,  that  we  shall  both  have  reason  to  repent  of  be- 
guiling our  evenings  with  little  musical  parties  at  my  master's  door. 
Rely  on  my  sincere  friendship :  I  do  not  grudge  your  lessons  in 
singing  and  on  the  guitar ;  but  if  I  could  have  foreseen  the  storm 
now  brewing,  in  the  name  of  charity,  I  would  have  selected  some 
other  spot  to  communicate  my  instructions !'  This  address  alarmed 
me.  I  entreated  the  gentle  squire  to  be  more  explicit,  and  to  tell 
me  what  we  had  to  fear ;  for  I  was  no  Hector,  and  the  tour  of  Spain 
was  not  yet  finished.  'I  will  relate  to  you,',  replied  he,  'what  it 
concerns  you  to  know,  that  you  may  take  proper  measure  of  our 
present  danger. 

"'When  I  got  into  the  service  of  the  physician,  about  a  year  ago, 
he  said  one  morning,  after  having  introduced  me  to  his  wife :  "  There, 
Marcos,  you  see  your  mistress  ;  that  is  the  lady  you  are  to  accom- 
pany in  all  her  peregrinations."  I  was  smitten  with  Donna  Merge- 
lina: she  was  lovely  in  the  extreme,  a  model  for  an  artist,  and  her 
principal  attraction  was  the  pleasantness  of  her  deportment.  "  Hon- 
ored sir,"  replied  I  to  the  physician,  "  it  is  too  great  a  happiness  to 
be  in  the  train  of  so  charming  a  lady."    My  answer  was  taken  amiss 


no  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

by  Mergelina,  who  said,  rather  crustily,  "  A  pleasant  gentleman  this ! 
He  is  perfectly  free  and  easy.  Believe  me,  his  fine  speeches  may  go 
a  begging  for  me !"  These  words,  dropped  from  such  lovely  lips, 
seemed  rather  inconsistent— the  manners  and  ideas  of  bumpkins  and 
dairy-maids  coupled  wjth  all  the  graces  of  the  most  lovely  woman 
in  the  world  !  As  for  her  husband,  he  was  used  to  her  ways ;  and, 
hugging  himself  on  the  unrivalled  character  of  his  rib,  "  Marcos," 
said  he°  "  my  wife  is  a  miracle  of  chastity."  Then,  observing  her 
put  on  her  v^il,  and  make  herself  ready  to  go  to  mass,  he  told  me  to 
attend  on  her  at  church.  We  were  no  sooner  in  the  street  than  we 
met— and  it  was  no  wonder— blades  who,  struck  with  Donna  Mer- 
gelina'a  genteel  carriage,  told  her  a  thousand  flattering  tales  as  they 
passed  by.  She  was  not  backward  in  her  answers ;  these  were  silly 
and  ill-timed,  beyond  what  you  can  conceive.  They  were  all  in 
amaze,  and  could  not  imagine  how  a  woman  should  take  it  amiss  to 
be  complimented.  "  Why,  really !  madam,"  said  I  to  her  at  first, 
"  you  had  better  be  silent,  or  shut  your  ears  to  their  addresses,  than 
reply  with  asperity."  "  No,  no,"  replied  she ;  "  I  will  teach  these 
coxcombs  that  I  am  not  a  woman  to  put  up  with  impertinence."  In 
short,  her  absurdity  went  so  far,  that  I  could  not  help  telling  her  my 
mind,  at  the  hazard  of  her  displeasure.  I  gave  her  to  understand, 
yet  with  the  greatest  possible  caution,  that  she  was  unjust  to  nature, 
whose  handiwork  she  marred  by  her  preposterous  ferocity ;  that  a 
woman  of  mild  and  polished  manners  might  inspire  love  without 
the  aid  of  beauty ;  whereas  the  loveliest  of  the  sex,  divested  of 
female  softness,  was  in  danger  of  becoming  the  public  scorn.  To 
this  ratiocination  I  added  collateral  arguments,  always  directed  to 
the  amendment  of  her  manners.  After  having  moralized  to  no 
purpose,  I  was  afraid  my  freedom  might  exasperate  my  mistress,  and 
draw  upon  me  some  taunting  repartee.  Nevertheless,  she  did  not 
mutiny  against  my  advice,  but  silently  rendered  it  of  no  avail;  and 
thus  we  went  on  from  day  to  day. 

" '  I  was  weary  of  pointing  out  her  errors  to  no  purpose,  and  gave 
her  up  to  the  ferocious  temperament  of  her  nature.  Yet,  could  you 
think  it  ?  the  savage  humor  of  that  proud  woman  is  entirely  changed 
within  these  two  months.  She  has  a  kind  word  for  all  the  world, 
and  manners  the  most  accommodating.  It  is  no  longer  the  same 
Mergelina  who  gave  such  homely  answers  to  the  compliments  of  her 
swains ;  she  is  become  assailable  by  flattery  ;  loves  to  be  told  she  is 
handsome — that  a  man  cannot  look  at  her  without  paying  for  it  ; 
her  ears  itch  for  fine  speeches,  and  she  is  become  a  very  woman. 
Such  a  change  is  almost  inconceivable  :  and  the  best  of  the  joke  is, 
that  you  are  the  worker  of  this  unparalleled  miracle.  Yes,  my  dear 
Diego,  it  is  you  who  have  transformed  Donna  Mergelina :  you  have 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  Ill 

softened  down  the  tigress  into  a  domestic  animal ;  in  a  word,  you 
have  made  her  feel.  I  have  observed  it  more  than  once ;  and  never 
trust  my  knowledge  of  the  sex,  if  she  is  not  desperately  in  love 
with  you.  Such,  my  dear  boy,  is  the  melancholy  news  I  have  to 
communicate — the  awkward  predicament  in  which  we  stand.' 

"  *  I  do  not  see,'  said  I  in  my  turn  to  the  old  man,  '  that  there  is 
anything  so  melancholy  in  this  accident,  or  any  peculiar  awkward- 
ness in  being  the  object  of  a  pretty  woman's  partiality.'  'Ah !  Diego,' 
replied  he,  *  you  argue  like  a  young  man :  you  only  see  the  bait, 
without  guarding  against  the  hook ;  pleasure  is  your  lure,  while  my 
thoughts  are  directed  to  the  unpleasant  circumstances  attending  it. 
Murder  will  out.  If  you  go  on  singing  at  our  door,  you  will  pro- 
voke Mergelina's  passion ;  and  she,  probably,  losing  all  command 
over  herself,  will  betray  her  weakness  to  her  husband.  Dr.  Oloroso. 
That  wretched  husband,  so  complying  now  that  he  thinks  there  is 
no  ground  for  jealousy,  will  run  wild,  take  signal  vengeance  upon 
her,  and  perhaps  play  some  dog's  trick  or  other  to  you  and  me.' 
'  Well,  then !'  rejoined  I,  '  your  reasons  shall  be  conclusive  with  me, 
and  your  sage  counsels  my  rule.  Lay  down  the  line  of  conduct  I 
am  to  adopt  for  the  prevention  of  any  left-handed  catastrophe.' 
'  We  will  have  no  more  concerts,'  Was  his  peremptory  decree.  '  Do 
not  show  yourself  any  more  to  my  mistress :  when  the  sight  of  you 
does  not  inflame  her,  she  will  recover  her  composure.  Stay  within 
doors :  I  will  call  in  upon  you,  and  we  will  torture  the  guitar  with 
impunity.'  'With  all  my  heart,' said  I,  ' and  I  will  never  set  my 
foot  again  in  your  premises.'  In  good  truth,  I  was  determined  to 
serenade  no  longer  before  the  physician's  door,  but  henceforth  to 
keep  within  the  precincts  of  my  shop,  since  my  attractions  as  a  man 
were  so  formidable. 

"  In  the  meantime,  good  Squire  Marcos,  with  all  his  prudence, 
experienced  in  the  course  of  a  few  days  that  the  plan  he  had  de- 
vised to  quench  Donna  Mergelina's  flame  produced  a  directly  oppo- 
site effect.  The  lady  on  the  second  night  not  hearing  me  sing,  asked 
why  we  had  discontinued  our  concerts,  and  the  reason  of  my  absence. 
He  told  her  I  was  so  busy  as  not  to  have  a  moment  to  spare  for 
relaxation.  She  seemed  satisfied  with  that  excuse,  and  for  three 
days  longer  bore  the  disappointment  of  all  her  hopes  like  a  heroine ; 
but  at  the  end  of  that  period,  my  martyr  to  the  tender  passion  lost 
all  patience,  and  said  to  her  conductor,  '  You  are  playing  false  with 
me,  Marcos  ;  Diego  has  not  discontinued  his  visits  without  a  cause. 
This  mystery  must  be  unravelled.  Speak,  I  command  you;  conceal 
nothing  from  me !'  *  Madam,'  answered  he,  making  use  of  another 
subterfuge,  'since  the  truth  must  be  told,  it  has  often  happened  to  him 
to  find  the  cloth  taken  away  at  home  after  the  concert;  he  cannot  run 


112  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  risk  any  longer  of  going  to  bed  without  his  supper.'  *  What, 
without  his  supper  I'  exclaimed  she  in  an  agony,  *  why  did  not  you 
tell  me  so  sooner?  Go  to  bed  without  his  supper  1  Oh,  the  poor 
little  sufferer  I  Go  to  him  this  instant,  and  let  him  come  again  this 
evening ;  he  shall  not  go  home  starving  any  more,  there  shall 
always  be  a  luncheon  for  him.' 

"  '  What  do  I  hear  ?'  said  the  squire,  affecting  astonishment  at  this 
language.  *0,  Heaven,  what  a  reverse!  Is  this  you,  madam,  and 
are  these  your  sentiments  ?  Well-a-day !  Since  when  are  you  so 
compassionate  and  tender-hearted?'  'Since,'  replied  she  signifi- 
cantly, *  since  you  have  lived  in  this  house,  or  rather  since  you  dis- 
approved my  disdainful  manners,  and  have  labored  to  soften  the 
acrimony  of  my  temper.  But,  alas !'  added  she,  in  a  melting  mood, 
*  I  have  gone  from  one  extreme  to  the  other.  Proud  and  insensible 
as  I  was,  I  am  become  too  susceptible — too  tender,  I  am  enamored 
of  your  young  friend  Diego,  and  I  cannot  help  myself;  his  absence, 
far  from  allaying  my  ardor,  only  adds  fuel  to  the  fire.'  '  Is  it  possi- 
ble/ resumed  the  old  man,  '  that  a  young  fellow  with  neither  face 
nor  person  should  have  inspired  so  strong  a  passion  ?  I  could 
make  allowance  for  your  feelings,  if  they  had  been  set  afloat  by 
some  nobleman  of  distinguished  merit,'  .  .  ,  *  Ah !  Marcos,'  inter- 
rupted Mergelina,  '  I  am  not  like  the  rest  of  my  sex ;  or,  rather, 
spite  of  your  long  experience,  your  penetration  is  but  shallow  if 
you  fancy  merit  to  have  much  share  in  our  choice.  Judging  by 
myself,  we  all  leap  before  we  look.  Love  is  a  mental  derangement, 
forcibly  drawing  all  our  views  and  attachments  into  one  vortex — a 
species  of  hydrophobia.  Have  done,  then,  with  your  hints  that 
Diego  is  not  worthy  of  my  tenderness ;  that  he  has  it  is  enough  to 
invest  him  with  a  thousand  perfections  too  ethereal  for  your  gross 
sight,  and  perhaps  too  unsubstantial  for  any  but  a  lover's  percep- 
tion. In  vain  you  disparage  his  features  or  his  stature ;  in  my  eyes 
he  was  created  to  undo,  and  encircled  by  the  hand  of  Nature  with 
the  glories  of  the  opening  day.  Nay,  more,  there  is  a  thrilling 
sweetness  in  his  voice  ;  his  touch  on  the  guitar  has  the  taste  of  an 
amateur  and  the  execution  of  a  professor.'  'But,  madam,'  sub- 
joined Marcos,  '  do  you  consider  who  Diego  is  ?  The  meanness  of 
his  station.'  .  .  .  'My  own  is  very  little  better,'  interrupted  she 
again ;  '  though  were  I  of  noble  birth,  it  would  make  no  difference 
in  my  sensations.' 

"The  result  of  that  conference  was  that  the  squire,  concluding  he 
should  make  no  impression  on  the  mind  of  his  mistress,  gave  over 
struggling  with  her  obstinacy,  as  a  skillful  pilot  runs  before  the 
Btorm,  though  it  carries  him  out  to  sea  from  his  intended  port.  He 
did  more:  to  satisfy  his  patroness,  he  paid  me  a  visit,  took  me 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  113 

aside,  and,  after  having  related  what  passed  between  them,  said, 
'  You  see,  Diego,  that  we  cannot  dispense  with  the  performance  of 
our  concerts  at  Mergelina's  door.  Absolutely,  my  friend,  that  lady 
must  see  you  again,  otherwise  she  may  commit  some  act  of  despera- 
tion fatal  to  her  good  name.'  I  was  not  inexorable,  but  answered 
Marcos  that  I  would  attend  with  my  guitar  early  in  the  evening, 
and  despatched  him  to  his  mistress  with  the  happy  tidings.  He 
executed  his  oflSce,  and  the  impassioned  dame  was  out  of  her  wits 
with  joy  in  the  delicious  prospect  of  hearing  and  seeing  me  in  a  few 
hours. 

"  A  most  disagreeable  circumstance,  however,  was  very  near  dis- 
appointing her  in  that  hope.  I  could  not  leave  home  before  night, 
and,  for  my  sins,  it  was  dark  as  pitch.  I  went  groping  along  the 
street,  and  had  got  maybe  half  way,  when  down  from  a  window 
came  upon  my  head  the  contents  of  a  perfuming-pan,  which  did  not 
tickle  my  olfactory  nerves  very  pleasantly.  I  may  say  that  not  a 
whiif  was  wasted,  so  exactly  had  the  giver  taken  measure  of  the 
receiver.  In  this  situation  I  was  at  a  loss  on  what  to  resolve.  To 
go  back  by  the  way  I  came,  what  an  exhibition  before  my  com- 
rades I  It  was  surrendering  myself  to  all  their  nasty  witticisms. 
Then,  again,  go  to  Mergelina  in  such  a  glorious  trim,  that  hurt  my 
feelings  on  the  other  side.  I  determined  at  length  to  get  on  towards 
the  physician's.  The  old  usher  was  waiting  for  me  at  the  door.  He 
said  that  Doctor  Oloroso  had  gone  to  bed,  and  we  might  amuse 
ourselves  as  we  liked.  I  answered  that  the  first  thing  was  to  purify 
my  drapery,  at  the  same  time  relating  my  misfortune.  He  seemed 
to  feel  for  me,  and  showed  m&  into  a  hall  where  his  mistress  was 
sitting.  As  soon  as  the  lady  got  wind  of  my  adventure,  and  had 
confirmed  the  testimony  of  her  nose  by  the  evidence  of  her  eyes, 
she  mourned  over  me  as  grievously  as  if  my  miseries  had  been  mor- 
tal ;  then,  apostrophizing  the  absent  cause  of  my  foul  array,  she 
uttered  a  thousand  imprecations.  'Well,  but,  madam,'  said  Marcos, 
'  do  moderate  this  ecstasy  of  grief,  consider  that  such  casualties  will 
happen  ;  there  is  no  occasion  to  take  on  so  bitterly.'  '  Why  !'  ex- 
claimed she,  with  vehemence,  'why  would  you  debar  me  from  the 
privilege  of  weeping  over  the  injuries  of  this  tender  lamb,  this  dove 
without  gall,  who  does  not  so  much  as  murmur  at  the  affront  he  has 
sustained?  Alas  I  why  am  I  not  a  man  at  this  moment,  to  avenge 
him!' 

"  She  uttered  numberless  soothing  expressions  besides,  to  mark 
distinctly  the  excess  of  her  devotion,  and  her  actions  corresponded 
with  her  words ;  for  while  Marcos  was  employed  in  wiping  me  down 
with  a  towel,  she  ran  into  her  chamber  and  brought  out  a  box  fur- 
nished with  every  variety  of  perfume.  She  burned  swcet-smelling 
8 


114  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

drugs,  and  perfiimed  my  clothes  with  them,  after  which  she 
drenched  me  in  a  deluge  of  essences.  The  fumigation  and  aspersion 
ended,  this  bountiful  lady  went  hereelf  and  fetched  from  the  kitchen 
bread,  wine,  and  some  good  slices  of  roast  mutton,  set  by  on  pur- 
pose for  me.  She  forced  me  to  eat,  and,  taking  a  pleasure  in  wait- 
ing on  me,  sometimes  carved  for  me,  and  sometimes  filled  my  glass, 
in  spite  of  all  that  Marcos  and  myself  could  do  to  anticipate  her 
condescension.  When  I  had  done  supper,  the  gentlemen  of  the 
orchestra  struck  the  key-note,  and  tuned  their  sweet  voices  to  the 
pitch  of  their  guitars.  We  played  and  sang  to  the  heart's  delight 
of  Mergelina.  To  be  sure  we  took  care  to  carol  none  but  amorous 
ditties ;  and  as  we  sang,  I  every  now  and  then  leered  at  her  with 
such  a  roguish  meaning,  as  to  throw  oil  upon  the  fire,  for  the  game 
began  to  be  interesting.  The  concert,  though  the  acts  were  long, 
was  not  tedious.  As  for  the  lady,  to  whom  hours  seemed  to  fly  like 
seconds,  she  could  have  been  content  to  exhaust  the  night  in  listen- 
ing, if  the  old  squire,  with  whom  the  seconds  seemed  to  lag  like 
hours,  had  not  hinted  how  late  it  was.  She  gave  him  the  trouble  of 
enforcing  his  moral  on  the  lapse  of  time  by  at  least  ten  repetitions. 
But  she  was  in  the  hands  of  a  man  not  to  be  turned  aside  from  his 
purpose;  he  let  her  have  no  rest  till  I  was  gone.  Sensible  and  pro- 
vident as  he  was,  seeing  his  mistress  given  up  to  a  mad  passion,  he 
dreaded  lest  our  harmony  should  be  resolved  by  some  discord.  His 
fears  were  ominous.  The  physician,  whether  his  mind  misgave  him 
of  some  foul  play,  or  the  spirit  of  jealousy,  hitherto  on  its  good 
behavior,  had  a  mind  to  harass  him  gratuitously,  bethought  himself 
of  quarrelling  with  our  concerts.  He  did  more — he  put  a  broad 
negative  upon  them,  and  without  assigning  his  reasons  for  acting  in 
this  violent  way,  declared  that  he  would  sufier  no  more  strangers  to 
come  about  his  premises. 

"  Marcos  acquainted  me  with  this  mortifying  declaration,  particu- 
larly levelled  against  my  rising  hopes.  I  had  begun  bobbing  at  this 
dainty  cherry,  and  did  not  like  to  lose  my  game.  Nevertheless,  to 
act  the  part  of  a  faithful  reporter  and  true  historian,  I  must  own  my 
impatience  did  not  affect  my  health  or  spirits.  Not  so  with  Merge- 
lina :  her  feelings  were  more  alive  than  ever.  '  My  dear  Marcos,' 
said  she  to  her  usher,  'it  is  only  from  you  that  I  look  for  succor. 
Contrive,  I  beseech  you,  that  I  may  see  Diego  in  private.'  '  What 
do  you  require?'  asked  the  old  man,  with  a  reproachful  accent.  'I 
have  been  but  too  indulgent  to  you.  I  am  not  a  person  to  crown 
your  wanton  wishes  at  the  expense  of  my  master's  honor,  your  good 
fame,  and  my  own  eternal  infamy — the  infamy  of  a  nian  whose  past 
life  has  been  one  continued  series  of  faithful  service  and  exemplary 
condact.    I  would  rather  leave  the  family  than  stay  in  it  on  such 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  116 

scandalous  conditions.'  'Alas!  Marcos,'  interrupted  the  lady, 
frightened  out  of  her  wits  at  these  last  words,  '  you  wring  my  heart 
by  talking  in  this  manner.  Obdurate  man  1  Can  you  bear  the 
thought  of  sacrificing  her  who  lays  all  her  present  agony  to  your 
account  ?  Give  me  back  my  former  pride,  and  that  savage  soul  you 
have  taken  from  me.  Why  am  I  no  longer  happy  in  my  very  im- 
perfections ?  I  might  now  have  been  at  peace,  but  your  rash  coun- 
sels have  robbed  me  of  the  repose  I  then  enjoyed.  You,  the  corrector 
of  my  manners,  have  tampered  with  my  morals.  .  .  .  But  why  do  I 
rave,  unhappy  wretch  that  I  am? — why  upbraid  you  thus  wrong- 
fully ?  No,  my  guardian  angel,  you  are  not  the  fatal  source  of  all 
my  miseries ;  my  evil  destiny  had  decreed  these  tortures  to  await 
me.  Lay  not  to  heart,  I  conjure  you  on  my  knees,  these  transports  of 
a  disordered  imagination.  Oh,  mercy  !  my  passion  drives  me  mad ; 
have  compassion  on  my  weakness ;  you  are  my  sole  support  and 
stay ;  if,  then,  my  life  is  not  indifferent  to  you,  deny  me  not  your  aid.' 
"  At  these  words  her  tears  flowed  in  fresh  torrents,  and  stifled  her 
lugubrious  accents.  She  took  out  her  handkerchief,  and  throwing 
it  over  her  face,  fell  into  a  chair  like  a  person  overcome  by  her 
affliction.  Old  Marcos,  who  was  perhaps  one  of  the  most  tractable 
go-betweens  in  the  world,  could  no  longer  steel  his  heart  against  so 
touching  a  spectacle.  Pierced  to  the  quick,  he  even  mingled  his 
tears  with  those  of  his  mistress,  and  spoke  to  her  in  a  softened  tone : 
'Ah,  madam,  why  are  you  thus  bewitching?  I  cannot  hold  out 
against  your  sorrowful  complaints ;  my  virtue  yields  under  the 
pressure  of  my  pity.  I  promise  you  all  the  relief  in  my  power.  No 
longer  do  I  marvel  at  the  oblivious  influence  of  passion  over  duty, 
since  mere  sympathy  can  mislead  my  footsteps  from  its  thorny 
paths.'  Thus  did  this  pander,  whose  past  life  has  been  one  con- 
tinued series  of  faithful  service  and  exemplary  conduct,  sell  himself 
to  the  devil  to  feed  Mergelina's  illicit  flame.  One  morning  he  came 
and  talked  over  the  whole  business  with  me,  saying  at  his  departure 
that  he  had  a  scheme  in  his  head  to  bring  about  a  private  interview 
between  us.  At  the  thought,  my  hopes  were  all  rekindled ;  but  they 
glimmered  tremblingly  in  the  socket  at  a  piece  of  news  1  heard  two 
hours  afterwards.  A  journeyman  apothecary  in  the  neighborhood, 
one  of  our  customers,  came  indto  be  shaved.  While  I  was  making 
ready  to  trim  his  bushy  honors,  he  said,  '  Master  Diego,  do  you 
know  anything  about  your  friend  the  old  usher,  Marcos  de  Obre- 
gon  ?  Is  he  not  going  to  leave  Dr.  Oloroso  ?'  I  said  '  No.'  '  But 
he  is,  though,'  replied  he  ;  '  he  will  get  his  dismission  this  very  day. 
His  master  and  mine  were  talking  about  it  just  now  in  my  hearing, 
and  their  conversation  was  to  the  following  effect :  "  Signor  Apun- 
tador,"  said  the  physician,  "  I  have  a  favor  to  beg  of  you.    I  am  not 


116  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

easy  about  an  old  usher  of  mine,  and  should  like  to  place  my  wife 
under  the  eye  of  a  trusty,  strict,  and  vigilant  duenna."  "  I  under- 
stand you,"  interrupted  my  master.  "  You  want  Dame  Melancia, 
my  wife's  directress,  and  indeed  mine  for  the  last  six  weeks,  since  I 
have  been  a  widower.  Though  she  would  be  very  useful  to  me  in 
housewifery,  I  give  her  up  to  you,  from  a  paramount  regard  to  your 
honor.  You  may  rely  upon  her  for  the  security  of  your  brow ;  she 
is  the  phoenix  of  the  duenna  tribe — a  spring-gun  and  a  man-trap 
set  in  the  purlieus  of  female  chastity.  During  twelve  whole  years 
that  she  was  about  my  wife,  whose  youth  and  beauty,  you  know, 
were  not  without  their  attractions,  I  never  saw  the  least  semblance 
of  manhood  within  my  doors.  No,  no  I  By  all  the  powers  I  that 
game  was  not  so  easily  played.  And  yet  I  must  let  you  know  that 
the  departed  saint — Heaven  rest  her  soul! — had  in  the  outset  a 
great  hankering  after  the  delights  of  the  flesh  ;  but  Dame  Melancia 
cast  her  in  a  new  mould,  and  regenerated  her  to  virtue  and  self- 
denial.  In  short,  such  a  guardian  of  the  weaker  sex  is  a  treasure, 
and  you  will  never  have  done  thanking  me  for  my  precious  gift." 
Hereupon  the  doctor  expressed  his  rapture  at  the  issue  of  the  con- 
ference, and  they  agreed  (Signor  Apuntador  and  he)  on  the  duenna's 
succeeding  the  old  usher  on  this  very  day,' 

"  This  news,  which  I  thought  probable,  and  turned  out  to  be  true, 
disturbed  the  pleasurable  ideas  just  now  beginning  to  flow  afresh, 
and  renovate  my  soul.  After  dinner,  Marcos  completed  the  convul- 
sion, by  confirming  the  young  drug-pounder's  story:  'My  dear 
Diego,'  said  the  good  squire,  'I  am  heartily  glad  that  Doctor  Olo- 
roso has  turned  me  off";  it  spares  me  a  world  of  trouble.  Besides 
that  it  hurt  my  feelings  to  be  invested  with  the  ofl5ce  of  a  spy,  end- 
less must  have  been  the  shifts  and  subterfuges  to  bring  you  and 
Mergelina  together  in  private.  We  should  have  been  rarely  gra- 
velled !  Thanks  to  Heaven,  I  am  set  free  from  all  such  perplexing 
cares,  to  say  nothing  of  their  attendant  danger.  On  your  part,  my 
dear  boy,  you  ought  to  be  comforted  for  the  loss  of  a  few  soft 
moments,  which  must  have  been  dogged  at  the  heels  by  a  thousand 
fears  and  vexations.'  I  relished  Marcos'  sermon  well  enough,  be- 
cause my  hopes  were  at  an  end — the  game  was  lost.  I  was  not,  it 
must  be  confessed,  among  the  number  of  those  stubborn  lovers  who 
bear  up  against  every  impediment ;  but  though  I  had  been  so,  Dame 
Melancia  would  have  made  me  let  go  my  hold.  The  established 
character  of  that  duenna  would  have  daunted  the  adventurous  spirit 
of  a  knight-errant.  Yet,  in  whatever  colors  this  phoenix  of  the 
duenna  tribe  might  have  been  painted,  I  had  reason  to  know,  two 
or  three  days  afterwards,  that  the  physician's  lady  had  unset  the 
man-trap  and  spring-gun,  and  given  a  stop  to  this  watch-dog  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  117 

lubricity.  As  I  was  going  out  to  shave  one  of  our  neighbors,  a  civil 
old  gentlewoman  stopped  me  in  the  street,  and  asked  me  if  my 
name  was  Diego  de  la  Fuenta.  I  said  '  Yes.'  *  That  being  the 
case,'  replied  she,  '  I  have  a  little  business  with  you.  Place  yourself 
this  evening  at  Donna  Mergelina's  door ;  and  when  you  are  there, 
give  a  signal,  and  you  shall  be  let  in.'  *  Vastly  well !'  said  I ;  '  what 
must  the  signal  be  ?  I  can  take  off  a  cat  to  the  life.  Suppose  I  was 
to  mew  a  certain  number  of  times.'  *  The  very  thing,'  replied  this 
Iris  of  intrigue  ;  '  I  will  carry  back  your  answer.  Your  most  obe- 
dient, Signor  Diego  !  Heaven  protect  the  sweet  youth  !  Ah,  you 
are  a  pretty  one  I  By  St.  Agnes,  I  wish  I  was  but  sweet  fifteen :  I 
would  not  go  to  market  for  other  folks  1'  With  this  hint,  the  old 
procuress  waddled  out  of  sight. 

"You  may  be  sure  this  message  put  me  in  no  small  flutter. 
Where  now  was  the  morality  of  Marcos?  I  waited  for  night  with 
impatience,  and,  calculating  the  time  of  Dr.  Oloroso's  going  to 
bed,  took  my  station  at  his  door.  There  I  set  up  my  caterwauling, 
till  you  might  hear  me  ever  so  far  off,  to  the  eternal  honor  of  the 
master  who  instructed  me  in  that  imitative  art.  A  moment  after, 
Mergelina  opened  the  door  softly  with  her  own  dear  hands,  and  shut 
it  again  with  me  on  the  inside.  We  went  into  the  hall,  where  our 
last  concert  had  been  performed.  It  was  dimly  lighted  by  a  small 
lamp,  which  twinkled  in  the  chimney.  We  sat  down  side  by  side, 
and  began  our  tender  parley,  each  of  us  overcome  by  our  emotions, 
but  with  this  difference,  that  hers  were  all  inspired  by  pleasure, 
while  mine  were  somewhat  tainted  by  fear.  In  vain  did  the  divinity 
of  my  adorations  assure  me  that  we  had  nothing  to  fear  from  her 
husband.  I  felt  the  access  of  an  ague,  which  unmanned  my  vigor. 
'  Madam,'  said  I,  '  how  have  you  eluded  the  vigilance  of  your  direct- 
ress? After  what  I  have  heard  of  Dame  Melancia,  I  could  not 
have  conceived  it  possible  for  you  to  contrive  the  means  of  sending 
me  any  intelligence,  much  less  of  seeing  me  in  private.'  Donna 
Mergelina  smiled  at  this  remark,  and  answered :  '  You  will  no  longer 
be  surprised  at  our  being  together  to-night  when  I  tell  you  what  has 
passed  between  my  duenna  and  me.  As  soon  as  she  came  to  her 
place,  my  husband  paid  her  a  thousand  compliments,  and  said  to 
me :  "  Mergelina,  I  consign  you  to  the  guidance  of  this  wary  lady, 
herself  an  abstract  of  all  the  virtues :  in  this  glass  you  may  look 
without  a  blush,  and  array  yourself  in  habits  of  wisdom.  This 
extraordinary  personage  has  for  these  twelve  years  been  a  light  to 
the  ways  of  an  apothecary's  wife  of  my  acquaintance ;  but  how  has 
she  been  a  light  to  them  ?  .  .  .  why,  as  ways  never  were  enlightened 
before:  she  turned  a  very  slippery  piece  of  mortal  flesh  into  a 
downright  nun." 


118  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

"  *  This  panegyric,  not  belied  by  the  austere  mien  of  Dame  Mel- 
ancia,  cost  me  a  flood  of  tears,  and  reduced  me  to  despair.  I  fan- 
cied tlie  din  of  eternal  lectures  from  morning  till  night,  and  daily 
rebukes  too  harsh  to  be  endured.  In  short,  I  laid  my  account  in  a 
life  of  wretchedness  beyond  the  patience  of  a  woman.  Keeping  no 
measures  in  the  expectation  of  such  cruel  sufferings,  I  said  bluntly 
to  the  duenna,  the  moment  I  was  alone  with  her :  "  You  mean,  no 
doubt,  to  exercise  your  tyranny  most  wantonly  on  my  poor  person  ; 
but  I  cannot  bear  much  severity,  I  warn  you  beforehand.  I  give 
you,  moreover,  fair  notice,  that  I  shall  be  as  savage  as  you  can  be. 
My  heart  cherishes  a  passion  which  not  all  your  remonstrances  shall 
tear  from  it :  so  you  may  act  accordingly.  Watch  me  as  closely  as 
you  please ;  it  is  hard  if  I  cannot  outwit  such  an  old  thing  as  you." 
At  these  taunting  words,  I  thought  this  saracen  in  petticoats  was 
going  to  give  me  a  specimen  of  her  discipline.  But,  so  far  from  it, 
she  smoothed  her  brow,  relaxed  her  surly  features,  and  primming 
up  her  mouth  into  a  smile,  promulgated  this  comfortable  doctrine: 
"  Your  temper  charms  me,  and  your  frankness  calls  for  a  return. 
We  must  have  been  made  for  one  another.  Ah  !  lovely  Mergelina, 
little  do  you  fathom  my  character,  to  be  deceived  by  the  fine  com- 
pliments of  your  husband  the  Doctor,  or  by  my  Tartar  contour ! 
There  was  never  a  creature  more  fortified  against  moral  prejudices  ! 
My  inducement  for  getting  into  the  service  of  jealous  husbands  ■is  to 
lend  myself  to  the  enjoyments  of  their  pretty  wives.  Long  have  I 
trodden  the  stage  of  life  in  masquerade;  and  I  may  call  myself 
doubly  happy,  in  the  spiritual  rewards  of  virtue,  and  the  temporal 
indulgences  of  the  opposite  side.  Between  ourselves,  mine  is  the 
system  of  all  mankind  in  the  long  run.  Real  virtue  is  a  very  expen- 
sive article:  plated  goods  look  just  as  well,  and  are  within  the  reach 
of  all  purchasers. 

" '  Put  yourself  under  my  direction.  We  will  make  Doctor  Oloroso 
pay  the  piper  to  our  dancing,  or  I  am  no  duenna.  By  my  troth,  he 
shall  go  the  way  of  Signor  Apuntador  and  all  mankind.  There  is 
no  reason  why  the  forehead  of  a  physician  should  be  smoother  than 
the  brow  of  an  apothecary.  Poor  dear  Apuntador!  What  fun 
have  we  had  with  him,  his  wife  and  1 1  A  charming  woman,  that 
wife  of  his  I  A  dear  little  creature,  open  to  all  mankind,  and  pre- 
judiced by  none !  Well  I  she  is  at  peace,  and  has  not  left  her  fellow 
behind  her !  Take  my  word,  short  as  her  time  was,  she  made  the 
most  of  it.  Let  me  see  how  many  rampant  chaps  have  been 
brought  to  their  bearings  in  that  house,  without  the  dear,  deluded 
husband  being  waked  out  of  his  evening's  nap!  Now,  madam, 
you  may  see  me  in  my  true  light;  and  assure  yourself,  whatever 
might  be  the  abilities  of  your  old  usher,  you  will  not  fiire  the 


ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  119 

worse  for  going  further.  If  he  was  a  benefit  to  you,  I  shall  be  a 
blessing." 

"  *  You  may  judge  for  yourself,  Diego,'  continued  Mergelina,  'how 
well  I  took  it  of  the  duenna,  that  she  laid  herself  open  so  frankly. 
I  had  taken  her  virtue  to  be  of  the  impenetrable  cast.  Look  you, 
now,  how  much  women  are  liable  to  be  scandalized.  But  her  char- 
acter of  plain  dealing  w^on  my  heart  at  once.  I  threw  my  arms 
about  her  neck  in  a  rapture,  which  bespoke  my  warm  and  tender 
feelings  at  the  thought  of  such  a  mother-abbess.  I  gave  her  carte 
blanche  of  all  my  private  thoughts,  and  put  in  for  a  speedy  tete-d- 
tSte  with  your  own  dear  self.  She  met  me  on  my  own  ground.  This 
very  morning  she  engaged  the  old  woman  who  spoke  to  you  to  take 
the  field  :  she  is  an  old  stager — a  veteran  in  the  service  of  the  apoth- 
ecary's wife.  But  the  best  of  the  joke  in  this  comedy,'  added  she, 
in  a  paroxysm  of  laughter,  '  is  that  Melancia,  on  my  assurance  that 
my  husband's  habit  is  to  pass  the  night  without  stirring,  is  gone  to 
bed  by  his  side,  and  drones  out  my  useless  ofiice  at  this  moment.' 
'So  much  the  worse,  madam,'  said  I  then  to  Mergelina;  'your  de- 
vice is  more  plausible  than  profitable.  Your  husband  is  very  likely 
to  wake,  and  discover  the  fraud.'  '  He  will  not  discover  anything 
about  it,'  replied  she,  with  no  little  urgency ;  '  set  your  heart  at  rest 
about  that,  and  let  not  an  empty  fear  poison  the  fountains  of  a 
pleasure  which  ought  to  drown  every  vulgar  and  earthly  considera- 
tion in  the  arms  of  a  young  lady  who  is  yours  forever,' 

"  The  old  doctor's  helpmate,  finding  that  her  assurances  had  little 
effect  upon  my  courage,  left  no  stone  unturned  to  put  me  in  heart 
again  ;  and  she  had  so  many  encouraging  ways  with  her,  that  a  very 
coward  must  have  plucked  up  a  little.  My  thoughts  were  all  with 
Jupiter  and  Alcmena;  but  at  the  very  moment  that  the  urchin 
Cupid,  with  his  train  of  smiles  and  antics,  was  weaving  a  garland 
to  compliment  the  crisis  of  our  endeavors,  we  were  stopped  in  our 
career  by  an  importunate  knocking  at  the  street  door.  In  a  mo- 
ment, away  flew  love,  and  all  his  covey,  like  game  at  the  report  of  a 
fowling-piece.  Mergelina  popped  me,  like  an  article  of  household 
furniture,  under  the  hall  table,  blew  out  the  lamp,  and,  by  previous 
agreement  with  her  governess,  in  the  event  of  so  unlucky  an  acci- 
dent, placed  herself  at  the  door  of  her  husband's  bedchamber.  In 
the  meantime,  the  knocking  continued  with  reiterated  violence,  till 
the  whole  house  resounded.  The  physician  awoke  suddenly,  and 
called  Melancia.  The  duenna  flung  herself  out  of  bed,  though  the 
doctor,  taking  her  for  his  wife,  begged  of  her  not  to  disturb  herself. 
She  ran  to  her  mistress,  who,  catching  hold  of  her  in  the  dark, 
began  calling  Melancia  !  and  told  her  to  go  and  see  who  was  at  the 
door.    *  Madam,'  answered  the  directress,  *  here  I  am  at  your  ser- 


120  ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

vice ;  go  to  bed  again,  if  you  please  ;  we  shall  soon  know  who  it  is.' 
During  this  parley,  Mergelina,  having  undressed,  got  into  bed  to 
the  doctor,  who  had  not  the  least  suspicion  of  the  farce  that  was 
playing.  To  be  sure  the  stage  was  darkened,  and  the  actresses  had 
very  little  occasion  for  a  prompter ;  one  of  them  was  familiar  with 
the  boards,  and  the  other  only  wanted  a  rehearsal  or  two  to  be  per- 
fect in  her  part. 

"  The  duenna,  in  her  night-gown,  made  her  appearance  soon  after, 
with  a  candle  in  her  hand.  *  Good  doctor,'  said  she  to  her  master, 
*  have  the  goodness  to  get  up.  Our  neighbor  Fernandez  de  Buendia, 
the  bookseller,  is  in  an  apoplectic  fit :  you  are  sent  for ;  time  presses.' 
The  physician  got  on  his  clothes  as  fast  as  he  could,  and  went  out. 
His  wife,  in  her  bed-gown,  came  into  the  hall  with  the  duenna. 
They  dragged  me  from  under  the  table  more  dead  than  alive.  '  You 
have  nothing  to  fear,  Diego,'  said  Mergelina ;  '  put  yourself  in  proper 
order.'  At  the  same  time  she  told  me  how  things  were  in  two  words. 
She  had  half  a  mind  to  renew  our  amorous  intercourse ;  but  the  di- 
rectress knew  better.  *  Madam,'  said  she, '  your  husband  may  possibly 
be  too  late  to  help  the  bookseller  to  the  other  world,  and  then  he 
will  return  immediately.  Besides,'  added  she,  observing  me  be- 
numbed with  fright,  *  it  would  be  all  lost  labor  upon  this  poor  youth  I 
He  is  not  in  a  condition  to  answer  your  demands.  You  had  better 
send  him  home,  and  defer  the  debate  till  to-morrow  evening.'  Donna 
Mergelina  was  sorry  for  the  delay,  as  well  knowing  that  a  bird  in 
hand  is  worth  two  in  the  bush ;  and  I  flatter  myself  that  she  was 
disappointed  at  not  putting  a  cuckold's  nightcap  on  the  doctor's 
head. 

"As  for  me,  less  grieved  at  having  drawn  a  blank  in  the  lottery  of 
love  than  rejoiced  at  getting  my  neck  out  of  an  halter,  I  returned  to 
my  master's,  where  I  passed  the  remainder  of  the  night  in  moral- 
izing on  the  scene  I  had  left.  For  some  time  I  was  in  doubt  whether 
to  keep  my  appointment  on  the  following  evening.  I  thought  it 
was  a  foolish  business  from  first  to  last ;  but  the  devil,  who  is  ahvays 
lurking  for  his  prey,  or  rather  taking  possession  of  us  as  his  lawful 
property,  whispered  in  my  ear  that  I  should  be  a  great  fool  to  pack 
up  my  all  when  the  prize  was  falling  into  my  hands.  Mergelina, 
too,  with  opening  and  unfathomable  charms !  The  exquisite  pleas- 
ure that  awaited  me !  I  determined  to  stick  to  my  text ;  and  pro- 
mising myself  a  larger  share  of  self-possession,  took  my  station  the 
next  evening  at  the  doctor's  door,  between  eleven  and  twelve,  in  a 
most  spirit-stirring  humor.  The  heavens  were  completely  dar- 
kened— not  a  star  to  prate  of  my  whereabouts.  I  mewed  twice  or 
thrice  to  give  warning  of  my  being  in  the  street;  and,  as  no  one 
answered  my  signal,  I  was  not  satisfied  with  going  over  the  old 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8.  121 

ground,  but  ran  up  and  down  the  cat's  gamut  from  bass  to  treble, 
and  from  treble  to  bass,  just  as  I  used  to  sol-fa  with  a  shepherd  of 
Olmedo,  I  tuned  my  fundamental  bass  so  musically,  that  a  neigh- 
bor on  his  return  home,  taking  me  for  one  of  those  animals  whose 
mewiugs  I  counterfeited,  picked  up  an  unlucky  flint  lying  at  his 
feet,  and  threw  it  at  me  with  all  his  force,  saying, '  The  devil  fetch 
that  cat !'  I  received  the  blow  on  my  head,  and  was  so  stunned  for 
the  moment,  that  I  was  very  near  falling  backward.  I  found  the 
skin  was  broken.  This  was  enough  in  all  conscience,  to  give  me  a 
surfeit  of  gallantry ;  so  that,  my  passion  oozing  out  with  my  blood, 
I  made  the  best  of  my  way  homewards^  where  I  rendered  night 
hideous  by  my  howling,  and  knocked  all  the  family  up.  My  mas- 
ter probed  my  wound,  and  played  the  true  surgeon  on  it ;  he  pro- 
nounced the  consequences  to  be  uncertain.  He  did  all  he  could  to 
make  them  certain ;  but  flesh  will  heal  in  spite  of  the  faculty ;  and 
there  was  not  a  scar  remaining  in  three  weeks.  During  all  this 
time,  I  heard  not  a  word  from  Mergelina.  The  probability  is  that 
Dame  Melancia,  to  wean  her  impure  thoughts  from  me,  engaged 
her  in  some  better  sport.  However,  I  did  not  concern  myself  about 
the  matter,  but  left  Madrid,  to  continue  my  tour  of  Spain,  as  soon 
as  I  found  myself  perfectly  recovered." 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


THE  MEETING  OF  GIL  BLAS  AND  HIS  COMPANION  WITH  A  MAN  SOAK- 
ING CBUSTS  OF  BKEAD  AT  A  SPRING,  AND  THE  PARTICXTLAK8  OF 
THEIR  CONVERSATION. 

SIGNOR  Diego  de  la  Fuenta  related  some  other  adventures 
which  had  since  happened  to  him,  but  they  were  so  little  wor- 
thy of  preservation,  that  I  shall  pass  them  by  in  silence.  Yet  there 
was  no  getting  rid  of  the  recital,  which  was  tedious  enough :  it 
lasted  as  far  as  Ponte  de  Duero.  We  halted  in  that  town  the  re- 
mainder of  the  day.  Our  commons  at  the  inn  consisted  of  a  vege- 
table soup  and  a  roast  hare,  whose  genus  and  species  we  took 
especial  pains  to  verify.  At  daybreak  on  the  following  morning  we 
resumed  our  journey,  after  having  replenished  our  flask  with  some 
very  tolerable  wine,  and  our  wallet  with  some  pieces  of  bread,  and 
half  the  hare  we  had  left  from  supper.  When  we  had  gone  about 
two  leagues,  we  waxed  hungry,  and  espying,  about  two  hundred 


122  ADVENTURES.  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

yards  from  the  high  road,  some  spreading  trees  which  threw  an 
agreeable  shade  over  the  plain,  we  made  up  to  the  spot,  and  rested 
on  our  arms.  There  we  met  with  a  man,  from  seven  to  eight-and- 
twenty,  who  was  dij^ping  crusts  of  bread  into  a  spring.  He  had  a  long 
sword  lying  by  him  on  the  grass,  with  a  soldier's  knapsack,  of  which 
he  had  eased  his  shoulders.  We  thought  his  air  and  person  better 
than  his  attire.  We  accosted  him  with  civility,  and  he  returned  our 
salutation.  He  then  offered  us  his  crusts,  and  asked,  with  a  smile, 
if  we  would  take  pot-luck  with  him.  We  answered  in  the  affirma- 
tive, provided  he  had  no  objection  to  our  clubbing  our  own  break- 
fast, by  way  of  making  the  meal  more  substantial.  He  agreed  to  it 
with  the  utmost  readiness,  and  we  immediately  produced  our  pro- 
visions, which  were  not  unacceptable  to  the  stranger.  "What  is  all 
this,  gentlemen,"  exclaimed  he,  in  a  transport  of  joy;  "here  is 
ammunition  for  an  army  I  By  your  forecast,  you  must  be  commis- 
saries or  quartermasters.  I  do  not  travel  with  so  much  contrivance, 
for  my  part,  but  depend  a  good  deal  on  the  chances  of  the  road.  At 
the  same  time,  though  appearances  may  be  against  me,  I  can  say, 
without  vanity,  that  I  sometimes  make  a  very  brilliant  figure  in  the 
world.  Would  you  believe  that  princely  honors  are  commonly  be- 
stowed on  me,  and  that  I  have  guards  in  attendance  ?"  "  I  compre- 
hend you,"  said  Diego ;  "  you  mean  to  tell  us  you  are  a  player." 
"You  guess  right,"  replied  the  other;  "I  have  been  an  actor  for 
these  fifteen  years  at  least.  From  my  very  infancy  I  was  sent  on 
the  boards  in  children's  parts."  "To  deal  freely,"  rejoined  the 
barber,  shaking  his  head,  "  I  do  not  believe  a  word  of  it,  I  know 
the  players ;  those  gentry  do  not  travel  on  foot,  like  you,  nor  do 
they  mess  with  St.  Anthony.  I  doubt  whether  you  are  anything 
better  than  a  candle-snuffer."  "  You  may,"  quoth  the  son  of  Thes- 
pis,  ''think  of  me  as  you  please;  but  my  parts,  for  all  that,  are  in 
the  first  line  :  I  play  the  lovers."  "  If  that  be  the  case,"  said  my 
companion,  "  I  wish  you  much  joy,  and  am  delighted  that  Signor 
Gil  Bias  and  myself  have  the  honor  of  breakfasting  with  so  eminent 
a  character." 

We  then  began  to  pick  up  our  crumbs,  and  to  gnaw  the  precious 
relics  of  the  hare,  bestowing  such  hearty  smacks  upon  the  bottle  as 
to  empty  it  very  shortly.  We  were  all  three  so  deeply  engaged  in 
the  great  affair  of  eating,  that  we  said  very  little  till  we  had 
finished,  when  we  resumed  our  conversation.  "  I  wonder,"  said  the 
barber  to  the  player,  "  that  you  should  be  so  much  out  at  elbows. 
For  a  theatrical  hero,  you  have  but  a  needy  exterior  I  I  beg  pardon 
if  I  speak  rather  freely."  "Rather  freely!"  exclaimed  the  actor; 
"  ah  I  by  my  troth,  you  are  not  yet  acquainted  with  Melchior  Zapata. 
Heaven  be  praised  I    I  have  no  mind  to  see  things  in  a  wrong  light. 


The  Poor  Actoii. 


p.  122. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  123 

You  do  me  a  pleasure  by  speaking  so  confidently,  for  I  love  to  un- 
bosom myself  without  reserve.  I  honestly  own  I  am  not  rich. 
Here,"  pursued  he,  showing  us  his  doublet  lined  with  playbills, 
"  this  is  the  common  stuff  which  serves  me  for  linings  ;  and  if  you 
are  curious  to  see  my  wardrobe,  you  shall  not  be  disappointed."  At 
the  same  time  he  took  out  of  his  knapsack  a  dress,  laced  with  tar- 
nished frippery ;  a  shabby  head-dress  for  a  hero,  with  an  old  plume 
of  feathers ;  silk  stockings,  full  of  holes,  and  red  morocco  shoes,  a 
great  deal  the  worse  for  wear.  "  You  see,"  said  he  again,  "  that  I 
am  very  little  better  than  a  beggar."  "  That  is  astonishing,"  re- 
plied Diego ;  "  then  you  have  neither  wife  nor  daughter  ?"  "  I 
have  a  very  handsome  young  wife,"  rejoined  Zapata,  "  and  yet  I 
might  just  as  well  be  without  her.  Look  with  awe  on  the  lowering 
aspect  of  my  horoscope,  I  married  a  personable  actress,  in  the 
hope  that  she  would  not  let  me  die  of  hunger ;  and,  to  my  cost,  she 
is  cursed  with  incorruptible  chastity.  Who  the  devil  would  not 
have  been  taken  in  as  well  as  myself?  There  was  but  one  virtuous 
princess  in  a  whole  strolling  company,  and  she,  plague  take  her ! 
fell  into  my  hands."  "  It  was  throwing  with  bad  luck  most  un- 
doubtedly," said  the  barber.  "  But  then,  why  did  not  you  look  out 
for  an  actress  in  the  regular  theatre  at  Madrid  ?  You  would  have 
been  sure  of  your  mark."  "  You  are  perfectly  in  the  right,"  re- 
plied the  stroller ;  "  but  the  mischief  is,  we  underlings  dare  not 
raise  our  thoughts  to  those  illustrious  heroines.  It  is  as  much  as  an 
actor  ^f  the  prince's  company  can  venture  on ;  nay,  some  of  them 
are  obliged  to  match  with  citizens'  daughters.  Happily  for  our  fra- 
ternity, citizens'  daughters,  nowadays,  contract  theatrical  notions ; 
and  you  may  often  meet  with  characters  among  them  to  the  full  as 
eccentric  as  any  bo7ia  roha  of  the  green-room." 

"  Well,  but  have  you  never  thought,"  said  my  fellow-traveller, 
"of  getting  an  engagement  in  that  company?  Is  it  necessary  to  be 
a  Roscius  for  that  purpose  ?"  "  That  is  very  well  of  you !"  replied 
Melchior,  "  you  are  a  wag  with  your  Eoscius  I  There  are  twenty 
performers.  Ask  the  town  what  it  thinks  of  them,  and  you  will 
hear  a  pretty  character  of  their  acting.  More  than  half  of  them 
deserve  to  carry  a  porter's  knot.  Yet,  for  all  that,  it  is  no  easy 
matter  to  get  upon,  the  boards.  Bribery  or  interest  must  make  up 
for  the  defect  of  talent.  I  ought  to  know  what  I  say,  since  my 
d6hu.i  at  Madrid,  where  I  was  hissed  and  cat-called  as  if  the  devil 
had  got  among  the  grimalkins,  though  I  ought  to  have  been  re- 
ceived with  thunders  of  applause ;  for  I  whined,  ranted,  and  offered 
all  sorts  of  violence  to  nature's  modesty ;  nay,  I  went  so  far  as  to 
clench  my  fist  at  the  heroine  of  the  piece ;  in  a  word,  I  adopted  the 
conceptions  of  all  the  great  performers ;  and  yet  that  same  audience 


124  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

condemned,  by  bell,  book,  and  candle,  in  me,  what  was  thought  to 
be  the  first  style  of  playing  in  them.  Such  is  the  force  of  prejudice! 
So  that,  being  no  favorite  with  the  pit,  and  not  Having  wherewithal 
to  insinuate  myself  into  the  good  graces  of  the  manager,  I  am  on 
my  return  to  Zamora.  There  we  shall  all  huddle  together  again, 
my  wife  and  my  fellow-comedians,  who  are  making  but  little  of  the 
business.  I  wish  we  may  not  be  obliged  to  beg  our  way  out  of 
town — a  catastrophe  of  too  frequent  occurrence  I" 

At  these  words,  up  rose  the  stage-struck  hero,  slung  across  him 
his  knapsack  and  his  sword,  and  made  his  exit  with  due  theatrical 
pomp :  "  Farewell,  gentlemen ;  may  all  the  gods  shower  all  their 
bounties  on  your  heads !"  "And  you,"  answered  Diego  with  cor- 
responding emphasis,  "  may  you  find  your  wife  at  Zamora,  softened 
down  in  her  relentless  virtue,  and  in  comfortable  keeping."  No 
sooner  had  Signor  Zapata  turned  upon  his  heel,  than  he  began  ges- 
ticulating and  spouting  as  he  went  along.  The  barber  and  myself 
immediately  began  hissing,  to  remind  him  of  his  first  appearance  at 
Madrid.  The  goose  grated  harsh  upon  his  tympanum  ;  he  took  it 
for  a  repetition  of  signals  from  his  old  friends.  But,  looking  behind 
him,  and  seeing  we  were  diverting  ourselves  at  his  expense,  far  from 
taking  offence  at  this  merry  conceit  of  ours,  he  joined  with  good 
humor  in  the  joke,  and  went  his  way,  laughing  as  hard  as  he  could. 
On  our  part,  we  returned  the  compliment  in  kind.  After  this,  we 
got  again  into  the  high  road,  and  pursued  our  journey. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

THE  MEETING  OF  DIEGO  WITH  HIS  FAMILY ;  THEIE  CIRCtTMSTANCES  IN 
LIFE ;  GREAT  REJOICINGS  ON  THE  OCCASION ;  THE  PARTING  SCENE 
BETWEEN  HIM   AND  GIL  BLAB. 

WE  stopped  for  the  night  at  a  little  village  between  Moyados 
and  Valpuesta — I  have  forgotten  the  name — and  the  next 
morning,  about  eleven,  we  reached  the  plain  of  01m6do.  "Signor 
Gil  Bias,"  said  my  companion,  "  behold  my  native  place.  So  natural 
are  these  local  attachments,  that  I  can  hardly  contain  myself  at  the 
sight  of  it."  "Signor  Diego,"  answered  I,  "a  man  of  so  patriotic 
a  soul  as  you  profess  to  be,  might,  methinks,  have  been  a  little  more 
florid  in  his  descriptions.  01m6do  looks  like  a  city  at  this  distance, 
and  you  called  it  a  village ;  it  cannot  be  anything  less  than  a  cor- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  126 

porate  town."  "  I  beg  its  township's  pardon,"  replied  the  barber ; 
"  but  you  are  to  know  that  after  Madrid,  Toledo,  Saragossa,  and  all 
the  other  large  cities  I  have  passed  through  in  my  tour  of  Spain, 
these  little  ones  are  mere  villages  to  me."  As  we  got  further  on  the 
plain,  there  appeared  to  be  a  great  concourse  of  people  about  01- 
m6do ;  so  that,  when  we  were  near  enough  to  distinguish  objects, 
we  were  in  no  want  of  food  for  speculation. 

There  were  three  tents  pitched  at  some  distance  from  each  other ; 
and,  hard-by,  a  bevy  of  cooks  and  scullions  preparing  an  entertain- 
ment. Here,  a  party  was  laying  covers  on  long  tables  set  out  under 
the  tents ;  there,  a  detachment  was  crowning  the  pitchers  of  Tellus 
with  the  gifts  of  Bacchus.  The  right  wing  was  making  the  pots 
boil,  the  left  was  turning  the  spits  and  basting  the  meat.  But  what 
caught  my  attention  more  than  all  the  rest,  was  a  temporary  stage 
of  respectable  dimensions.  It  was  furnished  with  pasteboard  scenes, 
painted  in  a  tawdry  style,  and  the  proscenium  was  decorated  with 
Greek  and  Latin  mottoes.  No  sooner  did  the  barber  spy  out  these 
inscriptions,  than  he  said  to  me:  "All  these  Greek  words  smell 
strongly  of  my  uncle  Thomas's  lamp.  I  would  lay  a  wager  he  has 
a  hand  in  them,  for,  between  ourselves,  he  is  a  man  of  parts  and 
learning.  He  knows  all  the  classics  by  heart.  If  he  would  keep 
them  to  himself  it  would  be  very  well,  but  he  is  always  quoting  them 
in  company,  and  that  people  do  not  like.  But  then,  to  be  sure,  he 
has  a  right,  because  this  uncle  of  mine  has  translated  ever  so  many 
of  the  Latin  poets  and  hard  Greek  authors  with  his  own  hand  and 
pen.  He  has  got  all  antiquity  at  his  fingers'  ends,  as  you  may  know 
by  his  ingenious  and  profound  criticisms.  If  it  had  not  been  for 
him,  we  might  never  have  learned  that  the  Athenian  schoolboys 
cried  when  they  were  flogged ;  we  owe  that  fact  in  the  history  of 
education  to  his  fundamental  knowledge  of  the  subject," 

After  my  fellow-traveller  and  myself  had  looked  about  us,  we  had 
a  mind  to  inquire  what  these  preparations  were  for.  Going  about 
on  the  hunt,  Diego  recognized  in  the  manager,  Signor  Thomas  de  la 
Fuenta,  to  whom  we  made  up  with  great  eagerness.  The  school- 
master did  not  recollect  the  young  barber  at  first,  such  a  difference 
had  ten  years  made.  But  when  convinced  of  his  being  his  own 
flesh  and  blood,  he  gave  him  a  cordial  embrace,  and  said,  with  much 
appearance  of  kindness,  "  Ah !  here  you  are  Diego,  my  dear  nephew, 
here  you  are,  restored  after  your  wanderings  to  your  native  land. 
You  come  to  revisit  your  household  gods,  your  Penates ;  and  heaven 
delivers  you  back,  safe  and  sound,  into  the  bosom  of  your  family. 
O,  happy  day  !  happy  in  all  the  proportions  of  arithmetic  1 — a  day 
worthy  to  be  marked  with  a  white  stone,  and  inserted  among  the 
Fasti  1    We  have  annals  in  abundance  for  you,  my  friend ;  your 


126  V  ADVENTUBES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

uncle  Pedro,  the  poetaster,  has  fallen  a  sacrifice  at  the  shrine  of 
Pluto :  to  speak  to  the  comprehension  of  the  vulgar,  he  has  been 
dead  these  three  mouths.  That  miser,  in  his  lifetime,  was  afraid  of 
wanting  necessaries — Argetiti  pallebat  arnore.  Though  the  great 
were  heaping  wealth  upon  his  head,  his  annual  expenditure  did  not 
amount  to  ten  pistoles.  He  had  but  one  miserable  attendant,  and 
him  he  starved.  This  crazy  fellow,  more  wrong-headed  thau  Gre- 
cian Aristippus,  who  ordered  his  slaves  to  leave  all  their  costly  bag- 
gage in  the  heart  of  Lybia,  as  an  incumbrance  on  their  marck, 
heaped  up  all  the  gold  and  silver  he  could  scrape  together.  And  to 
what  end  ?  for  those  very  heirs  whom  he  refused  to  acknowledge. 
He  died  worth  thirty  thousand  ducats,  shared  between  your  father, 
your  uncle  Bertrand,  and  myself.  We  shall  be  able  to  do  very  well 
for  our  children.  My  brother  Nicholas  has  already  married  off  your 
sister  Theresa  to  the  son  of  a  magistrate  in  this  place — Connubio 
junxit  stabili  propriamque  dicavit.  These  very  hymeneals,  greeted 
auspiciously  by  all  the  nuptial  powers,  have  we  been  celebrating  for 
these  two  days  with  all  this  pomp  and  luxury.  These  tents  in  the 
plain  are  of  our  pitching.  Pedro's  three  heirs  have  each  a  booth  of 
his  own,  and  we  defray  the  expenses  of  the  day  alternately.  I  wish 
you  had  come  sooner,  you  might  have  seen  the  whole  progress  of 
our  festivities.  The  day  before  yesterday — the  wedding-day — your 
father  gave  his  treat.  It  was  a  superb  entertainment,  succeeded  by 
running  at  the  ring.  Your  uncle,  the  mercer,  regaled  us,  yesterday, 
with  a  fete  champetre,  and  paid  the  piper  handsomely.  There  were 
ten  of  the  best  grown  boys,  and  ten  young  girls,  dressed  out  in  pas- 
toral weeds;  all  the  frippery  in  his  shop  was  brought  out  to  prank 
them  up.  This  assemblage  of  Ganymedes  and  Houris  ran  through 
all  the  mazes  of  the  dance,  and  warbled  forth  a  thousand  tender  and 
spirit-stirring  lays.  And  yet,  though  nothing  was  ever  more  genteel, 
the  effect  was  not  thought  striking;  but  that  must  be  owing  to  the 
bad  taste  of  the  spectators — the  simplicity  of  pastoral  is  lost  upon 
the  present  age. 

"  To-day,  the  wheels  are  greased  by  your  humble  servant,  and  I 
mean  to  present  the  burgesses  of  Olm^do  with  a  pageant  of  my  own 
invention — Finis  coronabit  optis.  I  have  got  a  stage  erected,  on  which, 
God  willing,  shall  be  represented  by  my  scholars,  a  piece  of  my  own 
composing,  entitled  and  called.  The  Amusements  of  Muley  Bugentuf, 
King  of  Morocco.  It  will  be  played  to  perfection,  for  my  pupils  de- 
claim like  the  players  of  Madrid.  They  are  lads  of  family  at 
Penafiel  and  Segovia,  boarders  with  me.  They  know  how  to  touch 
the  passions  I  To  be  sure  they  have  rehearsed  under  my  tuition ; 
their  emphasis  will  seem  as  if  stnick  in  the  mint  of  their  ma.ster — ut 
ita  dicam.    With  respect  to  the  piece  I  shall  not  say  a  word  about 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  127 

it — you  shall  be  taken  by  surprise.  I  shall  simply  state  that  it 
must  produce  a  deep  impression  on  the  audience.  It  is  one  of  those 
tragic  subjects  which  harrow  up  the  soul,  by  images  of  death  pre- 
sented to  the  senses  in  all  their  fearful  forms.  I  am  of  Aristotle's 
mind,  terror  is  a  principal  engine.  O  !  if  I  had  written  for  the  stage, 
I  would  have  introduced  none  but  bloody  tyrants,  and  death-dis- 
pensing heroes.  Not  all  the  perfumes  of  Arabia  should  have  sweet- 
ened this  blood-polluted  hand ;  I  would  have  been  up  to  my  elbows 
in  gore.  There  would  have  been  tragedy  with  a  vengeance ;  prin- 
cipal characters !  ay,  guards  and  attendants  should  all  have  been 
sprawling  together.  I  would  have  butchered  every  man  of  them, 
and  the  prompter  into  the  bargain.  In  a  word,  I  refine  upon  Ajp'is- 
totle,  and  border  on  the  horrible — that  is  my  taste.  These  plays  to 
tear  a  cat  in,  are  the  only  things  for  popularity ;  the  actors  live 
merrily  on  their  own  dying  speeches,  and  the  authors  roll  in  luxury 
on  the  devastation  of  mankind." 

Just  as  this  harangue  was  over,  we  saw  a  great  crowd  of  both 
sexes  coming  out  of  town  into  the  plain.  Who  should  it  be,  but 
the  new-married  couple,  attended  by  their  families  and  friends,  with 
ten  or  twelve  musicians  in  the  van,  producing  a  most  obstreperous 
din  of  harmony.  We  went  up  to  them,  and  Diego  introduced  him- 
self. Peals  of  congratulation  were  immediately  rung  through  the 
assembly,  and  every  one  was  eager  to  shake  him  by  the  hand.  He 
haa  enough  upon  his  shoulders  to  receive  all  their  fraternal  em- 
braces. Relations  and  strangers,  all  were  for  having  a  pull  at  him. 
At  length  his  father  said  :  "You  are  welcome,  Diego.  You  find  your 
kinsmen  living  upon  the  fat  of  the  land,  my  friend.  I  shall  say  no 
more  at  present :  a  nod  is  as  good  as  a  wink."  Meanwhile  the  com- 
pany went  forward  upon  the  plain,  took  their  stations  under  the 
tents,  and  sat  down  to  table.  I  kept  close  to  my  companion,  and  we 
both  dined  with  the  happy  couple,  who  appeared  to  be  suitably 
matched.  The  meal  was  not  soon  over,  for  the  schoolmaster  had 
the  vanity  to  give  three  courses,  for  the  purpose  of  cutting  out 
his  brothers,  who  had  not  been  so  magnificent  in  their  hospital- 
ities. 

After  the  banquet,  all  the  guests  expressed  their  longings  to  see 
Signer  Thomas's  play,  not  doubting  but  the  performance  of  so  ex- 
traordinary a  genius  would  deserve  all  their  ears.  We  came  in  front 
of  the  stage;  the  musicians  had  taken  possession  of  the  orchestra, 
for  the  overture  and  act-tunes.  While  every  one  was  waiting  in 
profound  silence  for  the  rising  of  the  curtain,  the  actors  appeared  on 
the  boards;  and  the  author,  with  the  piece  in  his  hand,  sat  down  at 
the  wing,  in  the  prompter's  place.  Well  might  he  call  it  a  tragedy; 
for,  in  the  first  act,  the  King  of  Morocco,  by  way  of  diversion,  shot 


128  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

an  hundred  Moorish  slaves  with  arrows ;  in  the  second,  he  beheaded 
thirty  Portuguese  officers,  taken  prisoners  by  one  of  his  captains;  in 
the  third  and  last,  this  monarch,  surfeited  with  long-indulged  liber- 
tinism, set  fire  with  his  own  hands  to  the  seraglio  where  his  wives 
were  confined,  and  reduced  it  to  ashes  with  its  inhabitants.  The 
Moorish  slaves,  as  well  as  the  Portuguese  officers,  were  puppets  on 
a  very  curious  construction ;  and  the  palace,  built  of  pasteboard, 
looked  very  naturally  in  flames  by  means  of  an  artificial  firework. 
This  conflagration,  accompanied  by  a  thousand  piercing  cries, 
issuing  from  the  ruins,  concluded  the  piece,  and  the  curtain  dropped 
upon  this  amiable  entertainment.  The  whole  plain  resounded  with 
the.  applause  of  this  fine  tragedy,  which  spoke  for  the  good  taste  of 
the  poet,  and  proved  that  he  knew  where  to  look  out  for  a  subject. 

I  did  not  suppose  there  was  anything  more  to  be  seen  after  The 
Amusements  of  Mvley  Bugentuf ;  but  I  was  mistaken.  Kettle-drums 
and  trumpets  announced  a  new  exhibition — the  distribution  of 
prizes — for  Thomas  de  la  Fuenta,  to  give  additional  solemnity  to 
his  Olympics,  had  made  all  his  boys,  as  well  as  day-scholars  and 
boarders,  write  exercises ;  and  on  this  occasion  he  was  to  give  to 
those  who  had  succeeded  best,  books  bought  at  Segovia  out  of 
his  own  pocket.  All  at  once  were  brought  upon  the  stage  two  long 
forms  out  of  the  school,  with  a  press,  full  of  old,  warm-eaten  books, 
in  fine,  new  bindings.  At  this  signal,  all  the  actors  returned  upon 
the  stage,  and  took  their  places  round  Signor  Thomas,  who  looked 
as  big  as  the  haad  of  a  college.  He  had  a  sheet  of  paper  in  his 
hand,  with  the  names  of  the  successful  candidates.  This  he  gave 
to  the  King  of  Morocco,  who  began  calling  over  the  list  witli  an 
authoritative  voice.  Each  scholar,  answering  to  his  name,  went 
humbly  to  receive  a  book  from  the  hands  of  the  bum-jerker ;  after 
this,  he  was  crowned  with  laurel,  and  seated  on  one  of  the  two 
benches,  to  be  exposed  to  the  gaze  of  the  admiring  company.  Yet, 
desirous  as  the  schoolmaster  might  be  to  send  the  spectators  away 
in  good  burner,  he  brought  his  eggs  to  a  bad  market ;  for,  having 
distributed  almost  all  the  prizes  to  the  boarders,  accor.ling  to  the 
usual  etiquette  of  pedagogues,  that  those  who  pay  most  must  neces- 
sarily be  the  cleverest  fellows,  the  mammas  of  certain  day-scholars 
caught  fire  at  this  instance  of  partiality,  and  fell  foul  of  the  discip- 
linarian thereupon :  so  that  the  festival,  hitherto  so  much  to  the 
glory  of  the  donor,  seemed  likely  to  have  ended  to  the  same  tune  as 
.  the  carousal  of  the  Lapithse. 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  129 


BOOK   III. 


CHAPTER    I. 

THE  ARRIVAL  OF  GIL  BLAS  AT  MADRID.     HIS  FIRST  PLACE  THERE. 

I  MADE  some  stay  with  the  young  barber.  At  my  departure,  I 
met  with  a  traveller  of  Segovia,  passing  through  Ohn6do.  He 
was  returning  with  four  mules  from  a  trading  expedition  to  Vallado- 
lid,  and  took  me  by  way  of  back  carriage.  We  got  acquainted  on  the 
road,  and  he  took  such  a  fancy  to  me,  that  nothing  would  serve  him 
but  I  must  be  his  guest  at  Segovia.  He  gave  me  free  quarters  for  two 
days,  and  when  he  found  me  determined  to  leave  him  for  Madrid 
under  convoy  of  a  muleteer,  he  gave  me  a  letter,  begging  me  to  de- 
liver it  in  person  according  to  the  superscription,  not  hinting  that 
it  was  a  letter  of  recommendation.  I  was  punctual  in  calling  on 
Signer  Matheo  Melendez.  He  was  a  woollen-draper,  living  at  the  gat« 
of  the  Sun,  at  the  corner  of  Trunkmaker  street.  No  sooner  had  he 
broken  the  cover  and  read  the  contents,  than  he  said,  with  an  air  of 
complacency,  "  Signer  Gil  Bias,  my  correspondent,  Pedro  Palacio, 
has  written  me  so  pressingly  in  your  favor,  that  I  cannot  do  other- 
wise than  offer  you  a  bed  at  my  house ;  moreover,  he  desires  me  to 
find  you  a  good  master,  and  I  undertake  the  commission  with  plea- 
sure.    I  have  no  doubt  of  suiting  you  to  a  hair." 

I  embraced  the  offer  of  Melendez  the  more  gratefully  because  my 
funds  were  getting  much  below  par ;  but  I  was  not  long  a  burden 
on  his  hospitality.  At  the  week's  end  he  told  me  that  he  had  men- 
tioned my  name  to  a  gentleman  of  his  acquaintance,  who  wanted  a 
valet-de-chambre,  and,  according  to  present  appearances,  the  place 
would  not  be  long  vacant.  In  fact,  this  gentleman  happened  to 
make  his  appearance  in  the  very  nick.  "Sir,"  said  Melendez,  push- 
ing me  forward,  "you  see  before  you  the  young  man  as  by  former 
advice.  He  is  a  pupil  of  honor  and  integrity.  I  can  answer  for 
him  as  if  he  was  one  of  my  own  family."  The  gentleman  looked  at 
me  with  attention,  said  that  my  face  was  in  my  favor,  and  hired  me 
at  once.  "  He  has  nothing  to  do  but  to  follow  me,"  added  he ;  "I 
will  put  him  into  the  routine  of  his  employment."  At  these  words 
he  wished  the  tradesman  good-morning,  and  took  me  into  the 
High  street,  directly  over  against  St.  Philip's  Church.  We  went 
into  a  very  handsome  house,  of  which  he  occupied  one  wing ;  then, 
going  up  five  or  six  steps,  he  took  me  into  a  room  secured  by  stroug 


130  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

double  doors,  with  an  iron  grate  between.  From  this  room  we  went 
into  another,  with  a  bed  and  other  furniture,  rather  neat  than 
gaudy. 

If  my  new  master  had  examined  me  closely,  I  had  all  my  wits 
about  me  as  well  as  he.  He  was  a  man  on  the  wrong  side  of  fifty, 
with  a  saturnine  and  serious  air.  His  temper  seemed  to  be  even, 
aud  I  thought  no  harm  of  him.  He  asked  me  several  questions 
about  my  family,  and,  liking  my  answers,  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  I 
take  you  to  be  a  very  sensible  lad,  and  am  well  pleased  to  have  you 
in  my  service.  On  your  part,  you  shall  have  no  reason  to  complain. 
1  will  give  you  six  rials  a  day  board  wages,  besides  vails.  Then  I 
require  no  great  attendance,  for  I  keep  no  table,  but  always  dine 
out.  You  will  only  have  to  brush  my  clothes,  and  be  your  own 
master  for  the  rest  of  the  day.  Only  take  care  to  be  at  home  early 
in  the  evening,  and  to  be  in  waiting  at  the  door — that  is  your  chief 
duty."  After  this  lecture,  he  took  six  rials  out  of  his  purse,  and 
gave  them  to  me  as  an  earnest.  We  then  went  out ;  he  locked  the 
doors  after  him,  and,  taking  care  of  the  keys,  "  My  friend,"  said  he, 
"  you  need  not  go  with  me :  follow  the  devices  of  your  own  heart ; 
but  on  my  return  this  evening,  let  me  find  you  on  that  staircase." 
With  this  injunction,  he  left  me  to  dispose  of  myself  as  seemed  best 
in  my  own  eyes. 

"In  good  sooth,  Gil  Bias,"  said  I  in  a  soliloquy,  "you  have  got 
a  jewel  of  a  master.  What !  iall  in  with  an  employer  to  give  you 
six  rials  a  day  for  wiping  off"  the  dust  from  his  clothes,  and  putting 
his  room  to  rights  in  the  morning,  with  the  liberty  of  walking 
about  and  taking  your  pleasure  like  a  schoolboy  in  the  holidays ! 
By  my  troth !  it  is  a  place  of  ten  thousand.  No  wonder  I  was  in  a 
hurry  to  get  to  Madrid  ;  it  was  doubtless  some  mysterious  boding  of 
good  fortune  prepared  for  me."  I  spent  the  day  in  the  streets, 
diverting  myself  with  gaping  at  novelties — a  busy  occupation.  In 
the  evening,  after  supping  at  an  ordinary  not  far  from  our  house,  I 
squatted  myself  down  in  the  corner  pointed  out  by  my  master.  He 
came  three  quarters  of  an  hour  after  me,  and  seemed  pleased  with 
my  punctuality.  "Very  well,"  said  he;  "this  is  right:  I  like 
attentive  servants."  At  these  words  he  opened  the  doors  of  his  apart- 
ment, and  closed  them  upon  us  again  as  soon  as  we  got  in.  As  we 
had  no  candle,  he  took  his  tinder-box  and  struck  a  light.  I  then 
helped  him  to  undress.  When  he  was  in  bed,  I  lighted,  by  his 
order,  a  lamp  in  his  chimney,  and  carried  the  wax-light  into  the 
ante-chamber,  where  I  lay  in  a  press-bed  without  curtains.  He  got 
up  the  next  day  between  nine  and  ten  o'clock.  I  brushed  his 
clothes.  He  paid  me  my  six  rials,  and  sent  me  packing  till  the 
evening.    My  mysterious  master  went  out  himself,  too,  not  without 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  131 

great  caution  in  fastening  the  doors,  and  we  parted  for  the  remain- 
der of  the  day. 

Such  was  the  course  of  life,  very  agreeable  to  me.  The  best 
of  the  joke  was,  that  I  did  not  know  my  master's  name.  Melendez 
did  not  know  it  himself.  The  gentleman  came  to  his  shop  now  and 
then,  and  bought  a  piece  of  cloth.  My  neighbors  were  as  much  at 
a  loss  as  myself ;  they  all  assured  me  that  my  master  was  a  perfect 
stranger,  though  he  had  lived  two  years  in  the  ward.  He  visited  no 
soul  in  the  neighborhood,  and  some  of  them,  a  little  given  to  scan- 
dal, concluded  him  to  be  no  better  than  he  should  be.  Suspicions 
got  to  be  more  rife ;  he  was  suspected  of  being  a  spy  of  Portugal, 
and  it  was  thought  but  fair  play  to  give  a  hint  for  my  own  good. 
This  intimation  troubled  me.  Thought  I  to  myself,  should  this 
turn  out  to  be  a  fact,  1  stand  a  chance  for  seeing  the  inside  of  a 
prison  at  Madrid.  My  innocence  will  be  no  security ;  my  past  ill- 
usage  makes  me  look  on  justice  with  antipathy.  Twice  have  I  ex- 
perienced that  if  the  innocent  are  not  condemned  in  a  lump  with 
the  guilty,  at  least  the  rights  of  hospitality  are  too  little  regarded  in 
their  persons  to  make  it  pleasant  to  pass  a  summer  in  the  purlieus 
of  the  law. 

1  consulted  Melendez  in  so  delicate  a  conjecture.  He  was  at  a 
loss  how  to  advise  me.  Though  he  could  not  bring  himself  to  be- 
lieve that  my  master  was  a  spy,  he  had  no  reason  to  be  confident  on 
the  other  side  of  the  question,  1  determined  to  watch  my  employer, 
and  to  leave  him  if  he  turned  out  to  be  an  enemy  of  the  state;  but 
then  prudence  and  personal  comfort  required  me  to  be  certain  of  my 
fact.  1  began,  therefore,  to  pry  into  his  actions  ;  and,  to  sound  him, 
"  Sir,"  said  1  one  evening  while  he  was  undressing,  "  I  do  not  know 
how  one  ought  to  live  so  as  to  be  secure  from  reflections.  The  world 
is  very  scurrilous  I  We,  among  others,  have  neighbors  not  worth  a 
curse.  Sad  dogs !  You  have  no  notion  how  they  talk  of  us."  "  Do 
they  indeed,  Gil  Bias  ?"  quoth  he.  "  Be  it  so  1  but  what  can  they 
say  of  us,  my  friend  ?"  "Ah  1  truly,"  replied  I,  "  evil  tongues  never 
want  a  whet.  Virtue  herself  furnishes  weapons  for  her  own  mar- 
tyrdom. Our  neighbors  say  that  we  are  dangerous  people,  that  we 
ought  to  be  looked  after  by  government ;  in  a  word,  you  are  taken 
for  a  spy  of  Portugal."  In  throwing  out  this  hint,  I  looked  hard  at 
my  master,  just  as  Alexander  squinted  at  his  physician,  and  pursed 
up  all  my  penetration  to  remark  upon  the  effect  of  my  intelligence. 
There  seemed  to  be  a  hitch  in  the  muscles  of  my  mysterious  lord, 
altogether  in  unison  with  the  suspicions  of  the  neighborhood,  and  he 
fell  into  a  brown  study,  which  bore  no  very  auspicious  interpretation. 
However,  he  put  a  better  face  on  the  matter,  and  said,  with  sufiicient 
composure:  ''Gil  Bias,  leave  our  neighbors  to  discourse  as  thej 


132  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

please,  but  let  not  our  repose  depend  on  their  judgments.  Never 
mind  what  they  think  of  us,  provided  our  own  consciences  do  not 
wince." 

Hereupon  he  went  to  bed,  and  1  did  the  like,  without  knowing 
what  course  to  take.  The  next  day,  just  as  we  were  on  the  point  of 
going  out  in  the  morning,  we  heard  a  violent  knocking  at  the  outer 
door  on  the  staircase.  My  master  opened  the  inner,  and  looked 
through  the  grate.  A  well-dressed  man  said  to  him :  "  Please  your 
honor,  1  am  an  alguazil,  come  to  inform  you  that  Mr.  Corregidor 
wishes  to  speak  a  word  with  you."  "  What  does  he  want?"  answered 
my  pattern  of  secresy.  "That  is  more  than  I  know,  sir,"  replied 
the  alguazil ;  "but  you  have  only  to  go  and  wait  on  him  ;  you  will 
soon  be  informed."  "I  am  his  most  obedient,''  quoth  my  master; 
"  1  have  no  business  with  him."  At  the  tale  of  this  speech,  he 
banged  the  inner  door ;  then,  after  w-alking  up  and  down  a  little 
while,  like  one  who  pondered  on  the  discourse  of  the  alguazil,  he 
put  my  six  rials  into  my  hand,  and  said :  "  Gil  Bias,  you  may  go 
out,  my  friend  ;  for  my  part,  I  shall  stay  at  home  a  little  longer,  but 
have  no  occasion  for  you."  He  made  an  impression  on  my  mind,  by 
these  words,  that  he  was  afraid  of  being  taken  up,  and  was,  there- 
fore, obliged  to  remain  in  his  apartments.  I  left  him  there ;  and, 
to  see  how  far  my  suspicions  were  founded,  hid  myself  in  a  place 
whence  I  could  see  if  he  went  out.  I  should  have  had  patience  to 
have  staid  there  all  the  morning,  if  he  had  not  saved  me  the  trouble. 
But  an  hour  after,  I  saw  him  walk  the  street  with  an  ease  and  con- 
fidence which  dumbfounded  my  sagacity.  Yet  far  from  yielding  to 
these  appearances,  I  mistrusted  them  ;  for  my  verdict  went  to  con- 
demnation. I  considered  his  easy  carriage  as  put  on,  and  his  staying 
at  home  as  a  finesse  to  secure  his  gold  and  jewels,  when  probably  he 
was  going  to  consult  his  safety  by  speedy  flight.  I  had  no  idea  of 
seeing  him  again,  and  doubted  whether  I  should  attend  at  his  door 
in  the  evening ;  so  persuaded  was  I,  that  the  day  would  see  him  on 
the  outside  of  the  city,  as  his  only  refuge  from  impending  danger. 
Yet  I  kept  my  appointment;  when,  to  my  extreme  surprise,  my 
master  returned  as  usual.  He  went  to  bed  without  betraying  the 
least  uneasiness,  and  got  up  the  next  morning  with  the  same  com- 
posure. 

Just  as  he  had  finished  dressing,  another  knock  at  the  door !  My 
master  looked  through  the  grate.  His  friend  the  alguazil  was  there 
again,  and  he  asked  him  what  he  wanted.  "Open  the  door,"  an- 
swered the  alguazil ;  "  here  is  Mr.  Corregidor."  At  this  dreadful 
name,  my  blood  froze  in  my  veins.  I  had  a  devilish  loathing  of 
those  gentry  since  I  had  passed  through  their  hands,  and  could  have 
wished  myself  at  that  moment  an  hundred  leagues  from  Madrid. 


I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  133 

As  for  my  employer,  less  startled  than  myself,  he  opened  the  door, 
and  received  the  magistrate  respectfully.  "  You  see,"  said  the  cor- 
regidor,  "  that  I  do  not  break  in  upon  you  with  a  whole  posse  :  my 
maxim  is  to  do  business  in  a  quiet  way.  In  spite  of  the  ugly  reports 
circulated  about  you  in  the  city,  I  think  you  deserve  some  little 
attention.  What  is  your  name,  and  business  at  Madrid  ?"  "  Sir," 
answered  my  master,  "  I  am  from  New  Castile,  and  my  title  is  Don 
Bernard  de  Castil  Blazo.  With  respect  to  my  way  of  life,  I  lounge 
about,  frequent  public  places,  and  take  my  daily  pleasure  in  a  select 
circle  of  polite  company."  "  Of  course  you  have  a  handsome  for- 
tune 1"  replied  the  judge.  "  No,  sir,"  interrupted  my  Mecenas;  "I 
have  neither  annuities,  nor  lands,  nor  houses."  "  How  do  you  live, 
then  ?"  rejoined  the  corregidor.  "  I  will  show  you,"  replied  Don 
Bernard.  At  the  same  time  he  lifted  up  a  part  of  the  hangings, 
before  a  door  1  had  not  observed,  opened  that  and  one  beyond,  then 
took  the  magistrate  into  a  closet  containing  a  large  chest  chuck-full 
of  gold. 

"  Sir,"  said  he,  again,  "  you  know  that  the  Spaniards  are  prover- 
bially indolent ;  yet,  whatever  may  be  their  general  dislike  to  labor, 
I  may  compliment  myself  on  bettering  the  example.  I  have  a  stock 
of  laziness,  which  disqualifies  me  for  all  exertion.  If  I  had  a  mind 
to  puff  my  vices  into  virtues,  I  might  call  this  sloth  of  mine  a  philo- 
sophical indifference,  the  work  of  a  mind  weaned  from  all  that 
worldlings  court  with  so  much  ardor ;  but  I  will  frankly  own  myself 
constitutionally  lazy,  and  so  lazy,  that,  rather  than  work  for  my 
subsistence,  I  would  lay  myself  down  and  starve.  Therefore,  to  lead 
a  life  befitting  my  fancy,  not  to  have  the  trouble  of  looking  after  my 
affairs,  and,  above  all,  to  do  without  a  steward,  I  have  converted  all 
my  patrimony,  consisting  of  several  considerable  estates,  into  ready 
money.  In  this  chest  there  are  fifty  thousand  ducats ;  more  than 
enough  for  the  remainder  of  my  days,  should  I  live  to  be  an  hun- 
dred I  For  I  do  not  spend  a  thousand  a  year,  and  am  already  more 
than  fifty  years  old.  I  have  no  fears,  therefore,  for  futurity,  since  I 
am  not  addicted,  Heaven  be  praised  1  to  any  one  of  the  three  things 
which  usually  ruin  men.  I  care  little  for  the  pleasures  of  the  table; 
I  only  play  for  my  amusement ;  and  I  have  given  up  women.  There 
is  no  chance  of  my  being  reckoned  in  my  old  age  among  those  libi- 
dinous gray  birds  to  whom  jilts  sell  their  favors  by  troy  weight." 

"  You  are  a  happy  man !"  said  the  corregidor.  "  They  are  in  the 
wrong  to  suspect  you  of  being  a  spy ;  that  office  is  quite  out  of  char- 
acter for  a  man  like  you.  Take  your  own  course,  Don  Bernard ; 
continue  to  live  as  you  like.  Far  from  disturbing  your  peace,  I  de- 
clare myself  your  protector;  I  request  your  friendship,  and  pledge 
my  own."     "Ah!  sir,"  exclaimed  my  master,  thrilled  with  these 


134  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

kind  expressions,  "  I  accept,  witli  equal  joy  and  gratitude,  your  pre- 
cious offer.  In  giving  me  your  friendship,  you  augment  my  wealth, 
and  carry  my  happiness  to  its  height."  After  this  conversation, 
which  the  alguazil  and  myself  heard  from  the  closet-door,  the  cor- 
regidor  took  his  leave  of  Don  Bernard,  who  could  not  do  enough  to 
express  his  sense  of  the  obligation.  On  my  part,  mimicking  my 
master  in  doing  the  honors  of  the  house,  I  overburdened  the  algu- 
azil with  civilities.  I  made  him  a  thousand  low  bows,  though  I 
felt  for  him  in  my  sleeve  the  contempt  and  hatred  which  every 
honest  man  naturally  entertains  for  an  alguazil. 


CHAPTEE   II. 


THE  ASTONISHMENT   OF  GIL    BLAS  AT    MEETING  CAPTAIN    BOLANDO  IN 
MADRID,  AND  THAT  ROBBEE'S  CUBIOTTS  NABEATIVE. 

DON  Bernard  de  Castil  Blazo,  having  attended  the 
corregidor  to  the  street,  returned  in  a  hurry  to  fasten  his 
strong  box,  and  all  the  doors  which  secured  it.  We  then  went  out, 
both  of  us  well  satisfied ;  he  at  having  acquired  a  friend  in  power, 
and  myself  at  finding  my  six  rials  a  day  secured  to  me.  The  desire 
of  relating  this  adventure  to  Melendez  made  me  bend  my  steps 
towards  his  house ;  but,  near  my  journey's  end,  whom  should  I  meet 
but  Captain  Rolando  1  My  surprise  was  extreme,  and  I  could  not 
help  quaking  at  the  sight  of  him.  He  recollected  me  at  once, 
accosted  me  gravely,  and,  still  keeping  up  his  tone  of  superiority, 
ordered  me  to  follow  him.  I  tremblingly  obeyed,  saying  inwardly, 
"Alas !  he  means,  doubtless,  to  make  me  pay  my  debts !  Whither 
will  he  lead  roe?  There  may  perhaps  be  some  subterraneous  retreat 
in  this  city.  Rague  take  it  I  If  I  thought  so,  I  would  soon  show 
him  that  I  have  not  got  the  gout."  I  walked  therefore  behind 
him,  carefully  looking  out  where  he  might  stop,  with  the  pious  de- 
sign of  putting  my  best  leg  foremost,  if  there  was  anything  in  the 
shape  of  a  trap-door. 

Rolando  soon  dispersed  my  alarms.  He  went  into  a  well-fre- 
quented tavern ;  I  followed  him.  He  called  for  the  best  wine,  and 
ordered  dinner.  While  it  was  getting  ready,  we  went  into  a  private 
room,  where  the  captain  addressed  me  as  follows:  "You  may  well 
be  astonished,  Gil  Bias,  to  renew  your  acquaintance  with  your  old 
commander;  and  you  will  be  still  more  so  when  you  have  heard  my 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  185 

tale.  The  day  I  left  you  in  the  cave,  and  went  with  my  troop  to 
Mansilla,  for  the  purpose  of  selling  the  mules  and  horses  we  had 
taken  the  evening  before,  we  met  the  son  of  the  corregidor  of  Leon, 
attended  by  four  men  on  horseback,  well  armed,  following  his  car- 
riage. Two  of  his  people  we  made  to  bite  the  dust,  and  the  other 
two  ran  away.  On  this,  the  coachman,  alarmed  for  his  master,  cried 
out  to  us  in  a  tone  of  supplication,  *  Alas !  rny  dear  gentlemen,  in 
God's  name,  do  not  kill  the  only  son  of  his  worship,  the  corregidor 
of  Leon.'  These  words  were  far  from  softening  my  comrades ;  on 
the  contrary,  their  fury  knew  no  bounds.  '  Good  folks,'  said  one  of 
them,  *  let  not  the  son  of  a  mortal  enemy  to  men  like  us  escape  our 
vengeance.  How  many  ornaments  of  our  profession  has  his  father 
cut  off  in  their  prime!  Let  us  repay  his  cruelty  with  interest,  and 
sacrifice  this  victim  to  their  offended  ghosts.'  The  whole  troop  ap- 
plauded the  fineness  of  this  feeling,  and  my  lieutenant  himself  was 
preparing  to  act  as  high  priest  at  this  unhallowed  altar,  when  I  in- 
terdicted the  rites.  '  Stop !'  said  I ;  *  why  shed  blood  without  occa- 
sion ?  Let  us  rest  contented  with  the  youth's  purse.  As  he  makes 
no  resistance,  it  would  be  against  the  laws  of  war  to  cut  his  throat. 
Besides,  he  is  not  answerable  for  his  father's  misdeeds;  nay,  his 
father  only  does  his  duty  in  condemning  us  to  death,  as  we  do  ours 
in  rifling  travellers.' 

"  Thus  did  I  plead  for  the  corregidor's  son,  and  my  intercession 
was  not  unavailing.  We  only  took  every  farthing  of  his  money, 
and  carried  off  with  us  the  horses  of  the  two  men  whom  we  had 
slain.  These  we  sold  with  the  rest  at  Mansilla.  Thence  we  re- 
turned to  the  cavern,  where  we  arrived  the  following  morning,  a 
little  before  daybreak.  We  were  not  a  little  surprised  to  find  the 
trap  open,  and  still  more  so,  when  we  found  Leonarda  handcuffed  in 
the  kitchen.  She  unravelled  the  mystery  in  two  words.  We  won- 
dered how  you  could  have  overreached  us;  no  one  could  have 
thought  you  capable  of  serving  us  such  a  trick,  and  we  forgave  the 
efiect  for  the  merit  of  the  invention.  As  soon  as  we  had  released 
our  kitchen  wench,  I  gave  orders  for  a  good  luncheon.  In  the 
meantime  we  went  to  look  after  our  horses  in  the  stable,  where  the 
old  negro,  who  had  been  left  to  himself  for  four  and  twenty  hours, 
was  at  the  last  gasp.  We  did  all  we  could  for  his  relief,  but  he 
was  too  far  gone;  indeed,  so  much  reduced,  that,  in  spite  of  our 
endeavors,  we  left  the  poor  devil  on  the  threshold  of  another 
world.  It  was  very  sad;  but  it  did  not  spoil  our  appetites;  and, 
after  an  abundant  breakfast,  we  retired  to  our  chambers,  and 
slept  away  the  whole  day.  On  our  awaking,  Leonarda  apprised 
us  that  Domingo  had  paid  the  debt  of  nature.  We  carried  him  to 
the  charnel-house,  where  you  may  recollect  to  have  lodged,  and 


136  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

there  performed  his  obsequies,  just  as  if  he  had  been  one  of  our 
own  order. 

"  Five  or  six  days  afterwards,  it  fell  out  that,  one  morning  on  a 
sally,  we  encountered  three  companies  of  the  holy  brotherhood,  on 
the  outskirts  of  the  wood.  They  seemed  waiting  to  attack  us.  We 
perceived  but  one  troop  at  first.  These  we  despised,  though  supe- 
rior in  number  to  our  party,  and  rushed  forward  to  the  onset. 
But,  while  we  were  at  loggerheads  with  the  first,  the  two  others  in 
ambuscade  came  thundering  down  upon  us;  so  that  our  valor  was 
of  no  use.  There  was  no  withstanding  such  a  host  of  enemies.  Our 
lieutenant  and  two  of  our  gang  gave  up  the  ghost  on  this  occasion. 
As  for  the  two  others  and  myself,  we  were  so  closely  pressed  and 
hemmed  in,  as  to  be  taken  prisoners;  and,  while  two  detachments 
convoyed  us  to  Leon,  the  third  went  to  destroy  our  retreat.  How  it 
was  discovered,  I  will  briefly  tell  you.  A  peasant  of  Luceuo,  cross- 
ing the  forest,  on  his  way  home,  by  chance  espied  the  trap-door  of 
our  subterraneous  residence,  which  a  certain  young  runaway  had 
not  shut  down  after  him,  for  it  was  precisely  the  day  when  you  took 
yourself  off  with  the  lady.  He  had  a  violent  suspicion  of  its  being 
our  abode,  without  having  the  courage  to  go  in.  It  was  enough  to 
mark  the  adjacent  parts,  by  lightly  peeling,  with  his  knife,  bark 
from  the  nearest  trees,  and  so  on  from  distance  to  distance,  till  he 
was  quite  out  of  the  wood.  He  then  betook  himself  to  Leon,  with 
this  grand  discovery  for  the  corregidor,  who  was  so  much  the  better 
pleased,  as  his  son  had  been  robbed  by  our  gang.  This  magistrate 
collected  together  three  companies,  to  lay  hold  of  us,  and  the  peas- 
ant showed  them  the  way. 

"  My  arrival  in  the  town  of  Leon  was  as  good  as  that  of  a  wild 
beast  to  the  inhabitants.  Even  though  I  had  been  a  Portuguese 
general,  made  prisoner  of  war,  the  people  could  not  have  been  more 
anxious  to  see  me.  'There  he  goes  I'  was  the  cry:  '  that  is  he,  the 
famous  captain,  the  terror  of  these  partsj  It  would  serve  him  right 
to  tear  him,  piecemeal,  with  pincers,  and  make  his  comrades  join  in 
the  chorus.  To  the  corregidor  I'  was  the  universal  cry;  and  his 
worship  began  insulting  me.  '  So,  so  I'  said  he,  '  scoundrel  as  you 
are,  the  powers  of  justice,  worn  to  a  thread  with  your  past  irregular- 
ities, hand  over  the  task  of  punishment  to  me,  as  their  delegate.' 
'  Sir,'  answered  I,  '  great  as  my  crimes  may  have  been,  at  least,  the 
death  of  your  only  son  is  not  to  be  laid  at  my  door.  His  life  was 
saved  by  me ;  you  owe  me  some  acknowledgment  on  that  score.' 
*0h!  wretch,'  exclaimed  he,  'there  are  no  measures  to  be  kept  with 
people  of  your  description.  And,  though  it  were  my  wish  to  save 
you,  my  sacred  oflice  would  not  allow  me  to  indulge  my  feelings.' 
Having  spoken  to  this  eflect,  he  committed  ua  to  a  dungeon,  where 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  187 

my  companions  had  no  time  to  lament  their  hard  fate.  They  got 
out  of  confinement,  at  the  end  of  three  days,  to  expatiate,  with  tragic 
energy,  at  the  place  of  execution.  For  my  part,  I  took  up  my 
quarters  in  limbo,  for  three  complete  weeks.  My  punishment,  seem- 
ingly, was  deferred,  only  to  render  it  more  terrible;  and  I  was  look- 
ing out  for  some  refinement  on  the  ordinary  course  of  criminal  jus- 
tice, when  the  corregidor,  having  summoned  me  before  him,  said, 
'Give  ear  to  your  sentence.  You  are  free.  Hadit  not  been  for  you,  my 
only  son  would  have  been  assassinated  on  the  highway.  As  a 
father,  my  gratitude  was  due  for  this  service ;  but  not  being  compe- 
tent to  acquit  you  in  my  capacity  of  a  magistrate,  I  have  written  up 
to  court  in  your  favor;  have  solicited  your  pardon,  and  have 
obtained  it.  Go,  then,  whithersoever  it  may  seem  good  to  you.  But 
take  my  advice ;  profit  by  this  lucky  escape.  Look  to  your  paths, 
and  give  up  the  trade  of  a  highwayman  for  good  and  all.' 

"I  was  deeply  impressed  by  this  advice,  and  took  my  departure 
for  Madrid,  in  the  firm  determination  of  mending  my  ways,  and 
living  quietly  in  that  city.  There  I  found  my  father  and  mother 
dead,  and  what  they  left  behind  them  in  the  hands  of  an  old  kins- 
man, who  administered  duly  and  truly,  as  all  trustees  of  course  do. 
I  saved  three  thousand  ducats  out  of  the  fire — scarcely  a  quarter  of 
what  I  was  entitled  to.  But  where  was  the  remedy  ?  There  was  no 
standing  to  the  quirks  and  evasions  of  the  law.  Just  to  be  doing 
something,  I  have  purchased  an  alguazil's  place.  My  colleagues 
would  have  set  their  faces  against  my  admission,  for  the  honor  of 
the  cloth,  had  they  known  my  history.  Luckily  they  did  not,  or  at 
least  affected  not  to  know  it,  which  was  just  as  good  as  the  reality ; 
for,  in  that  illustrious  body,  it  is  the  bounden  duty  and  interest  of 
every  member  to  wear  a  mask.  The  pot  cannot  call  the  kettle  hard 
names,  thank  heaven.  The  devil  would  have  no  great  catch  in  the 
best  of  us.  And  yet,  my  friend,  I  could  willingly  unbosom  myself 
to  you  without  disguise.  My  present  occupation  is  much  against 
the  grain  ;  it  requires  too  circumspect  and  too  mysterious  a  conduct; 
there  is  nothing  to  be  done  but  by  underhand  dealings,  gravity,  and 
cunning.  O  1  for  my  first  trade  I  The  new  one  is  safer,  to  be  sure ; 
but  there  is  more  fun  in  the  other,  and  liberty  is  my  motto.  I  feel 
disposed  to  get  rid  of  my  oflSce,  and  to  set  out,  some  sunshiny  morn- 
ing, for  the  mountains  at  the  source  of  the  Tagus.  I  know  of  a 
retreat  thereabouts,  inhabited  by  a  numereus  gang,  composed  chiefly 
of  Catalonians;  when  I  have  said  that,  I  need  say  no  more.  If  you 
will  go  along  with  me,  we  will  swell  the  number  of  those  heroes.  I 
shall  be  second  in  command.  To  make  your  footing  respectable  at 
once,  I  will  swear  that  you  have  fought  ten  times  by  my  side.  Your 
valor  shall  mount  to  the  very  skies.    I  will  tell  more  good  of  you 


138  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

than  a  commander-in-chief  of  a  fovorite  officer.  I  will  not  say  a 
word  about  the  runaway  trick ;  that  would  render  you  suspected  of 
turning — nose  therefore,  mum  is  the  word.  What  say  you  to  it? 
Are  you  ready  to  set  off?    I  am  impatient  to  know  your  mind." 

"  Every  one  to  his  own  fancy,"  said  I,  then,  to  Rolando ;  "  you  were 
born  for  bold  exploits,  and  your  friend  for  a  serene  and  quiet  life." 
"  I  understand  you,"  interrupted  he  ;  "  the  lady  whom  love  induced 
you  to  carry  off,  still  preserves  her  influence  over  your  heart,  and 
you  doubtless  lead  with  her  that  serene  life  of  which  you  are  enam- 
ored. Own  the  truth.  Master  Gil  Bias ;  she  is  become  a  thing  of 
your  own,  and  you  are  both  living  on  the  pistoles  carried  off  from 
the  subterraneous  retreat."  I  told  him  he  was  mistaken  ;  and,  to 
set  him  right,  related  the  lady's  adventures  and  my  own,  while  we 
sat  at  dinner.  When  our  meal  was  finished,  he  led  back  to  the  sub- 
ject of  the  Catalonians,  and  attempted  once  more  to  engage  me  in 
his  project.  But  finding  me  inflexible,  he  looked  at  me  with  a  ter- 
rific frown,  and  said  seriously,  "Since  you  are  dastard  enough  to 
prefer  your  servile  condition  to  the  honor  of  enlisting  in  a  troop  of 
brave  fellows,  I  turn  you  adrift  to  your  own  grovelling  inclinations. 
But  mark  me  well ;  a  lapse  maybe  fatal.  Forget  our  meeting  of  to- 
day, and  never  prate  about  me  to  any  living  soul ;  for  if  I  catch  you 
bandying  about  my  name  in  your  idle  talk  ....  you  know  my 
ways,  I  need  say  no  more."  With  these  words,  he  called  for  the 
landlord,  paid  the  reckoning,  and  we  rose  from  the  table  to  go  away. 


CHAPTER    III. 

GIL  BLAS  IS  DISMISSED  BY  DON  BERNARD  DE  CASTIL  BLAZO,   AND 
ENTERS  INTO  THE  SERVICE  OF  A  BEAU. 

JUST  as  we  were  coming  out  of  the  tavern,  and  taking  our  leave, 
my  master  was  passing  along  the  street.  He  saw  me,  and  I 
observed  him  look  more  than  once  at  the  captain.  I  had  no  doubt 
but  he  was  surprised  at  meeting  me  in  such  company.  It  is  certain 
that  Rolando's  physiognomy  and  air  were  not  much  in  favor  of 
moral  qualities.  He  was  a  gigantic  fellow,  with  a  long  face,  a 
parrot's  beak,  and  a  very  rascally  contour,  without  being  absolutely 
ugly. 

I  was  not  mistaken  in  my  guess.    In  the  evening,  I  found  Don 
Bernard  harping  on  the  captain's  figure,  and  charmingly  disposed  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  139 

believe  all  the  fine  things  I  could  have  said  of  him,  if  my  tongue 
had  not  been  tied.  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  '"  who  is  that  great  shark  I 
saw  with  you  awhile  ago?"  I  told  him  it  was  an  alguazil,  and 
thought  to  have  got  off  with  that  answer ;  but  he  returned  to  the 
charge ;  and  observing  my  confusion,  from  the  remembrance  of  the 
threats  used  by  Rolando,  broke  off  the  conversation  abruptly  and 
went  to  bed.  The  next  morning,  when  I  had  performed  my  ordi- 
nary duties,  he  counted  me  over  six  ducats  instead  of  six  rials,  and 
said,  "  Here,  my  friend,  that  is  what  I  give  you  for  your  services  up 
to  this  day.  Go  and  look  out  for  another  place.  A  servant  keeping 
such  high  company  is  too  much  for  me."  I  bethought  myself  of 
saying,  in  my  own  defence,  that  I  had  known  that  alguazil,  by  hav- 
ing prescribed  for  him  at  Valladolid,  while  I  was  practicing  medi- 
cine. "  Very  good,"  replied  my  master ;  "  the  shift  is  ingenious 
enough ;  you  might  have  thought  of  it  last  night,  and  not  have 
looked  so  foolish."  "Sir,"  rejoined  I,  "in  good  truth,  prudence 
kept  me  silent,  and  gave  to  my  reserve  the  aspect  of  guilt."  "  Un- 
doubtedly," resumed  he,  tapping  me  softly  on  the  shoulder,  "  it  was 
carrying  prudence  very  far,  even  to  the  confines  of  cunning.  Go, 
lad ;  I  have  no  further  occasion  for  your  services." 

I  went  immediately  to  acquaint  Melendez  with  the  bad  news,  who 
told  me,  for  my  comfort,  that  he  would  engage  to  procure  me  a  bet- 
ter berth.  Indeed,  some  days  after,  he  said,  "  Gil  Bias,  my  friend, 
you  have  no  notion  of  the  good  luck  in  store  for  you.  You  will 
have  the  most  agreeable  post  in  the  world.  I  am  going  to  settle 
you  with  Don  Matthias  de  Silva.  He  is  a  man  of  the  first  fashion — 
one  of  those  young  noblemen  commonly  distinguished  by  the  ap- 
pellation of  beaus.  I  have  the  honor  of  his  custom.  He  takes  up 
goods  of  me,  on  tick,  indeed  ;  but  these  great  men  are  good  pay  in 
the  long  run :  they  often  marry  rich  heiresses,  and  then  old  scores 
are  wiped  off;  or,  should  that  fail,  a  tradesman  who  understands  his 
business,  puts  such  a  price  upon  his  articles,  that  if  three  fourths  of 
his  debts  are  bad,  he  is  no  loser.  Don  Matthias's  steward  is  my 
intimate  friend.  Let  us  go  and  look  for  him.  It  will  be  for  him 
to  present  you  to  his  master ;  and  you  may  rely  upon  it,  that,  for 
my  sake,  he  will  treat  you  with  high  consideration." 

As  we  were  on  our  way  to  Don  Matthias's  house,  this  honest 
shopkeeper  said,  "  It  is  fit,  methinks,  that  you  should  be  let  into 
the  steward's  character.  His  name  is  Gregorio  Rodriguez.  Between 
ourselves,  he  is  a  man  of  low  birth,  with  a  talent  for  intrigue,  in 
which  vocation  he  has  labored,  till  a  stewardship  in  two  distressed 
families  completed  their  ruin  and  made  his  fortune.  I  give  you 
notice,  that  his  vanity  is  excessive;  he  loves  to  see  the  under-ser- 
vants  creeping  and  crawling  at  his  feet.    It  is  with  him  they  must 


no  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

make  interest,  if  they  have  any  favor  to  beg  of  their  master;  fof, 
should  they  happen  to  obtain  it  without  his  interference,  he  has 
always  some  shift  or  other  at  hand  to  get  the  boon  revoked,  or,  at 
least,  render  it  of  no  avail.  Regulate  your  conduct  on  this  hint, 
Gil  Bias ;  pay  court  to  Signor  Rodriguez  in  preference  to  your  mas- 
ter himself,  and  leave  no  stone  unturned  to  get  into  his  good  graces. 
His  friendship  will  be  of  material  service  to  you.  He  will  pay 
your  wages  to  the  day ;  and,  if  you  have  management  enough  to 
worm  yourself  into  his  confidence,  you  may  chance  to  pick  up  some 
of  the  fragments  which  fall  from  his  table  There  are  enough  for  a 
hungrier  dog  than  you  !  Don  Matthias  is  a  young  nobleman,  with 
no  thought  to  throw  away  but  on  his  pleasures,  nor  the  slightest 
suspicion  how  his  own  affairs  are  going  on.  What  a  house  for  a 
steward  who  knows  how  to  be  a  steward  I" 

When  we  got  to  our  journey's  end,  we  asked  to  speak  with  Signor 
Rodriguez.  We  were  told  that  we  should  find  him  in  his  own 
apartment.  There  he  was,  sure  enough,  and  with  him  a  clownish 
sort  of  fellow,  holding  a  blue  bag,  full  of  money.  The  steward, 
looking  more  wan  and  yellow  than  a  girl  in  a  hurry  for  a  husband, 
ran  up  to  Melendez  with  open  arms ;  the  draper  was  not  behind- 
hand with  him,  and  they  each  hugged  the  other,  with  a  show  of 
friendship,  at  least,  as  much  indebted  to  art  as  to  nature  for  its 
plausible  effect.  After  this,  the  next  question  was  about  me. 
Rodriguez  examined  me  from  top  to  toe,  saying  very  civilly,  at  the 
same  time,  that  I  was  just  such  an  one  as  Don  Matthias  wanted, 
and  that  he  would  with  pleasure  take  upon  himself  to  present  me  to 
that  nobleman.  Thereupon  Melendez  gave  him  to  understand  how 
deeply  he  was  interested  in  my  behalf.  He  begged  the  steward  to 
take  me  under  his  protection ;  and,  leiaving  me  with  him,  after 
plenty  of  compliments,  withdrew,  As  soon  as  he  was  gone  out, 
Rodriguez  said,  "  I  will  introduce  you  to  my  master  the  moment  I 
have  despatched  this  honest  husbandman."  He  called  the  country- 
man to  him  forthwith,  and,  taking  his  bag,  "  Talego,"  said  he,  "  let 
us  see  if  the  five  hundred  pistoles  are  all  right."  He  counted  over 
the  money  himself.  As  the  sum  was  found  to  be  exact,  the  country- 
man took  a  receipt,  and  went  away.  The  cash  was  put  back  again 
into  the  bag.  It  was  my  turn  next  to  be  attended  to.  "  We  may 
now,"  said  my  new  patron,  "  go  to  my  master's  levee.  He  usually 
gets  up  about  noon ;  it  is  now  near  one  o'clock,  and  must  be  day- 
light in  his  apartment." 

Don  Matthias  had,  indeed,  just  risen.  He  was  still  in  his  morn- 
ing-gown, kicking  his  heels  in  a  great  chair,  with  a  leg  tossed  over 
one  of  the  elbows,  swinging  backward  and  forward,  and  manufac- 
turing his  own  snuff.    His  conversation  was  addressed  to  a  footman 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  141 

in  waiting,  who  officiated  as  a  temporary  valet  de  cliambre.  "My 
lord,"  said  the  steward,  "  here  is  a  young  man  whom  I  take  the 
liberty  of  presenting  to  your  lordship,  in  the  place  of  him  you  dis- 
charged the  day  before  yesterday.  Your  draper,  Melendez,  has 
given  him  a  character ;  he  undertakes  for  his  qualifications,  and  I 
believe  you  will  be  very  well  pleased  with  him."  "That  is  enough," 
answered  the  young  nobleman,  "  since  he  has  your  recommendation. 
I  adopt  him  blindfold  into  my  own  retinue.  He  is  my  valet  de 
chambre  at  once ;  that  business  is  settled.  Let.  us  talk  of  other 
matters,  Rodriguez.  You  are  come  just  in  time,  I  was  going  to 
send  for  you.  I  have  a  budget  of  bad  news,  my  dear  Rodriguez  I 
played  with  ill  luck  last  night :  an  hundred  pistoles  in  my  pocket 
lost,  and  two  hundred  more  on  credit.  You  know  how  indispensable 
it  is  for  persons  of  high  rank  to  pay  their  debts  of  honor.  As  for 
any  other,  it  is  no  matter  when  they  are  paid.  Punctuality  is  all 
very  well  between  one  tradesman  and  another,  but  they  cannot  ex- 
pect it  from  one  of  us.  These  two  hundred  pistoles  must  be  raised 
forthwith,  and  sent  to  the  Countess  de  Pedrosa."  "  Sir,"  quoth  the 
steward,  "  that  is  sooner  said  than  done.  Where,  prythee,  am  I 
to  get  such  a  sum  ?  Threaten  as  I  will,  I  never  touch  a  maravedi 
from  your  tenants.  And  yet  your  establishment  is  to  be  kept  up  in 
style,  and  I  am  wearing  myself  to  a  thread  in  furnishing  the  ways 
and  means.  It  is  true  that  hitherto,  Heaven  be  praised  1  we  have 
rubbed  on ;  but  what  witch  to  conjure  for  a  wind  now,  I  know  not ; 
the  case  is  desperate."  "  All  this  prosing  is  extremely  impertinent," 
interrupted  Don  Matthias ;  "  this  counting-house  talk  makes  me 
hideously  nervous.  So,  then,  Rodriguez,  you  really  think  to  under- 
take my  reform,  and  metamorphose  me  into  a  plodding  manager  of 
my  own  estate  ?  A  very  elegant  sort  of  pastime  for  a  man  in  my 
station  of  life — a  man  of  rank  and  fashion !"  "  Grant  me  patience," 
replied  the  steward  ;  "  at  the  rate  we  are  driving  now,  it  ia  easily  cal- 
culated how  soon  you  will  be  released  from  all  those  cares;"  "  You 
are  a  very  great  bore,"  resumed  the  young  nobleman,  rather  peev- 
ishly; "  this  brutal  importunity  is  downright  murder  to  one's  feelings. 
I  hate  loud  music  ;  be  so  good  as  to  let  me  be  ruined  pianissimo.  I 
tell  you  I  want  two  hundred  pistoles,  and  I  must  have  them." 
"  Why,  then,"  said  Rodriguez,  "  we  must  have  recourse  to  the  old 
rascal  who  has  lent  you  so  much  already  on  usurious  terms." 
"  Have  recourse  to  the  devil,  if  he  will  do  you  any  good,"  answered 
Don  Matthias;  "only  let  me  havC  two  hundred  pistoles,  and  it  is 
the  same  thing  to  me  how  you  manage  to  get  them." 

While  he  was  uttering  these  words  in  a  hasty  and  fretful  tone,  the 
steward  went  out,  and  Don  Antonio  Centelles,  a  young  man  of  qua- 
lity, came  in.    "  What  is  the  matter,  my  friend  ?"  said  this  last  to 


142  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  Bt.AS. 

my  master;  "your  atmosphere  is  overcast;  I  trace  passion  in  the 
lines  of  your  countenance.  Who  can  have  ruffled  that  sweet  tem- 
per ?  I  would  lay  a  wager  it  was  that  booby  just  gone  out."  ''  Yes," 
answered  Don  Matthias,  ''he  is  my  steward.  Every  time  he  comes 
to  speak  to  me  I  am  in  agony  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  or  twenty 
minutes.  He  rings  the  changes  on  the  state  of  my  affairs,  and  tells 
me  that  I  am  spending  principal  and  interest.  ...  A  beast !  He 
will  say  next  that  I  have  ruined  him  into  the  bargain  I"  "  My  dear 
fellow  I"  replied  Don  Antonio,  "  I  am  exactly  in  the  same  situation. 
My  man  of  business  is  just  such  another  scarecrow  as  ycur  steward. 
When  the  sneaking  scoundrel,  after  repeated  demands,  brings  me 
some  niggardly  supply,  it  is  just  as  if  he  was  lending  me  his  own. 
He  expostulates  most  barbarously.  '  Sir,'  says  he,  '  you  are  going 
to  rack  and  ruin ;  there  is  an  execution  out  against  you.'  I  am 
obliged  to  cut  him  short,  and  beg  him  to  remonstrate  in  epitome." 
"  The  worst  of  it  is,"  said  Don  Matthias,  "  that  there  is  no  doing 
without  these  fellows ;  they  are  the  penance  attached  to  our  elegant 
indiscretions."  "Just  so,"  replied  Centelles.  .  .  .  "But  listen," 
pursued  he,  bursting  into  a  fit  of  laughter  ;  "a  pleasant  idea  has  just 
struck  me.  Nothing  was  ever  more  farcically  fancied.  We  may 
introduce  a  hvffo  caricato  into  our  serious  opera,  and  relieve  the 
knell  of  our  departed  goods  and  chattels  with  a  humorous  divertise- 
ment.  The  plot  is  thus :  Let  me  try  to  borrow  from  your  steward 
whatever  you  want.  You  shall  do  the  same  with  my  man  of  busi- 
ness. Then  let  them  both  preach  as  they  please :  we  shall  hearken 
with  the  utmost  composure.  Your  steward  will  come  and  open  his 
case  to  me;  my  man  of  business  will  plead  the  poverty  of  the  land 
to  you.  I  shall  hear  of  nothing  but  your  extravagance,  and  you 
will  see  your  own  in  mine  as  in  a,  glass.  It  will  be  vastly  enter- 
taining." 

A  thousand  brilliant  conceits  followed  this  flight  of  genius,  and 
'put  the  young  patricians  into  high  spirits,  so  that  they  kept  up  the 
ball  with  vivacity,  if  not  with  wit.  Their  conversation  was  interrupted 
by  Gregorio  Eodriguez,  who  brought  back  with  him  a  little  old  bald- 
headed  man.  Don  Antonio  was  for  moving  off.  "  Farewell,  Don  Mat- 
thias," said  he ;  "  we  shall  meet  again  anon.  I  leave  you  with  these 
gentlemen ;  you  have,  doubtless,  some  state  affairs  to  discuss  in  coun- 
cil." "  Oh,  no,  no,"  answered  my  master,  "  you  had  better  stop ;  you 
will  not  interrupt  us.  This  warm  old  gentleman  has  the  moderation 
to  lend  me  money  at  twenty  per  Cent."  "  What,  at  twenty  per  cent. !" 
exclaimed  Centelles,  in  a  tone  of  astonishment.  "  In  good  truth,  I 
wish  you  joy  on  being  in  such  hands.  I  do  not  come  off  so  cheaply, 
for  my  part:  I  pay  through  the  nose  for  every  farthing  I  get.  My 
loans  are  generally  raised  at  double  that  per  cent."    "There  is 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  143 

usury,"  said  the  father  of  the  usurious  tribes;  "unconscionable 
dogs !  Where  do  they  expect  to  go  when  they  die  ?  I  do  not  wonder 
there  is  so  strong  a  prejudice  against  money-lenders.  It  is  the  ex- 
orbitant profit  which  some  of  them  derive  from  their  discounts, 
that  brings  reproach  and  ill-will  upon  us  all.  If  all  my  brethren  of 
the  blue  balls  were  like  me,  we  should  not  be  treated  so  scurvily  ; 
for  my  part,  I  only  lend,  to  do  my  duty  towards  my  neighbor.  Ah  I 
if  times  were  as  good  now  as  in  my  early  days,  my  purse  should  be 
at  your  service  as  a  friend ;  and  even  now,  in  the  present  distress  of 
the  money-market,  it  goes  against  the  grain  to  take  a  poor  twenty 
per  cent.  But  one  would  thiilk  the  money  was  all  gone  back  to  the 
mines  whence  it  came :  there  is  no  such  thing  to  be  had,  and  the 
scarcity  compels  me  to  depart  a  little  from  the  disinterested  severity 
of  my  benevolence.  How  much  do  you  want?"  pursued  he,  address- 
ing my  master.  "  Two  hundred  pistoles,"  answered  Don  Matthias. 
"I  have  four  hundred  here  in  a  bag,"  replied  the  usurer;  "it  is  only 
to  give  you  half  of  them."  At  the  same  time  he  drew  from  under- 
neath hia  cloak  a  blue  bag,  looking  just  like  that  in  which  farmer 
Talego  had  left  five  hundred  pistoles  with  Eodriguez.  I  was  not 
long  in  forming  my  judgment  of  the  matter,  and  saw  plainly  that 
Melendez  had  not  bragged,  without  reason,,  of  the  steward's  aptness 
in  the  ways  of  the  world.  The  old  man  emptied  the  bag,  displayed 
the  cash  on  a  table,  and  set  about  counting  it.  The  sight  set  all  my 
master's  extravagant  passions  in  a  flame;  the  sura  total  proved  very 
striking  to  his  comprehension.  "  Signor  Descomulgado,"  said  he  to 
the  usurer,  "  I  have  just  made  a  very  sensible  reflection ;  I  am  a 
great  fool.  I  only  borrow  enough  to  redeem  my  credit,  without 
thinking  of  my  empty  pockets.  I  should  be  obliged  to  give  you  the 
trouble  of  coming  again  to-morrow.  I  think,  therefore,  it  will  be 
best  to  spare  your  age  and  infirmities,  and  ease  you  of  the  four  hun- 
dred at  once."  "  My  lord,"  answered  the  old  man,  "  I  had  destined 
half  of  this  money  to  a  good  licentiate,  who  lays  out  the  income  of 
his  large  preferments  in  those  pious  and  charitable  uses  for  which 
they  were  originally  given  to  the  clergy,  as  stewards  of  the  poor, 
and  guides  to  the  young  and  unwary.  In  pursuance  of  this  end,  it 
is  his  great  delight  to  wean  young  girls  from  the  seductions  of  a 
wicked  world,  and  place  them  in  a  snug,  well-furnished  little  box  of 
his  own,  where  they  may  be  obnoxious  to  his  ghostly  admonitions 
by  day  and  by  night.  But,  since  you  have  occasion  for  the  whole 
sum,  it  is  at  your  disposal.  Something  by  way  of  security."  .  .  . 
"  Oh  1  as  for  security,"  interrupted  Rodriguez,  taking  a  paper  out  of 
his  pocket,  "  you  shall  have  as  good  as  the  bank.  Here  is  a  note 
which  Signor  Don  Matthias  has  only  just  to  sign.  He  makes  over 
five  hundred  pistoles,  due  from  one  of  his  tenants,  Talego,  a  wealthy 


144  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

yeoman  of  Mondejar."  "  That  is  enough,"  replied  the  usurer,  "  I 
never  split  hairs,  but  deal  upon  the  square,"  The  steward  insinu- 
ated a  pen  between  his  master's  fingers,  who  signed  his  name  at  the 
bottom  of  the  note,  without  reading  it ;  and  whistled  as  he  signed, 
for  want  of  thought. 

That  business  settled,  the  old  man  took  his  leave  of  my  noble  em- 
ployer, who  shook  him  cordially  by  the  hand,  saying:  "  Till  I  have 
the  pleasure  of  seeing  you  again,  good  mjister  pounds,  shillings,  and 
pence,  I  am  your  most  devoted,  humble  servant,  I  do  not  know 
why  you  should  all  be  lumped  together  for  a«et  of  blood-suckers; 
you  seem  to  me  a  necessary  link  in  the  chain  of  well-ordered  society. 
You  are  as  good  as  a  physician  to  us  pecuniary  invalids  of  quality^ 
and  keep  us  alive  by  artificial  restoratives  in  the  last  stage  of  a  con- 
sumptive purse."  "  You  are  in  the  right,"  exclaimed  Centelles. 
"  Usurers  are  a  very  gentlemanly  order  in  society,  and  I  must  not 
be  denied  the  privilege  of  paying  my  compliments  to  this  illustrious 
Bpecimen,  for  the  sake  of  his  twenty  per  cent."  With  this  banter, 
he  came  up  and  threw  his  arms  about  the  old  man's  neck:  and 
these  two  overgrown  children,  for  their  amusement,  began  sending 
him  backward  and  forward  between  them  like  a  shuttlecock.  After 
they  had  tossed  him  about  from  pillar  to  post^  they  suffered  him  to 
depart  with  the  steward,  who  ought  to  have  come  in  for  his  share  of 
the  game,  and  for  something  a  little  more  serious. 

When  ^Rodriguez  and  his  stalking-horse  had  left  the  room,  Don 
Matthias  sent,  by  the  lackey  in  waiting,  half  his  pistoles  to  the 
Countess  de  Pedrosa,  and  deposited  the  other  half  in  a  long  purse 
worked  with  gold  and  silk,  which  he  usually  wore  in  his  pocket. 
Very  well  pleased  to  find  himself  in  cash,  he  said  to  Don  Antonio, 
with  an  air  of  gayety:  "  What  shall  we  do  with  ourselves  to-day? 
Let  us  call  a  council,"  "  That  is  talking  like  a  statesman,"  answered 
Centelles :  "  I  am  your  man ;  let  us  ponder  gravely."  While  they 
were  collecting  their  deliberative  wisdom  on  the  course  they  were  to 
pursue  for  the  day,  two  other  noblemen  came  in  :  Don  Alexo  Segiar 
and  Don  Ferdinand  de  Gamboa ;  both  nearly  about  my  master's 
age,  that  is,  from  eight  and  twenty  to  thirty.  These  four  jolly 
blades  began  with  such  hearty  salutations,  as  if  they  had  not  met 
for  these  ten  years.  After  that,  Don  Ferdinand,  a  professed  baccha- 
nalian, made  his  proposals  to  Don  Matthias  and  Don  Antonio: 
"  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  "  where  do  you  dine  to-day  ?  If  you  are  not 
engaged,  I  will  take  you  to  a  tavern  where  you  shall  quaff  celestial 
liquor  I  supped  there  last  night,  and  did  not  come  away  till 
between  five  and  six  this  morning,''  "  Would  to  Heaven,"  ex- 
claimed my  master,  "  I  had  done  the  same  1  I  should  not  have  lost 
my  money," 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  ~  146 

"For  my  part,"  said  Centelles,  "I  treated  myself  yesterday  even- 
ing with  a  new  amusement,  for  variety  has  always  its  charms  for 
me.  Nothing  but  a  change  of  pleasure  can  make  the  dull  round  of 
human  life  supportable.  One  of  my  friends  introduced  me,  neck 
and  heels,  to  one  of  those  gentry  yclept  tax-gatherers,  who  do  the 
government  business  and  their  own  at  the  same  time.  There  was  no 
want  of  magnificence,  good  taste,  or  a  well-designed  set  out  table, 
but  I  found,  in  the  family  itself,  a  highly  seasoned  relish  of  absurdity. 
The  farmer  of  the  revenues,  though  the  most  meanly  extracted  of 
the  whole  party,  must  set  up  for  a  great  man  ;  and  his  wife,  though 
hideously  ugly,  was  a  goddess  in  her  own  estimation,  and  made  a 
thousand  silly  speeches,  the  zest  of  which  was  heightened  by  a  Bis- 
cayan  accent.  Add  to  this,  that  there  were  four  or  five  children 
with  their  tutor  at  table.  Judge  if  it  must  not  have  been  an  amus- 
ing family  party." 

"As  for  me,  gentlemen,"  said  Don  Alexo  Segiar,  *'  I  supped  with 
Arsenia  the  actress.  We  were  six  at  table ;  Arsenia,  Florimonde,  a 
coquette  of  her  acquaintance,  the  Marquis  de  Zenette,  Don  Juan  de 
Moncade,  and  your  humble  servant.  We  passed  the  night  in  drink- 
ing and  talking  bawdy.  What  a  flow  of  soul  I  To  be  sure,  Arsenia 
and  Florimonde  are  not  strong  in  their  upper  works ;  but  then  they 
have  a  facility  in  their  vocation  which  is  more  than  all  the  wit  in 
the  world.  They  are  the  dearest  madcaps,  gay,  romping,  and  ram- 
pant: they  are  a  hundred  times  better  than  your  modest  women  of 
sense  and  discretion." 


CHAPTER  IV. 


GIL  BLAS  GETS  INTO  COMPANY  WITH  HIS  FELLOWS;  THEY  SHOW  HIM 
A  EEADY  KOAD  TO  THE  REPUTATION  OF  WIT,  AND  IMPOSE  ON  HIM 
A  SINGULAR   OATH. 

THOSE  noblemen  pursued  this  strain  of  conversation,  till  Don 
Matthias,  about  whose  person  I  was  fiddling  all  the  while,  was 
ready  to  go  out.  He  then  told  me  to  follow  him  ;  and  this  bevy  of 
fashionables  set  sail  together  for  the  tavern,  whither  Don  Ferdinand 
de  Gamboa  proposed  to  conduct  them.  I  began  my  march  in  the 
rear  rank  with  three  other  valets ;  for  each  of  the  gentlemen  had 
his  own.  I  remarked,  with  astonishment,  that  these  three  servants 
copied  their  masters,  and  assumed  the  same  follies.  I  introduced 
myself  as  a  new  comer.  They  returned  my  salute  in  form  ;  and  one 
10 


146  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  them,  after  having  taken  measure  of  me  very  accurately,  said : 
"  Brother,  I  perceive  by  your  gait  that  you  have  never  yet  lived  with 
a  young  nobleman."  "Alas  !  no,"  answered  I,  "  neither  have  I  been 
long  in  Madrid."  "So  it  appears,"  replied  he,  "you smell  strong  of 
the  country.  You  seem  timid  and  embarrassed  ;  there  is  a  hitch  in 
your  deportment.  But  no  matter,  we  will  soon  wear  oflF  all  stiflFness, 
take  my  word  for  it."  "  Perhaps  you  think  better  of  me  than  1 
deserve,"  said  I.  "  No,"  resumed  he,  "  no ;  there  is  no  such  cub  as 
we  cannot  lick  into  shape ;  assure  yourself  of  that." 

This  specimen  was  enough  to  convince  me  that  I  had  hearty  fel- 
lows for  my  comrades,  and  that  I  could  not  be  in  better  hands  to 
initiate  me  into  high  life  below  stairs.  On  our  arrival  at  the  tavern, 
we  found  an  entertainment  ready,  which  Signor  Don  Ferdinand  had 
been  so  provident  as  to  order  in  the  morning.  Our  masters  sat  down 
to  table,  and  we  arranged  ourselves  behind  their  chairs.  The  con- 
versation was  spirited  and  lively.  My  ears  tingled  to  hear  them. 
Their  humor,  their  way  of  thinking,  their  mode  of  expression  di- 
verted me.  What  fire !  what  sallies  of  imagination  1  They  appeared 
like  a  new  order  of  beings.  With  the  dessert,  we  sat  before  them  a 
great  choice  of  the  best  wines  in  Spain,  and  left  the  room,  to  go  to 
dinner  in  a  little  parlor,  where  our  cloth  was  laid. 

I  was  not  long  in  discovering  that  the  combatants  in  our  lists  had 
more  to  recommend  them  than  appeared  at  first  sight.  They  were 
not  satisfied  with  aping  the  manners  of  their  masters,  but  even 
copied  their  phrases ;  and  these  varlets  gave  such  a  fac-simile,  that, 
bating  a  little  vulgarity,  they  might  have  passed  themselves  off  very 
well.  I  admired  their  free-and-easy  carriage;  still  more  was  I 
charmed  with  their  wit,  but  despaired  of  ever  coming  up  to  them  in 
my  own  person.  Don  Ferdinand's  servant,  on  the  score  of  his  mas- 
ter treating  ours,  did  the  honors ;  and,  determined  to  do  the  thing 
genteelly,  he  called  the  landlord,  and  said  to  him:  "Master  tapster, 
give  us  ten  bottles  of  your  very  best  wine ;  and  as  you  have  a  happy 
knack  of  doing,  make  the  gentlemen  up  stairs  believe  that  they 
have  drank  them."  "With  all  my  heart,"  answered  the  landlord  ; 
"  but,  Master  Gaspard,  you  know  that  Signor  Don  Ferdinand  owes 
me  for  a  good  many  dinners  already.  If  through  your  kind  inter- 
vention I  could  get  some  little  matter  on  account."  .  .  .  "Ohl" 
interrupted  the  valet,  "  do  not  be  at  all  uneasy  about  your  debt :  I 
will  take  it  upon  myself ;  put  it  down  to  me.  It  is  true,  that  some 
unmannerly  creditors  have  preferred  legal  measures  to  a  reliance  on 
our  honor ;  but  we  shall  take  the  first  opportunity  of  obtaining  a 
replevy,  and  will  pay  you  without  looking  at  your  bill.  To  have  my 
master  on  your  books  is  like  so  many  ingots  of  gold."  The  land- 
lord brought  us  the  wine,  in  spite  ot  unmannerly  creditors ;  and  we 


A-DVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  147 

drank  to  a  speedy  replevy.  It  was  as  good  as  a  comedy  to  see  us 
drinking  each  other's  healths  every  minute,  under  our  masters'  titles. 
Don  Antonio's  servant  called  Don  Ferdinand's  plain  Gamboa,  and 
Don  Ferdinand's  servant  called  Don  Antonio's  Centelles :  they  dub- 
bed me  Silva ;  and  we  kept  pace  in  drunkenness,  under  these  bor- 
rowed names,  with  the  noblemen  to  whom  they  properly  belonged. 

Though  my  wit  was  less  conspicuous  than  that  of  the  other  guests, 
they  lost  no  opportunity  of  testifying  their  pleasure  in  my  acquaint- 
ance. "  Silva,"  said  one  of  our  merriest  soakers,  "  we  shall  make 
something  of  you,  my  friend.  I  perceive  that  you  have  wit  at  will, 
if  you  did  but  know  how  to  draw  upon  it.  The  fear  of  talking 
absurdly  prevents  you  from  throwing  out  at  all ;  and  yet  it  is  only 
by  a  bold  push  that  a  thousand  people  nowadays  set  themselves  up 
for  good  companions.  Do  you  wish  to  be  bright  ?  You  have  only 
to  give  the  reins  to  your  loquacity,  and  to  venture  indiscriminately 
on  whatever  comes  uppermost :  your  blunders  will  pass  for  the 
eccentricities  of  genius.  Though  you  should  utter  a  hundred  extra- 
vagances, let  but  a  single  good  joke  be  packed  up  in  the  bundle,  the 
nonsense  shall  all  be  forgotten,  the  witticism  bandied  about,  and 
your  talent  be  puffed  into  high  repute.  This  is  the  happy  method  our 
masters  have  devised,  and  it  ought  to  be  adopted  by  all  new  candi- 
dates." Besides  that  I  had  but  too  strong  a  wish  to  pass  for  a  clever 
fellow,  the  trick  they  taught  me  appeared  so  easy  in  the  perform- 
ance, that  it  ought  not  to  be  buried  in  obscurity.  I  tried  it  at  once, 
and  the  fumes  of  the  wine  contributed  to  my  success ;  that  is  to  say, 
I  talked  at  random,  and  had  the  good  luck  to  strike  out  of  much 
absurdity  some  flashes  of  merriment  very  acceptable  to  my  audience. 
This  first  essay  inspired  me  with  confidence.  I  redoubled  my 
sprightliness,  to  sparkle  in  repartee ;  and  chance  gave  a  successful 
issue  to  my  endeavors. 

"  Well  done !"  said  my  fellow-servant  who  had  addressed  me  on 
the  street;  '*do  not  you  begin  to  shake  off"  your  rustic  manners? 
You  have  not  been  two  hours  in  our  company,  and  you  are  quite 
another  creature :  your  improvement  will  be  visible  every  day.  This 
it  is  to  wait  on  people  of  quality.  It  causes  an  elevation  which  the 
mind  can  never  attain  under  a  plebeian  roof."  "  Doubtless,"  I 
answered,  "  and  for  that  reason  I  shall  henceforth  dedicate  my  little 
talents  to  the  nobility."  "  That  is  bravely  said,"  roared  out  Don 
Ferdinand's  servant,  half  seas  over ;  "  commoners  are  not  entitled 
to  possess  such  a  fund  of  superior  genius  as  exists  in  us.  Come, 
gentlemen,  let  us  make  a  vow  never  to  colleague  with  any  such  beg- 
garly fellows ;  let  us  swear  to  that  by  Styx."  We  laughed  heartily 
at  Gaspard's  conceit ;  the  proposal  was  received  with  applause,  and 
we  took  this  mock  oath  with  our  glasses  in  our  hands. 


148  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Thus  sat  we  at  .table  till  our  masters  were  pleased  m  get  up  from 
it.  This  was  at  midnight — an  outrageous  instance  of  sobriety,  in  the 
opinion  of  my  colleagues.  To  be  sure,  these  noble  lords  left  the 
tavern  so  early  only  to  visit  a  celebrated  wanton,  lodging  in  the 
purlieus  of  the  court,  and  keeping  open  house  night  and  day  for  the 
votaries  of  pleasure.  She  was  a  woman  from  five-and-thirty  to 
forty,  still  in  the  height  of  her  charms,  entertaining  in  her  dis- 
course, and  so  perfect  a  mistress  in  the  art  of  pleasure,  that  she  sold 
the  waste  and  refuse  of  her  beauty  at  a  higher  price  than  the  first 
sample  of  the  unadulterated  article.  She  had  always  two  or  three 
pieces  of  damaged  goods  in  the  house,  who  contributed  not  a  little 
to  the  great  concourse  of  nobility  resorting  thi'ther.  The  afternoon 
was  spent  in  play ;  then  supper,  and  the  night  passed  in  drink- 
ing and  making  merry.  Our  masters  stayed  till  morning,  and  so 
did  we,  without  thinking  the  time  long ;  for  while  they  were  toying 
with  the  mistresses,  we  attacked  the  maids.  At  length  we  all  parted 
when  daylight  peeped  in  on  our  festivities,  and  went  tt)  bed  each  of 
us  at  our  separate  homes. 

My  master  getting  up  at  his  usual  time,  about  noon,  dressed  him- 
self. He  went  out.  I  followed  him,  and  we  paid  a  visit  to  Don 
Antonio  Centelles,  with  whom  we  found  one  Don  Alvaro  de  Acuna. 
He  was  an  old  gentleman,  who  gave  lectures  on  the  science  of  de- 
bauchery. The  rising  generation,  if  they  wanted  to  qualify  them- 
selves for  fine  gentlemen,  put  themselves  under  his  tuition.  He 
moulded  their  ductile  habits  to  pleasure,  taught  them  to  make  a  dis- 
tinguished figure  in  the  world,  and  to  squander  their  substance  ;  he 
bad  no  qualms  as  to  running  out  his  own,  for  the  deed  was  done. 
After  these  three  blades  had  exchanged  the  compliments  of  the 
morning,  Centelles  said  to  my  master,  "  In  good  faith,  Don  Matthias, 
you  could  not  have  come  at  a  more  lucky  time.  Don  Alvaro  is  come 
to  take  me  with  him  to  a  dinner,  given  by  a  citizen  to  the  Marquis 
de  Zenette  and,  Don  Juan  de  Moncade,  and  you  shall  be  of  the 
party."  "And  what  is  the  citizen's  name?"  said  Don  Matthias. 
"  Gregorio  de  Noriega,"  said  Don  Alvaro,  "  and  I  will  describe  the 
young  man  in  two  words.  His  father,  a  rich  jeweller,  is  gone 
abroad  to  attend  the  foreign  markets,  and  left  his  son,  at  his  depart- 
ure, in  the  enjoyment  of  a  large  income.  Gregorio  is  a  blockliead. 
with  a  turn  for  every  sort  of  extravagance,  and  an  awkward  hanker- 
ing after  the  reputation  of  wit  and  fashion,  in  despite  of  nature.  He 
has  begged  of  me  to  give  him  a  few  instructions.  I  manage  him 
completely,  and  can  assure  you,  gentlemen,  that  I  lead  him  a  rare 
dance.  His  estate  is  rather  deeply  dipped  already."  "I  do  not 
doubt  it,"  exclaimed  Centelles ;  "  I  see  the  vulgar  dog  in  an  alms- 
house.    Come,  Don  Matthias,  let  us  honor  the   fellow  with  our 


AD  VENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  149 

acquaintance,  and  be  in  at  the  deatli  of  him."  "Willingly," 
answered  my  master,  "  for  I  delight  in  seeing  the  fortune  of  these 
plebeian  upstarts  kicked  over  when  they  affect  to  mix  among  us. 
Nothing,  for  instance,  ever  entertained  me  so  much  as  the  downfall 
of  the  toll-gatherer's  son,  whom  play,  and  the  vanity  of  figuring 
among  the  great,  have  stripped,  till  he  has  not  a  house  over  hia 
head."  "  Oh,  as  for  that,"  replied  Don  Alvaro,  "  he  deserves  nd 
pity ;  he  is  as  great  a  coxcomb  in  his  poverty  as  he  was  in  his  pros- 
perity." 

Centelles  and  my  master  accompanied  Don  Alvaro  to  Gregorio  de 
Noriega's  party.  We  went  there  also,  that  is  Mogicon  and  myself, 
both  in  ecstasy  at  having  an  opportunity  of  sponging  on  a  citizen, 
and  pleasing  ourselves  with  the  thoughts  of  being  in  at  the  death  of 
him.  At  our  entrance,  we  observed  several  men  employed  in  pre- 
paring dinner  ;  and  there  issued  from  the  ragouts  they  were  taking 
up,  a  vapor  which  conciliated  the  palate  through  the  medium  of  the 
nostrils.  The  Marquis  de  Zenette  and  Don  Juan  de  Moncade  were 
just  come.  The  founder  of  the  feast  seemed  a  great  simpleton.  He 
aped  the  man  of  fashion  with  a  most  clumsy  grace ;  a  wretched  copy 
of  admirable  originals,  or,  more  properly,  an  idiot  in  the  chair  of 
wisdom  and  taste.  Figure  to  yourself  a  man  of  this  character  in 
the  centre  of  five  bantering  fellows,  all  intent  on  making  a  jest  of 
him,  and  drawing  him  into  ridiculous  expenses.  "  Gentlemen," 
said  Don  Alvaro,  after  the  first  interchange  of  civilities,  "give  me 
leave  to  introduce  you  to  Signor  Gregorio  de  Noriega,  a  most  bril- 
liant star  in  the  hemisphere  of  fashion.  He  owns  a  thousand  amiable 
qualities.  Do  you  know  that  he  has  a  highly-cultivated  understand- 
ing? Choose  your  own  subject,  he  is  equally  at  home  in  every 
branch,  from  the  subtility  and  closeness  of  logic,  to  the  elementary 
science  of  the  criss-cross-row."  "  Oh,  this  is  really  too  flattering," 
interrupted  the  scot-and-lot  gentleman,  with  a  very  uncouth  laugh. 
"  I  might,  Signor  Alvaro,  put  you  to  the  blush  as  you  have  put  me; 
for  you  may  truly  be  termed  a  reservoir,  as  it  were,  a  common  sewer- 
of  erudition."  "  I  had  no  intention,"  replied  Don  Alvaro,  "  to  draw 
upon  myself  so  savory  an  encomium  ;  but  truly,  gentlemen,  Signor 
Gregorio  cannot  fail  of  establishing  a  name  in  the  world."  "As  for 
me,"  said  Don  Antonio,  "  what  is  so  delightful  in  my  eyes,  far  above 
the  honors  of  logic  or  the  criss-cross-row,  is  the  tasteful  selection  of 
his  company.  Instead  of  demeaning  himself  to  the  level  of  trades- 
men, he  associates  only  with  the  young  nobility,  and  sets  the  expense 
at  nought.  There  is  an  elevation  of  sentiment  in  this  conduct  which 
enchants  me  :  and  this  is  what  you  may  truly  call  disbursing  with 
taste  and  judgment." 

These  ironical  speeches  were  only  the  preludes  to  a  continuaJ 


150  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

strain  of  banter.  Poor  Gregorio  was  attacked  on  all  hands.  The 
wits  shot  their  bolts  by  turns,  but  they  made  no  impression  on  the 
fool ;  on  the  contrary,  he  took  all  they  said  literally,  and  seemed 
highly  pleased  with  his  guests,  as  if  they  did  him  a  favor  by  making 
him  their  laughing-stock.  In  short,  he  served  them  for  a  butt  while 
they  sat  at  table,  which  they  did  not  quit  during  the  afternoon,  nor 
till  late  at  night.  We,  as  well  as  our  masters,  drank  as  we  liked,  so 
that  the  servants'  hall  and  the  dining-room  were  in  equally  high 
order  when  we  took  our  leave  of  the  young  jeweller. 


CHAPTER    V 


GIL  BLAS  BECOMES    THE  DARLING    OF  THE   FAIR    SEX,  AND  MAKES  AN 
INTERESTING  ACQUAINTANCE. 

AFTER  some  hours'  sleep,  I  got  up  in  fine  spirits ;  and  calling 
the  advice  of  Melendez  to  mind,  went,  till  my  master  was 
stirring,  to  pay  my  court  to  our  steward,  whose  vanity  was  rather 
flattered  by  this  attention.  He  received  me  with  a  gracious  air,  and 
inquired  how  I  was  reconciled  to  the  habits  and  manners  of  the 
young  nobility.  I  answered,  that  they  were  sti'ange  to  me  as  yet, 
but  that  use  and  good  example  might  work  wonders  in  the  end. 

Use  and  good  example  did  work  wonders,  and  that  right  soon. 
My  temper  and  conduct  were  quite  altered.  From  a  discreet,  sober 
lad,  I  got  to  be  a  lively,  heedless  merry-andrew.  Don  Antonio's 
servant  paid  me  a  compliment  on  my  transformation,  and  told  me 
that  there  wanted  nothing  but  a  tender  interest  in  the  lovely  part  of 
creation  to  shine  like  a  new  star  dropped  from  the  heavens.  He 
pointed  out  to  me  that  it  was  an  indispensable  requisite  in  the  char- 
acter of  a  pretty  fellow,  that  all  our  set  were  well  with  some  fine 
woman  or  other;  and  that  he  himself,  to  his  own  share,  engrossed 
the  favors  of  two  beauties  in  high  life.  I  was  of  opinion  that  the 
rascal  lied.  "  Master  Mogicon,"  said  I,  "  you  are  doubtless  a  very 
dapper,  lively  little  fellow,  with  a  modest  assurance ;  but  still  I  do 
not  comprehend  how  women  of  quality,  not  having  your  sweet  per- 
son in  their  own  private  establishments,  should  run  the  risk  of 
being  detected  in  an  intrigue  with  a  footman  out  of  doors."  "  Oh, 
as  for  that,"  answered  he,  "  they  do  not  know  my  condition.  To  my 
master's  wardrobe,  and  even  to  his  name,  I  am  indebted  for  these 
conquests.    I  will  tell  you  how  it  is.    I  dress  myself  up  as  a  young 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  151 

nobleman,  and  assume  the  manners  of  one.  I  go  to  public  places 
and  tip  the  wink  first  to  one  woman  and  then  to  another,  till  I  meet 
with  one  who  returns  the  signal.  Her  I  follow,  and  find  means  to 
speak  with  her.  I  take  the  name  of  Don  Antonio  Centelles.  I  plead 
for  an  assignation,  the  lady  is  squeamish  about  it ;  I  am  pressing, 
she  is  kind,  &c.  Thus  it  is,  my  fine  fellow,  that  I  contrive  to  carry 
on  my  intrigues,  and  I  would  have  you  profit  by  the  hint." 

I  was  too  ambitious  of  shining  like  a  new  star  dropped  from  the 
heavens  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  such  counsel ;  besides,  there  was  about 
me  no  aversion  to  an  amour.  I  therefore  laid  a  plan  to  disguise 
myself  as  a  young  nobleman,  and  look  out  for  adventures  of  gal- 
lantry. There  was  a  risk  in  assuming  my  masquerade  dress  at 
home,  lest  it  might  be  observed.  I  took  a  complete  suit  from  my 
master's  wardrobe,  and  made  it  up  into  a  bundle,  which  I  carried  to 
a  barber's,  where  I  thought  I  could  dress  and  undress  conveniently. 
There  I  tricked  myself  out  to  the  best  advantage.  The  barber,  too, 
lent  a  helping  hand  to  my  attire.  When  we  thought  it  adjusted  to 
a  nicety,  I  sauntered  towards  Saint  Jerome's  meadow,  whence  I  felt 
morally  certain  that  I  should  not  return  without  making  an  impres- 
sion. But  I  could  not  even  get  thither,  without  a  proof  of  my  own 
attractions. 

As  I  was  crossing  a  by-street,  a  lady  of  genteel  figure,  elegantly 
dressed,  came  out  of  a  small  house,  and  got  into  a  hired  carriage 
standing  at  the  door.  1  stopped  short  to  look  at  her,  and  bowed 
significantly,  so  as  to  convey  an  intimation  that  my  heart  was  not 
insensible.  On  her  part,  to  show  me  that  her  face  was  not  less 
lovely  than  her  person,  she  lifted  up  her  veil  for  a  moment.  In  the 
meantime  the  coach  set  off,  and  I  stood  stock  s.till  in  the  street,  not 
a  little  stiffened  at  this  vision.  "A  vastly  pretty  woman !"  said  I 
to  myself;  "bless  us  !  this  is  just  what  is  wanting  to  make  me  per- 
fectly accomplished.  If  the  two  ladies  who  share  Mogicon  between 
them  are  equally  handsome,  the  scoundrel  is  in  luck  !  I  should  be 
delighted  with  her  for  a  mistress."  Euminating  on  these  things,  I 
looked,  by  chance,  towards  the  house  whence  that  lovely  creature 
had  glided,  and  saw,  at  a  window  on  the  ground  floor,  an  old  woman 
beckoning  me  to  come  in. 

I  flew  like  lightning  into  the  house,  and  found,  in  a  very  neat  par- 
lor, this  venerable. and  wary  matron,  who,  taking  me  for  a  marquis 
at  least,  dropped  a  low  courtesy,  and  said  :  "  I  doubt  not,  my  lord, 
but  you  must  have  a  bad  opinion  of  a  woman  who,  without  the 
slightest  acquaintance,  beckons  you  out  of  the  street ;  but  you  will 
perhaps  judge  more  favorably  of  me  when  you  shall  know  that  I  do 
not  pay  that  compliment  promiscuously.  You  look  like  a  man  of 
fashion !"     "  You  are  perfectly  in  the  right,  my  old  girl,"  inter- 


152  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

rupted  I,  stretching  out  my  right  leg,  and  throwing  the  weight  of 
my  body  on  my  left  hip  ;  "  mine  is,  vanity  apart,  one  of  the  best 
families  in  Spain."  "  It  must  be  so  by  your  looks,"  replied  she, 
"and  I  will  fairly  own  that  I  delight  in  doing  a  kindness  to  people 
of  quality — that  is  my  weak  side.  I  watched  you  through  my  win- 
dow. You  looked  very  earnestly  at  a  lady  who  has  just  left  me. 
Perhaps  you  may  have  taken  a  fancy  to  her  ?  Tell  me  so  plainly." 
"  By  the  honor  of  my  house,"  answered  I,  "  she  has  shot  me  through 
the  heart.  I  never  saw  anything  so  tempting;  a  most  divine  crea- 
ture; do  bring  us  acquainted,  my  dear,  and  rely  on  my  gratitude. 
It  is  worth  while  to  do  these  little  offices  for  us  of  the  beau  monde/ 
they  are  better  paid  than  our  bills." 

"  I  have  told  you  once  for  all,"  replied  the  old  woman,  "  I  am 
entirely  devoted  to  people  of  condition ;  it  is  my  passion  to  be  useful 
to  them  :  I  receive  here,  for  example,  a  certain  class  of  ladies,  whom 
appearances  prevent  from  seeing  their  favorites  at  home.  I  lend 
them  my  house,  and  thus  the  warmth  of  their  constitutions  is  in- 
dulged without  risk  to  their  characters."  "  Vastly  well,"  quoth  I, 
"and  you  have  just  done  that  kindness  to  the  lady  in  question?" 
"No,"  answered  she,  "  this  is  a  young  widow  of  quality,  in  want  of 
an  admirer;  but  so  difficult  in  her  choice,  that  I  do  not  know 
whether  you  will  do  for  her,  however  great  your  requisites  may  be. 
I  have  already  introduced  to  her  three  well-furnished  gallants,  but 
she  turned  up  her  nose  at  them."  "  Oh  !  egad,  my  life,"  exclaimed 
I  confidently,  "  you  have  only  to  stick  me  in  her  skirts,  I  will  give 
you  a  good  account  of  her,  take  my  word  for  it.  I  long  to  have  a 
grapple  with  a  beauty  of  such  peremptory  demands  ;  they  have  not 
yet  fallen  in  my  way."  "Well,  then,"  said  the  old  woman,  "you 
have  only  to  come  Hither  to-morrow  at  the  same  hour:  your  curi- 
osity shall  be  satisfied."  " I  will  not  fail,"  rejoined  I ;  "we  shall 
see  whether  a  young  nobleman  can  miss  a  conquest." 

I  returned  to  the  little  barber's  without  looking  for  other  adven- 
tures, but  deeply  interested  in  tlie  event  of  this.  Therefore,  on  the 
following  day,  I  went  in  splendid  attire  to  the  old  woman's  an  hour 
sooner  than  the  time.  "  My  lord,"  said  she,  "  you  are  punctual,  and 
I  take  it  kindly.  To  be  sure  the  game  is  worth  the  chase.  I  have 
seen  our  young  widow,  and  we  have  had  a  good  deal  of  talk  about 
you.  Not  a  word  was  to  be  said  ;  but  I  have  taken  such  a  liking  to 
you  that  I  cannot  hold  my  tongue.  You  have  ma:de  yourself  agree- 
able, and  will  soon  be  a  happy  man.  Between  ourselves,  the  lady  is 
a  relishing  morsel;  her  husband  did  not  live  long  with  her;*  he 
glided  away  like  a  shadow :  she  has  all  the  merit  of  an  absolute 
girl."  The  good  old  lady  no  doubt  meant  one  of  those  clever  girls 
who  coiitrive  not  to  live  single,  though  they  live  unmarried. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  153 

The  heroine  of  the  assignation  soon  came  in  a  hired  carriage,  as  on 
the  day  before,  dressed  very  magnificently.  As  soon  as  she  came 
into  the  room,  I  led  off  with  five  or  six  coxcombical  bows,  accom- 
panied by  the  most  fashionable  grimaces.  After  this,  I  went  up  to 
her  with  a  very  familiar  air,  and  said :  "  My  adored  angel,  you 
behold  a  gentleman  of  no  iliean  rank,  whom  your  charms  have 
undone.  Your  image,  since  yesterday,  has  taken  complete  posses- 
sion of  my  fancy ;  you  have  turned  a  duchess  neck  and  heels  out  of 
my  heart,  who  was  beginning  to  establish  a  footing  there."  "  The 
triumph  is  too  glorious  for  me,"  answered  she,  throwing  off  her  veil, 
"  but  still  my  transports  are  not  without  alloy.  Young  men  of 
fashion  love  variety,  and  their  hearts  are,  they  say,  bandied  about 
from  one  to  the  other  like  a  piece  of  base  money."  "  Ah  1  my  sov- 
ereign mistress,"  replied  I,  "  let  us  leave  the  future  to  shift  for  itself, 
and  think  only  of  the  present.  You  are  lovely :  I  am  in  .love.  If 
my  passion  is  not  hateful  to  you,  let  it  take  its  course  at  random. 
We  will  embark  like  true  sailors,  set  the  storms  and  shipwreck  of  a 
long  voyage  at  defiance,  and  only  take  the  fair  weather  of  the  time 
present  into  the  account," 

In  finishing  this  speech,  I  threw  myself  in  raptures  at  the  feet  of 
my  nymph ;  and  the  better  to  hit  off  my  assumed  character,  pressed 
her  with  some  little  peevishness  not  to  delay  my  bliss.  She  seemed 
a  little  touched  by  my  remonstances,  but  thought  it  too  soon  to 
yield,  and,  giving  me  a  gentle  rebuff:  "  Hold,"  said  she,  "  you  are 
too  importunate ;  this  is  like  a  rake.  I  fear  you  are  but  a  loose 
young  fellow."  "  For  shame,  madam  !"  exclaimed  I ;  "  can  you  set 
your  face  against  what  women  of  the  first  state  and  condition  en- 
courage? A  prejudice  against  what  is  vulgarly  called  vice  may  be 
all  very  well  for  citizens'  wives."  "  That  is  decisive,"  replied  she ; 
"there  is  no  resisting  so  forcible  a  plea,  I  see  plainly  that  with 
men  of  your  order  dissimulation  is  to  no  purpose ;  a  woman  must 
meet  you  half  way.  Learn,  then,  your  victory,"  added  she,  with  an 
appearance  of  disorder,  as  if  her  modesty  suffered  by  the  avowal ;  "  you 
have  inspired  me  with  sentiments  such  as  are  new  to  my  heart,  and 
I  only  wait  to  know  who  you  are,  that  I  may  take  you  for  my 
acknowledged  lover.  I  believe  you  a  young  lord  and  a  gentleman, 
yet  there  is  no  trusting  to  appearances;  and,  however  prepossessed 
T  may  be  in  your  favor,  I  would  not  give  away  my  affections  to  a 
stranger." 

I  recollected  at  the  moment  how  Don  Antonio's  servant  had  got 
out  of  a  similar  perplexity,  and  determining,  after  his  example,  to 
pass  for  my  master:  "  Madam,"  said  I,  to  my  dainty  widow,  "I  will 
not  excuse  myself  from  telling  you  my  name ;  it  is  one  that  will  not 
disparage  its  owner.    Have  you  ever  heard  of  Don  Matthias  d« 


154  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Silva  ?"  "  Yes,"  replied  she ;  "  indeed  I  have  seen  him  with  a  lady 
of  my  acquaintance."  Though  considerably  improved  in  impudence, 
I  was  a  little  troubled  by  this  discovery.  Yet  I  rallied  my  forces  in 
an  instant,  and  extricated  myself  with  a  happy  presence  of  mind. 
"  Well,  then,  my  fair  one,"  retorted  I,  "  the  lady  of  your  acquaint- 
ance .  .  .  knows  a  lord  ...  of  my  acquaintance  .  .  .  and  I  am  of 
his  acquaintance;  of  his  own  family,  since  you  must  know  it.  His 
grandfather  married  the  sister-in-law  of  my  father's  uncle.  You  see 
we  are  very  near  relations.  My  name  is  Don  Caesar.  I  am  the  only 
son  of  the  great  Don  Ferdinand  de  Ribera,  slain  fifteen  years  ago, 
in  a  battle  on  the  frontiers  of  Portugal.  I  could  give  you  all  the 
particulars  of  the  action ;  it  was  a  devilish  sharp  one  .  .  .  but  to 
fight  it  over  again  would  be  losing  the  precious  moments  of  mutual 
love." 

After  this  discourse  I  got  to  be  importunate  and  impassioned,  but 
without  bringing  matters  at  all  forward,  The  favors  which  my  god- 
dess winked  at  my  snatching,  tended  only  to  make  me  languish  for 
those  she  was  more  chary  of.  The  tyrant  got  back  to  her  coach, 
which  was  waiting  at  the  door.  Nevertheless,  I  withdrew,  well 
enough  pleased  with  my  success,  though  it  still  fell  short  of  the  only 
perfect  issue.  "  If,"  said  I  to  myself,  "  I  have  obtained  indulgences 
but  by  halves,  it  is  because  this  lady,  forsooth,  is  a  high-born  dame, 
and  thinks  it  beneath  her  quality  to  play  the  very  woman  at  the 
first  interview.  The  pride  of  pedigree  stands  in  the  way  of  my 
advancement  just  now,  but  in  a  few  days  we  shall  be  better 
acquainted."  To  be  sure,  it  did  once  come  into  my  head  that  she 
might  be  one  of  those  cunning  gypsies  always  on  the  catch.  Yet  I 
liked  better  to  look  at  things  on  the  right  side  than  on  the  wrong, 
and  thus  maintained  a  favorable  opinion  of  my  widow.  We  had 
agreed  at  parting  to  meet  again  on  the  day  after  the  morrow  ;  and 
the  hope  of  arriving  at  the  summit  of  my  wishes  gave  me  a  fore- 
taste of  the  pleasures  with  which  I  tickled  my  fancy. 

With  my  brain  full  of  joyous  traces,  I  returned  to  my  barber. 
Having  changed  my  dress,  I  went  to  attend  my  master  at  the  tennis- 
court.  I  found  him  at  play,  and  saw  that  he  won ;  for  he  was  not 
one  of  those  impenetrable  gamesters-who  make  or  mar  a  fortune 
without  moving  a  muscle.  In  prosperity  he  was  flippant  and  over- 
bearing, but  quite  peevish  on  the  losing  side.  He  left  the  tennis- 
court  in  high  spirits,  and  went  to  the  Prince's  Theatre.  I  followed 
him  to  the  box-door,  then,  putting  a  ducat  into  my  hand,  "  Here, 
Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "as  I  have  been  a  winner  to-day,  you  shall  not 
be  the  worse  for  it ;  go,  divert  yourself  with  your  friends,  and  come 
to  me  about  midnight  at  Arsenia's,  where  I  am  to  sup  with  Don 
Alexo  Segiar."    He  then  went  in,  and  I  stood  debating  with  whom 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  155 

I  should  disburse  my  ducat,  according  to  the  pious  will  of  the 
founder.  I  did  not  muse  long.  Clarin,  Don  Alexo's  servant,  just 
then  came  in  my  way.  I  took  him  to  the  next  tavern,  and  we 
amused  ourselves  there  till  midnight.  Thence  we  repaired  to 
Arsenia's  house,  where  Clarin  had  orders  to  attend.  A  little  footboy 
opened  the  door,  and  showed  us  into  a  room  down  stairs,  where 
Arsenia's  waiting-woman,  and  the  lady  who  held  the  same  office 
about  Florimonde,  were  laughing  ready  to  split  their  sides,  while 
their  mistresses  were  above  stairs  with  our  masters. 

The  addition  of  two  jolly  fellows  just  come  from  a  good  supper 
could  not  be  unwelcome  to  abigails,  and  to  the  abigails  of  actresses 
too ;  but  what  was  my  astonishment  when  in  one  of  these  lowly 
ladies  I  discovered  my  widow — my  adorable  widow — whom  I  took 
for  a  countess  or  a  marchioness  !  She  appeared  equally  amazed  to 
see  her  dear  Don  Csesar  de  Ribera  metamorphosed  into  the  valet  of 
a  beau.  However,  we  looked  at  one  another  without  being  put  out 
of  countenance ;  indeed,  such  a  tingling  sensation  of  laughter  came 
over  us  both,  as  we  could  not  help  indulging  in.  After  this  Laura-r- 
for  that  was  her  name — drawing  me  aside  while  Clarin  was  speak- 
ing to  her  fellow-servant,  held  out  her  hand  to  me  very  kindly,  and 
said  in  a  low  voice,  "  Accept  this  pledge,  Signor  Don  Csesar ;  mutual 
congratulations  are  more  to  the  purpose  than  mutual  reproaches, 
my  friend.  You  topped  your  part  to  perfection,  and  I  was  not  quite 
contemptible  in  mine.  What  say  you  ?  Confess  now,  did  not  you 
take  me  for  one  of  those  precious  peeresses  who  are  fond  of  a  little 
smuggled  amusement?"  "It  is  even  so,"  answered  I,  "but  who- 
ever you  are,  my  empress,  I  have  not  changed  my  sentiments  with 
my  paraphernalia.  Accept  my  services  in  good  part,  and  let  the 
valet  de  chambre  of  Don  Matthias  consummate  what  Don  Caesar  has 
so  happily  begun."  "Get  you  gone,"  replied  she;  "I  like  you 
ten  times  better  in  your  natural  than  in  your  artificial  character. 
You  are  as  a  man  what  I  am  as  a  woman,  and  that  is  the  greatest 
compliment  I  can  pay  you.  You  are  admitted  into  the  number  of 
my  adorers.  You  have  no  longer  any  need  of  the  old  woman  as  a 
blind ;  you  may  come  and  see  me  whenever  you  like.  We  theatrical 
ladies  are  no  slaves  to  form,  but  live  higgledy-piggledy  with  the 
men,  I  allow  that  the  effects  are  sometimes  visible,  but  the  public 
wink  hard  at  our  irregularities;  the  drama's  patrons,  as  you  well 
know,  give  the  drama's  laws,  and  absolve  us  from  all  others." 

We  went  no  further,  because  there  were  bystanders.  The  conver- 
sation became  general,  lively,  jovial,  inclining  to  loose  jokes,  not 
very  carefully  wrapped  up.  We  all  of  us  bore  a  bob.  Arsenia's 
attendant,  above  all,  my  amiable  Laura,  was  very  conspicuous,  but 
her  wit  was  so  extremely  nimble,  that  her  virtue  could  never  over- 


156  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

take  it.  Our  masters  and  the  actresses  on  the  floor  above  raised 
incessant  peals  of  laughter,  which  reached  us  in  the  regions  below  ; 
and  probably  the  entertainment  was  much  alike  with  the  celestials 
and  the  infernals.  If  all  the  knowing  remarks  had  been  written 
down  which  escaped  from  the  philosophers  that  night  assembled  at 
Arsenia's,  I  really  think  it  would  have  been  a  manual  for  the  rising 
generation.  Yet  we  could  not  arrest  the  chaste  moon  in  her  pro- 
gress; the  rising  of  that  blab,  the  sun,  parted  us.  Clarin  followed 
the  heels  of  Don  Alexo,  and  I  went  home  with  Don  Matthias. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

THE  PKINCE'S  company  OF  COMEDIANS. 

MY  master  getting  up  the  next  day,  received  a  note  from  Don 
Alexo  Segiar,  desiring  his  company  immediately.  We  went, 
and  found  there  the  Marquis  de  Zenette,  and  another  young  noble- 
man of  prepossessing  manners,  whom  I  had  never  seen.  "Don 
Matthias,"  said  Segiar  to  my  protector,  introducing  the  stranger, 
"  give  me  leave  to  present  Don  Pompeyo  de  Castro,  a  relation  of 
mine.  He  has  been  at  the  court  of  Portugal  almost  from  his  child- 
hood. He  reached  Madrid  last  night,  and  returns  to  Lisbon  to-mor- 
row. He  can  allow  me  only  one  day.  I  wish  to  make  the  most  of  the' 
precious  moments,  and  thought  of  asking  you  and  the  Marquis  de 
Zenette  to  make  out  the  time  agreeably."  Thereupon  my  master 
and  Don  Alexo's  relation  embraced  heartily,  and  complimented  one 
another  in  the  most  extravagant  manner.  I  was  much  pleased  with 
Don  Pompeyo's  conversation :  it  showed  both  acuteness  and  solidity. 
They  dined  with  Segiar ;  and  the  gentlemen,  after  the  dessert, 
amused  themselves  at  play  till  the  theatre  opened.  Then  they  went 
all  together  to  the  Prince's  House,  to  see  a  new  tragedy  called  "The 
Queen  of  Carthage."  At  the  end  of  the  piece  they  returned  to 
supper,  and  their  conversation  ran  first  on  the  composition,  then  upon 
the  actors.  "  As  for  the  work,"  cried  Don  Matthias,  "  I  think  very 
lightly  of  it.  -Sneas  is  a  more  pious  blockhead  there  than  in 
the  yEneid.  But  it  must  be  owned  that  the  piece  was  played 
divinely.  What  does  Signor  Don  Pompeyo  think  of  it?  He  does 
not  seem  to  agree  with  me."  "Gentlemen,"  said  the  illustrious 
stranger,  with  a  smile,  "you  are  so  enraptured  with  your  actors,  and 
still  more  with  your  actresses,  that  I  scarcely  dare  avow  my  dis- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  157 

sent."  "That  is  very  prudent,"  interrupted  Don  Alejco,  with  a 
sneer ;  "  your  criticisms  would  be  ill  received.  You  should  be  ten- 
der of  our  actresses  before  the  trumpeters  of  their  fame.  We  carouse 
with  them  every  day ;  we  warrant  them  sound  in  their  conceptions  ; 
we  would  give  vouchers  for  the  justness  of  their  expression,  if  it 
were  necessary."  "No  doubt  of  it,"  answered  his  kinsman  ;  "you 
would  do  the  same  kind  office  by  their  lives  and  their  manners  from 
the  same  motives  of  companionable  feeling." 

"  Your  ladies  of  the  sock  and  buskin  at  Lisbon,"  said  the  Marquis 
de  Zenette,  "are  doubtless  far  superior?"  "They  certainly  are," 
replied  Don  Pompeyo.  "  They  are  some  of  them  at  least  perfect  in 
their  cast."  "And  these,"  resumed  the  marquis,  "would  be  war- 
ranted by  you  in  their  conceptions  and  expressions  ?"  "  I  have  no 
personal  acquaintance  with  them,"  rejoined  Don  Pompeyo.  "  I  am 
not  of  their  revels,  and  can  judge  of  their  merits  without  partiality. 
Do  you,  in  good  earnest,  think  your  company  first-rate?"  "No, 
really,"  said  the  marquis,  "  I  think  no  such  thing,  and  only  plead 
the  cause  of  a  few  individuals.  I  give  up  all  the  rest.  Will  you 
not  allow  extraordinary  powers  to  the  actress  who  played  Dido? 
Did  she  not  personate  that  queen  with  the  dignity,  and  at  the  same 
time  with  all  the  bewitching  charms,  calculated  to  realize  our  idea 
of  the  character?  Could  you  help  admiring  the  skill  with  which 
she  seizes  on  the  passions  of  the  spectator,  and  harmonizes  their 
tone  to  the  vibrations  she  purposes  to  produce?  She  may  be  called 
perfect  in  the  exquisite  art  of  declaiming."  "  I  agree  with  you," 
said  Don  Pompeyo,  "  that  she  can  touch  the  string  either  of  terror 
or  of  pity :  never  did  any  actress  come  closer  to  the  heart,  and  the 
performance  is  altogether  fine ;  but  still  she  is  not  without  her  de- 
fects. Two  or  three  things  disgusted  me  in  her  playing.  Would 
she  denote  surprise  ?  she  glances  her  eyes  to  and  fro  in  a  most  ex- 
travagant manner,  altogether  unbecoming  her  supposed  majesty  as 
a  princess.  Add  to  this,  that  in  swelling  her  voice,  which  is  of 
itself  sound  and  mellifluous,  she  goes  out  of  her  natural  key,  and 
assumes  a  harsh,  ranting  tone.  Besides,  it  should  seem  as  if  she 
might  be  suspected,  in  more  than  one  passage,  of  not  very  clearly 
comprehending  her  author.  Yet  I  would  in  candor  rather  suppose 
her  wanting  in  diligence  than  capacity." 

"As  far  as  I  see,"  said  Don  Matthias  to  the  critic,  "you  will 
never  write  complimentary  odes  to  our  actresses!"  "Pardon  me," 
answered  Don  Pompeyo.  "  I  can  discover  high  talent  through  all 
their  imperfections.  I  must  say  that  I  was  enchanted  with  the 
chambermaid  in  the  interlude.  What  fine  natural  parts  1  With 
what  grace  she  treads  the  stage  1  Has  she  anything  pointed  to  de- 
liver? she  heightens  it  by  an  arch  smile,  with  a  keen  glance  and 


158  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

sarcastic  emphasis,  which  convey  more  to  the  understanding  than 
the  words  to  the  ear.  It  might  be  objected  that  she  sometimes  gives 
too  much  scope  to  her  animal  spirits,  and  exceeds  the  limits  of 
allowable  freedom,  but  that  would  be  hypercritical.  There  is  one 
bad  habit  I  should  strongly  advise  her  to  correct.  Sometimes  in 
the  very  crisis  of  the  action,  and  in  an  affecting  passage,  she  bursts 
in  all  at  once  upon  the  interest  with  some  misplaced  jest,  to  curry 
favor  with  the  mob  of  barren  spectators.  The  pit,  you  will  say,  is 
caught  by  her  artifice ;  that  may  be  well  for  her  popularity,  but  not 
for  their  taste." 

"  And  what  do  you  think  of  the  men  ?"  interrupted  the  marquis ; 
"  you  must  give  them  no  quarter,  since  you  have  handled  the  women 
so  roughly."  "  Not  so,"-  said  Don  Pompeyo.  "  There  are  some 
promising  young  actors,  and  I  am  particularly  well  pleased  with 
that  corpulent  performer  who  played  the  part  of  Dido's  prime  min- 
ister. His  recitation  is  unaffected,  and  he  declaims  just  as  they  do 
in  Portugal."  "  If  you  can  bear  such  a  fellow  as  that,"  said  Segiar, 
"you  must  be  charmed  with  the  representative  of  ^neas.  Did  not 
you  think  him  a  great,  an  original  performer?"  "  Very  original, 
indeed,"  answered  the  critic;  "his  inflections  are  quite  his  own,, 
they  are  as  shrill  as  a  hautboy.  Almost  always  out  of  nature,  he 
rattles  the  impressive  words  of  the  sentence  off  his  tongue,  while  he 
labors  and  lingers  on  the  expletives;  the  poor  conjunctions  are 
frightened  at  their  own  report  as  they  go  off.  He  entertained  me 
excessively,  and  especially  when  he  was  expressing  in  confidence 
his  distress  at  abandoning  the  princess:  never  was  grief  more  ludic- 
rously depicted."  "  Fair  and  softly,  cousin,"  replied  Don  Alexo ; 
"you  will  make  us  believe  at  last  that  good  taste  is  not  greatly 
cultivated  at  the  court  of  Portugal.  Do  you  know  that  the  actor 
of  whom  we  are  speaking  is  esteemed  a  phenomenon  ?  Did  you  not 
observe  what  thunders  of  applause  he  called  down?  He  cannot 
therefore  be  contemptible."  "That  therefore  does  not  prove  the 
proposition,"  replied  Don  Pompeyo.  "  But,  gentlemen,  let  us  lay 
aside,  I  beseech  you,  the  injudicious  suffrages  of  the  pit ;  they  are 
often  given  to  performers  very  unseasonably.  Indeed,  their  boister- 
ous tokens  of  approbation  are  more  frequently  bestowed  on  paltry 
copies  than  on  original  merit,  as  Phedrus  teaches  us  by  an  ingenious 
fable.  Allow  me  to  repeat  it  as  follows :— The  whole  population  of 
a  city  was  assembled  in  a  large  square  to  see  a  pantomime  played. 
Among  the  perfbrmers  there  was  one  whose  feats  were  applauded 
every  instant.  This  buffoon,  at  the  end  of  the  entertainment,  wished 
to  close  the  scene  with. a  new  device.  He  came  alone  upon  the 
stage,  stooping  down,  covering  his  head  with  his  mantle,  and  began 
counterfeiting  the  squeak  of  a  pig.     He  acquitted  himself  so  natu* 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  159 

rally  as  to  be  suspected  of  having  the  animal  itself  concealed  within 
the  folds  of  his  drapery.  He  stripped,  but  there  was  no  pig.  The 
assembly  rang  with  more  furious  applause  than  ever.  A  peasant, 
among  the  spectators,  was  disgusted  at  this  misplaced  admiration. 
'  Gentlemen,'  exclaimed  he, '  you  are  in  the  wrong  to  be  so  delighted 
with  this  buffoon ;  he  is  not  so  good  a  mimic  as  you  take  him  for. 
I  can  enact  the  pig  better ;  if  you  doubt  it,  only  attend  here  this 
time  to-morrow.'  The  people,  prejudiced  in  the  cause  of  their  favor- 
ite, collected  in  greater  numbers  on  the  next  day,  rather  to  hiss  the 
countryman  than  to  see  what  he  could  do.  The  rivals  appeared  on 
the  stage.  The  buffoon  began,  and  was  more  applauded  than  the 
day  before.  Then  the  farmer,  stooping  down  in  his  turn,  with  his 
head  wrapped  up  in  his  cloak,  pulled  the  ear  of  a  real  pig  under  his 
arm,  and  made  it  squeal  most  horribly.  Yet  this  enlightened  audi- 
ence persisted  in  giving  the  preference  to  their  favorite,  and  hooted 
the  countryman  off  the  boards,  who,  producing  the  pig  before  he 
went,  said,  'Gentlemen,  you  are  not  hissing  me,  but  the  original 
pig.     So  much  for  your  judgment.' " 

''Cousin,"  said  Don  Alexo,  "your  fable  is  rather  satirical.  Never- 
theless, in  spite  of  your  pig,  we  will  not  bate  an  inch  of  our  opinion. 
But  let  us  change  the  subject,  this  is  grown  threadbare.  Then  you 
set  off  to-morrow,  do  what  we  can  to  keep  you  with  us  longer?" 
"  I  should  like,"  answered  his  kinsman,  "  to  protract  my  stay  with 
you,  but  it  is  not  in  my  power.  I  have  told  you  already  that  I  am 
come  to  the  court  of  Spain  on  an  affair  of  state.  Yesterday,  on  my 
arrival,  I  had  a  conference  with  the  prime  minister ;  I  am  to  see 
him  to-morrow  morning,  and  shall  set  out  immediately  afterwards 
on  my  return  to  Lisbon."  "  You  are  become  quite  a  Portuguese," 
observed  Segiar,  "  and  to  all  appearance,  we  shall  lose  you  entirely 
from  Madrid."  "  I  think  otherwise,"  replied  Don  Pompeyo,  "  I 
have  the  honor  to  stand  well  with  the  King  of  Portugal,  and  have 
many  motives  of  attachment  to  that  court ;  yet  with  all  the  kind- 
ness that  sovereign  has  testified  towards  me,  would  you  believe  that 
I  have  been  on  the  point  of  quitting  his  dominions  forever." 
"  Indeed  I  by  what  strange  accident?"  said  the  marquis.  "  Give  us 
the  history,  I  beseech  you."  "  Very  readily,"  answered  Don  Pom- 
peyo, "  and  at  the  same  time  my  own,  for  it  is  closely  interwoven 
with  the  recital  for  which  you  have  called." 


160  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

CHAPTER   VII. 

HISTORY  OF  DON    POMPEYO  DK  CASTRO. 

"  ~I~\ON  ALEXO  knows  that  from  my  boyish  days,  my  passion 
I  J  was  for  a  military  life.  Our  own  country  being  at  peace, 
I  went  into  Portugal ;  thence  to  Africa  with  the  Duke  of  Braganza, 
who  gave  me  a  commission.  I  was  a  younger  brother,  with  as  slen- 
der a  provision  as  most  in  Spain  ;  so  that  my  only  chance  was  in 
attracting  the  notice  of  the  commander-in-chief  by  my  bravery.  I 
was  so  far  from  deficient  in  my  duty,  that  the  duke  promoted  me, 
step  by  step,  to  one  of  the  most  honorable  posts  in  the  service. 
After  a  long  war,  of  which  you  all  know  the  issue,  I  devoted  myself 
to  the  court;  and  the  king,  on  strong  testimonials  from  the  general 
officers,  rewarded  me  with  a  considerable  pension.  Alive  to  that 
sovereign's  generosity,  I  lost  no  opportunity  of  proving  my  gratitude 
by  my  diligence.  I  was  in  attendance  as  often  as  etiquette  would 
allow  me  to  offer  myself  to  his  notice.  By  this  conduct  I  gained 
insensibly  the  love  of  that  prince,  and  received  new  favors  from  his 
hands. 

''  One  day,  when  I  distinguished  myself  in  running  at  the  ring, 
and  in  a  bull-fight  preceding  it,  all  the  court  extolled  my  strength 
and  dexterity.  On  my  return  home,  with  my  honors  thick  upon 
me,  I  found  there  a  note,  informing  me  that  a  lady,  my  conquest 
over  whom  ought  to  flatter  me  more  than  all  the  glory  I  had  gained 
that  day,  wished  to  have  the  pleasure  of  my  company :  and  that  I 
had  only  to  attend  in  the  evening,  at  a  place  marked  out  in  the  let- 
ter. Tliis  was  more  than  all  my  public  triumphs,  and  I  concluded 
the  writer  to  be  a  woman  of  the  first  quality.  You  may  guess  that 
I  did  not  loiter  by  the  way.  An  old  woman  in  waiting,  as  my 
guide,  conducted  me  by  a  little  garden-gate  into  a  large  house,  and 
left  me  in  an  elegant  closet,  saying,  '  Stay  here,  I  will  acquaint  my 
mistress  with  your  arrival.'  I  observed  a  great  many  articles  of 
value  in  the  closet,  which  was  magnificently  illuminated ;  but  this 
splendor  only  caught  my  attention  as  confirming  me  in  my  previous 
opinion  of  the  lady's  high  rank.  If  appearances  strengthened  that 
conjecture,  her  noble  and  majestic  air  on  her  entrance  left  no  doubt 
on  my  mind.    Yet  I  was  a  little  out  in  my  calculation. 

"  'Noble  sir,'  said  she,  '  after  the  step  I  have  taken  in  your  favor, 
it  were  impertinent  to  disown  my  partiality.  Your  brilliant  actions 
of  to-day,  in  presence  of  the  court,  were  not  the  inspirers  of  my  sen- 
timents; they  only  urge  forward  this  avowal.  I  have  seen  you 
more  than  once,  have  inquired  into  your  character,  and  the  result 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  161 

has  determined  me  to  follow  the  impulse  of  my  heart.  But  do  not 
suppose  that  you  are  well  with  a  duchess,  I  am  but  the  widow 
of  a  captain  in  the  King's  Guards  ;  yet  there  is  something  to 
throw  a  radiance  round  your  victory  ....  the  preference  you 
have  gained  over  one  of  the  first  noblemen  in  the  kingdom. 
The  Duke  d'Alnaeyda  loves  me,  and  presses  his  suit  with  ardor, 
yet  without  success.  My  vanity  only  induces  me  to  bear  his  impor- 
tunities.' 

"  Though  I  saw  plainly,  by  this  address,  that  I  had  got  in  with  a 
coquette,  my  presiding  star  was  not  a  whit  out  of  my  good  graces 
for  involving  me  in  this  adventure.  Donna  Hortensia,  for  that  was 
the  lady's  name,  was  just  in  the  ripeness  and  luxuriance  of  youth 
and  dazzling  beauty.  Nay,  more,  she  had  refused  the  possession  of 
her  heart  to  the  earnest  entreaties  of  a  duke,  and  offered  it  unso- 
licited to  me.  What  a  feather  in  the  cap  of  a  Spanish  cavalier  1  I 
prostrated  myself  at  Hortensia's  feet,  to  thank  her  for  her  favors. 
I  talked  just  as  a  man  of  gallantry  always  does  talk,  and  she  had 
reason  to  be  satisfied  with  the  extravagance  of  my  acknowledgments. 
Thus  we  parted  the  best  friends  in  the  world,  on  the  terras  of  meet- 
ing every  evening  when  the  Duke  d'Almeyda  was  prevented  from 
coming ;  and  she  promised  to  give  me  due  notice  of  his  absence. 
The  bargain  was  exactly  fulfilled,  and  I  was  turned  into  the  Adonis 
of  this  new  Venus. 

"  But  the  pleasures  of  this  life  are  transitory.  With  all  the  lady's 
precautions  to  conceal  our  private  treaty  of  commerce  from  my  rival 
he  found  means  of  gaining  a  knowledge,  of  which  it  concerned  us 
greatly  to  keep  him  ignorant :  a  disloyal  chamber-maid  divulged  the 
state  secret.  This  nobleman,  naturally  generous,  but  proud,  self- 
sufl5cient,  and  violent,  was  exasperated  at  my  presumption.  Anger 
and  jealousy  set  him  beside  himself.  Taking  counsel  only  with  his 
rage,  he  resolved  on  an  infamous  revenge.  One  night  when  I  was 
with  Hortensia,  he  waylaid  me  at  the  little  garden  gate,  with  all  his 
servants  provided  with  cudgels.  As  soon  as  I  came  out,  he  ordered 
me  to  be  seized,  and  beat  to  death  by  these  wretches.  '  Lay  on,' 
said  he;  '  let  the  rash  intruder  give  up  the  ghost  under  your  chas- 
tisement; thus  shall  his  insolence  be  punished.'  No  sooner  had  he 
finished  these  words,  than  his  myrmidons  assaulted  me  in  a  body, 
and  gave  me  such  a  beating,  as  to  stretch  me  senseless  on  the 
ground :  after  which  they  hurried  off  with  their  master,  to  whom  this 
butchery  had  been  a  delicious  pastime.  I  lay  the  remainder  of  the 
night  just  as  they  had  left  me.  At  daybreak,  some  people  passed  by, 
who,  finding  that  life  was  still  in  me,  had  the  humanity  to  carry  nie 
to  a  surgeon.  Fortunately  my  wounds  were  not  mortal;  and,  falling 
into  skillful  hands,  I  was  perfectly  cured  in  two  months.  At  the 
11 


162  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

end  of  ^hat  period  I  made  my  appearance  again  at  court,  and  re- 
sumed my  former  way  of  life,  except  that  I  steered  clear  of  Hor- 
teusia,  who  on  her  part  made  no  further  attempt  to  renew  the 
acquaintance,  because  the  duke  on  that  condition,  had  pardoned 
her  infidelity. 

"  As  my  adventure  was  the  town  talk,  and  I  was  known  to  be  no 
coward,  people  were  astonished  to  see  me  as  quiet  as  if  I  had  re- 
ceived no  affront ;  for  I  kept  my  thoughts  to  myself,  and  seemed  to 
have  no  quarrel  with  any  man  living.  No  one  knew  what  to  think 
of  my  counterfeited  insensibility.  Some  imagined  that,  in  spite  of 
my  courage,  the  rank  of  the  aggressor  overawed  me,  and  occasioned 
my  tacit  submission.  Others,  with  more  reason,  mistrusted  my 
silence,  and  considered  my  inoffensive  demeanor  as  a  cover  to  my  re- 
venge. The  king  was  of  opinion  with  these  last,  that  I  was  not  a 
man  to  put  up  with  an  insult,  and  that  I  should  not  be  wanting  to 
myself  at  a  convenient  opportunity.  To  discover  my  real  intentions, 
he  sent  for  me  one  day  into  his  closet,  where  he  said :  *  Don  Pom- 
peyo,  I  know  what  accident  has  befallen  you,  and  am  surprised,  I 
own,  at  your  forbearance.  You  are  certainly  acting  a  part.'  *  Sire,' 
answered  I,  '  how  can  I  know  whom  to  challenge  ?  I  was  attacked 
in  the  night  by  persons  unknown :  it  is  a  misfortune  of  which  I  must 
make  the  best.'  '  No,  no,'  replied  the  king,  *  I  am  not  to  be  duped 
by  these  evasive  answers.  The  whole  story  has  reached  my  ears. 
The  Duke  d'Almeyda  has  touched  your  honor  to  the  quick.  You 
are  nobly  born,  and  a  Castilian :  I  know  what  that  double  character 
requires.  You  cherish  hostile  designs.  Admit  me  a  party  to  your 
purposes ;  it  must  be  so.  Never  fear  the  consequences  of  making 
me  your  confidant.' 

"  *  Since  your  majesty  commands  it,'  resumed  I,  '  my  sentiments 
shall  be  laid  open  without  reserve.  Yes,  sir,  I  meditate  a  severe  re- 
tribution. Every  man,  wearing  such  a  name  as  mine,  must  account 
for  its  untarnished  lustre  with  his  family.  You  know  the  unworthy 
treatment  I  have  experienced ;  and  I  purpose  assassinating  the  Duke 
d'Almeyda,  as  a  mode  of  revenge  corresponding  to  the  injury.  I 
shall  plunge  a  dagger  in  his  bosom,  or  shoot  him  through  the  head, 
and  escape,  if  I  can,  into  Spain.    This  is  my  design.' 

"'It  is  violent,'  said  the  king:  'and  yet  I  have  little  to  say 
against  it,  after  the  provocation  which  the  Duke  d'Almeyda  has 
given  you.  He  is  worthy  of  the  punishment  you  destine  for  him. 
But  do  not  be  in  a  hurry  with  your  project.  Leave  me  to  devise  a 
method  of  bringing  you  together  again  as  friends.'  '  Oh,  sir,'  ex- 
claimed I,  with  vexation,  'why  did  you  extort  my  secret  from  me? 
What  expedient  can.'  .  ,  .  '  If  mine  is  not  to  your  satisfaction/  in- 
terrupted he,  '  you  may  execute  your  first  intention.    I  do  not  mean 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS.  163 

to  abuse  your  confidence.  I  shall  not  implicate  your  honor;  so  rest 
contented  on  that  head.' 

"  I  was  greatly  puzzled  to  guess  by  what  means  the  king  designed 
to  terminate  this  affair  amicably ;  but  thus  it  was.  He  sent  to  speak 
with  the  Duke  d'Almeyda  in  private.  *  Duke/  said  he,  '  you  have 
insulted  Don  Pompeyo  de  Castro.  You  are  not  ignorant  that  he  is  a 
man  of  noble  birth,  a  soldier  who  has  served  with  credit,  and  stands 
high  in  my  favor.  You  owe  him  reparation.'  '  I  am  not  of  a  temper 
to  refuse  it,'  answered  the  duke.  '  If  he  complains  of  my  outrageous 
behavior,  I  am  ready  to  justify  it  by  the  law  of  arms.'  '  Something 
very  different  must  be  done,*  replied  the  king :  '  a  Spanish  gentle- 
man understands  the. point  of  honor  too  well  to  fight  on  equal  terms 
with  a  cowardly  assassin.  I  can  use  no  milder  term  ;  and  you  can 
only  atone  for  the  heinousness  of  your  conduct  by  presenting  a  cane 
in  person  to  your  antagonist,  and  offering  to  submit  yourself  to  its 
discipline.'  '  Oh,  heavens !'  exclaimed  the  duke :  '  what !  sir,  would 
you  have  a  man  of  my  rank  degrade,  debase  himself  before  a  simple 
gentleman,  and  submit  to  be  caned  1'  '  No,'  replied  the  monarch,  *  I 
will  oblige  Don  Pompeyo  to  promise  not  to  touch  you  Only  offer 
him  the  cane,  and  ask  his  pardon :  that  is  all  I  require  from  you.' 
'And  that  is  too  much,  sir,'  interrupted  the  Duke  d'Almeyda 
warmly :  '  I  had  rather  remain  exposed  to  all  the  secret  machina- 
tion of  his  resentment.'  'Your  life  is  dear  to  me,' said  the  king; 
'  and  I  should  wish  this  affair  to  have  no  bad  consequences.  To  ter- 
minate it  with  less  disgust  to  yourself,  I  will  be  the  only  witness  of 
the  satisfaction  which  I  order  you  to  offer  to  the  Spaniard.' 

"  The  king  was  obliged  to  stretch  his  influence  over  the  duke  to 
the  utmost,  before  he  could  induce  him  to  take  so  mortifying  a  step. 
However,  the  peremptory  monarch  effected  his  purpose,  and  then 
sent  for  me.  He  related  the  particulars  of  his  conversation  with 
my  enemy,  and  inquired  if  I  should  be  content  with  the  stipulated 
reparation.  I  answered  'Yes,'  and  gave  my  word  that,  far  from 
striking  the  offender,  I  would  not  even  accept  the  cane  when  he  pre- 
sented it.  With  this  understanding  the  duke  and  myself  at  a  cer- 
tain hour  attended  the  king,  who  took  us  into  his  closet.  '  Come,' 
said  he  to  the  duke,  '  acknowledge  your  fault,  and  deserve  to  be  for- 
given by  the  humility  of  your  contrition.'  Then  my  antagonist 
made  his  apology,  and  offered  me  the  cane  in  his  hand.  *  Don  Pom- 
peyo,' said  the  monarch  unexpectedly,  'take  the  cane,  and  let  not 
my  presence  prevent  you  from  doing  justice  to  your  outraged  honor. 
I  release  you  from  your  promise  not  to  strike  the  duke.'  *  No,  sir,' 
answered  I,  '  it  is  enough  that  he  has  submitted  to  the  indignity  of 
the  offer :  an  offended  Spaniard  asks  no  more'  '  Well,  then,'  re- 
plied the  king,  '  since  you  are  content  with  this  satisfaction,  you 


184  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

may  both  of  you  at  once  assume  the  privilege  of  a  gentlemanly 
quarrel.  Measure  your  swords,  and  discuss  the  question  honorably.' 
'  It  is  what  1  most  ardently  desire,'  exclaimed  the  Duke  d'Almeyda, 
in  a  menacing  tone,  '  for  that  is  only  competent  to  make  me  amends 
for  the  disgraceful  step  1  have  taken.' 

"  With  these  words  he  went  away,  full  of  rage  and  shame,  and 
sent  to  tell  me  two  hours  after  that  he  was  waiting  for  me  in  a  re- 
tired place.  I  kept  the  appointment,  and  found  this  nobleman 
ready  to  fight  lustily.  He  was  not  five-and-forty,  deficient  neither 
in  courage  nor  in  skill,  so  that  the  match  was  fair  and  equal. 
'  Come  on,  Don  Pompeyo !'  said  he ;  '  let  us  terminate  our  difference 
here.  Our  hostility  ought  to  be  reciprocally  mortal ;  yours  for  my 
aggression,  and  mine  for  having  asked  your  pardon.'  These  words 
were  no  sooner  out  of  his  mouth,  than  he  drew  upon  me  so  suddenly 
that  I  had  no  time  to  reply.  He  pressed  very  closely  upon  me  at 
first,  but  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  put  by  all  his  thrusts.  I  acted 
on  the  offensive  in  my  turn ;  the  encounter  was  evidently  with  a 
man  equally  skilled  in  defence  or  in  attack,  and  there  is  no  knowing 
what  might  have  been  the  issue,  if  he  had  not  made  a  false  step 
in  retiring,  and  fallen  backwards.  I  stood  still  immediately,  and 
said  to  the  duke,  '  Recover  yourself.'  '  Why  give  me  any  quarter?' 
he  answered.  'Your  forbearance  only  aggravates  my  disgrace.'  'I 
will  not  take  advantage  of  an  accident,'  replied  I;  'it  would  only 
tarnish  my  glory.  Once  more  recover  yourself,  and  let  us  fight  it 
out.' 

"  *  Don  Pompeyo,'  said  he,  rising,  '  after  this  act  of  generosity, 
honor  allows  me  not  to  renew  the  attack  upon  you.  What  would 
the  world  say  of  me  were  I  to  wound  you  mortally  ?  I  should  be 
branded  as  a  coward  for  having  murdered  a  man  at  whose  mercy  I 
had  just  lain  prostrate.  I  cannot,  therefore,  again  lift  my  arm 
against  your  life,  and  I  feel  my  resentful  passions  subsiding  into  the 
sweet  emotions  of  gratitude.  Don  Pompeyo,  let  us  mutually  lay 
aside  our  hatred.  Let  us  go  still  further :  let  us  be  friends.'  '  Ah,' 
my  lord,  exclaimed  I,  '  so  flattering  a  proposal  I  joyfully  accept.  I 
proffer  you  my  sincere  friendship,  and,  as  an  earnest,  promise  never 
more  to  approach  Donna  Hortensia,  though  she  herself  should  in- 
vite me.'  •  It  is  my  duty,'  said  he,  '  to  yield  that  lady  to  you.  Jus- 
tice requires  me  to  give  her  up,  since  her  affections  are  yours 
already.'  'No,  no,'  interrupted  I;  'you  love  her.  Her  partiality 
in  my  favor  would  give  you  uneasiness ;  I  sacrifice  my  own  pleasure 
to  your  peace.'  'Ah  I  too  generous  Castilian,'  replied  the  duke, 
embracing  me,  '  your  sentiments  are  truly  noble.  With  what  re- 
morse do  they  strike  me !  Grieved  and  ashamed,  I  look  back  on  the 
outrage  you  have  sustained.    The  reparation  in  the  king's  chamber 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  165 

seems  now  too  trifling.  A  better  recompense  awaits  you.  To 
obliterate  all  remembrance  of  your  shame,  take  one  of  my  nieces, 
whose  hand  is  at  my  disposal.  She  is  a  rich  heiress,  not  fifteen, 
with  beauty  beyond  the  attractions  of  mere  youth.' 

"  I  made  my  acknowledgments  to  the  duke  in  terms  such  as  the 
high  honor  of  his  alliance  might  suggest,  and  married  his  niece  a 
few  days  afterwards.  All  the  court  complimented  this  nobleman  on 
having  made  such  generous  amends  to  an  insulted  rival,  and  my 
friends  took  part  in  my  joy  at  the  happy  issue  of  an  adventure 
which  might  have  led  to  the  most  melancholy  consequences.  From 
this  time,  gentlemen,  I  have  lived  happily  at  Lisbon.  I  am  the  idol 
of  my  wife,  and  have  not  sunk  the  lover  in  the  husband.  The  Duke 
d'Almeyda  gives  me  new  proofs  of  friendship  every  day,  and  I  may 
venture  to  boast  of  standing  high  in  the  King  of  Portugal's  good 
graces.  The  importance  of  my  errand  hither  sufficiently  assures  me 
of  his  confidence." 


CHAPTER   Vni. 


AN  ACCIDENT,   IN  CONSEQUENCE  OF  WHICH  GIL  BLAS  WAS  OBLIGED 
TO  LOOK  OUT  FOR  ANOTHER  PLACE. 

SUCH  was  Don  Pompeyo's  story,  which  Don  Alexo's  servant  and 
myself  overheard,  though  we  were  prudently  sent  away  before 
he  began  his  recital.  Instead  of  withdrawing,  we  skulked  behind 
the  door,  which  he  had  left  half  open,  and  from  that  station  we  did 
not  miss  a  word.  After  this,  the  company  went  on  drinking;  but 
they  did  not  prolong  their  carousals  till  the  morning,  because  Don 
Pompeyo,  who  was  to  speak  with  the  prime  minister,  wished  for  a 
little  rest  beforehand.  The  Marquis  de  Zenette  and  my  master  took 
a  cordial  leave  of  the  stranger,  and  left  him  with  his  kinsman. 

We  went  to  bed,  for  once,  before  daybreak ;  and  Don  Matthias, 
when  he  awoke,  invested  me  with  a  new  office.  "Gil  Bias,"  said 
he,  "  take  pen,  ink,  and  paper,  and  write  two  or  three  letters,  as  I 
shall  dictate :  you  shall  henceforth  be  my  secretary."  "  Well  and 
good  I"  said  I  to  myself—"  a  plurality  of  functions.  As  footman,  I 
follow  my  master's  heels ;  as  valet-de-chambre,  I  help  him  to  dress ; 
and  write  for  him,  as  his  secretary.  Heaven  be  praised,  for  my 
apotheosis  I  Like  the  triple  Hecate  of  the  Pantheon,  I  am  to  enact 
three  different  characters  at  the  same  time."  "  Can  you  guess  my 
intention?"  continued  he.    "Thus  it  is:  but  take  care  what  you 


166  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

are  about ;  your  life  may  depend  on  it.  As  I  am  continually  meet- 
ing with  fellows  who  boast  of  their  success  among  the  women,  I 
mean,  by  way  of  getting  the  upper  hand,  to  fill  my  pockets  with 
fictitious  love-letters,  and  read  them  in  company.  It  will  be  amusing 
enough.  Happier  than  my  competitors,  who  make  conquests  only 
for  the  pleasure  of  the  boast,  I  shall  take  the  credit  of  intrigue,  and 
spare  myself  the  labor.  But  vary  your  writing,  so  that  the  manu- 
facture may  not  be  detected  by  the  sameness  of  the  hand." 

I  then  sat  down,  to  comply  with  the  command  of  Don  Matthias, 
■who  first  dictated  a  tender  epistle  to  this  tune :  "  You  did  not  keep 
your  promise  to-night.  Ah  I  Don  Matthias,  how  will  you  exculpate 
yourself?  My  error  was  a  cruel  one  I  But  you  punish  me  de- 
servedly for  my  vanity,  in  fancying  that  business  and  amusement 
were  all  to  give  way  before  the  pleasure  of  seeing  Donna  Clara  de 
Mendoza !"  After  this  pretty  note,  he  made  me  write  another,  aa 
if  from  a  lady,  who  sacrificed  a  prince  to  him ;  and  then  a  third, 
whose  fair  writer  offered,  if  she  could  rely  on  his  discretion,  to  em- 
bark with  him  for  the  shores  of  (/ytherean  enchantment.  It  was 
not  enough  to  dictate  these  love-sick  strains ;  he  forced  me  to  sub- 
scribe them,  with  the  most  high-flying  names  in  Madrid.  I  could 
not  forbear  hinting  at  some  little  hazard  in  all  this,  but  he  begged 
me  to  keep  my  sage  counsels,  till  they  were  called  for.  I  was 
obliged  to  hold  my  tongue,  and  dispatch  his  orders  out  of  hand. 
That  done,  he  got  up  and  dressed,  with  my  assistance.  The  letters 
were  put  into  his  pockets,  and  out  he  went.  I  followed  him  to  din- 
ner, with  Don  Juan  de  Moncade,  who  entertained  five  or  six  gentle- 
men of  his  acquaintance  that  day. 

There  was  a  grand  set-out,  and  mirth,  the  best  relish,  was  not 
wanting  to  the  banquet.  All  the  guests  contributed  to  enliven  the 
conversation,  some  by  wit  and  humor,  others  by  anecdotes,  of  which 
the  relators  were  the  heroes.  My  master  would  not  lose  so  fine  an 
opportunity  of  bringing  our  joint  performances  to  bear.  He  read 
them  audibly,  and  with  so  much  assurance,  that  probably  the  whole 
party,  with  the  exception  of  his  secretary,  was  taken  in  by  the  de- 
vice. Among  the  company,  before  whom  this  trick  was  impudently 
played  off,  there  was  one  person,  by  name  Don  Lope  de  Velasco. 
This  person,  a  very  grave  don,  instead  of  making  himself  merry, 
like  the  rest,  with  the  fictitious  triumphs  of  the  reader,  asked  him 
coolly  if  the  conquest  of  Donna  Clara  had  been  achieved  with  any 
great  difficulty?  "Less  than  the  least,"  answered  Don  Matthias; 
"the  advances  were  all  on  her  side.  She  saw  me  in  public,  and 
took  a  fancy  to  my  person.  A  scout  was  commissioned  to  follow 
me,  and  thus  she  got  at  my  name  and  condition.  She  wrote  to  me, 
and  gave  me  an  appointment,  at  an  hour  of  the  night  when  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  167 

house  was  sure  to  be  quiet.  I  was  true  as  the  needle  to  the  pole; 
her  bed-chamber  was  the  place.  .  ,  .  But  prudence  and  delicacy 
forbid  my  describing  what  passed  there." 

At  this  instance  of  tender  regard  for  the  lady's  character,  Signor 
de  Velasco  betrayed  some  very  passionate  workings  in  his  counte- 
nance. It  was  easy  to  see  the  interest  he  took  in  the  subject.  "All 
these  letters,"  said  he  to  my  master,  looking  at  him  with  an  eye  of 
indignation  and  contempt,  "  are  infamous  forgeries ;  and,  above  all, 
that  which  you  boast  of  having  received  from  Donna  Clara  de  Men- 
doza.  There  is  not,  in  all  Spain,  a  more  modest  young  creature 
than  herself.  For  these  two  years,  a  gentleman,  at  least  your  equal 
in  birth  and  personal  merit,  has  been  trying  every  method  of  in- 
sinuating himself  into  her  heart.  Scarcely  have  his  assiduities  ex- 
torted the  slightest  encouragement ;  but  yet  he  may  flatter  himself 
that,  if  anything  beyond  common  civility  had  been  granted  at  all, 
it  would  have  been  to  him  only."  "  Well,  who  says  to  the  con- 
trary ?"  interrupted  Don  Matthias,  in  a  bantering  way.  "  I  agree 
with  you,  that  the  lady  is  a  very  pretty-behaved  young  lady.  On 
my  part,  I  am  a  very  pretty-behaved  young  gentleman.  Ergo,  you 
may  rest  assured  that  nothing  took  place  between  us  but  what  was 
pretty  and  well-behaved."  "  Indeed  I  This  is  too  much,"  inter- 
rupted Don  Lope,  in  his  turn ;  "  let  us  lay  aside  this  unseasonable 
jesting.  You  are  an  impostor.  Donna  Clara  never  gave  you  an 
appointment  by  night.  Her  reputation  shall  not  be  blackened  by 
your  ribaldry.  But  prudence  and  delicacy  forbid  my  describing 
what  must  pass  between  you  and  me."  With  this  retort  on  his  lips, 
he  looked  contemptuously  round,  and  withdrew  with  a  menacing 
aspect,  which  anticipated  serious  consequences,  to  my  judgment.  My 
master,  whose  courage  was  better  than  his  cause,  held  tlic  threats  of 
Don  Lope  in  derision.  "A  blockhead  1"  exclaimed  he,  bursting 
into  a  loud  laugh.  "  Our  knights-errant  used  to  tilt  for  the  beauty  of 
their  mistresses;  this  fellow  would  engage  in  the  lists  for  the  forlorn  ' 
hope  of  virtue  in  his ;  he  is  more  ridiculous  than  his  prototypes." 

Velasco's  retiring,  in  vain  opposed  by  Moncade,  occasioned  no 
interruption  to  the  merriment.  The  party,  without  thinking  further 
about  it,  kept  the  ball  up  briskly,  and  did  not  part  till  they  had 
made  free  with  the  next  day.  We  went  to  bed — that  is,  my  master 
and  myself— about  five  o'clock  in  the  morning.  Sleep  sat  heavy  on 
my  eyelids,  and,  as  I  thought,  was  taking  permanent  possession 
thereof;  but  I  reckoned  without  my  host,  or  rather  without  our  por- 
ter, who  came  and  waked  me  in  an  hour,  to  say  that  there  was  a  lad 
inquiring  for  me  at  the  door.  "  Oh,  thou  infernal  porter !"  muttered 
I,  indistinctly,  through  the  interstices  of  a  long  yawn;  "do  you 
consider  that  I  have  but  now  got  to  bed  ?    Tell  the  little  rascal  that 


168  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

I  am  just  asleep ;  he  must  come  again,  by-and-by."  "He  insists," 
replied  Cerberus,  "on  speaking  with  you  instantly;  his  business 
cannot  wait"  As  that  was  the  case,  I  got  up,  put  on  nothing  but 
my  breeches  and  doublet,  and  went  down  stairs,  swearing  and  gaping. 
"  My  friend,"  said  I,  "  be  so  good  as  to  let  me  know  what  urgent 
affair  procures  me  the  honor  of  seeing  you  so  early  ?"  "  I  have  a 
letter,"  answered  he,  "to  deliver  personally  into  the  hands  of  Signor 
Don  Matthias,  to  be  read  by  him  without  loss  of  time ;  it  is  of  the 
last  consequence  to  him  ;  pray,  show  me  into  his  room."  As  I 
thought  the  matter  looked  serious,  I  took  the  liberty  of  disturbing 
my  master.  "  Excuse  me,"  said  I,  "  for  waking  you,  but  the  press- 
ing nature."  ...  "  What  do  you  want?"  interrupted  he,  just  in 
ray  style  with  the  porter.  "Sir,"  said  the  lad,  who  was  at  my  elbow, 
"  here  is  a  letter  from  Don  Lope  de  Velasco."  Don  Matthias  looked 
at  the  cover,  broke  it,  and,  after  reading  the  contents,  said  to  the 
messenger  of  Don  Lope,  "  My  good  fellow,  I  never  get  up  before 
noon,  let  the  party  be  ever  so  agreeable;  judge  whether  I  can  be 
expected  to  be  stirring  by  six  in  the  morning  for  a  small-sword  re- 
creation. You  may  tell  your  master  that,  if  he  chooses  to  kick  his 
heels  at  the  spot  till  half-past  twelve,  we  will  come  and  see  how  he 
looks  there ;  carry  him  that  answer."  With  this  flippant  speech,  he 
plunged  down  snugly  under  the  bed-clothes,  and  fell  fast  asleep 
again,  as  if  nothing  had  happened. 

Between  eleven  and  twelve,  he  got  up  and  dressed  himself,  with 
the  utmost  composure,  and  went  out,  telling  me  that  there  was  no 
occasion  for  my  attendance ;  but  I  was  too  much  on  the  tenterhooks 
about  the  result  to  mind  his  orders.  I  sneaked  after  him,  to  Saint 
Jerome's  meadow,  where  I  gaw  Don  Lope  de  Velasco  waiting  for 
him.  I  took  my  station  to  watch  them  ;  and  was  an  eye-witness  to 
all  the  circumstances  of  their  encounter.  They  saluted,  and  began 
their  fierce  debate  without  delay.  The  engagement  lasted  long. 
They  exchanged  thrusts  alternately,  with  equal  skill  and  mettle. 
The  victory,  however,  was  on  the  side  of  Don  Lope ;  he  ran  my 
master  through,  laid  him  helpless  on  the  ground,  and  made  his 
escape,  with  apparent  satisfaction  at  the  severe  reprisal.  I  ran  up 
to  the  unfortunate  Don  Matthias,  and  found  him  in  a  most  desper- 
ate situation.  The  sight  melted  me.  I  could  not  help  weeping  at 
a  catastrophe  to  which  I  had  been  an  involuntary  contributor. 
Nevertheless,  with  all  sympathy,  I  had  still  my  little  wits  about  me. 
Home  went  I,  in  a  hurry,  without  saying  a  word.  I  made  up  a  bun- 
dle of  my  own  goods  and  chattels,  inadvertently  slipping  in  some 
odd  articles  belonging  to  my  master ;  and  when  I  had  deposited 
this  with  the  barber,  where  my  dress,  as  a  fine  gentleman,  was  still 
lodged,  I  published  the  news  of  the  fatal  accident.     Any  gaper 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  169 

might  have  it  for  the  trouble  of  listening;  and,  above  all,  I  took 
care  to  make  Eodriguez  acquainted  with  it.  He  would  have  been 
extremely  afflicted,  but  that  his  own  proceedings  in  this  delicate 
case  required  all  his  attention.  He  called  the  servants  together, 
ordered  them  to  follow  him,  and  we  all  repaired  to  Saint  Jerome's 
meadow.  Don  Matthias  was  taken  up  alive,  but  he  died  three  hours 
after  he  was  brought  home.  Thus  ended  the  life  of  Signer  Don 
Matthias  de  Silva,  only  for  having  taken  a  fancy  to  reading  supposi- 
titious love-letters  unseasonably. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  NEW  gERVICE  AFTER  THE    DEATH  OF  DON  MATTHIAS  DE  SILVA. 

SOME  days  after  the  .funeral,  the  establishment  was  paid  up  and 
discharged.  I  fixed  my  headquarters  with  the  little  barber,  in 
a  very  close  connection  with  whom  I  began  to  live.  It  seemed  to 
promise  more  pleasure  than  with  Melendez.  As  I  was  in  no  want 
of  money,  it  was  time  enough  to  think  of  another  place;  besides,  I 
had  got  to  be  rather  nice  on  that  head.  I  would  not  go  into  service 
any  more,  but  in  families  above  the  vulgar.  In  short,  I  was  deter- 
mined to  inquire,  very  strictly,  into  the  character  of  a  new  place. 
The  best  would  not  be  too  good ;  such  high  pretensions  did  the  late 
valet  of  a  young  nobleman  think  himself  entitled  to  assume  above 
the  common  herd  of  servants. 

Waiting  till  fortune  should  throw  a  situation  in  my  way,  worthy 
to  be  honored  by  my  acceptance,  I  thought  I  could  not  do  better 
than  to  devote  my  leisure  to  my  charming  Laura,  whom  I  had  not 
seen  since  the  pleasant  occurrence  of  our  double  discovery.  I  could 
not  venture  on  dressing  as  Don  Caesar  de  Ribera;  it  would  have 
been  an  act  of  madness  to  have  assumed  that  style  but  as  a  dis- 
guise. Besides  that,  my  own  suit  was  not  much  out  of  condition ; 
all  smaller  articles  had  propagated  miraculously  in  the  aforesaid 
bundle.  I  made  myself  up,  therefore,  with  the  barber's  aid,  as  a 
sort  of  middle  man  between  Don  Caesar  and  Gil  Bias.  In  this 
demi-character,  I  knocked  at  Arsenia's  door.  Laura  was  alone  in 
the  parlor  where  we  had  met  last.  "  Ah  I  is  it  you  ?"  cried  she,  as 
soon  as  she  saw  me ;  "  I  thought  you  were  lost.  You  have  had  leave 
to  come  and  see  me  for  this  week  ;  but  it  seems  you  are  modest,  and 
do  not  presume  too  much  on  your  license." 


170  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

I  made  my  apology  on  the  score  of  ray  master's  death,  with  my 
own  engagements  consequent  thereupon  ;  and  I  added,  in  the  spirit 
of  gallantry,  that  in  my  greatest  perplexities  my  lovely  Laura  had 
always  been  foremost  in  my  thoughts.  "  That  being  so,"  said  she, 
"  I  have  no  more  reproaches  to  make,  and  I  will  frankly  own  that  I 
have  thought  of  you.  As  soon  as  I  was  acquainted  with  the  un- 
timely end  of  Don  Matthias,  a  plan  occurred  to  me,  probably  not 
quite  displeasing  to  you.  I  heard  my  mistress  say,  some  time  ago, 
that  she  wanted  a  sort  of  man  of  business — a  good  arithmetician — 
to  keep  an  exact  account  of  our  outgoings.  I  fixed  my  affections  on 
your  lordship ;  you  seem  exactly  calculated  for  such  an  office."  "  I 
feel  myself,"  answered  I,  "  a  steward  by  inspiration.  I  have  read 
all  that  Aristotle  has  written  on  finance ;  and  as  for  reducing  it  to 
the  modern  system  of  book-keeping.  .  .  .  But,  my  dear .  girl, 
there  is  one  impediment  in  the  way."  "  What  impediment  ?"  said 
Laura.  "I  have  sworn,"  replied  I,  "never  again  to  live  with  a 
commoner ;  I  have  sworn  by  Styx,  or  something  else  as  binding.  If 
Jupiter  could  not  burst  the  links  of  such  an  oath,  judge  whether  a 
poor  servant  ought  not  to  be  bound  by  it."  "  What  do  you  mean  by 
a  commoner?"  rejoined  the  impetuous  abigail;  "for  what  do  you 
take  us  actresses  ?  Do  you  take  us  for  the  ribs  of  the  limbs  of  the 
law  ! — for  attorneys'  wives  ?  I  would  have  you  to  know,  my  friend, 
that  actresses  rank  with  the  first  nobility,  being,  only  common  to 
the  uncommon,  and,  therefore,  though  common,  uncommonly  illus- 
trious." "  On  that  footing,  my  uncommon  commoner,"  said  I,  "the 
post  you  have  destined  for  me  is  mine ;  I  shall  not  lower  my  dig- 
nity by  accepting  it."  "No,  to  be  sure,"  said  she ;  "backward  and 
forward  between  a  puppy  of  fashion  and  a  she- wolf  of  the  stage ; 
why,  it  is  exactly  preserving  an  equilibrium  of  rank  in  the  creation. 
We  are  sympathetic  animals,  just  on  a  level  with  the  people  of  qua- 
lity. We  have  our  equipages  in  the  same  style ;  we  give  our  little 
suppers  on  the  same  scale ;  and,  on  the  broad  ground,  we  are  just  of 
as  much  use  in  civil  society.  In  fact,  to  draw  a  parallel  between  a 
marquis  and  a  player  through  the  space  of  four-and-twenty  hours, 
they  are  just  on  a  par.  The  marquis,  for  three-fourths  of  the  time, 
ranks  above  the  player  by  political  courtesy  and  sufferance ;  the 
player,  during  his  hour  on  the  stage,  overtops  the  marquis  in  the 
part  of  an  emperor  or  a  king,  which  he  better  knows  how  to  enact. 
Thus,  there  seems  to  be  a  balance  between  natural  and  political 
nobility,  which  places  us  at  least  on  a  level  with  the  live  lumber  of 
the  court."  "Yes,  truly,"  replied  I,  "you  are  a  match  for  one 
another :  there  is  no  gainsaying  it.  Bless  their  dear  hearts !  the 
players  are  not  men  of  straw,  as  I  foolishly  believed,  and  you  have 
made   my  mouth  water  to  serve  such  a  worshipful  fraternity." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  ,        171 

"  Well,  then,"  resumed  she,  '*  you  have  only  to  come  back  again  in 
two  days.  That  time  will  be  sufficient  to  incline  my  mistress  in 
your  favor ;  I  will  speak  up  for  you.  She  is  a  little  under  my  influ- 
ence ;  I  do  not  fear  bringing  you  under  this  roof." 

I  thanked  Laura  for  her  good  dispositions.  My  gratitude  took 
the  readiest  way  to  prove  itself  to  her  comprehension,  and  my  ten- 
der thrillings  expressed  more  than  words.  We  had  a  pretty  long 
conversation  together,  and  it  might  have  lasted  till  this  time,  if  a 
skipping  little  fellow  had  not  come  to  tell  my  nymph  of  the  side 
scenes  that  Arsenia  was  inquiring  for  her.  We  parted.  I  left  the 
house,  in  the  sweet  hope  of  soon  living  there  scot-free.  My  face  was 
shown  up  again  at  the  door  in  two  days.  "  I  was  looking  out  for 
you,"  said  my  accomplished  scout,  "  to  assure  you  that  you  are  a 
messmate  at  this  house.  Come,  follow  me ;  I  will  introduce  you  to 
my  mistress."  At  these  words  she  led  me  into  a  suite  of  five  or  six 
rooms  on  a  floor,  in  a  regular  gradation  of  costly  furniture  and 
tasteful  equipment. 

What  luxury  !  What  magnificence  1  I  thought  myself  in  pre- 
sence of  a  vice-queen,  or,  to  mend  the  poverty  of  the  comparison, 
in  a  fairy  palace,  where  all  the  riches  of  the  earth  were  collected. 
In  fact,  there  were  the  productions  of  many  people  and  of  many 
countries,  so  that  one  might  describe  this  residence  as  the  temple  of 
a  goddess,  whither  every  traveller  brought  some  rare  product  of  his 
native  land  as  a  votive  offering.  The  divinity  was  reclining  on  a 
luxurious  satin  sofa ;  she  was  lovely  in  my  eyes,  and  pampered  with 
the  fumes  of  daily  sacrifices.  She  was  in  a  tempting  dishabille,  and 
her  polished  hands  were  busy  about  an  elegant  new  head-dress  for 
her  appearance  that  evening.  "  Madam,"  said  the  abigail,  "  here  is 
that  said  steward  ;  take  my  word  for  it,  you  will  never  get  one  more 
to  your  liking."  Arsenia  looked  at  me  very  inquisitively,  and  did 
not  find  me  disagreeable.  "  Why,  this  is  something,  Laura  I"  cried 
she ;  "a  very  smart  youth,  truly ;  I  foresee  that  we  shall  do  very  well 
together."  Then,  directing  her  discourse  to  me,  "Young  man," 
added  she,  "  you  suit  me  to  a  hair,  and  I  have  only  one  observation 
to  make :  you  will  be  pleased  with  me  if  I  am  so  with  you."  I  an- 
swered that  I  should  do  my  utmost  to  serve  her  to  her  heart's  con- 
tent. As  I  found  that  the  bargain  was  struck,  I  went  immediately 
to  fetch  in  my  own  little  accommodations,  and  returned  to  take 
formal  possession. 


172  ADVEM'UREiS  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

CHAPTER  X. 

MUCH  SUCH  ANOTHER  AS  THE  FOREGOING. 

IT  was  near  the  time  of  the  doors  opening.  My  mistress  told  me 
to  attend  her  to  the  theatre  with  Laura.  We  went  into  her 
dressing-room,  where  she  threw  off  her  ordinary  attire,  and  assumed 
a  more  splendid  costume  for  the  stage.  When  the  performance 
began,  Laura  showed  me  the  way,  and  seated  herself'  by  my  side, 
where  I  could  see  and  hear  the  actors  to  advantage.  They  disgusted 
me  for  the  most  part,  doubtless  because  Don  Pompeyo  had  preju- 
diced me  against  them.  Several  of  them  were  loudly  applauded,  but 
the  fable  of  the  pig  would  now  and  then  come  across  my  mind. 

Laura  told  me  the  names  of  the  actors  and  actresses  as  they  made 
their  entrances.  Nor  did  she  stop  there,  for  the  hussy  gave  some 
highly-seasoned  anecdotes  into  the  bargain.  Her  characters  were, 
crack-brain  for  this,  impertinent  fellow  for  that.  "  That  delicate 
sample  of  sin,  who  depends  on  her  wantonness  for  her  attractions, 
goes  by  the  name  of  Rosarda :  a  bad  speculation  for  the  company  I 
She  ought  to  be  sent  with  the  next  cargo  to  New  Spain,  she  may 
answer  the  purpose  of  a  viceroy.  Take  particular  notice  of  that 
brilliant  star  now  coming  forward;  that  magnificent  setting  sun, 
increasing  in  bulk  as  its  fires  become  less  livid.  That  is  Casilda. 
If  from  that  distant  day  when  she  first  laid  herself  open  to  her  lovers 
she  had  required  of  each  of  them  a  brick  to  build  a  pyramid,  like 
an  ancient  Egyptian  princess,  the  edifice  by  this  time  would  have 
mounted  to  the  third  heaven."  In  short,  Laura  tore  all  characters 
to  pieces  by  her  scandal.  Heaven  forgive  her  wicked  tongue !  She 
blasphemed  her  own  mistress. 

And  yet  I  must  own  my  weakness.  I  was  in  love  with  the  wench, 
though  her  morals  were  not  strictly  pure.  She  scandalized  with  so 
winning  a  malignity  that  one  liked  her  the  better  for  it.  Off  went 
the  jill-flirt  between  the  acts,  to  see  if  Arsenia  wanted  her;  but 
instead  of  coming  straight  back  to  her  place,  she  amused  herself 
behind  the  scenes,  in  laying  herself  out  for  the  little  flatteries  of 
all  the  wheedling  fellows.  I  dogged  her  once,  and  found  that  she 
had  a  very  large  acquaintance.  No  less  than  three  players  did  I 
reckon  up,  who  stopped  to  chat  with  her  one  after  the  other,  and 
they  seemed  to  be  on  a  very  improvable  footing.  This  was  not 
quite  so  well ;  and,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  I  felt  what  jealousy 
was.  I  returned  to  my  seat  so  absent  and  out  of  spirits,  that  Laura 
remarked  it  as  soon  as  she  came  back  to  me.  "  What  is  the  matter, 
Gil  Bias?"  said  she  with  astonishment;   "what  blue  devil  has 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  173 

perched  upon  your  shoulder  in  my  absence  ?  You  look  gloomy  and 
out  of  temper."  "  My  fairy  queen,"  answered  I,  "  it  is  not  without 
reason ;  you  have  an  ugly  kick  in  your  gallop.  I  have  observed 
you  with  the  players."  ..."  So,  so  I  An  admirable  subject  for  a 
long  face,"  interrupted  she  with  a  laugh,  "  What !  That  is  your 
trouble,  is  it  ?  Why,  really !  you  are  a  very  silly  swain ;  but  you 
will  get  better  notions  among  us.  You  will  fall  by  degrees  into  our 
easy  manners.  No  jealousy,  my  dear  creature ;  you  will  be  com- 
pletely laughed  out  of  it  in  the  theatrical  world.  The  passion  is 
scarcely  known  there.  Fathers,  husbands,  brothers,  uncles,  and 
cousins,  are  all  upon  a  liberal  plan  of  community,  and  often  make 
a  strange  jumble  of  relationships." 

After  having  warned  me  to  take  no  umbrage,  but  to  took  at  every- 
thing like  a  philosophical  spectator,  she  vowed  that  I  was  the  happy 
mortal  who  had  found  the  way  to  her  heart.  She  then  declared 
that  she  should  love  me  always,  and  only  me.  On  this  assurance, 
which  a  man  might  have  doubted  without  criminal  scepticism,  I 
promised  her  not  to  be  alarmed  any  more,  and  kept  my  word.  I 
saw  her,  on  that  very  evening,,  whisper  and  giggle  with  more  men 
than  one.  At  the  end  of  the  play  we  returned  home  with  our  mis- 
tress, whither  Florimonde  came  soon  after  to  supper,  with  three  old 
noblemen  and  a  player.  Besides  Laura  and  myself,  the  establish- 
ment consisted  of  a  cook-maid,  a  coachman,  and  a  little  footboy. 
We  all  labored  in  our  respective  vocations.  The  lady  of  the  frying- 
pan,  no  less  an  adept  than  dame  Jacintha,  was  assisted  in  her 
cookery  by  the  coachman.  The  waiting-woman  and  the  little  foot- 
boy  laid  the  cloth,  and  I  set  out  the  sideboard,  magnificently  fur- 
nished with  plate,  offered  up  at  the  shrine  of  our  green-room  goddess. 
There  was  every  variety  of  wines,  and  I  played  the  cup-bearer,  to 
show  my  mistress  the  versatilityof  my  talents.  I  sweated  at  the 
impudence  of  the  actresses  during  supper ;  they  gave  themselves 
quality  airs,  and  affected  the  tone  of  high  life.  Far  from  giving 
their  guests  all  their  style  and  titles,  they  did  not  even  vouchsafe  a 
simple  "  Your  lordship,"  but  called  them  familiarly  by  their  proper 
names.  To  be  sure,  the  old  fools  encouraged  their  vanity  by  for- 
getting their  own  distance.  The  player,  for  his  part,  in  the  habits 
of  the  heroic  cast,  lived  on  equal  terms  with  them  ;  he  challenged 
them  to  drink,  and  in  every  respect  took  the  upper  hand.  "  In  good 
truth,"  said  I  to  myself,  "  while  Laura  was  demonstrating  the 
equality  of  the  marquis  and  the  comedian  during  the  day,  she  might 
have  drawn  a  still  stronger  inference  for  the  night,  since  they  pass 
it  so  merrily  in  drinking  together." 

Arsenia  and  Florimonde  were  naturally  frolicsome.  A  thousand 
broad  hints  escaped  them,  intermingled  with  small  favors,  and  then 


174  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

a  coquettish  revolt  at  their  own  freedom,  which  were  all  seasoned 
exactly  to  the  taste  of  these  old  sinners.  While  my  mistress  waa 
entertaining  one  of  them  with  a  little  harmless  toying,  her  friend, 
between  the  other  elders,  had  not  taken  the  cue  of  Susanna.  While 
I  was  contemplating  this  picture,  which  had  but  too  many  attractions 
for  a  knowing  youth  like  me,  the  dessert  was  brought  in.  Then  I 
set  the  bottles  and  glasses  on  the  table,  and  made  my  escape  to  sup 
with  Laura,  who  was  waiting  for  me.  "  How  now,  Gil  Bias,"  said 
she,  "  what  do  you  think  of  those  noblemen  above  stairs?"  "Doubt- 
less," answered  I,  "  they  are  deeply  smitten  with  Arsenia  and  Flor- 
imonde."  "  No,"  replied  she,  "  they  are  old  sensualists,  who  hang 
about  our  sex  without  any  particular  attachment.  All  they  ask  is 
some  little  frivolous  compliance,  and  they  are  generous  enough  to 
pay  well  for  the  least  trifle  of  amorous  endearment.  Heaven  be 
praised  I  Floriraonde  and  my  mistress  are  at  present  without  any 
serious  engagements ;  I  mean  that  they  have  no  husband-like  lovers, 
who  expect  to  engross  all  the  pleasures  of  a  house,  because  they 
stand  to  the  expenses.  I  am  very  glad  of  it:  a  sensible  woman 
of  the  world  ought  to  refuse  all  such  monopolies.  Why  take  a 
master?  It  is  better  to  support  an  establishment  by  retail  trade, 
than  to  confine  one's  self  to  chamber  practice  on  such  terms." 

When  Laura's  tongue  was  wound  up — and  it  was  seldom  down — 
words  seemed  to  cost  her  nothing.  What  a  glorious  volubility  I  She 
told  a  thousand  stories  of  the  actresses  belonging  to  the  prince's 
company;  and  I  gathered  from  her  whole  drift  that  I  could  not  be 
better  situated  to  take  a  scientific  view  of  the  cardinal  vices.  -Un- 
fortunately, I  was  at  an  age  when  they  inspire  but  little  horror;  and 
this  abigail  had  the  art  of  coloring  her  corruptions  so  lusciously  as 
to  hide  their  deformities,  and  heighten  their  meretricious  lure.  She 
had  not  time  to  open  the  tenth  part  of  her  theatrical  budget,  for  she 
did  not  talk  more  than  three  hours.  The  senators  and  the  player 
went  away  with  Florimonde,  whom  they  saw  safe  home. 

When  they  were  gone,  my  mistress  said  to  me:  "  Here,  Gil  Bias, 
are  ten  pistoles  to  go  to  market  to-morrow.  Five  or  six  of  our  gen- 
tlemen and  ladies  are  to  dine  here;  take  care  that  we  are  well 
served."  "  Madam,"  answered  I,  "  with  this  sum  there  shall  be  a 
banquet  for  the  whole  troop."  "  My  friend,"  replied  Arsenia,  "  cor- 
rect your  phraseology;  you  must  say  company,  not  troop.  A  troop 
of  robbers,  a  troop  of  beggars,  a  troop  of  authors;  but  a  company  of 
comedians,  especially  when  you  have  to  mention  the  actors  of 
Madrid."  I  begged  my  mistress's  pardon  for  having  used  so  disre- 
spectful a  terra,  and  entreated  her  to  excuse  my  ignorance.  I  pro- 
tested that  henceforward,  when  I  spoke  collectively  of  so  august  a 
body,  I  would  always  say  the  "  company." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  176 

CHAPTER   XI. 

A  THEATRICAL  LIFE  AND  AN  AUTHOR'S  LIFE. 

I  TOOK  the  field  the  next  morning,  to  open  my  campaign  as 
steward.  It  was  a  fish  day,  for  which  reason  I  bought  some  good 
fat  chickens,  rabbits,  partridges,  and  every  variety  of  game.  As  the 
gentlemen  of  the  sock  and  buskin  are  not  on  the  best  possible  terms 
■with  the  church,  they  are  not  over  scrupulous  in  their  observance  of 
the  rubric.  I  brought  home  provisions  more  than  enough  for  a 
dozen  portly  gentlemen  to  have  fasted  on  during  a  whole  Lent.  The 
cook  had  a  good  morning's  work.  While  she  was  getting  dinner 
ready,  Arsenia  got  up  and  spent  the  early  part  of  the  day  at  her 
toilet.  At  noon  came  two  of  the  players,  Signor  Eosimiro  and 
Signor  Ricardo.  Afterwards,  two  actresses,  Constance  and  Celi- 
naura;  then  entered  Florimonde,  attended  by  a  man  who  had  all 
the  appearance  of  a  most  spruce  cavalier.  He  had  his  hair  dressed 
in  the  most  elegant  manner,  his  hat  set  off"  with  a  fashionable  plume, 
very  tight  breeches,  and  a  shirt  with  a  laced  frill.  His  gloves  and 
his  handkerchief  were  in  the  hilt  of  his  sword,  and  he  wore  his  cloak 
with  a  grace  altogether  peculiar  to  himelf. 

With  a  prepossessing  physiognomy,  and  a  good  person,  there  was 
something  extraordinary  in  the  first  blush  of  him.  "  This  gentle- 
man," said  I  to  myself,  "must  be  an  original."  I  was  not  mis- 
taken; his  singularities  were  striking.  On  his  entrance,  he  ran, 
with  open  arms,  and  embraced  the  company,  male  and  female,  one 
after  another.  His  grimaces  were  more  extravagant  than  any  I  had 
yet  seen  in  this  region  of  foppery.  My  prediction  was  not  falsified 
by  his  discourse.  He  dwelt  with  fondness  on  every  syllable  he 
uttered,  and  pronounced  his  words  in  an  emphatic  tone,  with  ges- 
tures and  glances  artfully  adapted  to  the  subject.  I  had  the  curiosity 
to  ask  Lnura  who  this  strange  figure  might  be.  "I  forgive  you," 
said  she,  "  this  instance  of  an  inquisitive  disposition.  It  is  impossible 
to  see  and  to  hear  Signor  Carlos  Alonso  de  la  Ventoleria  for  the  first 
time  without  having  such  a  natural  longing.  I  will  paint  him  to  the 
life.  In  the  first  place,  he  was  originally  a  player.  He  left  the 
stage  through  caprice,  and  has  since  repented  in  sober  sadness  of  the 
step.  Did  you  notice  his  dark  hair  ?  Every  thread  of  it  is  pencilled, 
as  well  as  his  eyebrows  and  his  whiskers.  He  was  born  in  the 
reign  of  Saturn's  father  in  the  age  before  the  golden ;  but  as  there 
were  no  parish  registers  at  that  time,  he  avails  himself  of  the  primi- 
tive barbarism,  and  dates  at  least  twenty  centuries  below  the  true 
epoch.    Moreover,  his  self-sufficiency  keeps  pace  with  his  antiquity. 


176  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

He  passed  the  olympiads  of  his  youth  in  the  grossest  ignorance ;  but 
taking  a  fancy  to  become  learned  about  the  Christian  era,  he  en- 
gaged a  private  tutor,  who  taught  hira  to  spell  in  Greek  and  Latin. 
Nay,  more,  he  knows  by  heart  an  infinite  nuaiber  of  good  stories, 
which  he  has  given  so  often  as  genuine,  that  he  actually  begins  to 
believe  them  himself.  They  are  eternally  pressed  into  the  service, 
and  it  may  truly  be  said  that  his  wit  shines  at  the  expense  of  his 
memory.  He  is  thought  to  be  a  great  actor.  I  am  willing  to  believe 
it  implicitly,  but  I  must  own  he  is  not  to  my  taste.  He  declaims 
here  sometimes ;  and  I  have  observed,  among  other  defects,  an  affec- 
tation in  his  delivery,  with  a  tremulousness  of  voice  bordering  on 
the  antiquated  and  ridiculous." 

Such  was  the  portrait  drawn  by  my  abigail  of  this  honorary 
spouter;  and  never  was  mortal  of  a  more  stately  carriage.  He 
prided  himself,  too,  on  being  an  agreeable  companion.  He  never 
was  at  a  loss  for  a  commodity  of  trite  remarks,  which  he  delivered 
with  an  air  of  authority.  On  the  other  hand,  the  Thespian  frater- 
nity were  not  much  addicted  to  silence.  They  began  canvassing 
their  absent  colleagues  in  a  manner  little  consistent  with  charity,  it 
must  be  owned ;  but  this  is  a  failing  pardonable  in  players  as  well 
as  in  authors.  The  fire  grew  brisk  and  the  satire  personal.  "  You 
have  not  heard,  ladies,"  said  Rosimiro,  "  a  new  stroke  of  our  dear 
brother  Cesarino.  This  very  morning  he  bought  silk  stockings,  rib- 
bons, and  laces,  and  sent  them  to  rehearsal  by  a  little  page,  as  a 
present  from  a  countess."  "  What  a  knavish  trick !"  said  Signor  de 
la  Ventoleria,  with  a  smile  made  up  of  fatuity  and  conceit.  "  In  my 
time  there  was  more  honesty :  we  never  thought  of  descending  to 
such  impositions.  To  be  sure,  women  of  fashion  were  tender  to  our 
inventive  faculties,  nor  did  they  leave  such  purchases  to  be  made 
out  of  our  own  pockets;  it  was  their  whim."  "  By  the  honor  of  our 
house,"  said  Ricardo,  in  the  same  strain,  "that  whim  of  theirs  is 
lasting,  and  if  it  were  allowable  to  kis^  and  tell.  .  .  .  But  one  must 
be  secret  on  these  occasions;  above  all  when  persons  of  a  certain 
rank  are  concerned." 

"  Gentlemen,"  interrupted  Florimonde,  "  a  truce,  if  you  please, 
with  your  conquests  and  successes,  they  are  known  over  the  whole 
earth.  Apropos  of  Ismene.  It  is  said  that  the  nobleman  who  has 
fooled  away  so  much  money  upon  her  has  at  length  recovered  his 
senses."  "Yes  indeed,"  exclaimed  Constance;  "and  I  can  tell  you 
besides  that  she  has  lost,  by  the  same  stroke,  a  snug  little  hero  of 
the  counting-house,  whose  ruin  would  otherwise  have  been  signed 
and  sealed.  I  have  the  thing  from  the  first  hand.  Her  Mercury 
made  an  unfortunate  mistake,  for  he  carried  a  tender  invitation  to 
each,  and  delivered  them  wrong."    "  These  were  great  losses,  my 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  177 

darling,"  quoth  Florimonde.  "  Oh,  as  for  that  of  the  lord,"  replied 
Constance,  "it  is  a  very  trifling  matter.  The  man  of  blood  had 
almost  run  through  his  estate,  but  the  little  fellow  with  the  pen 
behind  his  ear  was  but  just  coming  into  play.  He  had  never  been 
fleeced  before,  it  is  a  pity  he  should  have  escaped  so  easily." 

Such  was  the  tenor  of  the  conversation  before  dinner,  and  it  was 
not  much  mended  in  its  morality  at  table.  As  I  should  never  have 
done  with  the  recital  of  all  their  ribaldry  and  nonsense,  the  reader 
will  excuse  the  omission,  and  pass  on  to  the  entrance  of  a  poor 
devil,  yclept  an  author,  who  called  just  before  the  cloth  was  taken 
away. 

Our  little  footboy  came,  and  said  to  my  mistress  in  an  audible 
voice,  "  Madam,  a  man  in  a  dirty  shirt,  splashed  up  to  his  middle, 
with  very  much  the  look  of  a  poet,  saving  your  presence,  wants  to 
speak  to  you."  "Let  him  walk  up,"  answered  Arsenia.  "Keep 
your  seats,  gentlemen,  it  is  only  an  author."  To  be  sure  so  it  was, 
one  whose  tragedy  had  been  accepted,  aivi  he  was  bringing  my  mis- 
tress her  part.  His  name  was  Pedro  de  Moya.  On  coming  into  the 
room  he  made  five  or  six  low  bows  to  the  company,  who  neither 
rose  nor  took  the  least  notice  of  him.  Arsenia  just  returned  his 
superabundant  civilities  with  a  slight  inclination  of  the  head.  He 
came  forward  with  tremor  and  embarrassment.  He  dropped  hi» 
gloves  and  let  his  hat  fall.  He  ventured  to  pick  them  up  again, 
then  advanced  towards  my  mistress,  and  presenting  to  her  a  paper 
with  more  ceremony  than  a  defendant  an  afiidavit  to  the  judge  of 
the  court :  "  Madam,"  said  he,  "  have  the  goodness  to  receive  under 
your  protection  the  part  I  take  the  liberty  of  offering  you."  She 
stretched  out  her  hand  for  it  with  cold  and  contemptuous  indifler- 
ence ;  nor  did  she  condescend  even  to  notice  the  compliment  by  a 
look. 

But  our  author  was  not  disheartened.  Seizing  this  opportunity 
to  distribute  the  cast,  he  gave  one  character  to  Kosimiro  and  another 
to  Florimonde,  who  treated  him  just  as  genteelly  as  Arsenia  had 
done.  On  the  contrary,  the  low  comedian,  a  very  pleasant  fellow, 
as  those  gentlemen  for  the  most  part  affect  to  be,  insulted  him  with 
the  most  cutting  sarcasms.  Pedro  de  Moya  was  not  made  of  stone. 
Yet  he  dared  not  take  up  the  aggressor,  lest  his  piece  should  suffer 
for  it.  He  withdrew  without  saying  a  word,  but  stung  to  the  quick, 
as  it  seemed  to  me,  by  his  reception.  He  could  not  fail,  in  the 
transports  of  his  anger,  mentally  to  apostrophize  the  players  as 
they  deserved :  and  the  players,  when  he  was  gone,  began  to  talk 
of  authors  in  return  with  infinite  deference  and  kindness.  "It 
should  seem,"  said  Florimonde,  "as  if  Signer  de  Moya  did  not  go 
away  very  well  pleased."  "  Well  1  madam,"  cried  Kosimiro,  "  and 
12 


178  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

why  should  you  trouble  yourself  about  that?  Afe  we  to  study  the 
feelings  of  authors  ?  If  we  were  to  admit  them  upon  equal  terms, 
it  would  only  be  the  way  to  spoil  them.  I  know  that  contemptible 
squad ;  I  know  them  of  old  :  they  would  soon  forget  their  distance. 
There  is  no  dealing  with  them  but  as  slaves ;  and  as  for  tiring  their 
patience,  never  fear  that.  Though  they  may  take  themselves  off  in 
a  pet  sometimes,  the  itch  of  writing  brings  them  back  again ;  and 
they  are  raised  to  the  third  heaven,  if  we  will  but  condescend  to 
support  their  pieces."  "You  are  right,"  said  Arsenia;  "we  never 
lose  an  author  till  we  have  made  his  fortune.  When  that  is  done, 
as  soon  as  we  have  provided  for  the  ungrateful  devils,  they  get  to 
be  in  good  case,  and  then  they  run  restive.  Luckily,  the  manager 
does  not  break  his  heart  after  them,  and  one  is  just  as  good  as 
another  to  the  public." 

These  liberal  and  sagacious  remarks  met  with  their  full  share  of 
approbation.  It  was  carried  unanimously  that  authors,  though 
treated  rather  too  scurvily  behind  the  scenes,  were  on  the  whole  the 
obliged  persons.  These  fretters  of  an  hour  upon  the  stage  ranked 
the  inhabitant  of  Parnassus  below  themselves;  and  malice  could 
not  degrade  him  lower. 


CHAPTER    XII. 

GIL  BLAS  ACQUIRES  A  BELISH  FOR  THE  THEATRE,  AND  TAKES  A  FULL 
SWING  OF  ITS  PLEASURES,  BUT  SOON  BECOMES  DISGUSTED. 

THE  party  sat  at  the  table  till  it  was  time  to  go  to  the  theatre. 
I  went  after  them,  and  saw  the  play  again  that  evening.  I 
took  such  delight  in  it,  that  I  was  for  attending  every  day.  I  never 
missed,  and  by  degrees  got  accustomed  to  the  actors.  Such  is  the 
force  of  habit.  I  was  particularly  delighted  with  those  who  were 
most  artificial  and  unnatural ;  nor  was  I  singular  in  my  taste.  The 
beauties  of  composition  affected  me  much  on  the  same  principle  as 
the  excellence  of  rej^resentation.  There  were  some  pieces  with 
which  I  was  enraptured.  I  liked,  among  others,  those  which 
brought  all  the  cardinals  or  the  twelve  peers  of  France  upon  the 
stage.  I  got  hold  of  striking  passages  in  these  incomparable  per- 
formances. I  recollect  that  in  two  days  I  learned  by  heart  a  whole 
play,  called  "The  Queen  of  Flowers."  The  Rose,  who  wixs  the 
queen,  had  the  Violet  for  her  maid  of  honor,  and  the  Jessamine  for 
her  prime  minister.    I  could  conceive  nothing  more  elegant  or  re- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  179 

fined :  such  productions  seemed  to  be  the  triumph  of  our  Spanish 
wit  and  invention, 

I  was  not  content  to  store  my  memory  and  discipline  my  mind 
with  the  choicest  selections  from  these  dramatic  masterpieces  ;  but 
I  was  bent  on  polishing  my  taste  to  the  highest  perfection.  To 
secure  this  grand  object,  I  listened  with  greedy  ears  to  every  word 
which  fell  from  the  lips  of  the  players.  If  they  commended  a  piece, 
I  was  ravished  by  it :  but  suppose  they  pronounced  it  bad  ?  why 
then  I  maintained  that  it  was  infernal  stujQf.  I  conceived  that  they 
must  determine  the  merits  of  a  play,  as  a  jeweller  the  water  of  a 
diamond.  And  yet  the  tragedy  by  Pedro  de  Moya  was  eminently 
successful,  though  they  had  predicted  its  entire  miscarriage.  This, 
however,  was  no  disparagement  of  their  critical  skill  in  my  estima- 
tion ;  and  I  had  rather  believe  the  audience  to  be  divested  of  com- 
mon sense,  than  doubt  the  infallibility  of  the  company.  But  they 
assured  me  on  all  hands,  that  their  judgments  were  usually  con- 
firmed by  the  rule  of  contraries.  It  seemed  to  be  a  maxim  with 
them,  to  set  their  faces  point-blank  against  the  taste  of  the  public; 
and  as  a  proof  of  this,  there  were  a  thousand  cases  in  point  of  unex- 
pected successes  and  failures.  All  these  testimonies  were  scarcely 
sufficient  to  undeceive  me. 

I  shall  never  forget  what  happened  one  day  at  the  first  represen- 
tation of  a  new  comedy.  The  performers  had  pronounced  it  unin- 
teresting and  tedious  ;  they  had  even  prophesied  that  it  would  not 
be  heard  to  the  end.  Under  this  impression,  they  got  through  the 
first  act,  which  was  loudly  applauded.  This  was  very  astonishing  1 
They  played  the  second  act ;  the  audience  liked  it  still  better  than 
the  first.  The  actors  were  confounded.  "What  the  devil,"  said 
Rosimiro,  "  this  comedy  succeeds !"  At  last  they  went  on  in  the 
third  act,  which  rose  as  a  third  act  ought  to  rise.  "  I  am  quite 
thrown  upon  my  back,"  said  Ricardo ;  "  we  thought  this  piece  would 
not  be  relished ;  and  all  the  world  are  fnad  after  it."  "  Gentle- 
men," said  one  of  the  players  archly,  "  it  is  because  we  happened 
accidentally  to  overlook  all  the  wit." 

From  this  time  I  held  my  opinion  no  longer  of  the  players  as 
competent  judges,  and  began  to  appreciate  their  merit  more  truly 
than  they  had  estimated  that  of  the  aiithors.  All  the  lampoons 
which  were  current  about  them  were  fully  justified.  The  actors 
and  actresses  ran  riot  on  the  applause  of  the  town,  and  stood  so 
high  in  their  own  conceit,  as  to  think  that  they  conferred  a  favor  by 
appearing  on  the  boards.  I  was  shocked  at  their  public  miscon- 
duct; but  unfortunately  reconciled  myself  too  easily  to  their  private 
manners,  and  plunged  into  debauchery.  How  could  I  do  otherwise? 
Every  word  they  uttered  was  poison  in  the  ears  of  youth,  and  every 


180  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

scene  tbat  was  presented,  an  alluring  picture  of  corruption.  Had  I 
been  a  stranger  to  what  passed  with  Casilda,  with  Constance,  and 
•with  the  other  actresses,  Arsenia's  house  alone  would  have  been 
sufficient  for  my  ruin.  Besides  the  old  noblemen  of  whom  I  have 
spoken,  there  came  thither  young  debauchees  of  fashion,  who  fore- 
stalled their  inheritances  by  the  disinterested  mediation  of  money- 
lenders ;  and  sometimes  we  had  officers  under  government,  who 
were  so  far  from  receiving  fees,  as  at  their  public  boards,  that  they 
paid  most  exorbitant  ones  for  the  privilege  of  mixing  with,  such 
worshipful  society. 

Florimonde,  who  lived  next  door,  dined  and  supped  with  Arsenia 
every  day.  Their  long  intimacy  surprised  every  one.  Coquettes 
were  not  thought  usually  to  maintain  so  good  an  understanding  with 
each  other.  It  was  concluded  that  they  would  quarrel,  sooner  or 
later,  about  some  paramour ;  but  such  reasoners  could  not  see  into 
the  hearts  of  these  exemplary  friends.  They  were  united  in  the 
bonds  of  indissoluble  love.  Instead  of  harboring  jealousy,  like 
other  women,  they  had  everything  in  common.  They  had  rather 
divide  the  plunder  of  mankind,  than  childishly  fall  out,  and  con- 
tend for  trumpery,  as  hearts  and  affections. 

Laura,  after  the  example  of  these  two  illustrious  partners,  turned 
the  fresh  season  of  youth  to  the  best  advantage.  She  had  told  me 
that  I  should  see  strange  doings.  And  yet  I  did  not  take  up  the 
jealous  part.  I  had  promised  to  adopt  the  principles  of  the  com- 
pany on  th^t  score.  For  some  days  I  kept  my  thoughts  to  myself. 
I  only  just  took  the  liberty  of  asking  her  the  names  of  the  men 
whom  she  favored  with  her  private  ear.  She  always  told  me  that  they 
were  uncles  or  cousins.  From  what  a  prolific  family  was  she  sprung  1 
King  Priam  had  no  luck  in  propagation,  compared  with  her  ances- 
tors. Nor  did  this  precious  abigail  confine  herself  to  her  uncles  and 
cousins :  she  went  now  and  then  to  lay  a  trap  for  unwary  aliens,  and 
personate  the  widow  of  quality  under  the  auspices  of  the  discreet 
old  dowager  above  mentioned.  In  short,  Laura,  to  hit  off  her  char- 
acter exactly,  was  just  as  young,  just  as  pretty,  and  just  as  loose  as 
her  mistress,  who  had  no  other  advantage  over  her  than  that  of 
figuring  in  a  more  public  capacity. 

I  was  borne  down  by  the  torrent  for  three  weeks,  and  ran  the 
career  of  dissipation  in  my  turn.  But  I  must  at  the  same  time  say 
for  myself,  that  in  the  midst  of  pleasure  I  frequently  felt  the  still 
small  voice  of  conscience,  arising  from  the  impression  of  a  serious 
education,  which  mixed  gall  in  the  Circean  cup.  Eiot  could  not 
altogether  get  the  better  of  remorse  :  on  the  contrary,  the  pangs  of 
the  last  grew  keener  with  the  more  shameless  indulgence  of  the  first; 
and,  by  a  happy  effect  of  my  temperament,  the  disorders  of  a  theat- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


181 


rical  life  began  to  make  me  shudder.  "Ah I  wretch,"  said  I  to 
myself,  "is  it  thus  that  you  make  good  the  hopes  of  your  family? 
Is  it  not  enough  to  have  thwarted  tlieir  pious  intentions,  by  not  fol- 
lowing your  destined  course  of  life  as  an  instructor  of  youth?  Need 
your  condition  of  a  servant  hinder  you  from  living  decently  and 
soberly?  Are  such  monsters  of  iniquity  fit  companions  for  you? 
Envy,  hatred,  and  avarice  are  predominant  here  ;  intemperance  and 
idleness  have  purchased  the  fee-simple  there ;  the  pride  of  some  is 
aggravated  into  the  most  barefaced  impudence,  and  modesty  is 
turned  out  of  doors,  by  the  common  consent  of  all.  The  business 
is  settled :  I  will  not  live  any  longer  with  the  seven  deadly  sins." 


182  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


BOOK   IV 


CHAPTEE   I. 

GIL  BLAS,  NOT  BEING  ABLE  TO  RECONCILE  HIMSELF  TO  THE  MORAM 
OF  THE  ACTRESSES,  QUITS  AESENIA,  AND  GETS  INTO  A  MORE  RB- 
PUTABLB  SEBVICB. 

A  SURVIVING  spark  of  honor  and  of  religion,  in  the  midst  of 
SO  general  depravity,  made  me  resolve  not  only  to  leave  Ar- 
senia,  but  even  to  abjure  all  commerce  with  Laura,  whom  yet  I 
could  not  cease  to  love,  though  I  was  well  aware  of  her  daily  incon- 
stancy. Happy  the  man  who  can  thus  profit  by  those  appeals  which 
occasionally  interrupt  the  headlong  course  of  his  pleasures  I  One 
fine  morning,  I  made  up  my  bundle,  and,  without  reckoning  with 
Arseuia,  who  indeed  owed  me  next  to  nothing,  without  taking  leave 
of  my  dear  Laura,  I  burst  from  that  mansion,  which  smelt  of  brim- 
stone and  fire  reserved  for  the  wicked.  I  had  no  sooner  taken  so 
virtuous  a  step,  than  providence  interfered  in  my  behalf.  I  met  the 
steward  of  my  late  master,  Don  Matthias,  and  greeted  him ;  he  knew 
me  again  at  once,  and  stopped  to  inquire  where  I  lived.  I  answered 
that  I  had  just  left  my  place ;  that  after  staying  near  a  month  with 
Arsenia,  whose  manners  did  not  at  all  suit  me,  I  was  come  aw^y  by 
a  sudden  impulse  of  virtue,  to  save  my  innocence.  The  steward, 
just  as  if  he  had  been  himself  of  a  religious  cast,  commended  my 
scruples,  and  offered  me  a  place  much  to  my  advantage,  since  I  was 
so  chaste  and  honest  a  youth.  He  kept  his  word,  and  introduced 
me,  on  that  very  day,  into  the  family  of  Don  Vincent  de  Gusman, 
with  whose  agent  he  was  acquainted. 

I  could  not  have  got  into  a  better  service ;  nor  did  I  repent  in  the 
sequel  of  having  accepted  the  situation.  Don  Vincent  was  a  very 
rich  old  nobleman,  who  had  lived  many  years  unincumbered  with 
lawsuits  or  with  a  wife.  The  physicians  had  removed  the  last  plague 
out  of  the  way,  in  their  attempts  to  rid  her  of  a  cough,  which  might 
have  lasted  a  great  while  longer,  if  the  remedies  had  not  been  more 
fatal  than  the  disease.  Far  from  thinking  of  the  holy  state  a  second 
time,  he  gave  himself  up  entirely  to  the  education  of  his  only 
daughter  Aurora,  who  was  then  entering  her  twenty-sixth  year,  and 
might  pass  for  an  accomplished  person.  With  beauty  above  the 
common,  she  had  an  excellent  and  highly-cultivated  understanding. 
Her  father  was  a  poor  creature  as  to  intellect,  but  he  possessed  the 


^ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  188 

happy  talent  of  looking  well  after  his  affairs.  One  fault  he  had,  of 
a  kind  excusable  in  old  men :  he  was  an  incessant  talker,  especially 
about  war  and  fighting.  If  that  string  was  unfortunately  touched  in 
his  presence,  in  a  moment  he  blew  his  heroic  trumpet,  and  his  hear* 
ers  might  think  themselves  lucky  if  they  compounded  for  a  gazette 
extraordinary  of  two  sieges  and  three  battles.  As  he  had  spent  two- 
thirds  of  his  life  in  the  service,  his  memory  was  an  inexhaustible 
depot  of  various  facts ;  but  the  patience  of  the  listeners  did  not  always 
keep  pace  with  the  perseverance  of  the  relater.  The  stories,  sufii' 
ciently  prolix  themselves,  were  still  further  spun  out  by  stuttering, 
so  that  the  manner  was  still  less  happy  than  the  matter.  In  all  other 
respects,  I  never  met  with  a  nobleman  of  a  more  amiable  character; 
his  temper  was  even ;  he  was  neither  obstinate  nor  capricious ;  the 
general  alternative  of  men  in  the  higher  ranks  of  life.  Though  a 
good  economist,  he  lived  like  a  gentleman.  His  establishment  was 
composed  of  several  men  servants,  and  three  women  in  waiting  on 
Aurora.  I  soon  discovered  that  the  steward  of  Don  Matthias  had 
procured  me  a  good  post,  and  my  only  anxiety  was  to  establish  my- 
self firmly  in  it.  I  took  all  possible  pains  to  feel  the  ground  under 
my  feet,  and  to  study  the  characters  of  the  whole  household :  then 
regulating  my  conduct  by  my  discoveries,  I  was  not  long  in  ingrati- 
ating myself  with  my  master  and  all  the  servants. 

I  had  been  with  Don  Vincent  above  a  month,  when  it  struck  me 
that  his  daughter  yvas  very  particular  in  her  notice  of  me  above  all 
the  servants  in  the  family.  Whenever  her  eyes  happened  accident- 
ally to  jneet  mine,  they  seemed  to  be  suffused  with  a  certain  partial 
complacency,  which  did  not  enter  into  her  silent  communications 
with  the  vulgar.  Had  it  not  been  for  my  haunts  among  the  cox- 
combs of  the  theatrical  tribe  and  their  hangers-on,  it  would  never 
have  entered  into  my  head  that  Aurora  should  throw  away  a  thought 
on  me ;  but  my  brain  had  been  a  little  turned  among  those  gentry, 
from  whose  libertine  suspicions  ladies  of  the  noblest  birth  are  not 
always  held  sacred.  "  If,"  said  I,  "those  chronicles  of  the. age  are 
to  be  believed,  fancy  and  high  blood  lead  women  of  quality  a  dance, 
in  which  they  sometimes  join  hands  with  unequal  partners :  how  do 
I  know  but  my  young  mistress  may  caper  to  a  tune  of  my  piping? 
But  no ;  it  cannot  be  so,  neither.  This  is  not  one  of  your  Messalinas, 
who,  derogating  from  the  loftiness  of  ancestry,  unworthily  let  down 
their  regards  to  the  dust,  and  sully  their  pure  honor  without  a  blush  ; 
but  rather  one  of  those  virtuously  apprehensive,  yet  tender-hearted 
girls,  who  encircle  their  softness  within  the  insurmountable  pale  of 
delicacy ;  yet  think  it  no  tampering  with  chastity,  to  inspire  and 
cherish  a  sentimental  flame,  interesting  to  the  heart  without  being 
dangerous  to  the  morals." 


184  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  , 

Such  were  my  ideas  of  my  mistress,  without  knowing  exactly 
whether  they  were  right  or  wrong.  And  yet,  when  we  met,  she  was 
continually  caught  with  a  smile  of  satisfaction  on  her  countenance. 
Without  passing  for  a  fop,  a  man  might  give  in  to  such  flattering 
appearances;  and  a  philosophical  apathy  was  not  to  be  expected 
from  me.  I  conceived  Aurora  to  have  been  deeply  smitten  with  my 
irresistible  attractions,  and  looked  on  myself  henceforth  in  the  light 
of  a  favored  attendant,  whose  servitude  was  to  be  sweetened  by  the 
balmy  infusion  of  love.  To  appear  in  some  measure  less  unworthy 
of  the  blessings  which  propitious  fortune  had  kept  in  store  for  me, 
I  began  to  take  better  care  of  my  person  than  I  had  done  heretofore. 
I  laid  out  my  slender  stock  of  money  in  linen,  pomatums,  and 
essences.  The  first  thing  in  the  morning  was  to  prank  up  and  per* 
fiime  myself,  so  as  not  to  be  in  an  undress  in  case  of  being  sent  for 
into  the  presence  of  my  mistress.  With  these  attentions  to  personal 
elegance  and  other  dexterous  strokes  in  the  art  of  pleasing,  I  flat- 
tered myself  that  the  moment  of  my  bliss  was  not  very  distant. 

Among  Aurora's  women  there  was  one  who  went  by  the  name  of 
Ortiz.  This  was  an  old  dowager,  who  had  been  a  fixture  in  Don 
Vincent's  family  for  more  than  twenty  years.  She  had  been  about 
his  daughter  from  her  childhood,  and  still  held  the  oflace  of  duenna ; 
but  she  no  longer  performed  the  invidious  part  of  the  duty.  On  the 
contrary,  instead  of  blazoning,  as  formerly,  Aurora's  little  indiscre- 
tions, her  skill  was  now  employed  in  throwing  them  into  shade. 
One  evening.  Dame  Ortiz,  having  watched  her  opportunity  of  speak- 
ing to  me  without  observation,  said,  in  a  low  voice,  that  if  1  was 
close  and  trustworthy,  I  had  only  to  be  in  the  garden  at  midnight, 
when  a  scene  would  be  laid  open  in  which  I  should  not  be  sorry  to 
be  an  actor.  I  answered  the  duenna,  pressing  her  hand  signifi- 
cantly, that  1  would  not  fail,  and  we  parted  in  a  hurry  for  fear  of 
surprise.  How  the  hours  lagged  from  this  moment  till  supper  time, 
though  we  supped  very  early!  Then  again,  from  supper  to  my 
master's  bed-time  1  It  seemed  as  if  the  march  of  the  whole  family 
was  timed  to  a  largo  movement.  By  way  of  helping  forward  the 
fidgets,  when  Don  Vincent  withdrew  to  his  chamber,  the  army  was 
put  on  the  war  establishment,  and  we  were  obliged  to  fight  the  cam- 
paigns in  Portugal  over  again,  though  my  ears  had  not  recovered 
from  the  din  of  the  last  cannonade.  But  a  favor  from  which  I  had 
hitherto  made  my  escape  was  reserved  for  this  eventful  evening. 
He  repeated  the  army  list  from  beginning  to  end,  with  copious 
digressions  on  the  exploits  of  those  officers  who  had  distinguished 
themselves  in  his  time.  O,  my  poor  tympanum !  It  was  almost 
cracked  before  we  got  to  the  end.  Time,  however,  will  wear  out 
even  an  old  man's  story,  and  he  went  to  bed.     I  immediately  went 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  185 

to  my  own  little  chamber,  whence  there  was  a  way  into  the  garden 
by  a  private  staircase.  I  depended  on  my  purchase  of  perfumery 
for  overcoming  the  effluvia  of  the  day's  drudgery,  and  put  on  a 
clean  shirt  highly  scented.  When  every  invention  had  been  pressed 
into  the  service  to  render  my  person  worthy  of  its  destiny,  and 
cherish  the  fondness  of  my  mistress,  I  went  to  the  appointment. 

Ortiz  was  not  there.  I  concluded  that,  tired  of  waiting  for  me, 
she  had  gone  back  to  her  chamber,  and  that  the  happy  moment  of 
philandering  was  over.  I  laid  all  the  blame  on  Don  Vincent ;  but 
just  as  I  was  singing  Te  Deum  backwards  for  his  campaigns,  I  heard 
the  clock  strike  ten.  To  be  sure  it  must  be  wrong !  It  could  not 
be  less  than  one  o'clock.  Yet  I  was  so  egregiously  out  in  my  reck- 
oning, that  full  a  quarter  of  an  hour  afterwards,  I  counted  ten  upon 
my  fingers  by  the  clock  at  next  door.  "  Vastly  well,"  thought  I  to 
myself,  "  I  have  only  two  complete  hours  to  ventilate  my  passion 
here  al  fresco.  At  least  they  shall  not  complain  of  me  for  want  of 
punctuality.  What  shall  I  do  with  myself  till  twelve?  Suppose  I 
take  a  turn  about  thjs  garden  and  settle  our  cues  in  the  delicious 
drama  just  going  to  be  brought  on  the  stage ;  it  is  my  first  appear- 
ance in  so  principal  a  character.  I  am  not  yet  sufficiently  well  read 
in  the  crotchets  of  your  quality  dames.  I  know  how  to  tickle  a  girl 
in  a  stuff  gown,  or  an  actress :  you  swagger  up  to  them  with  an 
easy,  impudent  assurance,  and  pop  the  question  without  making 
any  bones  of  it.  But  one  must  take  a  female  of  condition  on  a  very 
different  tack.  It  seems  to  me  that  in  this  case  the  happy  swain 
must  be  well  bred,  attentive,  tender,  respectful,  without  degener- 
ating into  bashfulness.  Instead  of  taking  his  happiness  by  storm, 
he  must  plant  his  amorous  desires  in  ambuscade,  and  wait  till  the 
garrison  is  asleep,  and  the  outworks  defenceless." 

Thus  it  was  that  I  argued,  and  such  were  the  preconcerted  plans 
of  my  campaign  with  Aurora.  After  a  few  tedious  minutes,  accord- 
ing to  my  calculation,  I  was  to  experience  the  ecstasy  of  finding 
myself  at  the  feet  of  that  lovely  creature,  and  pouring  forth  a  tor- 
rent of  impassioned  nonsense.  I  scraped  together  in  my  memory 
all  the  clap-traps  in  our  stock-plays  which  were  most  successful 
with  the  audience,  and  might  best  set  off  my  pretensions  to  spirit 
and  gallantry.  I  trusted  to  ray  own  adroitness  for  the  application, 
and  hoped,  after  the  example  of  some  players  in  the  list  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, bringing  only  a  stock  of  memory  into  the  trade,  to  deal 
upon  credit  for  my  wit.  While  my  imagination  was  engrossed  by 
these  thoughts,  which  kept  my  impatience  at  bay  much  more  suc- 
cessfully than  the  commentaries  of  my  modern  Caesar,  I  heard  the 
clock  strike  eleven.  This  was  some  encouragement,  and  I  fell  back 
to  my  meditations,  sometimes  sauntering  carelessly  about,  and  some- 


186  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

times  throwing  myself  at  my  length  on  the  turf,  in  a  bower  at  the 
bottom  of  the  garden.  At  length  it  struck  twelve,  the  long-expected 
hour,  big  with  my  high  destiny.  Some  seconds  after,  Ortiz,  as 
punctual  as  myself,  though  less  impatient,  made  her  appearance. 
"  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  said  she  accosting  me,  "  how  long  have  you  been 
here  ?"  "  Two  hours,"  answered  I.  "  Indeed !  Truly,"  replied  she, 
laughing,  "  you  are  very  exact ;  there  is  a  pleasure  in  making  noc- 
turnal assignations  with  you.  Yet  you  may  assure  yourself,"  con- 
tinued she,  more  gravely,  "  that  you  cannot  pay  too  dear  for  such 
good  fortune  as  that  of  which  I  am  the  messenger.  My  mistress 
wants  to  have  some  private  talk  with  you.  I  shall  not  anticipate 
what  may  be  the  subject :  that  is  a  secret  which  you  must  learn  from 
no  lips  but  her  own.  Follow  me ;  I  will  show  you  into  her  cham- 
ber." With  these  words  the  duenna  took  me  by  the  hand,  and  led 
me  mysteriously  into  her  lady's  apartment  through  a  little  door,  of 
which  she  had  the  key. 


CHAPTER   II. 

ATTROKA'S  BECEPTION  of  GIL  BLAS.     THEIE  COKVEESATIOK. 

I  FOUND  Aurora  in  an  undress.  I  saluted  her  in  the  most  re- 
spectful manner,  and  threw  as  much  elegance  into  my  attitude 
as  I  had  to  throw.  She  received  me  with  the  most  winning  affability, 
made  me  sit  down  by  her,  against  all  my  remonstrances,  and  told 
her  ambassador  to  go  into  another  room.  After  this  opening,  which 
seemed  highly  encouraging  to  my  cause,  she  entered  upon  the  basi- 
ness.  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  she,  "  you  must  have  perceived  how  favor- 
ably I  have  regarded  and  distinguished  you  from  all  the  rest  of  my 
father's  servants ;  and,  though  my  looks  had  not  betrayed  my  partial 
dispositions  towards  you,  my  proceeding  of  this  night  would  leave 
you  no  room  to  doubt  them." 

I  did  not  give  her  time  to  say  a  word  more.  It  struck  me  that, 
as  a  man  of  feeling,  I  ought  to  spare  her  trembling  diffidence  tlie 
cruel  necessity  of  explaining  her  sentiments  in  more  direct  terms. 
I  rose  from  my  chair  in  a  transport,  and,  throwing  myself  at  Aurora's 
feet,  like  a  tragedy  hero  of  the  Grecian  stage,  when  he  supplicates 
the  heroine  "by  her  knees,"  exclaimed  in  a  declamatory  tone,  "Ah! 
madam,  could  it  be  possible  that  Gil  Bias,  hitherto  the  whirligig  of 
fortune,  and  football  of  embattled  nature,  should  have  called  down 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  187 

upon  his  head  the  exquisite  felicity  of  inspiring  sentiments."  .  .  . 
"  Do  not  speak  so  loud,"  interrupted  my  mistress  with  a  laugh  of 
mingled  apprehension  and  ridicule,  "  you  will  wake  my  women  who 
sleep  in  the  adjoining  chamber.  Get  up,  take  your  seat,  and  hear 
me  out  without  putting  in  a  word.  Yes,  Gil  Bias,"  pursued  she, 
resuming  her  gravity,  "  you  have  my  best  wishes  ;  and  to  show  you 
how  deep  you  are  in  my  good  graces,  I  will  confide  to  you  a  secret 
on  which  depends  the  repose  of  my  life.  I  am  in  love  with  a  young 
gentleman,  possessing  every  charm  of  person  and  face,  and  noble  by 
birth.  His  name  is  Don  Lewis  Pacheco.  I  have  seen  him  occa- 
sionally in  the  public  walks  and  at  the  theatre,  but  I  have  never 
conversed  with  him.  I  do  not  even  know  what  his  private  character 
may  be,  or  what  bad  qualities  he  may  have.  It  is  on  this  subject 
that  I  wish  to  be  informed.  I  stand  in  need  of  a  person  to  inquire 
diligently  into  hia  morals,  and  give  me  a  true  and  particular  account. 
I  make  choice  of  you.  Surely  I  run  no  risk  in  entrusting  you  with 
this  commission.  I  hope  that  you  will  acquit  youKself  with  dex- 
terity and  prudence,  and  that  I  shall  never  repent  of  giving  you 
my  confidence."  , 

My  mistress  concluded  thus,  and  waited  for  my  answer  to  her 
proposal.  I  had  been  disconcerted  in  the  first  instance  at  so  dis- 
agreeable a  mistake ;  but  I  soon  recovered  my  scattered  senses,  and 
surmounting  the  confusion  which  rashness  always  occasions  when  it 
is  unlucky,  I  exposed  to  sale  such  a  cargo  of  zeal  for  the  lady's 
interests,  I  devoted  myself  with  so  martyr-like  an  enthusiasm  to  her 
service,  that  if  she  did  not  absolutely  forget  my  silly  vanity  in  the 
thought  of  having  pleased  her,  at  least  she  had  reason  to  believe 
that  I  knew  how  to  make  amends  for  a  piece  of  folly.  I  asked  only 
two  days  to  bring  her  a  satisfactory  account  of  Don  Lewis.  After 
this,  Dame  Ortiz,  answering  the  bell,  showed  me  the  way  back  into 
the  garden,  and  said,  on  taking  leave,  "  Good-night,  Gil  Bias,  I 
need  not  caution  you  to  be  in  time  at  the  next  appointment.  I 
have  sufficient  experience  of  your  punctuality  on  these  occasions." 

I  returned  to  my  chamber,  not  without  some  little  mortification 
at  finding  my  voluptuous  anticipations  all  divested  of  even  their 
ideal  sweetness.  I  was  nevertheless  sufficiently  in  my  senses  to 
reflect  soberly  that  it  was  more  in  my  element  to  be  the  trusty  scout 
of  my  mistress  than  her  lover  I  even  thought  that  this  adventure 
might  lead  to  something  further ;  that  the  middle  men  in  the  trade 
of  love  usually  pocket  a  tolerable  per  centage;  and  went  to  bed  with 
the  resolution  of  doing  whatever  Aurora  required  of  me.  For  this 
purpose  I  went  abroad  the  next  morning.  The  residence  of  so  dis- 
tinguished a  personage  as  Don  Lewis  was  not  difficult  to  find  out. 
I  made  my  inquiries  about  him  in  the  neighborhood,  but  the  people 


188  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

who  came  in  my  way  could  not  satisfy  my  curiosity  to  the  full,  so 
that  it  was  necessary  to  resume  my  search  diligently  on  the  follow- 
ing day.  I  was  in  better  luck.  I  met  a  lad  of  my  acquaintance  by 
chance  in  the  street ;  we  stopped  for  a  little  gossip.  There  passed  by 
in  the  very  nick  one  of  his  friends,  who  came  up  and  told  him  that 
he  was  just  turned  away  from  the  family  of  Don  Joseph  Pacheco, 
Don  Lewis's  father,  about  a  paltry  remnant  of  wine,  which  he  had 
been  accused  of  drinking.  I  would  not  lose  so  fair  an  occasion  of 
learning  all  I  wanted  to  know,  and  plied  my  questions  so  success- 
fully as  to  go  home  with  much  self-complacency  at  my  punctual 
performance  of  my  engagements  with  my  mistress.  It  was  on  the 
coming  night  that  I  was  to  see  her  again  at  the  same  hour,  and  in 
the  same  manner  as  the  first  time.  I  was  not  in  such  a  confounded 
hurry  this  evening.  Far  from  writhing  with  impatience  under  the 
prolixity  of  my  old  commander,  I  led  him  on  to  the  charge.  I 
waited  for  midnight  with  the  greatest  indifference  in  the  world,  and 
it  was  not  till  all  the  clocks  within  ear-shot  had  struck  that  I  crept 
down  into  the  garden,  without  any  nonsense  of  pomatum  and  per- 
fumery.   That  foppery  was  completely  cured. 

At  the  place  of  meeting  I  found  the  very  faithful  duenna,  who 
sneeringly  reproached  me  with  a  defalcation  in  my  zeal.  I  made 
her  no  answer,  but  suffered  myself  to  be  conducted  into  Aurora's 
chamber.  She  asked  me,  as  soon  as  I  made  my  appearance,  whether 
I  had  gained  any  intelligence  of  Don  Lewis.  "  Yes,  madam,"  said 
I,  "  and  you  shall  have  the  sum  total  in  two  words.  I  must  first 
tell  you,  that  he  will  soon  set  out  for  Salamanca,  to  finish  his 
studies.  The  young  gentleman  is  brimful  of  honor  and  probity. 
As  for  the  valor,  he  cannot  be  deficient  there,  since  he  is  a  man  of 
birth  and  a  Castilian.  Besides  this,  he  has  an  infinite  deal  of  wit, 
and  is  very  agreeable  in  his  manners ;  but  there  is  one  thing  which 
can  scarcely  be  to  your  liking.  He  is  pretty  much  in  the  fashion 
of  our  young  nobility  here  at  court — exemplarily  catholic  in  his  de- 
votions to  the  fair.  Have  you  not  heard  that  at  his  age  he  haa 
already  been  tenant-at-will  to  two  actresses  ?"  "  What  is  it  you 
tell  me?"  replied  Aurora.  "  "What  shocking  conduct  1  But  do  you 
know  for  certain,  Gil  Bias,  that  he  leads  so  dissolute  a  life  ?"  "  O I 
there  is  no  doubt  of  it,  madam,"  rejoined  I.  "A  servant,  turned 
off  this  morning,  told  me  so,  and  servants  are  very  plain  dealers 
when  the  failings  of  their  masters  are  the  topic.  Besides,  he  keeps 
company  with  Don  Alexo  Segiar,  Don  Antonio  Centclles,  and  Don 
Fernando  de  Gamboa ;  that  single  circumstance  proves  his  liber- 
tinism with  all  the  force  of  demonstration."  "It  is  enough,  Gil 
Bias,"  said  my  mistress  with  a  sigh ;  "  on  your  report  I  am  deter- 
mined to  struggle  with   my  unworthy  passion.     Though   it  has 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  189 

already  struck  deep  root  in  my  heart,  I  do  not  despair  of  tearing 
it  forcibly  from  its  bed.  Go,"  added  she,  putting  into  my  hands  a 
small  purse,  none  of  the  lightest,  "  take  this  for  your  pains.  Be- 
ware of  betraying  my  secret.  Consider  it  as  entrusted  to  your 
silence." 

I  assured  my  mistress  that  she  might  be  perfectly  easy  on  that 
score,  for  I  was  the  Harpocrates  of  confidential  servants.  After 
this  compliment  to  myself,.!  withdrew  with  no  small  eagerness  to 
investigate  the  contents  of  the  purse.  There  were  twenty  pistoles. 
It  struck  me  all  at  once  that  Aurora  would  surely  have  given  me 
more  had  I  been  the  bearer  of  pleasant  tidings,  since  she  paid  so 
handsomely  for  a  blank  in  the  lottery.  I  was  sorry  not  to  have 
adopted  the  policy  of  the  pleaders  in  the  courts,  who  sometimes 
paint  the  cheek  of  truth  when  her  natural  complexion  is  inclined 
to  be  cadaverous.  It  was  a  pity  to  have  stifled  an  amour  in  the 
birth  which  might  in  its  growth  have  been  so  profitable.  Yet  I  had 
the  comfort  of  finding  myself  reimbursed  the  expense  so  unseason- 
ably incurred  in  perfumery  and  washes. 


CHAPTER   III, 

A  GREAT  CHANGE  AT  DON  VINCENT'S.     ATJROEA'S  STRANGE  RESO- 
LUTION. 

IT  happened  soon  after  this  adventure  that  Signor  Don  Vincent 
fell  sick.  Independent  of  his  very  advanced  age,  the  symptoms 
of  his  disorder  appeared  in  so  formidable  a  shape  that  a  fatal  termi- 
nation was  but  too  probable.  From  the  beginning  of  his  illness  he 
was  attended  by  two  of  the  most  eminent  physicians  in  Madrid. 
One  was  Doctor  Andros,  and  the  other  Doctor  Oquetos.  They  con- 
sidered the  case  with  due  solemnity ;  and  both  agreed,  after  a  strict 
investigation,  that  the  humors  were  in  a  state  of  mutiny,  but  this 
was  the  only  thing  about  which  they  did  agree.  The  proper  prac- 
tice, said  Andros,  is  to  purge  the  humors,  though  raw,  with  all 
possible  expedition,  while  they  are  in  a  violent  agitation  of  flux 
and  reflux,  for  fear  of  their  fixing  upon  some  noble  part.  Oquetos 
maintained,  on  the  contrary,  that  we  must  wait  till  the  humors  were 
ripened  before  it  would  be  safe  to  go  upon  purgatives.  "  But  your 
method,"  replied  the  first  speaker,  "  is  directly  in  the  teeth  of  the 
rules  laid  down  by  the  prince  of  medicine.    Hippocrates  recom- 


190  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

mends  purging  in  the  most  burning  fever  from  the  very  first  attack, 
and  says  in  plain  terms  that  no  time  is  to  be  lost  in  purging  when 
the  humors  are  in  opyaafio^,  that  is  to  say,  in  a  state  of  fermenta- 
tion." "Ay!  there  is  your  mistake,"  replied  Oquetos.  "Hippo- 
crates by  the  word  opyaa/wc  does  not  mean  the  fermentation,  he 
means  rather  the  concoction  of  the  humors." 

Thereupon  our  doctors  got  heated.  One  quotes  the  Greek  text, 
and  cites  all  the  authors  who  have  explained  it  in  his  sense ;  the 
other,  trusting  to  a  Latin  translation,  takes  up  the  controversy  in  a 
still  more  positive  tone.  Which  of  the  two  to  believe?  Don  Vin- 
cent was  not  the  man  to  decide  that  question.  In  the  meantime, 
finding  himself  obliged  to  choose,  he  gave  his  confidence  to  the 
party  who  had  despatched  the  greatest  number  of  patients — I  mean 
the  elder  of  the  two.  Andros,  the  younger,  immediately  withdrew, 
not  without  flinging  out  a  few  satirical  taunts  at  his  senior  on  the 
opyaajioq.  Here,  then,  was  Oquetos  triumphant.  As  he  was  a  pro- 
fessor of  the  Sangrado  school,  he  began  by  bleeding  copiously, 
waiting  till  the  humors  were  ripened  before  he  went  upon  purga- 
tives. But  death,  fearing,  no  doubt,  lest  this  reserve  of  purgatives 
should  turn  the  fortunes  of  the  day,  got  the  start  of  the  concoction, 
and  secured  his  victory  over  my  master  by  a  coup  de  main.  Such 
was  the  final  close  of  Signor  Don  Vincent,  who  lost  his  life  because 
his  physician  did  not  know  Greek. 

Aurora,  having  buried  her  father  with  a  pomp  suited  to  the  dig- 
nity of  his  birth,  administered  to  his  effects.  Having  the  whole  ar- 
rangement of  everything  in  her  own  breast,  she  discharged  some  of 
the  servants  with  rewards  proportioned  to  their  services,  and  soon 
retired  to  her  castle  on  the  Tagus,  between  Sacedon  and  Buendia. 
I  was  among  the  number  of  those  whom  she  kept,  and  who  made 
part  of  her  country  establishment.  I  had  even  the  good  fortune  to 
become  a  principal  agent  in  the  plot.  In  spite  of  my  faithful  report 
on  the  subject  of  Don  Lewis,  she  still  harbored  a  partiality  for  that 
bewitching  young  fellow;  or  rather,  for  want  of  spirit  to  combat  her 
passion  in  the  first  instance,  she  surrendered  at  discretion.  There 
was  no  longer  any  need  of  taking  precautions  to  speak  with  me  in 
private.  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  she  with  a  sigh,  "  I  can  never  forget  Don 
Lewis.  Let  me  make  what  effort  I  will  to  banish  him  from  my 
thoughts,  he  is  present  to  them  without  intermission,  not  as  you 
have  described  him,  plunged  in  every  variety  of  licentious  riot,  but 
just  what  my  fancy  would  paint  him, — tender,  loving,  constant." 
She  betrayed  considerable  emotion  in  uttering  these  words,  and 
could  not  help  shedding  tears.  My  fountains  were  very  near  play- 
ing from  mere  sympathy.  There  was  no  better  way  of  paying  my 
court  than  by  appearing  sensibly  touched  at  her  distress.     "My 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  191 

friend,"  continued  she,  after  having  wiped  her  loving  eyes,  "  your 
nature  is  evidently  cast  in  a  benevolent  mould ;  and  I  am  so  well 
satisfied  with  your  zeal  that  it  shall  not  go  unrewarded.  Your  assist- 
ance, my  dear  Gil  Bias,  is  more  necessary  to  me  than  ever.  You 
must  be  made  acquainted  with  a  plan  which  engrosses  all  my 
thoughts,  though  it  will  appear  strangely  eccentric.  You  are  to 
know  that  I  mean  to  set  out  for  Salamanca  as  soon  as  possible. 
There,  my  design  is  to  assume  the  disguise  of  a  fashionable  young 
fellow,  and  to  make  acquaintance  with  Pacheco  under  the  name  of 
Don  Felix.  I  shall  endeavor  to  gain  his  confidence  and  friendship, 
and  lead  the  conversation  incidentally  to  the  subject  of  Aurora  de 
Guzman,  for  whose  cousin  I  shall  pass.  He  may  perhaps  express  a 
wish  to  see  her,  and  there  is  the  point  on  which  I  expect  the  interest 
to  turn.  We  will  have  two  apartments  in  Salamanca.  In  one  I 
shall  be  Don  Felix,  in  the  other,  Aurora ;  and  I  flatter  myself  that 
by  presenting  my  person  before  Don  Lewis,  sometimes  'under 
the  semblance  of  a  man,  sometimes  in  all  the  natural  and  artificial 
attractions  of  my  own  sex,  I  may  bring  him  by  little  and  little  to 
the  proposed  end  of  my  stratagem.  I  am  perfectly  aware  that  my 
project  is  extravagant  in  the  highest  degree,  but  my  passion  drives 
me  headlong ;  and  the  innocence  of  my  intentions  renders  me  insen- 
sible to  all  compunctious  feelings  of  virgin  apprehension  respecting 
so  hazardous  a  step." 

I  was  exactly  in  the  same  mind  with  Aurora  respecting  the  ex- 
travagance of  her  scheme.  Yet,  unreasonable  as  it  might  seem  to 
reflecting  persons  like  myself,  there  was  no  occasion  for  me  to  play 
the  schoolmaster.  On  the  contrary,  I  began  to  practice  all  the  arts 
of  a  thorough-bred  special  pleader,  and  undertook  to  magnify  this 
hair-brained  pursuit  into  a  piece  of  incomparable  wit  and  spirit, 
without  the  least  tincture  of  imprudence.  This  was  highly  gratify- 
ing to  my  mistress.  Lovers  like  to  have  their  rampant  fancies 
tickled.  We  no  longer  considered  this  rash  enterprise  in  any  other 
light  than  as  a  play,  of  which  the  characters  were  to  be  properly 
cast,  and  the  business  dramatically  arranged.  The  actors  were 
chosen  out  of  our  own  domestic  establishment,  and  the  parts  dis- 
tributed without  secret  jealousy  or  open  rupture,  but  then  we  were 
not  players  by  profession.  It  was  determined  that  Dame  Ortiz  should 
personate  Aurora's  aunt  under  the  name  of  Donna  Kimena  de  Guz- 
man, with  a  valet  and  waiting-maid  by  way  of  attendance ;  and  that 
Aurora,  with  the  swashing  outside  of  a  gay  spark,  was  to  take  me 
for  her  valet-de-chambre,  with  one  of  her  women  disguised  as  a 
page,  to  be  more  immediately  about  her  person.  The  drama  thus 
filled  up,  we  returned  to  Madrid,  where  we  understood  Don  Lewis 
still  to  be,  though  it  was  not  likely  to  be  long  till  his  departure  for 


192  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

Salamanca.  We  got  up  with  all  possible  haste  the  dresses  and  de- 
corations of  our  wild  comedy.  When  they  were  in  complete  order, 
my  mistress  had  them  packed  up  carefully,  that  they  might  come 
out  in  all  their  gloss  and  newness  on  the  rising  of  the  curtain. 
Then,  leaving  the  care  of  her  family  to  her  steward,  she  began  her 
journey  in  a  coach  drawn  by  four  mules,  and  travelled  towards  the 
kingdom  of  Leon  with  those  of  her  household  who  had  some  part  to 
play  in  the  piece. 

We  had  already  crossed  Old  Castile,  when  the  axletree  of  the 
coach  gave  way.  The  accident  happened  between  Avila  and  Villa- 
flor,  at  the  distance  of  three  or  four  hundred  yards  from  a  castle 
near  the  foot  of  a  mountain.  Night  was  coming  on,  and  the  measure 
of  our  troubles  seemed  to  be  heaped  up  and  overflowing.  But  there 
passed  accidentally  by  us  a  countryman,  by  whose  assistance  we  were 
relieved  from  our  difficulties.  He  acquainted  us  that  the  castle  yon- 
der belonged  to  Donna  Elvira,  widow  of  Don  Pedro  de  Penares ;  at 
the  same  time  giving  so  favorable  a  character  of  that  lady,  that  my 
mistress  sent  me  to  the  castle  with  a  request  of  a  night's  lodging. 
Elvira  did  not  disgrace  the  good  word  of  the  countryman.  She  re- 
ceived me  with  an  air  of  hospitality,  and  returned  such  an  answer  to 
my  compliment  as  I  wished  to  carry  back.  We  all  went  to  the 
castle,  whither  the  mules  dragged  the  carriage  with  considerable 
difficulty.  At  the  gate  we  met  the  widow  of  Don  Pedro,  who  came 
out  to  meet  my  mistress.  I  shall  pass  over  in  silence  the  reciprocal 
civilities  which  were  exchanged  on  this  occasion,  in  compliance 
with  the  usage  of  the  polite  world.  I  shall  only  say  th^t  Elvira  was 
a  lady  rather  advanced  in  years,  but  remarkably  well-bred,  with  an 
address  superior  to  that  of  most  women  in  doing  the  honors  of  her 
house.  She  led  Aurora  into  a  sumptuous  apartment,  where,  leaving 
her  to  rest  herself  for  a  short  time,  she  looked  after  everything  her- 
self, and  left  nothing  undone  which  could  in  the  least  contribute  to 
our  comfort.  Afterwards,  when  supper  was  ready,  she  ordered  it  to 
be  served  up  in  Aurora's  chamber,  where  they  sat  down  to  table 
together.  Don  Pedro's  widow  was  not  of  a  description  to  cast  a  slur 
on  her  own  hospitalities,  by  assuming  an  air  of  abstraction  or  sullen- 
ness.  Her  temper  was  gay,  and  her  conversation  lively  without 
levity;  for  her  ideas  were  dignified,  and  her  expressions  select. 
Nothing  could  exceed  her  wit,  accompanied  by  a  peculiarly  fine  turn 
of  thought.  Aurora  appeared  as  much  to  be  delighted  as  myself. 
They  became  sworn  friends,  and  mutually  engaged  in  a  regular  cor- 
respondence. As  our  carriage  could  not  be  repaired  till  the  follow- 
ing day,  and  we  should  have  encountered  some  perils  by  setting  out 
late  at  night,  it  was  determined  that  we  should  take  up  our  abode 
at  the  castle  till  the  damage  was  made  good.    All  the  arrangements 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  liLAS.  193 

were  in  the  first  style  of  elegance,  and  our  lodgings  were  corres- 
pondent to  the  magnificence  of  the  establishment  in  other  respects. 

The  day  after,  my  mistress  discovered  new  charms  in  Elvira's 
conversation.  They  dined  in  a  large  hall,  where  there  were  several 
pictures.  One  among  the  rest  was  distinguished  for  its  admirable 
execution,  but  the  subject  was  highly  tragic.  A  principal  figure 
was  a  man  of  superior  mien,  lying  lifeless  on  his  back,  and  bathed 
in  his  own  blood ;  yet  in  the  very  embraces  of  death  he  wore  a 
menacing  aspect.  At  a  little  distance  from  him  you  might  see  a 
young  lady  in  different  posture,  though  stretched  likewise  on  the 
ground.  She  had  a  sword  plunged  in  her  bosom,  and  was  giving 
up  her  last  sighs,  at  the  same  time  casting  her  dying  glances  at  a 
young  mart  who  seemed  to  suffer  a  mortal  pang  at  losing  her.  The 
painter  had  besides  charged  his  picture  with  a  figure  which  did  not 
escape  my  notice.  It  was  an  old  man  of  a  venerable  physiognomy, 
sensibly  touched  with  the  objects  which  struck  his  sight,  and  equally 
alive  with  the  young  man  to  the  impressions  of  the  melancholy 
scene.  It  might  be  said  that  these  images  of  blood  and  desolation 
affected  both  the  spectators  with  the  same  astonishment  and  grief, 
but  that  the  outward  demonstrations  of  their  inward  sentiments 
were  different.  The  old  man,  sunk  in  a  profound  melancholy, 
looked  as  if  he  was  bowed  down  to  the  ground ;  while  the  youth 
mingled  something  like  the  extravagance  of  despair  with  the  tears 
of  affliction.  All  these  circumstances  were  depicted  with  touches 
so  characteristic  and  affecting,  that  we  could  not  take  our  eyes  off 
the  performance.  My  mistress  desired  to  know  the  subject  of  the 
piece.  "Madam,"  said  Elvira,  "it  is  a  faithful  delineation  of  the 
misfortunes  sustained  by  my  family."  This  answer  excited  Aurora's 
curiosity,  and  she  testified  so  strong  a  desire  to  learn  the  particulars, 
that  the  widow  of  Don  Pedro  could  do  no  otherwise  than  promise 
her  the  satisfaction  she  desired.  This  promise,  made  before  Ortiz, 
her  two  fellow-servants,  and  myself,  rooted  us  to  the  spot  on  which 
we  were  listening  to  their  former  conversation.  My  mistress  would 
have  sent  us  away  ;  but  Elvira,  who  saw  plainly  that  we  were  dying 
with  eagerness  to  be  present  at  the  explanation  of  the  picture,  had 
the  goodness  to  desire  us  to  stay,  alleging  at  the  same  time  that  the 
story  she  had  to  relate  was  not  of  a  nature  to  enjoin  secrecy. 
After  a  moment's  reflection,  she  began  her  recital  to  the  following 
effect. 


S^g^ft^l^ 


13 


1^  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  FATAL  MAKKIAGE:  A  NOVEL. 

« 13  OGEE,  king  of  Sicily,  had  a  brother  and  sister.  His  brother, 
XV  by  name  Mainfroi,  rebelled  against  him,  and  kindled  a  war 
in  the  kingdom,  bloody  in  its  immediate  effects,  and  portentous  in 
ita  future  consequences.  But  it  was  his  fate  to  lose  two  battles,  and 
to  fall  into  the  king's  hands.  The  punishment  of  his  revolt  ex- 
tended no  farther  than  the  loss  of  liberty.  This  act  of  clemency 
served  only  to  make  Roger  pass  for  a  barbarian  in  the  estimation  of 
the  disaffected  party  among  his  subjects.  They  contended  that  he 
had  saved  his  brother's  life  only  to  wreak  his  vengeance  on  him  by 
tortures  the  more  merciless  because  protracted.  People  in  general, 
on  better  grounds,  transferred  the  blame  of  Mainfroi's  harsh  treat- 
ment while  in  prison  to  his  sister  Matilda.  That  princess  had,  in 
fact,  cherished  a  long-rooted  hatred  against  this  prince,  and  was 
indefatigable  in  her  persecutions  during  his  whole  life.  She  died 
in  a  very  short  time  after  him,  and  her  premature  fate  was  consid- 
ered as  the  retribution  of  a  just  providence,  for  her  disregard  of 
those  sentiments  implanted  by  nature  for  the  best  purposes. 

"Mainfroi  left  behind  him  two  sons.  They  were  yet  in  their 
childhood.  Roger  had  a  kind  of  lurking  desire  to  get  rid  of  them, 
under  the  apprehension  lest,  when  arrived  at  a  more  advanced  age, 
the  wish  of  avenging  their  father  might  hurry  them  to  the  revival 
of  a  faction  which  was  not  so  entirely  overthrown  as  to  be  incapa- 
ble of  originating  new  intrigues  in  the  state.  He  communicated 
his  purpose  to  the  senator  Leontio  Siffredi,  his  minister,  who  di- 
verted him  from  his  bloody  thoughts  by  undertaking  the  education 
of  Prince  EnriqueE,  the  eldest,  and  recommending  the  care  of  the 
younger,  by  name  Don  Pedro,  to  the  constable  of  Sicily,  as  a  trusty 
counsellor  and  loyal  servant,  Roger,  assured  that  his  nephews 
would  be  trained  up  by  these  two  men  in  principles  of  .due  submis- 
sion to  the  royal  authority,  gave  up  the  reins  of  guardianship  to 
their  control,  and  himself  took  charge  of  his  nieoe  Constance.  She 
was  of  the  same  age  with  Enriquez,  and  only  daughter  of  the 
princess  Matilda.  He  allowed  her  an  establishment  of  female 
attendants,  and  of  masters  in  every  branch  of  the  politer  studies, 
80  that  nothing  was  wanting,  either  to  her  instruction  or  her  state. 
"  Leontio  Siffredi  had  a  castle  at  the  distance  of  less  than  two 
leagues  from  Palermo,  in  a  spot  named  Belraonte.  There  it  was 
that  this  minister  exerted  all  his  talents  and  diligence  to  render 
Enriquez  worthy  of  one  day  ascending  the  throne  of  Sicily.     From 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  195 

the  first,  he  discovered  dispositions  so  amiable  in  that  prince,  that 
his  attachment  became  as  strong  as  if  he  had  no  child  of  his  own. 
He  had,  however,  two  daughters.  Blanche,  the  first-born,  one  year 
younger  than  the  prince,  was  armed  at  all  points  with  the  weapons 
of  a  most  perfect  beauty.  Her  sister  Portia  was  still  in  her  cradle. 
The  mother  had  died  in  child-bed  of  this  youngest.  Blanche  and 
Prince  Enriquez  conceived  a  reciprocal  affection  as  soon  as  they 
were  alive  to  the  influence  of  love ;  but  they  were  not  allowed  to 
improve  their  acquaintance  into  familiar  intercourse.  The  prince, 
nevertheless,  found  the  means  of  occasionally  eluding  the  prudential 
vigilance  of  his  guardian.  He  knew  sufficiently  well  how  to  avail 
himself  of  those  precious  moments,  and  prevailed  so  far  with  Siff- 
redi's  daughter,  as  to  gain  her  consent  to  the  execution  of  a  project 
which  he  meditated.  It  happened  precisely  at  this  time  that 
Leontio  was  obliged  by  the  king's  order  to  take  a  journey  into  one 
of  the  most  remote  provinces  in  the  island.  During  his  absence, 
Enriquez  got  an  opening  made  in  the  wall  of  his  apartment,  which 
led  into  Blanche's  chamber.  This  opening  was  concealed  by  a 
sliding  shutter,  so  exactly  corresponding  with  the  wainscot,  and  so 
closely  fitting  in  with  the  ceiling  and  the  floor,  that  the  most  suspi- 
cious eye  could  not  have  detected  the  contrivance.  A  skillful  work- 
man, whom  the  prince  had  gained  over  to  his  interests,  helped  him 
to  this  private  communication  with  equal  speed  and  secrecy. 

"The  enamored  Enriquez  having  obtained  this  inlet  into  his 
mistress's  chamber,  sometimes  availed  himself  of  his  privilege ;  but 
he  never  took  advantage  of  her  partiality.  Imprudent  as  it  may 
well  be  thought,  to  admit  of  a  secret  entrance  into  her  apartment,  it 
was  only  on  the  express  and  reiterated  assurance  that  none  but  the 
most  innocent  favors  should  be  requested  at  her  hands.  One  night 
he  found  her  in  a  state  of  unusual  perturbation.  She  had  been  in- 
formed that  Roger  was  drawing  near  his  end,  and  had  sent  for 
Sifiredi  as  lord  high  chancellor  of  the  kingdom,  and  the  legal  de- 
positary of  his  last  will  and  testament.  Already  did  she  figure  to 
herself  her  dear  Enriquez  elevated  to  royal  honors.  She  was  afraid 
of  losing  her  lover  in  her  sovereign,  and  that  fear  had  strangely 
affected  her  spirits.  The  tears  were  standing  in  her  eyes,  when 
the  unconscious  cause  of  them  appeared  before  her.  'You  weep, 
madam,'  said  he;  'what  am  I  to  think  of  this  overwhelming  grief?' 
'  My  lord,'  answered  Blanche,  *  it  were  vain  for  me  to  hide  my  ap- 
prehensions. The  king,  your  uncle,  is  at  the  point  of  death,  and 
you  will  soon  be  called  to  supply  his  place.  When  I  measure  the 
distance  placed  between  us  by  your  approaching  greatness,  I  will 
own  to  you  that  my  mind  misgives  me.  The  monarch  and  the  lover 
estimate  objects  through  a  far  difierent  medium.    What  constituted 


196  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  "BLAS. 

the  fondest  wish  of  the  individual,  while  his  aspiring  thoughts  were 
checked  by  the  control  of  a  superior,  fades  into  insignificance  before 
the  tumultuous  cares  or  brilliant  destinies  of  royalty.  Be  it  the 
misgiving  of  an  anxious  heart,  or  the  whisper  of  a  well-founded 
opinion,  I  feel  distracting  emotions  succeed  one  another  in  my 
breast,  which  not  all  my  just  confidence  in  your  goodness  can  allay. 
The  source  of  my  mistrust  is  not  in  the  suspected  steadiness  of  your 
attachment,  but  in  a  diffidence  of  my  own  happy  fate.'  '  Lovely 
and  beloved  Blanche,'  replied  the  prince,  '  your  fears  but  bind  me 
the  more  firmly  in  your  fetters,  and  warrant  my  devotion  to  your 
charms.  Yet  this  excessive  indulgence  of  a  fond  jealousy  borders 
on  disloyalty  to  love,  and,  if  I  may  venture  to  say  so,  trenches  on 
the  esteem  to  which  my  constancy  has  hitherto  entitled  me.  No, 
no,  never  entertain  a  doubt  that  my  destiny  can  ever  be  sundered 
from  yodrs,  but  rather  indulge  the  pleasing  anticipation,  that  you, 
and  you  alone,  will  be  the  arbitress  of  my  fate,  and  the  source  of 
all  my  bliss.  Away  then  with  these  vain  alarms.  Why  must  they 
disturb  an  intercourse  so  charming?'  'Ah!  my  lord,'  rejoined  the 
daughter  of  Leontio,  'your  subjects,  when  they  place  the  crown 
upon  your  head,  may  ask  of  you  a  princess-queen,  descended  from 
a  long  line  of  kings,  whose  glittering  alliance  shall  join  new  realms 
to  your  hereditary  estates.  Perhaps,  alas  1  you  will  meet  their  am- 
bitious aims,  even  at  the  expense  of  your  softest  vows.'  *  Nay,  why,' 
resumed  Enriquez,  with  rising  passion,  *  why,  too  ready  a  self-tor- 
mentor, do  you  raise  up  so  afflicting  a  phantom  of  futurity  ?  Should 
heaven  take  the  king,  my  uncle,  to  itself,  and  place  Sicily  under  my 
dominion,  I  swear  to  unite  myself  to  you  at  Palermo,  in  presence  of 
my  whole  court.  To  this  I  call  to  witness  all  which  is  held  sacred 
and  inviolable  among  men.' 

"The  protestations  of  Enriquez  removed  the  fears  of  SifTredi's 
daughter.  The  rest  of  their  discourse  turned  on  the  king's  illness. 
Enriquez  displayed  the  goodness  of  his  natural  disposition,  for  he 
pitied  his  uncle's  lot,  though  he  had  no  reason  to  be  greatly  affected 
by  it ;  but  the  force  of  blood  extorted  from  him  sentiments  of  regret 
for  a  prince  whose  death  held  out  an  immediate  prospect  of  the 
crown.  Blanche  did  not  yet  know  all  the  misfortunes  which  hung 
over  her.  The  constable  of  Sicily,  who  had  met  her  coming  out  of 
her  father's  apartment  one  day  when  he  was  at  the  castle  of  Belmonte 
on  some  business  of  importance,  was  struck  with  admiration.  The 
very  next  day,  he  made  proposals  to  Siffredi,  who  entertained  his 
oflTer  favorably  ;  but  the  illness  of  Roger  taking  place  unexpectedly 
about  that  time,  the  marriage  was  put  off  for  the  present,  and  the 
subject  had  not  been  hinted  at  in  the  most  distant  manner  to 
Blanche. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  197 

"One  morning,  as  Enriquez  had  just  finished  dressing,  he  waa 
surprised  to  see  Leontio  enter  his  apartment,  followed  by  Blanche. 
'Sir,'  said  this  minister,  '  the  news  I  have  to  announce  will  in  some 
degree  afflict  your  excellent  heart,  but  it  is  counteracted  by  consol- 
ing circumstances  which  ought  to  moderate  your  grief.  The  king, 
your  uncle,  has  departed  this  life,  and  by  his  death,  left  you  the 
heir  of  his  sceptre.  Sicily  is  at  your  feet.  The  nobility  of  the 
kingdom'  wait  your  orders  at  Palermo.  They  have  commissioned 
me  to  receive  them  in  person,  and  I  come,  my  liege,  with  my  daugh- 
ter, to  pay  you  the  earliest  and  sincerest  homage  of  your  new  sub- 
jects.' The  prince,  who  was  well  aware  that  Roger  had  been  for 
two  months  sinking  under  a  complaint  gradual  in  its  progress,  but 
fatal  in  its  nature,  was  not  astonished  at  this  news.  And  yet,  struck 
with  his  sudden  exaltation,  he  felt  a  thousand  confused  emotions 
rising  up  by  turns  in  his  heart.  He  mused  for  some  time,  then 
breaking  silence,  addressed  these  words  to  Leontio:  '  Wise  SifTredi, 
I  have  always  considered  you  as  my  father.  I  shall  make  it  my 
glory  to  be  governed  by  your  counsels,  and  you  shall  reign  in  Sicily 
with  a  sway  paramount  to  my  own.'  With  these  words,  advancing 
to  the  standish  and  taking  a  blank  sheet  of  paper,  he  wrote  his 
name  at  the  bottom.  'What  are  you  doing,  sir?'  said  Siffredi. 
'Proving  my  gratitude  and  my  esteem,'  answered  Enriquez.  Then 
the  prince  presented  tlie  paper  to  Blanche,  and  said :  'Accept, 
madam,  this  pledge  of  my  faith,  and  of  the  empire  with  which  I 
invest  you  over  my  thoughts  and  actions.'  Blanche  received  it  with 
a  blush,  and  made  this  answer  to  the  prince :  '  I  acknowledge,  with 
all  humility,  the  condescensions  of  my  sovereign,  but  my  destiny  is 
in  the  hands  of  a  father,  and  you  must  not  consider  me  as  ungrate- 
ful if  I  deposit  this  flattering  token  in  his  custody,  to  be  used  ac- 
cording to  the  dictates  of  his  sage  discretion.' 

"  In  compliance  with  these  sentiments  of  filial  duty,  she  gave  the 
sign  manual  of  Enriquez  to  her  father.  Then  Siffredi  saw  at  once 
what,  till  that  moment,  had  eluded  his  penetration.  He  entered 
clearly  into  the  prince's  sentiments,  and  said  :  'Your  majesty  shall 
have  no  reproaches  to  make  me.  I  shall  not  act  unworthily  of  the 
confidence.'  .  .  .  '  My  dear  Leontio,'  interrupted  Enriquez,  *  you 
and  unworthiness  never  can  be  allied.  Make  what  use  you  please 
of  my  signature.  I  shall  confirm  your  determination.  But  go, 
return  to  Palermo,  prescribe  the  ceremonies  for  my  coronation  there, 
and  tell  ray  subjects  that  I  shall  follow  you  in  person  immediately, 
to  receive  their  oaths  of  allegiance,  and  assure  them  of  ray  protec- 
tion in  return.'  The  minister  obeyed  the  commands  of  his  new 
master,  and  set  out  for  Palermo  with  his  daughter. 

"  Some  hours  after  their  departure,  the  prince  also  left  Belmonte, 


198  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

with  his  thoughts  more  intent  on  his  passion,  than  on  the  high  rank 
to  which  he  was  called.  Immediately  on  his  arrival  in  the  city, 
the  air  was  rent  with  a  thousand  cries  of  joy.  He  made  his  entry 
into  the  palace  amid  the  acclamations  of  the  people,  and  everything 
was  ready  for  the  august  formalities.  The  Princess  Constance  was 
waiting  to  receive  him,  in  a  magnificent  mourning  dress.  She  ap- 
peared deeply  affected  by  Roger's  death.  The  customs  of  society 
required  from  them  a  reciprocal  compliment  of  condolence  on  the 
late  event,  and  they  each  of  them  acquitted  themselves  with  good 
breeding  and  propriety.  But  there  was  somewhat  more  coldness  on 
the  part  of  Enriquez  than  on  that  of  Constance,  who  could  not  enter 
into  family  quarrels,  and  resolved  on  hating  the  young  prince.  He 
placed  himself  on  the  throne,  and  the  princess  sat  beside  him  in  a 
chair  of  state  a  little  less  elevated.  The  great  officers  of  the  realm 
fell  into  their  places,  each  according  to  his  rank.  The  ceremony 
began ;  and  Leontio,  as  lord  high  chancellor  of  the  kingdom,  hold- 
ing in  his  possession  the  will  of  the  late  king,  opened  it,  and  read 
the  contents  aloud.  This  instrument  contained  in  substance  that 
Roger,  in  default  of  issue,  nominated  the  eldest  son  of  Mainfroi  his 
successor,  on  condition  of  his  marrying  the  Princess  Constance;  and 
in  the  event  of  iiis  refusing  her  hand,  the  crown  of  Sicily  was  to 
devolve,  to  his  exclusion,  on  the  head  of  the  infant  Don  Pedro,  his 
brother,  on  the  like  condition. 

"These  words  were  a  thunderstroke  to  Enriquez.  His  senses 
were  all  bewildered  even  to  distraction,  and  his  agonies  became 
still  more  acute  when  Leontio,  having  finished  the  reading  of  the 
will,  addressed  the  assembly  at  large  to  the  following  effect :  '  My 
lords,  the  last  injtinction  of  the  late  king  having  been  made  known 
to  our  new  monarch,  that  pious  and  excellent  prince  consents  to 
honor  his  cousin,  the  Princess  Constance,  with  his  hand.'  At  these 
words  Enriquez  interrupted  the  chancellor.  'Leontio,'  said  he, 
'remember  the  writing;  Blanche.'  .  .  .  'Sire,'  interrupted  Siffredi 
in  his  turn  with  precipitation,  'lest  the  prince  should  find  an  oppor- 
tunity of  making  himself  understood,  here  it  is.  The  nobility  of 
the  kingdom,'  added  he,  exhibiting  the  blank  paper  to  the  assem- 
bly, '  will  see  by  your  majesty's  august  subscription,  the  esteem  in 
which  you  hold  the  princess,  and  your  implicit  deference  to  the  last 
will  of  the  late  king  your  uncle.' 

"Having  finished  these  words,  he  forthwith  began  reading  the 
instrument  in  such  terms  as  he  had  himself  inserted.  According  to 
the  contents,  the  new  king  gave  a  promise  to  his  people,  with  for- 
malities the  most  binding  and  authentic,  that  he  would  marry  Con- 
stance, in  conformity  with  the  intention  of  Roger.  The  hall 
reechoed  with  pealing  shouts  of  satisfaction.    '  Long  live  our  high 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS:  199 

and  mighty  King  Enriquez !'  exclaimed  all  those  who  were  present. 
As  the  marked  aversion  of  the  prince  for  the  princess  had  never 
been  any  secret,  it  was  apprehended,  not  without  reason,  that  he 
might  revolt  against  the  condition  of  the  will,  and  light  up  the 
flame  of  civil  discord  in  the  kingdom ;  but  the  public  enunciation 
of  this  solemn  act,  quieting  the  fears  of  the  nobility  and  the  people 
on  that  head,  excited  these  universal  applauses,  which  went  to  the 
monarch's  heart  like  the  stab  of  an  assassin.  Constance,  who  had 
a  nearer  interest  than  any  human  being  in  the  result,  from  the 
double  motive  of  glory  and  personal  affection,  laid  hold  of  this  op- 
portunity for  expressing  her  gratitude.  The  priiace  had  much  ado 
to  keep  his  feelings"  within  bounds.  He  received  the  compliment  of 
the  princess  with  so  constrained  an  air,  and  evinced  so  unusual  a 
disorder  in  his  behavior,  as  scarcely  to  reply  in  a  manner  suited  to 
the  common  forms  of  good  breeding.  At  last,  no  longer  master  of 
his  violent  passions,  he  went  up  to  Siffredi,  whom  the  formalities  of 
his  office  detained  near  the  royal  person,  and  said  to  him  in  a  low 
tone  of  voice,  '  What  is  the  meaning  of  all  this,  Leontio  ?  The  sig- 
nature which  I  deposited  in  your  daughter's  hands  was  not  meant 
for  such  a  use  as  this.    You  are  guilty  of.'  .  .  . 

" '  My  liege,'  interrupted  Siffredi  again  with  a  tone  of  firmness, 
'  look  to  your  own  glory.  If  you  refuse  to  comply  with  the  injunc- 
tions of  the  king  your  uncle,  you  lose  the  crown  of  Sicily.'  No  sooner 
had  he  thrown  in  this  salutary  hint,  than  he  got  away  from  the  king, 
to  prevent  all  possibility  of  a  reply.  Enriquez  was  left  in  a  most 
embarrassing  situation.  A  thousand  opposite  emotions  agitated  him 
at  once.  He  was  exasperated  against  Siffredi.  To  give  up  Blanche 
was  more  thian  he  could  endure  :  so  that,  balancing  his  private  feel- 
ings and  the  calls  of  public  honor,  he  was  doubtful  to  which  side  he 
should  incline.  At  length  his  doubts  were  resolved,  under  the  idea 
of  having  found  the  means  to  secure  Siffredi's  daughter,  without 
giving  up  his  claim  to  the  throne.  He  affected,  therefore,  an  entire 
submission  to  the  will  of  Roger,  in  the  hope,  while  a  dispensation 
from  his  marriage  with  his  cousin  was  soliciting  at  Rome,  of  gaining 
the  leading  nobility  by  his  largesses,  and  thus  establishing  his  power 
so  firmly,  as  not  to  be  under  the  necessity  of  fulfilling  the  conditions 
of  the  obnoxious  instrument. 

"  After  forming  this  design,  he  got  to  be  more  composed ;  and 
turning  towards  Constance,  confirmed  to  her  what  the  lord  high 
chancellor  had  read  in  presence  of  the  whole  assembly.  But  at  the 
very  moment  when  he  had  so  far  betrayed  himself  as  to  pledge  his 
faith,  Blanche  arrived  in  the  hall  of  council.  She  came  thither,  by 
her  father's  command,  to  pay  her  duty  to  the  jjrincess ;  and  her  ears, 
on  entering,  were  startled  at  the  expressions  of  Enriquez.    In  ad- 


200  'ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

dition  to  this  shock,  Leontio,  determined  not  to  leave  her  in  doubt 
of  her  misfortune,  accompanied  her  presentation  to  Constance  with 
these  words :  '  Daughter,  make  your  homage  acceptable  to  your 
queen  ;  call  down  upon  her  the  blessings  of  a  prosperous  reign  and  a 
happy  marriage.'  This  terrible  blow  overwhelmed  the  unfortunate 
Blanche.  Vain  were  all  her  attempts  to  suppress  her  anguish  ;  her 
countenance  changed  successively  from  the  deepest  blush  to  a  deadly 
paleness,  and  she  trembled  from  head  to  foot.  And  yet  the  princess 
had  no  suspicion  how  the  matter  really  stood ;  but  attributed  the 
confused  style  of  her  compliment  to  the  awkwardness  of  a  young 
person  brought  up  in  a  state  of  rustication,  and  totally  unacquainted 
with  the  manners  of  a  court.  But  the  young  king  was  more  in  the 
secret.  The  sight  of  Blanche  put  him  out  of  countenance ;  and  the 
despair,  too  legible  in  her  eyes,  was  enough  to  drive  him  out  of  his 
senses.  Her  feelings  were  not  to  be  misunderstood ;  and  they  pointed 
at  him  as  the  most  faithless  of  men.  Could  he  have  spoken  to  her, 
it  might  have  tranquillized  his  agitation  :  but  how  to  lay  hold  of  the 
happy  moment,  when  all  Sicily,  at  least  the  illustrious  part  of  it,  was 
fixed  in  anxious  expectation  on  his  proceedings?  Besides,  the  stern 
and  inflexible  Siffredi  extinguished  at  once  every  ray  of  hope.  This 
minister,  who  was  at  no  loss  to  decipher  the  hearts  of  the  two  lovers, 
and  was  firmly  resolved,  if  possible,  to  prevent  the  evil  consequences 
impending  over  the  state  from  the  violence  of  this  imprudent  at- 
tachment, got  his  daughter  out  of  the  assembly  with  the  dexterity  of 
a  practised  courtier,  and  regained  the  road  to  Belmonte  with  her  in 
his  possession,  determined,  for  more  reasons  than  one,  to  marry  her 
as  soon  as  possible. 

"  When  they  reached  home,  he  gave  her  to  understand  all  the 
horror  of  her  destiny,  by  announcing  his  promise  to  the  constable. 
'  Just  Heaven  !'  exclaimed  she,  transported  into  a  paroxysm  of  de- 
spair, which  her  father's  presence  could  not  restrain ;  'what  unparal- 
leled suffering  have  you  the  cruelty  to  lay  up  in  store  for  the  ill-fated 
Blanche?'  Her  agony  went  to  such  a  degree  of  violence,  as  to  sus- 
pend every  power  of  her  soul.  Her  limbs  seemed  as  if  stiffened 
under  the  icy  grasp  of  death.  Cold  and  pale,  she  fell  senseless  into 
her  father's  arms.  Neither  was  he  insensible  to  her  melancholy  con- 
dition. Yet,  feeling  as  he  did  all  the  alarm  and  anxiety  of  a  parent, 
the  stern  inflexibility  of  the  statesman  remained  unshaken.  Blanche, 
after  a  time,  was  recalled  to  life  and  feeling,  rather  by  the  keenness 
of  her  mental  pangs  than  by  the  means  which  Siffredi  used  for  her 
recovery.  Languishingly  did  she  raise  her  scarcely  conscious  eyes : 
when,  glancing  on  the  author  of  her  misery,  as  he  was  anxiously 
employed  about  her  person :  '  My  lord,'  said  she,  with  inarticulate 
and  convulsive  accents,  '  I  am  ashamed  to  let  you  see  my  weakness : 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  201 

but  death,  which  cannot  be  long  in  finishing  my  torments,  will  soon 
rid  you  of  a  wretched  daughter,  who  has  ventured  to  dispose  of  her 
heart  without  consulting  you.'  *  No,  my  dear  Blanche,'  answered 
Leontio,  'your  death  would  be  too  dear  a  sacrifice:  Virtue  will  re- 
sume her  empire  over  your  actions.  The  constable's  proposals  do 
you  honor  ;  it  is  one  of  the  most  considerable  alliances  in  the  state.' 
....  'I  esteem  his  person  and  am  sensible  of  his  merit,'  inter- 
rupted Blanche;  'but,  my  lord,  the  king  had  given  me  encourage- 
ment to  indulge.'  .  .  .  '  Daughter,'  vociferated  SifTredi,  breaking  in 
upon  her  discourse,  '  I  anticipated  all  you  have  to  say  on  that  sub- 
ject. Your  partiality  for  the  prince  is  no  secret  to  me,  nor  would  it 
meet  my  disapprobation  under  other  circumstances.  You  should 
even  see  me  active  and  ardent  to  secure  for  you  the  hand  of  Enri- 
quez,  if  the  cause  of  glory  and  the  welfare  of  the  realm  demanded  it 
not  indispensably  for  Constance.  It  is  on  the  sole  condition  of 
marrying  that  princess,  that  the  late  king  has  nominated  him  his 
successor.  Would  you  have  him  prefer  you  to  the  crown  of  Sicily? 
Believe  me,  my  heart  bleeds  at  the  mortal  blow  which  impends  over 
you.  Yet,  since  we  cannot  contend  with  the  fates,  make  a  magnani- 
mous effort.  Your  fame  is  concerned,  not  to  let  the  whole  nation 
see  that  you  have  nursed  up  a  delusive  hope.  Your  sensibility 
towards  the  person  of  the  king  might  even  give  birth  to  ignominious 
rumors.  The  only  method  of  preserving  yourself  from  their  poison 
is  to  marry  the  constable.  In  short,  Blanche,  there  is  no  time  left 
for  irresolution.  The  king  has  decided  between  a  throne  and  the 
possession  of  your  charms.  He  has  fixed  his  choice  on  Constance. 
The  constable  holds  my  word  in  pledge  :  enable  me  to  redeem  it,  I 
beseech  you.  Or,  if  nothing  but  a  paramount  necessity  can  fix  your 
wavering  resolution,  I  must  make  an  unwilling  use  of  ray  parental 
authority ;  know  then,  I  command  you.' 

"  Ending  with  this  threat,  he  left  her  to  make  her  own  reflections 
on  what  had  passed.  He  was  in  hopes  that  after  having  weighed 
the  reasons  he  had  urged  to  support  her  virtue  against  the  bias  of 
her  feelings,  she  would  determine  of  herself  to  admit  the  constable's 
addresses.  He  was  not  mistaken  in  his  conjecture  :  but  at  what  an 
expense  did  the  wretched  Blanche  rise  to  this  height  of  virtuous 
resolution  !  Her  condition  was  that  in  the  whole  world  the  most 
deserving  of  pity.  The  affliction  of  finding  her  fears  realized,  respect- 
ing the  infidelity  of  Enriquez,  and  of  being  compelled,  besides  losing 
the  man  of  her  choice,  to  sacrifice  herself  to  another  whom  she  could 
never  love,  occasioned  her  such  storms  of  passion  and  alternate  toss- 
ings  of  frantic  desperation,  as  to  bring  with  each  successive  moment 
a  variety  of  vindictive  torture.  '  If  my  sad  fate  is  fixed,'  exclaimed 
she,  '  how  can  I  triumph  over  it  but  by  death  ?    Merciless  powers, 


202  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

who  preside  over  our  wayward  fortunes,  why  feed  and  tantalize  me 
with  the  most  flattering  hopes,  only  to  plunge  me  headlong  into  a 
gulf  of  miseries?  And  thou  too,  perfidious  lover!  to  rush  into  the 
arms  of  another,  when  all  those  vows  of  eternal  fidelity  were  mine. 
So  soon  then  is  that  plighted  faith  void  and  forgotten  ?  To  punish 
thee  for  so  cruel  a  deception,  may  it  please  Heaven  in  its  retribution 
to  make  the  conscious  couch  of  conjugal  endearment,  polluted  as  it 
iuust  be  by  perjury,  less  the  scene  of  pleasure  than  the  dungeon  of  re- 
morse I  May  the  fond  caresses  of  Constance  distill  poison  through 
thy  faithless  heart  1  Let  us  rival  one  another  in  the  horrors  of  our 
nuptials  1  Yes,  traitor,  I  mean  to  wed  the  constable,  though  shrink- 
ing from  his  ardent  touch,  to  avenge  me  on  myself!  to  be  my  own 
scourge  and  tormentor,  for  having  selected  so  fatally  the  object  of 
my  frantic  passion.  Since  deep-rooted  obedience  to  the  will  of  God 
forbids  to  entertain  the  thought  of  a  premature  death,  whatever  days 
may  be  allotted  me  to  drag  on  shall  be  but  a  lengthened  chain  of 
heaviness  and  torment.  If  a  sentiment  of  love  lurks  about  your 
heart,  it  will  be  revenge  enough  for  me  to  cast  myself  into  your 
presence,  the  devoted  bride  or  victim  of  another:  but  if  you  have 
thrown  off  my  remembrance  with  your  own  vows,  Sicily  at  least  shall 
glory  in  the  distinction  of  reckoning  among  its  natives  a  woman  who 
knew  how  to  punish  herself  for  having  disposed  of  her  heart  too 
lightly.' 

"  In  such  a  state  of  mind  did  this  wretched  martyr  to  love  and 
duty  pass  the  night  preceding  her  marriage  with  the  constable. 
Siflredi,  finding  her  the  next  morning  ready  to  comply  with  his 
wishes,  hastened  to  avail  himself  of  this  favorable  disposition.  He 
sent  for  the  constable  to  Belmonte  on  that  very  day,  and  the  mar- 
riage ceremony  was  performed  privately  in  the  chapel  of  the  castle. 
What  a  crisis  for  Blanche !  It  was  not  enough  to  renounce  a  crown, 
to  lose  a  lover  endeared  to  her  by  every  tie,  and  to  yield  herself  up 
to  the  object  of  her  hatred;  in  addition  to  all  this  she  must  put  a 
constraint  on  her  sentiments  before  a  husband  naturally  jealous,  and 
long  occupied  with  the  most  ardent  admiration  of  her  charms.  The 
bridegroom,  delighted  in  the  possession  of  her,  was  all  day  long  in 
her  presence.  He  did  not  leave  her  to  the  miserable  co-nsolation  of 
pouring  out  her  sorrows  in  secret.  When  night  arrived,  Leontio's 
daughter  felt  all  her  disgust  and  terror  redoubled.  But  what  seemed 
likely  to  become  of  her  when  her  women,  after  having  undressed 
her,  left  her  alone  with  the  constable  ?  He  inquired  respectfully 
into  the  cause  of  her  apparent  faintness  and  discomposure.  The 
question  was  sufficiently  embarrassing  to  Blanche,  who  affected  to  be 
ill.  Her  husband  was  at  first  deceived  by  her  pretences  ;  but  he  did 
not  long  remain  in  such,  an  error.    Being,  as  he  was,  sincerely  con- 


.ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  203 

cerned  at  the  condition  in  which  he  saw  her,  but  still  pressing  her 
to  go  to  bed,  his  urgent  solicitations,  falsely  construed  by  her,  otfered 
to  her  wounded  mind  an  image  so  cruel  and  indelicate,  that  she 
could  no  longer  dissemble  what  was  passing  within,  but  gave  a  free 
course  to  her  sighs  and  tears.  What  a  discovery  for  a  man  who 
thought  himself  at  the  summit  of  his  wishes !  He  no  longetdoubted 
but  the  distressed  state  of  his  wife  was  fraught  with  some  sinister 
omen  to  his  love.  And  yet,  though  this  knowledge  reduced  him  to 
a  situation  almost  as  deplorable  as  that  of  Blanche,  he  had  sufficient 
command  over  himself  to  keep  his  suspicions  within  his  own  breast. 
He  redoubled  his  assiduities,  and  went  on  pressing  his  bride  to  lay 
herself  down,  assuring  her  that  the  repose  of  which  she  stood  in 
need  should  be  undisturbed  by  his  interruption.  He  offered  of  hia 
own  accord  even  to  call  her  women,  if  she  was  of  opinion  that  their 
attendance  could  afford  any  relief  to  her  indisposition.  Blanche, 
reviving  at  that  proposal,  told  him  that  sleep  was  the  best 
remedy  for  the  debility  under  which  she  labored.  He  affected  to 
think  so  too.  They  accordingly  partook  of  the  same  bed,  but  with 
a  conduct  altogether  different  from  what  the  laws  of  love,  sanctioned 
by  the  rites  of  marriage,  might  authorize  in  a  pair  mutually  delighted 
and  delighting. 

"  While  Siffredi's  daughter  was  giving  way  to  her  grief,  the  con- 
stable was  hunting  in  his  own  mind  for  the  causes  which  might  ren- 
der the  nuptial  office  so  contemptible  a  sinecure  in  his  hands.  He 
could  not  be  long  in  conjecturing  that  he  had  a  rival,  but  when  he 
attempted  to  discover  him  he  was  lost  in  the  labyrinth  of  his  own 
ideas.  All  he  knew  with  certainty  was  the  peculiar  severity  of  his 
own  fate.  He  had  already  passed  two-thirds  of  the  night  in  this 
perplexity  of  thought,  when  an  undistinguishable  noise  grew  gradu- 
ally on  his  sense  of  hearing  Great  was  his  surprise  when  a  foot- 
step* seemed  audibly  to  pace  about  the  room.  He  fancied  himself 
mistaken,  for  he  recollected  shutting  the  door  himself  after  Blanche's 
women  had  retired  He  drew  back  the  curtain  to  satisfy  his  senses 
on  the  occasion  of  this  extraordinary  noise.  But  the  light  in  the 
chimney  corner  had  gone  out,  and  he  soon  heard  a  feeble  and  mel- 
ancholy voice  calling  Blanche  with  anxious  and  importunate  repe- 
titions. Then  did  the  suggestions  of  his  jealousy  transport  him 
into  rage.  His  insulted  honor  obliged  him  to  rush  from  the  bed  to 
which  he  had  so  long  aspired,  and  either  to  prevent  a  meditated 
injury  or  take  vengeance  for  its  perpetration,  he  caught  up  his 
SAvord  and  flew  forward  in  the  direction  whence  the  voice  seemed  to 
proceed.  He  felt  a  naked  blade  opposed  to  his  own.  As  he 
advanced,  his  antagonist  retired.  The  pursuit  became  more  eager, 
the  retreat  more  precipitate.    Hia  search  was  vigilant,  and  every 


204  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.. 

corner  of  the  room  seemed  to  contain  its  object  but  that  which  he 
momentarily  occupied.  The  darkness,  liowever,  favored  the  un- 
known invader,  and  he  was  nowhere  to  be  found.  The  pursuer 
halted.  He  listened  but  heard  no  sound.  It  seemed  like  enchant- 
ment 1  He  made  for  the  door,  under  the  idea  that  this  was  the  out- 
let to  the  secret  assassin  of  his  honor,  yet  the  bolt  was  shut  as  fast 
as  before.  Unable  to  comprehend  this  strange  occurrence,  he  called 
those  of  his  retinue  who  were  most  within  reach  of  his  voice.  As 
he  opened  the  door  for  this  purpose,  he  placed  himself  so  as  to  pre- 
vent all  egress,  and  stood  upon  his  guard,  lest  the  devoted  victim  of 
his  search  should  escape. 

"  At  his  redoubled  cries,  some  servants  ran  with  lights.  He  laid 
hold  of  a  taper  and  renewed  his  search  in  the  chamber  with  his 
sword  still  drawn.  Yet  he  found  no  one  there,  nor  any  apparent 
sign  of  any  person  having  been  in  the  room.  He  was  not  aware  of 
any  private  door,  nor  could  he  discover  any  practicable  mode  of 
escape;  yet,  for  all  this,  he  could  not  shut  his  eyes  against  the 
nature  and  circumstance  of  his  misfortune.  His  thoughts  were  all 
thrown  into  inextricable  confusion.  To  ask  any  questions  of 
Blanche  was  in  vain,  for  she  had  too  deep  an  interest  in  perplexing 
the  truth,  to  furnish  any  clew  whatever  to  its  discovery.  He  there- 
fore adopted  the  measure  of  unbosoming  his  griefs  to  Leontio ;  but 
previously  sent  away  his  attendants  with  the  excuse  that  he  thought 
he  had  heard  some  noise  in  the  room,  but  was  mistaken.  His  father- 
in-law,  having  left  his  chamber  in  consequence  of  this  strange  dis- 
turbance, met  him,  and  heard  from  his  lips  the  particulars  of  this 
unaccountable  adventure.  The  narrative  was  accompanied  with 
every  indication  of  extreme  agony,  produced  by  deep  and  tender 
feeling,  as  well  as  by  a  sense  of  insulted  honor. 

"Siffredi  was  surprised  at  the  occurrence.  Though  it  did  not 
appear  to  him  at  all  probable,  that  was  no  reason  for  being  easy 
about  its  reality.  The  king's  passion  might  accomplish  anything; 
and  that  idea  alone  justified  the  most  cruel  apprehensions.  But  it 
could  do  no  good  to  foster  either  the  natural  jealousy  of  his  son-in- 
law,  or  his  particular  suspicions  arising  out  of  circumstances.  He, 
therefore,  endeavored  to  persuade  him,  with  an  air  of  confidence, 
that  this  imaginary  voice,  and  airy  sword  opposed  to  his  substantial 
one,  were,  and  could  possibly  be  but  the  gratuitous  creations  of  a 
fancy,  under  the  influence  of  amorous  distrust.  It  was  morally 
impossible  that  any  person  should  have  ma<le  his  way  into  his 
daughter's  chamber.  With  regard  to  the  melancholy  so  visible  in 
his  wife's  deportment,  it  might  very  naturally  be  attributed  to  pre- 
carious health  and  delicacy  of  constitution.  The  honor  of  a  husband 
need  not  be  so  tremblingly  alive  to  all  the  qualms  of  maiden  fear 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  205 

and  inexperience.  Change  of  condition  in  the  case  of  a  girl  habitu- 
ated to  live  almost  without  human  society,  and  abruptly  consigned 
to  the  embraces  of  a  man  in  whom  love  and  previous  acquaintance 
had  not  inspired  confidence,  might  innocently  be  the  cause  of  these 
tears,  of  these  sighs,  and  of  this  lively  afiiiction  so  irksome  to  his 
feelings.  But  it  was  to  be  considered  that  tenderness,  especially  in 
the  hearts  of  young  ladies,  fortified  by  the  pride  of  blood  against 
the  excesses  of  love-sick  abandonment,  was  only  to  be  cherished 
into  a  flame  by  time  and  assiduity.  He,  therefore,  exhorted  him  to 
tranquillize  his  disturbed  mind  ;  to  be  ardently  officious  in  redoub- 
ling every  instance  of  aiFection ;  to  create  a  soft  and  seducing  interest 
in  the  sensibility  of  Blanche.  In  short,  he  besought  him  earnestly 
to  return  to  her  apartment,  and  labored  to  persuade  him  that  hia 
distrust  and  confusion  would  only  set  her  on  an  unconjugal  and 
litigious  defence  of  her  insulted  virtue. 

"  The  constable  returned  no  answer  to  the  argument  of  his  father- 
in-law,  whether  because  he  began  to  think  in  good  earnest  that  hia 
senses  were  imposed  on  by  the  disorder  of  his  mind,  or  because  he 
thought  it  more  to  the  purpose  to  dissemble  than  to  undertake 
ineffectually  to  convince  the  old  man  of  an  intent  so  devoid  of  all 
likelihood.  He  returned  to  his  wife's  chamber,  laid  himself  down 
by  her  side,  and  endeavored  to  obtain  from  sleep  some  relief  from 
hia  extreme  uneasiness.  Blanche,  on  her  part,  the  unhappy  Blanche, 
was  not  a  whit  more  at  her  ease.  Her  ears  had  been  but  too  open 
to  the  same  alarming  sounds  which  had  assailed  her  husband's 
peace ;  nor  could  she  construe  into  illusion  an  adventure  of  which 
she  well  knew  the  secret  and  the  motive.  She  was  surprised  that 
Enriquez  should  attempt  to  find  his  way  into  her  apartment,  after 
having  pledged  his  faith  so  solemnly  to  the  Princess  Constance. 
Instead  of  feeding  her  soul  with  vanity,  or  deriving  any  flattering 
omens  from  a  proceeding  fraught  with  personal  tenderness,  but 
destructive  to  self-approbation,  she  considered  it  as  a  new  insult,  and 
her  heart  was  only  so  much  the  more  exasperated  with  resentment 
against  the  author. 

"  While  Siffredi's  daughter,  with  all  her  prejudices  excited  against 
the  young  king,  believed  him  the  most  guilty  of  men,  that  unhappy 
prince,  more  than  ever  ensnared  by  Blanche,  was  anxious  for  an 
interview,  to  satisfy  her  mind  on  a  subject  which  seemed  to  make 
80  much  against  him.  For  that  purpose  he  would  have  visited  Bel- 
monte  sooner,  but  for  a  press  of  business  too  urgent  to  be  neglected ; 
nor  could  he  withdraw  himself  from  the  court  before  that  night. 
He  was  perfectly  at  home  in  all  the  turnings  of  a  place  where  he 
had  been  brought  up,  and,  therefore,  was  at  no  loss  to  slip  into  the 
castle  of  Siflfredi.    Nay,  he  was  still  in  possession  of  the  key  to  a 

\ 


206  ADVELWTVRES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

secret  door  communicating  with  the  gardens.  By  this  inlet  did  he 
gain  his  former  apartment,  and  there  found  his  way  into  Blanche's 
chamber.  Only  conceive  what  must  have  been  the  astonishment  of 
that  prince  to  find  a  man  in  possession,  and  to  feel  a  sword  opposed 
to  his  guard !  He  was  just  on  the  point  of  betraying  all,  and  of 
punishing  the  rebel  on  the  very  spot,  whose  sacrilegious  hand  had 
dared  to  lift  itself  against  the  person  of  its  lawful  sovereign.  But 
then  the  delicacy  due  to  the  daughter  of  Leontio  held  his  indig- 
nation in  check.  He  retreated  in  the  same  direction  as  he  had 
advanced,  and  regained  the  Palermo  road,  in  more  distress  and  per- 
plexity than  ever.  Getting  home  some  little  time  before  daybreak, 
his  apartment  afforded  him  the  most  quiet  retreat.  But  his  thoughts 
were  all  on  the  road  back  to  Belmonte,  the  resting-place  of  his  affec- 
tions. A  sense  of  honor ;  in  a  word,  love  with  all  its  pretensions 
and  surmises,  would  never  allow  him  to  delay  an  explanation, 
involving  all  the  circumstances  of  so  strange  and  melancholy  an 
adventure. 

"  As  soon  as  it  was  daylight  he  gave  out  that  he  was  going  on  a 
hunting  expedition  Under  cover  of  sporting,  his  huntsmen  and  a 
chosen  party  of  his  courtiers  penetrated  into  the  forest  of  Belmonte 
under  his  direction.  The  chase  was  followed  for  some  time,  as  a 
blind  to  his  real  design.  When  he  saw  the  whole  party  eagerly 
driving  on,  and  wholly  engrossed  b)"^  the  sport,  he  galloped  off  in  a 
different  direction,  and  struck,  without  any  attendants,  into  the 
road  towards  Leontio's  castle.  The  various  tracks  of  the  forest 
were  too  well  known  to  him  to  admit  of  his  losing  his  way.  His 
Impatience,  too,  would  not  allow  him  to  take  any  thought  of  his 
horse,  so  that  the  moments  scarcely  flitted  faster  than  his  expedition 
in  leaving"  behind  him  the  distance  which  separated  him  from  the 
object  of  his  love.  His  very  soul  was  on  the  rack  for  some  plausible 
excuse  to  plead  for  a  private  interview  with  Siffredi's  daughter, 
when,  crossing  a  narrow  path  just  at  the  park  gate,  he  observed  two 
women  sitting  close  by  him,  in  earnest  conversation,  under  the 
shelter  of  a  tree.  It  might  well  be  supposed  that  these  females 
belonged  to  the  castle ;  and  even  that  probability  was  sufiicient  to 
rouse  an  interest  in  him.  But  his  emotion  was  heightened  into  a 
feeling  beyond  his  reason  to  control,  for  these  ladies  happened  to 
look  round  on  hearing  the  trot  of  a  horse  advancing  in  that  direc- 
tion, when  at  once  he  recognized  his  dear  Blanche.  The  fact  was, 
she  had  made  her  escape  from  the  castle  with  Nisa,  the  person  of 
all  others  among  her  women  most  in  her  confidence,  that  she  might 
at  least  have  the  satisfaction  of  weeping  over  her  misfortunes  with- 
out intrusion  or  restraint. 

"  He  flew,  and  seemed  rather  to  throw  himself  headlong  than  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS.  207 

fall  at  her  feet.  But  when  he  beheld  in  the  expression  of  her 
countenance  every  mark  of  the  deepest  affliction,  his  heart  was 
softened.  *  Lovely  Blanche,'  said  he,  *  do  not,  let  me  entreat  you, 
give  way  to  the  emotions  of  your  grief.  Appearances,  I  own,  must 
represent  me  as  guilty  in  your  eyes,  but  when  you  shall  be  made 
acquainted  with  my  project  in  your  behalf,  what  you  consider  as  a 
crime  will  be  transformed  in  your  thoughts  into  a  proof  of  my  inno- 
cence, and  an  evidence  of  my  unparalleled  affection.'  These  words, 
calculated,  according  to  the  views  of  Enriquez,  to  allay  the  grief  of 
Blanche,  served  only  to  redouble  her  affliction.  Fain  would  she 
have  answered,  but  her  sobs  stifled  her  *utterance.  The  prince, 
thunderstruck  at  the  death-like  agitation  of  her  frame,  addressed 
her  thus:  'What,  madam,  is  there  no  possibility  of  tranquillizing 
your  agitation?  By  what  sad  mischance  have  I  lost  your  confi- 
dence, at  the  very  moment  when  my  crown  and  even  my  life  are 
at  stake,  in  consequence  of  my  resolution  to  hold  myself  engaged 
to  you  ?'  At  this  suggestion  the  daughter  of  Leontio,  doing  violence 
to  her  own  feelings,  but  thinking  it  necessary  to  explain  herself, 
said  to  him :  *  My  liege,  your  assurances  are  no  longer  admissible. 
My  destiny  and  yours  are  henceforward  as  far  asunder  as  the  poles.' 
*Ahl  Blanche,' interrupted  Enriquez  with  impatience,  'what  cut- 
ting words  are  these,  too  painful  for  my  sense  of  hearing  ?  Who 
dares  step  in  between  our  loves?  Who  would  venture  to  stand 
forward  against  the  headlong  rage  of  a  king  who  would  kindle  all 
Sicily  into  a  conflagration,  rather  than  suffer  you  to  be  ravished 
from  his  long-chferished  hopes  V  '  All  your  power,  my  liege,  great 
as  it  is,'  replied  the  daughter  of  Siffredi  in  a  tone  of  melancholy, 
'  becomes  inefficient  against  the  obstacles  in  the  way  of  our  union. 
I  know  not  how  to  tell  it  you,  but  ...  I  am  married  to  the  con- 
stable.' 

" '  Married  to  the  constable  I'  exclaimed  the  prince,  starting  back 
to  some  distance  from  her.  He  could  proceed  no  further  in  his 
discourse,  so  completely  was  he  thunderstruck  at  the  intelligence. 
Overwhelmed  by  this  unexpected  blow,  he  felt  his  strength  forsake 
him.  His  unconscious  limbs  laid  themselves  without  his  guidance 
against  a  trunk  of  a  tree  just  behind  him.  His  countenance  was 
pallid,  his  whole  frame  in  a  tremor,  his  mind  bewildered,  and  his 
spirits  depressed.  With  no  sense  or  faculty  at  liberty  but  that  of 
gazing,  and  there  every  power  of  his  soul  was  suspended  on  Blanche, 
he  made  her  feel  most  poignantly  how  he  himself  was  agonized  by 
the  fatal  event  she  had  announced.  The  expression  of  countenance 
on  her  part  was  such  as  to  show  him  that  her  emotions  were  not 
uncongenial  with  his  own.  Thus  did  these  two  distressed  lovers 
for  a  time  preserve  a  silence  towards  each  other,  which  portended 


208  ADVENTUHES  OF  OIL  liLAS. 

something  of  terror  in  its  calmness.  At  length  the  prince,  recover- 
ing a  little  from  his  disorder  by  an  effort  of  courage,  resumed  the 
discourse,  and  said  to  Blanche  with  a  sigh,  '  Madam,  what  have  you 
done  ?  You  have  destroyed  me,  and  involved  yourself  in  the  same 
ruin  by  your  credulity.' 

"  Blanche  was  offended  at  the  seeming  reproaches  of  the  king, 
when  the  strongest  grounds  of  complaint  were  apparently  on  her 
side.  '  What  1  my  lord,'  answered  she,  '  do  you  add  dissimulation 
to  infidelity  ?  Would  you  have  me  reject  the  evidence  of  my  own 
eyes  and  ears,  so  as  to  believe  you  innocent  in  spite  of  their  report? 
No,  my  lord,  I  will  own*  to  you  such  an  effort  of  abstraction  is  not 
in  my  power.'  '  And  yet,  madam,'  replied  the  king,  *  these  witnesses 
by  whose  testimony  you  have  been  so  fully  convinced  are  but  im- 
postors. They  have  been  in  a  conspiracy  to  betray  you.  It  is  no 
less  the  fact  that  I  am  innocent  and  faithful  than  it  is  true  that  you 
are  married  to  the  constable.'  '  What  is  it  you  say,  my  lord  ?'  re- 
plied she.  '  Did  I  not  overhear  you  confirming  the  pledge  of  your 
hand  and  heart  to  Constance  ?  Have  you  not  bound  yourself  to  the 
nobility  of  the  realm,  and  undertaken  to  comply  with  the  will  of 
the  late  king?  Has  not  the  princess  received  the  homage  of  your 
new  subjects  as  their  queen,  and  in  quality  of  bride  to  Prince  Enri- 
quez?  Were  my  eyes  then  fascinated?  Tell  me,  tell  me  rather, 
traitor,  that  Blanche  was  weighed  as  dust  in  the  balance  of  your 
heart,  when  compared  with  the  attractions  of  a  throne !  Without 
lowering  yourself  so  far  as  to  assume  what  you  no  longer  feel,  and 
what  perhaps  you  never  felt,  own  at  once  that  the  crown  of  Sicily 
appeared  a  more  tenable  possession  with  Constance  than  with  the 
daughter  of  Leontio.  You  are  in  the  right,  my  lord.  My  title  to 
an  illustrious  throne,  and  to  the  heart  of  a  prince  like  you,  stands 
on  an  equally  precarious  footing.  It  was  vanity  in  the  extreme  to 
prefer  a  claim  to  either  ;  but  you  ought  not  to  have  drawn  me  on 
into  error.  You  will  recollect  what  alarms  were  my  portion  at  the 
very  thought  of  losing  you,  of  which  I  had  almost  a  supernatural 
foreboding.  Why  did  you  lull  my  apprehensions  to  sleep?  To 
what  purpose  was  that  delusive  mockerj'^  ?  I  might  else  have  accused 
Fate  rather  than  yourself,  and  you  would  at  least  have  retained  an 
interest  in  my  heart,  though  unaccompanied  by  a  hand  which  no 
other  suitor  could  ever  have  obtained.  As  we  are  now  circum- 
stanced, your  justification  is  out  of  season.  I  am  married  to  the 
constable.  To  relieve  me  from  the  continuance  of  an  interview 
which  casts  a  shade  over  my  purity,  hitherto  unsullied,  permit  me, 
my  lord,  without  failing  in  due  respect,  to  withdraw  from  the  pres- 
ence of  a  prince  to  whose  addresses  I  am  even  no  longer  at  liberty 
to  listen.' 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  209 

"  With  these  words  she  darted  away  from  Enriquez  in  as  hurried 
a  step  as  the  agitation  of  her  spirits  would  allow.  *  Stop;  madam,' 
exclaimed  he ;  '  drive  not  to  despair  a  prince  inclined  to  overturn  a 
throne  which  you  reproach  him  for  having  preferred  to  yourself, 
rather  than  yield  to  the  importunities  of  his  new  subjects.'  *  That 
sacrifice  is  under  present  circumstances  superfluous,'  rejoined 
Blanche.  '  The  bond  must  be  broken  between  the  constable  and 
me,  before  any  effect  can  be  produced  by  these  generous  transports. 
Since  I  am  not  my  own  mistress,  little  would  it  avail  that  Sicily 
should  be  embroiled,  nor  does  it  concern  me  to  whom  you  give  your 
hand.  If  I  had  betrayed  my  own  weakness,  and  suffered  my  heart 
to  be  surprised,  at  least  shall  I  muster  fortitude  enough  to  suppress 
every  soft  emotion,  and  prove  to  the  new  king  of  Sicily,  that  the 
wife  of  the  constable  is  no  longer  the  mistress  of  Prince  Enriquez.' 
While  this  conversation  was  passing,  they  reached  the  park  gate. 
With  a  sudden  spring  she  and  Nisa  got  within  the  walls.  As  they 
took  care  to  fasten  the  wicket  after  them,  the  prince  was  left  in  a 
state  of  melancholy  and  stupefaction.  He  could  not  recover  from 
the  stunning  sensation  occasioned  by  the  intelligence  of  Blanche's 
marriage.  '  Unjust  may  I  well  call  you  !'  exclaimed  he.  'You  have 
buried  all  remembrance  of  our  solemn  engagement !  Spite  of  my 
protestations  and  your  own,  our  fates  are  rent  asunder !  The  long- 
cherished  hope  of  possessing  those  charms  was  an  empty  phantom  I 
Ah !  cruel  as  you  are,  how  dearly  have  I  purchased  the  distinction 
of  compelling  you  to  acknowledge  the  constancy  of  my  love  1' 

"At  that  moment  his  rival's  happiness,  heightened  by  the  coloring 
of  jealousy,  presented  itself  to  his  mind  in  all  the  horrors  of  that 
frantic  passion.  So  arbitrary  was  its  sway  over  him  for  some  mo- 
ments, that  he  was  on  the  point  of  sacrificing  the  constable,  and 
even  Siffredi,  to  his  blind  vengeance.  Eeason,  however,  calmed  by 
little  and  little  the  violence  of  his  transports.  And  yet  the  obvious 
impossibility  of  effacing  from  the  mind  of  Blanche  her  natural  con- 
viction of  his  infidelity,  reduced  him  to  despair.  He  flattered  him- 
self with  weaning  her  from  her  prejudices,  could  he  but  converse 
with  her  secure  from  interruption.  To  attain  this  end,  it  seemed 
the  most  feasible  plan  to  get  rid  of  the  constable.  He,  therefore, 
determined  to  have  him  arrested,  as  a  person  suspected  of  treason- 
able designs  in  the  then  unsettled  state  of  public  affairs.  The  com- 
mission was  given  to  the  captain  of  his  guard,  who  went  immediately 
to  Belmonte,  secured  the  person  of  his  prisoner  just  as  the  evening 
wjis  closing  in,  and  carried  him  to  the  castle  of  Palermo, 

"  This  occurrence  spread  an  alarm  at  Belmonte.  Siffredi  took  his 
departure  forthwith,  to  offer  his  own  responsibility  to  the  king  for 
the  innocence  of  his  son-in-law,  and  to  represent  in  their  true  colors 
14 


210  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

the  unpleasant  consequences  attending  such  arbitrary  exertions  of 
power.  The  prince,  who  had  anticipated  such  a  proceeding  on  the 
part  of  hia  minister,  and  was  determined  at  least  to  secure  himself 
a  free  interview  with  Blanche  before  the  release  of  the  constable, 
had  expressly  forbidden  any  one  to  address  him  till  the  next  day. 
But  Leontio,  setting  this  prohibition  at  defiance,  contrived  so  well 
as  to  make  his  way  into  the  king's  chamber.  '  My  Uege,'  said  he, 
with  an  air  of  humility  tempered  with  firmness,  *  if  it  is  allowable 
for  a  subject  full  of  respect  and  loyalty  to  complain  of  his  master, 
I  have  to  arraign  you  before  the  tribunal  of  your  own  conscience. 
What  crime  has  my  son-in-law  committed?  Haa  your  majesty 
sufficiently  reflected  what  an  everlasting  reproach  is  entailed  on  my 
family?  Are  the  consequences  of  an  imprisonment  calculated  to 
disgust  all  the  most  important  officers  of  the  state  with  the  service, 
a  matter  of  indifference  V  '  I  have  undoubted  information,'  answered 
the  king,  '  that  the  constable  holds  a  criminal  correspondence  with 
the  Infant  Don  Pedro.'  '  A  criminal  correspondence  1'  interrupted 
Leontio,  with  surprise.  'Ah!  my  liege,  give  no  ear  to  the  surmise. 
Your  majesty  is  played  upon.  Treason  never  gained  a  footing  in 
the  family  of  Siffredi.  It  is  sufficient  security  for  the  constable 
that  he  is  my  son-in-law,  to  place  him  above  all  suspicion.  The 
constable  is  innocent ;  but  private  motives  have  been  the  occasion 
of  your  arresting  him.' 

" '  Since  you  speakto  me  so  openly,'  replied  the  king,  '  I  will  adopt 
the  same  sincerity  with  you.  You  complain  of  the  constable's  im- 
prisonment I  Be  it  so.  And  have  I  no  reason  to  complain  of  your 
cruelty  ?  It  is  you,  barbarous  Siffredi,  who  have  wrested  my  tran- 
quillity from  me,  and  reduced  your  sovereign,  by  your  officious  cares, 
to  envy  the  lowliest  of  the  human  race.  For  do  not  so  far  deceive 
yourself  as  to  believe  that  I  shall  ever  enter  into  your  views.  My 
marriage  with  Constance  is  quite  out  of  the  question.'  .  .  .  .  '  What, 
my  liege,'  interrupted  Leontio,  with  an  expression  of  horror,  '  is 
there  any  doubt  about  your  marrying  the  princess,  after  having  flat- 
tered her  with  that  hope  in  the  face  of  your  whole  people?'  '  If  their 
wishes  are  disappointed,'  replied  the  king,  '  take  the  credit  to  your- 
self. Wherefore  did  you  reduce  me  to  the  necessity  of  giving  them 
a  promise  my  heart  would  not  allow  me  to  make  good?  Where  was 
the  occasion  to  fill  up  with  the  name  of  Constance  an  instrument  de- 
signed for  the  elevation  of  your  own  daughter?  You  could  not  be 
a  stranger  to  my  design  ;  need  you  have  completed  your  tyranny  by 
devoting  Blanche  to  the  arms  of  a  man  to  whom  she  could  not  give 
her  heart?  And  what  authority  have  you  over  mine  to  dispose  of 
it  in  favor  of  a  princess  whom  I  detest?  Have  you  forgotten  that 
she  is  the  daughter  of  that  cruel  Matilda,  who,  trampling  the  rights 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  211 

of  consanguinity  and  human  nature  under  foot,  caused  my  father  to 
breathe  his  last  under  all  the  rigors  of  a  hard  captivity  ?  And  should 
I  marry  her  I  No,  Siffredi,  throw  away  that  hope.  Before  the  lurid 
torch  of  such  an  hymeneal  shall  be  kindled  in  your  presence,  you 
shall  behold  all  Sicily  in  flames,  and  the  expiring  embers  quenched 
in  blood.' 

" '  Do  not  my  ears  deceive  me  ?'  exclaimed  Leontio.  '  Ah  I  Sover- 
eign, what  a  scene  do  you  present  me  with  I  Who  can  hear  such 
menaces  without  shuddering  ?  But  I  am  too  forward  to  take  alarm,' 
continued  he,  in  an  altered  voice.  '  You  are  in  too  close  a  union 
with  your  subjects  to  be  the  instrument  of  a  catastrophe  so  melan- 
choly. You  will  not  suffer  passion  to  triumph  over  your  reason. 
Virtues  like  yours  shall  never  lose  their  lustre  by  the  tarnish  of 
human  and  ordinary  weakness.  If  I  had  given  my  daughter  into 
the  arms  of  the  constable,  it  was  with  the  design,  my  liege,  of  secur- 
ing to  your  majesty  a  powerful  subject,  able  by  his  own  valor,  and 
the  army  under  his  command,  to  maintain  your  party  against  that 
of  the  Prince  Don  Pedro.  It  appeared  to  me  that  by  connecting 
him  with  my  family  in  so  close  a  bond'  ....  *  Yes,  yes !  This  bond,' 
exclaimed  Prince  Enriquez,  '  this  fatal  bond  has  been  my  ruin.  Un- 
feeling friend,  to  aim  a  wound  at  my  vital  part !  What  commission 
had  you  to  take  care  of  my  interests  at  the  expense  of  my  affections  ? 
Why  did  you  not  leave  me  to  support  my  pretensions  by  my  own 
arm?  Was  there  any  question  about  my  courage,  that  I  should  be 
thought  incompetent  to  reduce  my  rebellious  subjects  to  their  obedi- 
ence ?  Means  might  have  been  found  to  punish  the  constable  had 
he  dared  to  have  fallen  off  from  his  allegiance  !  I  am  well  aware  of 
the  difference  between  a  lawful  king  and  an  arbitrary  tyrant.  The 
happiness  of  our  people  is  our  first  duty.  But  are  we,  on  the  other 
hand,  to  be  the  slaves  of  our  subjects  ?  From  the  moment  when  we 
are  selected  by  Heaven  for  our  high  office,  do  we  lose  the  common 
privilege  of  nature,  the  birthright  of  the  human  race,  to  dispose  of 
our  affections  in  whatsoever  current  they  flow  ?  Well,  then  I  If  we 
are  less  our  own  masters  than  the  lowest  of  the  human  race,  take 
back,  Siffredi,  that  sovereign  authority  you  affect  to  have  secured  to 
me  by  the  wreck  of  my  personal  happiness.' 

" '  You  cannot  but  be  acquainted,  my  liege,'  replied  the  minister, 
'  that  it  was  on  your  marriage  with  the  princess,  the  late  king,  your 
uncle,  made  the  succession  of  the  crown  to  depend.'  '  And- by  what 
right,'  rejoined  Enriquez, '  did  even  he  assume  to  himself  so  arbitrary 
a  disposition  ?  Was  it  on  such  unworthy  terms  that  he  succeeded 
his  brother,  King  Charles?  How  came  you  yourself  to  be  so  besot- 
ted as  to  allow  of  a  stipulation  so  unjust?  For  a  high  chancellor, 
you  are  not  too  well  versed  in  our  laws  and  constitutions.    To  cut 


212  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  matter  short,  though  I  have  promised  my  hand  to  Constance,  the 
engagement  was  not  voluntary.  I  do  not,  therefore,  think  myself 
bound  to  keep  my  word ;  and  if  Don  Pedro  founds  on  my  refusal  any 
hope  of  succeeding  to  the  throne  without  involving  the  nation  in  a 
bloody  and  destructive  contest,  his  error  will  be  too  soon  visible.  The 
sword  shall  decide  between  us  to  whom  the  prize  of  empire  may 
more  worthily  fall.'  Leontio  could  not  venture  to  press  him  further, 
and  confined  himself  to  supplicating  on  his  knees  for  the  liberty  of 
his  son-in-law.  That  boon  he  obtained.  '  Go,'  said  the  king  to  him, 
'  return  to  Belmonte,  the  constable  shall  follow  you  thither  without 
delay.'  The  minister  departed,  and  made  the  best  of  his  way  to  Bel- 
monte, under  the  persuasion  that  his  son-in-law  would  overtake  him 
on  the  road.  In  this  he  was  mistaken.  Enriquez  was  determined 
to  visit  Blanche  that  night,  and  with  such  views  he  deferred  the  en- 
largement of  her  husband  till  the  next  morning. 

"  During  this  time  the  feelings  of  the  constable  were  of  the  most 
agonizing  nature.  His  imprisonment  had  opened  his  eyes  to  the 
real  cause  of  his  misfortune.  He  gave  himself  up  to  jealousy  with- 
oiit  restraint  or  remorse,  and  belieing  the  good  faith  which  had 
hitherto  rendered  his  character  so  valuable,  his  thoughts  were  all 
bent  on  his  revenge.  As  he  conjectured  rightly  that  the  king  would 
not  fail  to  reconnoitre  Blanche's  apartment  during  the  night,  it  was 
his  object  to  surprise  them  together.  He,  therefore,  besought  the  gov- 
ernor of  the  castle  at  Palermo  to  allow  of  his  absence  from  the 
prison,  on  the  assurance  of  his  return  before  daybreak.  The  gover- 
nor, who  was  devoted  to  his  interest,  gave  his  permission  so  much 
the  more  easily,  as  being  already  advertised  that  Siffredi  had  pro- 
cured his  liberty.  Indeed  he  even  went  so  far  as  to  supply  him 
with  a  horse  for  his  journey  to  Belmonte.  The  constable  on  his 
arrival  there  fastened  his  horse  to  a  tree.  He  then  got  into  the  park 
by  a  little  gate  of  which  he  had  the  key,  and  was  lucky  enough  to 
slip  into  the  castle  without  being  recognized  by  any  one.  On 
reaching  his  wife's  apartment,  he  concealed  himself  in  the  ante- 
chamber, behind  a  screen  plac^  as  if  expressly  for  his  use.  His 
intention  was  to  observe  narrowly  what  was  going  forward,  and  to 
present  himself  on  the  sudden  in  Blanche's  chamber  at  the  sound  of 
any  footstep  he  should  hear.  The  first  object  he  beheld  was  Nisa, 
taking  leave  of  her  mistress  for  the  night,  and  withdrawing  to  a 
closet  where  she  slept. 

"  Siffredi's  daughter,  who  had  been  at  no  loss  to  fathom  the  mean- 
ing of  her  husband's  imprisonment,  was  fully  convinced  that  he 
would  not  return  to  Belmonte  that  night,  although  she  had  heard 
from  her  father  of  the  king's  assurance  that  the  constable  should  set 
out  immediately  after  him.    As  little  could  she  doubt  but  Enriquez 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  213 

would  avail  himself  of  the  interval  to  see  and  converse  with  her  at 
his  pleasure.  With  this  expectation  she  awaited  the  prince's  arri- 
val, to  reproach  him  for  a  line  of  conduct  so  pregnant  with  fatal 
consequences  to  herself.  As  she  had  anticipated,  a  very  short  time 
after  Nisa  had  retired,  the  sliding  panel  opened,  and  the  king  threw 
himself  at  the  feet  of  his  beloved.  '  Madam,'  said  he,  '  condemn  me 
not  without  a  hearing.  It  is  true  I  have  occasioned  the  constable's 
imprisonment,  but  then  consider  that  it  was  the  only  method  left 
me  for  my  justification.  Attribute,  therefore,  that  desperate  strata- 
gem to  yourself  alone.  Why  did  you  refuse  to  listen  to  ray  expla- 
nation this  morning?  Alas  I  to-morrow  your  husband  will  be 
liberated,  and  I  shall  no  longer  have  an  opportunity  of  addressing 
you.  Hearken  to  me  then  for  the  last  time.  If  the  loss  of  you  has 
embittered  the  remainder  of  my  days,  vouchsafe  me  at  least  the  mel- 
ancholy satisfaction  of  convincing  you  that  I  have  not  called  down 
this  misfortune  on  myself  by  my  own  inconstancy.  I  did  indeed 
confirm  the  pledge  of  my  hand  to  Constance,  but  then  it  was  un- 
avoidable in  the  situation  to  which  your  father's  policy  had  reduced 
us.  It  was  necessary  to  put  this  imposition  on  the  princess  for  your 
interest  and  for  my  own ;  to  secure  to  you  your  crown,  and  with  it 
the  hand  and  heart  of  your  devoted  lover.  I  had  flattered  myself 
with  the  prospect  of  success.  Measures  were  already  taken  to  super- 
sede that  engagement,  but  you  have  destroyed  the  bright  illusions 
of  my  fancy ;  and,  by  disposing  of  yourself  too  precipitately,  have 
antedated  an  eternity  of  torment  for  two  hearts,  whom  a  mutual  and 
perfect  love  might  have  conducted  to  perpetual  bliss.' 

"  He  concluded  this  explanation  with  such  evident  marks  of  un- 
feigned agony,  that  Blanche  was  affected  by  his  words.  She  had  no 
longer  any  hesitation  about  his  innocence.  At  first  her  joy  was 
unbounded  at  the  conviction ;  but  then  again  a  sense  of  their  cruel 
circumstances  gained  the  ascendency  over  her  mind.  'Ah!  my 
honored  lord,'  said  she  to  the  prince,  *  after  such  a  determination  of 
our  destinies,  you  only  inflict  a  new  pang  by  informing  me  that  you 
were  not  to  blame.  What  have  I  done,  wretched  as  I  am  I  My  keen 
resentment  has  betrayed  me  into  error.  I  fancied  myself  cast  off*; 
and  in  the  moment  of  my  anger,  accepted  the  hand  of  the  constable, 
whose  addresses  my  father  promoted.  But  the  crime  is  all  my  own, 
though  the  woes  are  mutual.  Alas  1  In  the  very  conjuncture  when  I 
accused  you  of  deceiving  me,  it  was  my  own  act,  too  credulously 
impassioned  as  I  was,  that  the  ties  were  broken,  which  I  had  sworn 
forever  to  make  indissoluble.  Take  your  revenge,  my  lord,  in  your 
turn.  Indulge  your  hatred  against  the  ungrateful  Blanche.  .  .  . 
Forget.'  .  .  .  'What!  and  is  it  in  my  power  then,  madam?'  inter- 
rupted Enriquez  with  a  dejected  air :  '  how  is  it  possible  to  tear  a 


214  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

passion  from  my  heart,  which  even  your  injustice  had  not  the  power 
of  extinguishing?'  '  Yet  it  becomes  necessary  for  you  to  make  tliat 
effort,  my  liege,'  replied  the  daughter  of  Siffredi,  with  a  deep  sigh. 
.  .  .  'And  shall  you  be  equal  to  that  effort  yourself?'  replied  the 
king.  '  I  am  not  confident  with  myself  for  my  success,'  answered 
she :  *  but  I  shall  spare  no  pains  in  the  attainment  of  my  object.' 
'  Ah  I  unfeeling  fair  one,'  said  the  prince,  '  you  will  easily  banish 
Enriquez  from  your  remembrance,  since  you  can  contemplate  such 
a  purpose  so  steadfastly.'  '  Whither,  then,  does  your  imagination 
lead?'  said  Blanche,  in  a  more  decided  tone.  '  Do  you  flatter  your- 
self that  I  can  permit  the  continuance  of  your  tender  assiduities? 
No,  my  lord ;  banish  that  hope  forever  from  your  thoughts.  If  I 
was  not  born  for  royalty,  neither  has  Heaven  formed  me  to  be  de- 
graded by  illicit  addresses.  My  husband,  like  yourself,  my  liege,  is 
allied  to  the  noble  house  of  Anjou.  Though  the  call  of  duty  were 
less  peremptcTry,  in  opposing  an  insurmountable  obstacle  to  your 
insidious  proposals,  a  sense  of  pride  would  hinder  me  from  admit- 
ting them.  I  conjure  you  to  withdraw ;  we  must  meet  no  more.' 
'  What  a  barbarous  sentence  1'  exclaimed  the  king.  'Ah  !  Blanche, 
is  it  possible  that  you  should  treat  me  with  so  much  severity  ?  Is  it 
not  enough,  then,  to  weigh  me  down,  that  the  constable  should  be 
in  possession  of  your  charms  ?  And  yet  you  would  cut  me  oS*  from 
the  bare  sight  of  you,  the  only  comfort  which  remains  to  me  I' 
'For  that  very  reason  avoid  my  presence,'  answered  Siffredi's 
daughter,  not  without  some  tears  of  tenderness.  '  The  contempla- 
tion of  what  we  have  dearly  loved  is  no  longer  a  blessing,  when  we 
have  lost  all  hope  of  the  possession.  Adieu,  my  lord !  Shun  my 
very  image.  You  owe  that  exertion  to  your  own  honor  and  to  my 
good  name.  I  claim  it  also  for  my  own  peace  of  mind :  for  to  deal 
sincerely,  though  my  virtue  should  be  steady  enough  to  combat 
with  the  suggestions  of  my  heart,  the  very  remembrance  of  youc 
affection  stirs  up  so  cruel  a  conflict,  that  it  is  almost  too  much  for 
my  frail  nature  to  support  the  shock.' 

"  Her  utterance  of  these  words  was  attended  with  so  energetic  an 
action,  as  to  overset  the  light  placed  on  a  table  behind  her,  and  its 
fall  left  the  room  in  darkness.  Blanche  picked  it  up.  She  then 
opened  the  door  of  the  ante-chamber,  and  went  to  Nisa's  closet, 
who  was  not  yet  gone  to  bed,  for  th«  purpose  of  lighting  it  again. 
She  was  now  returning,  after  having  accomplished  her  errand.  The 
king,  who  was  waiting  for  her  impatiently,  no  sooner  saw  her  ap- 
proach, than  he  resumed  his  ardent  plea  with  her,  to  allow  of  his 
attentions.  At  the  prince's  voice,  the  constable  rushed  impetuously, 
sword  in  hand,  into  the  room,  almost  at  the  same  moment  with  his 
bride.    Advancing  up  to  Enriquez  with  all  the  indignation  which 


Don  Raphael. 


p.  216. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  215 

Ms  fury  kindled  within  him  :  '  This  is  too  much,  tyrant !'  cried  he ; 
*  flatter  not  yourself  that  I  am  cowardly  enough  to  bear  this  affront 
which  you  have  offered  to  my  honor.'  '  Ay  !  traitor,'  answered  the 
king,  standing  on  his  guard,  '  lay  aside  the  vain  imagination  of  being 
able  to  compass  your  purpose  with  impunity.'  With  these  mutual 
taunts,  they  entered  on  a  conflict,  too  violent  to  be  long  undecided. 
The  constable,  fearing  lest  Siffredi  and  his  attendants  should  be  roused 
too  soon  by  the  piercing  shrieks  of  Blanche,  and  should  interpose 
between  him  and  his  revenge,  took  no  care  of  himself.  His  frenzy 
robbed  him  of  all  skill.  He  fenced  so  heedlessly,  as  to  run  headlong 
on  his  adversary's  sword.  The  weapon  entered  his  body  up  to  the 
hilt.     He  fell ;  and  the  king  instantaneously  checked  his  hand. 

"  The  daughter  of  Leontio,  touched  at  her  husband's  condition,  and 
rising  superior  to  her  natural  repugnance,  threw  herself  on  the 
ground,  and  was  anxious  to  afford  him  every  assistance.  But  that 
ill-fated  bridegroom  was  too  deeply  prejudiced  against  her,  to  allow 
himself  to  be  softened  by  the  evidences  she  gave  of  her  sorrow  and 
her  pity.  Death,  whose  hand  he  felt  upon  him,  could  not  trifle  the 
transports  of  his  jealousy.  In  these  his  last  moments,  no  image 
presented  itself  to  his  mind  but  his  rival's  success.  So  insufferable 
was  that  idea  to  him,  that,  collecting  together  the  little  strength  he 
had  left,  he  raised  his  sword,  which  he  still  grasped  convulsively, 
and  plunged  it  deep  in  Blanche's  bosom,  '  Die,'  said  he,  as  he  in- 
flicted the  fatal  wound ;  '  die,  faithless  bride,  since  the  ties  of  wed- 
lock were  not  strong  enough  to  preserve  to  me  the  vow  which  you 
had  sworu  upon  the  altar  I  And  as  for  you,  Enriquez,'  pursued  he, 
'  triumph  not  too  loudly  on  your  destinies.  You  are  prevented  from 
taking  advantage  of  my  froward  fortune;  and  I  die  content.' 
Scarcely  did  these  words  quiver  on  his  lips,  when  he  breathed  his 
last.  His  countenance,  overcast  as  it  was  with  the  shades  of  death, 
had  still  something  in  it  of  fierceness  and  of  terror.  That  of  Blanche 
presented  a  quite  different  aspect.  The  wound  which  she  had  re- 
ceived was  mortal.  She  fell  on  the  scarcely  breathing  body  of  her 
husband ;  and  the  blood  of  the  innocent  victim  flowed  in  the  same 
stream  with  that  of  her  murderer,  who  had  executed  his  cruel  purpose 
80  suddenly  that  the  king  could  not  prevent  it  from  taking  effect. 

"  This  ill-fated  prince  uttered  a  cry  at  the  sight  of  Blanche  as  she 
fell.  Pierced  deeper  than  herself  by  the  stab  which  deprived  her 
of  life,  he  did  his  utmost  to  afford  the  same  relief  to  her  as  she  had 
offered,  though  at  so  fatal  an  expense,  to  one  who  might  have  re- 
warded her  better.  But  she  addressed  him  in  these  words,  while 
the  last  breath  quivered  on  her  lips :  '  My  lord,  your  assiduities  are 
fruitless  ;  I  am  the  victim.  Merciless  Fate  demands  me,  and  I  re- 
sign myself  to  death.    May  the  anger  of  Heaven  be  appeased'by 


216  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  sacrifice,  and  the  prosperity  of  your  reign  be  confirmed.'  As 
she  was  with  difficulty  uttering  these  last  words,  Leontio,  drawn 
thither  by  the  reverberation  of  her  shrieks,  came  into  the  room, 
and,  thunderstruck  at  the  dreadful  scene  before  him,  remained  fixed 
to  the  spot  where  he  stood.  Blanche,  without  noticing  his  presence, 
went  on  addressing  herself  to  the  king.  '  Farewell,  prince,'  said 
she ;  '  cherish  my  memory  with  the  tenderness  it  deserves.  My 
affection  and  my  misfortunes  entitle  me  at  least  to  that.  Harbor 
no  aversion  to  my  father:  he  is  innocent.  Be  a  comfort  to  his  re- 
maining days;  assuage  his  grief ;  acknowledge  his  fidelity.  Above 
all,  convince  him  of  my  spotless  virtue.  With  this  I  charge  you, 
before  every  other  consideration.  Farewell,  my  dear  Enriquez.  .  .  . 
I  am  dying.  .  .  .  Receive  my  last  sigh.' 

"  Here  her  words  were  interrupted  by  the  approach  of  death.  For 
some  time,  the  king  maintained  a  sullen  silence.  At  length  he  said 
to  Siffredi,  whose  senses  seemed  to  be  locked  up  in  a  mortal  trance : 
*  Behold,  Leontio ;  feed  on  the  contemplation  of  your  own  work.  In 
this  tragical  event,  you  may  ruminate  on  the  issues  of  your  officious 
cares,  and  your  overweening  zeal  for  my  service.'  The  old  man 
returned  no  answer,  so  deeply  was  he  penetrated  by  his  affliction. 
But  wherefore  dwell  on  the  description  of  circumstances,  when  the 
powers  of  language  must  sink  under  the  weight  of  such  a  catas- 
trophe? Suffice  it  to  say,  that  they  mutually  poured  forth  their 
sorrows  in  the  most  affecting  terms,  as  soon  as  their  grief  allowed 
them  to  give  vent  to  its  effusions  in  speech. 

"  Through  the  whole  course  of  his  life,  the  king  cherished  a  ten- 
der recollection  of  his  mistress.  He  could  not  bring  himself  to  marry 
Constance.  The  Infant  Don  Pedro  combined  with  that  princess, 
and,  by  their  joint  efforts,  an  obstinate  attempt  was  made  to  carry 
the  will  of  Roger  into  execution  ;  but  they  were  compelled  in  the 
end  to  give  way  to  Prince  Enriquez,  who  gained  the  ascendency 
over  all  his  enemies.  As  for  Sifiredi,  the  melancholy  he  contracted 
from  having  been  the  cause  of  destruction  to  his  dearest  friends 
gave  him  a  disgust  to  the  world,  and  made  a  longer  abode  in  his 
native  country  insupportable.  He  turned  his  back  on  Sicily  for 
ever ;  and,  coming  over  into  Spain  with  Portia,  his  surviving  daugh- 
ter, purchased  this  mansion.  He  lived  nearly  fifteen  years  after  the 
death  of  Blanche,  and  had  the  consolation,  before  his  own  death,  of 
establishing  Portia  in  the  world.  She  married  Don  Jerome  de 
Silva,  and  I  am  the  only  issue  of  that  marriage.  Such,"  pursued 
the  widow  of  Don  Pedro  de  Pinares,  "  is  the  story  of  my  family— a 
faithful  recital  of  the  melancholy  events  represented  in  that  picture, 
which  was  painted  by  order  of  my  grandfather,  Leontio,  as  a  record 
to  his  posterity  of  the  fatal  adventure  I  have  related." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS,  217 


CHAPTEE   V. 

THE  BEHAVIOR  OF  AURORA  DE  GUZMAN  ON  HER  ARRIVAL  AT 

SALAMANCA. 

ORTIZ,  her  companions,  and  myself,  after  having  heard  this 
tale,  withdrew  together  from  the  hall,  where  we  left  Aurora 
with  Elvira.  There  they  lengthened  out  the  remainder  of  the  day 
in  a  mutual  intercourse  of  confidence.  They  were  not  likely  to  be 
weary  of  each  other,  -and  on  the  following  morning,  when  we  took 
our  leave,  there  was  as  much  to  do  to  part  them,  as  if  they  had 
been  two  friends  brought  up  in  the  closest  habits  of  confidence  and 
affection. 

In  due  time  we  .reached  Salamanca  without  any  impediment. 
There  we  immediately  engaged  a  ready-furnished  house,  and  Dame 
Ortiz,  as  it  had  been  before  agreed,  assumed  the  name  of  Donna 
Kimena  de  Guzman.  She  had  played  the  part  of  a  duenna  too 
long  not  to  be  able  to  shift  her  character  according  to  circum- 
stances. One  .morning  she  went  out  with  Aurora,  a  waiting-maid, 
and  a  man-servant,  and  betook  herself  to  a  lodging-house,  where 
we  had  been  informed  that  Pacheco  most  commonly  took  up  his 
abode.  She  asked  if  there  was  any  lodging  to  be  let  there.  The 
answer  was  in  the  afiirmative,  and  they  showed  her  into  a  room  in 
very  neat  condition,  which  she  hired.  She  paid  down  earnest  to 
the  landlady,  telling  her  that  it  was  for  one  of  her  nephews  who 
was  coming  from  Toledo  to  finish  his  studies  at  Salamanca,  and 
might  be  expected  on  that  very  day. 

The  duenna  and  my  mistress,  after  having  made  sure  of  this 
apartment,  went  back  the  way  they  came,  and  the  lovely  Aurora, 
without  the  loss  of  time,  metamorphosed  herself  into  a  spruce  young 
spark.  She  concealed  her  black  ringlets  under  a  braid  of  light- 
colored  hair,  the  better  to  disguise  herself ;  .  .  .  manufactured  her 
eyebrows  to  correspond,  and  dressed  herself  up  in  such  a  costume 
as  to  look  for  all  the  world  as  if  her  sex  were  of  a  piece  with  her 
appearance.  Her  deportment  was  free  and  easy ;  so  that,  with  the 
exception  of  her  face,  which  was  somewhat  more  delicate  than  be- 
came the  manly  character,  there  was  nothing  to  lead  to  a  discovery 
of  her  masquerading.  The  waiting-woman  who  was  to  officiate  as 
page  got  into  her  paraphernalia  at  the  same  time,  and  we  had  no 
apprehension  respecting  her  competency  to  perform  her  part.  There 
was  no  danger  of  her  beauty  telling  any  tales ;  and,  besides,  she 
could  put  on  as  brazen-faced  a  swagger  as  the  most  impudent  dog 
in  town.    After  dinner,  our  two  actresses,  finding  themselves  in  cue 


218  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

to  make  their  first  appearance  on  the  stage,  where  the  scene  was 
laid  in  the  ready-furnished  lodging,  took  me  along  with  them.  We 
all  three  placed  ourselves  in  the  coach,  and  carried  with  us  all  the 
biiggage  we  were  likely  to  have  occasion  for. 

The  landlady,  Bernarda  Ramirez  by  name,  welcomed  us  with 
great  civility,  and  led  the  way  to  our  room,  where  we  began  to 
make  our  arrangements  with  her.  We  concluded  a  bargain  for  our 
board  by  the  month,  which  she  undertook  should  be  suitable  to  our 
condition.  Then  we  asked  if  she  had  her  complement  of  boarders. 
"I  have  none  at  all  at  present,"  answered  she.  "Not  that  there 
would  be  any  want  of  enough,  if  I  was  of  the  mind  to  take  in  all 
sorts  of  people ;  but  young  men  of  fashion  are  the  thing  for  me.  I 
expect  one  of  that  description  this  morning :  he  is  coming  hither 
from  Madrid  to  complete  his  education.  Don  Lewis  Pacheco !  But 
you  must  have  heard  of  him  before  now."  "  No,"  said  Aurora,  "  I 
have  no  acquaintance  whatever  with  the  gentleman  ;  and  since  we 
are  to  be  inmates  together,  you  will  do  me  a  kindness  by  letting  me 
a  little  into  his  character."  "  Please  your  honor,"  replied  the  land- 
lady, leering  at  this  outside  of  a  man,  "  his  figure  is  as  taking  as 
your  own ;  just  the  same  sort  of  make,  and  about  the  same  size.  0 1 
how  well  you  will  do  together !  By  St.  James,  though  I  say  it  who 
should  not  say  it,  I  shall  have  about  me  two  of  the  prettiest  young 
fellows  in  all  Spain,"  "  Well,  but  about  Don  Lewis  I"  for  my  mis- 
tress was  in  a  fidget  to  ask  the  grand  question.  "  Of  course ;  .  .  . 
he  is  well  with  the  ladies  in  your  parts !  Enough  of  ...  of  love 
afiairs  ...  on  his  hands  I"  "  O !  do  not  you  be  afraid  of  that," 
rejoined  the  old  lady ;  "  it  is  a  forward  sprig  of  gallantry,  take  my 
word  for  it.  He  has  but  to  show  himself  before  the  works,  and  the 
citadel  sends  to  capitulate.  Among  the  number  of  his  conquests, 
he  has  got  into  the  good  graces  of  a  lady,  with  as  much  youth  and 
beauty  as  he  will  know  what  to  do  with.  Her  name  is  Isabella. 
Her  father  is  an  old  doctor  of  laws.  She  is  over  head  and  ears  in 
love  with  him;  absolutely  out  of  her  wits!"  "Well,  but  do  tell 
me  now,  my  dear  little  woman,"  interrupted  Aurora,  as  if  she  was 
ready  to  burst,  "  is  he  out  of  his  wits  too  ?"  "  He  used  to  be  very 
fond  of  her,"  answered  Bernarda  Ramirez,  "  before'he  went  last  to 
Madrid,  but  whether  he  holds  in  the  same  mind  still,  I  will  not 
venture  to  say ;  because  on  these  points  he  is  not  altogether  to  be 
trusted.  He  is  apt  to  flirt,  first  with  one  woman,  and  then  with 
another,  just  as  all  you  young  deceivers  take  pleasure  in  doing. 
You  are  all  alike !" 

The  good  widow  had  scarcely  got  to  the  end  of  her  harangue 
before  we  heard  a  noise  in  the  court.  On  looking  out  at  the  win- 
dow, behold!   there  appeared  two  young  men  dismounting  from 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  219 

their  steeds.  Whom  should  it  be  but  the  identical  Don  Lewis  Pa- 
checo,  just  arrived  from  Madrid,  with  a  servant  behind  him.  The 
old  lady  brushed  off  to  go  and  usher  him  in ;  while  my  mistress  was 
putting  herself  in  order,  not  without  some  palpitation  of  heart,  to 
enact  Don  Felix  to  the  best  of  her  conceptions.  ,  Without  waiting 
for  any  formalities,  in  marched  Don  Lewis  to  our  apartment  in  his 
travelling  dress.  "  I  have  just  been  informed,"  said  he,  paying  his 
respects  to  Aurora,  "  that  a  young  nobleman  of  Toledo  takes  up  his 
abode  in  this  house.  May  I  take  the  liberty  of  expressing  my  joy 
in  the  circumstance,  and  hoping  that  we  maybe  better  acquainted?" 
During  my  mistress's  reply  to  this  compliment,  it  seemed  to  me  as 
if  Pacheco  did  not  know  what  to  make  of  so  smock-faced  a  young 
spark.  Indeed  he  could  not  refrain  from  declaring  a  more  than 
ordinary  admiration  of  an  air  and  figure  so  attractive.  After  abun- 
dance of  discourse,  with  every  demonstration  of  reciprocal  good 
breeding,  Don  Lewis  withdrew  to  the  apartment  provided  for  him. 

While  he  was  getting  his  boots  off,  and  changing  his  dress  and 
linen,  a  sort  of  a  page,  on  the  look-out  after  him  to  deliver  a  letter, 
met  Aurora  by  chance  on  the  staircase.  Her  he  mistook  for  Don 
Lewis.  Thinking  he  had  found  the  right  owner  for  this  tender 
message,  of  which  he  was  the  Mercury,  "  Softly  1  my  honored  lord 
and  master,"  said  he,  "  though  I  have  not  the  honor  of  knowing 
Signor  Pacheco,  there  can  be  no  occasion  for  asking  whether  you 
are  the  man.  It  is  impossible  to  be  mistaken  in  the  guess."  "No, 
my  friend,"  answered  my  mistress  with  a  most  happy  presence  of 
mind,  "  surely  you  are  not  mistaken.  You  acquit  yourself  of  your 
embassies  to  a  marvel.  I  am  Don  Lewis  Pacheco.  You  may  retire  1 
I  will  find  an  opportunity  of  sending  an  answer."  The  page  van- 
ished, and  Aurora,  shutting  herself  up  with  her  waiting-maid  and 
me,  opened  the  letter,  and  read  to  us  follows : — "  I  have  just  heard 
of  your  being  at  Salamanca.  With  what  joy  did  I  receive  the 
news !  I  thought  I  should  have  gone  out  of  my  senses.  But  do 
you  love  Isabella  as  well  as  ever  ?  Lose  no  time  in  assuring  her 
that  you  are  still  the  same.  In  good  truth,  she  will  almost  expire 
with  pleasure  when  once  she  is  assured  of  your  constancy." 

"  This  is  a  mighty  passionate  epistle,"  said  Aurora.  "  The  heart 
that  indited  it  has  been  caught  in  a  trap.  This  lady  is  a  rival  of 
no  mean  capacity.  No  pains  must  be  spared  to  wean  Don  Lewis 
from  her,  and  even  to  prevent  any  future  interview.  The  under- 
taking is  diflBcult,  I  acknowledge,  and  yet  there  seems  no  reason  to 
despair  of  the  result."  My  mistress,  taking  her  own  hint,  fell  into 
a  fit  of  musing ;  from  which,  having  recovered  as  soon  as  she  fell 
into  it,  she  added :  "  I  will  lay  a  wager  they  are  at  daggers  drawn 
in  less  than  twenty-four  hours."  It  so  happened  that  Pacheco,  after 


220  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

a  short  repose  in  his  apartment,  came  to  look  after  us  in  ours,  and 
entered  once  more  into  conversation  with  Aurora  before  supper. 
"  My  dapper  little  knight,"  said  he  with  a  rakish  air,  "  I  fancy  the 
poor  devils  of  husbands  and  lovers  will  have  no  reason  to  hug  them- 
selves on  your  arcival  at  Salamanca.  You  will  make  their  hearts 
ache  for  them.  As  for  myself,  I  tremble  for  all  my  snug  arrange- 
ments." "I  tell  you  what,"  answered  my  mistress  with  congenial 
>l)irit,  "your  fears  are  not  without  their  foundation.  Don  Felix  de 
Mendoza  is  rather  formidable,  so  take  care  what  you  are  about.  This 
is  not  my  first  visit  in  this  country ;  the  ladies  hereabout,  to  my 
knowledge,  are  made  of  penetrable  materials.  About  a  month  ago 
my  way  happened  to  lie  through  this  city.  I  halted  for  eight  days, 
and  you  are  to  know  .  .  .  but  you  must  not  mention  it  .  .  .  that  I 
set  fire  to  the  daughter  of  an  old  doctor  of  laws." 

It  was  evident  enough  that  Don  Lewis  was  disturbed  by  this  de- 
claration. "  Might  one  without  impropriety,"  replied  he,  "just  ask 
the  lady's  name?"  "What  do  you  mean  by  impropriety?"  ex- 
claimed the  pretended  Don  Felix.  "  Why  make  any  secret  about 
such  a  matter  as  that?  Do  you  think  me  more  of  a  Joseph  than 
other  young  noblemen  of  my  standing?  Have  a  better  opinion  of  my 
spirit.  Besides,  the  object,  between  ourselves,  is  unworthy  of  any 
great  reserve,  she  is  but  a  little  mushroom  of  the  lower  ranks.  A 
man  of  fashion  never  quarrels  with  his  conscience  about  such 
obscure  gallantries,  and  even  thinks  it  an  honor  conferred  on  a 
tradesman's  wife  or  daughter  when  he  leaves  her  without  any.  I' 
shall,  therefore,  acquaint  you  in  plain  terms,  that  the  name  of  the 
doctor's  daughter  is  Isabella."  "And  the  doctor  himself,"  inter- 
rupted Pacheco  impatiently  ...  "he  possibly  may  be  Signor 
Murcia  de  la  Liana?"  "  Precisely  so,"  replied  my  mistress,  "  Here 
is  a  letter  sent  me  just  now.  Kead  it,  and  then  you  will  see  how 
deeply  your  humble  servant  has  dipped  into  her  good  graces."  Don 
Lewis  just  cast  his  eye  upon  the  note,  and  recognizing  the  hand- 
writing, was  struck  dumb  with  astonishment  and  vexation.  "  What 
is  the  matter?"  cried  Aurora,  with  an  air  of  surprise,  keeping  up 
the  sph-it  of  her  assumed  character.  "  You  change  color  I  God 
forgive  me,  but  you  are  a  party  concerned  in  this  young  lady.  Ah  ! 
plague  take  my  officious  tongue  for  having  opened  my  affairs  to  you 
with  so  much  frankness." 

"  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you  for  it,  for  my  own  part,"  said  Don 
Lewis,  in  a  transport  made  up  of  spite  and  rage.  "  Traitress !  Jilt ! 
My  dear  Don  Felix,  how  shall  I  ever  requite  you !  You  have  re- 
stored me  to  my  senses  when  they  were  just  on  the  wing  for  an 
eternal  flight.  I  was  tickling  myself  into  a  fool's  paradise  of  cred- 
ulous love.   But  love  is  too  cold  a  term  to  express  my  extravagancesn 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  221 

I  fancied  myself  adored  by  Isabella.  The  creature  had  wormed 
herself  into  my  heart  by  feigning  to  give  me  her  own.  But  now  I 
know  her  clearly  for  a  coquette,  and  as  such  despise  her  as  she 
deserves."  "  Your  feelings  on  the  occasion  do  you  infinite  credit," 
said  Aurora,  testifying  a  friendly  sympathy  in  his  resentment.  "  A 
plodding  pettifogger's  worthless  brood  might  have  gorged  to  surfeit 
on  the  love  of  a  young  nobleman  so  captivating  as  yourself.  Her 
fickleness  is  inexcusable.  So  far  from  taking  her  sacrifice  of  you  in 
good  part,  it  is  my  determination  to  punish  her  by  the  keenest  con- 
tempt." "As  for  me,"  rejoined  Pacheco,  "  I  shall  never  set  eyes  on 
her  again ;  and  if  that  is  not  revenge,  the  devil  is  in  it."  "  You  are 
in  the  right,"  exclaimed  our  masquerading  Mendoza.  "At  the  same 
time,  that  she  may  fully  understand  how  ineffably  we  both  disdain 
her,  I  vote  for  sitting  down,  each  of  us,  and  writing  her  a  sarcastic 
farewell.  They  shall  be  enclosed  in  one  cover,  and  serve  as  an 
answer  to  her  own  letter.  But  do  not  let  us  proceed  to  this  ex- 
tremity till  you  have  examined  your  heart.  It  may  be  you  will 
repent  hereafter  having  broken  off  with  Isabella."  "  No,  no,"  inter- 
rupted Don  Lewis :  "  I  am  not  such  a  fool  as  that  comes  to  ;  let  it 
be  a  bargain,  and  we  will  mortify  the  ungrateful  wretch  as  you 
propose." 

I  immediately  sent  for  pen,  ink,  and  paper,  when  they  sat  them- 
selves down  at  opposite  corners  of  the  table,  and  drew  up  a  most 
tender  bill  of  indictment  against  Dr.  Murcia  de  la  Liana's  daughter, 
Pacheco,  in  particular,  was  at  a  loss  for  language  forcible  enough  to 
convey  his  sentiments  in  all  their  acrimony ;  away  went  exordium 
after  exordium,  to  the  tearing  and  maiming  of  five  or  six  fair 
sheets,  before  the  words  looked  crooked  enough  to  please  his  jealous 
eyes.  At  length,  however,  he  produced  an  epistle  which  came  up 
with  his  most  tragical  conceptions.  It  ran  thus :  "  Self-knowledge 
is  a  leading  branch  of  wisdom,  my  little  philosopher.  As  a  candi- 
date for  a  professor's  chair,  lay  aside  the  vanity  of  fancying  yourself 
amiable.  It  requires  merit  of  a  far  different  compass  to  fix  my 
affections.  You  have  not  enough  of  the  woman  about  you  to  afford 
me  even  a  temporary  amusement.  Yet  do  not  despair ;  you  have  a 
sphere  of  your  own ;  the  beggarly  servitors  in  our  university  have  a 
keen  appetite,  but  no  very  distinguishing  palate."  So  much  for  this 
elegant  epistle !  When  Aurora  had  finished  hers,  which  rang  the 
changes  on  similar  topics,  she  sealed  them,  wrapped  them  up 
together,  and  giving  me  the  packet,  "  There,  Gil  Bias,"  said  she, 
"  take  care  that  comes  to  Isabella's  hands  this  very  evening.  You 
comprehend  me  ?"  added  she,  with  a  glance  from  the  corner  of  her 
eye  which  admitted  of  no  doubtful  construction.  "Yes,  my  lord," 
answered  I,  "  your  commands  shall  be  executed  to  a  tittle." 


222  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

I  lost  no  time  in  taking  my  departure.  I  was  no  sooner  in  the 
street  than  I  said  to  myself,  "  80  ho  1  Master  Gil  Bias,  your  part, 
then,  is  that  of  the  intriguing  footman  in  this  comedy.  Well,  so  be 
it,  my  friend ;  show  that  you  have  wit  and  sense  enough  to  top  it 
over  the  favorite  actor  of  the  day.  Signer  Don  Felix  thinks  a  wink 
as  good  as  a  nod — a  high  compliment  to  the  quickness  of  your  appre- 
hension I  Is  he,  then,  in  an  error?  No.  His  hint  is  as  clear  as  day- 
light. Don  Lewis's  letter  is  to  drop  its  companion  by  the  way.  A 
lucid  exposition  of  a  dark  hieroglyphic,  enough  to  shame  the  dullness 
of  the  commentators."  The  sacredness  of  a  seal  could  never  stand 
against  this  bright  discovery.  Out  came  the  single  letter  of  Pa- 
checo,  and  away  went  I  to  hunt  after  Doctor  Murcia's  abode.  At 
the  very  threshold,  whom  should  I  meet  but  the  little  page  who  had 
been  at  our  lodging.  "  Comrade,"  said  I,  "  do  not  you  happen  to 
live  with  the  great  lawyer's  daughter?"  His  answer  was  in  the 
affirmative.  "  I  see  by  your  countenance,"  resumed  I,  "  that  you 
know  the  ways  of  the  world.  May  I  beg  the  favor  of  you  to  slip 
this  little  memorandum  into  your  mistress's  hand  ?" 

The  little  page  asked  me  on  whose  behalf  I  was  a  messenger.  The 
name  of  Don  Lewis  Pacheco  had  no  sooner  escaped  my  lips  than  he 
said  to  me,  "  Since  that  is  the  case,  follow  me ;  I  have  orders  to 
show  you  up ;  Isabella  wants  to  confer  with  you."  I  was  introduced 
at  once  into  a  private  apartment,  where  it  was  not  long  before  the 
lady  herself  made  her  appearance.  The  beauty  of  her  face  was  in- 
expressibly striking;  I  do  not  recollect  to  have  seen  more  lovely 
features.  Her  manner  was  somewhat  mincing  and  infantine,  and 
yet  for  all  that  it  had  been  thirty  good  years,  at  least,  since  she  had 
mewled  and  puked  in  her  nurse's  arms.  "  My  friend,"  said  she, 
with  an  encouraging  smile,  "  are  you  on  Don  Lewis  Pacheco's  estab- 
lishment?" I  told  her  I  had  been  in  office  for  three  weeks.  With 
this  I  fired  off  my  paper  popgun  against  her  peace.  She  read  it  over 
two  or  three  times,  but  if  she  had  rubbed  her  eyes  till  doomsday,  she 
would  have  seen  no  clearer.  In  point  of  fact,  nothing  could  be  more 
unexpected  than  so  cavalier  an  answer.  Up  went  her  eyes  towards 
the  heavens,  appealing  to  their  rival  luminaries.  The  ivory  fences 
of  her  pretty  mouth  committed  alternate  trespass  on  her  soft  and 
suffering  lips,  and  her  whole  physiognomy  bore  witness  to  the  pangs 
of  her  distressed  and  disappointed  heart.  Then,  coming  to  herself 
a  little,  and  recovering  her  speech,  "  My  friend,"  said  she,  "  has  Don 
Lewis  taken  leave  of  his  senses?  Tell  me,  if  you  can,  his  motive  for 
so  heroic  an  epistle.  If  he  is  tired  of  me,  well  and  good,  but  he 
might  have  taken  his  leave  like  a  gentleman." 

"  Madam,"  said  I,  "  my  master  most  assuredly  has  not  acted  as  I 
should  have  '^cted  in  his  place.     But  he  has  in  some  sort  been  com- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8.  223 

pelled  to  do  as  he  has  done.  If  you  would  give  me  your  word  to 
keep  the  secret,  I  could  unravel  the  whole  mystery."  "  You  have 
it  at  once,"  interrupted  she  with  eagerness ;  "  depend  on  it  you 
shall  be  brought  into  no  scrape  by  me ;  therefore,  explain  yourself 
without  reserve."  "  Well,  then,"  replied  I,  "  the  fact  is,  without 
paraphrase,  circumlocution,  loss  of  time,  or  perplexity  of  under- 
standing, as  I  shall  distinctly  state  in  two  short  words.  Not  half  a 
minute  after  the  receipt  of  your  letter,  there  came  into  our  house  a 
lady,  under  a  veil  as  impenetrable  as  the  purpose  was  dark.  She 
inquired  for  Signer  Pacheco,  and  talked  with  him  in  private  for 
some  time.  At  the  close  of  the  conversation,  I  overheard  her  saying 
'You  swear  to  me  never  to  see  her  more;  but  we  must  not  stop 
there  :  to  set  my  heart  completely  at  rest,  you  must  instantly  write 
her  a  farewell  letter  of  my  dictating.  You  know  my  terms.'  Don 
Lewis  did  as  she  desired  ;  then,  giving  the  result  into  my  custody, 
'Acquaint  yourself,'  said  he,  'where  Doctor  Murcia  de  la  Liana 
lives,  and  try  to  administer  this  love  potion  to  his  daughter 
Isabella.' 

"You  see  plainly,  madam,"  pursued  I,  "  that  this  uncivil  epistle 
is  a  rival's  handiwork,  and  that,  consequently,  my  master  is  not  so 
much  to  blame  as  he  appears."  "  Oh,  heaven  !"  exclaimed  she,  "  he 
is  more  so  than  I  was  aware  of.  His  words  might  have  been  the 
error  of  his  hand,  but  his  infidelity  is  the  offence  of  his  heart. 
Faithless  man !  Now  he  is  held  by  other  ties.  .  .  .  But,"  added  she, 
assuming  an  air  of  disdain,  "let  him  devote  himself  unconstrained 
to  his  new  passion ;  I  shall  never  cross  him.  Tell  him,  however, 
that  he  need  not  have  insulted  me.  I  should  have  left  the  course 
open  to  my  rival,  without  his  warning  me  from  the  field ;  for  so 
fickle  a  lover  has  not  soul  enough  about  him  to  pay  for  the  degrada- 
tion of  soliciting  his  return."  With  this  sentiment  she  gave  me 
my  dismissal,  and  retired  in  a  whirlwind  of  passion  against  Don 
Lewis. 

My  exit  was  conducted  entirely  to  my  own  satisfaction,  for  I  con- 
ceived that  with  due  cultivation  of  my  talent  I  might  in  time 
become  a  consummate  hypocrite  and  most  successful  cheat.  I  re- 
turned home  on  the  strength  of  it,  where  I  found  my  worthy  master 
Mendoza  and  Pacheco  supping  together,  and  rattling  away  as  if 
they  had  been  playfellows  from  their  cradles.  Aurora  saw  at  once, 
by  my  self-sufficient  air,  that  her  commission  had  not  b'^en  neglected 
in  my  hands.  "Here  you  are  again,  then,  Gil  Bias,"  said  she; 
"give  us  an  account  of  your  embassy."  Wit  and  invention  was  all 
I  had  to  trust  to,  so  I  told  them  I  had  delivered  the  packet  into 
Isabella's  own  hands,  who,  after  having  glanced  over  the  contents 
of  the  two  letters,  so  far  from  seeming  disconcerted,  burst  into  a  fit 


224  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  laughter,  as  if  she  had  been  mad,  and  said,  "  Upon  my  word,  our 
young  men  of  fashion  write  in  a  pretty  style.  It  must  be  owned 
they  are  much  more  entertaining  than  scribes  of  plebeian  rank." 
"  It  was  a  very  good  way  of  getting  out  of  the  scrape,"  exclaimed 
my  mistress;  "she  must  bean  arrant  coquette,"  "For  my  part," 
said  Don  Lewis,  "  I  cannot  trace  a  feature  of  Isabella  in  this  con- 
duct. Her  character  must  have  been  completely  metamorphosed  in 
my  absence."  "She  struck  me,  too,  in  a  very  different  light," 
replied  Aurora.  "  It  must  be  allowed  some  women  can  assume  all 
modes  and  fashions  at  will.  I  was  once  in  love  with  one  of  that 
description,  and  a  fine  dance  she  led  me.  Gil  Bias,  can  you  tell  the 
whole  story  ?  She  had  an  air  of  propriety  about  her  which  might 
have  imposed  upon  a  whole  synod  of  old  maids."  "  It  is  true,"  said 
I,  putting  in  my  oar ;  "  it  was  a  face  to  play  the  devil  with  a  sworn 
bachelor :  I  could  scarcely  have  been  proof  against  it  myself." 

The  personated  Mendoza  and  Pacheco  shouted  with  laughter  at 
my  manner  of  expressing  myself;  the  one  for  the  false  witness  I 
bore  against  a  culprit  of  my  own  creation ;  the  other  laughed  simply 
at  the  phrase  in  which  my  anathema  was  couched.  We  went  on 
talking  about  the  versatility  of  women ;  and  the  verdict,  after  hear- 
ing the  evidence,  all  on  one  side,  was  given  against  Isabella — a 
convicted  coquette ! — and  sentence  passed  on  her  accordingly.  Don 
Lewis  made  a  fresh  vow  never  to  see  her  more,  and  Don  Felix,  after 
his  example,  swore  to  hold  her  in  eternal  abhorrence.  By  dint  of 
these  mutual  protestations,  a  sort  of  friendship  was  established  on 
the  spur  of  the  occasion,  and  they  promised  on  both  sides  to  keep 
no  secrets  from  each  other.  The  time  after  supper  passed  in  ingra- 
tiating intercourse,  and  the  time  seemed  short  till  they  retired  to 
their  separate  apartments.  I  followed  Aurora  to  hers,  where  I  gave 
her  a  faithful  account  of  my  conversation  with  the  doctor's  daughter, 
not  forgetting  the  most  trivial  circumstance.  She  had  much  ado  to 
help  kissing  me  for  joy.  "  My  dear  Gil  Bias,"  said  she,  "  I  am 
delighted  with  your  spirit.  When  one  has  the  misfortune  to  be  en- 
gaged in  a  passion  not  to  be  gratified  but  by  stratagems,  what  an 
advantage  is  it  to  secure  on  the  right  side  a  lad  of  so  enterprising  a 
genius  as  yourslf.  Courage,  my  friend !  we  have  thrown  a  rival  into 
the  back  ground,  whose  presence  in  the  scene  might  have  marred 
our  comedy.  So  far,  all  is  well.  But  as  lovers  are  subject  to  strange 
vagaries,  it  seems  to  me  that  we  must  make  short  work  of  it,  and 
bring  Aurora  de  Guzman  on  the  stage  to-morrow."  The  idea  met 
with  my  entire  approbation  ;  so,  leaving  Signor  Don  Felix  with  his 
page,  I  withdrew  to  bed  in  an  adjoining  closet. 


The  Supper. 


p.  224. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  225 

CHAPTER   VI. 

aubora's  devices  to  secure  don  lewis  pacheco's  affections. 

THE  two  new  friends  met  as  soon  as  they  came  down  in  the 
morning.  The  ceremonies  of  the  day  began  with  reciprocal  em- 
braces, about  which  it  was  impossible  for  Aurora  to  be  squeamish, 
for  then  Don  Felix  must  have  dropped  the  mask  altogether.  They 
went  out  and  walked  about  town  arm  in  arm,  attended  by  Chilin- 
dron,  Don  Lewis's  footman,  and  myself.  We  loitered  about  the  gates 
of  the  university,  looking  at  some  posting-bills  and  advertisements 
of  new  publications.  There  were  a  good  many  people  amusing 
themselves,  like  us,  with  reading  over  the  contents  of  these  placards. 
Among  the  rest,  my  eye  was  caught  by  a  little  fellow  who  was 
giving  his  opinion  very  learnedly  on  the  works  exposed  for  sale. 
I  observed  him  to  be  heard  with  profound  attention,  and  could  not 
help  remarking  how  amply  he  deserved  it  in  his  own  opinion.  He 
was  evidently  a  complete  coxcomb,  of  an  arrogant  and  dictatorial 
stamp,  the  common  curse  of  your  gentry  under  size.  "  This  new 
translation  of  Horace,"  said  he,  "  announced  here  to  the  public  in 
letters  of  a  yard  long,  is  a  prose  work,  executed  by  an  old  college 
author.  The  students  have  taken  a  great  fancy  to  the  book,  so  as 
to  carry  off  four  editions ;  but  not  a  copy  has  been  bought  by  any 
man  of  taste !"  His  criticisms  were  scarcely  more  candid  on  any  of 
the  other  books :  he  mauled  them  every  one  without  mercy.  It  was 
easy  enough  to  see  he  was  an  author  1  I  should  not  have  been  sorry 
to  have  staid  out  his  harangue,  but  Don  Lewis  and  Don  Felix  were 
not  to  be  left  in  the  lurch.  Now,  they  took  as  little  pleasure  in  this 
gentleman's  remarks  as  they  felt  interest  in  the  books  which  he 
was  Scaligerizing,  so  that  they  took  a  quiet  leave  of  him  and  the 
university. 

We  returned  home  at  dinner-time.  My  mistress  sat  down  at 
table  with  Pacheco,  and  dexterously  turned  the  conversation  on 
her  private  concerns.  "  My  father,"  said  she,  "  is  a  younger  branch 
of  the  Mendoza  family,  settled  at  Toledo,  and  my  mother  is  own 
sister  to  Donna  Kimena  de  Guzman,  who  came  to  Salamanca  s<5me 
days  ago  on  an  affair  of  business,  with  her  niece  Aurora,  only 
daughter  of  Don  Vincent  de  Guzman,  whom  possibly  you  might 
be  acquainted  with."  "  No,"  answered  Don  Lewis ;  "  but  I  have 
often  heard  of  him,  as  well  as  of  your  cousin  Aurora.  Is  it  true 
what  they  say  of  her?  Her  wit  and  beauty  are  reported  to  be  un- 
rivalled." "As  for  wit,"  replied  Don  Felix,  "she  certainly  is  not 
wanting,  for  she  has  taken  great  pains  to  cultivate  her  mind ;  but 
15 


226  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

her  beauty  is  by  no  means  to  be  boasted  of— indeed  we  are  thought 
to  be  very  much  alike."  "  If  that  is  the  case,"  exclaimed  Pacheco, 
"she  cannot  be  behindhand  with  her  reputation.  Your  features  are 
regular,  your  complexion  almost  too  fine  for  a  man :  your  cousin 
must  be  an  absolute  enchantress.  I  should  like  to  see  and  converse 
with  her."  "  That  you  shall,  if  I  have  any  interest  in  the  family, 
and  this  very  day,  too,"  replied  the  little  Proteus  of  a  Mendoza. 
"  We  will  go  and  see  ray  aunt  after  dinner." 

My  mistress  took  the  first  opportunity  of  changing  the  topic  and 
conversing  on  indifferent  subjects.  In  the  afternoon,  while  the  two 
friends  were  getting  ready  to  go  and  call  on  Donna  Kimena,  I 
played  the  scout,  and  ran  before  to  prepare  the  duenna  for  her  visit- 
ors. But  there  was  no  time  to  be  lost  on  my  return,  for  Don  Felix 
was  waiting  for  me  to  attend  Don  Lewis  and  him  on  their  way  to 
his  aunt's.  No  sooner  had  they  stepped  over  the  threshold  than 
they  were  encountered  by  the  adroit  old  lady,  making  signs  to  them 
to  walk  as  softly  as  possible.  "  Hush !  hush !"  said  she,  in  a  low 
voice ;  "  you  will  waken  my  niece.  Ever  since  yesterday  she  has 
had  a  dreadful  headache,  but  is  just  now  a  little  better ;  and  the 
poor  girl  has  been  taking  a  little  sleep  for  the  last  quarter  of  an 
hour."  "  I  am  sorry  for  this  unlucky  accident,"  said  Mendoza ;  "  I 
was  in  hopes  we  should  have  seen  our  cousin ;  besides,  I  meant  to 
have  introduced  my  friend  Pacheco."  "There  is  no  such  great 
hurry  on  that  account,"  answered  Ortiz,  with  a  significant  smile ; 
"  and  if  that  is  all,  you  may  defer  it  till  to-morrow."  The  gentle- 
men did  not  trouble  the  old  lady  with  a  long  visit,  but  took  their 
leave  as  soon  as  they  decently  could. 

Don  Lewis  took  us  to  see  a  young  gentleman  of  his  acquaintance, 
by  name  Don  Gabriel  de  Pedros.  There  we  staid  the  remainder  of 
the  day,  and  took  our  suppers.  About  two  o'clock  in  the  morning 
we  sallied  forth  on  our  return  home.  We  had  got  about  half  way, 
when  we  stumbled  against  something  on  the  ground,  and  discovered 
two  men  stretched  at  their  length  in  the  street.  We  concluded  they 
had  fallen  under  the  knife  of  the  assassin,  and  stopped  to  assist 
them,  if  yet  within  reach  of  assistance.  As  we  were  looking  about 
to  inform  ourselves  of  their  condition  as  nearly  as  the  darkness  of 
th6  night  would  allow,  the  patrol  came  up.  The  officer  took  us  at 
first  for  the  murderers,  and  ordered  his  people  to  surround  us ;  but 
he  mended  his  opinion  of  us  on  the  sound  of  our  voices,  and  by 
favor  of  a  dark  lantern  held  up  to  the  face  of  Mendoza  and  Pacheco. 
His  myrmidons,  by  his  direction,  examined  the  two  men,  whom  our 
fancies  had  painted  as  in  the  agonies  of  death  ;  but  it  turned  out  to 
be  a  fat  licentiate  with  his  servant,  both  of  them  overtaken  in  their 
cups,  and  not  dead,  but  dead  drunk.     "  Gentlemen,"  exclaimed  one 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  227 

of  the  posse,  "this  jolly  fellow  is  an  acquaintance  of  mine.  What  I 
do  you  not  know  Signor  Guyomer  the  licentiate,  head  of  our  uni- 
versity ?  With  all  his  imperfections  he  is  a  great  character — a  man 
of  superior  genius.  He  is  as  staunch  as  a  hound  at  a  philosophical 
dispute,  and  his  words  flow  like  a  gutter  after  a  hailstorm.  He  has 
but  three  foibles  in  which  he  indulges :  intoxication,  litigation,  and 
fornication.  He  is  now  returning  from  supper  at  his  Isabella's, 
whence,  the  more  is  the  pity,  the  drunk  was  leading  the  drunk,  and 
they  both  fell  into  the  kennel.  Before  the  good  licentiate  came  to 
the  headship  this  happened  continually.  Though  manners  make 
the  man,  honors,  you  perceive,  do  not  always  mend  the  manners." 
We  left  these  drunkards  in  custody  of  the  patrol,  who  carried  them 
safe  home,  and  betook  ourselves  to  our  lodging  and  our  beds. 

Don  Felix  and  Don  Lewis  were  stirring  about  mid-day.  Aurora 
de  Guzman  was  the  first  topic  of  their  conversation.  "  Gil  Bias," 
said  my  mistress  to  me,  "  run  to  my  aunt,  Donna  Kimena,  and  ask 
if  there  is  any  admission  for  Signor  Pacheco  and  me  to-day,  we 
want  to  see  my  cousin."  Off  I  went  to  acquit  myself  of  this  com- 
mission, or  rather  to  concert  the  plan  of  the  campaign  with  the 
duenna.  We  had  no  sooner  laid  our  heads  together  to  the  purpose 
intended,  than  I  was  once  more  at  the  elbow  of  the  false  Mendoza. 
"Sir,"  quoth  I,  "your  cousin  Aurora  has  got  about  wonderfully. 
She  enjoined  me  from  her  own  lips  to  acquaint  you  that  your  visit 
could  not  be  otherwise  than  highly  acceptable,  and  Donna  Kimena 
desired  me  to  assure  Signor  Pacheco  that  any  friend  of  yours  would 
always  meet  with  a  hospitable  reception." 

These  last  words  evidently  tickled  Don  Lewis's  fancy.  My  mis- 
tress saw  that  the  bait  was  swallowed,  and  prepared  herself  to  haul 
the  prey  to  shore.  Just  before  dinner,  a  servant  made  his  appear- 
ance from  Signora  Kimena,  and  said  to  Don  Felix,  "  My  lord,  a  man 
from  Toledo  has  been  inquiring  after  you,  and  has  left  this  note  at 
your  aunt's  house."  The  pretended  Mendoza  opened  it,  and  read 
the  contents  aloud  to  the  following  effect :  "  If  your  father  and 
family  still  live  in  your  remembrance,  and  you  wish  to  hear  of 
their  concerns,  do  not  fail,  on  the  receipt  of  this,  to  call  at  the 
Black  Horse,  near  the  university."  "  I  am  too  much  interested," 
3aid  he,  "  in  these  proffered  communications,  not  to  satisfy  my  curi- 
osity at  once.  Without  ceremony,  Pacheco,  you  must  excuse  me  for 
the  present ;  if  I  am  not  back  again  here  within  two  hours,  you  may 
find  your  way  by  yourself  to  my  aunt's ;  I  will  join  the  party  in  the 
evening.  You  recollect  Gil  Bias'  message  from  Donna  Kimena; 
the  visit  is  no  more  than  what  will  be  expected  from  you."  After 
having  thrown  out  this  hint,  he  left  the  room,  and  ordered  me  to 
follow  him. 


228  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

•It  can  scarcely  be  necessary  to  apprise  the  reader,  that  instead  of 
inarching  down  to  the  Black  Horse,  we  filed  off  t<j  our  other  quar- 
ters. The  moment  that  we  got  within  doors,  Aurora  tore  off  her 
artificial  hair,  washed  the  charcoal  from  her  eyebrows,  resumed  her 
female  attire,  and  shone  in  all  her  natural  charms,  a  lovely,  dark- 
complexioned  girl.  So  complete,  indeed,  had  been  her  disguise  that 
Aurora  and  Don  Felix  could  never  have  been  suspected  of  identity. 
The  lady  seemed  to  have  the  advantage  of  the  gentleman  even  in 
stature,  thanks  tcf  a  good  pair  of  high  heels,  to  which  she  was  not  a 
little  indebted.  It  was  her  first  business  to  heighten  her  personal 
graces  with  all  the  embellishments  of  art;  after  which  she  looked 
out  for  Don  Lewis,  in  a  state  of  agitation,  compounded  of  fear  and 
hope.  One  instant  she  felt  confident  in  her  wit  and  beauty ;  the 
next,  she  anticipated  the  failure  of  her  attempt.  Ortiz,  on  her  part, 
set  her  best  foot  foremost,  and  was  determined  to  play  up  to  my 
mistress.  As  for  me,  Pacheco  was  not  to  see  my  knave's  face  till 
the  last  act  of  the  farce,  for  which  the  great  actors  are  always  re- 
served, to  unravel  the  intricacy  of  the  plot^  so  I  went  out  immedi- 
ately after  dinner. 

In  short,  the  puppet-show  was  all  adjusted  against  Don  Lewis's 
arrival.  He  experienced  a  very  gracious  reception  from  the  old 
lady,  in  amends  for  whose  tediousness  he  was  blessed  with  two  or 
three  hours  of  Aurora's  delightful  conversation.  When  they  had 
been  together  long  enough,  in  popped  I,  with  a  message  to  the 
enamored  spark.  . "  My  lord,  my  master  Don  Felix  begs  you  ten 
thousand  pardons,  but  he  cannot  have  the  pleasure  of  waiting  on 
you  here  this  evening.  He  is  with  three  men  of  Toledo,  from  whom 
he  cannot  possibly  get  away."  "  Oh,  the  wicked  little  rogue,"  ex- 
claimed Donna  Kimena ;  "  as  sure  as  a  gun,  then,  he  is  going  to 
make  a  night  of  it."  "  No,  madam,"  replied  I,  "  they  are  deeply 
engaged  in  very  serious  business.  He  is  really  distressed  that  he 
cannot  pay  his  respects,  and  commissioned  me  to  say  everything 
proper  to  your  ladyship  and  Donna  Aurora."  "  Oh !  I  will  have 
none  of  his  excuses,"  pouted  out  my  mistress ;  "  he  knows  very  well 
that  I  have  been  indisposed,  and  might  show  some  slight  degree  of 
feeling  for  so  near  a  relation.  As  a  punishment,  he  shall  not  come 
near  me  for  this  fortnight."  "Nay,  madam,"  interposed  Don  Lewis, 
"  such  a  sentence  is  too  severe.  Don  Felix's  fate  is  but  too  pitiable, 
in  having  been  deprived  of  your  society  this  evening." 

They  bandied  about  their  fine  speeches  on  these  little  topics  of 
gallantry  for  some  time,  and  then  Pacheco  withdrew.  The  lovely 
Aurora  metamorphosed  herself  in  a  twinkling,  and  resumed  her 
swashing  outside.  The  grass  did  not  grow  under  her  feet  while  she 
was  running  to  the  other  lodging.     "  I  have  a  million  apologies  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  229 

make,  my  dear  friend,"  said  she  to  Don  Lewis,  "  for  not  giving  you 
the  meeting  at  my  aunt's  ;  but  there  was  no  getting  rid  of  the  tire- 
some people  I  was  with.  However,  there  is  one  comfort,  you  have 
had  so  much  the  more  leisure  to  look  about  you  and  criticise  my 
cousin's  beauty.  Well,  and  how  do  you  like  her?"  "She  is  a 
most  lovely  creature,"  answered  Pacheco.  "  You  were  in  (he  right 
to  claim  a  resemblance  to  her.  I  never  saw  more  correspondent 
features :  the  very  same  cast  of  countenance,  the  eyes  exactly  alike, 
the  mouth  evidently  a  family  feature,  and  the  tone  of  voice  scarcely 
to  be  distinguished.  The  likeness,  however,  goes  no  further,  for 
Aurora  is  taller  than  you,  she  is  brown  and  you  are  fair,  you  are  a 
jolly  fellow,  she  has  a  little  touch  of  the  demure ;  so  that  you  are 
not  altogether  the  male  and  female  Sosias.  As  for  good  sense," 
continued  he,  "  if  an  angel  from  heaven  were  to  whisper  wisdom 
in  one  ear,  and  your  cousin  her  mortal  chit-chat  in  the  other,  I  am 
afraid  the  angel  might  whistle  for  an  audience.  In  a  word,  Aurora 
is  all-accomplished." 

Signor  Pacheco  uttered  these  last  words  with  so  earnest  an  ex- 
pression, that  Don  Felix  said  with  a  smile :  "  My  friend,  I  advise 
you  to  stay  away  from  Donna  Kimena's ;  it  will  be  more  for  your 
peace  of  mind.  Aurora  de  Guzman  may  set  your  wits  a  wandering, 
and  inspire  a  passion."  .  .  . 

"  I  have  no  need  of  seeing  her  again,"  interrupted  he,  "to  become 
distractedly  enamored  of  her."  "  I  am  sorry  for  you,"  replied  the 
pretended  Mendoza,  "  for  you  are  not  a  man  to  be  seriously  caught, 
and  my  cousin  is  not  to  be  made  a  fool  of,  take  my  word  for  it.  She 
would  never  encourage  a  lover  whose  designs  were  otherwise  than 
honorable."  "  Otherwise  than  honorable  I"  retorted  Don  Lewis ; 
"  who  could  have  the  audacity  to  form  such  on  a  lady  of  her  rank 
and  character  ?  As  for  me,  I  should  esteem  myself  the  happiest  of 
mankind,  could  she  be  prevailed  on  to  favor  my  addresses,  and  link 
her  fate  with  mine." 

"Since  those  are  your  sentiments,"  rejoined  Don  Felix,  "you 
may  command  my  services.  Yes,  I  will  go  heart  and  hand  with 
you  in  the  business.  All  my  interests  in  Aurora  shall  be  yours, 
and  by  to-morrow  morning  I  will  commence  an  attack  on  my  aunt, 
whose  good  word  has  more  influence  than  you  may  think."  Pacheco 
returned  his  thanks  with  the  best  air  possible  to  this  young  go- 
between,  and  we  were  all  agog  at  the  promising  appearance  of  our 
stratagem.  On  the  following  day  we  found  the  means  of  heighten- 
ing the  dramatic  effect  by  entangling  the  plot  a  little  more.  My 
mistress,  after  having  waited  on  Donna  Kimena,  as  if  to  speak  a 
good  word  in  favor  of  the  suitor,  came  back  with  the  result  of  the 
interview.    "  I  have  spoken  to  my  aunt,"  said  she,  "  but  it  was  a» 


230  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

mucli  as  I  could  do  to  make  her  hear  your  proposal  with  patience. 
She  was  primed  and  loaded  against  you.  Some  good-natured  friend 
in  the  dark  has  painted  you  out  for  a  reprobate ;  but  I  took  your 
part  with  some  little  quickness,  and  at  length  succeeded  in  vin- 
dicating your  moral  character  from  the  attack  it  had  sustained. 
This  is  not  all,"  continued  Aurora.  "  You  had  better  enter  on  the 
subject  with  my  aunt  in  my  presence;  we  shall  be  able  to  make 
something  of  her  between  us."  Pacheco  was  all  impatience  to  in- 
sinuate himself  into  the  good  graces  of  Donna  Kimena ;  nor  was  the 
opportunity  deferred  beyond  the  next  morning.  Our  amphibious 
Mendoza  escorted  him  into  the  presence  of  Dame  Ortiz,  where  such 
a  conversation  passed  between  the  trio  as  put  fire  and  tow  to  the 
combustible  heart  of  Don  Lewis.  Kimena,  a  veteran  performer, 
took  the  cue  of  sympathy  at  every  expression  of  tenderness,  and 
promised  the  enamored  youth  that  it  should  not  be  her  fault  if 
his  plea  with  her  niece  was  urged  in  vain.  Pacheco  threw  himself 
at  the  feet  of  so  good  an  aunt,  and  thanked  her  for  all  her  favors. 
In  this  stage  of  the  business  Don  Felix  asked  if  his  cousin  was  up. 
"  No,"  replied  the  duenna,  "  she  is  still  in  bed,  and  is  not  likely  to 
be  down  stairs  while  you  stay ;  but  call  again  after  dinner,  and  you 
shall  have  a  tete-d-tete  with  her  to  your  heart's  content."  It  is  easy 
to  imagine  that  so  coming  on  a  proposal  from  the  dragon  which  was 
to  guard  this  inaccessible  treasure,  produced  its  full  complement  of 
joy  in  the  heart  of  Don  Lewis.  The  remainder  of  the  long  morning 
had  nothing  to  do  but  to  be  sworn  at !  He  went  back  to  his  own 
lodging  with  Mendoza,  who  was  not  a  little  enraptured  to  observe, 
with  the  scrutinizing  eye  of  a  mistress  under  the  disguise  of  a  friend, 
all  the  symptoms  of  an  incurable  amorous  infirmity. 

Their  tongues  ran  on  no  earthly  subject  but  Aurora.  When  they 
had  done  dinner,  Don  Felix  said  to  Pacheco:  "A  thought  has  just 
struck  me.  It  would  not  be  amiss  for  me  to  go  to  my  aunt's  a  few 
minutes  before  you ;  I  will  get  to  speak  to  my  cousin  in  private, 
and  pry,  if  it  be  possible,  into  every  fold  and  winding  of  her  heart, 
as  far  as  your  interests  are  concerned."  Don  Lewis  just  chimed  in 
with  this  idea,  so  that  he  suffered  his  friend  to  set  out  first,  and  did 
not  follow  hira  till  an  hour  afterwards.  My  mistress  availed  hersel'' 
so  diligently  of  the  interval,  that  she  was  tricked  out  as  a  lady  from 
heel  to  point  before  the  arrival  of  her  lover.  "  I  beg  pardon,"  said 
the  poor  abused  inamorato,  after  having  paid  his  compliments  to 
Aurora  and  the  duenna,  "  I  took  it  for  granted  Don  Felix  would  be 
here."  "You  will  see  him  in  a  few  seconds,"  answered  Donna 
Kimena;  "he  is  writing  in  my  closet."  Pacheco  was  easily  put  off 
with  the  excuse,  and  found  his  time  pass  cheerfully  in  conversation 
with  the  ladies.     And  yet,  notwithstanding  the  presence  of  all  his 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  281 

Boul  held  dear,  it  seemed  very  strange  that  hour  after  hour  glided 
away  but  no  Mendoza  stepped  forth  from  the  closet !  He  could  not 
help  remarking,  that  the  gentleman's  correspondence  must  be  un- 
usually voluminous,  when  Auroi'a's  features  all  at  once  assumed  the 
broader  contour  of  a  laugh,  with  a  delightfully  provoking  question 
to  Don  Lewis :  "  Is  it  possible  that  love  can  be  so  blind  as  not  to 
detect  the  glaring  imposition  by  which  it  has  been  deluded  ?  Has 
my  real  self  made  so  faint  an  impression  on  your  senses,  that  a 
flaxen  peruke  and  a  pencilled  eyebrow  could  carry  the  farce  to  such 
a  height  as  this?  But  the  masquerade  is  over  now,  Pacheco,"  con- 
tinued she,  resuming  an  air  of  gravity;  "you  are  to  learn  that  Don 
Felix  de  Mendoza  and  Aurora  de  Guzman  are  but  one  and  the  same 
person," 

It  was  not  enough  to  discover  to  him  all  the  springs  and  contri- 
vances by  which  he  had  been  duped ;  she  confessed  the  motives  of 
tender  partiality  that  led  her  to  the  attempt,  and  detailed  the  pro- 
gress of  the  plot  to  the  winding  up  of  the  catastrophe.  Don  Lewis 
scarcely  knew  whether  to  be  most  astonished  or  delighted  at  the 
recital ;  at  my  mistress's  feet  he  thus  uttered  the  transports  of  his 
fond  applause:  "Ah!  lovely  Aurora,  can  I  believe  myself  indeed 
the  happy  mortal  on  whom  your  favors  have  been  so  lavished? 
What  can  I  do  to  make  you  amends  for  them?  My  affection,  were 
this  life  eternal,  could  scarcely  pay  the  price."  These  pretty 
speeches  were  followed  by  a  thousand  others  of  the  same  quality 
and  texture;  after  which,  the  lovers  descended  a  little  nearer  to 
common  sense,  and  began  planning  the  rational  and  human  means 
of  arriving  at  the  accomplishment  of  their  wishes.  It  was  resolved 
that  we  should  set  out  without  loss  of  time  for  Madrid,  where  mar- 
riage was  to  drop  the  curtain  on  the  last  act  of  our  comedy.  This 
purpose  was  executed  in  the  spirit  of  impatience  which  conceived 
it,  so  that  Don  Lewis  was  united  to  my  mistress  in  a  fortnight,  and 
the  nuptial  ceremonies  were  graced  with  the  usual  accompaniments 
of  music,  feasting,  balls,  and  rejoicings,  without  either  end  or  respite. 


282  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER   VII. 

GIL  BLAS  LEAVES  HIS  PLACE  AND  GOES  INTO  THE  SERVICE  OF  DON 
GONZALES  PACHECO. 

THREE  weeks  after  marriage,  my  mistress  bethonght  herself  of 
^rewarding  the  services  I  had  rendered  her.  She  made  me  a 
present  of  a  liundred  pistoles,  saying  to  me  at  the  same  time:  "  Gil 
Bias,  my  good  fellow,  it  is  not  that  I  mean  to  turn  you  away,  for 
you  have  my  free  leave  to  stay  here  as  long  as  you  please ;  but  my 
husband  has  an  uncle,  Don  Gonzales  Pacheco,  who  wants  you  very 
much  for  a  valet  de  chambre.  I  have  given  you  so  excellent  a 
character,  that  he  would  let  me  have  no  peace  until  I  consented  to 
part  with  you.  He  is  a  very  worthy  old  nobleman,  so  that  you  will 
be  quite  in  your  element  in  his  family." 

I  thanked  Aurora  for  all  her  kindness,  and,  as  my  occupation  was 
over  about  her,  I  so  much  the  more  readily  accepted  the  post  thafc 
offered,  as  it  was  merely  a  transfer  from  one  branch  of  the  Pachecos 
to  another.  One  morning,  therefore,  I  called  on  the  illustrious  Don 
Gonzales  with  a  message  from  the  bride.  He  ought  at  least  to  have 
overslept  himself,  for  he  was  in  bed  at  near  noon.  When  I  went 
into  his  chamber,  a  page  had  just  brought  him  a  basin  of  soup, 
which  he  was  taking.  The  dotard  cherished  his  whiskers,  or  rather 
tortured  them  with  curling-papers ;  though  his  eyes  were  sunk  in 
their  sockets,  his  complexion  pale,  and  his  visage  emaciated.  This 
was  one  of  those  old  codgers  who  have  been  a  little  whimsical  or  so 
in  their  youth,  and  have  made  poor  amends  for  their  freedoms  by 
the  discretion  of  their  riper  age.  His  reception  of  me  was  affable 
enough,  with  an  assurance  that  if  my  attachment  to  him  kept  pace 
with  my  fidelity  to  his  niece,  my  condition  should  not  be  worse  than 
that  of  my  fellows.  I  promised  to  place  him  in  my  late  mistress's 
shoes,  and  became  the  working  partner  in  a  new  firm. 

A  new  firm  it  undoubtedly  was,  and  heaven  knows  we  had  a 
strange  head  of  the  house.  The  resurrection  of  Lazarus  was  an 
ordinary  event  compared  to  his  getting  up.  Imagine  to  yourself  a 
long  bag  of  dry  bones,  a  mere  skeleton,  a  dissection,  an  anatomy  of 
a  man,  a  study  in  osteology !  As  for  the  legs,  three  or  four  pairs  of 
stockings,  one  over  the  other,  had  no  room  to  make  any  figure  upon 
them.  In  addition  to  the  foregoing,  this  mummy  before  death  was 
asthmatic,  and  therefore  obliged  to  divide  the  little  breath  he  had 
between  his  cough  and  his  loquacity.  He  breakfasted  on  chocolate. 
On  the  strength  of  that  refre^shment,  he  ventured  to  call  for  pen,  ink, 
and  paper,  and  to  write  a  short  note,  which  he  sealed  and  sent  to  its 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  233 

address  by  the  page  who  had  administered  the  broth.  "  But  this 
henceforth  will  be  your  office,  my  good  lad,"  said  he  aa  he  turned 
his  haggard  eyes  upon  me ;  "  all  my  little  concerns  will  be  in  your 
hands,  and  especially  those  in  which  Donna  Euphrasia  takes  an 
interest.  That  lady  is  an  enchanting  young  creature,  with  whom  I 
am  distractedly  in  love,  and  by  whom,  though  I  say  it,  who  should 
not  say  it,  I  am  met  with  all  the  mutual  ardor  of  inextinguishable 
and  unutterable  passion." 

"Heaven  defend  us!"  thought  I,  within  myself:  "good  now  1  if 
this  old  antidote  to  rapture  can  fancy  himself  an  object  on  which 
the  fair  should  waste  their  sweets,  is  it  any  wonder  that  among  our 
young  folks  each  fancies  himself  the  Adonis,  for  whom  every  Venus 
pines  ?"  "  Gil  Bias,"  pursued  he,  with  a  chuckle,  "  this  very  day  will 
I  take  you  to  this  abode  of  pleasure :  it  is  my  house  of  call  almost 
every  evening  for  a  bit  of  supper.  You  will  be  quite  petrified  at  her 
modest  appearance,  and  the  rigid  propriety  of  her  behavior.  Far 
from  taking  after  those  little  wanton  vagrants,  who  are  hey-go  mad 
after  striplings,  and  give  themselves  up  to  the  fascinations  of  ex- 
terior appearance,  she  has  a  proper  insight  into  things,  staid,  ripe, 
and  judicious :  what  she  wants  is  the  bond  fide  spirit  and  discretion 
of  a  man ;  a  lover  who  has  served  an  apprenticeship  to  his  trade,  in 
preference  to  all  the  flashy  fellows  of  the  modern  school."  This  is 
but  an  epitome  of  the  panegyric  which  the  noble  duke  Don  Gon- 
zales pronounced  upon  his  mistress.  He  burdened  himself  with  the 
task  of  proving  her  a  compendium  of  all  human  perfection ;  but  the 
lecture  was  little  calculated  for  the  conviction  of  the  hearer.  I  had 
attended  an  experimental  course  among  the  actresses ;  and  had 
always  found  that  the  elderly  candidates  had  been  plucked  in  their 
amours.  Yet,  as  a  matter  of  courtesy,  it  was  impossible  not  to  put 
on  the  semblance  of  giving  implicit  credit  to  my  master's  veracity ; 
I  even  added  chivalry  to  courtesy,  and  threw  down  my  glove  on 
Euphrasia's  penetration  and  the  correctness  of  her  taste.  My  im- 
pudence went  the  length  of  asserting,  that  it  was  impossible  for  her 
to  have  selected  a  better  provided  crony.  The  grown-up  simpleton 
was  not  aware  that  I  was  fumigating  his  nostrils  at  the  expense  of 
his  addled  brain  ;  on  the  contrary,  he  bristled  at  my  praises ;  so  true 
is  it,  that  a  flatterer  may  play  what  game  he  likes  against  the 
pigeons  of  high  life !  They  let  you  look  over  their  hand,  and  then 
wonder  that  you  beat  them 

The  old  crawler,  having  scribbled  through  his  billet-doux,  re- 
strained the  luxuriance  of  a  straggling  hair  or  two  with  his  tweezers; 
then  bathed  his  eyes  in  the  nostrum  of  some  perfumer  to  give  them 
a  brilliancy  which  their  natural  gum  would  have  eclipsed.  His  ears 
were  to  be  picked  and  washed,  and  his  hands  to  be  cleansed  from 


284  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  effects  of  his  other  ablutions  ;  and  the  labors  of  the  toilet  wore 
to  be  closed  by  pencilling  every  remaining  hair  in  the  disforested 
domain  of  his  whiskers,  pericranium,  and  eyebrows.  No  old  dow- 
ager, with  a  purse  to  buy  a  second  husband,  ever  took  more  pains 
to  assure  herself,  by  the  cultivation  of  her  charms,  that  the  person, 
and  not  the  fortune,  should  be  the  object  of  attraction.  The  assassin 
stab  of  time  was  parried  by  the  quart  and  tierce  of  art.  Just  as  he 
had  done  making  himself  up,  in  came  another  old  fogram  of  his 
acquaintance,  by  name  the  Count  of  Asumar.  This  genius  made 
no  secret  of  his  gray  locks ;  leaned  upon  a  stick,  and  seemed  to 
plume  himself  on  his  venerable  age,  instead  of  wishing  to  appear  in 
the  heydey  of  his  prime.  "  Signer  Pacheco,"  said  he  as  he  came 
in,  "  I  am  come  to  take  pot-luck  with  you  to-day."  "  You  are 
always  welcome,  count,"  rejoined  ray  master.  No  sooner  said  than 
done!  they  embraced  with  a  thousand  grimaces,  took  their  seats 
opposite  to  one  another,  and  began  chatting  till  dinner  was  served. 

Their  conversation  turned  at  first  upon  a  bull-feast  which  had 
taken  place  a  few  days  before.  They  talked  about  the  cavaliers,  and 
who  among  them  had  displayed  most  dexterity  and  vigor ;  where- 
upon the  old  count,  like  another  Nestor,  whom  present  events  fur- 
nished with  a  topic  of  expatiating  on  the  past,  said,  with  a  deep- 
drawn  sigh  :  "Alas!  where  will  you  meet  with  men,  nowadays,  fit  to 
hold  a  candle  to  my  contemporaries?  The  public  diversions  are  a 
mere  bauble  to  what  they  were  when  I  was  a  young  man."  I  could 
not  help  chuckling  in  my  sleeve  at  my  good  lord  of  Asumar's  whim  ; 
for  he  did  not  stop  at  the  handiwork  of  human  invention.  Would 
you  believe  it?  At  table,  when  the  fruit  was  brought  in,  at  the 
sight  of  some  very  fine  peache^  this  ungrateful  consumer  of  tlie 
earth's  produce  exclaimed :  "  In  my  time,  the  peaches  were  of  a 
much  larger  size  than  they  are  now ;  but  nature  sinks  lower  and 
lower  from  day  to  day."  "  If  that  is  the  case,"  said  Don  Gonzales 
with  a  sneer,  "Adam's  hot-house  fruit  must  have  been  of  a  most 
unwieldy  circumference." 

The  count  of  Asumar  stayed  till  quite  evening  with  my  master, 
who  had  no  sooner  got  rid  of  him,  than  he  sallied  forth  with  me  in 
his  train.  We  went  to  Euphrasia's,  who  lived  within  a  stone's 
throw  of  our  house,  and  found  her  lodged  in  a  style  of  the  first 
elegance.  She  was  tastefully  dressed,  and  for  the  youthfulness  of 
her  air  might  have  been  taken  to  be  in  her  teens,  though  thirty 
bonny  summers  at  least  had  poured  their  harvests  in  her  lap.  She 
had  often  been  reckoned  pretty,  and  her  wit  was  exquisite.  Neither 
was  she  one  of  your  brazen-faced  jilts,  with  nothing  but  flimsy  bal- 
derdash in  their  talk,  and  a  libertine  forwardness  in  their  manners: 
here  was  modesty  of  carriage  as  well  as  propriety  of  discourse ;  and 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  235 

she  threw  out  her  little  sallies  in  the  most  exquisite  manner,  with- 
out seeming  to  aspire  beyond  natural  good  sense.  "  Oh !  heaven  I" 
said  I,  "is  it  possible  that  a  creature  of  so  virtuous  a  stamp  by 
nature  should  have  abandoned  herself  to  vicious  courses  for  a  live- 
lihood ?"  I  had  taken  it  for  granted,  that  all  women  of  light  char- 
acter carried  the  mark  of  the  beast  upon  their  foreheads.  It  was  a 
surprise  therefore  to  see  such  apparent  rectitude  of  conduct ;  neither 
did  it  occur  to  me  that  these  hacks  for  all  customers  could  go  at  any 
pace,  and  assume  the  polish  of  well-bred  society,  to  impose  upon 
their  cullies  of  the  higher  ranks.  What  if  a  lively  petulance  should 
be  the  order  of  the  day?  they  are  lively  and  petulant.  Should 
modesty  take  its  turn  in  the  round  of  fashion,  nothing  can  exceed 
their  outward  show  of  prudent  and  delicate  reserve.  They  play 
the  comedy  of  love  in  many  masks ;  and  are  the  prude,  the  co- 
quette, or  the  virago,  as  they  fall  in  with  the  quiz,  the  coxcomb,  or 
the  bully. 

Don  Gonzales  was  a  gentleman  and  a  man  of  taste ;  he  could  not 
stomach  those  beauties  who  call  a  spade,  a  spade.  Such  were  not 
for  his  market ;  the  rites  of  Venus  must  be  consummated  in  the 
temple  of  Vesta.  Euphrasia  had  got  up  her  part  accordingly,  and 
proved  by  her  performance  that  there  is  no  comedy  like  that  of 
real  life.  I  left  my  master,  like  another  Numa  with  his  Egeria,  and 
went  down  into  a  hall,  where  whom  should  fortune  throw  in  my 
way  but  an  old  abigail  whom  I  had  formerly  known  as  maid-of-all- 
work  to  an  actress.  The  recognition  waa  mutual.  "  So !  well  met 
once  more,  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  said  she.  "  Then  you  have  turned  off 
Arsenia,  just  as  I  have  parted  with  Constance."  "Yes,  truly," 
answered  I,  "  it  is  a  long  while  ago  since  I  went  away,  and  ex- 
changed her  service  for  that  of  a  very  different  lady.  Neither  the 
theatre  nor  the  people  about  it  are  to  my  taste.  I  gave  myself  my 
own  discharge,  without  condescending  to  the  slightest  explanation 
with  Arsenia."  "  You  were  perfectly  in  the  right,"  replied  the 
new-found  abigail,  called  Beatrice.  "  That  was  pretty  much  my 
method  of  proceeding  with  Constance.  One  morning  early,  I  gave 
in  my  accounts  with  a  very  sulky  air ;  she  took  them  from  me  in 
moody  silence,  and  we  parted  in  a  sort  of  well-bred  dudgeon." 

"  I  am  quite  delighted,"  said  I,  "  that  we  have  met  again,  where 
we  need  not  be  ashamed  of  our  employers.  Donna  Euphrasia  looks 
for  all  the  world  like  a  woman  of  fashion,  and  I  am  much  deceived 
if  she  has  not  reputation  too."  "  You  are  too  clear-sighted  to  be 
deceived,"  answered  the  old  appendage  to  sin.  "  She  is  of  a  good 
family ;  and  as  for  her  temper,  I  can  assure  you  it  is  unparalleled 
for  evenness  and  sweetness.  None  of  your  termagant  mistresses, 
never  to  be  pleased,  but  always  grumbling  and  scolding  about 


236  AD7ENTVRES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

everything,  making  the  house  ring  with  their  clack,  and  fretting 
poor  servants  to  a  thread,  whose  places,  in  short,  are  a  hell  upon 
earth  1  I  have  not  in  all  this  time  heard  her  raise  her  voice  on  any 
occasion  whatever.  When  things  happen  not  to  be  done  exactly  in 
her  way,  she  sets  them  to  rights  without  any  anger,  nor  does  any  of 
that  bad  language  escape  her  lips,  of  which  some  high-spirited  ladies 
are  so  liberal."  "My  master,  too,"  rejoined  I,  "  is  very  mild  in  his 
disposition;  the  very  milk  of  human  kindntss;  and  in  this  respect 
we  are,  between  ourselves,  much  better  off  than  when  we  lived 
among  the  actresses."  "A  thousand  times  better,"  replied  Beatrice; 
"  my  life  used  to  be  all  bustle  and  distraction ;  but  this  place  is  an 
actual  hermitage.  Not  a  creature  darkens  our  doors  but  this  excel- 
lent Don  Gonzales.  You  will  be  my  only  helpmate  in  my  solitude, 
and  my  lot  is  but  too  greatly  blessed.  For  this  long  time  have  I 
cherished  an  affection  for  you ;  and  many  a  time  and  oft  have  I  be- 
grudged that  Laura  the  felicity  of  engrossing  you  for  her  sweetheart; 
but  in  the  end  I  hope  to  be  even  with  her.  If  I  cannot  boast  of 
youth  and  beauty  like  hers,  to  balance  the  account,  I  detest  co- 
quetry, and  have  all  the  constancy  as  well  as  affection  of  a  turtle- 
dove." 

As  honest  Beatrice  was  one  of  those  ladies  who  are  obliged  to 
hawk  their  wares,  and  cheapen  themselves  for  want  of  cheapeners 
in  the  market,  I  was  happily  shielded  from  any  temptation  to  break 
the  commandments.  Nevertheless,  it  might  not  have  been  prudent 
to  let  her  see  in  what  contempt  her  charms  were  held :  for  which 
reason  I  forced  my  natural  politeness  so  far,  as  to  talk  to  her  in  a 
style  not  to  cut  off  all  hope  of  my  more  serious  advances.  I  flattered 
myself  then  that  I  had  found  favor  in  the  eyes  of  an  old  dresser  to 
the  stage ;  but  pride  was  destined  to  have  a  fall,  even  on  so  humble 
an  occasion.  The  domestic  trickster  did  not  sharpen  her  allure- 
ments from  any  longing  for  my  pretty  person  ;  her  design  in  subdu- 
ing me  to  the  little  soft  god  was  to  enlist  me  for  the  purposes  of  her 
mistress,  to  whom  she  had  sworn  so  passive  an  obedience,  that  she 
would  have  sold  her  eternal  self  to  the  old  chapman  who  first  set  up 
the  trade  of  sin  rather  than  have  disappointed  her  slightest  wishes. 
My  vain  conceit  was  sufliciently  evident  on  the  very  next  morning, 
when  I  carried  an  Ovidian  letter  from  my  master  to  Euphrasia. 
The  lady  gave  me  an  affable  reception,  and  made  a  thousand  pretty 
speeches,  echoed  from  the  practiced  lips  of  her  chambermaid.  The 
expression  of  my  countenance  was  peculiarly  interesting  to  the  one, 
but  that  within  which  passeth  show  was  the  flattering  theme  of  the 
other.  According  to  their  account,  the  fortunate  Don  Gonzales  had 
picked  up  a  treasure.  In  short,  my  praises  ran  so  high,  that  I  began 
to  think  worse  of  myself  than  I  had  ever  done  in  the  whole  course 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  237 

of  my  life.  Their  motive  was  sufficiently  obvious ;  but  I  was  deter- 
mined to  play  at  diamond  cut  diamond.  The  simper  of  a  simpleton 
is  no  bad  countermine  to  the  attack  of  a  sharper.  These  ladies 
under  favor  were  of  the  latter  description,  and  they  soon  began  to 
open  their  batteries. 

"  Hark  you,  Gil  Bias  !"  said  Euphrasia ;  "  fortune  declares  in  your 
favor  if  you  do  not  balk  her.  Let  us  put  our  heads  together,  my 
good  friend.  Don  Gonzales  is  old,  and  a  good  deal  shaken  in  con- 
stitution ;  so  that  a  very  little  fever,  in  the  hands  of  a  very  great 
doctor,  would  carry  him  to  a  better  place.  Let  us  take  time  by  the 
forelock,  and  ply  our  arts  so  busily  as  to  secure  to  me  the  largest 
slice  of  his  effects.  If  I  prosper,  you  shall  not  starve,  I  promise  you, 
and  my  bare  word  is  a  better  security  than  all  the  deeds  and  convey- 
ances of  all  the  lawyers  in  Madrid."  "Madam,"  answered  I,  "you 
have  but  to  command  me.  Give  me  my  commission  on  your  muster- 
roll,  and  you  shall  have  no  reason  to  complain  either  of  my  cowardice 
or  contumacy."  "  So  be  it,  then,"  replied  she.  "  You  must  watch 
your  master,  and  bring  me  an  account  of  all  his  comings  and  goings. 
When  you  are  chatting  together  in  his  more  familiar  moments, 
never  fail  to  lead  the  conversation  on  the  subject  of  our  sex,  and 
then,  by  an  artful  but  seeminglj'  natural  transition,  take  occasion  to 
say  all  the  good  you  can  invent  of  me.  Eing  Euphrasia  in  his  ears 
till  all  the  house  reechoes.  I  would  counsel  you,  besides,  to  keep  a 
wary  eye  on  all  that  passes  in  the  Pacheco  family.  If  you  catch 
any  relation  of  Don  Gonzales  sneaking  about  him,  with  a  design  on 
the  inheritance,  bring  me  word  instantly ;  that  is  all  you  have  to 
do,  and  trust  me  for  sinking,  burning,  and  destroying  him  in  less 
than  no  time.  I  have  ferreted  out  the  weak  side  of  all  your  master's 
relations  long  ago ;  they  are  each  of  them  to  be  made  ridiculous  in 
some  shape  or  other,  so  that  the  nephews  and  cousins,  after  sitting 
to  me  for  their  portraits,  are  already  turned  with  their  faces  to  the 
wall," 

It  was  evident  by  these  instructions,  with  many  more  to  the  same 
time  and  tune,  that  Euphrasia  was  one  of  those  ladies  whose  par- 
tialities all  lean  to  the  side  of  elderly  inamoratos,  with  more  money 
than  wit.  Not  long  before,  Don  Gonzales,  who  could  refuse  nothing 
to  the  tender  passion,  had  sold  an  estate,  and  she  pocketed  the  cash. 
Not  a  day  passed  but  she  got  some  little  personal  remembrance  out 
of  him;  and  besides  all  this,  a  corner  of  his  will  was  the  ultimate 
object  of  her  speculation.  I  affected  to  engage  hand  over  head  in 
their  infamous  plot;  and  if  I  must  confess  all  without  mental  reser- 
vation, it  was  almost  a  moot  point,  on  my  return  home,  on  which 
side  of  the  cause  I  should  take  a  brief.  There  was  on  either  a  pro- 
fitable alternative, — whether  to  join  in  fleecing  my  master^  or  to 


238  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

merit  his  gratitude  by  rescuing  him  from  the  plunderers.  Con- 
science, however,  seemed  to  have  some  little  concern  in  the  determi- 
nation ;  it  was  quite  ridiculous  to  choose  the  by-path  to  villany 
when  there  was  a  better  toll  to  be  taken  on  the  highway  of  honesty. 
Besides,  Euphrasia  had  dealt  too  much  in  generals  ;  an  arithmeti- 
cal definition  of  so  much  for  so  much  has  more  meaning  in  it  than 
"  all  the  wealth  of  the  Indies ;"  and  to  this  shrewd  reflection,  per- 
haps, was  owing  my  uncorrupted  probity.  Thus  did  I  resolve  to 
signalize  my  zeal  in  the  service  of  Don  Gonzales,  in  the  persuasion 
that  if  I  was  lucky  enough  to  disgust  the  worshipper  by  befouling 
his  idol,  it  would  turn  to  very  good  account.  On  a  statement  of 
debtor  and  creditor  between  the  right  and  the  wrong  side  of  the 
action,  the  money  balance  was  visibly  in  favor  of  virtue,  not  to 
mention  the  delights  of  a  fair  and  irreproachable  character. 

If  vice  so  often  assumes  the  semblance  of  its  opposite,  why  should 
not  hypocrisy  now  and  then  change  sides  for  variety  ?  I  held  my- 
self up  to  Euphrasia  for  a  thorough  swindler.  She  was  dupe 
enough  to  believe  that  I  was  incessantly  talking  of  her  to  my 
master ;  and  thereupon  I  wove  a  tissue  of  frippery  and  falsehood, 
which  imposed  on  her  for  sterling  truth.  She  had  so  completely 
given  herself  up  to  my  insinuations,  as  to  believe  me  her  convert, 
her  disciple,  her  confederate.  The  better  still  to  carry  on  this  fraud 
upon  fraud,  I  affected  to  languish  for  Beatrice ;  and  she,  in  ecstasy 
at  her  age  to  see  a  young  fellow  at  her  skirts,  did  not  much  trouble 
herself  about  my  sincerity,  if  I  did  but  play  my  part  with  vigor  and 
address.  When  we  were  in  the  presence  of  our  princesses,  my 
master  in  the  parlor  and  myself  in  the  kitchen,  the  eifect  was  that 
of  two  different  pictures,  but  of  the  same  school.  Don  Gonzales, 
dry  as  touchwood,  with  all  its  inflammability,  and  nothing  but  its 
smother,  seemed  a  fitter  subject  for  extreme  unction  than  for  amor- 
ous parley ;  while  my  little  pet,  in  proportion  to  the  violence  of  my 
flame,  niggled,  nudged,  toyed,  and  romped,  like  a  school-girl  in 
vacation ;  and  no  wonder  she  knew  her  lesson  so  pat,  for  the  old 
coquette  had  been  upwards  of  forty  years  in  the  form.  She  had 
finished  her  studies  under  certain  professors  of  gallantry,  whose  art 
of  pleasing  becomes  the  more  critical  by  practice;  till  they  die 
under  the  accumulated  experience  of  two  or  three  generations. 

It  was  not  enough  for  me  to  go  every  evening  with  my  master  to 
Euphrasia's:  it  was  sometimes  my  lounge  even  in  daytime.  But 
let  me  pop  my  head  in  at  what  hour  I  would,  that  forbidden  crea- 
ture man  was  never  there,  nor  even  a  woman  of  any  description 
that  might  not  be  just  as  easily  expressed  as  understood.  There 
was  not  the  least  loop-hole  for  a  paramour  I — a  circumstance  not  a 
little  perplexing  to  one  who  could  not  readily  believe  that  so  pretty 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  239 

a  bale  of  goods  could  submit  to  a  strict  monopoly  by  such  a  dealer 
as  Don  Gonzales.  This  opinion  undoubtedly  was  formed  on  a  near 
acquaintance  with  female  nature,  as  will  be  apparent  in  the  sequel ; 
for  the  fair  Euphrasia,  while  waiting  for  my  master's  translation, 
fortified  herself  with  patience  in  the  arms  of  a  lover,  with  some  little 
felloAv-feeling  for  the  frailties  of  her  age. 

One  morning  I  was  carrying,  according  to  custom,  a  note  to  this 
peerless  pattern  of  perfection.  There  certainly  were,  or  I  was  not 
standing  in  the  room,  the  feet  of  a  man  ensconced  behind  the  tapes- 
try. Out  slunk  I,  just  as  if  I  had  no  eyes  in  my  head ;  yet,  though 
such  a  discovery  was  nothing  but  what  might  be  expected,  neither 
was  the  piper  to  be  paid  out  of  my  pocket ;  my  feelings  were  a  good 
deal  staggered  at  the  breach  of  faith.  "  Ah,  traitress !"  exclaimed 
I,  with  virtuous  indignation,  "  abandoned  Euphrasia !  Not  satisfied 
to  humbug  a  silly  old  gentleman  with  a  tale  of  love,  you  share  his 
property  in  your  person  with  another,  and  add  profligacy  to  dis- 
simulation !"  But  to  be  sure,  on  afterthoughts,  I  was  but  a  green- 
horn when  I  took  on  so  for  such  a  trivial  occurrence !  It  was  rather 
a  subject  for  mirth  than  for  moral  reflection,  and  perfectly  justified 
by  the  way  of  the  world ;  the  languid,  embargoed  commerce  of  my 
master's  amorous  moments  had  need  be  filliped  by  a  trade  in  some 
more  merchantable  wares.  At  all  events  it  would  have  been  better 
to  have  held  my  tongue,  than  to  have  laid  hold  on  such  an  oppor- 
tunity of  playing  the  faithful  servant.  But  instead  of  tempering 
my  zeal  with  discretion,  nothing  would  serve  the  turn  but  taking 
up  the  wrongs  of  Don  Gonzales  in  the  spirit  of  chivalry.  On  this 
high  principle,  I  made  a  circumstantial  report  of  what  I  had  seen, 
with  the  addition  of  the  attempt  made  by  Euphrasia  to  seduce  me 
from  my  good  faith.  I  gave  it  in  her  own  words  without  the  least 
reserve,  and  put  him  in  the  way  of  knowing  all  that  was  to  be 
known  of  his  mistress.  He  was  struck  all  in  a  heap  by  my  intelli- 
gence, and  a  faint  flash  of  indignation  on  his  faded  cheek  seemed  to 
give  security  that  the  lady's  infidelity  would  not  go  uri^iunished. 
"Enough,  Gil  Bias,"  said  he;  "I  am  infinitely  obliged  by  your 
attachment  to  my  service,  and  your  probity  is  very  acceptable  to 
me.  I  will  go  to  Euphrasia  this  very  moment.  I  will  overwhelm 
her  with  reproaches,  and  break  at  once  with  the  ungrateful  crea- 
ture." With  these  words,  he  actually  bent  his  way  to  the  subject 
of  his  anger,  and  dispensed  with  my  attendance,  from  the  kind 
motive  of  sparing  me  the  awkwardness  which  my  presence  during 
their  explanation  would  have  occasioned  to  my  feelings. 

I  longed  for  my  master's  return  with  all  the  impatience  of  an 
interested  person.  There  could  not  be  a  doubt  but  that  with  his 
strong  grounds  of  complaint,  he  would  return  completely  diaea- 


240  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

tangle<l  from  the  snares  of  his  nymph.  In  this  thought  I  extolled 
and  magnified  myself  for  my  good  deed.  What  could  be  more 
flattering  than  the  thanks  of  the  kindred  who  were  naturally  to 
inherit  after  Don  Gonzales,  when  they  should  be  informed  that 
their  relative  was  no  longer  the  puppet  of  a  figure-dance  so  hostile 
to  their  interests  ?  It  was  not  to  be  supposed  but  that  such  a  friend 
would  be  remembered,  and  that  my  merits  would  at  last  be  distin- 
guished from  those  of  other  serving-men,  who  are  usually  more 
disposed  to  encourage  their  masters  in  licentiousness,  than  to  draw 
them  off  to  habits  of  decency.  I  was  always  of  an  aspiring  temper, 
and  thought  to  have  passed  for  the  Joseph  or  the  Scipio  of  the 
servants'  hall ;  but  so  fascinating  an  idea  was  only  to  be  indulged 
for  an  hour  or  two.  The  founder  of  my  fortunes  came  home.  "  My 
friend,"  said  he,  "  I  have  had  a  very  sharp  brush  with  Euphrasia. 
She  insists  on  it  that  you  have  trumped  up  a  cock-and-bull  story. 
If  their  word  is  to  be  taken,  you  are  no  better  than  an  impostor,  a 
hireling  in  the  pay  of  my  nephews,  for  whose  sake  you  have  set  all 
your  wits  at  work  to  bring  about  a  quarrel  between  her  and  me.  I 
have  seen  the  real  tears,  made  of  water,  run  down  in  floods  from 
her  poor  dear  eyes.  She  has  vowed  to  me  as  solemnly  as  if  I  had 
been  her  confessor,  that  she  never  made  any  overtures  to  you  in 
her  life,  and  that  she  does  not  know  what  man  is.  Beatrice,  who 
seems  a  simple,  innocent  sort  of  girl,  is  exactly  in  the  same  story, 
so  that  I  could  not  but  believe  them  and  be  pacified,  whether  I 
would  or  no." 

"How  then,  sir?"  interrupted  I,  in  accents  of  undissembled  sor- 
row, "  do  you  question  my  sincerity  ?  Do  you  distrust."  ..."  No, 
my  good  lad,"  interrupted  he  again  in  his  turn ;  "  I  will  do  you 
ample  justice.  I  do  not  suspect  you  of  being  in  league  with  my 
nephews.  I  am  satisfied  that  all  you  have  done  has  been  for  my 
good,  and  own  myself  much  obliged  to  you  for  it ;  but  appearances 
are  apt  to  mislead,  so  that  perhaps  you  did  not  see  in  reality  what 
you  took  tt  into  your  head  that  you  saw ;  and  in  that  case,  only  con- 
sider yourself  how  offensive  your  charge  must  be  to  Euphrasia. 
Yet,  let  that  be  as  it  will,  she  is  a  creature  whom  I  cannot  help 
loving  in  spite  of  my  senses ;  so  that  the  sacrifice  she  demands  must 
be  made,  and  that  sacrifice  is  no  less  than  your  dismission.  I  lament 
it  very  much,  my  poor  dear  Gil  Bias,  and  if  that  will  be  any  satis- 
faction to  you,  my  consent  was  wrung  from  me  most  unwillingly; 
but  there  was  no  saying  nay.  With  one  thing,  however,  you  may 
comfort  yourself,  you  shall  not  be  sent  away  with  empty  pockets. 
Nay,  more,  I  mean  to  turn  you  over  to  a  lady  of  my  acquaintance, 
where  you  will  live  to  your  liking." 

I  was  not  a  little  mortified  to  find  all  my  noble  acts  and  motives 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  241 

end  in  my  own  confusion.  I  gave  a  left-handed  blessing  to  Euphra- 
sia, and  wept  over  the  weakness  of  Don  Gonzales,  to  be  so  foolishly 
infatuated  by  her.  The  kind-hearted  old  gentleman  felt  within  him- 
self that  in  turning  me  adrift  at  the  peremptory  demand  of  his  mis- 
tress, he  was  not  performing  the  most  manly  action  of  his  life.  For 
this  reason,  as  a  set-off  against  his  hen-pecked  cowardice,  and  that 
I  might  the  more  easily  swallow  this  bitter  dose,  he  gave  me  fifty 
ducats,  and  took  me  with  him  next  morning  to  the  Marchioness  of 
Chaves,  telling  that  lady  before  my  face,  that  I  was  a  young  man  of 
unexceptionably  good  character,  and  very  high  in  his  good  graces, 
but  that  as  certain  family  reasons  prevented  him  from  continuing 
me  on  his  own  establishment,  he  should  esteem  it  as  a  favor  if  she 
would  take  me  on  hers.  After  such  an  introduction,  I  was  retained 
at  once  as  her  appendage,  and  found  myself,  I  scarcely  know  how, 
established  in  another  household. 


CHAPTEK    VIII. 

THE  MARCHIONESS  OF  CHAVES;  HER  CHARACTER  AND  THAT  OF  HER 

COMPANY. 

THE  Marchioness  of  Chaves  was  a  widow  of  five  and  thirty,  tall, 
handsome,  and  well-proportioned.  She  enjoyed  an  income  of 
ten  thousand  ducats,  without  the  encumbrance  of  a  nursery.  I  never 
met  with  a  lady  of  fewer  words,  nor  one  of  a  more  solemn  aspect. 
Yet  this  exterior  did  not  prevent  her  from  being  set  up  as  the  clev- 
erest woman  in  all  Madrid.  Her  great  assemblies,  attended  by 
people  of  the  first  quality,  and  by  men  of  letters  who  made  a  coffee- 
house of  her  apartments,  contributed  perhaps  more  than  anything 
she  said  to  give  her  the  reputation  she  had  acquired.  But  this  is  a 
point  on  which  it  is  not  my  province  to  decide.  I  have  only  to 
relate  as  her  historian,  that  her  name  carried  with  it  the  idea  of 
superior  genius,  and  that  her  house  was  called,  to  distinguish  it 
from  the  ordinary  societies  in  town,  The  Fashionable  Institution  for 
Literature,  Taste  and  Science. 

In  point  of  fact,  not  a  day  passed  but  there  were  readings  there, 
sometimes  of  dramatic  pieces,  and  sometimes  in  other  branches  of 
poetry.  But  the  subjects  were  always  selected  from  the  graver 
muses ;  wit  and  humor  were  held  in  the  most  sovereign  contempt. 
Comedy,  however  spirited ;  a  novel,  however  pointed  in  its  satire 
16 


242  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

or  ingenious  in  its  fable,  such  light  productions  as  these  were  treated 
as  weak  efforts  of  the  brain,  without  the  slightest  claim  to  patron- 
age ;  whereas,  on  the  contrary,  the  most  microscopical  work  in  the 
serious  style,  whether  ode,  pastoral,  or  sonnet,  was  trumpeted  to  the 
skies  as  the  most  illustrious  effort  of  a  learned  and  poetical  age.  It 
not  unfrequently  fell  out,  that  the  public  reversed  the  decrees  of 
this  chancery  for  genius ;  nay,  they  had  sometimes  the  gross  ill- 
breeding  to  hiss  the  very  pieces  which  had  been  sanctioned  by  this 
court  of  criticism. 

I  was  chief  manager  of  the  establishment,  and  my  office  consisted 
in  getting  the  drawing-room  ready  to  receive  the  company,  in  set- 
ting the  chairs  in  order  for  the  gentlemen,  and  the  sofas  for  the 
ladies ;  after  which,  I  took  my  station  on  the  landing-place  to  bawl 
out  the'  names  of  the  visitors  as  they  came  up  stairs,  and  usher  them 
into  the  circle.  The  first  day,  an  old  piece  of  family  furniture,  who 
was  stationed  by  my  side  in  the  ante-chamber,  gave  me  their  de- 
scription with  some  humor,  after  I  had  shown  them  into  the  room. 
His  name  was  Andrew  Molina.  He  had  a  good  deal  of  mother's 
wit,  with  a  flowing  vein  of  satire,  much  gravity  of  sarcasm,  and  a 
happy  knack  at  hitting  off  characters.  The  first  comer  was  a  bishop. 
I  roared  out  his  lordship's  name,  and  as  soon  as  he  was  gone  in,  my 
nomenclator  told  me — "  That  prelate  is  a  very  curious  gentleman. 
He  has  some  little  influence  at  court,  but  wants  to  persuade  the 
world  that  he  has  a  great  deal.  He  presses  his  service  on  every  soul 
he  comes  near,  and  then  leaves  them  completely  in  the  lurch.  One 
day  he  met  with  a  gentleman  in  the  presence  chamber  who  bowed 
to  him.  He  laid  hold  of  him,  and  squeezing  his  hand,  assured  him, 
with  an  inundation  of  civilities,  that  he  was  altogether  devoted  to 
his  lordship.  '  For  goodness'  sake,  do  not  spare  me ;  I  shall  not  die 
in  my  bed  without  having  first  found  an  opportunity  of  making  you 
my  debtor.'  The  gentleman  returned  his  thanks  with  all  becoming 
expressions  of  gratitude,  and  when  they  were  at  some  distance  from 
one  another,  the  obsequious  churchman  said  to  one  of  his  attendants 
in  waiting,  *  I  ought  to  know  that  man ;  I  have  some  floating,  indis- 
tinct idea  of  having  seen  him  somewhere.' " 

Next  after  the  bishop  came  the  son  of  a  grandee.  When  I  had 
introduced  him  into  my  lady's  room,  "  This  nobleman,"  said  Molina, 
"  is  also  an  original  in  his  v/ay.  You  are  to  take  notice  that  he 
often  pays  a  visit  for  the  express  purpose  of  talking  over  some 
urgent  business  with  the  friend  on  whom  he  calls,  and  goes  away 
again  without  once  thinking  on  the  topic  he  came  solely  to  discuss. 
But,"  added  my  showman  on  the  sight  of  two  ladies,  "here  are 
Donna  Angela  de  Penafiel  and  Donna  Margaretta  de  Montalvan. 
This  pair  have  not  a  feature  of  resemblance  to  each  other.    Donna 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  243 

Margaretta  prides  herself  on  her  philosophical  acquirements ;  she 
will  hold  her  head  as  high  as  the  most  learned  head  among  the  doc- 
tors of  Salamanca,  nor  will  the  wisdom  of  her  conceit  ever  give  up 
the  point  to  the  best  reasons  they  can  render.  As  for  Donna  Angela, 
she  does  not  affect  the  learned  lady,  though  she  has  taken  no  unsuc- 
cessful pains  in  the  improvement  of  her  mind.  Her  manner  of 
talking  is  rational  and  proper,  her  ideas  are  novel  and  ingenious, 
expressed  in  polite,  significant,  and  natural  terms."  "This  latter 
portrait  is  delightful,"  said  I  to  Molina ;  "  but  the  other,  in  my 
opinion,  is  scarcely  to  be  tolerated  in  the  softer  sex."  "  Not  even 
bearable  indeed  I"  replied  he  with  a  sneer :  "  even  in  men  it  doea 
but  expose  them  to  the  lash  of  satire.  The  good  marchioness  her- 
self, our  honored  lady,"  continued  he,  "  she  too  has  a  sort  of  philoso- 
phical looseness.  There  will  be  fine  chopping  of  logic  there  to-day  I 
God  grant  the  mysteries  of  religion  may  not  be  invaded  by  these 
disputants." 

As  he  was  finishing  this  last  sentence,  in  came  a  withered  bit  of 
mortality,  with  a  grave  and  crabbed  look.  My  companion  showed 
him  no  mercy.  "  This  fellow,"  said  he„  "  is  one  of  those  pompous, 
unbending  spirits,  who  think  to  pass  for  men  of  profound  genius, 
under  favor  of  a  few  commonplaces  extracted  out  of  Seneca;  yet 
they  are  but  shallow  coxcombs  when  one  comes  to  examine  them 
narrowly."  Then  followed  in  the  train  a  spruce  figure,  with  toler- 
able person  and  address,  to  say  nothing  of  a  troubled  air  and  man- 
ner, which  always  supposes  a  plentiful  stock  of  self-suflSciency.  I 
inquired  who  this  was.  "A  dramatic  poet  I"  said  Molina.  "He 
has  manufactured  a  hundred  thousand  verses  in  his  time,  which 
never  brought  him  in  the  value  of  a  groat ;  but  as  a  set-off  against 
his  metrical  failure,  he  has  feathered  his  nest  very  warmly  by  six 
lines  of  humble  prose:  you  will  wonder  by  what  magic  touch  a 
fortune  could  be  made."  .  .  . 

And  so  I  did;  but  a  confounded  noise  upon  the  staircase  put 
verse  and  prose  completely  out  of  my  head.  "  Good  again  I"  ex- 
claimed my  informer;  "here  is  the  licentiate  Campanario.  He  is 
his  own  harbinger  before  ever  he  makes  his  appearance.  He  seta 
out  from  the  very  street  door  in  a  continued  volley  of  conversation, 
and  you  hear  how  the  alarm  is  kept  up  till  he  makes  his  retreat." 
In  good  sooth,  the  vaulted  roof  reechoed  with  the  organ  of  the 
thundering  licentiate,  who  at  length  exhibited  the  case  in  which 
the  pipes  were  contained.  He  brought  a  bachelor  of  his  acquaint- 
ance by  way  of  accompaniment,  and  there  was  not  a  sotio  voce  passage 
during  the  whole  visit.  "  Signor  Campanario,"  said  I  to  Molina, 
"  is  to  all  appearance  a  man  of  very  fine  conversation."  "  Yes," 
replied  my  sage  instructor,  "  the  gentleman  has  Ms  lucky  hits,  and 


244  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

a  sort  of  quaintness  that  might  pass  for  humor ;  he  does  very  well 
in  a  mixed  company.  But  the  worst-of  it  is,  that  incessant  talking 
is  one  of  his  most  pardonable  errors.  He  is  a  little  too  apt  to  bor- 
row from  himself;  and  as  those  who  are  behind  the  scenes  are  not 
to  be  dazzled  by  the  tinsel  of  the  property-man,  so  we  know  how  to 
separate  a  certain  volubility  and  buffoonery  of  manner  from  sterling 
wit  and  sense.  The  greater  part  of  his  good  things  would  be  thought 
very  bad  ones,  if  submitted,  without  their  concomitant  grimaces,  to 
the  ordeal  of  a  jest  book." 

Other  groups  passed  before  us,  and  Molina  touched  them  with  his 
wand.  The  marchioness,  too,  came  in  for  a  magic  rap  over  the 
knuckles.  "  Our  lady  patroness,"  said  he,  "  is  better  than  might 
be  expected  for  a  female  philosopher.  She  is  not  dainty  in  her 
likings ;  and  bating  a  whim  or  two,  it  is  no  hard  matter  to  give  her 
satisfaction.  Wits  and  women  of  quality  seldom  ajiproach  so  near 
the  atmosphere  of  good  sense ;  and  for  passion,  she  scarcely  knows 
what  it  is.  Play  and  gallantry  are  equally  in  her  black  books :  dear 
conversation  is  her  first  and  sole  delight.  To  lead  such  a  life  would 
be  little  better  than  penance  to  the  common  run  of  ladies."  Molina's 
character  of  my  mistress  established  her  at  once  in  my  good  graces. 
And  yet,  in  the  course  of  a  few  days,  I  could  not  help  suspecting 
that,  though  not  dainty  in  her  likings,  she  knew  what  passion  was, 
and  that  a  foul  copy  of  gallantry  delighted  her  more  than  the  fairest 
conversation. 

One  morning,  during  the  mysteries  of  the  toilet,  there  presented 
himself  to  my  notice  a  little  fellow  of  forty,  forbidding  in  his  aspect, 
more  filthy  if  possible  than  Pedro  de  Moya  the  book-worm,  and 
verging  in  no  marketable  measure  towards  deformity.  He  told  me 
he  wanted  to  speak  with  my  lady  marchioness.  "  On  whose  busi- 
ness ?"  quoth  I.  "  On  my  own,"  quoth  he,  somewhat  snappishly. 
"  Tell  her  I  am  the  gentleman ;  .  .  .  she  will  understand  you ;  .  .  . 
about  whom  she  was  talking  yesterday  with  Donna  Anna  de  Ve- 
lasco."  I  went  before  him  into  my  lady's  apartment,  and  gave  in 
his  name.  The  marchioness  all  at  once  shrieked  out  her  satisfac- 
tion, and  ordered  me  to  show  him  in.  It  was  not  courtesy  enough 
to  point  to  a  chair,  and  bid  him  to  sit  down :  but  the  attendants, 
forsooth,  her  own  maids  about  her  person,  were  to  withdraw,  so 
that  the  little  hunchback,  with  better  luck  than  falls  to  the  lot  of 
many  a  taller  man,  had  the  field  entirely  to  himself,  as  lord  para- 
mount. As  for  the  girls  and  myself,  we  could  not  help  tittering  a 
little  at  this  uncouthly  concerted  duet,  which  lasted  nearly  an  hour : 
when  my  patroness  dismissed  his  little  lordship,  with  such  a  pro- 
fusion of  farewells  and  God-be-with-you's,  as  sufficiently  evinced 
her  thankfulness  for  the  entertainments  she  had  received. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  245 

The  conversation  had,  in  fact,  been  so  edifying,  that  in  the  after- 
noon she  seized  a  private  opportunity  of  whispering  in  my  ear,  "  Gil 
Bias,  when  the  short  gentleman  comes  again,  you  may  show  him  up 
the  back  stairs ;  there  is  no  need  of  parading  him  along  a  line  of 
staring  servants."  I  did  as  I  was  ordered.  When  this  epitome  of 
humanity  knocked  at  the  door,  and  that  hour  was  no  farther  off  than 
the  next  morning,  we  threaded  all  the  by-passages  to  the  place  cf 
assignation.  I  played  the  same  modest  part  two  or  three  times  in 
the  very  innocence  of  my  soul,  without  the  most  distant  guess  that 
the  material  system  could  form  any  part  of  their  philosophy.  But 
that  hour.d-like  snuff  at  an  ill  construction,  with  which  the  devil  has 
armed  the  noses  of  the  most  charitable,  put  me  on  the  scent  of  a 
very  whimsical  game,  and  I  concluded  either  that  the  marchioness 
had  an  odd  taste,  or  that  crookback  courted  her  as  proxy  to  a  better 
man. 

"  Faith  and  troth,"  thgught  I,  with  all  the  impertinence  of  a  hasty 
opinion,  "  if  my  mistress  really  likes  a  handsome  fellow  behind  the 
curtain,  all  is  well ;  I  forgive  her  sins :  but  if  she  is  stark  mad  for 
such  a  monkey  as  this,.to  say  the  truth,  there  will  be  little  mercy  for 
her  on  male  or  female  tongues."  But  how  foully  did  I  defame  my 
honored  patroness  I  The  genius  of  magic  had  perched  herself  upon 
the  little  conjurer's  protuberant  shoulder ;  and  his  skill  having  been 
puffed  off  to  the  marchioness,  who  was  just  the  right  food  for  such 
jugglers  and  their  tricks,  she  held  private  conferences  with  him. 
Under  his  tuition  she  was  to  command  wealth  and  treasure,  to  build 
castles  in  the  air,  to  remove  from  place  to  place  in  an  instant,  to  re- 
veal future  events,  to  tell  what  is  done  in  far  countries,  to  call  the 
dead  out  of  their  graves,  and  terrify  the  world  with  many  miracles. 
Seriously,  and  to  give  him  his  deserts,  the  scoundrel  lived  on  the 
folly  of  the  public ;  and  it  has  been  confidently  asserted,  that  ladies 
of  fashion  have  not  in  all  ages  and  countries  been  exempt  from  the 
credulity  of  their  inferiors. 


246  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

AN     INCIDENT     THAT     PARTED     GIL    BLAS    AND    THE    MARCHIONESS    OF 
CHAVES.      THE  SUBSEQUENT  DESTINATION  OF  THE  FORMER. 

FOR  six  months  I  lived  with  the  Marchioness  of  Chaves,  and,  as 
it  must  be  admitted,  on  the  fat  of  the  land.  But  fate,  who 
thrusts  footmen  as  well  as  heroes  into  the  world,  with  herself  tied 
about  their  necks,  gave  me  a  jog  to  be  gone,  and  swore  that  I 
should  stay  no  longer  in  that  family  or  in  Madrid.  The  adventure 
by  which  this  decree  was  announced  shall  be  the  subject  of  the  en- 
suing narrative. 

In  my  mistress's  female  squad  there  was  a  nymph  named  Portia. 
To  say  nothing  of  her  youth  and  beauty,  it  was  her  meek  demeanor 
and  good  repute  that  captivated  me,  who  had  yet  to  learn  that  none 
but  the  brave  deserve  the  fair.  The  marchioness's  secretary,  as  proud 
as  a  prime  minister,  and  as  jealous  as  the  Grand  Turk,  was  caught 
in  the  same  trap  as  myself.  No  sooner  did  he  cast  an  unlucky 
squint  at  my  advances,  than,  without  waiting  to  see  how  Portia 
might  chance  to  fancy  them,  he  determined  pell-mell  to  have  a  tilt 
with  me.  To  forward  this  ghostly  enterprise,  he  gave  me  an  ap- 
pointment one  morning  in  a  place  sadly  impervious  to  all  seasona- 
ble interruption.  Yet  as  he  was  a  little  go-by-the-ground,  scarcely 
up  to  my  shoulders,  and  apparently  of  feeble  frame,  he  did  not  look 
like  a  very  dangerous  antagonist ;  so  away  I  went  with  some  little 
courage  to  the  appointed  spot.  Thinking  to  come  off  with  flying 
colors,  I  anticipated  the  effect  of  my  bravery  on  the  heart  of  Portia; 
but  as  it  turned  out,  I  was  gathering  my  laurels  before  they  had 
budded.  The  little  secretary,  who  had  been  practicing  for  two  or 
three  years  at  the  fencing-school,  disarmed  me  like  a  very  baby,  and 
holding  the  point  of  his  sword  up  to  my  throat,  "  Prepare  thyself," 
said  he,  "  to  balance  thine  accounts  with  this  world,  and  open  a  cor- 
respondence with  the  next,  or  give  me  thy  rascally  word  to  leave  the 
Marchioness  of  Chaves  this  very  day,  and  never  more  to  think  of  my 
Portia."  I  gave  him  my  rascally  word,  and  was  honest  enough  not 
to  think  of  breaking  it.  There  was  an  awkwardness  in  showing  my 
face  before  the  servants  of  the  family,  after  having  been  worsted ; 
and  especially  before  the  high  and  mighty  princess  who  had  been 
the  theme  of  our  tournament.  I  only  returned  home  to  get  together 
my  baggage  and  wages,  and  on  that  very  day  set  off  towards  Toledo, 
with  a  purse  pretty  well  lined,  and  a  knapsack  at  my  back  with  my 
wardrobe  and  movables.  Though  my  rascally  word  was  not  given 
to  abandon  the  purlieus  of  Madrid,  I  considered  it  as  a  matter  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  247 

delicacy  to  disappear,  at  least  for  a  few  seasons.  My  resolution  was 
to  make  the  tour  of  Spain,  and  to  halt  first  at  one  town  and  then  at 
another.  "  My  ready  money,"  thought  I,  "  will  carry  me  a  good 
way  :  I  shall  not  call  about  me  very  prodigally.  When  my  stock  is 
exhausted,  I  can  but  go  into  service  again.  A  lad  of  my  versatility 
will  find  places  in  plenty,  whenever  it  may  be  convenient  to  look 
out  for  them." 

It  was  particularly  my  wish  to  see  Toledo  :  and  I  got  thither  after 
three  days'  journey.  My  quarters  were  at  a  respectable  house  ot 
entertainment,  where  I  was  taken  for  a  gentleman  of  some  figure, 
under  favor  of  my  best  clothes,  in  which  I  did  not  fail  to  bedizen 
myself.  With  the  pick-tooth  carelessness  of  a  lounger,  the  afFecta- 
tion  of  a  puppy,  and  the  pertness  of  a  wit,  it  remained  with  me  to 
dictate  the  terms  of  an  arrangement  with  some  very  pretty  women 
who  infested  the  neighborhood ;  but,  as  a  hint  had  been  given  me 
that  the  pocket  was  the  high  road  to  their  good  graces,  my  amorous 
enthusiasm  was  a  little  flattered,  and,  as  it  was  no  part  of  my  plan 
to  domesticate  myself  in  any  one  place,  after  having  seen  all  the 
lions  at  Toledo,  I  started  one  morning  with  the  dawn,  and  took  the 
road  to  Cueu9a,  intending  to  go  to  Arragon.  On  the  second  day  I 
went  into  an  inn  which  stood  open  to  receive  me  by  the  road  side. 
Just  as  I  was  beginning  to  recruit  the  carnal  department  of  my 
nature,  in  came  a  party  belonging  to  the  Holy  Brotherhood.  These 
gentlemen  called  for  wine,  and  set  in  for  a  drinking  bout.  Over 
their  cups  they  were  conning  the  description  of  a  young  man,  whom 
they  had  orders  to  arrest.  "  The  spark,"  said  one  of  them,  "  is  not 
above  three  and  twenty  ;  he  has  long  black  hair,  is  well  grown,  with 
an  aquiline  nose,  and  rides  a  bay  horse." 

I  heard  their  talk  without  seeming  to  be  a  listener;  and,  in  fact, 
did  not  trouble  my  head  much  about  it.  They  remained  in  their 
quarters,  and  I  pursued  my  journey.  Scarcely  had  I  gone  a  quarter 
of  a  mile,  before  I  met  a  young  gentleman  on  horseback,  as  person- 
able as  need  be,  and  mounted  as  described  by  the  officers.  "  Faith 
and  troth,"  thought  I  within  myself,  "this  is  the  very  identical 
man.  Black  hair  and  an  aquiline  nose !  One  cannot  help  doing  a 
good  office  when  it  comes  in  one's  way."  "  Sir,"  said  I,  "  give  me 
leave  to  ask  you  whether  you  have  not  some  disagreeable  business 
on  your  hands?"  The  young  man,  without  returning  any  answer, 
looked  at  me  from  head  to  foot,  and  seemed  startled  at  my  question. 
I  assured  him  it  was  not  wanton  curiosity  that  induced  me  to  ad- 
dress him.  He  was  satisfied  of  that  when  I  related  all  I  had  heard 
at  the  inn.  "My  unknown  benefactor,"  said  he,  "I  will  not  deny 
to  you  that  I  have  reason  to  believe  myself  actually  the  person  of 
whom  the  officers  are  in  quest ;  therefore  I  shall  take  another  road 


248  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

to  avoid  them."  "  In  my  opinion,"  answered  I,  "  it  would  be  better 
to  look  out  for  a  spot  where  you  may  be  in  safety,  and  under  shelter 
from  a  storm  which  is  brewing,  and  will  soon  pour  down  upon  our 
heads."  Without  loss  of  time  we  discovered  and  made  for  a  row  of 
trees,  forming  a  natural  avenue,  which  led  us  to  the  foot  of  a  moun- 
tain, where  we  found  a  hermitage. 

There  was  a  large  and  deep  grotto  which  time  had  worn  away 
into  the  heart  of  the  rock ;  and  the  hand  of  man  had  added  a  rude 
front  built  of  pebbles  and  shell-work,  covered  all  over  with  turf. 
The  adjacent  grounds  were  strewed  with  a  thousand  sorts  of  flowers, 
which  scattered  their  perfume ;  and  one  was  pleased  to  see,  hard  by 
the  grotto,  a  small  fissure  in  the  mountain,  whence  a  spring  rippled 
Avith  a  tinkling  noise,  and  poured  its  pellucid  stream  along  the 
meadow.  At  the  entrance  of  this  solitary  abode  stood  a  venerable 
hermit,  seemingly  weighed  down  with  years.  He  supported  himself 
with  one  hand  upon  a  staff,  and  held  a  rosary  of  large  beads  with 
the  other,  composed  of  at  least  twenty  rows.  His  head  was  almost 
lost  in  a  brown  woollen  cap  with  long  ears ;  and  his  beard,  whiter 
than  snow,  swept  down  in  aged  majesty  to  his  waist.  We  advanced 
towards  him.  " Father,"  said  I,  "is  it  your  pleasure  to  allow  us 
shelter  from  the  threatening  storm  ?"  "  Come  in,  my  sons,"  replied 
the  hermit,  after  examining  me  attentively ;  "  this  hermitage  is  r.c 
your  service,  to  occupy  it  during  pleasure.  As  for  your  horse,'' 
-  added  he,  pointing  to  the  court-yard  of  his  mansion,  "he  will  be 
very  well  off  there."  My  companion  disposed  of  the  animal  accord- 
ingly, and  we  followed  the  old  man  into  the  grotto. 

No  sooner  had  we  got  in  than  a  heavy  rain  fell,  with  a  terrific 
storm  of  thunder  and  lightning.  The  hermit  threw  himself  upon 
his  knees,  before  a  consecrated  image,  fastened  to  the  wall,  and  we 
followed  the  example  of  our  host.  Our  devotions  ceased  with  the 
subsiding  of  the  storm;  but  as  the  rain  continued,  though  with 
diminished  violence,  and  night  was  not  far  distant,  the  old  man 
said  to  us,  "  My  sons,  you  had  better  not  pursue  your  journey  in 
such  weather,  unless  your  affairs  are  pressing."  We  answered  with 
one  consent  that  we  had  nothing  to  hinder  us  from  staying  there 
but  the  fear  of  incommoding  him  ;  but  that  if  there  was  room  foi- 
us  in  the  hermitage,  we  would  thank  him  for  a  night's  lodging. 
"You  may  have  it  without  inconvenience,"  answered  the  hermit, 
"at  least  the  inconvenience  will  be  all  your  own.  Your  accommo- 
dation will  be  rough,  and  your  meal  such  as  a  recluse  has  to  offer." 
With  this  cordial  welcome  to  a  homely  board,  the  holy  personage 
seated  us  at  a  little  table,  and  set  before  us  a  few  vegetables,  a  crust 
of  bread,  and  a  pitcher  of  water.  "  My  sons,"  resumed  he,  "  you 
behold  my  ordinary  fare,  but  to-day  I  will  make  a  feast  in  hospi- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  249 

tality  towards  you."  So  saying,  he  fetched  a  little  cheese  and  some 
nuts,  which  he  threw  down  upon  the  table.  The  young  man,  whose 
appetite  was  not  keen,  felt  but  little  tempted  by  his  entertainment. 
"I  perceive,"  said  the  hermit  to  him,  "that  you  are  accustomed  to 
better  tables  than  mine,  or  rather  that  sensuality  has  vitiated  your 
natural  relish.  I  have  been  in  the  world  like  you.  The  utmost 
ingenuity  of  the  culinary  art,  whether  to  stimulate  or  soothe  the 
palate,  was  exerted  by  turns  for  my  gratification.  But  since  I  have 
lived  in  solitude,  my  taste  has  recovered  its  simplicity.  Now,  vege- 
tables, fruit  and  milk  are  my  greatest  dainties ;  in  a  word,  I  keep 
an  antediluvian  table." 

While  he  was  haranguing  after  this  fashion,  the  young  man  fell 
into  a  deep  musing.  The  hermit  was  aware  of  his  inattention. 
"  My  son,"  said  he,  "  something  weighs  upon  your  spirits.  May  we 
not  be  informed  what  disturbs  you?  Open  your  heart  to  me.  Curi- 
osity is  not  my  motive  for  questioning  you,  but  charity,  and  a  desire 
to  be  of  service.  I  am  at  a  time  of  life  to  give  advice,  and  you 
perhaps  are  under  circumstances  to  stand  in  need  of  it."  "Yes, 
father,"  replied  the  gentleman  with  a  sigh,  "  I  doubtless  do  stand 
in  need  of  it,  and  will  follow  yours,  since  you  are  so  good  as  to  offer 
it ;  I  cannot  suppose  there  is  any  risk  in  unbosoming  myself  to  a 
man  like  you."  "No,  my  son,"  said  the  old  man,  "you  have 
nothing  to  fear,  it  is  under  more  stately  roofs  that  confidences  are 
betrayed."     On  this  assurance  the  cavalier  began  his  story. 


CHAPTER   X. 

THE  HISTOKY  OF  DON  ALPHONSO  AND  THE  FAIR  SERAPHINA. 

"  "T"  WILL  attempt  no  disguise  from  you,  my  venerable  friend, 
JL  nor  from  this  gentleman  who  completes  my  audience.  After 
the  generosity  of  his  conduct  towards  me,  I  should  be  in  the  wrong 
to  distrust  him.  You  shall  know  my  misfortunes  from  their  begin- 
ning. I  am  a  native  of  Madrid,  and  came  into  the  world  mysteri- 
ously. An  ofl5cer  of  the  German  guard,  Baron  Steinbach  by  name, 
returning  home  one  evening,  espied  a  bundle  of  fair  linen  at  the 
foot  of  his  staircase.  He  took  it  up  and  carried  it  to  his  wife's 
apartment,  where  it  turned  out  to  be  a  new-born  infant  wrapped  up 
in  very  handsome  swaddling-clothes,  with  a  note  containing  an 
assurance  that  it  belonged  to  persons  of  condition,  who  would  com© 


260  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

forward  and  own  it  at  some  future  period ;  and  the  further  inform- 
ation that  it  had  been  baptized  by  the  name  of  Alphonso,  I  was 
that  unfortunate  stranger  in  the  world,  and  this  is  all  that  I  know 
about  myself.  Whether  honor  or  profligacy  was  the  motive  of  the 
exposure,  the  helpless  child  was  equally  the  victim ;  whether  my 
unhappy  mother  wanted  to  get  rid  of  me,  to  conceal  an  habitual 
course  of  scandalous  amours,  or  whether  she  had  made  a  single  de- 
viation from  the  path  of  virtue  with  a  faithless  lover,  and  had  been 
obliged  to  protect  her  fame  at  the  expense  of  nature  and  the  maternal 
feelings. 

"  However  this  might  be,  the  baron  and  his  wife  were  touched  by 
my  destitute  condition,  and  resolved,  as  they  had  no  children  of 
their  own,  to  bring  me  up  under  the  name  of  Don  Alphonso.  As 
I  grew  in  years  and  stature,  their  attachment  to  me  strengthened. 
My  manners,  genteel  before  strangers  and  affectionate  towards  them, 
were  the  theme  of  their  fondest  panegyric.  In  short,  they  loved  me 
as  if  I  had  been  their  own.  Masters  of  every  description  were  pro- 
vided for  me.  My  education  became  their  leading  object;  and  far 
from  waiting  impatiently  till  my  parents  should  come  forward,  they 
seemed,  on  the  contrary,  to  wish  that  my  birth  might  always  re- 
main a  mystery.  As  soon  as  the  baron  thought  me  old  enough  to 
bear  arms,  he  sent  me  into  the  service.  With  my  ensign's  commis- 
sion, a  genteel  and  suitable  equipment  was  provided  for  me ;  and, 
the  more  effectually  to  animate  me  in  the  career  of  glory,  my  patron 
pointed  out  that  the  path  of  honor  was  open  to  every  adventurer, 
and  that  the  renown  of  a  warrior  would  be  so  much  the  more  credit- 
able to  me,  as  I  should  owe  it  to  none  but  myself.  At  the  same 
time  he  laid  open  to  me  the  circumstances  of  my  birth,  which  he 
had  hitherto  concealed.  As  I  had  passed  for  his  son  in  Madrid,  and 
had  actually  thought  myself  so,  it  must  be  owned  that  this  commu- 
nication gave  me  some  uneasiness.  I  could  not  then,  nor  can  I  even 
now,  think  of  it  without  a  sense  of  shame.  In  proportion  as  the  in- 
nate feelings  of  a  gentleman  bear  testimony  to  the  birth  of  one,  am 
I  mortified  at  being  rejected  and  renounced  by  the  unnatural 
authors  of  my  being. 

"  I  went  to  serve  in  the  Low  Countries,  but  peace  was  concluded 
in  a  short  time;  and  Spain  finding  herself  without  assailants,  though 
not  without  assassins,  I  returned  to  Madrid,  where  I  received  fresh 
marks  of  affection  from  the  baron  and  his  wife.  Rather  more  than 
two  months  after  my  return,  a  little  page  came  into  my  room  one 
morning,  and  presented  me  with  a  note  couched  nearly  in  the 
following  terms:  'I  am 'neither  ugly  nor  crooked,  and  yet  you 
often  see  me  at  my  window  without  the  tribute  of  a  glance.  This 
conduct  is  little  in  unison  with  the  spirit  of  your  physiognomy, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  251 

and  so  far  stings  me  to  revenge  that  I  will  make  you  love  me  if 
possible.' 

"  On  the  perusal  of  this  epistle,  there  could  be  no  doubt  but  it 
came  from  a  widow,  by  name  Leonora,  who  lived  opposite  our  house, 
and  had  the  character  of  a  very  great  coquette.  Hereupon  I  ex- 
amined my  little  messenger,  who  had  a  mind  to  be  on  the  reserve  at 
first,  but  a  ducat  in  hand  opened  the  floodgates  of  his  intelligence. 
He  even  took  charge  of  an  answer  to  his  mistress,  confessing  my 
guilt,  and  intimating  that  its  punishment  was  far  advanced. 

"  I  was  not  insensible  to  a  conquest  even  of  this  kind.  For  the 
rest  of  the  day,  home  and  my  window-seat  were  the  grand  attrac- 
tion ;  and  the  lady  seemed  to  have  fallen  in  love  with  her  window- 
seat  too.  I  made  signals.  She  returned  them  ;  and  on  the  very 
next  day  sent  me  word  by  her  little  Mercury,  that  if  I  would  be  in 
the  street  on  the  following  night  between  eleven  and  twelve,  I 
might  converse  with  her  at  a  window  on  the  ground  floor.  Though 
I  did  not  feel  myself  very  much  captivated  by  so  coming  on  a  kind 
of  widow,  it  was  impossible  not  to  send  such  an  answer  as  if  I  was ; 
and  a  sort  of  amorous  curiosity  made  me  as  impatient  as  if  I  had 
really  been  in  love.  In  the  dusk  of  the  evening,  I  went  sauntering 
up  and  down  the  Prado  till  the  hour  of  assignation.  Before  I  could 
get  to  my  appointment,  a  man  mounted  on  a  fine  horse  alighted 
near  me,  and  coming  up  with  a  peremptory  air,  '  Sir,'  said  he,  *  are 
not  you  the  son  of  Baron  Steinbach  ?'  I  answered  in  the  aflSrmative. 
'You  are  the  person  then,'  resumed  he,  '  who  were  to  meet  Leonora 
at  her  window  to-night?  I  have  seen  her  letters  and  your  answers; 
her  page  has  put  them  into  my  hands,  and  I  have  followed  you  this 
evening  from  your  own  house  hither,  to  let  you  know  you  have  a 
rival  whose  pride  is  not  a  little  wounded  at  a  competition  with  your- 
self in  an  afiair  of  the  heart.  It  would  be  unnecessary  to  say  more. 
We  are  in  a  retired  place ;  let  us  therefore  draw,  unless,  to  avoid 
the  chastisement  in  store  for  you,  you  will  give  me  your  word  to 
break  off  all  connection  with  Leonora.  Sacrifice  in  my  favor  all 
your  hopes  and  interest,  or  your  life  must  be  the  forfeit.'  *  It  had 
been  better,'  said  I, '  to  have  insured  my  generosity  by  good  manners, 
than  to  extort  my  compliance  by  menaces.  I  might  have  granted 
to  your  request  what  I  must  refuse  to  this  insolent  demand.' 

"  *  Well  then,'  resumed  he,  tying  up  his  horse  and  preparing  for 
the  encounter,  '  let  us  settle  our  dispute  like  men.  Little  could  a 
person  of  my  condition  have  stomached  the  debasement  of  a  request 
to  a  man  of  your  quality.  Nine  out  of  ten  in  my  rank  would,  under 
such  circumstances,  have  taken  their  revenge  on  terms  of  less  honor 
but  more  safety.'  I  felt  myself  exasperated  at  this  last  insinuation, 
80  that,  seeing  he  had  already  drawn  his  sword,  mine  did  not  linger 


252  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

in  the  scabbard.  We  fell  on  one  another  with  so  much  fury,  that 
the  engagement  did  not  last  long.  Whether  his  attack  was  made 
with  too  much  heat,  or  my  skill  in  fencing  was  superior,  he  soon 
received  a  mortal  wound.  He  staggered,  and  dropped  dead  upon 
the  spot.  In  such  a  situation,  having  no  alternative  but  an  imme- 
diate escape,  I  mounted  the  horse  of  my  antagonist,  and  went  off  in 
the  direction  of  Toledo.  There  was  no  venturing  to  return  to  Baron 
Steinbach's,  since,  besides  the  danger  of  the  attempt,  the  narrative 
of  my  adventure  from  my  own  mouth  would  only  afflict  him  the 
more,  so  that  nothing  was  so  eligible  as  an  immediate  decampment 
from  Madrid. 

"Chewing  the  cud  of  my  own  melancholy  reflection,  I  travelled 
onwards  the  remainder  of  the  night  and  all  the  next  morning.  But 
about  noon  it  became  necessary  to  stop,  both  for  the  sake  of  my 
horse  and  to  avoid  the  insupportable  fierceness  of  the  mid-day  heat. 
I  staid  in  a  village  till  sunset,  and  then,  intending  to  reach  Toledo 
without  drawing  bit,  went  on  my  way.  I  had  already  got  two 
leagues  beyond  lUescas,  when,  about  midnight,  a  storm  like  that  of 
to-day  overtook  me  as  I  was  jogging  along'  the  road.  There  was  a 
garden  wall  at  some  little  distance,  and  I  rode  up  to  it.  For  want 
of  any  more  commodious  shelter,  my  horse's  station  and  my  own 
were  arranged,  as  comfortably  as  circumstances  would  admit,  near 
the  door  of  a  summer-house  at  the  end  of  the  wall,  with  a  balcony 
over  it.  Leaning  against  the  door,  I  discovered  it  to  be  open,  owing, 
as  I  thought,  to  the  negligence  of  the  servants.  Having  dismounted, 
less  from  curiosity  than  for  the  sake  of  a  better  standing,  as  the  rain 
had  been  very  troublesome  under  the  balcony,  I  went  into  the 
lower  part  of  the  summer-house,  leading  my  horse  by  the  bridle. 

"My  amusement  during  the  storm  was  in  reconnoitering  my 
quarters ;  and  though  I  had  nothing  to  form  an  opinion  by,  but  the 
lurid  gleams  of  the  lightning,  it  was  very  evident  that  such  a  house 
must  belong  to  some  family  above  the  common.  I  was  waiting 
anxiously  till  the  rain  abated,  to  set  forward  again  on  my  journey  ; 
but  a  great  light  at  a  distance  made  me  change  my  purpose.  Leav- 
ing my  horse  in  the  summer-house,  with  the  precaution  of  fastening 
the  door,  I  made  for  the  light,  in  the  assurance  that  they  were  not 
all  gone  to  bed  in  the  house,  and  with  the  intention  of  requesting  a 
lodging  for  the  night.  After  crossing  several  walks,  I  came  to  a 
saloon,  and  here,  too,  the  door  was  left  open.  On  my  entrance,  from 
the  magnificence  so  handsomely  displayed  by  the  light  of  a  fine 
crystal  lustre,  it  was  easy  to  conclude  that  this  must  be  the  resi- 
dence of  some  illustrious  nobleman.  The  pavement  was  of  marble, 
the  wainscot  richly  carved  and  gilt,  the  proportions  of  architecture 
tastefiiUy  preserved,  and  the  ceiling  evidently  adorned  by  the  mas- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  258 

terpieces  of  the  first  artists  in  fresco.  But  what  particularly  engaged 
my  attention,  was  a  great  number  of  busts,  and  those  of  Spanish 
heroes,  supported  on  jasper  pedestals,  and  ranged  round  the  saloon. 
There  was  opportunity  enough  for  examining  all  this  splendor,  since 
there  was  not  even  a  foot-fall,  nor  the  shadow  of  any  one  gliding 
along  the  passage,  though  my  ears  and  eyes  were  incessantly  on  the 
watch  for  some  inhabitant  of  this  fairy  desert. 

"  On  one  side  of  the  saloon  there  was  a  door  ajar ;  by  pushing  it 
a  little  wider  open,  I  discovered  a  range  of  apartments,  with  a  light 
only  in  the  farthest.  What  is  to  be  done  now?  thought  I  within 
myself.  Shall  I  go  back,  or  take  the  liberty  of  marching  forward, 
even  to  that  chamber  ?  To  be  sure,  it  was  obvious  that  the  most 
prudent  step  would  be  to  make  good  my  retreat ;  but  curiosity  was 
not  to  be  repelled,  or  rather,  to  speak  more  truly,  my  star  was  in  its 
ascendant.  Advancing  boldly  from  room  to  room,  at  length  I 
reached  that  where  the  light  was.  It  was  a  wax  taper  on  a  marble 
slab,  in  a  magnificent  candlestick.  The  first  object  that  caught  my 
eye  was  the  gay  furniture  of  this  summer  abode ;  but  soon  after- 
wards, casting  a  look  towards  a  bed,  of  which  the  curtains  were  half 
undrawn  on  account  of  the  heat,  an  object  arrested  my  attention, 
which  engrossed  it  with  the  deepest  interest.  A  young  lady,  ia 
spite  of  the  thunderclaps  which  had  been  pealing  round  her,  was 
sleeping  there,  motionless  and  undisturbed.  I  approached  her  very 
gently,  and  by  the  light  of  the  taper  I  had  seized,  a  complexion  and 
features  the  most  dazzing  were  submitted  to  my  gaze.  My  spirit^ 
were  all  afloat  at  the  discovery.  A  sensation  of  transport  and  de- 
light came  over  me  ;  but  however  my  feelings  might  harass  my  own 
heart,  my  conviction  of  her  high  birth  checked  every  presumptuous 
hope,  and  awe  obtained  a  complete  victory  over  desire.  While  I 
was  drinking  in  floods  of  adoration  at  the  shrine  of  her  beauty,  the 
goddess  of  my  homage  awoke. 

"  You  may  well  suppose  her  consternation,  at  seeing  a  man,  an 
utter  stranger,  in  her  bed-chamber,  and  at  midnight.  She  was  ter- 
rified at  this  strange  appearance,  and  uttered  a  loud  shriek.  I  did 
my  best  to  restore  her  composure,  and  throwing  myself  on  my  knees 
in  the  humblest  posture,  '  Madam,'  said  I,  '  fear  nothing.  My  busi- 
ness here  is  not  to  hurt  you.'  T  was  going  on,  but  her  alarm  was  so 
great  that  she  was  incapable  of  hearing  my  excuses.  She  called  her 
women  with  a  most  vehement  importunity,  and  as  she  could  get  no 
answer,  she  threw  over  her  a  thin  night-gown  at  the  foot  of  the  bed, 
rushed  rapidly  out  of  the  room,  and  darted  into  the  apartments  I 
had  crossed,  still  calling  her  female  establishment  about  her,  as  well 
as  a  younger  sister  whom  she  had  under  her  care.  I  looked  for 
nothing  less  than  a  posse  of  strapping  footmen  who  were  likely, 


254  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

without  hearing  my  defence,  to  execute  summary  justice  on  so 
audacious  a  culprit ;  but  by  good  luck,  at  least  for  me,  her  cries 
were  to  no  purpose ;  they  only  roused  an  old  domestic,  who  would 
have  been  but  a  sorry  knight  had  any  ravisher  or  magician  invaded 
her  repose.  Nevertheless,  assuming  somewhat  of  courage  from  his 
presence,  she  asked  me  haughtily  who  I  was,  by  what  inlet  and  to 
what  purpose  I  had  presumptuously  gained  admission  into  her 
house.  I  then  began  to  enter  on  my  exculpation,  and  had  no  sooner 
declared  that  the  open  door  of  the  summer-house  in  the  garden  had 
invited  my  entrance,  than  she  exclaimed,  as  if  thunderstruck,  '  Just 
heaven  I  what  an  idea  darts  across  my  mind  I' 

"As  she  uttered  these  words,  she  caught  at  the  wax  light  on  the 
table ;  then  ran  through  all  the  apartments  one  after  another,  with- 
out finding  either  her  attendants  or  her  sister.  She  remarked,  too, 
that  all  her  personals  and  wardrobe  were  carried  off.  With  such  a 
comment  on  her  hasty  suspicions,  she  came  up  to  me,  and  said,  in 
the  hurried  accent  of  suspense  and  perturbation,  *  Traitor !  add  not 
hypocrisy  to  your  other  crimes.  Chance  has  not  brought  you  hither. 
You  are  in  the  train  of  Don  Ferdinand  de  Ley  va,  and  are  an  accom- 
plice in  his  guilt.  But  hope  not  to  escape ;  there  are  still  people 
enough  about  me  to  secure  you.'  '  Madam,'  said  I,  '  do  not  confound 
me  with  your  enemies.  Don  Ferdinand  de  Ley  va  is  a  stranger  to 
me  ;  I  do  not  even  know  who  you  are.  You  see  before  you  an  out- 
cast, whom  an  affair  of  honor  has  compelled  to  fly  from  Madrid ; 
and  I  swear  by  whatever  is  most  sacred  among  men,  that  had  not  a 
storm  overtaken  me,  I  should  never  have  set  my  foot  over  your 
threshold.  Entertain,  then,  a  more  favorable  opinion  of  me.  So 
far  from  suspecting  me  for  an  accomplice  in  any  plot  against  you, 
believe  me  ready  to  enlist  in  your  defence,  and  to  revenge  your 
wrongs.'  These  last  words,  and  still  more  the  sincere  tone  io  which 
they  were  delivered,  convinced  the  lady  of  my  innocence,  and  she 
seemed  no  longer  to  look  on  me  as  her  enemy ;  but  if  her  anger 
abated,  it  was  only  that  her  grief  might  sway  more  absolutely.  She 
began  weeping  most  bitterly.  Her  tears  called  forth  my  sympathy, 
and  my  affliction  was  scarcely  less  poignant  than  her  own,  though 
the  cause  of  this  contagious  sorrow  was  still  to  be  ascertained.  Yet 
it  was  not  enough  to  mingle  my  tears  with  hers ;  in  my  impatience 
to  become  her  defender  and  avenger,  an  impulse  of  terrific  fury 
came  over  me.  '  Madam,'  exclaimed  I,  '  what  outrage  have  you 
sustained  ?  Let  me  know  it,  and  your  injuries  are  mine.  Would 
you  have  me  hunt  out  Don  Ferdinand,  and  stab  him  to  the  heart? 
Only  tell  me  on  whom  your  justice  would  fall,  and  they  shall  suffer. 
You  have  only  to  give  the  word.  Whatever  dangers,  whatever  cer- 
tain evils  may  be  attendant  on  the  execution  of  your  orders,  the 


ADVENTVITES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  265 

unknown,  whom  you  thought  to  be  in  league  with  your  enemies, 
will  brave  them  all  in  your  cause. 

"  This  enraptured  devotion  surprised  the  lady,  and  stopped  the 
flowing  of  her  tears.  'Ah  1  sir,'  said  she,  '  forgive  this  suspicion, 
and  attribute  it  to  the  blindness  of  my  cruel  fate.  A  nobility  of 
sentiment  like  this  speaks  at  once  to  the  heart  of  Seraphina ;  and 
while  it  undeceives,  makes  me  the  less  repine  at  a  stranger  being 
witness  of  an  affront  offered  to  my  family.  Yes,  I  own  my  error, 
and  revolt  not,  unknown  as  you  are,  from  your  proffered  aid.  But 
the  death  of  Don  Ferdinand  is  not  what  I  require.'  '  Well,  then, 
madam,'  resumed  I,  '  of  what  nature  are  the  services  you  would 
enjoin  me?'  '  Sir,'  replied  Seraphina,  '  the  ground  of  my  complaint 
is  this.  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva  is  enamored  of  my  sister  Julia, 
whom  he  met  with  by  accident  at  Toledo,  where  we  for  the  most  part 
reside.  Three  months  since,  he  asked  her  in  marriage  of  the  Count 
de  Polan,  my  father,  who  refused  his  consent  on  account  of  an  old 
grudge  subsisting  between  the  families.  My  sister  is  not  yet  fifteen ; 
she  must  have  been  indiscreet  enough  to  follow  the  evil  counsels  of  my 
woman,  whom  Don  Ferdinand  has  doubtless  bribed :  and  this  daring 
ruffian,  advertised  of  our  being  alone  at  our  country-house,  has  taken 
the  opportunity  of  carrying  off  Julia.  At  least  I  should  like  to 
know  what  hiding-place  he  has  chosen  to  deposit  her  in,  that  my 
father  and  my  brother,  who  have  been  these  two  months  at  Madrid, 
may  take  their  measures  accordingly.  For  heaven's  sake,'  added 
she,  '  give  yourself  the  trouble  of  examining  the  neighborhood  of 
Toledo ;  an  act  so  heinous  cannot  escape  detection,  and  my  family 
will  owe  you  a  debt  of  everlasting  gratitude.' 

"The  lady  was  little  aware  how  unseasonable  an  employment  she 
was  thrusting  upon  me.  My  escape  from  Castile  could  not  be  too 
soon  effected  ;  and  yet  how  should  such  a  reflection  ever  enter  into 
her  head,  when  it  was  completely  superseded  in  mine  by  a  more 
■powerful  suggestion  ?  Delighted  at  finding  myself  important  to  the 
most  lovely  creature  in  the  universe,  I  caught  at  the  commission 
with  eagerness,  and  promised  to  acquit  myself  of  it  with  equal  zeal 
and  industry.  In  fact,  I  did  not  wait  for  daybreak,  to  go  about  ful- 
filling my  engagement.  A  hasty  leave  of  Seraphina  gave  me  occa- 
sion to  beg  her  pardon  for  the  alarm  I  had  caused  her,  and  to  assure 
her  that  she  should  speedily  hear  somewhat  of  my  adventure.  I 
went  out  as  I  came  in,  but  so  wrapped  up  in  admiration  of  the  lady, 
that  it  was  palpable  I  was  completely  caught.  My  sense  of  this 
truth  was  the  more  confirmed  by  the  eagerness  with  which  I  em- 
barked in  her  cause,  and  by  the  romantic,  gayly-colorcd  bubbles 
which  passion  blew.  It  struck  my  fancy  that  Seraphina,  though  en- 
grossed by  her  affliction,  had  remarked  the  hasty  birth  of  my  love, 


256  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

without  being  displeased  at  the  discovery.  I  even  flattered  myself 
that  if  I  could  furnish  her  with  any  certain  intelligence  of  her  sister, 
and  the  business  should  terminate  in  any  degree  to  her  satisfaction, 
my  part  in  it  would  be  remembered  to  my  advantage." 

Don  Alphonso  broke  the  thread  of  his  discourse  at  this  passage, 
and  said  to  our  aged  host,  "  1  beg  your  pardon,  father,  if  the  fullness 
of  my  passion  should  lead  me  to  dilate  too  long  upon  particulars, 
■wearisome  and  uninteresting  to  a  stranger."  "  No,  my  son,"  replied 
the  hermit,  "  such  particulars  are  not  wearisome :  I  am  interested  to 
know  the  state  and  progress  of  your  passion  for  the  young  lady  you 
are  speaking  of;  my  counsels  will  be  influenced  by  the  minute  de- 
tail you  are  giving  me." 

"  With  my  fancy  heated  by  these  seductive  images,"  resumed  the 
young  man,  "  I  was  two  days  hunting  after  Julia's  ravisher :  but  in 
vain  were  all  the  inquiries  that  could  be  made  ;  by  no  means  I  could 
devise  was  the  least  trace  of  him  to  be  discovered.  Deeply  mortified 
at  the  unsuccessful  issue  of  my  search,  I  bent  my  steps  back  to  Ser- 
aphina,  whom  I  pictured  to  myself  as  overwhelmed  with  uneasiness. 
Yet  she  was  in  better  spirits  than  might  have  been  expected.  She 
informed  me  that  her  success  had  been  better  than  mine ;  for  she 
had  learned  how  her  sister  was  disposed  of.  She  had  received  a  letter 
from  Don  Ferdinand  himself,  importing  that  after  being  privately 
married  to  Julia,  he  had  placed  her  in  a  convent  at  Toledo.  *  I  have 
sent  this  letter  to  my  father,'  pursued  Seraphina.  '  I  hope  the  affair 
may  be  adjusted  amicably,  and  that  a  solemn  marriage  will  soon 
extinguish  the  feuds  which  have  so  long  kept  our  respective  families 
at  variance.' 

"  When  the  lady  had  thus  informed  me  of  her  sister's  fate,  she 
began  making  an  apology  for  the  trouble  she  had  given  me,  as  well 
as  the  danger  into  which  she  might  imprudently  have  thrown  me, 
by  engaging  my  services  in  pursuit  of  a  ravisher,  without  recollect- 
ing what  I  had  told  her,  that  an  affair  of  honor  had  been  the  occa- 
sion of  my  flight.  Her  excuses  were  couched  in  such  flattering  terms, 
as  to  convert  her  very  oversight  into  an  obligation.  As  rest  was  de- 
sirable for  me  after  my  journey,  she  conducted  me  into  the  saloon, 
where  we  sat  down  together.  She  wore  an  undress  gown  of  white 
taffety  with  black  stripes,  and  a  little  hat  of  the  same  materials  with 
black  feathers ;  which  gave  me  reason  to  suppose  that  she  might  be 
a  widow.  But  she  looked  so  young,  that  I  scarcely  knew  what  to 
think  of  it. 

"  If  I  was  all  impatient  to  get  at  her  history,  she  was  not  less  so  to 
know  who  I  was.  She  besought  me  to  acquaint  her  with  my  name, 
not  doubting,  as  she  kindly  expressed  it,  by  my  noble  air,  and  still 
more  by  the  generous  pity  which  had  made  me  enter  so  warmly  into 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  267 

her  interests,  that  I  belonged  to  some  considerable  family.  The 
question  was  not  a  little  perplexing.  My  color  came  and  went,  my 
agitation  was  extreme :  and  I  must  own  that,  with  less  repugnance 
to  the  meanness  of  a  falsehood  than  to  the  acknowledgment  of  a  dis- 
graceful truth,  I  answered  that  I  was  the  son  of  Baron  Steinbach,  an 
officer  of  the  German  guard.  *  Tell  me,  likewise,'  resumed  the  lady, 
'  why  you  left  Madrid.  Before  you  answer  my  question,  I  will  insure 
you  all  my  father's  credit,  as  well  as  that  of  my  brother  Don  Gas- 
pard.  It  is  the  least  mark  of  gratitude  I  can  bestow  on  a  gentleman 
who,  for  my  service,  has  neglected  the  preservation  even  of  his  own 
life.'  Without  further  hesitation,  I  acquainted  her  with  all  the  cir- 
cumstances of  my  rencounter:  she  laid  the  whole  blame  on  my 
deceased  antagonist,  and  engaged  to  interest  all  her  family  in  my 
favor. 

"  When  I  had  satisfied  her  curiosity,  it  seemed  not  unreasonable 
to  plead  in  favor  of  my  own.  I  inquired  whether  she  was  maid,  wife, 
or  widow.  '  It  is  three  years,'  answered  she,  *  since  my  father  made 
me  marry  Don  Diego  de  Lara ;  and  I  have  been  a  widow  these  fif- 
teen months,'  'Madam,'  said  I,  'by  what  misfortune  were  your 
wedded  joys  so  soon  interrupted?'  'I  am  going  to  inform  you,  sir,' 
resumed  the  lady,  '  in  return  for  the  confidence  you  have  reposed  in 
me, 

"  '  Don  Diego  de  Lara  was  a  very  elegant  and  accomplished  gen- 
tleman :  but,  though  his  affection  for  me  was  extreme,  and  every  day 
was  witness  to  some  attempt  at  giving  me  pleasure,  such  as  the  most 
impassioned  and  most  tender  lover  puts  in  practice  to  win  the  smile 
of  her  he  loves ;  though  he  had  a  tlaousand  estimable  qualities,  my 
heart  was  untouched  by  all  his  merit.  Love  is  not  always  the  off- 
spring either  of  assiduity  or  desert.  Alas  1  we  are  often  captivated 
at  first  sight  by  we  know  not  whom,  nor  why,  nor  how.  To  love, 
then,  was  not  in  my  power.  More  disconcerted  than  gratified  by 
his  repeated  offices  of  tenderness,  which  I  received  with  a  forced 
courtesy,  but  without  real  pleasure,  if  I  accused  myself  in  secret  of 
ingratitude,  I  still  thought  myself  an  object  as  much  of  pity  as  of 
censure.  To  his  unhappiness  and  my  own,  his  delicacy  more  than 
kept  pace  with  his  affection.  Not  an  action  or  a  speech  of  mine, 
but  he  unravelled  all  its  hidden  motives,  and  fathomed  all  my 
thoughts,  almost  before  they  arose.  The  inmost  recesses  of  my  heart 
were  laid  open  to  his  penetration.  He  complained  without  ceasing 
of  my  indifference;  and  esteemed  himself  only  so  ra'uch  the  more 
unfortunate  in  not  being  able  to  please  me,  as  he  was  well  assured 
that  no  rival  stood  in  his  way ;  for  I  was  scarcely  sixteen  years  old  ; 
and,  before  he  paid  his  addresses  to  me,  he  had  tampered  with  my 
woman,  who  had  assured  him  that  no  one  had  hitherto  attracted  my 
17 


258  ADVENTURES  OF  UlL  BLAS. 

attention.  "  Yes,  Seraphina,"  he  would  often  say,  "  I  could  have 
been  contented  that  you  had  preferred  some  other  to  myself,  and  that 
there  were  no  more  fatal  cause  of  your  insensibility.  My  attentions 
and  your  own  principles  would  get  the  better  of  such  a  juvenile 
prepossession ;  but  I  despair  of  triumphing  over  your  coldness,  since 
your  heart  is  impenetrable  to  all  the  love  I  have  lavished  on  you." 
Wearied  with  the  repetition  of  the  same  strain,  I  told  him  that  in- 
stead of  disturbing  his  repose  and  mine  by  this  excess  of  delicacy, 
he  would  do  better  in  trusting  to  the  effects  of  time.  In  fact,  at  my 
age,  I  could  not  be  expected  to  enter  into  the  refinements  of  so  sen- 
timental a  passion ;  and  Don  Diego  should  have  waited,  as  I  warned 
him,  for  a  riper  period  and  more  staid  reflection.  But,  finding  that 
a  whole  year  had  elapsed,  and  that  he  was  no  further  advanced  in 
my  favor  than  on  the  first  day,  he  lost  all  patience,  or  rather,  his 
brain  became  distracted.  AflFecting  to  have  important  business  at 
court,  he  took  his  leave,  and  went  to  serve  as  a  volunteer  in  the  Low 
Countries ;  where  he  soon  found  in  the  chances  of  war  what  he  went 
to  seek,  the  termination  of  his  sufferings  and  of  his  life.' 

"  After  the  lady  had  finished  her  recital,  her  husband's  uncommon 
character  became  the  topic  of  our  discourse.  We  were  interrupted 
by  the  arrival  of  a  courier,  charged  with  a  letter  for  Seraphina  from 
the  Count  de  Polan.  She  begged  my  permission  to  read  it;  and  as 
she  went  on,  I  observed  her  to  grow  pale,  and  to  become  dreadfully 
agitated.  When  she  had  finished,  she  raised  her  eyes  upward, 
heaved  a  long  sigh,  and  her  face  was  in  a  moment  bathed  with  her 
tears.  Her  sorrow  sat  heavily  on  my  feelings.  My  spirits  were 
greatly  disturbed ;  and,  as  if  it  were  a  forewarning  of  the  blow  inv 
pending  over  my  head,  a  death-like  shudder  crept  through  my  frame, 
and  my  faculties  were  all  benumbed,  '  Madam,'  said  I,  in  accents 
half  choked  with  apprehension,  '  may  I  ask  of  what  dire  events  that 
letter  brings  the  tidings  ?'  '  Take  it,  sir,'  answered  Seraphina  most 
dolefully,  while  she  held  out  the  letter  to  me.  *  Read  for  yourself 
what  my  father  has  written.  Alas  I  you  are  but  too  deeply  concerned 
in  the  contents.' 

"At  these  words,'which  made  my  blood  run  cold,  I  took  the  letter 
with  a  trembling  hand,  and  found  in  it  the  following  intelligence : 
'  Your  brother,  Don  Gaspard,  fought  yesterday  at  the  Prado.  He 
received  a  small  sword  wound,  of  which  he  died  this  day  ;  and  de- 
clared before  he  breathed  his  last  that  his  antagonist  was  the  son  of 
Baron  Stcinbach,  an  oflicer  of  the  German  guard.  As  misfortunes 
never  come  alone,  the  murderer  has  eluded  my  vengeance  by  flight ; 
but  wherever  he  may  have  concealed  himself,  no  pains  shall  be 
spared  to  hunt  him  out.  I  am  going  to  write  to  the  magistrates  all 
roun4  the  countf^,  wl;q  wlU  flot  fail  \o.  ti^ke  JiiiR  jntQ  pustody,  if  he 


ADVENTURES  OF  QIL  BLAS.  259 

passes  througli  any  of  the  towns  in  their  jurisdiction,  and  by  the 
notices  I  am  going  to  circulate,  I  hope  to  cut  off  his  retreat  in  the 
country  or  at  the  seaports. — The  Count  de  Polan.' 

"  Conceive  into  what  a  ferment  this  letter  threw  all  my  thoughts. 
I  remained  for  some  moments  motionless  and  without  the  power  of 
speech.  '  In  the  midst  of  my  confusion,  I  too  plainly  saw  the  de- 
structive bearing  of  Don  Gaspard's  death  on  the  passion  I  had  im- 
bibed. My  despair  was  unbounded  at  the  thought.  I  threw  myself 
at  Seraphina's  feet,  and  offering  her  my  naked  sword,  '  Madam,'  said 
I,  '  spare  the  Count  de  Polan  the  necessity  of  seeking  farther  for  a 
man  who  might  possibly  withdraw  himself  from  his  resentment. 
Be  yourself  the  avenger  of  your  brother :  offer  up  his  murderer  as 
the  victim  of  your  own  hand :  now,  strike  the  blow.  Let  this  very 
weapon,  which  terminated  his  life,  cut  short  the  sad  remnant  of  his 
adversary's  days.'  *  Sir,'  answered  Seraphina,  a  little  softened  by 
my  behavior,  '  I  loved  Don  Gaspard,  so  that  though  you  killed  him 
in  fair  and  manly  hostility,  and  though  he  brought  his  death  upon 
himself,  you  may  rest  assured  that  I  take  up  my  father's  quarrel. 
Yes,  Don  Alphonso,  I  am  your  decided  enemy,  and  will  do  against 
you  all  that  the  ties  of  blood  and  friendship  require  at  my  hands. 
But  I  will  not  take  advantage  of  your  evil  star :  in  vain  has  it  de- 
livered you  into  my  grasp :  if  honor  arms  me  against  you,  the  same 
sentiment  forbids  to  pursue  a  cowardly  revenge.  The  rights  of  hos- 
pitality must  be  inviolable,  and  I  will  not  repay  such  service  as  you 
have  rendered  me  with  the  treachery  of  an  assassin.  Fly !  make 
your  escape,  if  you  can,  from  our  pursuit  and  from  the  rigor  of  the 
laws,  and  save  your  forfeit  life  from  the  dangers  that  beset  it.' 

" '  What  then,  madam,'  returned  I,  '  when  vengeance  is  in  your 
own  hands,  do  you  turn  it  over  to  the  laws,  which  may,  perhaps,  be 
too  slow  for  your  impatience?  Nay!  rather  stab  a  wretch  who  is 
not  worthy  of  your  forbearance.  No,  madam,  maintain  not  so  noble 
and  so  generous  a  proceeding  with  one  like  me.  Do  you  know  who 
I  am  ?  All  Madrid  takes  me  for  Baron  Steinbach's  son ;  yet  am  I 
nothing  better  than  a  foundling,  whom  he  brought  up  from  charity. 
I  know  not  even  who  were  guilty  of  my  existence.'  '  No  matter,' 
interrupted  Seraphina,  with  precipitation,  as  if  my  last  words  had 
given  her  new  uneasiness,  '  though  you  were  the  lowest  of  mankind 
I  would  do  what  honor  bids.'  'Well,  madam,'  said  I,  'since  a 
brother's  death  is  insufficient  to  excite  your  thirst  after  my  blood,  I 
will  exasperate  your  hatred  still  further  by  a  new  offence,  of  which 
I  trust  you  will  never  pardon  the  boldness.  I  dote  on  you :  I  could 
not  behold  your  charms  without  being  dazzled  by  them :  and,  in 
spite  of  the  cloud  in  which  my  destiny  was  enveloped,  I  had  cher- 
ished the  hope  of  being  united  to  you.    I  was  so  infatuated  by  my 


260  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

passion,  or  rather  by  my  pride,  as  to  flatter  myself  that  Heaven, 
which  perhaps  conceals  from  me  my  birth  in  mercy,  might  discover 
it  one  day,  and  enable  me  without  a  blush  to  acquaint  you  with  my 
real  name.  After  this  injurious  avowal,  can  you  hesitate  a  moment 
about  punishing  me?' 

"  *  This  rash  declaration,'  replied  the  lady, '  would  doubtless  prove 
offensive  at  any  other  season ;  but  I  forgive  it  in  consideration  of 
the  trouble  which  bewilders  you.  Besides,  my  own  condition  so 
engrosses  me,  as  to  render  me  deaf  to  any  strange  ideas  that  may 
escape  you.  Once  more,  Don  Alphonso,'  added  she,  shedding  tears, 
'  begone  far  from  a  house  which  you  have  cast  into  mourning ;  every 
moment  of  your  longer  stay  adds  pungency  to  my  distress.'  '  I  no 
longer  oppose  your  will,  madam,'  returned  I,  preparing  to  take  my 
leave:  'absence  from  you  must  then  be  my  portion;  but  do  not 
suppose  that,  anxious  for  the  preservation  of  a  life  which  is  become 
hateful  to  you,  I  go  to  seek  an  asylum  where  I  may  be  sheltered 
from  your  search.  No,  no ;  I  bare  my  breast  to  your  resentment. 
I  shall  wait  with  impatience  at  Toledo  for  the  fate  which  you  design 
me ;  and  by  surrendering  at  once  to  my  pursuers,  shall  myself  for- 
ward the  completion  of  my  miseries.' 

"At  the  conclusion  of  this  speech  I  withdrew.  My  horse  was 
returned  to  me,  and  I  went  to  Toledo,  where  I  abode  eight  days, 
and  really  with  so  little  care  to  conceal  myself,  that  I  know  not 
how  or  why  I  have  escaped  an,  arrest ;  for  I  cannot  suppose  that  the 
Count  de  Polan,  whose  whole  soul  is  set  on  cutting  off  my  retreat, 
should  not  have  been  aware  that  I  was  likely  to  pass  through 
Toledo,  Yesterday  I  left  that  town,  where  it  should  seem  as  if  I 
was  tired  of  my  liberty,  and  without  betaking  myself  to  any  fixed 
course  of  travelling,  I  came  to  this  hermitage,  like  a  man  who  had 
no  reason  to  be  ashamed  of  showing  himself.  Such,  father,  was  the 
cause  of  my  absence  and  distraction.  I  beseech  you  to  assist  me 
with  your  counsels." 


CHAPTER    XI. 


THE  OLD  HERMIT  TURNS  OUT  AN    EXTRAORDINARY  GENIUS,   AND  GIL 
BLAS  FINDS  HIMSELF  AMONG   HIS   FORMER  ACQUAINTANCE. 

WHEN  Don  Alphonso  had  concluded  the  melancholy  recital 
of  his  misfortunes,  the  old  hermit  said  to  him, "  My  son,  you 
have  been  excessively  rash  in  tarrying  so  long  at  Toledo.  I  consider 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  261 

what  you  have  told  me  of  your  story  in  a  very  different  light  from 
that  you  affect  to  place  it  in,  and  your  love  for  Seraphina  seems  to 
me  to  be  sheer  madness.  Take  my  word  for  it,  you  will  do  well  to 
cancel  that  young  lady  from  your  remembrance;  she  never  can  be 
of  your  communion.  Eetreat  like  a  skillful  general,  when  you  can- 
not act  with  effect  on  the  offensive ;  and  pursue  your  fortune  on 
another  field,  where  success  may  smile  on  your  endeavors.  You 
will  be  terribly  out  of  luck  to  kill  the  brother  of  the  next  young 
lady  who  may  chance  to  succeed  this  only  possible  object  of  your 
affection." 

He  was  going  to  add  many  other  inducements  to  resignation,  in 
such  a  case  as  Don  Alphonso's,  when  we  saw  another  hermit  enter 
our  retreat,  with  a  well-stuffed  wallet  slung  across  his  shoulders.  He 
was  on  his  return,  with  the  charitable  contributions  of  all  the  good 
folks  in  the  town  of  Cuen<}a ;  and  the  gathering  did  credit  to  the  re- 
ligion of  the  age.  He  looked  younger  than  his  companion,  in  spite 
of  his  thick,  foxy  beard.  "  Welcome  home  1  brother  Antony,"  said 
the  elder  of  the  two  recluses ;  "  what  news  do  you  bring  us  from 
town  ?"  "  Bad  enough,"  answered  the  carroty  friar,  putting  into 
his  hands  a  paper,  folded  in  the  form  of  a  letter ;  "  this  little  instru- 
ment will  inform  you."  The  hoary  sage  opened  it,  and  after  read- 
ing on  with  an  increased  attention,  as  the  contents  seemed  to  grow 
more  interesting  exclaimed,  "Heaven's  will  be  donel  Since  the 
combustion  is  anticipated,  we  have  only  to  fall  in  with  the  humor  of 
our  fate.  Let  us  change  our  dialect,  Signor  Don  Alphonso  I"  pur- 
sued he,  addressing  his  discourse  to  my  young  companion :  "  you 
behold  in  me  a  man,  like  yourself,  who  has  been  a  broad  mark  for 
the  wantonness  of  fortune  to  take  aim  at.  Word  is  sent  me  from 
Cuen^a,  a  town  at  the  distance  of  a  league  hence,  that  some  back- 
biter has  been  blackening  my  fair  fame  in  the  esteem  of  justice ;  who 
is  coming  with  her  hue  and  cry  to  disturb  the  repose  of  these  rural 
scenes,  and  to  lay  her  paw  upon  my  person.  But  an  old  fox  is  too 
cunning  to  be  caught  in  a  trap.  This  is  not  the  first  time  that  I 
have  cut  and  run  before  the  bloodhounds  of  the  law.  But,  thanks 
to  myself  for  having  my  wits  about  me,  I  have  always  ended  the 
chase  in  a  whole  skin,  and  held  myself  in  readiness  for  another.  It 
is  now  time  to  assume  another  form  ;  for,  whether  you  like  me  best  in 
my  old  skin  or  my  new,  I  cast  my  hermit's  decrepit  slough,  to  bask 
in  the  sunshine  of  youth  and  vigor." 

To  suit  the  action  to  the  word,  he  threw  off  the  encumbrance  of 
his  ecclesiastical  petticoat,  and  stood  forth  to  view  in  a  doublet  of 
black  serge  with  slashed  sleeves.  Then  off  went  his  cap,  and  snap 
went  a  string  which  supported  the  hoary  honors  of  a  beard,  and  our 
anchorite  was  at  once  transformed  to  a  brawny  ruffian  of  eight-and- 


262  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

twenty  or  thirty.  Brother  Antony,  following  a  good  example,  dis- 
carded the  outward  show  of  religion,  treated  his  fiery  beard  as  the 
snowy  one  had  been  handled  just  before,  and  pulled  out  of  an  old 
worm-eaten  trunk  a  sorry  rag  of  a  cassock,  with  which  he  invested 
his  person.  But  what  words  can  express  my  surprise,  when  Signer 
Don  Eaphael  presented  himself  to  my  view,  like  a  phoenix  from  the 
ashes  of  the  old  bead-counter !  To  complete  the  trick  of  the  panto- 
mime, brother  Antony  was  turned  into  my  faithful  vassal  and  trusty 
squire,  Ambrose  de  Lamela.  "  Here  are  miracles  I"  exclaimed  I,  in 
a  quandary ;  "  as  far  as  I  can  perceive,  we  are  all  hail  fellow,  well 
met!"  "You  never  were  more  lucky  in  your  life,  Signor  Gil  Bias,'' 
said  Don  Raphael,  with  a  brazen-faced  good  humor :  "  you  have 
fallen  among  old  friends  when  you  least  expected  it.  It  must 
be  owned  you  have  a  crow  to  pluck  with  us ;  but  let  the  past  be 
buried  in  oblivion,  and  thank  Heaven,  here  we  are  together  again. 
Ambrose  and  I  will  serve  under  your  banner  ;  and  let  me  tell  you, 
you  will  have  subalterns  of  no  contemptible  prowess.  You  may 
object  to  our  morals :  but  they  are  better  in  the  main  than  many  a 
hypocrite's  pretensions.  We  never  assassinate,  and  rarely  maltreat, 
and  that  in  pure  self-defence.  The  only  liberty  we  take  with  society 
is  to  live  at  free  quarters  ;  and  though  robbery  may  be  considered 
as  containing  some  little  spice  of  injustice,  the  necessity  we  labor 
under  of  committing  it  restores  its  equilibrium  to  the  scale.  Even 
join  your  fortune  with  ours;  you  will  lead  a  life  of  hazard,  but  of 
variety.  Our  predatory  peregrinations  have  every  pastoral  beauty 
except  innocence,  and  the  want  of  that  is  more  than  counterpoised  by 
subtlety  and  stratagem.  Not  but,  with  all  our  forecast,  a  certain 
mechanical  concatenation  6f  second  causes  sometimes  frustrates  our 
best  concerted  projects,  and  drags  our  philosophy  through  the  mire. 
But  a  ducking  now  and  then  only  makes  us  swim  the  better.  The 
seasons  must  all  be  taken  in  their  turns  :  the  blanks  as  well  as  the 
prizes  must  be  drawn  in  the  cheating  lottery  of  life." 

"  Courteous  stranger,"  pursued  the  pretended  hermit,  speaking  to 
Don  Alphonso,  "we  extend  the  proposal  of  partnership  to  you,  and 
it  may  be  a  question  whether  you  will  better  yourself  by  rejecting  it, 
in  the  lamentable  condition  of  your  affairs  ;  for,  to  say  nothing  of 
the  chance  medley  for  which  you  are  at  hide  and  seek,  your  fortune 
is  probably  a  little  out  at  elbows."  "Most  lamentably  so,"  said 
Don  Alphonso ;  "  and  hence,  since  the  truth  must  out,  are  my  fore- 
bodings more  dark  than  even  my  present  evils."  "  That  is  the  very 
thing !"  replied  Don  Raphael.  '  "  You  were  sent  by  our  better  genius 
to  join  the  party.  You  will  find  no  such  good  berth  in  the  honest 
part  of  the  world.  Your  wants  will  all  be  supplied,  and  you  may 
laugh  at  the  vigilance  of  your  pursuers.    There  is  not  a  corner  in 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  268 

all  Spain  which  we  have  not  ferreted  out ;  those  who  are  always  on 
the  scamper  see  a  great  deal  of  the  country.  We  are  perfect  con- 
noisseurs- in  landscape,  and  affect  Salvator  Eosa's  rugged  scenery. 
There  we  graze  in  peace  and  freedom,  secure  from  the  brutality  of 
justice."  Don  Alphonso  expressed  himself  very  much  obliged  to 
them  for  their  kind  invitation ;  and  finding  neither  money  in  his 
purse  nor  contrivance  to  procure  it  in  his  pericranium,  made  up  his 
mind  at  once  not  to  stand  upon  a  punctilio  with  morality.  I  too 
was  led  into  a  looser  course  than  agreed  with  my  rigid  principles,  by 
a  growing  friendship  for  this  young  man,  whom  I  could  not  find  in 
my  heart  to  abandon  in  so  perilous  an  enterprise. 

We  all  four  agreed  to  set  off  in  a  body,  and  never  to  part  com- 
pany. The  question  was  put  whether  we  should  sound  a  retreat  on 
the  instant,  or  first  give  a  peremptory  summons  to  a  flagon  of  excel- 
lent wine,  which  brother  Antony  had  invested  by  regular  approaches 
at  Cuen^a  the  day  before  ;  but  Eaphael,  a  more  experienced  general 
than  any  of  us,  represented  that  the  first  thing  to  be  done  was  to 
render  our  own  camp  impregnable,  for  which  purpose  he  proposed 
that  we  should  march  all  night,  to  gain  a  very  thick  wood  between 
Villardesa  and  Almodabar,  where  we  should  halt,  as  in  a  friendly 
country,  and  recruit  after  the  fatigues  of  the  campaign.  These  gen- 
eral orders  were  approved  of  in  council.  Our  lay  hermits  then  went 
about  packing  up  their  baggage  and  provisions,  which  were  swung 
in  two  bundles  across  the  back  of  Don  Alphonso's  horse.  We  were 
not  long  in  our  preparations,  after  which  we  sheered  oS"  from  the 
hermitage,  leaving  a  rich  booty  to  legal  rapine  in  the  saintly  para- 
phernalia of  the  two  hermits ;  including  a  wliite  beard  and  a  red 
one,  two  rickety  bedsteads,  a  table  without  a  leg,  a  chest  without 
a  bottom,  two  chairs  without  any  seats,  and  an  unmutilated  image 
of  St.  Pacomo. 

Our  march  was  continued  the  whole  night,  and  we  began  to  chafe 
and  feel  other  inconveniences,  when  at  daybreak  we  hailed  the 
wood  where  our  toils  were  to  end.  Sailors  after  a  long  voyage  work 
the  ship  with  double  alacrity  at  the  sight  of  their  native  land.  So 
it  was  with  us ;  we  pushed  forward,  and  got  to  our  journey's  end  by 
sunrise.  Dashing  into  the  thickest  of  the  wood,  we  pitched  upon  a 
retired  and  pleasant  spot,  where  the  turf  was  circled  in  by  tall  and 
branching  oaks,  whose  gigantic  limbs,  interwoven  over  our  heads, 
formed  a  natural  vault,  not  to  be  penetrated  even  by  noon-day  heat. 
We  took  the  bridle  off"  the  horse  to  let  him  feed  after  he  was  un- 
loaded. Then  down  we  sat,  pulling  out  of  brother  Antony's  wallet 
some  large  pieces  of  bread  and  good  substantial  slices  of  roast  meat, 
at  which  we  began  pegging  with  all  possible  pertinacity.  Never- 
theless, let  our  appetites  be  as  obstinate  as  they  might,  we  every  now 


264  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  EL  AS. 

and  then  suspended  the  fray  to  spar  a  little  with  the  flagon,  which 
returned  our  blows  till  it  made  us  reel  again. 

About  the  end  of  the  conflict,  Don  Raphael  said  to  Don  Alphonso, 
"My  brave  comrade,  after  the  confidence  you  have  reposed  in  me,  it 
is  but  fair  that  in  my  turn  I  should  recount  the  history  of  my  life  to 
you  with  the  same  sincerity."  ''  You  will  do  me  a  great  favor,"  an- 
swered the  youjig  man.  "And  an  equal  one  to  me,"  chimed  in  I. 
"  My  curiosity  is  all  alive  to  know  your  adventures,  for  doubtless 
they  must  afford  much  matter  of  useful  speculation."  "  You  may 
rest  assured  of  that,"  replied  Don  Raphael ;  "  and  I  mean  to  leave 
behind  me  a  history  of  my  own  times.  The  composition  shall  be 
the  amusement  of  my  old  age,  for  I  am  as  yet  in  the  prime  of  life, 
and  mean  to  furnish  in  propria  persona  many  new  hints  for  my  com- 
mon-place book.  But  we  are  all  weary ;  let  us  recruit  with  some 
hours  of  sleep.  While  we  three  lie  down,  Ambrose  shall  keep  watch 
for  fear  of  a  surprise,  and  shall  then  take  a  nap  in  his  turn.  For 
though,  to  all  appearance,  we  are  here  in  perfect  safety,  it  is  always 
good  to  keep  a  sentry  at  the  outposts."  After  this  precaution  he 
stretched  himself  along  upon  the  grass.  Don  Alphonso  did  the 
same.  I  followed  their  example,  and  Lamela  performed  the  office 
of  a  scout. 

Don  Alphonso,  so  far  from  getting  any  rest,  was  incessantly 
brooding  over  his  misfortunes,  and  I  could  not  get  a  wink  of  sleep. 
As  for  Don  Raphael,  he  snored  most  sonorously.  But  he  awoke  in 
little  more  than  an  hour,  when,  finding  us  in  a  listening  mood,  he 
said  to  Lamela,  "  My  friend  Ambrose,  you  may  now  yield  to  the 
gentle  influence  of  Morpheus."  "  No.  no,"  answered  Lamela,  "  my 
sleepy  fit  is  over ;  and  though  I  know  all  the  passages  of  your  life 
by  rote,  they  are  so  instructive  to  the  practitioners  of  our  art  and 
mystery,  that  I  do  not  care  how  often  I  hear  the  tale  over  again." 
Without  further  preface,  Don  Raphael  began  the  narrative  of  his 
adventures  in  these  terms. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  266 


BOOK  V. 


CHAPTER    I. 

HISTORY  OF  DON   RAPHAEL. 

"  T  MADE  my  entrance  on  the  stage  of  life  at  Madrid,  where  my 
JL  mother  was  an  actress,  famous  for  her  dramatic  and  infamous 
for  her  intriguing  talents.  Her  name  was  Lucinda.  As  for  my 
father,  every  man  must  have  one ;  but  my  arithmetic  is  too  scanty  to 
determine  the  number  of  mine.  It  might  indeed  be  a  matter  of  his- 
tory, that  such  or  such  a  man  of  fashion  was  dangling  after  my 
mother  at  the  epoch  of  my  arrival  in  this  system  ;  but  then,  that  mere 
fact  would  by  no  means  warrant  a  deduction  that  any  individual 
gallant  of  the  mother  must  therefore  be  the  father  of  the  chiid.  A 
lady  so  eminent  as  she  was  in  so  notorious  and  wholesale  a  profes- 
sion, must  have  many  strings  to  her  bow ;  where  her  blandishments 
are  most  publicly  lavished,  her  favors  are  most  sparingly  bestowed : 
there  is  a  show  article  or  two  for  public  exhibition,  but  her  every- 
day wares  are  cheap,  and  hackneyed  to  the  meanest  purchaser. 

"  There  is  nothing  like  taking  scandal  by  the  beard,  and  treating 
the  opinion  of  the  world  with  heroic  indifference.  Lucinda,  instead 
of  cooping  me  up  in  a  garret  at  home,  made  no  scruple  about  own- 
ing her  little  bastard,  but  took  me  in  her  hand  to  the  theatre  with  a 
modest  assurance,  regardless  how  the  tongue  of  rumor  might  babble 
at  her  expense,  or  how  the  laugh  of  malice  might  peal  at  my  unlucky 
appearance.  In  short,  I  was  her  pet,  and  came  in  for  the  caresses 
of  all  the  men  who  frequented  the  house.  One  would  have  sworn 
that  nature  pleaded  in  my  favor,  and  inspired  each  of  them  with  a 
father's  pride  in  the  brat  they  had  clubbed  for.  The  twelve  first 
years  of  my  life  were  suffered  to  waste  away  in  all  kinds  of  frivolous 
amusements.  Scarcely  did  they  teach  me  to  read  and  write.  Still 
less  was  it  thought  of  any  consequence  to  initiate  me  in  the  princi- 
ples of  my  religion.  To  dance,  to  sing,  to  play  on  the  guitar,  was 
the  sum  total  of  my  early  attainments.  With  these  gifts  and  graces 
for  my  only  acquisitions,  the  Marquis  of  Leganez  asked  for  me  to  be 
about  his  only  son,  who  was  nearly  of  my  own  age.  Lucinda  gave 
her  consent  without  reluctance,  and  it  was  then  that  I  began  to  mind 
a  little  what  I  was  about.  Young  Leganez  could  not  reproach  me 
with  my  ignorance;  his  little  lordship  was  not  cast  in  a  scientific 
mould,  for  he  scarcely  knew  a  letter  of  his  alphabet,  though  he  had 


266  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

been  under  private  tuition  for  fifteen  months.  None  of  his  masters 
could  make  anything  of  him  ;  patience  was  never  formed  to  engage 
in  so  unequal  a  match.  To  be  sure,  they  were  expressly  forbid  to 
exercise  any  severity  on  his  noble  carcass ;  their  orders  were  to  teach, 
not  to  torture  him  ;  and  this  tender  precaution,  acting  on  a  subject 
of  insufferably  untoward  dispositions,  was  the  means  of  throwing  to 
the  dogs  all  the  mental  physic  they  poured  in  ;  he  would  none  of  it. 

"  But  the  verb-grinder  engendered  in  his  noddle  a  most  ingenious 
device,  by  which  to  keep  this  troublesome  young  lordling  in  awe, 
without  trenching  on  his  foolish  father's  injunctions.  The  scheme 
was  no  other  than  to  flog  me  whenever  that  scapegrace  Leganez  had 
incurred  the  penalty  of  the  rod,  and  this  vicarious  execution  was 
inflicted  with  the  utmost  rigor.  My  consent  to  the  transfer  had  never 
been  asked,  and  there  was  nothing  in  the  act  itself  to  recommend  it; 
so  that  my  only  chance  was  to  run  away,  and  appeal  to  my  mother 
against  so  arbitrary  a  discipline.  However  her  maternal  feelings 
might  inwardly  revolt,  no  trace  of  woman's  weakness  could  be  de- 
tected in  her  manner  of  receiving  my  complaint.  The  Leganez  con- 
nection was  too  important  to  be  lost  for  a  few  whippings ;  and  away 
went  she,  dragging  her  culprit  into  the  presence  of  his  tormentor, 
who,  by  this  act  of  hers,  became  master  of  broom  field.  Experience 
had  convinced  him  that  the  success  of  his  invention  corresponded 
with  its  felicity.  He  therefore  went  on  improving  the  mind  and 
manners  of  the  little  grandee  at  the  expense  of  my  skin.  Remorse 
for  his  delinquencies  was  to  be  excited  only  by  sympathy ;  so  that 
whenever  it  became  necessary  to  make  a  bloody  example,  my  seat  of 
vengeance  was  firked  most  unmercifully.  The  running  account  be- 
tween young  Leganez  and  me  was  all  on  one  side,  and  scarcely  a  day 
passed  but  he  sinned  on  tick  and  suffered  by  attorney.  By  the  near- 
est calculation  of  whole  numbers,  there  went  somewhere  about  a 
hundred  cuts  to  teach  him  each  single  letter  of  the  alphabet;  so  that 
if  you  multiply  100  by  24  for  stupidity,  and  add  a  0  to  the  amount 
for  moral  offences,  you  will  have  the  sum  total  of  the  belaboring  that 
his  education  cost  me. 

"  This  thick  and  threefold  companionship  with  birch  was  not  the 
only  rub ;  my  path  through  this  family  was  more  beset  with  thorns 
than  sweetened  by  flowers.  As  my  birth  and  connections  were  no 
secret,  the  whole  of  the  establishment,  to  the  very  refuse  of  the 
household,  the  stable  boys  and  scullions,  twitted  me  with  my  shame- 
ful origin.  This  stuck  so  terribly  in  my  throat  that  I  made  my  es- 
cape  once  more,  but  not  without  borrowing  mv  tutor's  ready  money, 
amounting  to  upwards  of  a  hundred  and  fifty  ducats,  for  an  indefi- 
nite period,  and  without  interest.  Thus  was  the  account  settled 
between  us;  since  he  had  made  a  property  of  my  hide  for  a  scare- 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  267 

crow,  it  was  but  fair  that  I  should  have  a  finger  in  the  earnings  of 
his  arm.  For  a  first  attempt  at  thieving  both  the  plan  and  execu- 
tion were  hopeful.  A  hue  and  cry  were  raised  for  two  days ;  it  was 
hot  while  it  lasted,  but  I  lay  snug,  and  they  missed  me.  Madrid 
was  no  longer  a  fit  hiding-place ;  so  I  took  to  cover  in  Toledo,  and 
the  hounds  were  thrown  out. 

"  I  was  just  then  entering  into  my  fifteenth  year.  What  a  happy 
fellow,  at  such  an  early  age,  to  shape  my  own  conduct  and  be  in  a 
condition  of  forming  a  set  of  morals  for  myself!  I  soon  scraped 
acquaintance  with  some  pleasant  youths,  who  rescued  me  from  the 
dominion  of  prejudice,  and  shared  liberally  with  me  in  the  sin  of 
spending  what  was  not  my  own.  By  degrees  I  rose  in  society,  and 
leagued  myself  with  a  set  of  professional  sharpers,  who  found  me  so 
fine  a  subject  to  work  upon,  that  a  short  time,  with  plenty  of  prac- 
tice, put  me  in  possession  of  all  the  most  desperate  jobs.  At  the 
expiration  of  five  years,  an  itch  for  travelling  laid  hold  of  me.  I 
therefore  took  leave  of  my  comrades,  and  got  as  far  as  Alcantara, 
wishing  to  commence  my  peregrinations  with  the  province  of  Estre- 
madura.  In  this  my  first  excursion,  an  opportunity  of  keeping  in 
my  hand  occurred ;  and  I  was  too  diligent  a  practitioner  to  let  it 
escape.  As  I  was  on  foot,  and  loaded  moreover  with  a  pretty  heavy 
knapsack,  I  halted  from  time  to  time  to  avail  myself  of  the  shade, 
and  recruit  a  little  under  the  trees  which  lined  the  highway.  At 
one  of  these  halts  I  picked  up  two  young  gentlemen,  who  were  chat- 
ting at  their  ease  upon  the  grass,  and  inhaling  the  freshness  of  the 
breeze.  My  mode  of  accosting  them  was  suited  to  the  occasion ; 
nor  did  its  familiarity  seem  to  be  taken  in  ill  part.  The  eldest 
could  not  be  more  than  fifteen — a  couple  of  as  practicable  green- 
horns as  ever  fell  into  the  hands  of  a  man  of  genius.  *  Courteous 
stranger,'  said  the  youngest,  '  we  are  the  sons  of  two  rich  citizens  at 
Placentia.  Longing  extremely  to  see  the  kingdom  of  Portugal,  we 
have  each  of  us  begged  a  hundred  pistoles  from  our  friends,  and  are 
setting  out  to  satisfy  our  curiosity.  Travelling  on  foot  as  we  do,  we 
shall  be  able  to  get  a  good  way  with  that  supply,  shall  we  not? 
What  do  you  think  of  it  ?'  '  If  I  had  as  much,'  answered  I,  *  they 
might  take  me  who  could  catch  me.  I  would  scour  over  the  four 
known  quarters  of  the  globe,  and  then  set  out  on  new  discoveries. 
Fire  and  fury !  Two  hundred  pistoles  1  Why,  it  is  an  entail  for  a 
dukedom !  You  ought  to  lay  by  out  of  the  interest.  If  it  is  agree- 
able to  you,  gentlemen,  I  will  club  with  you  as  far  as  Almeria, 
whither  I  am  going  to  take  possession  of  an  estate  left  me  by  an 
uncle  who  was  settled  there  for  twenty  years  or  upwards.' 

"  My  young  cockneys  testified  at  once  the  pleasure  they  should 
derive  from  my  company.    Whereupon,  when  we  were  all  three  a 


268  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

little  refreshed,  we  trudged  on  towards  Alcantara,  where  we  arrived 
early  in  the  afternoon.  No  inn  but  the  best  was  fit  to  hold  such 
guests.  We  asked  for  a  room,  and  were  shown  into  one  where  there 
was  a  press  with  a  good  strong  lock  upon  it.  Supper  was  ordered 
without  delay ;  but  as  some  time  was  required  to  get  it  ready,  I  pro- 
posed to  my  travelling  companions  a  gentle  saunter  about  the  town. 
The  party  seemed  perfectly  agreeable.  We  locked  up  our  knapsacks 
in  the  press,  the  key  of  which  one  of  the  citizens  put  in  his  pocket, 
and  out  sallied  we  from  the  inn.  The  churches  were  the  best  lions 
we  met  with  in  our  way ;  and  while  we  were  gaping  about  the  prin- 
cipal, I  pretended  to  have  recollected  on  a  sudden  some  very  urgent 
business.  '  Gentlemen,'  said  I  to  my  companions,  '  it  has  just  come 
across  me  that  a  §ood  man  of  Toledo  gave  me  a  commission  to  say 
two  words  on  his  behalf  to  a  merchant  who  lives  hard  by  this  church. 
Have  the  goodness  to  wait  for  me  here  ;  I  will  be  back  in  a  moment.' 
With  this  excuse,  I  went  off  like  a  shot  in  the  direction  of  our  inn. 
The  press  was  my  point  of  attack— I  forced  the  lock,  ransacked  the 
baggage  of  my  young  citizens,  and  laid  a  sacrilegious  hand  on  their 
pistoles.  Poor  youths !  How  they  were  to  pay  their  reckoning,  it 
was  not  for  me  to  presume  even  to  guess,  for  most  assuredly  I 
stripped  them  of  all  the  natural  means.  After  this  feat,  I  decamped 
as  expeditiously  as  my  legs  could  carry  me  from  the  town,  and  took 
the  direction  of  Merida,  without  caring  a  curse  what  became  of  the 
young  brood  I  had  plucked. 

"  Such  a  windfall  as  this  placed  me  in  a  condition  of  travelling 
merrily.  Though  in  the  very  blush  of  youth,  a  certain  forecast  was 
not  wanting  to  carry  me  discreetly  through  the  world,  and  keep  my 
head  above  water.  It  must  be  admitted  without  question,  that  I 
was  a  youth  of  forward  parts  for  my  age,  and  unfettered  by  the  pre- 
judices of  innocence.  I  determined  to  buy  a  mule,  and  cheapened 
one  at  the  first  market  town.  My  knapsack  was  metamorphosed 
into  a  portmanteau,  and  by  degrees  I  began  to  put  on  the  man  of 
consequence.  On  the  third  day  a  man  came  across  me  singing 
vespers,  with  lungs  like  a  pair  of  bellows  on  the  highway.  By  his 
air,  he  seemed  to  be  a  musician  of  the  church  establishment,  and  I 
accosted  him  accordingly.  'Well  done,  my  holy  howler  of  the 
hallelujahs!  You  sing  your  penitential  ditties  at  a  good  jovial 
pitch.  To  all  appearance  you  sol-fa  with  your  whole  heart  and 
soul.'  'Good  sir,'  replied  he,  'I  belong,  with  your  good  leave,  to 
the  musical  department  of  the  catholic  churcK;  and  it  is  my  com- 
mon practice  to  keep  my  devotion  and  my  wind  in  play  by  the  re- 
hearsal of  an  anthem  or  two  as  I  travel  along  the  road.' 

"With  this  disposition  to  be  sociable,  we  soon  got  into  conversa- 
tion.   It  was  clear  to  me  that  I  had  fallen  in  with  a  character  not 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  269 

to  be  despised  in  point  of  shrewdness,  nor  indisposed  to  society  and 
merriment.  He  was  four  or  five-and-twenty.  My  companion  being 
on  foot,  I  slackened  my  pace,  for  the  pleasure  of  chatting  with  him. 
Among  other  things,  we  talked  about  Toledo.  *I  am  perfectly 
well  acquainted  with  that  city,'  said  the  brazen-lunged  torturer  of 
anthems.  '  It  was  my  residence  for  a  considerable  time,  and  my 
connections  there  are  not  altogether  contemptible.'  '  And  in  what 
part  of  the  town,'  interrupted  I,  'did  you  reside?'  'In  the  New 
Street,'  was  his  answer.  '  I  was  hand  in  glove  with  Don  Vincent 
de  Buena  Garra,  Don  Matthias  de  Cordello,  and  two  or  three  other 
gentlemen  of  very  considerable  fashion.  We  lived  together,  took 
our  meals  at  the  same  mess,  and,  in  short,  were  scarcely  ever  asunder. 
It  was  a  charming  society  I'  This  avowal  was  no  small  surprise  to 
me,  for  it  is  to  be  understood  that  the  gentlemen  whose  names  he 
cited  with  so  pompous  an  air  were  the  very  sharpers  with  whom  I 
had  been  affiliated  at  Toledo.  '  Why,  thou  degenerate  vicar  choral  I' 
exclaimed  I,  '  these  fine  blades  of  whom  thou  hast  been  boasting 
are  among  the  number  of  my  acquaintance  also,  for  I  too  have 
lived  with  them  in  the  New  Street;  we  were  hand  in  glove,  took  our 
meals  at  the  same  mess,  and,  in  short,  were  scarcely  ever  asunder.' 
'  You  are  a  wag  I'  replied  he,  with  a  knowing  wink ;  '  that  is  to  say, 
you  got  into  the  gang  three  years  ago,  when  I  left  it.'  '  My  motive 
for  quitting  such  a  worshipful  fraternity,'  resumed  I,  '  was  an  itch 
for  travelling.  I  mean  to  make  the  tour  of  Spain.  A  little  more 
knowledge  of  the  world  will  make  me  quite  another  thing.'  '  Doubt- 
less,' said  he,  '  there  is  no  possible  way  but  travelling  to  rub  off  the 
rust,  or  to  bring  wit,  talent,  and  address  to  perfection.  It  is  for  the 
self-same  reason  that  I  too  turned  my  back  upon  Toledo,  though 
the  time  glided  away  there  very  agreeably.  But  thanks  to  a  kind 
providence,  which  has  yoked  me  with  a  laborer  in  my  own  vine- 
yard, when  I  least  expected  it.  Let  us  join  our  forces,  let  us  travel 
the  same  road,  let  us  make  a  joint  stock  of  our  neighbors'  purses, 
let  us  rob,  let  us  cheat,  let  us  avail  ourselves  of  every  opportunity 
that  may  offer  of  exemplifying  our  theory,  and  improving  our  prac- 
tice, in  the  noble  art  on  which  our  skill  is  employed.' 

"  The  proposal  was  made  in  so  candid  a  spirit,  so  like  a  citizen  of 
the  world,  untainted  with  the  selfishness  of  your  honest  men,  that 
I  closed  in  with  it  at  once.  My  confidence  was  surrendered  at  the 
first  summons  to  the  frankness  with  which  he  volunteered  his  own. 
We  spoke  our  free  hearts  each  to  the  other.  I  dilated  all  my  pil- 
grimage, and  he  spake  of  most  disastrous  chances,  of  moving  acci- 
dents through  which  he  had  passed  even  from  his  boyish  days  to 
this  very  moment  of  his  ripe  and  rampant  roguery.  It  appeared 
that  he  was  on  his  way  from  Portalegre,  whence  he  had  been  obliged 


270  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

to  decamp  with  the  utmost  expedition  on  account  of  a  little  swind- 
ling transaction  in  which  his  luck  happened  not  to  keep  pace  with 
his  ingenuity.  The  habit  he  wore  was  sacrilegiously  adopted  as  a 
cloak  to  his  person  and  real  character,  since  he  thought  it  safest  to 
be  near  the  church,  however  far  from  God.  Thus  did  we  two  share 
all  our  counsel,  and  pledge  our  brother's  vows,  till  we  grew  together 
like  a  double  cherry,  and  determined,  with  two  seeming  bodies  but 
one  heart,  to  incorporate  our  voices  and  minds  in  some  master-stroke 
at  Merida.  If  it  took,  well  and  good ;  if  not,  we  had  only  to  cut 
and  run.  From  this  moment,  community  of  goods,  that  pure  and 
simple  feature  of  patriarchal  life,  was  enacted  as  a  law  between  us. 
Moralez,  it  is  true, — for  that  was  my  fellow-traveller's  name,— did 
not  find  himself  in  the  most  splendid  condition  possible.  His  funds 
were  limited  to  five  or  six  ducats,  with  a  few  little  articles  in  a  bag. 
I  therefore  was  the  moneyed  man  of  the  firm ;  but  then  there  was 
brass  in  his  forehead  for  an  inexhaustible  coinage,  and  the  seeming 
of  a  saint  when  he  played  the  devil  most.  So  on  we  journeyed 
on  the  ride  and  tie  principle,  and  arrived  in  humble  cavalcade  at 
Merida. 

"  We  put  up  at  an  inn  near  the  skirts  of  the  town,  where  my 
comrade  changed  his  dress.  When  he  had  rigged  himself  in  lay- 
man's attire,  we  took  a  turn  up  and  down  to  reconnoitre  the  ground, 
and  see  if  we  could  pick  out  some  opportunity  of  laboring  in  our 
vocation.  Had  it  been  our  good  fortune  to  have  lived  before  Homer, 
that  old  apologist  for  sharping  by  wholesale  would  have  dignified 
our  excursion  with  a  simile. 

'  Not  half  so  keen,  fierce  vultures  of  the  chase 
Stoop  from  the  mountains  on  the  feathered  race,'  Ac. 

To  descend  into  plain  prose,  we  were  ruminating  on  the  chapter  of 
accidents,  and  hammering  out  some  theme  for  the  employment  of 
our  industry,  when  we  espied  a  gray-headed  old  gentleman  in  the 
street,  sword  in  hand,  defending  himself  against  three  men  who 
were  thrusting  at  him  with  all  their  might  and  main.  The  unfair- 
ness of  the  match  was  what  stuck  in  my  throat ;  so  that  flying,  with 
the  spirit  of  a  prize-fighter,  to  see  fair  play,  I  made  common  cause 
with  the  old  man.  Moralez  followed  up  my  blows.  We  proved 
ourselves  a  match  for  the  three  assailants,  and  put  them  completely 
to  the  rout. 

"  Our  rescued  friend  was  profuse  in  his  acknowledgments.  '  We 
are  in  rapture,'  said  I,  '  at  our  good  luck  in  being  here  so  seasonably 
for  your  assistance  ;  but  let  us  at  least  know  to  whom  we  have  been 
so  fortunate  as  to  be  serviceable ;  and  what  inducement  those  three 
men  could  possibly  have  for  their  murderous  attempt.'    'Geiitle- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  271 

men,'  replied  he,  '  my  obligations  are  too  great  to  hesitate  about 
satisfying  your  curiosity ;  my  name  is  Jerome  de  Moyadas,  a  gen- 
tleman of  this  town,  living  on  my  means.  One  of  these  cut-throat 
rascals,  from  whom  you  have  rescued  me,  professes  to  be  in  love 
with  my  daughter.  He  asked  her  of  me  in  marriage  within  these 
few  days  ;  and  for  want  of  gaining  my  consent  in  a  quiet  way,  has 
just  attempted  to  force  himself  into  my  daughter's  good  graces  by 
sending  me  into  the  other  world.'  'And  may  we  take  the  liberty,' 
rejoined  I,  'of  inquiring  further,  why  you  were  so  obdurate  to  the 
proposals  of  this  enamored  swain  ?'  '  I  will  explain  the  whole  to 
.  you  at  once,'  said  he.  '  I  had  a  brother,  a  merchant  in  this  town ; 
his  name  was  Austin.  Two  months  ago  he  happened  to  be  at  Cala- 
trava,  and  took  up  his  abode  with  his  correspondent,  Juan  Velez  de 
la  Membrilla.  They  got  to  be  as  loving  as  turtles ;  and  my  brother, 
to  clinch  the  connection,  engaged  my  daughter  Florence  to  his  good 
friend's  son,  not  doubting  but  he  had  influence  enough  with  me  to 
redeem  his  pledge  when  he  returned  to  Merida.  Accordingly,  he  no 
sooner  opened  himself  on  the  subject  than  I  consented  out  of  pure 
fraternal  affection.  He  sent  Florence's  picture  to  Calatrava ;  but, 
alas !  he  did  not  live  to  put  the  finishing  hand  to  his  own  work.  We 
laid  him  with  his  forefathers  three  weeks  ago  !  On  his  death-bed, 
he  besought  me  not  to  dispose  of  my  girl  but  in  favor  of  his  corres- 
pondent's son.  I  satisfied  his  mind  on  that  point ;  and  this  is  the 
reason  why  I  have  refused  Florence  to  the  suitor  by  whom  I  was 
assaulted,  though  the  match  would  have  been  a  very  desirable  one. 
But  my  word  is  my  idol ;  and  we  are  in  daily  expectation  of  Juan 
Velez  de  la  Membrilla's  heir,  who  is  to  be  my  son-in-law,  though  I 
know  no  more  of  him,  nor  of  his  father,  than  if  they  were  just 
imported  from  an  undiscovered  island.  But  I  beg  pardon ;  this 
is  an  old  man's  garrulity.  Yet  you  yourselves  led  me  into  the 
scrape.' 

"  This  tale  did  I  swallow  with  a  greedy  ear ;  and  pouncing  at  once 
upon  a  part  to  play,  which  my  fruitful  imagination  suggested,  I  put 
on  an  air  of  inordinate  surprise,  and  ventured  at  all  hazards  to  lift 
my  eyes  upward  to  a  purer  region.  Then  turning  to  my  father-in- 
law,  with  an  expression  of  feeling  which  nothing  but  hypocrisy  could 
personate,  '  Ah  !  Signer  de  Moyadas,  is  it  possible  that,  on  my  arri- 
val at  Merida,  I  should  enjoy  the  heartfelt  triumph  of  rescuing  from 
foul  assassination  the  honored  parent  of  my  peerless  love  ?'  This 
exclamation  produced  all  the  astonishment  it  was  levelled  to  excite 
in  the  old  citizen.  Even  Moralez  himself  stared  like  an  honest  man, 
and  showed  by  his  face  that  there  was  a  degree  of  impudence  to 
which  his  conceptions  had  not  hitherto  risen.  'What!  do  not  my 
ears  deceive  me  ?'  exclaimed  the  old  gentleman.  *  And  are  you  really 


272  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  son  of  my  brother's  correspondent?'  '  Really  and  truly,  Signor 
Jerome  de  Moyadas,'  rejoined  I,  with  impregnable  effrontery,  and  a 
hug  round  his  neck  that  had  nearly  sent  him  after  his  brother. 
*  Behold  the  selected  mortal  of  his  species,  to  whose  arms  the  ador- 
able Florence  is  devoted  I  But  these  nuptial  anticipations,  trans- 
porting as  they  are,  must  yield  to  the  anguish  of  my  soul  for  the 
demise  of  their  founder.  Poor  Austin  I  He  is  gone,  and  we  must 
all  follow !  I  should  be  ingratitude  personified,  if  my  heart  was  not 
lacerated  and  rent  by  the  death  of  a  man  to  whom  I  owe  all  my 
hopes  of  bliss.'  At  the  term  of  this  period,  I  squeezed  good  Jerome's 
weasand  once  more,  and  drew  the  back  of  my  hand  across  my  eyes, . 
to  wipe  away  the  tears  it  had  not  been  convenient  to  shed.  Moralez, 
who  by  this  time  had  conned  over  the  pretty  pickings  to  be  made 
out  of  this  joggle,  was  not  wanting  to  play  his  underpart.  He  passed 
himself  off  for  my  servant,  and  improved  upon  his  master  in  lamen- 
tation for  the  untimely  death  of  Signor  Austin.  '  My  honored  mas- 
ter Jerome  1'  exclaimed  he,  *  what  a  loss  have  you  sustained,  since 
your  brother  is  no  more  1  He  was  such  an  honest  man  I  Honest 
men  are  not  to  be  met  with  every  day.  A  superfine  sample  of  com- 
merce! A  dealer  in  friendship  without  percentage!  A  dealer  in 
merchandise  without  an  underhand  advantage  1  A  dealer  who  dealt 
as  dealers  very  seldom  do  deal.' 

"  We  had  our  hands  to  play  against  a  man  who  was  a  novice  at 
the  game.  Simple  and  gullible,  so  far  from  smelling  out  the  rat,  he 
took  his  stink  for  a  nosegay.  *  And  why,'  said  he,  '  did  you  not  come 
straight  to  my  house  ?  It  was  not  friendly  to  put  up  at  an  inn.  On 
the  footing  we  are  likely  to  be  upon,  there  should  be  none  of  those 
punctilios.'  '  Sir,'  said  Moralez,  helping  me  out  of  the  scrape,  '  my 
master  is  a  little  too  much  given  to  stand  upon  ceremony.  Though 
to  be  sure,  in  the  present  instance,  he  is  in  some  degree  excusable 
for  declining  to  appear  before  you  in  this  uncouth  trim.  We  have 
been  robbed  upon  the  road,  and  have  lost  all  our  travelling  equip- 
age.' '  My  lad,'  interrupted  I,  '  has  lei;  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,  Signor 
de  Moyadas.  This  unlucky  accident  has  prevented  me  from  paying 
my  respects  sooner.  True  love  is  diflBdent ;  nor  could  I  venture  in 
this  garb  into  the  presence  of  a  mistress  who  was  unacquainted  with 
my  person.  I  was  therefore  waiting  the  return  of  a  servant  whom  I 
have  sent  to  Calatrava.'  'Such  a  trifle,'  rejoined  the  old  man,  'must 
not  deprive  us  of  your  company ;  and  I  insist  upon  it,  that  you  make 
my  house  your  home  fjom  this  very  moment.' 

"  With  such  sort  of  importunity,  he  forced  me  into  his  family :  but 
as  we  were  on  our  way,  the  pretended  robbery  was  a  natural  topic  of 
conversation ;  and  I  should  have  made  light  of  my  baggage,  though 
the  loss  was  very  considerable,  had  not  Florence's  picture  unluckily 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  273 

formed  a  part  of  the  booty !  The  old  codger  chuckled  at  that,  and  ob- 
served, that  such  a  loss  was  easily  repaired :  the  original  was  worth 
five  hundred  per  cent,  more  than  the  copy.  To  make  me  amends,  as 
soon  as  we  got  home,  he  called  his  daughter,  a  girl  of  not  more  than 
sixteen,  with  a  person  to  have  reclaimed  a  libertine,  if  beauty  ever 
possessed  that  power  except  in  romance.  '  You  behold,'  said  he, 
*  the  bale  of  goods  my  late  brother  has  consigned  to  you.'  '  0,  my 
good  sir !'  exclaimed  I,  in  an  impassioned  tone,  '  words  are  not  want- 
ing to  assure  me  that  this  must  be  the  lovely  Florence :  those  be- 
witching features  are  engraven  on  my  memory,  their  impression  is 
indelible  on  my  heart.  If  the  portrait  I  have  lost,  the  mere  outline 
of  these  embodied  charms,  could  kindle  passion  by  its  cold  and  life- 
less likeness,  judge  what  must  be  my  agitation,  my  transport  at  this 
moment.'  '  Such  language  is  too  flattering  to  be  sincere,'  said  Flor- 
ence ;  *  nor  am  I  so  weak  and  vain  as  to  be  persuaded  that  my  merits 
warrant  it.'  'That  is  right;  interchange  your  fine  speeches,  my 
children  I'  This  was  a  good-natured  encouragement  from  the  father, 
who  at  once  left  me  alone  with  his  daughter,  and  taking  Moralez 
aside,  said  to  him,  '  My  friend,  those  who  made  so  free  with  your 
baggage,  doubtless  did  not  stand  upon  any  ceremony  with  your 
money,'  *  Very  true,  sir,'  answered  my  colleague ;  *  an  overpowering 
band  of  robbers  poured  down  upon  us  near  Castil-Blazo,  and  left  us 
not  a  rag  but  what  we  carry  on  our  backs  ;  but  we  are  in  momentary 
expectation  of  receiving  bills  of  exchange,  and  then  we  shall  appear 
once  more  like  ourselves.' 

"  *  While  you  are  waiting  for  your  bills  of  exchange,'  replied  the 
old  man,  taking  a  purse  out  of  his  pocket,  '  here  are  a  hundred  pis- 
toles with  which  you  may  do  as  you  please.'  'O,  sir!'  rejoined 
Moralez,  as  if  he  were  shocked,  *  my  master  will  never  take  them. 
You  do  not  know  him.  Heaven  and  earth!  he  is  a  man  of  the  nicest 
scruples  in  money  matters.  Not  one  of  your  shabby  fellows,  always 
sponging  upon  his  friends,  and  ready  to  take  up  money  wherever  he 
can  get  it !  Running  in  debt  is  ratsbane  to  him.  If  he  is  to  beg  his 
bread  or  go  into  a  hospital,  why,  there  is  an  end  of  it !  but  as  for 
borrowing,  he  will  never  be  reduced  to  that.'  'So  much  the 
better,'  said  the  good  burgess :  '  I  value  him  the  more  for  his  in- 
dependence. Running  in  debt  is  a  mean  thing;  it  ought  to  be 
ratsbane  to  him  and  everybody  else.  Your  people  of  quality,  to  be 
sure,  may  plead  prescription  in  their  favor ;  there  is  a  sort  of  privi- 
leged swindling,  not  incompatible  with  high  honor,  in  high  life.  If 
tradesmen  were  to  be  paid,  they  would  be  too  nearly  on  a  level  with 
their  employers.  But  as  your  master  has  such  upright  principles, 
heaven  forbid  they  should  be  violated  in  this  house!  Since  any 
offer  of  pecuniary  assistance  would  hurt  his  feelings,  we  must  say 
18 


274  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

no  more  about  it.'  As  the  point  seemed  to  be  settled,  the  purse 
was  for  steering  its  course  back  into  the  pocket ;  but  my  provident 
partner  laid  hold  of  Signor  de  Moyadas  by  the  arm,  and  delayed  the 
convoy.  '  Stay,  sir,'  said  he :  *  whatever  aversion  my  master  may 
have  to  borrowing  on  a  general  principle,  and  considered  as  borrow- 
ing, yet  there  is  a  light  in  which,  with  good  management,  he  may 
he  brought  to  look  kindly  on  your  hundred  pistoles.  In  fact,  it  is 
only  in  a  mercantile  point  of  view,  as  an  affair  of  debtor  and 
creditor  between  strangers,  that  he  holds  this  formal  doctrine ;  but 
he  is  free  and  easy  enough  where  he  is  on  a  family  footing.  Why, 
there  is  his  own  father !  It  is  only  ask  and  have ;  and  he  does  ask 
and  have  accordingly.  Now  you  are  going  to  be  a  second  father  to 
him,  and  are  fairly  entitled  to  be  put  on  the  same  confidential  foot- 
ing. He  is  a  young  man  of  nice  discrimination,  and  will  doubtless 
think  you  entitled  to  the  compliment.' 

"  By  thus  shifting  his  ground,  Moralez  got  possession  of  the  old 
gentleman's  purse.  As  for  the  girl  and  myself,  we  were  engaged  in 
a  little  agreeable  flirting;  but  were  soon  joined  by  our  honored 
parent,  who  interrupted  our  tete-d-tite.  He  told  Florence  how  much 
he  was  obliged  to  me,  and  expressed  his  gratitude  to  myself,  in 
terms  which  left  no  doubt  of  our  being  a  very  happy  family.  I 
made  the  most  of  so  favorable  a  disposition,  by  telling  the  good 
man,  that  if  he  would  bestow  on  me  an  acknowledgment  the  near- 
est to  my  heart,  he  must  hasten  my  marriage  with  his  daughter. 
My  eagerness  was  not  taken  amiss.  He  assured  me  that  in  three 
days  at  latest  I  should  be  a  happy  bridegroom,  and  that  instead  of 
six  thousand  ducats,  the  fortune  he  had  promised  to  give  my  wife, 
he  would  make  it  up  ten,  as  a  substantial  proof  how  deeply  he  felt 
himself  indebted  to  me  for  the  service  I  had  rendered  him. 

"Here  we  were,  therefore,  quite  at  home  with  our  good  friend 
Jerome  de  Moyadas,  sumptuously  entertained,  and  catching  every 
now  and  then  a  vista  vision  of  ten  thousand  ducats,  with  which  we 
proposed  to  march  off  abruptly  from  Merida.  Our  transports,  how- 
ever, were  not  without  their  alloy.  It  was  by  no  means  improbable 
that  within  three  days  the  bond  jide  son  of  Juan  Velez  de  la  Mera- 
brilla  might  come  and  interrupt  our  sport.  This  fear  had  for  its 
Inundation  more  than  the  weakness  of  our  nerves.  On  the  very 
next  morning,  a  sort  of  clodpole,  with  a  portmanteau  across  his 
shoulders,  knocked  at  the  door  of  Florence's  father.  I  was  not  at 
home  at  the  time,  but  my  colleague  had  to  bear  the  brunt  of  it. 
*  Sir,'  said  the  rustic  to  our  sagacious  friend,  '  I  belong  to  the  young 
gentleman  at  Calatrava  who  is  to  be  your  son-in-law — to  Signor  de 
la  Membrilla.  We  have  both  just  come  off  our  journey  :  he  will  be 
here  in  an  instant,  and  sent  me  forward  to  prepare  you  for  his 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  276 

arrival.'  Hardly  had  these  unaccountable  tidings  been  announced, 
when  the  master  appeared  in  person;  which  stretched  the  old 
fellow's  blinkers  into  a  stare,  and  put  Moralez  a  little  to  the  blush. 

"  Young  Pedro  was  what  we  call  a  tall  fellow  of  his  inches.  He 
began  at  once  paying  his  compliments  to  the  master  of  the  house ; 
but  the  good  man  did  not  give  him  time  to  finish  his  speech,  and 
turning  towards  my  partner  in  iniquity,  asked  what  was  the  mean-  - 
ing  of  all  this.  Hereupon  Moralez,  whose  power  of  face  was  not  to 
be  exceeded  by  any  human  impudence,  boldly  asserted  our  identity, 
and  said  to  the  old  gentleman,  'Sir,  these  two  men  here  before  you 
belong  to  the  gang  which  pillaged  us  on  the  highway.  I  have  a 
perfect  recollection  of  their  features ;  and  in  particular  could  swear 
to  him  who  has  the  effrontery  to  call  himself  the  son  of  Signor  Juan 
Velez  de  la  Membrilla.'  The  old  citizen  gulped  down  the  lies  of 
Moralez,  like  nectar,  and  told  the  intruders,  on  the  supposition 
of  their  being  the  impostors,  '  Gentlemen,  you  are  come  the  day 
after  the  fair :  the  trick  was  a  very  good  one,  but  it  will  not  pass ; 
the  enemy  has  taken  the  ground  before  you.  Pedro  de  la  Mem- 
brilla has  been  under  this  roof  since  yesterday.'  '  Have  all  your  wits 
about  you,'  answered  the  young  man  from  Calatrava ;  '  you  are 
nursing  a  viper  in  your  bosom.  Be  assured  that  Juan  Velez  de  la 
Membrilla  has  neither  chick  nor  child  but  myself.'  'And  what 
relation  is  the  hangman  to  you  ?'  replied  the  old  dupe :  '  you  are 
better  known  than  liked  in  this  house.  Can  you  look  this  young 
man  in  the  face?  or  can  you  deny  that  you  robbed  his  master?'  'If 
I  were  anywhere  but  under  your  roof,'  rejoined  Pedro,  in  a  rage,  'I 
would  punish  the  insolence  of  this  scoundrel  who  fancies  to  pass  me 
off  for  a  highwayman.  He  is  indebted  for  his  safety  to  your  presence, 
which  puts  a  curb  upon  my  choler.  Good  sir,'  pursued  he,  'you 
are  grossly  imposed  on.  I  am  the  favored  youth  to  whom  your 
brother  Austin  has  promised  your  daughter.  Is  it  your  pleasure  for 
me  to  produce  the  whole  correspondence  with  my  father  on  the  sub- 
ject of  the  impending  match  ?  Will  you  be  satisfied  with  Florence's 
picture,  sent  me  by  him  as  a  present  a  little  while  before  his  death?' 
No,'  put  in  the  old  burgess  crustily ;  '  the  picture  will  work  just 
as  strongly  on  my  conviction  as  the  letters.  I  am  perfectly  aware 
by  what  chance  they  all  fell  into  your  hands ;  and  if  you  will  take 
a  stupid  fellow's  advice,  Merida  will  soon  be  rid  of  such  rubbish. 
A  quick  march  may  save  you  a  trouncing.'  '  This  is  beyond  all 
bearing,'  screamed  out  the  young  roister,  with  an  overwhelming 
vehemence.  '  My  name  shall  never  be  stolen  from  me,  and  assumed 
by  a  common  cheat  with  impunity ;  neither  shall  my  person  be  con- 
founded with  that  of  a  freebooter.  •  There  are  those  in  this  town 
who  can  identify  me ;  they  are  forthcoming,  and  shall  expose  the 


276  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

fallacy  by  which  you  are  prejudiced  against  me.'  With  this  assu- 
rance he  withdrew,  attended  by  his  servant,  and  Moralez  kept  posses- 
sion of  the  field.  The  adventure  had  even  the  effect  of  determining 
Jerome  de  Moyadas  to  fix  the  wedding  for  the  very  time  being. 
Accordingly  he  went  his  way,  for  the  purpose  of  giving  the  neces- 
sary orders  for  the  celebration. 

"  Though  my  colleague  in  knavery  was  well  enough  pleased  to 
see  Florence's  father  in  a  humor  so  pat  for  our  purposes,  he  was 
not  without  certain  scruples  of  conscience  about  our  safety.  It  was 
to  be  feared  lest  the  probable  proceedings  of  Pedro  might  be  fol- 
lowed up  by  awkward  consequences ;  so  that  he  waited  impatiently 
for  my  arrival  to  make  me  acquainted  with  what  had  occurred.  I 
found  him  over  head  and  ears  in  a  brown  study.  'What  is  the 
matter,  my  friend?'  said  I;  'seemingly  there  is  something  upon 
your  mind.'  *  Indeed  there  is,  and  something  that  will  be  minded,' 
answered  he.  At  the  same  time  he  let  me  into  the  affair.  '  Now 
you  may  judge,'  added  he  after  a  pause, '  whether  we  have  not  some 
food  for  reflection.  It  is  your  ill  star,  rash  contriver,  which  has 
thrown  us  into  this  perplexity.  The  idea,  it  must  be  confessed,  was 
full  of  fire  and  ingenuity ;  had  it  answered  in  the  application,  your 
renown  would  have  been  emblazoned  in  the  chronicles  of  our  frater- 
nity;  but  according  to  present  appearances,  the  run  of  luck  is  against 
us,  and  my  counsels  incline  to  a  prudent  avoidance  of  all  explana- 
tions, by  quietly  sneaking  off  with  the  market-penny  we  have  made 
of  the  silly  old  fellow's  credulity.' 

" '  Master  Moralez,'  replied  I  to  this  desponding  speech, '  you  give 
way  to  difficulties  with  more  haste  than  good  speed.  Such  pusilla- 
nimity does  but  little  honor  to  Don  Matthias  de  Cordel,  and  the 
other  gallant  blades  with  whom  you  were  affiliated  at  Toledo.  After 
serving  a  campaign  under  such  experienced  generals,  it  is  not  sol- 
dierly to  shrink  from  the  perils  of  the  field.  For  my  part,  I  am 
resolved  to  fight  the  battles  of  these  heroes  over  again,  or,  in  more 
vulgar  phrase,  to  prove  myself  a  chip  from  the  old  blocks.  The 
precipice  which  makes  your  head  turn  giddy  only  stiffens  my  sinews 
to  surmount  the  toils  of  the  way,  and  push  forward  to  the  end  of 
our  career.  'If  you  arrive  at  your  journey's  end  in  a  whole  skin,' 
said  my  companion,  'I  will  myself  be  your  biographer,  and  set  your 
fame  far  above  all  the  parallels  of  Plutarch.' 

"Just  as  Moralez  was  finishing  this  learned  allusion,  Jerome  de 
Moyadas  came  in.  *  You  shall  be  my  son-in-law  this  very  evening,' 
said  he.  'Your  servant  must  have  given  you  an  account  of  what 
has  just  passed.  What  say  you  to  the  impudence  of  the  scoundrel 
who  wanted  to  make  me  believe  that  he  was  the  son  of  my  brother's 
correspondent?'    *  Honored  sir,'  answered  I,  with  a  melancholy  air. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  277 

and  in  a  tone  of  voice  the  most  insinuating  that  ever  cajoled  the 
easy  faith  of  a  dotard,  *  I  feel  within  me  that  it  is  not  in  my  nature 
to  carry  on  an  imposition  without  betraying  it  in  my  countenance. 
It  now  becomes  necessary  to  make  you  a  sincere  confession.  I  am 
not  the  son  of  Juan  Velez  de  la  Membrilla.'  '  What  is  it  you  tell 
me?'  interrupted  the  old  man,  out  of  breath  with  surprise,  and  out 
of  his  wits  with  apprehension.  '  So,  then,  you  are  not  the  young 
man  to  whom  my  brother.'  .  .  .  '  For  pity's  sake,  sir,'  interrupted 
I  in  my  turn,  'condescend  to  give  me  a  hearing  patiently  to  the 
end  of  my  story.  For  these  eight  days  have  I  doted  to  distraction 
on  your  daughter ;  and  this  dotage,  this  distraction,  has  riveted  me 
to  Merida.  Yesterday,  after  having  rescued  you  from  your  danger, 
I  was  making  up  my  mind  to  ask  her  of  you  in  marriage ;  but  you 
gave  a  check  to  my  passion,  and  put  a  tie  upon  my  tongue,  by  the 
intelligence  thaf  she  was  destined  for  another.  You  told  me  that 
your  brother,  on  his  death-bed,  enjoined  you  to  give  her  to  Pedro 
de  la  Membrilla;  that  your  word  was  pledged,  and  that  you  were 
the  sworn  vassal  and  bondman  of  your  veracity.  These  circum- 
stances, it  must  be  owned,  were  overwhelming  in  the  extreme ;  and 
my  romantic  passion,  at  the  last  gasp  of  its  despair,  gained  breath 
by  the  stratagem  with  which  the  god  of  love  inspired  me.  I  must 
at  the  same  time  declare,  that  a  trick  is  at  the  best  but  a  mean 
thing,  and,  however  sanctified  by  the  motive,  my  conscience  recoiled 
at  the  delusion.  Yet  I  could  not  but  think  that  my  pardon  would 
be  granted  on  the  discovery,  when  it  should  come  out  that  I  was  an 
Italian  prince,  travelling  through  this  country  as  a  private  gentle- 
man. My  father  reigns  supreme  over  a  nest  of  inaccessible  valleys, 
lying  between  Switzerland,  the  Milanese,  and  Savoy.  It  could  not 
but  occur  to  me  that  you  would  be  agreeably  surprised  when  I 
should  unfold  to  you  my  birth,  and  having  married  Florence  under 
my  fictitious  character,  should  announce  to  her  the  rank  she  had 
attained,  with  all  the  rapture  of  an  enamored  husband,  and  all  the 
stage  effect  of  a  hero  in  tragedy  or  romance.  But  heaven,'  pursued 
I,  with  a  hypocritical  softening  down  of  my  accent,  '  has  visited  my 
sins  by  cutting  me  off  from  such  a  perennial  stream  of  joy.  Pedro 
de  la  Membrilla  was  introduced  upon  the  scene  ;  he  must  have  his 
name  back  again,  whatever  the  restitution  may  cost  me.  Your  pro- 
mise binds  you  hand  and  foot  to  fix  upon  him  for  your  son-in-law ; 
it  is  your  duty  to  give  him  the  preference,  without  taking  my  rank 
and  station  into  the  account ;  without  mercy  on  the  forlorn  condi- 
tion to  which  you  are  going  to  reduce  me.  To  be  sure,  it  might  be 
said— but  then  I  should  say  it,  who  ought  not  to  say  it— that  your 
brother  had  only  the  authority  of  an  uncle  over  your  daughter,  that 
you  are  her  father,  and  that  there  is  more  right  and  reason  in  dis- 


278  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

charging  an  actual  debt  of  gratitude  towards  your  preserver,  than 
in  being  mealy-mouthed  about  a  verbal  promise,  which  would  press 
but  lightly  on  the  conscience  of  the  most  scrupulous  casuist.' 

" '  Yes,  without  doubt,  that  argument  is  indisputable,'  exclaimed 
Jerome  de  Moyadas ;  *  and  on  that  ground  there  can  no  longer  be 
any  question  between  you  and  Pedro  de  la  Membrilla.  If  my 
brother  Austin  were  still  living,  he  would  not  think  it  bad  morality 
to  give  the  preference  to  a  man  who  has  saved  my  life,  nor  a  bad 
speculation  to  close  the  bargain  with  a  prince  who  has  not  disdained 
to  court  our  alliance.  It  were  an  absolute  suicide  on  the  part  of  all 
my  opening  prospects,  the  frantic  desperation  of  an  acknowledged 
incurable,  not  to  dispose  of  my  daughter  so  illustriously,  not  to 
solicit  your  highness's  acceptance  of  her  hand.'  'And  yet,  sir,'  re- 
sumed I,  '  these  things  are  not  to  be  determined  without  due  delib- 
eration ;  look  at  your  own  interests  and  safety  with  a  microscopic 
eye ;  for  though  the  illustrious  channel  through  which  my  blood  has 
flowed  for  ages.'  .  ,  .  'You  are  scarcely  serious,'  interrupted  he,  'in 
supposing  that  I  can  hesitate  for  a  moment.  No,  may  it  please 
your  highness  ;  it  is  my  most  humble  and  earnest  request  that  you 
will  deign,  on  this  very  evening,  to  honor  the  happy  Florence  with 
your  hand.'  '  Well,  then,'  said  I,  '  be  it  so  ;  go  yourself  and  be  the 
bearer  of  the  unlooked-for  tidings ;  announce  to  her  the  brilliant 
career  of  her  exalted  destiny.' 

"  While  the  good  citizen  was  putting  his  best  foot  foremost,  to 
instill  into  his  daughter  that  she  had  made  the  conquest  of  a  prince, 
Moralez,  who  had  taken  in  the  whole  conversation  with  greedy  ear, 
threw  himself  upon  his  knees  before  me,  and  did  homage  in  these 
bantering  terms :  '  Most  potent,  grave,  and  august  Italian  prince, 
son  of  a  sovereign  supreme  over  a  nest  of  inaccessible  valleys,  lying 
between  Switzerland,  the  Milanese,  and  Savoy,  permit  me  to 
humble  myself  at  your  highness's  feet,  in  humble  acknowledgment 
of  the  ecstasy  into  which  you  have  thrown  me.  By  the  honor  of  a 
swindler,  you  are  one  of  the  wonders  of  our  world.  I  always  thought 
myself  the  first  man  in  the  line;  but  in  good  truth  I  doff  my  bonnet 
before  you,  whose  genius  seems  to  supersede  the  lessons  of  experi- 
ence.' '  Then  you  are  no  longer  uneasy  about  the  result,'  said  I,  to 
my  colleague  in  iniquity.  '  O !  as  to  that,  not  in  the  least,'  answered 
he.  '  I  no  longer  care  a  fig  for  Master  Pedro  ;  let  him  come  as  soon 
as  he  pleases,  we  are  a  match  for  him.'  Here  we  are,  then,  Moralez 
and  myself,  safe  seated  on  the  saddle,  and  rising  in  our  stirrups. 
We  even  went  so  far  as  to  begin  settling  the  course  we  should  pursue 
with  the  fortune,  on  which  we  reckoned  so  securely,  that  if  it  had 
already  been  in  our  pockets,  we  could  not  have  chuckled  more  tri- 
umphantly over  the  proverb  of '  a  bird  in  the  hand.'    Yet  we  were 


ADVENTUItES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  279 

not  in  actual  possession,  wliicli  is  more  than  legal  right ;  and  the 
sequel  of  the  adventure  proved  to  us,  that  many  things  fall  out 
between  the  cup  and  the  lip. 

"  We  very  soon  saw  the  young  man  of  Calatrava  returning.  He 
was  accompanied  by  two  citizens  and  by  an  alguazil,  whose  dignity 
was  as  much  supported  by  his  whiskers,  and  by  the  lowering  over- 
cast of  his  swarthy  aspect,  as  by  the  weight  of  his  official  character. 
Florence's  father  was  of  the  party.  'Signer  de  Moyadas,'  said 
Pedro  to  him,  '  here  are  three  honest  people  come  to  answer  for  me ; 
they  are  acquainted  with  my  person,  and  can  tell  you  who  I  am.' 
'  Yes,  undoubtedly,'  exclaimed  the  alguazil,  '  I  can  depose  to  the 
fact.  I  certify  to  all  those  whom  it  may  concern,  that  you  are 
known  to  me ;  your  name  is  Pedro,  and  you  are  the  only  son  of 
Juan  Velez  de  la  Membrilla :  whosoever  dares  to  maintain  the  con- 
trary is  an  impostor.'  '  I  believe  you  implicitly,  master  alguazil,' 
said  the  good  creature  Jerome  de'Moyadas,  rather  dryly.  '  Your  evi- 
dence is  gospel  to  me,  as  well  as  that  of  these  fair  and  honest  trades- 
men you  have  brought  with  you.  I  am  fully  satisfied  that  the  young 
gentleman  on  whose  behalf  you  come  is  the  only  son  of  my  brother's 
correspondent.  But  what  is  that  to  me  ?  I  am  no  longer  in  the 
humor  to  give  him  my  daughter;  so  there  is  an  end  of  that.' 

" '  Oh !  then  it  is  quite  another  matter,'  said  the  alguazil.  '  I 
only  come  to  your  house  for  the  purpose  of  assuring  you  that  this 
young  man  is  no  impostor.  You  have  the  authority  of  a  parent 
over  your  child,  and  no  one  has  any  right  to  dictate  to  you  how  you 
are  to  marry  her,  and  whether  you  will  or  no.'  '  Neither  do  I  on 
my  part,'  interrupted  Pedro,  '  pretend  to  lay  any  force  on  the  incli- 
nations of  Signor  de  Moyadas  ;  but  he  will  perhaps  allow  me  to  ask 
him  why  he  has  so  suddenly  changed  his  resolution.  Has  he  any 
reason  to  be  dissatisfied  with  me  ?  Alas  1  let  me  at  least  understand 
that,  in  losing  the  sweet  hope  of  becoming  his  son-in-law,  my  pro- 
mised bliss  has  not  been  wrested  from  me  by  any  misconduct  of  my 
own.'  '  I  have  no  complaint  to  make  of  you,'  answered  the  old  man  ; 
'nay,  I  will  even  tell  you  more ;  it  is  with  sincere  sorrow  that  I  find 
myself  under  the  necessity  of  breaking  my  word  with  you,  and  I 
heartily  beseech  you  to  forgive  me  for  having  done  so.  I  am  per- 
suaded that  you  are  too  generous  to  bear  me  any  ill-will  for  having 
thrown  the  balance  into  the  scale  of  a  rival,  who  has  saved  my  life. ' 
You  see  him  here,'  pursued  he,  introducing  my  noble  self;  'this  is 
the  illustrious  personage  who  threw  round  me  the  shield  of  his  pro- 
tection in  my  great  peril :  and,  the  better  still  to  apologize  for  my 
seemingly  harsh  treatment  of  yourself,  you  are  to  know  that  he  is 
an  Italian  prince.' 

"At  these  last  words,  Pedro  was  dumfounded,  and  looked  as  if 


280  AJD  VENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

he  could  not  help  it.  The  two  tradesmen  opened  their  eyes  as  wide 
as  they  could  stare,  with  surprise  at  finding  themselves  for  the  first 
time  in  princely  society.  But  the  alguazil,  in  the  habit  of  looking 
at  things  with  the  cross  eye  of  suspicion,  divined  most  perspicuously 
that  this  marvellous  adventure  must  be  a  complete  humbug ;  and 
the  verification  of  the  prophecy  was  calculated  to  put  money  into 
the  pocket  of  the  prophet.  He  therefore  conned  over  my  counte- 
nance with  a  very  inquisitive  regard ;  but  as  my  features,  which 
were  new  to  justice,  threw  him  out  most  cruelly  from  hunting 
down  the  game  he  was  in  chase  of,  he  had  no  alternative  but  to  try 
his  luck  on  my  companion.  Unfortunately  for  my  highness  of  the 
inaccessible  valleys,  he  knew  again  the  hang-dog  features  of  Mor- 
alez ;  and  recollecting  to  have  seen  him  within  the  purlieus  of  a 
jail,  'Ay,  ay !'  exclaimed  he,  '  this  is  one  of  my  established  custom- 
ers. This  gentleman  is  a  particular  acquaintance  of  mine,  and  you 
may  take  his  character  from  me  for  one  of  the  rankest  rascals  within 
the  kingdoms  and  principalities  of  Spain.'  '  Softly !  look  before 
you  leap,  most  adventurous  alguazil,'  .said  Jerome  de  Moyadas ; 
'  this  lad,  of  whom  you  draw  so  unfavorable  a  picture,  is  in  the 
travelling  retinue  of  a  prince.'  'So  much  the  better,'  retorted  the 
alguazil ;  '  a  man  would  not  desire  clearer  evidence  on  which  to 
bring  in  his  verdict.  If  we  can  but  hang  the  servant,  we  shall  soon 
send  the  master  to  the  devil.  The  case  is  as  undeniable  as  a  feed 
counsel's  plea  ;  these  pleasant  sparks  are  a  couple  of  fortune-hunt- 
ers, who  have  laid  their  heads  together  to  take  you  in.  I  am  an 
old  hound  upon  this  scent;  so  that,  by  way  of  proof  presumptive 
that  these  merry  vagabonds  are  within  the  contemplation  of  the 
law  in  that  case  provided,  I  shall  lodge  them  where  they  will  be 
well  taken  care  of.  They  will  have  plenty  of  time  for  meditation 
under  the  chastising  philosophy  of  a  turnkey ;  or  should  confine- 
ment fail  to  mend  their  morals,  we  have  a  sort  of  tangible  discip- 
line, which  insinuates  reformation  by  the  inlet  of  a  smarting  hide.' 
'Stop  there,  and  bethink  you  in  good  time,  master  officer,'  rejoined 
the  old  gentleman :  '  we  must  not  draw  the  cord  tighter  than  it  will 
bear.  You  never  make  any  bones,  you  hangers-on  of  the  law,  about 
hurting  the  feelings  of  better  men  than  yourselves.  May  not  this 
servant  be  a  common  cheat,  without  his  master  being  a  swindler  ? 
Princes  are  persons  of  honor  as  a  matter  of  course ;  yet  the  retainers 
to  a  court  are  inordinate  rascals;  it  requires  no  conjurer  to  find 
that  out.'  'Are  you  playing  into  the  hands  of  your  deluders,  with 
your  princes ?'  interrupted  the  alguazil.  'This  new  manufacturer  of 
false  pretences  is  a  proficient,  take  my  word  for  it;  but  I  shall 
quench  his  zeal  in  the  service,  and  gravel  the  ingenuity  of  his  part- 
ner, with  a  whereas  and  a  commitment  in  due  form.     The  scouts  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  281 

justice  are  all  round  the  door,  who  will  worry  their  game  every  inch 
of  the  chase,  if  they  do  not  suffer  themselves  to  be  taken  quietly  on 
their  form.  So  come  along,  may  it  please  your  serene  highness ;  let 
us  proceed  to  our  destination.' 

"  This  upshot  of  the  business  was  a  death-blow  to  me,  as  well  as 
to  Moralez ;  and  our  confusion  did  but  infuse  doubts  into  the  mind 
of  Jerome  de  Moyadas,  or  rather  burned,  sunk,  and  destroyed  us  in 
his  esteem.  He  began  rather  to  think,  not  without  reason,  that  we 
had  some  little  design  to  impose  on  his  credulity.  Nevertheless  he 
acted  on  this  occasion  in  the  spirit  of  a  man  of  honor  and  a  gentle- 
man. *  My  good  friend  and  protector,'  said  he  to  the  alguazil,  '  your 
_  conjectures  may  be  without  foundation ;  on  the  other  hand,  they 
may  turn  out  to  have  too  much  truth  in  them.  Whichever  of  these 
alternatives  may  be  the  fact,  let  us  not  look  too  curiously  into  their 
characters.  They  are  both  young,  and  have  time  enough  for 
amendment  if  they  want  it ;  let  them  go  their  ways,  and  withdraw 
whithersoever  it  may  best  please  them.  Make  no  opposition,  I  be- 
seech you,  to  their  safe  egress ;  it  is  a  favor  which  you  may  consider 
as  done  to  me,  and  my  motive  for  asking  it  is  to  acquit  myself  of  my 
debt  to  them.'  '  If  my  heart  was  not  too  soft  for  my  profession,' 
answered  the  alguazil,  '  I  should  lodge  these  pretty  gentlemen  in 
limbo,  in  defiance  of  all  your  pleadings  in  their  favor ;  but  your 
eloquence  and  my  susceptibility  have  relax,ed  the  stern  demeanor  of 
justice  for  this  evening.  Let  them,  however,  leave  town  on  the  spur 
of  the  occasion  ;  for  if  I  come  across  them  to-morrow,  and  there  is 
any  faith  in  an  alguazil,  they  shall  see  such  sport  as  will  be  no  sport 
for  them.' 

"  When  it  was  signified  to  Moralez  and  me,  culprits  as  we  were, 
that  we  were  to  be  let  off  scot  free,  we  polished  up  the  brass  upon 
our  foreheads  a  little.  It  was  time  now  to  bounce  and  swagger,  and 
to  maintain  that  we  were  men  of  undeniable  respectability ;  but  the 
alguazil  looked  askew  at  us,  and  muttered  that  least  said  was 
soonest  mended.  I  do  not  know  how,  but  those  gentry  have  a 
strange  knack  of  curbing  our  genius;  they  are  complete  lords  of 
the  ascendant.  Florence  and  her  dowry,  therefore,  were  lost  to 
Pedro  de  la  Membrilla  by  a  turn  of  the  dice,  and  we  may  conclude 
that  he  was  received  as  the  son-in-law  of  Jerome  de  Moyadas.  I 
took  to  my  heels  with  my  companion.  We  blundered  on  the  road 
to  Truxillo,  with  the  consolation  at  our  hearts  of  having  at  least 
pocketed  a  hundred  pistoles  by  our  frolic.  An  hour  before  night- 
fall we  passed  through  a  little  village,  with  the  intention  of  putting 
up  for  the  evening  at  the  next  stage.  An  inn  of  very  tolerable  ap- 
pearance for  the  place  attracted  our  notice.  The  landlord  and 
landlady  were  sitting  at  the  door,  on  a  long  bench  such  as  usually 


282  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

graces  a  pot-house  porch.  Our  host,  a  tall  man,  withered,  and  with 
one  foot  in  the  grave,  was  tinkling  on  a  cracked  guitar  to  the  un- 
bounded emolument  of  his  wife,  whose  faculties  seemed  to  hang  in 
rapture  on  the  performance.  'Gentlemen,'  cried  out  the  intrepid 
tavern-keeper,  when  he  found  that  we  were  not  upon  the  halt,  '  you 
will  do  well  to  stop  here ;  you  will  fare  worse  farther  oflf.  There  is 
a  devil  of  a  three  leagues  to  the  nearest  village,  and  you  will  find 
nothing  to  make  you  amends  for  what  you  leave  behind  ;  you  may 
assure  yourselves  of  that.  Take  a  word  of  advice,  know  when  you 
are  well  used ;  I  will  treat  you  with  the  fat  of  the  land,  and  charge 
you  at  the  lowest  rate.'  There  was  no  resisting  such  a  plea.  We 
came  up  to  our  courteous  entertainers,  paid  them  the  compliments 
of  course,  and  sitting  down  by  their  side,  the  conversation  was  sup- 
ported by  all  four  on  the  different  topics  of  the  day.  Our  host  an- 
nounced himself  as  an  officer  of  the  Holy  Brotherhood,  and  his  rib 
was  a  fat,  laughing  squab  of  a  woman,  with  outward  good  nature, 
but  with  an  eye  to  make  the  most  of  her  commodities. 

*'  Our  discourse  was  broken  in  upon  by  the  arrival  of  from  twelve 
to  fifteen  riders,  some  mounted  on  mules,  others  on  horseback, 
followed  by  about  thirty  sumpter-mules  laden  with  packages.  '  Ah, 
what  a  princely  retinue  !'  exclaimed  the  landlord  at  the  sight  of  so 
much  company;  'where  can  I  put  them  all?'  In  an  instant  the 
village  was  crammed  full  of  men  and  beasts.  As  luck  would  have 
it,  there  was  near  the  inn  an  immense  barn,  where  the  sumpter- 
mules  and  their  packages  were  secured ;  the  saddle-mules  and  horses 
were  taken  care  of  in  other  places.  As  for  their  masters,  they 
thought  less  about  bespeaking  beds  than  about  calling  for  the  bill 
of  fare,  and  ordering  a  good  supper.  The  host  and  hostess,  with  a 
servant  girl  whom  they  kept,  were  all  upon  the  alert  to  make  things 
agreeable.  They  laid  a  heavy  hand  upon  all  the  fowls  in  the 
poultry-yard.  These  precious  roasts,  with  some  undisguised  rabbits, 
cats  in  the  masquerade  of  a  fricassee,  and  a  deluging  tureen  of  soup, 
stinking  of  cabbage  and  greasy  with  mutton  fat,  were  enough  to 
have  given  a  sickener  to  the  inveterate  stomachs  of  a  regiment. 

"  As  for  Moralez  and  myself,  we  cast  a  scrutinizing  eye  on  these 
troopers ;  nor  were  they  behindhand  in  passing  their  secret  judg- 
ments upon  us.  At  last  we  came  together  in  conversation,  and  it 
was  proposed  on  our  part,  if  they  had  no  objection,  that  we  should 
all  sup  together.  They  assured  us  that  they  should  be  extremely 
happy  in  our  company.  Here  we  are,  then,  all  seated  round  the 
table.  There  was  one  among  them  who  seemed  to  take  the  lead ; 
and  for  whom  the  rest,  though  in  the  main  they  were  on  the  most 
intimate  terms  with  him,  thought  it  necessary  on  some  occasions  to 
testify  their  deference.    In  case  of  a  dispute,  this  high  gentleman 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  283 

assumed  the  umpire;  he  talked  in  a  tone  above  the  common  pitch, 
going  so  far  sometimes  as  to  contradict  in  no  very  courtly  phrase 
the  sentiments  of  others,  who,  far  from  giving  him  back  his  own, 
were  ready  to  swear  to  his  assertions  and  crouch  under  his  rebuke. 
By  accident  the  discourse  turned  on  Andalusia.  Moralez  happening 
to  launch  out  into  the  praise  of  Seville,  the  man  about  whom  I  have 
been  talking  said  to  him,  '  My  good  fellow-traveller,  you  are  ringing 
the  chimes  on  the  city  which  gave  birth  to  me ;  at  least  I  am  a 
native  of  the  neighborhood,  since  the  little  town  of  Mayrena  is 
answerable  for  my  appearance  in  the  world.'  'I  have  the  same 
story  to  tell  you,'  answered  my  companion.  '  I  am  also  of  Mayrena, 
.and  it  is  scarcely  possible  but  that  our  families  should  be  acquainted. 
Whose  son  are  you?'  'An  honest  notary's,'  replied  the  stranger, 
*  by  name  Martin  Moralez.'  '  As  fate  will  have  it,'  exclaimed  my 
comrade  with  emotion,  'the  adventure  is  very  remarkable!  You 
are,  then,  my  eldest  brother,  Manuel  Moralez.'  '  Exactly  so,'  said 
the  other ;  '  and  if  my  senses  do  not  deceive  me,  you  your  very  self 
are  my  little  brother  Lewis,  whom  I  left  in  the  cradle  when  I  turned 
my  back  upon  my  father's  house?'  '  You  are  right  in  your  conjec- 
tures,' answered  my  honest  colleague.  At  this  discovery,  they  both 
got  up  from  table,  and  almost  hugged  the  breath  out  of  each  other's 
bodies.  At  last  Signor  Manuel  said  to  the  company,  '  Gentlemen, 
this  circumstance  is  altogether  marvellous.  By  mere  chance,  I 
have  met  with  a  brother,  and  have  been  challenged  by  him,  whom 
I  have  not  seen  for  more  than  twenty  years:  allow  me  to  introduce 
him.'  At  once  all  the  travellers,  who  had  risen  from  their  seats 
out  of  curiosity  and  good  manners,  paid  their  compliments  to  the 
younger  Moralez,  and  made  him  run  the  gauntlet  through  their 
salutations.  When  these  were  over,  the  party  returned  to  the 
table ;  nor  did  they  think  any  more  of  an  adjournment.  Bedtime 
never  entered  into  their  heads.  The  two  brothers  sat  next  to  one 
another,  and  talked  in  a  whisper  about  their  family  affairs;  the 
other  guests  plied  the  bottle,  and  made  merry  in  a  louder  key. 

"  Lewis  had  a  long  conference  with  Manuel,  and  afterwards 
taking  me  aside,  said  to  me,  'AH  these  troopers  belong  to  the 
household  of  the  Count  de  Montanos,  whom  the  king  has  very  lately 
appointed  to  the  vice-regal  government  of  Majorca.  They  are  con- 
voying the  equipage  of  the  viceroy  to  Alicant,  where  they  are  to 
embark.  My  brother,  who  has  risen  to  be  steward  to  that  noble- 
man, proposes  to  take  me  along  with  him ;  and  on  the  difficulty  I 
started  about  leaving  you,  he  told  me  that  if  you  would  be  of  the 
party,  he  would  procure  you  a  good  berth.  My  dear  friend,' 
pursued  he,  '  I  advise  you  not  to  stand  out  against  this  proposal. 
Let  us  take  flight  together  for  the  island  of  Majorca.    If  we  find 


284  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

our  quarters  pleasant,  we  will  fix  there ;  and  if  tliey  are  otherwise, 
we  have  nothing  to  do  but  to  return  into  Spain.' 

"  I  accepted  the  proposal  with  the  best  grace  possible.  What  a 
reenforcement,  in  the  person  of  young  Moralez  and  myself,  to  the 
household  of  the  count !  We  took  our  departure  in  a  body  from  the 
inn,  before  daybreak.  We  got  to  the  city  of  Alicant  by  long  stages, 
and  there  I  bought  a  guitar,  and  arranged  my  dress  in  a  manner 
suited  to  my  new  destination  before  we  embarked.  Nothing  ran  in 
my  head  but  the  island  of  Majorca,  and  Lewis  Moralez  was  a  new 
man  as  well  as  myself.  It  should  seem  as  though  we  had  bid  fare- 
well to  the  rogueries  of  this  wicked  world.  Yet,  not  to  play  the 
liar  in  the  ear  of  so  rigorous  a  confessor  as  my  own  conscience,  we 
had  a  mind  not  to  pass  for  villains  incarnate,  now  that  we  had  got 
into  company  that  had  some  pretensions  to  decency :  and  that  was 
the  sum  total  of  our  honesty.  The  natural  bent  of  our  genius 
remained  much  the  same ;  we  were  still  men  of  business,  but  just 
now  keeping  a  vacation.  In  short,  we  went  on  board  gallantly  and 
gayly  in  this  lucid  interval  of  innocence,  and  had  no  idea  but  of 
landing  at  Majorca  under  the  especial  care  of  Neptune  and  ^l^olus. 
Hardly,  however,  had  we  cleared  the  gulf  of  Alicant,  when  a  sudden 
and  violent  storm  arose,  enough  to  have  frightened  better  men. 
Now  is  my  opportunity,  or  never,  to  speak  of  moving  accidents  by 
flood  ;  to  set  the  atmosphere  on  fire,  and  give  a  louder  explosion  to 
the  thunder-cloud ;  to  compare  the  whistling  of  the  winds  to  the 
factions  of  a  populace,  and  the  rolling  of  the  waves  to  the  shock  of 
conflicting  hosts;  with  other  such  old-fashioned  phraseologies  as 
have  been  heirlooms  of  Parnassus  from  time  immemorial.  But  it  is 
useless  to  be  poetical  without  invention.  SuflBce  it  therefore  to 
say,  in  slang  metaphor,  that  the  storm  was  a  devil  of  a  storm,  and 
obliged  us  to  stand  in  for  the  point  of  Cabrera.  This  is  a  desert 
island,  with  a  small  fort,  at  that  time  garrisoned  by  an  officer  and 
five  or  six  soldiers.     Our  reception  was  hospitable  and  cordial. 

"  As  it  was  necessary  for  us  to  stay  there  some  days,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  refitting  our  sails  and  rigging,  we  devised  various  kinds  of 
amusements  to  keep  off*  the  foul  fiend  melancholy.  Every  one  did 
as  seemed  good  in  his  own  eyes :  some  played  at  cards,  others  di- 
verted themselves  in  other  ways  ;  but  as  for  me,  I  went  about  ex- 
ploring the  island,  with  such  of  our  gentry  as  had  either  a  curiosity 
or  a  taste  for  the  picturesque.  We  were  frequently  obliged  to  clam- 
ber from  rock  to  rock  ;  for  the  face  of  the  country  is  rugged,  and  the 
soil  scanty,  presenting  a  scene  difficult  of  access,  but  interesting  from 
its  wildness.  One  day,  while  we  were  speculating  on  these  dry  and 
barren  prospects,  and  extracting  a  moral  from  the  vagaries  of  naturt*, 
who  can  8well  into  the  fruitful  mother  and  the  copious  nurse,  or 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  285 

shrink  into  the  lean  and  loathsome  skeleton,  as  she  pleases,  our  sense 
was  all  at  once  regaled  with  a  most  delicious  fragrance.  We  turned 
as  with  a  common  impulse  towards  the  east,  whence  the  scent  gale 
seemed  to  come.  To  our  utter  astonishment,  we  discovered  among 
the  rocks  a  green  plat  of  considerable  dimensions,  gay  with  honey- 
suckles more  luxuriant  and  more  odorous  than  even  those  which 
thrive  so  greatly  in  the  climate  of  Andalusia,  We  were  not  sorry  to 
approach  nearer  these  delicious  shrubs,  which  were  wasting  their 
sweetness  in  such  unchecked  profusion,  when  it  turned  out  that  they 
lined  the  entrance  to  a  very  deep  cavern.  The  opening  was  wide, 
and  the  recess  in  consequence  partially  illuminated.  We  were  de- 
termined to  explore ;  and  descended  by  some  stone  steps  overgrown 
with  flowers  on  each  side,  so  that  it  was  difficult  to  say  whether  the 
approach  was  formed  by  art  or  nature.  When  we  had  got  down,  we 
saw  several  little  streams  winding  over  a  sand,  the  yellow  lustre  of 
which  outrivalled  gold.  These  drew  their  sources  from  the  contin- 
ual distillation  of  the  rock  within,  and  lost  themselves  again  in  the 
hollows  of  the  ground.  The  water  looked  so  clear,  that  we  were 
tempted  to  drink  of  it;  and  such  was  its  freshness,  that  we  made  a 
party  to  return  the  next  day,  with  some  bottles  of  generous  wine, 
which  we  were  persuaded  would  acquire  new  zest  from  the  retreat 
where  they  were  to  be  quaffed. 

"  It  was  not  without  regret  that  we  left  so  agreeable  a  place ;  nor 
did  we  omit,  on  our  return  to  the  fort,  boasting  among  our  comrades 
of  so  interesting  a  discovery.  The  commander  of  the  fortress,  how- 
ever, with  the  warmest  professions  of  friendship,  warned  us  against 
going  any  more  to  the  cavern,  with  which  we  were  so  much  de- 
lighted. '  And  why  so  ?'  said  I ;  *  is  there  anything  to  be  afraid  of?' 
'  Most  undoubtedly,'  answered  he.  '  The  corsairs  of  Algiers  and 
Tripoli  sometimes  land  upon  this  island,  for  the  purpose  of  watering 
at  that  spring.  One  day  they  surprised  two  soldiers  of  my  garrison 
there,  whom  they  carried  into  slavery.'  It  was  in  vain  that  the  offi- 
cer assumed  a  tone  of  kind  dissuasion :  nothing  could  prevent  us 
from  going.  We  fancied  that  he  meant  to  play  upon  our  fears ;  and 
the  day  following  I  returned  to  the  cavern  with  three  adventurous 
blades  of  our  establishment.  We  were  even  foolhardy  enough  to 
leave  our  firearms  behind  as  a  sort  of  bravado.  Young  Moralez  de- 
clined being  of  the  party :  the  fort  and  the  gaming-table  had  more 
charms  for  him,  as  well  as  for  his  brother. 

"  We  went  down  to  the  bottom  of  the  cave  as  on  the  preceding 
day,  and  set  some  bottles  of  the  wine  we  had  brought  with  us  to  cool 
in  the  rivulets.  While  we  were  enjoying  them  in  all  the  luxury  of 
elegant  conviviality,  our  wits  set  in  motion  by  the  novelty  of  the 
scene,  and  the  echo  reverberating  to  the  music  of  our  guitars,  we  es- 


286  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

pied  at  the  mouth  of  the  cavern  several  abominable  faces  overgrown 
with  whiskers  ;  neither  did  their  turbans  and  Turkish  dresses  render 
them  a  whit  more  amiable  in  our  conceits.  We  nevertheless  took  it 
into  our  heads  that  it  was  a  frolic  of  our  own  party,  set  on  by  the 
commanding  officer  of  the  fort,  and  that  they  had  disguised  them- 
selves for  the  purpose  of  playing  us  a  trick.  With  this  impression 
on  our  minds,  we  set  up  a  horse-laugh,  and  allowed  a  quiet  entrance 
to  about  ten,  without  thinking  of  making  any  resistance.  In  a  few 
moments  our  eyes  were  opened  to  that  fatal  error,  and  we  were  con- 
vinced, in  sober  sadness,  that  it  was  a  corsair  at  the  head  of  his  crew, 
come  to  carry  us  away.  '  Surrender,  you  Christian  dogs,'  cried  he,  in 
most  outlandish  Castilian, '  or  prepare  for  instant  death.'  At  the  same 
time  the  men  who  accompanied  him  levelled  their  pieces  at  us,  and 
our  ribs  would  have  been  well  lined  with  the  contents  if  we  had  re- 
sisted in  the  least.  Slavery  seemed  the  better  alternative  than  death, 
80  that  we  delivered  our  swords  to  the  pirate.  He  ordered  us  to  be 
handcuffed  and  carried  on  board  his  vessel,  which  was  moored  not 
far  off;  then,  setting  sail,  he  steered  with  a  fair  wind  towards 
Algiers. 

"Thus  were  we  punished  for  having  neglected  the  warning  given 
us  by  the  officer  of  the  garrison.  The  first  thing  that  the  corsair  did 
was  to  put  his  hand  into  our  pockets  and  make  free  with  our  money. 
No  bad  windfall  for  him  !  The  two  hundred  pistoles  from  the  green- 
horns at  Placentia ;  the  hundred  which  Moralez  had  received  from 
Jerome  de  Moyadas,  and  which,  as  ill  luck  would  have  it,  were  in 
my  custody ;  all  this  was  swept  away  without  a  single  qualm  of  con- 
science. My  companions,  too,  had  their  purses  well  lined ;  and  it 
was  all  fish  that  came  to  the  net.  The  pirate  seemed  to  chuckle  at 
80  successful  a  drag ;  and  the  scoundrel,  not  contented  with  chousing 
us  of  our  cash,  insulted  us  with  his  infernal  Moorish  witticisms :  but 
the  edge  of  his  satire  was  not  half  so  keen  as  the  dire  necessity  which 
made  us  the  subject  of  it.  After  a  thousand  clumsy  sarcasms,  he 
called  for  the  bottles  which  we  had  set  to  cool  in  the  fountain  ;  those 
irreligious  Mohammedans  not  having  scrupled  to  load  their  consci- 
ences with  the  conveyance  of  the  unholy  fermentation.  The  master 
and  his  man  pledged  one  another  in  many  a  Christian  bumper,  and 
drank  to  our  better  acquaintance  with  a  most  provoking  mockery. 

"  While  this  farce  was  acting,  my  comrades  wore  a  hanging  look, 
which  testified  how  pleasantly  their  thoughts  were  employed.  They 
were  so.  much  the  more  out  of  conceit  with  their  captivity,  as  they 
thought  they  had  drawn  a  prize  in  the  lottery  of  human  life.  The 
island  of  Majorca,  with  all  its  luxuries  and  delights,  was  a  melan- 
choly contrast  with  their  present  situation.  For  my  part,  I  had  the 
good  sense  to  take  things  as  I  found  them.    Less  put  out  of  my  way 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS.  287 

by  my  misfortune  than  the  rest,  I  joined  in  conversation  with  this 
transmarine  joker,  and  showed  him  that  wit  was  the  common  lan- 
guage of  Africa  and  of  Europe.  He  was  pleased  with  my  accom- 
modating spirit.  *  Young  man,'  said  he,  '  instead  of  groaning  and 
sighing,  you  do  well  to  arm  yourself  with  patience,  and  to  fall  in 
with  the  current  of  your  destiny.  Play  us  a  little  air,'  continued 
he,  observing  that  I  had  a  guitar  by  my  side ;  '  let  us  have  a  speci- 
men of  your  skill.'  I  complied  Avith  his  command,  as  soon  ati  my 
arms  were  loosened  from  their  confinement,  and  began  to  thrum 
away  in  a  style  that  drew  down  the  applauses  of  my  discerning 
audience.  It  is  true  that  I  had  been  taught  by  the  best  master  in 
Madrid,  and  that  I  played  very  tolerably  for  an  amateur  upon  that 
instrument.  A  song  was  then  called  for,  and  my  voice  gave  equal 
satisfaction.  All  the  Turks  on  board  testified  by  gestures  of  admi- 
ration the  delight  with  which  my  performance  inspired  them ;  from 
which  circumstance  it  was  but  modest  to  conclude,  that  vocal  music 
had  made  no  very  extraordinary  progress  in  their  part  of  the  world. 
The  pirate  whispered  in  my  ear,  that  my  slavery  should  be  no  dis- 
advantage to  me ;  and  that  with  my  talents  I  might  reckon  upon  an 
employment,  by  which  my  lot  would  be  rendered  not  only  support- 
able, but  happy. 

"  I  felt  somewhat  encouraged  by  these  assurances  ;  but,  flattering 
as  they  were,  I  was  not  without  my  uneasiness  as  to  the  employ- 
ment, which  the  corsair  held  out  as  a  nameless  but  invaluable  boon. 
When  we  arrived  in  the  port  of  Algiers,  a  great  number  of  persons 
were  collected  to  receive  us ;  and  we  had  not  yet  disembarked,  when 
they  uttered  a  thousand  shouts  of  joy.  Add  to  this,  that  the  air  re- 
echoed with  a  confused  sound  of  trumpets,  of  Moorish  flutes,  and 
of  other  instruments,  the  fashion  of  that  country,  forming  a  sym- 
phony of  deafening  clangor,  but  very  doubtful  harmony.  The 
occasion  of  these  rejoicings  proceeded  from  a  false  report,  which 
had  been  current  about  the  town.  It  had  been  the  general  talk 
that  the  renegado  Mahomet,— meaning  our  amiable  pirate,— had 
lost  his  life  in  the  attack  of  a  large  Genoese  vessel;  so  that  all  his 
friends,  informed  of  his  return,  were  eager  to  hail  him  with  these 
thundering  demonstrations  of  attachment. 

"  We  had  no  sooner  set  foot  on  shore,  than  my  companions  and 
myself  were  conducted  to  the  palace  of  the  bashaw  Soliman,  where 
a  Christian  secretary,  questioning  us  individually  one  after  another, 
inquired  into  our  names,  our  ages,  our  country,  our  religion,  and  our 
qualifications.  Then  Mahomet,  presenting  me  to  the  bashaw,  paid 
my  voice  more  compliments  than  it  deserved,  and  told  him  that  I 
played  on  the  guitar  with  a  most  ravishing  expression.  This  was 
enough  to  influence  Soliman  in  his  choice  of  me  for  hia  own  imrne* 


288  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

diate  service.  I  took  up  my  abode  therefore  in  his  seraglio.  The 
other  captives  were  led  into  the  public  market,  and  sold  there  at  the 
usual  rate  of  Christian  cattle.  What  Mahomet  had  foretold  to  me 
on  shipboard  was  completely  verified ;  my  condition  was  exactly  to 
my  mind.  I  was  not  consigned  to  the  stronghold  of  a  prison,  nor 
kept  to  any  works  of  oppressive  labor.  My  indulgent  master  sta- 
tioned me  in  a  particular  quarter,  with  five  or  six  slaves  of  superior 
rank,  who  were  in  momentary  expectation  of  being  ransomed,  and 
were  therefore  favored  in  the  distribution  of  our  tasks.  The  care  of 
watering  the  orange-trees  and  flowers  in  the  gardens  was  allotted  as 
my  portion.  There  could  not  be  a  more  agreeable  or  less  fatiguing 
employment. 

"  Soliman  was  a  man  of  about  forty  years  of  age,  well  made  as  to 
figure,  tolerably  accomplished  as  to  his  mind,  and  as  much  of  a 
lady's  man  as  could  be  expected  from  a  Turk.  His  favorite  was  a 
Cashmirian,  whose  wit  and  beauty  had  acquired  an  absolute  do- 
minion over  his  affections.  He  loved  her  even  to  idolatry.  Not  a 
day  but  he  paid  his  court  to  her  by  some  elegant  entertainment ;  at 
one  time  a  concert  of  vocal  and  instrumental  music,  at  another,  a 
dramatic  performance  after  the  fashion  of  the  Turks,  which  fashion 
implies  a  loose  sort  of  comedy,  where  moral  and  modesty  enter 
about  as  much  into  the  contemplation  of  the  contriver  as  do  Aris- 
totle and  his  unities.  The  favorite,  whose  name  was  Farrukhnaz, 
was  passionately  enamored  of  these  exhibitions ;  she  sometimes 
even  got  up  among  her  own  women  some  Arabian  melodramas  to 
be  performed  before  her  admirer.  She  took  some  of  the  parts  her- 
self, and  charmed  the  spectators  by  the  abundant  grace  and  viva- 
city of  her  action.  One  day,  when  I  was  among  the  musicians  at 
one  of  these  representations,  Soliman  ordered  me  to  play  on  the 
guitar,  and  to  sing  a  solo  between  the  acts  of  the  piece.  I  had  the 
good  fortune  to  give  satisfaction,  and  was  received  with  applause. 
The  favorite  herself,  if  my  vanity  did  not  mislead  me,  cast  glances 
towards  me  of  no  unfavorable  interpretation. 

"  On  the  next  day,  as  I  was  watering  the  orange-trees  in  the  gar- 
dens, there  passed  close  by  me  a  eunuch,  who,  without  stopping  or 
saying  a  word,  threw  down  a  note  at  my  feet.  I  picked  it  up  with 
an  emotion  strangely  compounded  of  pleasure  and  alarm.  I  crouched 
upon  the  ground,  for  fear  of  being  observed  from  the  windows  of 
the  seraglio ;  and,  concealing  myself  behind  the  boxes  in  which  the 
orange-trees  were  planted,  opened  this  unexpected  enclosure.  There 
I  found  a  diamond  of  very  considerable  value,  and  these  words,  in 
genuine  Castilian:  'Young  Christian,  return  thanks  to  Heaven  for 
your  captivity.  Love  and  fortune  will  render  it  the  harbinger  of 
your  bliss :  love,  if  you  are  alive  to  the  attractions  of  a  fine  person, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  289 

and  fortune,  if  you  have  the  hardihood  to  confront  danger  in  every 
direction.' 

"  I  could  not  for  a  moment  doubt  that  the  letter  was  written  by 
the  favorite  sultana :  the  style  and  the  diamond  were  more  than 
presumptive  evidence  against  her.  Besides  that  nature  did  not  cast 
me  in  the  mould  of  a  coward,  the  vanity  of  keeping  up  a  good 
understanding  with  the  mistress  of  a  scoundrelly  Mohammedan  in 
office,  and,  more  than  all  the  temptations  of  vanity  or  inclination, 
the  hope  of  cajoling  her  out  of  four  times  as  much  as  the  curmud- 
geon her  master  would  demand  for  my  ransom,  put  me  into  conceit 
with  the  intention  of  trying  my  luck  at  a  venture,  whatever  risk 
might  be  incurred  in  the  experiment.  I  went  on  with  my  garden- 
ing, but  always  harping  on  the  means  of  getting  into  the  apartment 
of  Farrukhnaz,  or  rather  waiting  till  she  opened  a  door  of  commu- 
nication ;  for  I  was  clearly  of  opinion  that  she  would  not  stop  upon 
the  threshold,  but  meet  me  half  way  in  the  career  of  love  and 
danger.  My  conjecture  was  not  altogether  without  foundation.  The 
same  eunuch  who  had  led  me  into  this  amorous  reverie  passed  the 
same  way  an  hour  afterwards,  and  said  to  me,  '  Christian,  have  you 
communed  with  your  own  determinations,  and  will  you  win  a  fair 
lady  by  abjuring  a  faint  heart?'  I  answered  in  the  affirmative. 
'  Well  then,'  rejoined  he,  '  heaven  sprinkle  its  dew  upon  your  reso- 
lutions I  You  shall  see  me  betimes  to-morrow  morning.'  With 
this  comfortable  assurance,  he  withdrew.  The  following  day,  I 
actually  saw  him  make  his  appearance  about  eight  o'clock  in  the 
morning.  He  made  a  signal  for  me  to  go  along  with  him :  I  obeyed 
the  summons  ;  and  he  conducted  me  into  a  kail  where  was  a  large 
wrapper  of  canvas,  which  he  and  another  eunuch  had  just  brought 
thither,  with  the  design  of  carrying  it  to  the  sultana's  apartment, 
for  the  purpose  of  furnishing  a  scene  for  an  Arabian  pantomime,  in 
preparation  for  the  amusement  of  the  bashaw. 

"  The  two  eunuchs  unrolled  the  cloth,  and  laid  me  at  my  length 
on  the  proscenium ;  then,  at  the  risk  of  turning  the  farce  into  a 
tragedy  by  stifling  me,  they  rolled  it  up  again,  with  its  palpitating 
contents.  In  the  next  place,  taking  hold  of  it  at  each  end,  they 
conveyed  me  with  impunity  by  this  device  into  the  chamber  devoted 
to  the  repose  of  the  beautiful  Cashmirian.  She  was  alone  with  an 
old  slave  devoted  to  her  wishes.  They  helped  each  other  to  unroll 
their  precious  bale  of  goods;  and  Farrukhnaz,  at  the  sight  of  her 
consignment,  set  up  such  an  alarm  of  delight,  as  exhibited  the 
woman  of  the  East,  without  forgetting  her  prurient  propensities. 
With  all  my  natural  bias  towards  adventure,  I  could  not  recognize 
myself  as  at  once  transported  into  the  private  apartment  of  the 
women,  without  something  like  an  inauspicious  damp  upon  my  joy. 
19 


^90  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

The  lady  was  aware  of  my  feelings,  and  anxious  to  dissipate  the  un- 
pleasant j)art  of  them.  '  Young  man,'  said  she,  '  you  have  nothing 
tc  fear  Soliman  is  just  gone  to  his  country-house:  he  is  safely 
lodged  for  the  day ;  so  that  we  shall  be  able  to  entertain  one  another 
here  at  our  ease.' 

"  Hints  like  these  rallied  my  scattered  spirits,  and  gave  a  cast  to 
my  countenance  which  confirmed  the  speculation  of  the  favorite. 
'  You  have  won  my  heart,'  pursued  she,  *  and  it  is  in  my  contempla- 
tion tc  soften  the  severity  of  your  bondage.  You  seem  to  be  worthy 
of  the  sentiments  which  I  have  conceived  for  you.  Though  dis- 
guised under  the  garb  of  a  slave,  your  air  is  noble,  and  your  physi- 
ognomy of  a  character  to  recommend  you  to  the  good  graces  of  a 
lady.  Such  an  exterior  must  belong  to  one  above  the  common. 
Unbosom  yourself  to  me  in  confidence;  tell  me  who  you  are.  I 
know  that  captives  of  superior  condition  and  family  disguise  their 
real  circumstances,  to  be  redeemed  at  a  lower  rate :  but  you  have 
DC  inducement  to  practice  such  a  deception  on  me ;  and  it  would 
even  be  a  precaution  revolting  to  my  designs  in  your  favor,  since  I 
here  pledge  myself  for  your  liberty.  Deal  with  sincerity  therefore, 
and  own  to  me  at  once  that  you  are  a  youth  of  illustrious  rank.' 
'In  good  earnest  then,  madam,'  answered  I,  *it  would  ill  become 
me  to  repay  your  generous  partiality  with  dissimulation.  You  are 
absolutely  bent  upon  it,  that  1  should  intrust  you  with  the  secret  of 
my  quality,  and  commands  like  yours  are  not  to  be  questioned  or 
resisted.  I  am  the  son  of  a  Spanish  grandee.'  And  so  it  might 
actually  have  been,  for  anything  that  I  know  to  the  contrary ;  at 
all  events,  the  sultana  gave  me  credit  for  it,  so  that  with  consider- 
able self-congratulation  at  having  fixed  her  regard  on  a  gentleman 
of  some  little  figure  in  the  world,  she  assured  me  that  it  only  de- 
pended on  herself  whether  or  no  we  should  meet  pretty  often  in 
private.  In  fact,  we  were  no  niggards  of  our  mutual  good  will  at 
the  very  first  approaches.  I  never  met  with  a  woman  who  was  more 
what  a  man  wishes  her  to  be.  She  was,  besides,  an  expert  linguist, 
above  all  in  Castilian,  which  she  spoke  with  fluency  and  purity. 
When  she  conceived  it  to  be  time  for  us  to  part,  I  got  by  her  order 
into  a  large  osier  basket,  with  an  embroidered  silk  covering  of  her 
own  manufacture;  then  the  two  slaves  who  had  brought  me  in 
were  called,  to  carry  me  out  as  a  present  from  the  favorite  to  her 
deluded  lord ;  for  under  this  pretence  it  is  easy  to  screen  any  amor- 
ous exports  from  the  inspection  of  the  officers  intrusted  with  the 
superintendence  of  the  women. 

"As  for  Farrukhnaz  and  myself,  we  were  not  slack  in  other  de- 
vices to  bring  us  together;  and  that  lovely  captive  inspired  me  by 
degrees  with  as  much  love  as  she  herself  entertained  for  me.     Our 


-  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  291 

good  understanding  was  kept  a  profoumi  secret  for  full  two  months, 
notwithstanding  the  extreme  difficulty  in  a  seraglio  of  veiling  the 
mysteries  of  love  for  any  length  of  time  from  those  uninitiated, 
whose  eyes  are  jaundiced  by  their  own  disqualification.  Neither 
was  the  discovery  made  at  last  by  the  means  of  envious  spies.  Au 
unlucky  chance  disconcerted  all  our  little  arrangements,  and  the 
features  of  my  fortune  were  at  once  aggravated  into  a  frown.  One 
day,  when  I  had  been  introduced  into  the  presence  of  the  sultana^ 
in  the  body  of  an  artificial  dragon,  invented  as  a  machine  for  a 
spectacle,  while  we  were  parleying  most  amicably  together,  Soli- 
man,  to  whom  we  had  given  credit  for  having  gone  out  of  town, 
made  his  unwelcome  appearance.  Jle  entered  so  abruptly  into  his 
favorite's  apartment,  as  scarcely  to  leave  time  for  the  old  slave  to 
give  us  notice  of  his  approach.  Still  less  was  there  any  opportunity 
to  conceal  me.  Thus  therefore,  with  all  my  enormities  on  my  head, 
was  I  the  first  object  which  presented  itself  to  the  astonished  eyes 
of  the  bashaw. 

"He  seemed  considerably  startled  at  the  sight;  and  his  coun- 
tenance flashed  with  indignation  on  the  instant.  I  considered  my- 
self as  a  wretch,  just  hovering  on  the  brink  of  the  grave;  and  death 
seemed  arrayed  in  all  the  paraphernalia  of  torture.  As  for  Far- 
rukhnaz,  it  was  very  evident,  in  ^ood  truth,  that  she  was  miserably 
frightened ;  but  instead  of  owning  her  crime  and  imploring  pardon, 
she  said  to  Soliman,  ■*  My  lord,  before  you  pronounce  my  sentence, 
be  pleased  to  hear  my  defence.  Appearances,  doubtless,  condemn 
me^  and  it  must  strike  you  that  I  have  committed  an  act  of  treason 
worthy  the  most  dreadful  punishments.  It  is  true,  I  have  brought 
this  young  captive  hither ;  it  is  true  that  I  have  introduced  him  into 
my  apartment,  with  just  such  artifices  as  I  should  have  used  if  I 
had  entertained  a  violent  passion  for  him.  And  yet,  I  call  our 
great  prophet  to  witness,  in  spite  of  these  seeming  irregularities,  I 
am  not  faithless  to  you.  It  was  my  wish  to  converse  with  this 
Christian  slave,  for  the  purpose  of  disengaging  him  from  his  own 
sect,  and  proselyting  him  to  that  of  the  true  believers.  But  I  have 
found  in  him  a  principle  of  resistance  for  which  I  was  not  well 
prepared.  I  have,  however,  conquered  his  prejudices;  and  he 
came  to  give  me  an  assurance  that  he  would  embrace  Mohammed- 
anism.' 

"  I  do  not  mean  to  deny  that  it  was  an  act  of  duty  to  have  con- 
tradicted the  favorite  flatly,  without  paying  the  least  attention  to 
the  dangerous  predicament  in  which  I  stood ;  but  my  spirits  were 
taken  by  surprise;  the  beloved  partner  of  my  imprudence  was 
hovering  on  the  brink  of  perdition  ;  and  my  own  fate  was  involved 
with  hers.    How  could  I  do  otherwise  than  give  a  silent  and  per- 


292  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

turbed  assent  to  her  impious  fiction  ?  My  tongue,  indeea,  refused 
tc  ratify  it ;  but  the  bashaw,  persuaded  by  my  acquiescence  that  his 
mistress  had  told  him  the  whole  truth,  and  nothing  but  the  truth, 
suffered  his  angry  spirit  to  be  tranquillized.  '  Madam,'  answered 
he,  '  I  am  willing  to  believe  that  you  have  committed  no  infidelity 
towards  me ;  and  that  the  desire  of  doing  a  thing  agreeable  to  the 
prophet  has  been  the  means  of  leading  you  on  to  risk  so  hazardous 
and  delicate  a  proceeding.  I  forgive,  therefore,  your  imprudence, 
on  condition  that  this  captive  assumes  the  turban  on  the  spot.'  He 
sent  immediately  for  a  priest*  to  initiate  me.  My  dress  was  changed 
with  all  due  ceremony  into  the  Turkish.  They  did  just  what  they 
pleased  with  me  ;  nor  had  I  the  courage  to  object;  or,  to  do  myself 
more  justice,  I  knew  not  what  was  becoming  of  me,  in  so  dreadfiil 
a  disorder  of  all  my  faculties  and  feelings.  There  are  other-  good 
Christians  in  the  world,  who  have  been  guilty  of  apostatizing  on 
less  imminent  emergencies  1 

"After  the  ceremony,  I  took  my  leave  of  the  seraglio,  to  go  and 
possess  myself,  under  the  name  of  Sidy  Hali,  of  an  inferior  office 
which  Soliman  had  given  me.  I  never  saw  the  sultana  more;  but 
a  eunuch  of  hers  came  one  day  to  look  after  me.  He  brought  with 
him,  as  a  present  from  his  mistress,  jewels  to  a  very  considerable 
amount,  accompanied  with  a  letter,  in  which  the  lady  assured  me 
she  should  never  forget  my  generous  compliance,  in  turning  Moham- 
medan to  save  her  life.  In  point  of  fact,  besides  these  rich  gifts, 
lavished  upon  me  by  Farrukhnaz,  I  obtained  through  her  interest  a 
more  considerable  employment  than  my  first,  and  in  the  course  of 
six  or  seven  years  became  one  of  the  richest  renegadoes  in  the  town 
of  Algiers. 

"  You  must  be  perfectly  aware,  that  if  I  assisted  at  the  prayers 
put  up  by  the  Mussulmans  in  their  mosques,  or  fulfilled  the  other 
observances  of  their  religion,  it  was  all  a  mere  copy  of  my  coun- 
tenance. My  inclination  was  always  uniform  and  determined  as  to 
returning  before  my  death  into  the  bosom  of  our  holy  church ,  and 
with  this  view  I  looked  forward  to  withdrawing  some  time  or  other 
into  Spain  or  Italy  with  the  riches  I  should  have  accumulated. 
But  there  seemed  no  reason  whatever  against  enjoying  life  in  the 
interval.  I  was  established  in  a  magnificent  mansion,  with  gar- 
dens of  extent  and  beauty,  a  numerous  train  of  slaves,  and  a  well- 
appointed  equipage  of  pretty  girls  in  my  seraglio.  Though  the 
Mohammedans  are  forbidden  the  use  of  wine  in  that  country,  they  are 
not  backward  for  the  most  part  in  their  stolen  libations.    As  for 

*  These  wandering  priests  are  at  present  known  in  Africa  by  the  name  of  Marabut. 
The  first  gymnosophists  of  Ethiopia  most  probably  were    nothing  more. — ^Trass- 

LATOB. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  298 

me,  my  orgies  were  without  either  a  mask  or  a  blush,  after  the  man- 
ner of  my  brother  renegadoes.  I  remember  in  particular  two  of  my 
bottle  companions,  with  whom  I  often  drank  down  the  night  before 
we  rose  from  the  table.  One  was  a  Jew,  and  the  other  an  Arabian. 
I  took  them  to  be  good  sort  of  people ;  and,  with  that  impression, 
lived  in  unconstrained  familiarity  with  them.  One  evening  I  in- 
vited them  to  sup  at  my  house.  On  that  very  day  a  dog  of  mine 
died — it  was  a  pet ;  we  performed  our  pious  oblations  on  his  lifeless 
clay,  and  buried  him  with  all  the  solemn  obsequies  attendant  on  a 
Mohammedan  funeral.  This  act  of  ours  was  not  designed  to  turn  the 
religion  we  outwardly  professed  into  ridicule :  it  was  only  to  fur- 
nish ourselves  with  amusement,  and  give  loose  to  a  ridiculous  whim 
which  struck  us  in  the  moment  of  iollity,  that  of  paying  the  last 
oflSces  of  humanity  to  my  dog. 

"  This  action  was,  however,  very  near  laying  me  by  the  heels.  On 
the  following  day  there  came  a  fellow  to  my  house,  saying,  '  Master 
Sidy  Hali,  it  is  no  laughing  matter  that  induces  me  to  pay  you  this 
visit.  My  employer,  the  cadi,  wants  to  have  a  word  in  your  ear ;  be 
so  good,  if  you  please,  as  just  to  step  to  his  office,  without  loss  of 
time.  An  Arabian  merchant,  who  supped  with  you  last  night,  has 
laid  an  information  respecting  a  certain  act  of  irreverence  perpe- 
trated by  you,  on  occasion  of  a  dog  which  you  buried.  It  is  on  that 
charge  that  I  summon  you  to  appear  this  day  before  the  judge ;  in 
case  of  failure,  you  are  hereby  warned  that  you  will  be  the  subject  of 
a  criminal  prosecution.'  Away  went  he,  leaving  me  to  digest  his  dis- 
course ;  but  the  citation  stuck  in  my  throat,  and  took  away  my  appe- 
tite. The  Arabian  had  no  reason  whatever  to  set  his  face  against  me; 
and  I  could  not  comprehend  the  meaning  of  the  dog's  trick  the 
scoundrel  had  played  me.  The  circumstances,  at  all  events,  de- 
manded my  prompt  attention.  I  knew  the  cadi's  character — a  saint 
on  the  outside,  but  a  sinner  jn  his  heart.  Away  went  I,  therefore, 
to  wait  on  this  judge,  but  not  with  empty  pockets.  He  sent  for  me 
into  his  private  room,  and  began  upon  me  in  all  the  vehemence  of 
pious  indignation :  '  You  are  a  fellow  rejected  out  of  paradise  1  a 
blasphemer  of  our  holy  law  !  a  man  loathsome  and  abominable  to 
look  upon !  You  have  performed  the  funeral  service  of  a  Mussul- 
man over  a  dog.  What  an  act  of  sacrilege  1  Is  it  thus,  then,  that 
you  reverence  our  most  holy  ceremonies  ?  Have  you  only  turned 
Mohammedan  to  laugh  at  our  devotions  and  our  rites  ?'  *  My  honored 
master,'  answered  I,  'the  Arabian  who  has  told  you  such  a  cock  and 
bull  story  is  a  wolf  in  sheep's  clothing ;  and,  more  than  that,  he  is 
even  an  accomplice  in  my  crime,  if  it  is  one  to  grant  such  rest  as  to 
peace-parted  souls  to  a  faithful  household  servant,  to  an  animal  with 
more  good  qualities  than  half  the  two-legged  Mohammedans  out  of 


294  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

Christendom.  His  attachment,  besides,  to  people  of  merit  and  con- 
sideration in  the  world  was  at  once  moral  and  sensible ;  and  at  his 
death  he  left  several  little  tokens  of  remembrance  to  his  friends.  By 
his  last  will  and  testament,  he  bequeathed  his  eflfects  in  the  manner 
therein  mentioned,  and  did  me  the  honor  to  name  me  for  his  ex- 
ecutor. This  old  crony  came  in  for  twenty  crowns,  that  for  thirty, 
and  another  for  a  cool  hundred;  but  your  worship  is  interested 
deeply  in  this  instrument,'  pursued  I,  drawing  out  my  purse ;  '  he 
has  left  you  residuary  legatee,  and  here  is  the  amount  of  the  be- 
quest.' The  cadi's  gravity  could  not  but  relax,  after  the  posthumous 
kindness  of  his  deceased  friend  ;  and  he  laughed  outright  in  the  face 
of  the  mock  executor.  As  we  were  alone,  there  was  no  occasion  to 
make  wry  mouths  at  the  purse,  and  my  acquittal  was  pronounced  in 
these  words :  *  Go,  Master  Sidy  Hali ,  it  was  a  very  pious  act  of 
yours,  to  enlarge  the  obsequies  of  a  dog,  who  had  so  manly  a  fellow- 
feeling  for  honest  folks.' 

"  By  this  device  I  got  out  of  tjie  scrape ;  and  if  the  hint  did  not 
increase  my  religion,  it  doubled  my  circumspection.  I  was  deter- 
mined no  longer  to  open  either  my  cellar  or  my  soul  in  presence  of 
Arabian  or  Jew.  My  bottle  companion  henceforth  was  a  young 
gentleman  from  Leghorn,  who  had  the  happiness  of  being  my  slave. 
His  name  was  Azarini.  I  was  of  another  kidney  from  renegadoeain 
general,  who  impose  greater  hardships  on  their  Christian  slaves  than 
do  the  Turks  themselves.  All  ipy  captives  waited  for  the  period  of 
their  ransom,  without  any  impatient  hankering  after  home.  My 
behavior  to  them  was,  in  truth,  so  gentle  and  fatherly,  that  many  of 
them  assured  me  they  were  more  afraid  of  changing  their  master 
than  anxious  after  their  liberty ;  whatever  magic  that  word  may 
have  to  the  ears  of  those  who  have  felt  what  it  is  to  be  deprived 
of  it. 

"  One  day  the  bashaw's  corsairs  came  into  port  with  considerable 
prizes.  Their  cargo  amounted  to  more  than  a  hundred  slaves  of 
either  sex,  carried  off  from  the  Spanish  coast.  Soliman  retained 
but  a  very  small  number,  and  all  the  rest  were  sold.  I  happened  to 
go  to  market,  and  bought  a  Spanish  girl  ten  or  twelve  years  old. 
She  cried  as  if  her  heart  would  break,  and  looked  the  picture  of  de- 
spair. It  seemed  strange  that  at  her  age  slavery  should  make  such 
an  impression  on  her.  I  told  her,  in  Castilian,  to  combat  with  her 
terrors ;  and  assured  her  that  she  was  fallen  into  the  hands  of  a 
master  who  had  not  put  off  humanity  when  he  took  up  the  turban. 
The  little  mourner,  not  initiated  in  the  trade  of  grief,  pursued  the 
subject  of  her  lamentations  without  listening  to  me.  Her  whole 
soul  seemed  to  be  breathed  in  her  sighs ;  she  descanted  on  her 
wretched  fate,  and  exclaimed  from  time  to  time,  in  softened  accents, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  '  295 

'  O  my  mother,  why  were  we  ever  parted  ?  I  could  bear  my  lot  with 
patience,  might  we  share  it  together.'  With  these  lamentations  on 
her  lips,  she  turned  round  towards  a  woman  of  from  five-and-forty 
to  fifty,  standing  at  the  distance  of  several  paces,  and  waiting,  with 
her  eyes  fixed  to  the  ground,  in  a  determined,  sullen  silence,  till  she 
met  with  a  purchaser.  I  asked  my  young  bargain  if  the  lady  she 
was  looking  at  was  her  mother.  '  Alas  !  she  is,  indeed,  sir,'  replied 
the  girl ;  '  for  the  love  of  God,  do  not  let  me  be  parted  from  her.' 
'Well,  then,  my  distressed  little  damsel,'  said  I,  'if  it  will  give  you 
any  pleasure,  there  is  no  more  to  do  than  to  settle  you  both  in  the 
same  quarters,  and  then  you  will  give  over  your  mourning.'  On  the 
very  moment  I  went  up  to  the  mother,  with  the  intention  of  cheap- 
ening her ;  but  no  sooner  did  I  cast  my  eyes  on  her  face,  than  I 
knew  again,  with  what  emotion  you  may  guess !  the  very  form  and 
pressure  of  Lucinda.  '  Just  heaven  !'  said  I  within  myself,  '  this  is 
my  mother !  Nature  whispers  it  in  my  ear,  and  can  I  doubt  her 
evidence?'  On  her  part,  whether  a  keen  resentment  of  her  woes 
pointed  out  an  enemy  in  every  object  on  which  she  glanced,  or  else 
it  might  be  my  dress  that  disfigured  me ;  ...  or  else  I  might  have 
grown  3  little  older  in  about  a  dozen  years  since  she  had  seen  me ; 
.  .  ,  but,  however  historians  may  account  for  it,  she  did  not  know 
me.  But  I  knew  her,  and  bought  her :  the  pair  were  sent  home  to 
my.  house. 

"  When  they  were  safely  lodged,  I  wished  to  surprise  them  with 
the  pleasure  of  ascertaining  who  I  was.  '  Madam,'  said  I  to 
Lucinda,  '  is  it  possible  that  my  features  should  not  strike  you  ?  'Tis 
true,  I  wear  whiskers  and  a  turban :  but  is  Kaphael  less  your  son 
for  that?'  My  mother  thrilled  through  all  her  frame  at  these  words, 
looked  at  me  with  an  eager  gaze,  my  whole  self  rushed  into  her  re- 
collection, and  into  each  other's  arms  we  affectionately  flew.  I  then 
caressed,  in  moderated  ecstasies,  her  daughter,  who  perhaps  knew  as 
much  about  having  a  brother  as  I  did  about  having  a  sister.  '  Tell 
the  truth,'  said  I  to  my  mother ;  '  in  all  your  theatrical  discoveries, 
did  you  ever  meet  with  one  so  truly  natural  and  dramatic  as  this?' 
*My  dear  son,'  answered  she,  in  an  accent  of  sorrow,  'the  first  sight 
of  YOU  after  so  long  a  separation  overwhelmed  me  with  joy  ;  but  the 
revulsion  was  only  the  more  deeply  distressing.  In  what  condition, 
alas  I  do  I  again  behold  you  ?  My  own  slavery  is  a  thousand  times 
less  revolting  to  my  feelings  than  the  disgraceful  habiliments.'  .  .  . 
'  Heyday  !  By  all  the  powers,  madam,'  interrupted  I  with  a  hearty 
laugh,  '  I  am  quite  delighted  with  your  newly-acquired  morality : 
this  is  excellent  in  an  actress.  Well !  well !  as  Heaven  is  my  judge, 
my  honored  mamma,  you  are  mightily  improved  in  your  principles, 
if  my  transformation  astounds  your  religious  eyesight.    So  far  from 


296  'AD  VENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

quarrelling  with  my  turban,  consider  me  rather  as  an  actor,  play- 
ing a  Turkish  character  on  the  stage  of  the  world.  Though  a  con- 
-formist,  I  am  just  as  much  a  Mussulman  as  when  I  was  in  Spain  ; 
nay,  in  the  bottom  of  my  heart,  I  never  was  a  more  firm  believer  in 
our  Christian  creed  than  at  the  present  moment.  When  you  shall 
become  acquainted  with  all  my  hair-breadth  escapes,  since  I  have 
been  domesticated  in  this  country,  you  will  not  be  rigorous  in  your 
censure.  Love  has  been  the  cause  of  my  apostasy,  and  he  who  wor- 
ships at  that  shrine  may  be  absolved  from  all  other  infidelities.  I 
have  a  little  of  my  mother  in  me,  take  my  word  for  it.  Another 
reason,  besides,  ought  to  moderate  your  disgust  at  seeing  me  under 
my  present  circumstances.  You  were  expecting  to  experience  a 
harsh  captivity  in  Algiers,  but  you  find  in  your  protector  a  son,  with 
all  the  tenderness  and  reverence  befitting  his  relation  to  you,  and 
rich  enough  to  maintain  you  here  in  plenty  and  comfort,  till  a  favor- 
able opportunity  offers  of  returning  with  safety  into  Spain.  Admit, 
therefore,  the  force  of  the  proverb,  which  says  that  evil  itself  is  good 
for  something.' 

'• '  My  dear  son,'  said  Lucinda,  '  since  you  fully  intend  one  day  to 
go  back  into  your  own  country,  and  to  throw  off  the  mantle  of 
Mohammed,  my  scruples  are  all  satisfied.  Thanks  to  Heaven,'  con- 
tinued she,  'I  shall  be  able  to  carry  back  yoiir  sister  Beatrice  safe  and 
sound  into  Castile.'  '  Yes,  madam,'  exclaimed  I,  '  so  you  may.  We 
will  all  three,  as  soon  as  the  season  may  serve,  go  and  throw  our- 
selves into  the  bosom  of  our  family :  for  I  make  no  matter  of  doubt 
but  you  have  still  in  Spain  other  indisputable  evidences  of  your  pro- 
lific powers.'  *  No,'  said  my  mother,  '  I  have  only  you  two,  the  off- 
spring of  my  body  ;  and  you  are  to  know  that  Beatrice  is  the  fruit 
of  a  marriage  manufactured  in  as  workmanlike  a  manner  as  any 
within  the  pale  of  the  church.'  '  And  pray,  for  what  reason,'  replied 
I,  '  might  not  my  little  sister  have  been  just  as  contraband  as  my- 
self? How  did  you  ever  work  yourself  up  to  the  formidable  resolu- 
tion of  marrying  ?  I  have  heard  you  say  a  hundred  times,  in  my 
childhood,  that  there  was  no  benefit  of  clergy  for  a  pretty  woman 
who  could  commit  such  an  offence  as  to  take  up  with  a  husband.' 
'  Times  and  seasons  ebb  and  flow,  my  son,'  rejoined  she.  '  Men  of 
the  most  resolute  character  may  be  shaken  in  their  purposes :  and 
do  you  require  that  a  woman  should  be  inflexible  in  hers  ?  But  I 
will  now  relate  to  you  the  story  of  my  life  since  your  departure  from 
Madrid.'  She  then  began  the  following  recital,  which  will  never  be 
obliterated  from  my  memory.  I  will  not  withhold  from  you  so 
curious  a  narrative. 

" '  It  is  nearly  thirteen  years,  if  you  recollect,'  said  my  mother, 
'since  you   left   young  Leganez.     Just  at    that  time,   the  Duke 


AD  VENTUHES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  297 

of  Medina  Cell  told  me  that  he  had  a  mind  to  sup  with  me  one  even- 
ing in  private.  The  day  was  fixed.  I  made  preparations  for  his  re- 
ception :  he  came,  and  I  pleased  him.  He  required  from  me  the 
sacrifice  of  all  his  rivals,  past,  present,  and  to  come.  I  came  into 
his  terms,  in  the  hope  of  being  well  paid  for  my  complaisance. 
There  was  no  deficiency  on  that  score.  On  the  very  next  morning, 
I  received  presents  from  him,  which  were  followed  up  by  a  long 
train  of  kindred  attentions.  I  Avas  afraid  of  not  being  able  to  hold 
in  my  chains  a  man  of  his  exalted  rank :  and  this  apprehension  was 
the  better  founded,  because  it  was  a  matter  of  notoriety  that  he  had 
escaped  from  the  clutches  of  several  celebrated  beauties,  whose 
chains  he  had  worn  only  for  the  purpose  of  breaking.  But  for  all 
that,  so  far  from  surfeiting  on  the  relish  of  my  kindness,  his  appe- 
tite grew  by  what  it  fed  on.  In  short,  I  found  out  the  secret  of  en- 
tertaining him,  and  impounding  his  heart,  naturally  roving,  so  that 
it  should  not  go  astray  according  to  its  usual  volatility. 

"  *  He  had  now  been  my  admirer  for  three  months,  and  I  had 
every  reason  to  flatter  myself  that  the  arrangement  would  be  lasting, 
when  a  lady  of  my  acquaintance  and  myself  happened  to  go  to  an 
assembly,  where  the  duchess,  his  wife,  was  of  the  party.  We  were 
invited  to  a  concert  of  vocal  and  instrumental  music.  We  accident- 
ally seated  ourselves  too  near  the  duchess,  who  took  it  into  her  head 
to  be  affronted  that  I  should  exhibit  my  person  in  a  place  where  she 
was.  She  sent  me  word,  by  one  of  her  women,  that  she  should  take 
it  as  a  favor  if  I  would  quit  the  room  immediately.  I  sent  back  an 
answer  just  as  saucy  as  the  message.  The  duchess,  irritated  to  fury, 
laid  her  jvrongs  before  her  husband,  who  came  to  me  in  person,  and 
said,  "  Retire,  Lucinda.  Though  noblemen  of  the  first  rank  attach 
themselves  to  pretty  playthings  like  yourself,  it  is  highly  unbecom- 
ing in  you  to  forget  your  proper  distance.  If  we  love  you  better 
than  our  wives,  we  honor  our  wives  more  than  you :  whenever, 
therefore,  your  insolence  shall  go  so  far  as  to  set  yourselves  up  for 
their  rivals  under  their  very  noses,  you  will  always  be  mortified,  and 
made  to  know  your  places'."  \ 

"  '  Fortunately  the  duke  held  his  cruel  language  to  me  in  so  low  a 
tone  of  voice  as  not  to  have  been  overheard  by  the  people  about  us. 
I  withdrew  in  deep  confusion,  and  cried  with  vexation  at  having 
incurred  such  an  affront.  At  once  to  crown  my  shame  and  aggra- 
vate my  chastisement,  the  actors  and  actresses  got  hold  of  the  story 
on  the  very  same  evening.  To  do  them  justice,  these  gentry  must 
contrive  to  entertain  a  familiar  spirit,  whose  business  is  to  fly  about 
and  whisper  in  the  ear  of  one  whatever  falls  out  amiss  to  the  other. 
Suppose,  for  instance,  that  an  actor  gets  drunk  and  makes  a  fool  of 
himself,  or  an  actress  gets  hold  of  a  rich  cully  and  makes  a  fool  of 


298  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

him !  The  green-room  is  sure  to  ring  with  all  the  particulars,  and 
a  few  more  than  are  true.  All  my  kindred  of  the  sock  and  buskin 
were  informed  at  once  of  what  had  happened  at  the  concert,  and  a 
blessed  life  they  led  me  with  their  quips  and  quiddities.  Never  was 
there  charity  like  theirs.  Without  beginning  at  home,  heaven  only 
knows  where  it  ends  1  But  I  held  myself  too  high  to  be  affected  by 
their  jibes  and  jeers :  nor  did  even  the  loss  of  the  Duke  de  Medina 
Celi  hang  heavy  on  my  spirits ;  for  true  it  was,  I  never  saw  him 
more  at  my  toilet,  but  learned,  a  very  short  time  after,  that  he  had 
got  into  the  trammels  of  a  little  warbler. 

"  *  When  a  theatrical  lady  has  the  good  luck  to  be  in  fashion,  she 
may  change  her  lover  as  often  as  her  petticoat ;  and  one  noble  fool, 
should  he  even  recover  his  wits  at  the  end  of  three  days,  serves  ex- 
cellently well  for  a  decoy  to  his  successor.  No  sooner  was  it 
buzzed  about  Madrid  that  the  duke  had  raised  the  siege,  than  a 
new  host  of  would-be  conquerors  appeared  before  the  trenches. 
The  very  rivals  whom  I  had  sacrificed  to  his  wishes,  looking  at  my 
charms  through  the  magnifying  medium  of  delay  and  disappoint- 
ment, came  back  again  in  crowds  to  encounter  new  caprices ;  to  say 
nothing  of  a  thousand  fresh  hearts,  ready  to  bargain  on  the  mere 
report  of  my  being  to  let.  I  had  never  been  so  exclusively  the 
mode.  Of  all  the  men  who  put  in  for  being  cajoled  by  me,  a  portly 
German,  belonging  to  the  Duke  of  Ossuna's  household,  seemed  to 
bid  highest.  Not  that  his  personal  attractions  were  by  any  means 
the  most  catching ;  but  then  there  were  a  thousand  amiable  pistoles 
on  the  list  of  candidates,  scraped  together  by  perquisites  in  his 
master's  service,  and  turned  adrift  with  the  prodigality  of  a  prince, 
in  the  hope  of  becoming  my  favored  lover.  This  fat  pigeon  to  be 
plucked  was  by  name  Brutandorf.  As  long  as  his  pockets  were 
lined,  his  reception  was  warm :  empty  purses  meet  with  fastened 
doors.  The  principles  on  which  my  friendship  rested  were  not 
altogether  to  his  taste.  He  came  to  the  play  to  look  after  me 
during  the  performance.  I  was  behind  the  scenes.  It  was  his 
humor  to  load  me  with  reproaches ;  it  was  mine  to  laugh  in  his 
face.  This  provoked  his  boorish  wrath,  and  he  gave  me  a  box  on 
the  ear,  like  a  clumsy-fisted  German  as  he  was.  I  set  up  a  loud 
scream ;  the  business  of  the  stage  was  suspended.  I  came  forward 
to  the  front,  and,  addressing  the  Duke  of  Ossuna,  who  was  at  the 
play  on  that  occasion  with  his  lady  duchess,  begged  his  protection 
from  the  German  gallantry  of  his  establishment.  The  duke  gave 
orders  for  our  proceeding  with  the  piece,  and  intimated  that  he 
would  hear  the  parties  after  the  curtain  had  dropped.  At  the  con- 
clusion of  the  play  I  presented  myself  in  all  the  dreary  pomp  of 
tragedy  before  the  duke,  and  laid  open  my  griefs  in  all  the  majesty 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  299 

of  woe.  As  for  my  German  pugilist,  his  defence  was  on  a  level 
with  his  provocation :  so  far  from  being  sorry  for  what  he  had  done, 
his  fingers  itched  to  give  me  another  dressing.  The  cause  being 
heard  pro  and  con,  tlie  Duke  of  Ossuna  said  to  his  Scandinavian 
savage,  "  Brutandorf,  I  dismiss  you  from  my  service,  and  beg  never 
to  see  anything  more  of  you,  not  because  you  have  given  a  box  on 
the  ear  to  an  actress,  but  for  your  failure  in  respect  to  your  master 
and  mistress,  in  having  presumed  to  interrupt  the  progress  of  the 
play  in  their  presence." 

"  '  This  decision  was  a  bitter  pill  for  me  to  swallow.  It  was  high 
treason  against  my  histrionic  majesty,  that  the  German  was  not 
turned  off  on  the  ground  of  having  insulted  me.  It  seemed  difficult 
to  conceive  the  possibility  of  a  greater  crime  than  that  of  insulting 
a  principal  actress :  and  where  crimes  are  parallel,  punishments 
should  tally.  The  retribution  in  this  case  would  have  been  ex- 
emplary ;  and  I  expected  no  les§.  This  unpleasant  occurrence  un- 
deceived me,  and  proved,  to  my  mortification,  that  the  public 
distinguished  between  the  actors  and  the  personages  they  may 
chance  to  enact.  On  this  conviction,  my  pride  revolted  at  the 
theatre :  I  resolved  to  give  up  my  engagements,  to  go  and  live  at  a 
distance  from  Madrid.  I  fixed  on  the  city  of  Valencia  for  the 
place  of  my  retreat,  and  went  thither  under  a  feigned  character, 
with  a  property  of  twenty  thousand  ducats  in  money  and  jewels — a 
sum  in  my  mind  more  than  sufiicient  to  maintain  me  for  the  re- 
mainder of  my  days,  since  it  was  my  purpose  to  lead  a  retired  life. 
I  rented  a  small  house  at  Valencia,  and  limited  my  establishment 
to  a  female  servant  and  a  page,  who  were  as  Ignorant  of  my  birth, 
parentage  and  education  as  the  rest  of  the  town.  I  gave  myself  out 
for  the  widow  of  an  officer  belonging  to  the  king's  household,  and 
intimated  that  I  had  made  choice  of  Valencia  for  my  residence,  on 
the  report  that  it  was  one  of  the  most  agreeable  neighborhoods  in 
Spain.  I  saw  very  little  company,  and  maintained  so  reserved  a 
deportment  that  there  never  was  the  slightest  suspicion  of  my 
having  been  an  actress.  Yet,  notwithstanding  all  the  pains  I  took 
to  hide  myself  from  the  garish  eye  of  day,  I  had  worse  success 
against  the  piercing  ken  of  a  gentleman  who  had  a  country  seat 
near  Paterna.  He  was  of  an  ancient  family,  in  person  genteel  and 
manly,  from  five-and-thirty  to  forty  years  of  age,  nobly  connected, 
but  scandalously  in  debt — a  contradiction  in  the  vocabulary  of 
honor,  neither  more  unaccountable  nor  uncommon  in  the  kingdom 
of  Valencia,  than  what  takes  place  every  day  in  other  parts  of  the 
civilized  world, 

"  *  This  gentleman  of  a  generation  or  two  before  the  present,  find- 
ing my  person  to  his  liking,  was  desirous  of  knowing  if  in  other 


300  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

respects  I  was  a  commodity  for  his  market.  He  set  every  engine  at 
work  to  inquire  into  the  most  minute  particulars,  and  had  the  pleas- 
ure to  learn  from  general  report,  that  I  was  a  warm  widow  with  a 
comfortable  jointure,  and  a  person  little,  if  anything,  the  worse  for 
wear.  It  struck  him  that  this  was  just  the  match ;  so  that  in  a  very 
short  time  an  old  lady  came  to  my  house,  telling  me  from  him  that, 
with  equal  admiration  of  my  virtue  and  my  charms,  he  laid  himself 
and  his  fortune  at  my  feet,  and  was  ready  to  lead  me  to  the  altar,  if 
I  could  condescend  so  far  as  to  become  his  wife.  I  required  three 
days  to  make  up  my  mind  on  the  subject.  In  this  interval,  I  made 
inquiries  about  the  gentleman  ;  and  hearing  a  good  character  of  him, 
notwithstanding  the  deranged  state  of  his  finances,  it  was  my  deter- 
mination to  marry  him  without  more  ado,  so  that  the  preliminaries 
were  soon  ratified  by  a  definitive  treaty. 

" '  Don  Manuel  de  Xerica — for  that  was  my  husband's  name — 
took  me  immediately  after  the  ceremony  to  his  castle,  which  had  an 
air  of  antiquity  highly  flattering  to  his  family  pride.  He  told  a 
story  about  one  of  his  ancestors  who  built  it  in  days  of  yore,  and 
because  it  was  not  founded  the  day  before  yesterday,  jumped  to  a 
conclusion  that  there  was  not  a  more  ancient  house  in  Spain  than 
that  of  Xerica.  But  nobility,  like  perishable  merchandise,  will  run 
to  decay ;  the  castle,  shored  up  on  this  side  and  on  that,  was  in  the 
very  agony  of  tumbling  to  pieces :  what  a  buttress  for  Don  Manuel 
and  for  his  old  walls  was  his  marriage  with  me !  More  than  half 
my  savings  were  laid  out  on  repairs ;  and  the  residue  was  wanted  to 
set  us  going  in  a  genteel  style  among  our  country  neighbors.  Behold 
me  then,  you  who  can  believe  it,  landed  on  a  new  planet,  trans- 
formed into  the  presiding  genius  of  a  castle,  the  Lady  Bountiful  of 
my  parish :  our  stage  machinery  could  never  have  furnished  such  a 
change  I  I  was  too  good  an  actress  not  to  have  supported  my  new 
rank  and  dignity  with  appropriate  grace.  I  assumed  high  airs,  the- 
atrical grandeurs,  a  most  dignified  strut  and  demeanor ;  all  ;which 
made  the  bumpkins  conceive  a  wonderful  idea  of  my  exalted  origin. 
How  would  they  not  have  tickled  their  fancies  at  my  expense,  had 
they  known  the  real  truth  of  the  case !  The  gentry  of  the  neigh- 
borhood would  have  scofi'ed  at  me  most  unmercifully,  and  the 
country  people  would  have  been  much  more  chary  of  the  respect 
they  showed  me. 

"  *  It  was  now  near  six  years  that  I  had  lived  very  happily  with 
Don  Manuel,  when  he  ended  ways,  means,  and  life  together.  My 
legacy  consisted  of  a  broken  fortune  to  splice,  and  your  sister  Bea- 
trice, then  more  than  four  years  old,  to  maintain.  The  castle,  which 
was  our  only  tangible  resource,  was  unfortunately  mortgaged  to 
Beveral  creditors,  the  principal  of  whom  was  one  Bernard  Astuto. 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  301 

Cunning  by  name,  and  cunning  by  nature!  He  practiced  as  an 
attorney  at  Valencia,  and  bore  his  faculties  in  all  the  infamy  of 
pettifogging ;  law  and  equity  conspired  in  his  person  to  push  the 
trade  of  cozening  and  swindling  to  the  utmost  extremity.  To  think 
of  falling  into  the  clutches  of  such  a  creditor !  A  gentleman's  pro- 
perty, under  the  gripe  of  such  a  claw  as  this  attorney's,  affords  much 
the' same  sport  as  a  lamb  to  a  wolf,  or  a  dove  to  a  kite.  Nearly  after 
the  fashion  of  these  beasts  and  birds  of  prey  did  Signer  Astuto, 
when  informed  of  my  husband's  death,  hover  over  his  victim,  con- 
cealing his  fell  purpose  under  the  ambush  of  the  law.  The  whole 
estate  would  have  been  swallowed  up  in  pleadings,  aflBdavits,  de- 
murrers, and  rejoinders,  but  for  the  light  thrown  upon  the  proceed- 
ings by  my  lucky  star ;  under  whose  influence  the  plaintiff  was 
turned  at  once  into  defendant,  and  was  left  without  a  reply  to  the 
arguments  of  these  all-powerful  eyes.  I  got  to  the  blind  side  of 
him  in  an  interview,  which  I  contrived  during  the  progress  of  our 
litigation.  Nothing  was  wanting  on  my  part — I  own  it  frankly — 
to  fill  him  brimful  of  the  tender  passion ;  an  ardent  longing  to  save 
my  goods,  chattels,  and  domain,  made  me  practice  upon  him,  to  my 
own  disgust,  that  system  of  coquettish  tactics  and  flirtation  which 
had  drawn  so  many  former  fools  into  an  ambuscade.  Yet,  with  all 
the  resources  of  a  veteran,  I  was  very  near  letting  the  attorney 
escape.  He  was  so  barricaded  by  mouldy  parchments,  so  immured 
in  actions  and  informations,  as  scarcely  to  seem  susceptible  of  any 
love  but  the  love  of  law.  The  truth,  however,  was,  that  this  moping 
pettifogger,  this  porer  over  ponderous  abridgments,  this  scrawler  of 
acts  and  deeds,  had  more  young  blood  in  him  than  I  was  aware  of, 
and  a  trick  of  looking  at  me  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye.  He  pro- 
fessed to  be  a  novice  in  the  art  of  courtship.  "  My  whole  heart  and 
soul,  madam,"  said  he,  "  have  been  wedded  to  my  profession  ;  and 
the  consequence  has  been,  that  the  iises  and  customs  of  gallantry 
have  seemed  weary,  stale,  flat,  and  unprofitable  to  me.  But  though 
not  a  man  of  outward  show,  I  am  well  furnished  with  the  stock  in 
trade  of  love.  To  come  to  the  point  at  once,  if  you  can  resolve  in 
your  mind  to  marry  me,  we  will  make  a  grand  bonfire  of  the  whole 
lawsuit ;  and  I  will  give  the  go-by  to  those  rascally  creditors  who 
have  joined  issue  with  me  in  our  attack  upon  your  estate.  You  shall 
have  the  life  interest,  and  your  daughter  the  reversion."  So  good 
a  bargain  for  Beatrice  and  myself  would  not  allow  of  any  waver- 
ing: I  closed  without  delay  on  the  conditions.  The  attorney 
kept  his  word  most  miraculously:  he  turned  short  round  upon 
the  other  creditors,  defeated  them  with  the  very  weapons  himself 
had  furnished  for  their  joint  campaign,  and  secured  me  in  the 
possession  of  my  house  and  lands.    It  was  probably  the  first  time 


302  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

in  his  life  that  he  had  taken  up  the  cause  of  the  widow  and  the 
orphan. 

" '  Thus  did  I  become  the  honored  wife  of  an  attorney,  without 
losing  my  rank  as  tlie  lady  of  the  manor.  But  this  incongruous 
marriage  ruined  me  in  the  esteem  of  the  gentry  about  Valencia. 
The  women  of  quality  looked  upon  me  as  a  person  who  had  lowered 
herself,  and  refused  any  longer  to  visit  me.  This  inevitably  threw 
me  on  the  acquaintance  of  the  tradespeople ;  a  circumstance  which 
could  not  do  otherwise  than  hurt  my  feelings  a  little  at  iirst,  because 
I  had  been  accustomed,  for  the  last  six  years,  to  associate  only  with 
ladies  of  the  higher  classes.  But  it  was  in  vain  to  fret  about  it; 
and  I  soon  found  my  level.  I  got  most  intimately  acquainted  with 
the  wives  of  my  husband's  brethren  of  the  quill  and  brief.  Their 
characters  were  not  a  little  entertaining.  There  was  an  absurdity 
in  their  manners  which  tickled  me  to  the  very  soul.  These  trum- 
pery fine  ladies  held  themselves  up  for  something  far  above  the 
common  run.  "  Well-a-day !"  said  I  to  myself,  every  now  and  then, 
when  they  forgot  the  blue  bag :  "  this  is  the  way  of  the  world  I 
Every  one  fancies  himself  to  be  something  vastly  superior  to  his 
neighbor.  I  thought  we  actresses  only  did  not  know  our  places ; 
women  at  the  lower  end  of  private  life,  as  far  as  I  see,  are  just  as 
absurd  in  their  pretensions.  I  should  like,  by  way  of  check  upon 
their  presumption,  to  propose  a  law,  that  family  pictures  and  pedi- 
grees should  be  liuug  up  iu  every  house.  Were  the  situation  left 
to  the  choice  of  the  owner,  the  deuce  is  in  it  if  these  legal  gentiy 
would  not  cram  their  scrivening  ancestors  either  into  the  cellar  or 
the  garret." 

" '  After  four  years  passed  in  the  holy  state  of  wedlock,  Signor 
Bernardo  d'Astuto  fell  sick,  and  went  the  way  of  all  flesh.  We  had 
no  family.  Between  my  settlement  and  what  I  was  worth  before,  I 
found  myself  a  well-endowed  widow.  I  had  too  the  reputation  of 
being  so ;  and  on  this  report,  a  Sicilian  gentleman,  by  name  Colifi- 
chini,  determined  to  stick  in  my  skirts,  and  either  ruin  or  marry 
me.  The  alternative  was  kindly  left  to  my  own  choice.  He  was 
come  from  Palermo  to  see  Spain,  and,  after  having  satisfied  his 
curiosity,  was  waiting,  as  he  said,  at  Valencia  for  an  opportunity  of 
taking  his  passage  back  to  Sicily.  The  spark  was  not  quite  five- 
and-twenty ;  of  an  elegant  though  diminutive  person ;  ...  in 
short,  his  figure  absolutely  haunted  me.  He  found  the  means  of 
getting  to  the  speech  of  me  in  private ;  and,  I  will  own  it  to  you 
frankly,  I  fell  distractedly  in  love  with  him  from  the  moment  of 
our  very  first  interview.  On  his  part,  the  little  knave  flounced  over 
head  and  ears  in  admiration  of  my  charms.  I  do  really  think — God 
forgive  me  for  it— that  we  should  have  been  married  out  of  hand, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  303 

if  the  death  of  the  attorney,  whose  funeral  baked  meats  were  scarcely 
cold  enough  to  have  furnished  forth  the  marriage  tables,  would  have 
allowed  me  to  contract  a  new  engagement  at  so  short  a  warning. 
But,  since  I  had  got  into  the  matrimonial  line,  it  was  necessary  that 
where  the  church  makes  the  feast,  the  devil  should  not  send  cooks; 
I  therefore  took  care  always  to  season  my  nuptials  to  the  palate  of 
the  world  at  large. 

" '  Thus  did  we  agree  to  delay  our  coming  together  for  a  time,  out 
of  a  tender  regard  to  appearances.  Colifichini,  in  the  meantime, 
devoted  all  his  attentions  to  me :  his  passion,  far  from  languishing, 
seemed  to  become  more  a  part  of  himself  from  day  to  day.  The 
poor  lad  was  not  too  flush  of  ready  money.  This  struck  my  obser- 
vation ;  and  he  was  no  longer  at  a  loss  for  his  little  pocket  expenses. 
Besides  being  very  nearly  twice  his  age,  I  recollected  having  laid 
the  men  under  contribution  in  my  younger  days ;  so  that  I  looked 
upon  what  I  was  then  lavishing  as  a  sort  of  restitution,  which  bal- 
anced my  debtor  and  creditor  account,  and  made  me  quits  with  my 
conscience.  "We  waited,  as  patiently  as  our  frailty  would  allow,  for 
the  period  when  widows  may  in  decency  so  far  surmount  their  grief 
as  to  try  their  luck  again.  When  the  happy  morning  rose,  we  pre- 
sented ourselves  before  the  altar,  where  we  plighted  our  faith 
to  each  other  by  oaths  the  most  solemn  and  binding.  We  then 
retired  to  my  castle,  where  I  may  truly  say  that  we  lived  for  two 
years,  less  as  husband  and  wife  than  as  tender  and  unfettered 
lovers.  But  alas!  such  a  union,  so  happy  and  sentimental,  was 
not  long  to  be  the  lot  of  humanity :  a  pleurisy  carried  off  my  dear 
Colifichini.' 

"At  this  passage  in  her  history,  I  interrupted  my  mother.  *  Hey- 
day !  madam,  your  third  husband  despatched  already  ?  You  must 
be  a  most  deadly  taking.'  '  What  do  you  mean  ?'  answered  she :  *  is 
it  for  me  to  dispute  the  will  of  Heaven,  and  lengthen  the  days  par- 
celled out  to  every  son  of  earth  ?  If  I  have  lost  three  husbands,  it 
was  none  of  my  fault.  Two  of  them  cost  me  many  a  salt  tear.  If 
I  buried  any  with  dry  eyes,  it  was  the  attorney.  As  that  was  merely 
a  match  of  interest,  I  was  easily  reconciled  to  the  loss  of  him.  But 
to  return  to  Colifichini :  I  was  going  to  tell  you,  that  some  month* 
after  his  death,  I  had  a  mind  to  go  and  take  possession  of  a  country 
house  near  Palermo,  which  he  had  settled  on  me  as  a  jointure,  by 
our  marriage  contract.  I  took  my  passage  for  Sicily  with  my 
daughter ;  but  we  were  taken  on  the  voyage  by  Alg«rine  corsairs. 
This  city  was  our  destination.  Happily  for  us,  you  happened  to  be 
at  the  market  where  we  were  put  up  for  sale.  Had  it  been  other- 
wise, we  must  have  fallen  into  the  hands  of  some  barbarian  pur- 
chaser, who  would  have  used  us  ill ;  and  we  probably  might  have 


804  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

passed  our  whole  life  in  slavery,  nor  would  you  ever  have  heard 
of  us.' 

"  Such  was  my  mother's  story.  To  return  to  my  own,  gentlemen, 
I  gave  her  the  best  apartment  in  my  house,  with  the  liberty  of  living 
after  her  own  fashion ;  which  was  a  circumstance  very  agreeable  to 
her  taste.  She  had  a  confirmed  habit  of  loving,  brought  to  such  a 
system  by  so  many  repeated  experiments,  that  it  was  impossible  for 
her  to  do  without  either  a  gallant  or  a  husband.  At  first  she  looked 
with  favor  upon  some  of  my  slaves ;  but  Hali  Pegelin,  a  Greek  rene- 
gado,  who  sometimes  came  and  called  upon  us,  soon  drew  all  her 
glances  on  himself.  She  conceived  a  stronger  passion  for  him  than 
she  had  ever  done  for  Colifichini ;  and  such  was  her  aptitude  for 
pleasing  the  men,  that  she  found  the  way  to  wind  herself  about  the 
heart  of  this  man  also.  I  seemed  as  if  unconscious  of  their  good 
understanding;  being  then  intent  only  on  my  return  into  Spain. 
The  bashaw  had  already  given  me  leave  to  fit  out  a  vessel,  for  the 
purpose  of  sweeping  the  sea  and  committing  acts  of  piracy.  This 
armament  was  my  sole  object.  Just  a  week  before  it  was  completed, 
I  said  to  Lucinda,  '  Madam,  we  shall  take  our  leave  of  Algiers  almost 
immediately ;  so  that  you  will  bid  a  long  farewell  to  an  abode  which 
you  cannot  but  detest.' 

"  My  mother  turned  pale  at  these  words,  and  stood  silent  and 
motionless.  My  surprise  was  extreme.  '  What  do  I  see?'  said  I  to 
her:  *  whence  comes  it  that  you  present  such  an  image  of  terror  and 
despair  ?  My  design  was  to  fill  you  with  transport ;  but  the  effect  of 
my  intelligence  seems  only  to  overwhelm  you  with  aflliction.  I 
thought  to  have  been  thanked  for  my  welcome  news ;  and  hastened 
with  eagerness  to  tell  you  that  all  is  ready  for  our  departure.  Are 
you  no  longer  in  the  mind  to  go  back  into  Spain  ?'  '  No,  my  son  ; 
Spain  no  longer  has  any  charms  for  me,'  answered  my  mother.  '  It 
has  been  the  scene  of  all  my  sorrows,  and  I  have  turned  my  back 
on  it  forever.'  '  What  do  I  hear?'  exclaimed  I,  in  an  agony :  '  ah  ! 
tell  me  rather  that  it  is  a  fatal  passion  which  alienates  you  from 
your  native  country.  Just  Heaven !  what  a  change  !  When  you 
landed  here,  every  object  that  met  your  eyes  was  hateful  to  them, 
but  Hali  Pegelin  has  given  another  color  to  your  fancy.'  '  I  do  not 
deny  it,'  replied  Lucinda :  '  I  love  that  renegado,  and  mean  to  take 
him  for  my  fourth  husband.'  '  What  an  idea  !'  interrupted  I,  with 
horror  :  'you  to  marry  a  Mussulman  !  You  forget  yourself  to  be  a 
Christian,  or  rather  have  hitherto  been  one  only  in  name,  and  not  in 
heart.  Ah  !  my  dear  mother,  what  a  futurity  do  you  present  to  my 
imagination  !  You  are  running  headlong  to  your  eternal  ruin.  You 
are  going  to  do  voluntarily,  and  from  impure  motives,  what  I  have 
only  done  under  the  pressure  of  necessity.' 


ADVENTUttES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  305 

"  I  urged  many  other  arguments,  in  the  same  strain,  to  turn  her 
aside  from  her  purpose,  but  all  my  eloquence  was  wasted ;  she  had 
made  up  her  mind  to  her  future  destiny.  Not  satisfied  with  follow- 
ing the  bent  of  her  base  inclinations,  and  leaving  her  son  to  go  and 
live  with  this  renegado,  she  had  even  formed  a  design  to  settle  Bea- 
trice in  het  own  family.  This  I  opposed  with  all  my  might  and 
main.  *Ah!  wretched  Lucinda,'  said  I,  'if  nothing  is  capable  of 
keeping  you  within  the  limits  of  your  duty,  at  least  rush  on  per- 
dition alone ;  confine  within  yourself  the  fury  which  possesses  you ; 
cast  not  a  young  innocent  headlong  over  a  precipice,  though  you 
yourself  may  venture  on  the  leap.'  Lucinda  quitted  my  presence  in 
moody  silence.  It  struck  me  that  a  remnant  of  reason  still  enlight- 
ened her,  and  that  she  would  not  obstinately  persevere  in' requiring 
her  daughter  to  be  given  up  to  her.  How  little  did  I  know  of  my 
mother !  One  of  my  slaves  said  to  me  two  days  afterwards,  '  Sir, 
take  care  of  yourself.  A  captive  belonging  to  Pegelin  has  just  let 
me  into  a  secret,  of  which  you  cannot  too  soon  avail  yourself.  Your 
mother  has  changed  her  religion ;  and  as  a  punishment  upon  you  for 
having  refused  Beatrice  to  her  wishes,  it  is  her  purpose  to  acquaint 
the  bashaw  with  your  flight.'  I  could  not'for  a  moment  doubt  but 
what  Lucinda  was  the  woman  to  do  just  what  my  slave  had  said  she 
would.  The  lady  had  given  me  manifold  opportunities  of  studying 
her  character ;  and  it  was  sufficiently  evident  that,  by  dint  of  play- 
ing bloody  parts  in  tragedy,  she  had  familiarized  herself  with  the 
guilty  scenes  of  real  life.  It  would  not  in  the  least  have  gone 
against  her  nature  to  have  got  me  burned  alive;  nor,  probably, 
would  she  have  been  more  affected  by  my  exit  after  that  fashion, 
than  by  the  winding  up  of  a  dramatic  tale. 

"The  warning  of  my  slave,  therefore,  was  not  to  be  neglected. 
My  embarkation  was  hastened  on.  I  took  some  Turks  on  board, 
according  to  the  practice  of  the  Algerine  corsairs  when  going  on  a 
piratical  expedition ;  but  I  engaged  no  more  than  was  necessary  to 
blind  the  eyes  of  jealousy,  and  weighed  anchor  from  the  port  as  soon 
as  possible,  with  all  my  slaves  and  my  sister  Beatrice.  You  will  do 
right  to  suppose  that  I  did  not  forget,  in  that  moment  of  anxiety,  to 
pack  up  my  whole  stock  of  money  and  jewels,  amounting  probably 
to  the  worth  of  six  thousand  ducats.  When  we  were  fairly  out  at 
sea,  we  began  by  securing  the  Turks.  They  were  easily  mastered, 
as  my  slaves  outnumbered  them.  We  had  so  favorable  a  wind,  that 
we  made  the  coast  of  Italy  in  a  very  short  time.  Without  let  or 
hindrance,  we  got  into  the  harbor  of  Leghorn,  where  I  thought  the 
whole  city  must  have  come  out  to  see  us  land.  The  fether  of  my 
slave  Azarini,  either  accidentally  or  from  curiosity,  happened  to  be 
among  the  gazers.  He  looked  with  all  his  eyes  at  ray  captives,  as 
20 


806  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

they  came  ashore ;  but,  though  his  object  was  to  discover  his  lost  son 
among  the  number,  it  was  with  little  hope  of  so  fortunate  a  result. 
But  how  powerful  is  the  plea  of  nature !  What  transports,  expressed 
by  mutual  embraces,  followed  the  recognition  of  a  tie  so  close,  but 
so  painfully  interrupted  for  a  time ! 

"  As  soon  as  Azarini  had  acquainted  his  father  who  I  was,  and 
what  had  brought  me  to  Leghorn,  the  old  man  obliged  me,  as  well 
as  Beatrice,  to  accept  jof  an  apartment  in  his  house.  I  shall  pass 
over  in  silence  the  description  of  a  thousand  ceremonies,  necessary 
to  be  gone  through,  in  order  to  my  return  into  the  bosom  of  the 
church ;  suffice  it  to  say,  that  I  forswore  Mohammedanism  with  much 
more  sincerity  than  I  had  pledged  myself  to  it.  After  having  en- 
tirely purged  myself  from  my  Algerine  leaven,  I  sold  my  ship,  and 
set  all  my  slaves  at  liberty.  As  for  the  Turks,  they  were  committed 
to  prison  at  Leghorn,  to  be  exchanged  against  Christians.  I  received 
kind  attention  in  abundance  from  the  Azarini  family ;  indeed,  the 
young  man  married  my  sister  Beatrice,  who,  to  speak  the  truth,  was 
hd  bad  match  for  him,  being  a  gentleman's  daughter,  and  inheriting 
the  castle  of  Xerica,  which  my  mother  had  taken  care  to  let  out  to 
a  rich  farmer  of  Paterna,  when  she  resolved  upon  her  voyage  to 
Sicily. 

"  Froni  Leghorn,  after  having  stayed  there  some  time,  I  departed 
for  Florence,  a  town  I  had  a  strong  desire  to  see.  I  did  not  go 
thither  without  letters  of  recommendation,  Azarini,  the  father,  had 
connections  at  the  grand  duke's  court,  and  introduced  me  to  them 
as  a  Spanish  gentleman  related  to  his  family.  I  tacked  don  to  my 
name,  in  honest  rivalry  of  impudence  with  otlier  low  Spaniards, 
who  take  up  that  travelling  title  of  honor  without  compunction 
when  far  enough  from  home  to  set  detection  at  defiance.  Boldly, 
then,  did  I  dub  myself  Don  Eaphael,  and  appeared  at  court  with 
suitable  splendor,  on  the  strength  of  what  I  had  brought  from 
Algiers,  to  keep  my  nobility  from  starving.  The  high  personages 
to  whom  old  Azarini  had  written  in  my  favor  gave  out  in  their 
circle  that  I  was  a  person  of  quality,  so  that  with  this  testimony, 
and  a  natural  knack  I  had  of  giving  myself  airs,  the  deuce  must 
have  been  in  it  if  I  could  not  have  passed  muster  for  a  man  of  some 
consequence.  I  soon  got  to  be  hand  in  glove  with  the  principal 
nobility,  and  they  presented  me  to  the  grand  duke.  I  had  the  good 
fortune  to  make  myself  agreeable.  It  then  became  an  object  with 
me  to  pay  court  to  that  prince,  and  to  study  his  humor.  I  sucked 
in  with  greedy  ear  all  that  his  most  experienced  courtiers  said  about 
him,  and  by  their  conversation  fathomed  «il  his  peculiarities. 
Among  other  things,  he  encouraged  a  play  of  wit ;  was  fond  of  good 
stories  and  lively  repartees.    On  this  hint  I  formed  myself.    Every 


I 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  307 

morning  I  wrote  down  in  my  pocket-book  such  anecdotes  as  I  meant 
to  rack  off  in  the  course  of  ttie  day.  My  stock  was  somewhat  ex- 
tensive, so  that  I  was  a  walking  budget  of  balderdash.  Yet  even 
my  estate  in  nonsense  required  economy,  and  I  began  to  get  out  at 
elbows,  so  as  to  be  reduced  to  borrow  from  myself,  and  mortgage  my 
resources  twenty  times  over ;  but  when  the  shallow  current  of  my 
wit  and  wisdom  was  nearly  at  its  summer  drought,  a  torrent  of 
matter-of-fact  lies  gave  new  force  to  the  exhausted  stream  of 
quibble.  Intrigues  which  had  never  been  intrigued,  and  practical 
jokes  which  had  never  been  played  off,  were  the  tools  I  worked 
with,  and  exactly  to  the  level  of  the  grand  duke ;  nay,  what  often 
happens  to  dull  dealers  in  inextinguishable  vivacity,  the  mornings 
were  spent  in  financiering  those  funds  of  conversation  which  were 
to  be  drawn  upon  after  dinner,  as  if  from  a  perennial  spring  of  pre- 
ternatural wealth. 

"  I  had  even  the.  impudence  to  set  up  for  a  poet,  and  made  my 
broken-winded  muse  trot  to  the  praises  of  the  prince.  I  allow  can- 
didly that  the  verses  were  execrable ;  but  then  they  were  quite  good 
enough  for  their  readers ;  and  it  remains  a  doubt  whether  if  they 
had  been  better  the  grand  duke  would  not  have  thrown  them  into 
the  fire.  They  seemed  to  be  just  what  he  would  have  written  upon 
himself.  In  short,  it  was  impossible  to  miss  the  proper  style  on  such 
a  subject.  But  whatever  might  be  my  merit  as  a  poet,  the  prince, 
by  little  and  little,  took  such  a  liking  to  my  person,  as  gave  occa- 
sion of  jealousy  to  his  courtiers.  They  tried  to  find  out  who  I  was. 
This,  however,  was  beyond  their  compass.  All  they  could  learn  was 
that  I  had  been  a  renegado.  This  was  whispered  forthwith  in  the 
prince's  ear,  in  the  hopes  of  hurting  me.  Not  that  it  succeeded :  on 
the  contrary,  the  grand  duke  one  day  commanded  me  to  give  him 
a  faithful  account  of  my  adventures  at  Algiers.  I  obeyed,  and  the 
recital,  without  reserve  on  my  part,  contributed  more  than  any  other 
of  my  stories  to  his  entertainment. 

"  '  Don  Eaphael,'  said  he,  after  I  had  ended  my  narrative,  '  I  have 
a  real  regard  for  you,  and  mean  to  give  you  a  proof  of  it  which  will 
place  my  sincerity  beyond  a  doubt.  Henceforth  you  are  admitted 
into  my  most  private  confidence,  as  the  first  fruits  of  which  you  are 
to  know  that  one  of  my  ministers  has  a  wife  with  whom  I  am  in 
love.  She  is  the  most  enchanting  creature  at  court,  but  at  the  same 
time  the  most  impregnable.  Shut  up  in  her  own  household,  exclu- 
sively attached  to  a  hr^gband  who  idolizes  her,  she  seems  to  be  igno- 
rant of  the  combustion  her  charms  have  kindled  in  Florence.  You 
will  easily  conceive  the  difficulty  of  such  a  conquest.  And  yet  this 
epitome  of  loveliness,  so  deaf  to  all  the  whispers  of  common  seduc- 
tion, has  sometimes  listened  to  my  sighs,    I  have  found  the  means 


808  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  speaking  to  her  without  witnesses.  She  is  ^ot  unacquainted 
with  my  sentiments.  I  do  not  flatter  myself  with  having  warmed 
her  into  love ;  she  has  given  me  no  reason  to  form  so  sweet  a  con- 
jecture. Yet  I  will  not  despair  of  pleasing  her  by  my  constancy, 
and  by  the  cautious  conduct,  even  to  mystery,  which  I  take  care  to 
observe. 

"  'My  passion  for  this  lady,'  continued  he,  '  is  known  only  to  her- 
self. Instead  of  pursuing  my  game  wantonly,  and  overleaping  the 
rights  of  my  subjects,  like  a  true  sovereign,  I  conceal  from  all  the 
Avorld  the  knowledge  of  my  love.  This  delicacy  seems  due  to  Mas- 
carini,  the  husband  of  my  beloved  mistress.  His  zeal  and  attach- 
ment to  me,  his  services  and  honesty,  oblige  me  to  act  in  this 
business  with  the  closest  secrecy  and  circumspection.  I  will  not 
plunge  a  dagger  into  the  bosom  of  this  ill-starred  husband  by  de- 
claring myself  a  suitor  to  his  wife.  Would  he  might  forever  be 
insensible,  were  it  within  possibility,  to  the  secret  flame  which 
devours  me,  for  I  am  persuaded  that  he  would  die  of  grief  were  he 
to  know  the  circumstances  I  have  just  now  confided  to  you.  1  there- 
fore veil  my  pursuit  in  impenetrable  darkness,  and  have  determined 
to  make  use  of  you  for  the  purpose  of  conveying  to  Lucretia  the 
merit  of  the  sacrifices  my  delicacy  imposes  on  my  feelings.  Of  these 
you  shall  be  the  interpreter.  I  doubt  not  but  you  will  acquit  your- 
self to  a  marvel  of  your  commission.  Contrive  to  be  intimate  with 
Mascarini ;  make  a  point  of  worming  yourself  into  his  friendship. 
Then  an  introduction  to  his  family  will  be  easy  ;  and  you  will  secure 
to  yourself  the  liberty  of  conversing  freely  with  his  wife.  This  is 
what  I  require  from  you,  and  what  I  feel  assured  you  will  execute 
with  all  the  dexterity  and  discretion  necessary  to  so  delicate  an 
undertaking.' 

"  I  promised  the  grand  duke  to  do  my  utmost  in  furtherance  of 
his  good  opinion,  and  in  aid  of  his  success  with  the  object  of  his 
desires.  I  kept  my  word  without  loss  of  time.  No  pains  were 
spared  to  get  into  Mascarini's  good  graces  :  and  the  design  was  not 
difficult  to  accomplish.  Delighted  to  find  his  friendship  sought  by 
a  man  possessing  the  affections  of  the  prince,  he  advanced  half  way 
to  meet  my  overtures.  His  house  was  always  open  to  me  ;  my  inter- 
course with  his  lady  was  unrestrained ;  and  1  have  no  hesitation  in 
affirming  my  measures  to  have  been  taken  so  well  as  to  have  pre- 
cluded the  slightest  suspicion  of  the  embassy  entrusted  to  my  man- 
agement. It  is  true,  he  had  but  a  small  share  of  the  Italian  jealousy, 
relying  as  he  did  on  the  virtue  of  his  Lucretia ;  so  that  he  often 
shut  himself  up  in  his  closet,  and  left  me  alone  with  her.  I  entered 
at  once  into  the  pith  and  marrow  of  my  subject.  The  grand  duke's 
passion  was  my  topic  with  the  lady ;  and  I  told  her  that  the  motive 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  309 

of  my  visits  was  only  to  plead  for  that  prince.  She  did  not  seem  tt 
be  over  head  and  ears  in  love  with  him ;  and  yet,  methought,  vanitj 
forbade  her  to  frown  decisively  on  his  addresses.  She  took  a  pleas- 
ure in  listening  to  his  sighs,  without  sighing  in  concert.  A  certain 
propriety  of  heart  she  had ;  but  then  she  was  a  woman,  and  it  was 
obvious  that  her  rigor  was  giving  way  insensibly  to  the  triumphant 
image  of  a  sovereign  bound  in  the  letters  of  her  resistless  charms. 
In  short,  the  prince  had  good  reason  to  flatter  himself  that  he  might 
dispense  with  the  ill-breeding  of  a  Tarquin,  and  yet  bend  Lucretia 
to  a  compliance  with  his  longings.  An  incident,  however,  the  most 
unexpected  in  the  annals  of  romance,  blasted  his  flattering  pros- 
pects ;  in  what  manner  you  shall  hear. 

"  I  am  naturally  free  and  easy  with  the  women.  This  constitu- 
tional assurance,  whether  a  blessing  or  a  curse,  was  ripened  into  in- 
veterate habit  among  the  Turks.  Lucretia  was  a  pretty  woman.  I 
forgot  that  I  was  courting  by  proxy,  and  assumed  the  tone  of  a  prin- 
cipal. Nothing  could  exceed  the  warmth  and  gallantry  with  which 
I  offered  my  services  to  the  lady.  Far  from  appearing  ofiended  at 
my  boldness,  or  silencing  me  by  a  resentful  answer,  she  only  said, 
with  a  sarcastic  smile,  '  Own  the  truth,  Don  Raphael ;  the  grand 
duke  has  pitched  upon  a  very  faithful  and  zealous  agent.  You  serve 
him  with  an  integrity  not  sufiiciently  to  be  commended.'  '  Madam,' 
said  I  in  the  same  strain,  'let us  not  examine  things  with  too  much 
nicety.  A  truce,  I  beseech  you,  with  moral  discussions ;  they  are 
not  of  my  element:  good  honest  passion  tallies  better  with  our 
natures.  I  do  not  believe  myself,  after  all,  the  first  prince's  con- 
fidant who  has  ousted  his  master  in  an  affair  of  gallantry ;  your 
great  lords  have  often  dangerous  rivals  in  more  humble  messengers 
than  myself.'  'That  may  be,'  replied  Lucretia;  'but  a  haughty 
temper  stands  with  me  in  the  place  of  virtue,  and  no  one  under  the 
degree  of  a  prince  shall  ever  sully  these  charms.  Regulate  your 
behavior  accordingly,'  added  she  in  a  tone  of  serious  severity,  '  and 
let  us  change  the  subject.  I  willingly  bury  your  presumption  in 
oblivion,  provided  you  never  hold  similar  discourse  to  me  again :  if 
you  do,  you  may  repent  of  it.' 

"  Though  this  was  a  comment  of  some  importance  on  my  text,  and 
ought  to  have  been  heedfully  conned  over,  it  was  do  bar  to  my  still 
entertaining  Mascarini's  wife  with  my  passion.  I  even  pressed 
her,  with  more  importunity  than  heretofore,  for  a  kind  consent  to 
my  tender  entreaties  ;  and  was  rash  enough  to  feel  my  ground  by 
some  little  personal  freedoms.  The  lady  then,  offended  at  my  words, 
and  still  more  at  my  Mohammedan  quips  and  cranks,  gave  a  complete 
set  down  to  my  assurance.  She  threatened  to  acquaint  the  grand 
duke  with  my  impertinence ;  and  declared  she  would  make  a  point 


310  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

of  his  punishing  me  as  I  deserved.  These  menaces  bristled  up  my 
spirit  in  return.  My  love  turned  at  once  into  hatred,  and  deter- 
mined me  to  revenge  myself  for  the  contempt  with  which  Lucretia 
had  treated  me.  I  went  in  quest  of  her  husband ;  and  after  having 
bound  him  by  oath  not  to  betray  me,  I  informed  him  of  his  wife's 
correspondence  with  the  prince,  and  failed  not  to  represent  her  as 
distractedly  enamored  of  him,  by  way  of  heightening  the  interest 
of  the  scene.  The  minister,  lest  the  plot  should  become  too  intri- 
cately entangled,  shut  his  wife  up,  without  any  law  but  his  own  will, 
in  a  secret  apartment,  where  he  placed  her  under  the  strict  guard 
of  confidential  persons.  While  she  was  thus  kept  at  bay  by  the 
watch-dogs  of  jealousy,  who  prevented  her  from  acquainting  the 
grand  duke  with  her  situation,  I  announced  to  that  prince,  with  a 
melancholy  air,  that  he  must  think  no  longer  of  Lucretia.  I  told 
him  that  Mascarini  had  doubtless  discovered  all,  since  he  had  taken 
it  into  his  head  to  keep  a  guard  over  his  wife ;  that  I  could  not  con- 
ceive what  had  induced  him  to  suspect  me,  as  I  flattered  myself 
■with  having  always  behaved  according  to  the  most  approved  rules 
of  discretion  in  such  cases.  The  lady  might,  I  suggested,  have  been 
beforehand,  and  owned  all  to  her  husband ;  and  had,  perhaps,  in 
concert  with  him,  suffered  herself  to  be  immured,  in  order  to  lie 
hid  from  a  pursuit  so  dangerous  to  her  virtue.  The  prince  appeared 
deeply  afflicted  at  my  relation.  I  was  not  unmoved  by  his  distress, 
and  repented  more  than  once  of  what  I  had  done ;  but  it  was  too 
late  to  retract.  Besides,  I  must  acknowledge,  a  spiteful  joy  tingled 
in  my  veins,  when  I  meditated  on  the  distressed  condition  of  the 
disdainful  fair  who  had  spurned  my  vows. 

"I  was  feeding  with  impunity  on  the  pleasure  of  revenge,  so 
palatable  to  all  the  world,  but  most  of  all  to  Spaniards,  when  one 
day  the  grand  duke,  chatting  with  five  or  six  nobles  of  his  court  and 
myself,  said  to  us,  '  In  what  manner  would  you  judge  it  fitting  for  a 
man  to  be  punished  who  should  have  abused  the  confidence  of  his 
prince,  and  designed  to  step  in  between  him  and  his  mistress?' 
'The  best  way,'  said  one  of  the  courtiers,  'would  be  to  have  him 
torn  to  pieces  by  four  horses.'  Another  gave  it  as  his  verdict  that 
he  should  be  soundly  beaten  till  he  died  under  the  blows  of  the 
executioner.  The  most  tender-hearted  and  merciful  of  these  Italians, 
with  comparative  lenity  towards  the  culprit,  wished  only  just  to 
admonish  him  of  his  fault,  by  throwing  him  from  the  top  of  a  tower 
to  the  bottom.  'And  Don  Eaphael,'  resumed  the  grand  duke  after 
a  pause,  '  what  is  his  opinion  ?  The  Spaniards,  in  all  likelihood, 
would  improve  upon  our  Italian  severity,  in  a  case  of  such  aggra- 
vated treachery.' 

"I  fully  understood,  as  you  may  well  suppose,  that  Mascarini 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  311 

had  not  kept  his  oath,  or  that  his  wife  had  devised  the  means  of 
acquainting  the  prince  with  what  had  passed  between  her  and  me. 
My  countenance  sufficiently  betokened  my  inward  agitation.  But 
for  all  that,  suppressing  as  well  as  I  could  my  rising  emotion  and 
alarm,  I  replied  to  the  grand  duke  in  a  steady  tone  of  voice,  *  My 
lord,  the  Spaniards  are  more  generous ;  under  such  circumstances 
they  would  pardon  the  unworthy  betrayer  of  his  trust,  and  by  that 
act  of  unmerited  goodness  would  kindle  in  his  soul  an  everlasting 
abhorrence  of  his  own  villainy.'  '  Yes,  truly,'  said  the  prince,  *  and 
I  feel  in  my  own  breast  a  similar  spirit  of  forbearance.  Let  the 
traitor  then  be  pardoned,;  since  I  have  myself  only  to  blame  for 
having  given  my  confidence  to  a  man  of  whom  I  had  no  knowledge, 
but,  on  the  contrary,  much  ground  of  suspicion,  according  to  the 
current  of  common  report.  Don  Eaphael,'  added  he,  '  my  revenge 
shall  be  confined  to  this  single  interdict.  Quit  my  dominions 
immediately,  and  never  appear  again  in  my  presence.'  I  withdrew 
in  all  haste,  less  hurt  at  my  disgrace  than  delighted  to  have  got  oflF 
so  cheaply.  The  very  next  day  I  embarked  in  a  Barcelona  ship, 
just  setting  sail  from  the  port  of  Leghorn  on  its  return." 

At  this  period  of  his  history  I  interrupted  Don  Eaphael  to  the 
following  effect :  "  For  a  man  of  shrewdness,  methinks  you  were  not 
a  little  off  your  guard  in  trusting  yourself  at  Florence  for  even  so 
short  a  time,  after  having  discovered  the  prince's  love  of  Lucretia 
to  Mascarini.  You  might  well  have  foreboded  that  the  grand  duke 
would  not  be  long  in  getting  to  the  knowledge  of  your  duplicity." 
"  Your  observation  is  very  just,"  answered  the  well-matched  son  of 
80  eccentric  a  mother  as  Lucinda ;  "  and  for  that  reason,  not  trust- 
ing to  the  minister's  promise  of  screening  me  from  his  master's  in- 
dignation, it  had  been  my  intention  to  disappear  without  taking 
leave. 

"  I  got  safe  to  Barcelona,"  continued  he,  "  with  the  remnant  of 
the  wealth  I  had  brought  from  Algiers ;  but  the  greater  part  had 
been  squandered  at  Florence  in  enacting  the  Spanish  gentleman. 
I  did  not  stay  long  in  Catalonia.  Madrid  was  the  dear  place  of  my 
nativity,  and  I  had  a  longing  desire  to  see  it  again,  which  I  satisfied 
as  soon  as  possible ;  for  mine  was  not  a  temper  to  stand  parleying 
with  its  own  inclinations.  On  my  arrival  in  town,  I  chanced  to 
take  up  my  abode  in  a  ready-furnished  lodging,  where  dwelt  a  lady  ' 
by  name  Camilla.  Though  at  some  distance  from  her  teens,  she 
was  a  very  spirit-stirring  creature,  as  Signor  Gil  Bias  will  bear  me 
out  in  saying;  for  he  fell  in  love  with  her  at  Valladolid  nearly 
about  the  same  time.  Her  parts  were  still  more  extraordinary 
than  her  beauty ;  and  never  had  a  lady  with  a  character  to  let  a 
happier  talent  of  inveigling  fools  to  their  ruin.     But  she  -.vas  not 


812  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

like  those  selfish  jilts  who  put  out  the  gullibility  of  their  lovers  to 
usury.  The  pillage  of  the  plodding  merchant,  or  the  grave  family 
man,  was  squandered  upon  the  first  gambler  or  prize-fighter  who 
happened  to  find  his  way  into  her  frolicsome  fancy. 

"  We  loved  one  another  from  the  first  moment,  and  the  con- 
formity of  our  tempers  bound  us  so  closely  together,  that  we  soon 
lived  on  the  footing  of  joint  property.  The  amount,  in  sober  sad- 
ness, was  little  better  than  a  cipher,  and  a  few  good  dinners  more 
reduced  it  to  that  ignoble  negative  of  number.  We  were  each  of 
us  thinking,  as  the  deuce  would  have  it,  of  our  mutual  pleasures, 
without  profiting  in  the  least  by  those  happy  dispositions  of  ours 
for  living  at  the  expense  of  other  folks.  Want  at  last  gave  a  keener 
edge  to  our  wits,  which  indulgence  had  blunted.  'My  dear 
Raphael,'  said  Camilla,  'let  us  carry  the  war  into  the  enemy's 
quarters,  if  you  love  me ;  for  while  we  are  as  faithful  as  turtles,  we 
are  as  foolish,  and  fall  into  our  own  snare,  instead  of  laying  it  for 
the  unwary.  You  may  get  into  the  head  and  heart  of  a  rich  widow ; 
I  may  conjure  myself  into  the  good  graces  of  some  old  nobleman : 
but  as  for  this  ridiculous  fidelity,  it  brings  no  grist  to  the  mill.' 
'Excellent  Camilla,'  answered  I,  'you  are  beforehand  with  me.  I 
was  going  to  make  the  very  same  proposal.  It  exactly  meets  my 
ideas,  thou  paragon  of  morality.  Yes ;  the  better  to  maintain  our 
mutual  fire,  let  us  forage  for  substantial  fuel.  As  good  may  always 
be  extracted  out  of  evil,  those  infidelities  which  are  the  bane  of 
other  loves  shall  be  the  triumph  of  ours.' 

"  On  the  basis  of  this  treaty  we  took  the  field.  At  first  there  was 
much  cry,  but  little  wool ;  for  we  had  no  luck  at  finding  cullies. 
Camilla  met  with  nothing  but  pretty  fellows,  with  vanity  in  their 
hearts,  tinsel  on  their  backs,  and  not  a  maravedi  in  their  pockets ; 
my  ladies  were  all  of  a  kidney  to  levy  rather  than  to  pay  contribu- 
tions. As  love  left  us  in  the  lurch,  we  paid  our  devotions  at  the 
shrine  of  knavery.  With  the  zeal  of  martyrs  to  a  new  religion  did 
we  encounter  the  frowns  of  the  civil  power,  whose  myrmidons,  as 
like  the  devil  in  their  nature  as  their  ofiice,  were  ordered  on  the 
lookout  after  us;  but  the  alguazil,  with  all  the  good  qualities  of 
which  the  corregidor  inherited  the  contraries,  gave  us  time  to  make 
our  escape  out  of  Madrid,  for  the  good  of  the  trade  and  a  small  sum 
of  money.  We  took  the  road  to  Valladolid,  meaning  to  set  up  in 
that  town.  I  rented  a  house  for  myself  and  Camilla,  who  passed 
for  my  sister  to  avoid  evil  tongues.  At  first  we  kept  a  tight  rein 
over  our  speculative  talents,  and  began  by  reconnoitring  the 
ground  before  we  determined  on  our  plan  of  operations. 

"One  day  a  man  accosted  me  in  the  street,  with  a  very  civil  salu- 
tation, to  this  efiect:  'Signor  Don  Eaphael,  do  you  recollect  my 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  313 

face?'  I  answered  in  the  negative.  'Then  I  have  the  advantage 
of  you,'  replied  he,  '  for  yours  is  perfectly  familiar  to  me.  I  have 
seen  you  at  the  court  of  Tuscany,  where  I  was  then  in  the  grand 
duke's  guards.  It  is  some  months  since  I  quitted  that  prince's 
service.  I  came  into  Spain  with  an  Italian,  who  will  not  discredit 
the  politics  of  his  country  :  we  have  been  at  Valladolid  these  three 
weeks.  Our  residence  is  with  a  Castilian  and  a  Galician,  who  are, 
without  dispute,  two  of  the  best  creatures  in  the  world.  We  live 
together  by  the  sweat  of  our  brows  and  the  labor  of  our  hands.  Our 
fare  is  not  abstemious,  nor  have  we  made  any  vow  against  the  temp- 
tations of  a  life  about  the  court.  If  you  will  make  one  of  our  party, 
my  brethren  will  be  glad  of  your  company ;  for  you  always  seemed 
to  me  a  man  of  spirit,  above  all  vulgar  prejudices,  in  short,  a  monk 
of  our  order.' 

"  Such  frankness  from  this  arch  scoundrel  was  met  half  way  by 
mine.  '  Since  you  talk  to  me  with  so  winning  a  candor,'  said  I, 
'you  deserve  that  I  should  be  equally  explicit  with  you.  In  good 
truth  I  am  no  novice  in  your  ritual ;  and  if  my  modesty  would  allow 
me  to  be  the  hero  of  my  own  tale,  you  would  be  convinced  that 
your  compliments  were  not  lavished  on  an  unworthy  subject.  But 
enough  of  my  own  commendations ;  proceed  we  to  the  point  in  ques- 
tion. With  all  possible  desire  to  become  a  member  of  your  body, 
I  shall  neglect  no  opportunity  of  proving  my  title  to  that  distinc- 
tion.' I  had  no  sooner  told  this  sharper  at  all  points  that  I  would 
agree  to  swell  the  number  of  his  gang,  than  he  conducted  me  to 
their  place  of  meeting,  and  introduced  me  in  proper  form.  It  was 
on  this  occasion  that  I  first  saw  the  renowned  Ambrose  de  Lamela. 
These  gentlemen  catechised  me  in  the  religion  of  coveting  my  neigh- 
bor's goods,  and  doing  as  I  would  not  be  done  by.  They  wanted  to 
discern  whether  I  played  the  villain  on  principle,  or  had  only  some 
little  practical  dexterity  ;  but  I  showed  them  tricks  which  they  did 
not  know  to  be  on  the  cards,  and  yet  acknowledged  to  be  better  than 
their  own.  They  were  still  deeper  lost  in  admiration,  when,  in  cool 
disdain  of  manual  artifice,  as  an  every-day  effort  of  ingenuity,  I 
maintained  my  prowess  in  such  combinations  of  roguery  as  require 
an  inventive  brain  and  a  solid  judgment  to  support  them.  In 
proof  of  these  pretensions,  I  related  the  adventure  of  Jerome  de 
Moyadas ;  and  on  this  single  specimen  of  my  parts,  they  conceived 
my  genius  of  so  high  an  order,  as  to  elect  me  by  common  con- 
sent for  their  leader.  Their  choice  was  fully  justified  by  a  host 
of  slippery  devices  of  which  I  was  the  master-wheel,  the  corner- 
stone, or  according  to  whatever  other  metaphor  in  mechanics  you 
may  best  express  the  soul  of  a  conspiracy.  When  we  had  occasion 
for  a  female  performer  to  heighten  the  interest,  Camilla  was  sent 


314  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

upon  the  stage,  and  played  up  to  admiration  in  the  parts  she  had 
to  perform. 

"  Just  at  that  period,  our  friend  and  brother  Ambrose  was  seized 
with  a  longing  to  see  his  native  country  once  more.  He  started  for 
Galicia,  with  an  assurance  that  we  might  reckon  on  his  return.  The 
visit  cured  his  patriotic  sickness.  As  he  was  on  the  road  back, 
having  halted  at  Burgos  to  strike  some  str©ke  of  business,  an  inn- 
keeper of  his  acquaintance  introduced  him  into  the  service  of  Signor 
Gil  Bias  de  Santillane,  not  forgetting  to  instruct  him  thoroughly  in 
the  state  of  that  gentleman's  affairs.  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  pursued 
Don  Raphael,  addressing  his  discourse  to  me,  "  you  know  in  what 
manner  we  eased  you  of  your  movables  in  a  ready- furnished  lodging 
at  Valladolid ;  and  you  must  doubtless  have  suspected  Ambrose  to 
have  been  the  principal  contriver  of  that  exploit,  and  not  without 
reason.  On  his  coming  into  town,  he  ran  himself  out  of  breath  to 
find  us,  and  laid  open  every  particular  of  your  situation,  so  that  the 
associated  swindlers  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  build  on  his  founda- 
tion. But  you  are  unacquainted  with  the  consequences  of  that  ad- 
venture; you  shall  therefore  have  them  on  my  authority.  Your 
portmanteau  was  made  free  with  by  Ambrose  and  myself.  We  also 
took  the  liberty  of  riding  your  mules  in  the  direction  of  Madrid,  not 
dropping  the  least  hint  to  Camilla  nor  to  our  partners  in  iniquity, 
who  must  have  partaken  in  some  measure  of  your  feelings  in  the 
morning,  at  finding  their  glory  shorn  of  two  such  beams. 

"  On  the  second  day  we  changed  our  purpose.  Instead  of  going 
to  Madrid,  whence  I  had  not  sallied  forth  without  an  urgent  motive, 
we  passed  by  Zebreros,  and  continued  our  journey  as  far  as  Toledo. 
Our  first  care,  in  that  town,  was  to  dress  ourselves  in  the  genteelest 
style ;  then,  assuming  the  character  of  two  brothers  from  Galicia  on 
our  travels  of  mere  curiosity,  we  Soon  got  acquainted  in  the  most 
respectable  circles.  I  was  so  much  in  the  habit  of  acting  the  man  of 
fashion,  as  not  easily  to  be  detected ;  and  as  the  generality  of  people 
are  blinded  by  a  free  expenditure,  we  threw  dust  into  the  eyes  of  all 
the  world,  by  the  elegant  entertainments  to  which  we  invited  the 
ladies.  Among  the  women  who  frequented  our  parties,  there  was 
one  not  indifferent  to  me.  She  appeared  more  beautiful  than  Cam- 
illa, and  certainly  much  younger.  I  inquired  who  she  was ;  and 
learned  that  her  name  was  Violante,  and  that  she  was  married  to  an 
ungrateful  spark,  who  soon  grew  weary  of  her  chaste  caresses,  and 
was  running  after  those  of  a  prostitute,  with  whom  he  .was  in  love. 
There  was  no  need  to  say  any  more  to  determine  me  on  enthroning 
Violante  the  sovereign  lady  and  mistress  of  my  thoughts  and  aflfec- 
tions. 

"She  was  not  long  in  coming  to  the  knowledge  of  her  conquest.  I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  315  , 

began  by  foUowiug  her  about  from  place  to  place,  and  playing  a 
hundred  monkey  tricks  to  instill  into  her  comprehension  that  nothing 
would  please  me  better  than  the  office  of  making  her  amends  for  the 
ill  usage  of  her  husband.  The  pretty  creature  ruminated  on  my 
proffered  kindness,  and  to  such  purpose  as  to  let  me  know  in  the 
end  that  my  labor  was  not  wasted  on  an  ungrateful  soil.  I  received 
a  note  from  her  in  answer  to  several  I  had  transmitted  by  one  of 
those  convenient  old  dowagers  in  such  high  request  throughout 
Spain  and  Italy.  The  lady  sent  me  word  that  her  husband  supped 
with  his  mistress  every  evening,  and  did  not  return  home  till  very 
late.  It  was  impossible  to  mistake  the  meaning  of  this.  On  that 
very  night  I  planted. myself  under  Violante's  windows,  and  engaged 
her  in  a  most  tender  conversation.  At  the  moment  of  parting,  it  Avas 
settled  between  us  that  every  evening,  at  the  same  hour,  we  should 
meet  and  converse  on  the  same  everlasting  topic,  without  gainsaying 
any  such  other  acts  of  gallantry  as  might  safely  be  submitted  to  the 
peering  eye  of  day. 

"  Hitherto  Don  Balthazar,  as  Violante's  husband  was  called,  had 
had  no  reason  to  complain  of  his  forehead ;  but  I  was  a  natural  phi- 
losopher, and  little  satisfied  with  metaphysical  endearments.  '  One 
evening,  therefore,  I  repaired  under  my  lady's  windows,  with  the 
design  of  telling  her  that  there  was  an  end  of  life  and  everything  if 
we  could  not  come  together  on  more  accommodating  terms  than  from 
the  balcony  to  the  street ;  for  I  had  never  yet  been  able  to  get  into 
the  house.  Just  as  I  got  thither,  a  man  came  within  sight,  appa- 
rently with  the  view  of  dogging  me.  In  fact,  it  was  the  husband 
returning  earlier  than  usual  from  his  precious  bit  of  amusement ; 
but  observing  a  male  nuisance  near  his  nunnery,  instead  of  coming 
straight  home,  he  walked  backwards  and  forwards  in  the  street.  It 
was  almost  a  moot  point  with  me  what  I  ought  to  do.  At  last,  I 
resolved  on  accosting  Don  Balthazar,  though  neither  of  us  had  the 
slightest  knowledge  of  the  other.  '  Noble  gentleman,'  said  I,  '  you 
would  do  me  a  most  particular  favor  by  leaving  the  street  vacant  to 
me  for  this  one  night;  I  would  do  as  much  for  you  another  time.' 
'  Sir,'  answered  he,  '  I  was  just  going  to  make  the  same  request  to 
you.  I  am  on  the  lookout  after  a  girl,  over  whom  a  confounded 
fellow  of  a  brother  keeps  watch  and  ward  like  a  jailer;  and  she  lives 
not  twenty  yards  from  this  place.  I  could  wish  to  carry  on  my  pro- 
ject without  a  witness.'  'We  have  the  means,'  replied  I,  'of  attain- 
ing both  our  ends  without  clashing;  for  the  lady  of  my  desires  lives 
there,'  added  I,  pointing  to  his  own  house.  '  We  had  better  even 
help  one  another,  in  case  of  being  attacked.'  '  With  all  my  heart,' 
resumed  he ;  '  I  will  go  to  my  appointment,  and  we  will  make  com- 
mon cause,  if  need  be.'     Under  this  pretence  he  went  away,  but 


316  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

only  to  observe  me  the  more  narrowly ;  and  the  darkness  of  the 
night  favored  his  doing  so  without  detection. 

"  As  for  me,  I  made  up  to  Violante's  balcony  in  the  simplicity  of 
my  heart.  She  soon  heard  my  signal,  and  we  began  our  usual 
parley.  I  was  not  remiss  in  pressing  the  idol  of  my  worship  to 
grant  me  a  private  interview  in  some  safe  and  practicable  place. 
She  was  rather  coy  to  my  entreaties,  as  favors  hardly  earned  are 
the  higher  valued :  at  length  she  took  a  letter  out  of  her  pocket, 
and  flung  it  down  to  me.  '  There,'  said  she,  '  you  will  find  in  that 
scrap  of  paper  the  promise  of  what  you  have  teased  me  so  long 
about.'  She  then  withdrew,  as  the  hour  approached^  when  her  hus- 
band usually  came  home.  I  put  the  note  up  carefully,  and  went 
towards  the  place  where  Don  Balthazar  had  told  me  that  his  busi- 
ness lay.  But  that  stanch  husband,  with  the  sagacity  of  an  old 
sportsman  where  his  own  wife  was  the  game,  came  more  than  half 
way  to  meet  me,  with  this  question :  '  Well,  good  sir,  are  you  satis- 
fied with  your  happy  fortunes  ?'  '  I  have  reason  to  be  so,'  answered 
I.  'And  as  for  yourself,  what  have  you  done?  Has  the  blind  god 
befriended  you?'  'Alas!  quite  the  contrary,'  replied  he;  'that  im- 
pertinent brother,  who  takes  such  liberties  with  my  beauty,  thought 
fit  to  come  back  from  his  country  house,  whence  we  hugged  our- 
selves as  sure  that  he  would  not  return  till  to-morrow.  This 
infernal  chance  has  put  all  my  soft  and  soothing  pleasures  out  of 
tune.' 

"Nothing  could  exceed  the  mutual  pledges  of  lasting  friendship 
which  were  exchanged  between  Don  Balthazar  and  me.  To  draw 
the  cords  the  closer,  we  made  an  appointment  for  the  next  morning 
in  the  great  square.  This  plotting  gentleman,  after  we  had  parted, 
betook  himself  to  his  own  house,  without  giving  Violante  at  all  to 
understand  that  he  knew  more  about  her  than  she"wished  him  to.  On 
the  following  day  he  was  punctual  in  the  great  square,  and  I  was 
not  five  minutes  after  him.  We  exchanged  greetings  with  all  the 
warmth  of  old  friendship ;  but  it  was  a  vapor  to  mislead  on  his  part, 
though  a  spark  of  heavenly  flame  on  mine.  In  the  course  of  con- 
versation, this  hypocritical  Don  Balthazar  palmed  upon  me  a  ficti- 
tious confidence,  respecting  his  intrigue  with  the  lady  about  whom 
he  had  been  speaking  the  night  before.  He  put  together  a  long 
story  he  had  been  manufacturing  on  that  subject,  and  all  this  to 
hook  me  in  to  tell  him,  in  return,  by  what  means  1  had  got  ac- 
quainted with  Violante.  The  snare  was  too  subtle  for  me  to  escape ; 
I  owned  all  with  the  innocence  of  a  new-born  babe.  I  did  not  even 
stick  at  showing  the  note  I  had  received  from  her,  and  read  the 
contents,  to  the  following  purport:  'I  am  going  to-morrow  to  dine 
with  Donna  Inez.    You  know  where  she  lives.     It  is  in  the  house 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  317 

of  that  confidential  friend  that  I  mean  to  pass  some  happy  momenta 
along  with  you.  It  is  impossible  longer  to  refuse  a  boon  your 
patience  has  so  well  merited.' 

" '  Here  indeed,'  said  Don  Balthazar,  'is  an  epistle  which  promises 
to  crown  all  your  wishes  at  once.  I  congratulate  you  beforehand 
on  your  approaching  happiness.'  He  could  not  help  fidgeting  and 
wriggling  a  little  while  he  talked  in  these  terms  of  his  own  house- 
hold ;  but  all  his  hitches  and  wry  faces  passed  off,  and  my  eyes  were 
as  fast  sealed  as  ever.  I  was  so  full  of  anticipating  titillations,  as 
not  to  think  of  noticing  my  new  friend,  who  was  obliged  to  get  off 
as  fast  as  he  could,  for  fear  of  betraying  his  agitation  in  my  presence. 
He  ran  to  acquaint  his  brother-in-law  with  this  strange  occurrence. 
I  know  not  now  what  passed  between  them :  it  is  only  certain  that 
Don  Balthazar  happened  to  knock  at  Donna  Inez's  door  just  when 
I  was  at  that  lady's  house  with  Violante.  We  were  warned  who  it 
was,  and  I  escaped  by  a  back  door  exactly  as  he  went  in  at  the  front. 
As  soon  as  I  had  got  safe  off,  the  women,  whom  the  unexpected 
visit  of  this  troublesome  husband  had  disconcerted  a  little,  recovered 
their  presence  of  mind,  and  with  it  so  large  a  stock  of  assurance,  as 
to  stand  the  brunt  of  his  attack,  and  put  him  to  a  nonplus  in  ascer- 
taining whether  they  had  hid  me  or  smuggled  me  out.  I  cannot 
exactly  tell  you  what  he  said  to  Donna  Inez  and  his  wife ;  nor  do 
I  believe  that  history  will  ever  furnish  any  authentic  particulars  of 
the  squabble. 

"  In  the  meantime,  without  suspecting  yet  how  completely  I  was 
gulled  by  Don  Balthazar,  I  sallied  forth  with  curses  in  my  mouth, 
and  returned  to  the  great  square,  where  I  had  appointed  Lamela  to 
meet  me.  But  no  Lamela  was  there.  He  also  had  his  little  snug 
parties,  and  the  scoundrel  fared  better  than  his  comrade.  As  I  was 
waiting  for  him,  I  caught  a  glimpse  of  my  treacherous  associate, 
with  a  knowing  smile  upon  his  countenance.  He  made  up  to  me, 
and  inquired,  with  a  hearty  laugh,  what  news  of  my  assignation 
with  my  nymph,  under  the  convenient  roof  of  Donna  Inez.  '  I  can- 
not conceive,'  said  I,  *  what  evil  spirit,  jealous  of  my  joys,  takes 
delight  to  nip  them  in  their  blossom :  but  after  we  had  embraced, 
kissed,  protested,  and,  as  it  were,  spoken  the  prologue  of  our  comedy, 
comes  the  peaking  cornuto  of  a  husband  (the  Furies  fly  away  with 
him !),  and  knocks  at  the  door  in  the  instant  of  our  encounter.  There 
was  nothing  to  be  done  but  to  secure  my  retreat  as  fast  as  possible. 
So  I  got  out  at  a  back  door,  sending  to  all  the  inhabitants  of  hell 
and  its  suburbs  the  jealous  knave  who  was  so  uncivil  as  to  search 
another  lady's  house  for  his  own  horns.'  *  I  am  sorry  you  sped  so 
ill-favoredly,'  exclaimed  Don  Balthazar,  who  was  chuckling  with 
inward  satisfaction  at  my  disappointment.    'What  a  mechanical 


818  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

rogue  of  a  husband  I  I  would  advise  you  to  show  no  mercy  to  the 
wittol.'  '  Oh,  you  need  not  teach  me  how  to  predominate  over  such 
a  peasant,'  replied  I.  '  Take  my  word  for  it,  a  new  quarter  shall  be 
fidded  to  his  coat  of  arms  this  very  night.  His  wife,  when  I  went 
away,  told  me  not  to  be  faint-hearted  for  such  a  trifle,  but  to  place 
myself  without  fail  under  her  windows  at  an  earlier  hour  than 
usual,  for  she  was  resolved  to  let  me  into  the  house ;  and,  as'  a  pre- 
caution against  all  accidents,  she  begged  me  to  bring  two  or  three 
friends  in  my  train,  for  fear  of  a  surprise.'  *  What  a  discreet  and  in- 
ventive lady  I'  said  he.  *  I  should  have  no  objection  to  being  of 
your  party.'  *  Ah  I  my  dear  friend,'  exclaimed  I,  out  of  wits  with 
joy,  and  throwing  my  arms  about  Don  Balthazar's  neck,  *  how  infi- 
nitely you  will  oblige  me  1'  '  I  will  do  more,'  resumed  he ;  '  I  know  a 
young  man,  armed  like  another  Csesar,  for  either  field  of  love  or 
war ;  he  shall  be  of  our  number,  and  you  may  then  rely  boldly  on 
the  sufljciency  of  your  escort.' 

"  I  knew  not  in  what  words  to  thanks  this  seeming  friend,  so  that 
my  gratitude  might  be  equivalent  to  his  zeal.  To  make  short  of 
the  matter,  I  accepted  his  proffered  aid.  Our  meeting  was  fixed 
under  Violante's  balcony  early  in  the  evening,  and  we  parted.  He 
went  in  quest  of  his  brother-in-law,  who  was  the  hero  in  question. 
As  for  me,  I  walked  about  all  day  with  Lamela,  who  had  no  more 
misgivings  than  myself,  though  somewhat  astonished  at  the  warmth 
with  which  Don  Balthazar  engaged  in  my  interests.  AVe  slipped 
our  own  necks  completely  into  the  noose.  I  own  this  was  mere  in- 
fatuation on  our  parts,  whose  natural  instinct  ought  to  have  warned 
us  of  a  halter.  When  I  thought  it  proper  time  to  present  myself 
under  Violante's  windows,  Ambrose  and  I  took  care  to  be  armed 
with  small-swords.  There  we  found  the  husband  of  my  fair  dame 
and  another  man,  waiting  for  us  with  a  very  determined  air.  Dou 
Balthazar  accosted  me,  and  introducing  his  brother-in-law,  said, 
'Sir,  this  is  the  brave  oflicer  whose  prowess  I  have  extolled  so 
highly  to  you.  Make  the  best  of  your  way  into  your  mistress's 
house,  and  let  no  fear  of  the  consequences  be  any  bar  to  the  enjoy- 
ment of  the  most  rapturous  human  bliss.' 

After  a  mutual  interchange  of  compliments,  I  knocked  at  Vio- 
lante's door.  It  was  opened  by  a  kind  of  duenna.  In  I  went,  and 
without  looking  back  after  what  was  passing  behind  me,  made  the 
best  of  my  way  to  the  lady's  room.  While  I  was  paying  her  my 
preliminary  civilities,  the  two  cutthroats  who  had  followed  me  into 
the  house,  and  had  banged  the  door  after  them  so  violently  that 
Ambrose  was  left  in  the  street,  made  their  appearance.  You  may 
well  suppose  that  then  was  the  appeal  to  arms.  They  both  fell  upon 
me  at  the  same  time ;  but  I  showed  them  some  play.    I  kept  them. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  319 

engaged  on  either  side  so  fiercely,  that  they  were  sorry,  perhaps,  not 
to  have  taken  a  safer  road  to  tlieir  revenge.  The  husband  was  run 
through  the  body.  His  brother-in-law,  seeing  him  on  his  travels  to 
the  shades  below,  made  the  best  of  his  way  to  the  door,  which  the 
duenna  and  Violante  had  opened,  to  make  their  escape  while  we 
were  fighting.  I  ran  after  him  into  the  street,  where  I  met  with 
Lamela  once  more,  who,  by  dint  of  not  being  able  to  get  a  word 
out  of  the  women,  running  as  they  did  for  their  very  lives,  did  not 
know  exactly  what  he  was  to  divine  from  the  infernal  noise  he  had 
just  heard.  We  got  back  to  our  inn.  After  packing  up  what  was 
best  worth  taking  with  us,  we  mounted  our  mules,  and  got  out  of 
town,  without  waiting  for  daybreak  or  fear  of  robbers. 

"  It  was  sufficiently  clear  that  this  business  was  not  likely  to  be 
without  its  consequences,  and  that  a  hue  and  cry  would  be  set  up  in 
Toledo,  which  we  should  act  like  wise  men  to  anticipate  by  a  retreat. 
We  staid  the  night  at  Villarubia.  At  the  inn  where  we  put  up, 
some  time  after  our  arrival,  there  alighted  a  tradesman  of  Toledo 
on  his  way  to  Segorba.  We  clubbed  our  suppers.  He  related  to  us 
the  tragical  catastrophe  of  Violante's  husband ,  and  so  far  was  he 
from  suspecting  us  of  being  parties  concerned,  that  we  inquired  into 
particulars  with  the  curious  indifference  of  common  newsmongers. 
'  Gentlemen,'  said  he,  'just  as  I  was  setting  out  this  morning,  the 
report  of  this  melancholy  event  was  handed  about.  Every  one  was 
on  the  hunt  after  Violante ;  and  they  say  that  the  corregidor,  a  rela- 
tion of  Don  Balthazar,  is  determined  on  sparing  no  pains  to  discover 
the  perpetrators  of  this  murder.  So  much  for  my  knowledge  of  the 
business.' 

"The  corregidor  of  Toledo  and  his  police  gave  me  very  little 
uneasiness.  But,  for  fear  of  the  worst,  I  determined  to  precipitate 
my  retreat  from  New  Castile.  It  occurred  to  me  that  Violante, 
when  hunted  out  of  her  hiding-place,  would  turn  informer,  and  in 
that  case  she  might  give  such  a  description  of  my  person  to  the 
clerks  in  office  as  might  enable  them  to  put  their  scouts  upon  a 
right  scent.  For  this  reason,  on  the  following  day  we  struck  out  of 
the  high  road,  as  a  measure  of  safety.  Fortunately  Lamela  was 
acquainted  with  three-fourths  of  Spain,  and  knew  by  what  cross- 
paths  we  could  get  securely  into  Arragon.  Instead  of  going  straight 
to  Cuen9a,  we  threaded  the  defiles  of  the  mountains  overhanging 
that  town,  and  arrived,  by  ways  with  which  my  guide  was  well 
acquainted,  at  a  grotto  looking  very  much  like  a  hermitage.  In  fact, 
it  was  the  very  place  whither  you  came  yesterday  evening  to  petition 
me  for  an  asylum. 

"  While  I  was  reconnoitring  the  neighborhood,  which  presented  a 
most  delicious  landscape  to  my  view,  my  companion  said  to  me,  '  It 


SaO  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

is  six  years  since  I  travelled  this  way.  At  that  time  the  grotto 
before  us  afforded  a  retreat  to  an  old  hermit  who  entertained  me 
charitably.  He  made  me  fare  as  he  did.  I  remember  that  he  was 
a  holy  man,  and  talked  in  such  a  strain  as  almost  to  wean  me  from 
the  vices  and  follies  of  this  nether  world.  He  may  possibly  be  still 
living;  I  will  ascertain  whether  it  be  so  or  not.'  With  these  words 
in  his  mouth,  Ambrose,  under  the  influence  of  natural  curiosity, 
alighted  from  his  mule,  and  went  into  the  hermitage.  He  remained 
there  some  minutes,  and  then  returned,  calling  after  me,  and  say- 
ing, *  Come  hither,  Don  Raphael,  and  bear  witness  to  a  most  affect- 
ing event.'  I  at  once  dismounted.  We  tied  our  mules  to  a  tree,  and 
I  followed  Lamela  into  the  grotto,  where  I  descried  an  old  anchoret 
stretched  at  his  length  upon  a  couch,  pale  and  at  the  point  of  death. 
A  white  beard,  very  thick,  hung  down  to  his  middle,  and  he  held  a 
large'  rosary,  most  piously  ornamented,  in  his  clasped  hands.  At  the 
noise  which  we  made  in  coming  near  him,  he  opened  his  eyes,  upon 
which  death  had  already  begu-n  to  lay  his  leaden  hand,  and  after 
having  looked  at  us  for  a  moment,  said,  '  Whosoever  you  are,  my 
brethren,  profit  by  the  spectacle  which  presents  itself  to  your  obser- 
vation. I  have  seen  out  forty  years  in  the  world,  and  sixty  in  this 
solitude.  But  mark !  At  this  eternal  crisis,  the  time  I  have  devoted 
to  my  pleasures  seems  an  age,  and  that,  on  the  contrary,  which  has 
been  sacred  to  repentance,  but  a  minute  I  Alas !  I  fear  lest  the 
austerities  of  brother  Juan  should  be  found  light  in  the  balance  with 
the  sins  of  the  licentiate  Don  Juan  de  Solis.' 

"  No  sooner  were  these  words  out  of  his  mouth  than  he  breathed 
his  last.  We  were  struck  by  the  solemn  scene.  Objects  of  this  kind 
always  make  some  impression  even  on  the  greatest  libertines  ;  but 
our  serious  thoughts  were  of  no  long  duration.  We  soon  forgot 
what  he  had  been  saying  to  us,  and  began  making  an  inventory  of 
what  the  hermitage  contained — an  employment  which  was  not  very 
laborious,  since  the  household  furniture  extended  no  further  than 
what  you  remarked  in  the  grotto.  Brother  Juan  was  not  only  in  ill- 
furnished  lodgings:  his  kitchen,  too,  was  in  a  very  rustic  plight. 
All  the  store  laid  in  consisted  of  some  small  nuts  and  some  pieces  of 
crusty  barley  bread  as  hard  as  flint,  which  had  all  the  appearance  of 
having  been  impregnable  to  the  gums  of  the  venerable  man.  I  spe- 
cify his  gums,  because  we  looked  for  his  teeth,  and  found  they  had 
all  dropped  out.  The  whole  arrangement  of  this  solitary  abode, 
every  object  that  met  our  eyes,  made  us  look  upon  this  good  ancho- 
ret as  a  pattern  of  sanctity.  One  thing  only  staggered  us  in  our 
opinion.  We  opened  a  paper  folded  in  the  form  of  a  letter,  and 
lying  upon  the  table,  wherein  he  besought  the  person  who  should 
read  the  contents  to  carry  his  rosary  and  sandals  to  the  bishop  of 


ADVENTUREii  OF  GIL  BLAS.  321 

Cuen^'a.  We  could  not  make  out  in  what  spirit  this  modern  recluse 
of  the  desert  could  aim  at  making  such  a  present  to  his  bishop.  It 
seemed  to  us  to  tread  somewhat  on  the  heels  of  his  humility,  and  to 
savor  of  one  who  was  a  candidate  for  a  niche  in  the  calendar. 
Though  indeed  it  might  be  that  there  was  nothing  in  it  but  a  simple 
supposition  that  the  bishop  was  such  as  himself;  but  whether  his 
ignorance  was  really  so  extreme,  I  shall  not  pretend  to  decide. 

"  In  talking  over  this  subject,  a  very  pleasant  idea  occurred  to 
Lamela.  *  Let  us  take  up  our  abode,'  said  he,  '  in  this  holy  retreat. 
The  disguise  of  hermits  will  become  us.  Brother  Juan  must  be  laid 
quietly  in  the  earth.  You  shall  personate  him  ;  and  for  myself,  in 
the  character  of  brother  Anthony,  I  will  go  and  see  what  is  to  be 
done  in  the  neighboring  towns  and  villages.  Besides  that  we  shall 
be  too  cunningly  ensconced  for  the  prying  curiosity  of  the  corregi- 
dor,  since  it  is  not  to  be  supposed  that  he  will  think  of  coming 
hither  to  look  for  us,  I  have  some  good  connections  at  Cuen^a, 
which  may  be  of  essential  service  to  us.'  I  fell  in  with  this  odd 
whim,  not  so  much  for  the  reasons  given  me  by  Ambrose,  as  in 
compliance  with  the  humor  of  the  thing,  and  as  it  were  to  play  a 
part  in  a  dramatic  piece.  We  made  an  excavation  in  the  ground  at 
about  thirty  or  forty  yards  from  the  grotto,  and  buried  the  old 
anchoret  there,  without  any  pompous  rites,  after  having  stripped 
him  of  his  wardrobe,  which  consisted  of  a  single  gown  tied  round 
the  middle  with  a  leathern  girdle.  We  likewise  despoiled  him  of  his 
beard,  to  make  me  an  artificial  one,  and  finally,  after  his  interment, 
we  took  possession  of  the  hermitage. 

"  The  first  day  our  table  was  but  meanly  served ;  the  provisions 
of  the  deceased  were  all  we  had  to  feed  on ;  but  on  the  following 
morning,  before  sunrise,  Lamela  set  off  to  sell  the  two  mules  at 
Toralva,  and  returned  in  the  evening  laden  with  provisions  and 
other  articles  which  he  had  purchased.  He  brought  everything 
necessary  to  metamorphose  us  completely.  For  himself  he  had 
provided  a  gown  of  coarse  dark  cloth,  and  a  little  red  horse-hair 
beard,  so  ingeniously  appended  to  his  ears  that  one  would  have 
sworn  that  it  was  natural.  There  is  not  a  cleverer  fellow  in  the 
universe  for  a  frolic.  Brother  Juan's  beard  was  also  new-modelled, 
and  adapted  to  the  plumpness  of  my  face.  My  brown  woollen  cap 
completed  the  masquerade.  In  fact,  nothing  was  wanting  to  make 
us  pass  for  what  we  were  not.  Our  equipage  was  so  ludicrously 
out  of  character,  that  we  could  not  look  at  one  another  without 
laughing,  under  a  garb  so  diametrically  at  variance  with  our  gene- 
ral complexion.  With  brother  Juan's  mantle,  I  caught  and  kept  his 
rosary  and  sandals,  taking  the  liberty  of  borrowing  them  for  the 
time  being  from  the  bishop  of  Cuen^a. 
21 


822  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

"  We  had  already  been  three  days  in  the  hermitage,  without  hav- 
ing been  interrupted  by  a  living  soul;  but  on  the  fourth,  two 
countrymen  came  into  the  grotto.  They  brought  bread,  cheese, 
and  onions,  for  the  deceased,  whom  they  supposed  to  be  still  living. 
I  threw  myself  on  our  miserable  couch  as  soon  as  they  made  their 
appearance ;  and  it  was  not  difficult  to  impose  on  them.  Besides 
that  it  was  too  dark  to  distinguish  my  features  accurately,  I  imitated 
the  voice  of  brother  Juan,  whose  last  words  I  had  heard,  to  the  best 
of  my  ability.  They  had  no  suspicion  of  the  trick,  though  a  good 
deal  surprised  at  finding  another  hermit  there.  Lamela,  taking  ad- 
vantage of  their  stupid  wonder,  said,  in  a  canting  tone,  '  My  breth- 
ren, be  not  astonished  at  seeijjg  me  in  this  solitude.  I  have  quitted 
a  hermitage  of  my  own  in  Arragon,  to  come  hither  and  be  a  com- 
panion to  the  venerable  and  edifying  brother  Juan,  who,  at  his  ad- 
vanced age,  wants  a  yoke-fellow  to  administer  to  his  necessities.' 
The  rustics  lavished  their  clumsy  panegyrics  on  the  charity  of  Am- 
brose, and  congratulated  themselves  that  they  might  triumph  over 
their  neighbors,  and  boast  of  two  holy  personages  residing  in  their 
country. 

"  Lamela,  laden  with  a  large  wallet  which  he  had  not  forgotten 
among  the  number  of  his  purchases,  went  for  the  first  time  to  recon- 
noitre the  town  of  Cuen^a,  which  is  but  a  very  short  distance  from 
the  hermitage.  With  a  mortified  exterior,  by  which  nature  had 
dubbed  him  for  a  cheat,  and  the  art  of  making  that  natural  decep- 
tion go  as  far  as  possible  by  a  most  hypocritical  and  factitious  array 
of  features,  he  could  not  fail  to  play  upon  the  feelings  of  the  char- 
itable and  humane,  and  those  whom  Heaven  has  blessed  with 
affluence.  His  knapsack  bore  testimony  to  the  extravagance  of 
their  pioiis  liberalities.  'Master  Ambrose,'  said  I  on  his  return,  'I 
congratulate  you  on  your  happy  knack  at  softening  the  souls  of  all 
good  Christians.  As  we  hope  to  be  saved,  one  would  suppose  you 
had  been  a  mendicant  friar  among  the  Capuchins.'  *  I  have  done 
something  else  besides  bringing  in  food  for  the  convent,'  answered 
he.  '  You  must  know  that  I  have  ferreted  out  a  certain  lass  called 
Barbara,  with  whom  I  used  to  flirt  formerly.  She  is  as  much  altered 
as  any  of  us ;  for  she  also  has  addicted  herself  to  a  godly  life.  She 
forms  a  coterie  with  two  or  three  other  sanctified  dames,  who  are  an 
■'xample  to  the  faithful  in  public,  and  flounce  over  head  and  ears 
in  every  sort  of  private  vice.  She  did  not  know  me  again  at  first. 
"What,  then,  Mistress  Barbara,"  said  I,  "is  it  possible  that  you 
should  have  discharged  one  of  your  oldest  friends  from  your  remem- 
brance, your  servant  Ambrose?"  "As  I  am  a  true  Christian,  Signor 
de  Lamela,"  exclaimed  she,  "  I  never  thought  to  have  turned  you  up 
in  such  a  garb  as  that.    By  what  transformation  are  you  become  a 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  323 

hermit?"  "  That  is  more  than  I  can  tell  you  just  now,"  rejoined  I. 
"  The  particulars  are  rather  long ;  but  I  will  come  to-morrow  evening 
and  satisfy  your  curiosity.  Nay,  more  ;  I  will  bring  brother  Juan, 
my  companion,  along  with  me."  "  Brother  Juan,"  interrupted  she, 
"  the  venerable  hermit  who  has  taken  up  his  saintly  residence  near 
this  town  ?  You  do  not  know  Avhat  you  are  saying  ;  he  is  supposed 
to  be  more  than  a  hundred  years  old."  "It  is  very  true,"  said  I, 
"  that  he  was  of  that  age  some  little  while  ago ;  but  time,  in  defer- 
ence to  his  sanctity,  has  gone  backward  with  him  ;  and  he  is  grown 
considerably  younger  within  these  few  days.  He  is  at  present  just 
about  my  turn  of  life."  "'  Say  you  so  !  Then  let  us  have  him  too," 
replied  Barbara.  "  I  perceive  there  is  something  more  in  this  mys- 
tery than  the  church  will  be  able  to  explain." ' 

"  We  did  not  miss  our  appointment  with  these  whited  sepulchres 
on  the  following  night.  To  make  our  reception  the  more  agreeable, 
they  had  laid  out  a  sumptuous  entertainment.  Off  went  our  beards 
and  cowls,  and  vestments  of  mortification  ;  and  without  any  squeam- 
ishness  we  confessed  our  birth,  education,  and  real  character,  to 
these  sisters  in  hypocrisy.  On  their  part,  for  fear  of  being  behind- 
hand with  us  in  freedom  from  prejudice,  they  fairly  let  us  see  of 
what  pretended  religionists  are  capable,  when  they  drop  the  veil  of 
the  sanctuary,  and  exhibit  their  unmanufactured  faces.  We  spent 
almost  the  whole  night  at  table,  and  got  back  to  our  grotto  but  a 
moment  before  daybreak.  We  were  not  long  in  repeating  our  visit; 
or,  if  the  truth  must  be  told,  it  was  nightly  for  three  months ;  till 
we  ate  up  more  than  two  thirds  of  our  ways  and  means  in  the  com- 
pany of  these  delicate  creatures.  But  an  unsuccessful  candidate  for 
their  favor  got  wind  of  our  proceedings,  and  prated  of  our  where- 
abouts in  the  ear  of  justice,  which  was  to  have  been  in  motion 
towards  the  hermitage  this  very  day,  to  lay  hold  of  our  persons. 
Yesterday  Ambrose,  while  picking  up  eleemosynaries  at  Cuenqa, 
stumbled  upon  one  of  our  whining  sisterhood,  who  gave  him  a  note, 
with  this  caution :  '  A  female  friend  of  mine  has  written  me  this 
letter,  which  I  was  going  to  send  to  you  by  a  man  on  purpose.  Show 
it  to  brother  Juan,  and  regulate  your  proceedings  accordingly.'  It 
was  this  very  note,  gentlemen,  that  Lamela  gave  me  in  your  pres- 
ence, which  occasioned  us  to  take  so  abrupt  a  leave  of  our  solitary 
dwelling." 


324  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


CHAPTER  II. 

DON  RAPHAEL'S  CONSULTATION  WITH  HIS  COMPANY ;  THEIR  ADVENTTTRES 
AS  THEY  WERE  PREPARING  TO  LEAVE  THE  WOOD. 

WHEN  Don  Raphael  had  finished  the  narrative  of  his  adven- 
turous life,  which,  with  all  the  other  qualities  of  romance, 
had  the  tediousness,  Don  Alphonso,  according  to  the  laws  of  good 
breeding,  swore  himself  black  in  the  face  that  he  had  been  pro- 
digiously entertained.  After  the  usual  exchange  of  compliments, 
Signor  Ambrose  put  in  his  oar,  with  an  admonitory  hint  to  the 
partner  of  his  exploits  and  peregrinations.  "  Consider,  Don  Raphael, 
that  the  sun  is  setting.  It  would  not  be  amiss,  methinks,  to  take 
counsel  on  what  we  are  to  do."  "  You  are  in  the  right,"  answered 
his  comrade ;  "  we  must  determine  on  the  place  of  our  destina- 
tion." "  For  my  own  part,"  replied  Lamela,  "  I  am  of  opinion  that 
we  should  get  upon  the  road  again  without  loss  of  time,  reach 
Requena  to-night,  and  enter  upon  the  territory  of  Valencia 
to-morrow,  where  we  will  go  to  work  full  tilt  at  our  old  trade.  1 
have  some  prognosticating  twitches,  which  tell  me  that  we  shall 
strike  some  good  strokes  in  that  quarter."  His  colleague,  from 
ample  experience  of  his  infallibility  in  such  prophecies,  voted  on 
his  side  of  the  question.  As  for  Don  Alphonso  and  myself,  having 
nothing  to  do  but  to  follow  the  lead  of  these  two  worthy  gentlemen, 
we  waited  in  silent  acquiescence  the  issue  of  this  momentous 
debate. 

Thus  it  was  determined  that  we  should  take  the  direction  of 
Requena ;  and  all  hands  were  piped  to  make  the  necessary  arrange- 
ments. We  made  our  meal  after  the  same  fashion  as  in  the 
morning,  and  the  horse  was  laden  with  the  bottle,  and  with  the 
remnant  of  our  provisions.  After  a  time,  the  approach  of  night 
seemed  to  promise  us  that  darkness  so  friendly,  and  even  so  neces- 
sary to  the  safety  of  our  retreat ;  and  we  were  beginning  our  march 
through  the  wood;  but  before  we  had  gone  a  hundred  paces,  a 
light  among  the  trees  gave  us  a  subject  of  anxious  speculation. 
"What  can  be  the  meaning  of  that?"  said  Don  Raphael;  "these 
surely  must  be  bloodhounds  of  the  police  from  Cuenqa,  uncoupled 
and  eager  for  the  sport,  with  a  fresh  scent  of  us  in  this  forest,  and 
in  full  cry  after  their  game."  "  I  am  of  a  verj'  different  opinion," 
said  Ambrose;  "they  are  more  likely  to  be  benighted  travellers 
taking  shelter  in  the  thicket  till  daybreak.  But  there  is  no  trusting 
to  conjecture :  I  will  examine  into  the  real  truth.  Stay  you  here, 
all  three  of  you ;  I  will  be  back  again  instantly."    No  soonex  said 


i 


ADVENTUMES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  325 

than  done ;  he  stole,  just  as  if  he  had  been  used  to  it,  towards  the 
light,  which  was  not  far  ofif ;  no  brute  or  human  thief  of  forest  or 
city  could  have  done  it  better.  With  a  gentle  removal  of  the 
leaves  and  branches  which  obstructed  his  passage,  the  whole  scene 
was  laid  open  to  his  silent  contemplation  ;  and  it  afforded  sufficient 
food.  On  the  grass,  round  about  a  lighted  candle  with  a  clod  for 
its  candlestick,  were  seated  four  men,  just  finishing  a  meat  pie,  and 
hugging  a  pretty  large  bottle,  which  was  at  its  last  gasp,  after 
having  sustained  their  alternate  embraces  for  successive  rounds. 
At  some  paces  from  these  gentry,  he  espied  a  lady  and  gentleman 
tied  to  the  trees,  and,  a  little  farther  off,  a  carriage  with  two  mules 
richly  caparisoned.  He  determined  at  once  in  his  own  mind  that 
the  fellows  carousing  on  the  ground  were  banditti ;  and  the  tenor 
of  their  talk  assured  him  that  he  had  not  belied  their  trade  by  his 
conjecture.  The  four  cutthroats  all  avowed  a  like  desire  of  possess- 
ing the  female  who  had  fallen  into  their  hands ;  and  they  were  propos- 
ing to  draw  lots  for  her.  Lamela,  having  made  himself  master  of  the 
business,  came  back  to  us,  and  gave  an  exact  account  of  all  he  had 
seen  and  heard. 

"  My  friends,"  said  Don  Alphonso,  on  his  recital,  "  that  lady  and 
gentleman,  whom  the  robbers  have  tied  to  trees,  are  probably 
persons  of  the  first  condition.  Shall  we  suffer  scoundrels  like  thege 
to  triumph  over  their  honor  and  take  away  their  lives  ?  Put  your- 
selves under  my  direction :  let  us  assail  the  desperate  outlaws,  and 
they  will  perish  under  our  attack."  "  With  all  my  heart,"  said 
Don  Raphael.  "  It  is  all  one  to  me.  I  had  just  as  soon  engage  on 
the  right  side  as  on  the  wrong."  Ambrose,  for  his  part,  protested 
that  he  wished  for  nothing  better  than  to  lend  a  hand  in  so  moral 
an  enterprise,  as  it  promised  to  combine  much  profit  with  some 
share  of  honor.  And  indeed,  if  a  man  may  speak  a  good  word  for 
himself,  danger  stood  better  recommended  than  usual  to  my  com- 
prehension ;  all  the  boiling  courage  of  knighthood,  pledged  up  to 
the  knuckles  or  the  chin  on  the  behalf  of  female  innocence,  was 
oozing  out  at  every  pore  of  this  chivalrous  person.  But,  if  we  are 
to  state  facts  in  the  spirit  of  history  rather  than  of  romance,  the 
danger  was  more  in  imagination  than  in  reality.  Lamela  having 
brought  us  word  that  the  arms  of  the  robbers  were  all  piled  up  at 
the  distance  of  ten  or  twelve  paces  out  of  their  reach,  there  was  no 
difficulty  in  securing  the  mastery  of  the  field.  We  tied  our  horses 
to  a  tree,  and  drew  near,  as  softly  as  possible,  to  the  spot  where  the 
robbers  were  seated.  They  were  debating  with  some  impetuosity, 
and  their  vociferous  argument  was  all  in  favor  of  our  covert 
attack.  We  got  possession  of  their  arms  before  they  had  any 
suspicion  of  us.     But  the  enemy  was  nearer  than  they  imagined — 


826  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

too  near  to  miss  aim ;  and  they  were  all  stretched  lifeless  on  the 
ground. 

During  the  conflict  the  candle  went  out,  so  that  we  proceeded  in 
our  business  by  guess-work.  We  were  not  remiss,  however,  in 
unbinding  the  prisoners,  of  whom  fear  had  got  such  complete  posses- 
sion, that  they  had  not  their  wits  enough  about  them  to  thank  us  for 
what  we  had  done  for  them.  It  must  be  allowed  that  they  could 
not  at  first  distinguish  whether  they  were  to  consider  us  as  their 
deliverers,  or  as  a  fresh  gang  who  had  taken  them  out  of  one  furnace 
to  cast  them  hissing  into  another.  But  we  recovered  their  spirits 
by  the  assurance  that  we  should  lodge  them  safely  in  a  public-house 
which  Ambrose  mentioned  as  not  being  more  than  half  a  mile  off, 
whence  they  might  take  all  necessary  measures  to  pursue  their 
journey  in  whatever  direction  they  thought  proper.  After  these 
words  of  comfort,  which  seemed  to  sink  deep,  we  placed  them  in 
their  carriage,  and  conducted  them  out  of  the  wood,  holding  their 
mules  by  the  bridle.  Our  clerical  friends  instituted  a  ghostly  visi- 
tation to  the  pockets  of  the  vanquished  banditti.  Our  next  step 
was  to  recover  Don  Alphonso's  horse.  We  also  took  to  ourselves 
the  steeds  of  the  roBbers,  waiting,  as  they  were,  to  be  released  from 
the  trees  to  which  they  were  tied  near  the  field  of  battle.  With  this 
extensive  calvacade  we  followed  brother  Antony,  mounted  on  one 
of  the  rabies,  and  conducting  the  carriage  to  the  inn,  whither  we  did 
not  arrive  in  less  than  two  hours,  though  he  had  pledged  his  credit 
that  the  distance  from  the  wood  was  very  short. 

We  knocked  roughly  at  the  door.  Every  living  creature  was 
napping,  except  the  fleas.  The  landlord  and  landlady  got  on  their 
clothes  in. a  hurry,  and  were  not  at  all  annoyed  at  finding  their  rest 
disturbed  by  the  arrival  of  an  equipage  which  promised  to  do  more 
for  the  good  of  the  house  than  it  eventually  did.  The  whole  inn 
was  lighted  up  in  an  instant.  Don  Alphonso  and  the  stage-bred 
son  of  Lucinda  lent  their  assistance  to  the  gentleman  and  lady  in 
alighting  from  the  carriage,  and  acted  as  their  ushers  in  leading  the 
way  to  the  room  prepared  for  them  by  the  landlord.  Compliments 
flew  backwards  and  forwards  like  shuttlecocks ;  but  we  were  not  a 
little  astonished  at  discovering  the  Count  de  Polan  himself  and  his 
daughter  Seraphina  in  the  persons  we  had  just  rescued.  It  would 
be  diflicult  to  represent  by  words  the  surprise  of  that  lady,  as  well 
as  of  Don  Alphonso,  when  they  recognized  each  other's  features. 
The  count  took  no  notice  of  it,  his  attention  being  engrossed  by 
other  matters.  He  set  about  relating  to  us  in  what  manner  the 
robbers  had  attacked  him,  and  how  they  secured  his  daughter  and 
himself,  after  having  killed  his  postilion,  a  page,  and  a  valet-de- 
chambre.    He  ended  with  declaring  how  deeply  he  felt  his  obliga- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


327 


tion,  and  that,  if  we  would  call  upon  him  at  Toledo,  where  he  should 
be  in  a  month,  we  should  judge  for  ourselves  whether  he  felt  as  a 
grateful  heart  ought  to  feel. 

His  lordship's  daughter  was  not  backward  in  her  acknowledg- 
ments for  her  timely  rescue ;  and  as  we  were  of  opinion — that  is, 
Raphael  and  myself — that  we  should  do  a  good  turn  to  Don  Al- 
phonso  by  giving  him  an  opportunity  of  a  minute's  private  parley 
with  the  young  widow,  we  contrived  to  keep  the  Count  de  Polan  in 
play.  "  Lovely  Seraphina,"  said  Don  Alphonso  to  the  lady,  in  a 
low  voice,  "  I  no  longer  lament  over  the  lot  which  obliges  me  to 
live  like  a  man  banished  from  civil  society,  since  I  have  been  so 
fortunate  as  to  assist  in  the  important  service  just  rendered  you." 
"  What,  then,"  answered  she,  with  a  sigh,  "  it  is  you  who  have  saved 
my  life  and  honor  ?  Is  it  to  you  that  we  are  so  indebted,  myself 
equally  with  my  father  ?  Ah  I  Don  Alphonso,  why  were  you  the 
instrument  of  my  brother's  death  ?"  She  said  no  more  upon  the 
subject;  but  he  conceived  clearly  by  these  words,  and  by  the  tone 
in  which  they  were  pronounced,  that  if  he  was  over  head  and  ears 
in  love  with  Seraphina,  she  was  equally  out  of  her  depth  in  the 
same  passion. 


328  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


BOOK   VI. 


CHAPTEE    I. 

THE  FATE  OF  GIL  BLAS  AND  HIS  COMPANIONS  AFTEK  THEY  TOOK 
LEAVE  OF  THE  COUNT  DE  POLAN. 

THE  Count  de  Polan,  after  having  exhausted  half  the  night  in 
thanking  us,  and  protesting  that  we  might  reckon  upon  his 
substantial  acknowledgments,  sent  for  the  landlord,  to  consult  him 
on  the  best  method  of  getting' safely  to  Turis,  whither  it  was  his 
intention  to  go.  We  had  nothing  to  do  with  this  nobleman's  further 
progress,  and  therefore  left  him  to  take  his  own  measures.  Our 
departure  from  the  inn  was  now  resolved  on ;  and  we  followed  La- 
mela  like  sheep  after  the  bell-wether. 

After  two  hours'  travelling,  the  day  overtook  us  near  Campillo. 
We  made  as  expeditiously  as  possible  for  the  mountains  between 
that  hamlet  and  Requena.  There  we  wore  out  the  day  in  taking 
our  rest  and  reckoning  up  our  stock,  which  the  spoil  of  the  robbers 
had  considerably  replenished,  to  the  amount  of  more  than  three 
hundred  pistoles,  the  lawful  ravage  of  their  pockets.  We  began 
our  march  again  with  the  setting  in  of  the  night,  and  on  the  follow- 
ing morning  reached  the  frontier  of  Valencia  in  safety.  We  got 
quietly  into  the  first  wood  that  offered  as  a  shelter.  The  inmost 
recesses  of  it  were  best  suited  to  our  purpose,  and  led  us  on  by 
winding  paths  to  a  spot  where  a  rivulet  of  transparent  water  was 
meandering  in  its  slow  and  silent  course,  to  incorporate  with  the 
waters  of  Gaudalaviar.  The  refreshing  shade  aiforded  by  the  foli- 
age, and  the  rich  pasturage  in  which  our  toil-worn  beasts  so  much 
delighted,  would  have  fixed  this  for  the  place  of  our  halting,  if  our 
resolution  had  not  been  previously  taken  to  that  effect. 

We  therefore  alighted,  and  were  preparing  to  pass  the  day  very 
pleasantly;  but  a  good  breakfast  was  amongst  the  foremost  of  our 
intended  pleasures,  and  we  found  that  there  was  very  little  ammu- 
nition left.  Bread  was  beginning  to  be  a  nonentity  ;  and  our  bottle 
was  becoming  an  evidence  of  the  material  system,  mere  carnal 
leather  without  a  vivifying  soul.  "Gentlemen,"  said  Ambrose, 
"scenery  and  the  picturesque  have  but  hungry  charms  for  me, 
unless  Bacchus  and  Ceres  preside  over  the  landscape.  Our  pro- 
visions must  be  lengthened  out.  For  this  purpose,  away  post  I  to 
Xelva.     It  is  a  very  pretty  town,  not  more  than  two  leagues  oflP.    I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  329 

shall  soon  make  this  little  excursion."  Speaking  after  this  manner, 
he  slung  the  bottle  and  a  wallet  over  a  horse's  back,  leaped  merrily 
into  his  seat,  and  shot  out  of  the  wood  with  a  rapidity  which  seemed 
to  bid  fair  for  a  speedy  return. 

He  did  not,  however,  come  back  quite  as  soon  as  he  had  given  us 
reason  to  expect.  More  than  half  the  day  had  elapsed;  nay,  night 
herself  was  already  pranking  up  her  dun  and  gloomy  wings,  to  over- 
shadow the  thicket  with  a  denser  horror,  when  we  saw  our  purveyor 
once  again,  whose  long  stay  was  beginning  to  give  us  some  uneasi- 
ness. Our  extreme  wishes  were  lame  and  impotent  compared  with 
the  abundance  of  his  stores.  He  not  only  produced  the  bottle, 
filled  with  some  excellent  wine,  and  the  wallet  stuffed  with  game 
and  poultry  ready  dressed,  to  say  nothing  of  bread, — the  horse  was 
laden  besides  with  a  large  bundle  of  stuffs,  of  which  we  could  make 
neither  head  nor  tail.  He  took  notice  of  our  wonder,  and  said  with 
a  smile,  "  I  will  lay  a  wager  neither  Don  Eaphael  nor  all  the  col- 
leges of  soothsayers  upon  earth  can  guess  why  I  have  bought  these 
articles."  With  this  fling  at  our  dullness,  he  untied  the  bundle,  and 
lectured  on  the  intrinsic  value  of  what  we  had  been  considering 
only  as  an  empty  pageant.  In  the  inventory  was  a  cloak  and  a 
black  gown  of  trailing  dimensions ;  doublets,  breeches,  and  hose  to 
correspond  ;  an  inkstand  and  writing  paper  such  as  a  secretary  of 
state  need  not  be  ashamed  of;  a  key  such  as  a  treasurer  might 
carry ;  a  great  seal  and  green  wax  such  as  a  chancellor  might  affix 
to  his  decreas.  When  he  had  at  length  exhausted  the  display  of  his 
bargains,  Don  Raphael  observed  in  a  bantering  tone,  "  Faith  and 
troth.  Master  Ambrose,  it  must  be  confessed  that  you  have  made  a 
good,  sensible  speculation.  But  pray,  how  do  you  mean  to  turn  the 
penny  on  your  purchase  ?"  "  Let  me  alone  for  that,"  answered 
Lamela.  "All  these  things  cost  me  only  ten  pistoles,  and  it  shall 
go  hard  but  they  bring  us  in  above  five  hundred.  The  tens  in  five 
hundred  are  fifty ;  a  good  improvement  of  money,  my  masters  I  I 
am  not  a  man  to  burden  myself  with  a  trumpery  pedler's  pack;  and 
to  prove  to  you  that  I  have  not  been  making  ducks  and  drakes  of 
our  joint  stock,  I  will  let  you  into  the  secret  of  a  plan  which  has 
just  taken  birth  in  my  pericranium. 

"After  having  laid  in  my  stock  of  bread,  I  went  into  a  cook's  shop, 
where  I  ordered  a  range  of  partridges,  chickens,  and  young  rabbits, 
half  a  dozen  of  each,  to  be  put  instantly  on  the  spit.  While  these 
relishing  little  articles  were  roasting,  in  came  a  man  in  a  violent 
passion,  open-mouthed  against  the  coarse  conduct  of  a  tradesman 
to  his  consequential  self.  This  fagot  of  fury  observed  to  the  lord 
paramount  of  the  dripping-pan,  '  By  St.  James  I  Samuel  Simon  is 
the  most  wrong-headed  retail  dealer  in  the  town  of  Xelva.    He  has 


830  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

just  insulted  me  in  his  own  shop  before  his  customers.  The  skin- 
flint would  not  trust  me  for  six  ells  of  cloth,  though  he  knows  very 
well  that  my  credit  is  as  good  as  the  bank,  and  that  no  one  could 
say  he  ever  lost  anything  by  me.  Are  not  you  delighted  with  the 
outlandish  monster?  He  has  no  objection  to  getting  people  of 
fashion  on  his  books.  He  had  rather  toss  up  heads  or  tails  with 
them  than  oblige  a  plain  citizen  in  an  honest  way,  and  be  paid  in 
full  at  the  time  appointed.  What  a  strange  whim  1  But  he  is  an 
infernal  Jew.  He  will  be  taken  in  some  day  or  other  I  All  the 
merchants  on  the  Exchange  are  lying  in  wait  to  catch  him  upon  the 
hip ;  and  his  disgrace  or  ruin  will  be  nuts  to  me.* 

"While  this  reptile  of  the  warehouse  was  thus  spitting  his  spite 
and  blurting  out  many  other  ill-natured  innuendoes,  there  came 
over  me  a  sort  of  astrological  anticipation  that  I  should  be  lord  of 
the  ascendant  over  this  Samuel  Simon.  '  My  friend,'  said  I  to  the 
man  who  was  complaining  against  that  hawker  of  damaged  goods, 
*  of  what  character  is  the  strange  fellow  you  are  talking  about?' 
*0f  a  confoundedly  bad  character,'  answered  he  in  a  pet.  'De- 
pend on  it,  be  is  one  of  the  most  extortionate  usurers  in  existence, 
though  with  the  affectation  of  not  letting  his  left  hand  know  what 
his  right  gives  away  in  charity.  He  was  a  Jew,  and  has  turned 
Catholic ;  but  rip  your  way  into  his  heart,  if  he  has  any,  and  you 
will  find  him  still  as  inveterate  a  Jew  as  ever  Pilate  was.  As  for 
his  conversion,  it  was  all  in  the  way  of  trade.' 

"  I  took  in  with  a  greedy  ear  the  whole  invective  of  the  shop-keep- 
ing declaimant,  and  failed  not,  on  coming  out  of  the  eating-house,  to 
inquire  for  Samuel  Simon's  residence.  A  person  directed  me  to  the 
part  of  the  town,  and  there  was  no  difficulty  in  finding  out  the 
house.  It  was  not  enough  to  skim  my  eye  cursorily  over  his  shop. 
I  peered  into  every  hole  and  corner  of  it;  and  my  imagination, 
always  on  the  alert  when  any  profit  is  to  be  picked  up,  has  already 
engendered  a  rogue's  trick,  which  only  waits  the  period  of  gestation, 
when  it  may  turn  out  a  bantling  not  unworthy  to  be  fathered  by 
the  sanctimonious  servant  of  Signor  Gil  Bias.  Straightway  went  I 
to  the  ready-made  warehouse,  where  I  bought  these  dresses,  into 
which  we  may  stuff  an  inquisitor,  a  notary,  and  an  alguazil,  and 
play  the  parts  in  the  spirit  of  the  solemn  offices  they  represent." 

"  Ah  I  my  dear  Ambrose,"  interrupted  Don  Eaphael,  transported 
with  rapture  at  the  suggestion,  "  what  a  wonderful  idea  I  a  glorious 
scheme  indeed  !  I  am  quite  jealous  of  the  contrivance.  Willingly 
would  I  blot  out  the  proudest  quarter  from  my  escutcheon  to  have 
owned  an  effort  of  genius  so  transcendent.  Yes,  Lamela,  I  see,  my 
friend,  all  the  rich  invention  of  the  design,  and  you  need  be  at  no 
loss  for  instruments  to  carry  it  into  effect.    You  want  two  good 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  331 

actors  to  play  up  to  you  ;  and  you  have  not  far  to  look  for  them. 
You  have  yourself  a  face  that  can  look  sanctified,  magisterial,  or 
bloodthirsty  at  will,  and  may  do  very  well  to  represent  the  Inquisi- 
tion. My  character  shall  be  that  of  the  notary;  and  Signor  Gil  Bias, 
if  he  pleases,  may  enact  the  alguazil.  Thus  are  the  persons  of  the 
drama  distributed :  to-morrow  we  will  play  the  piece,  and  I  will 
pledge  myself  for  its  success,  bating  one  of  those  unlucky  chance 
medleys  which  turn  awry  the  currents  of  the  most  pithy  and  mo- 
mentous enterprises." 

As  yet  Don  Raphael's  masterpiece  of  roguery  had  made  but  a 
clumsy  impression  on  my  plodding  brain ;  but  the  argument  of  the 
fable  was  developed  at  supper-time,  and  the  hinge  upon  which  it 
was  turned  was,  to  my  mind,  of  an  ingenious  contrivance^  After 
having  despatched  part  of  our  game,  and  bled  our  bottle  to  the  last 
stage  of  evacuation,  we  stretched  our  length  upon  the  grass,  and 
soon  fell  fast  asleep.  "  Up  with  you  I  up  with  you  1"  was  the  alarum 
of  Signor  Ambrose,  as  the  day  began  to  dawn.  "  People  who  have  a 
great  enterprise  on  hand  ought  not  to  indulge  themselves  in  indo- 
lence." "  A  plague  upon  you,  master  inquisitor,"  said  Don  Raphael, 
rubbing  his  eyes  ;  "  you  are  confounded  early  on  the  move  1  It  is 
as  good  as  an  order  for  execution  to  Master  Samuel  Simon."  "  Many 
a  true  word  is  spoken  in  jest,"  replied  Lamela.  "  Nay,  you  shall 
know  more,"  added  he,  with  a  sarcastic  grin.  "I  dreamt  last 
night  that  I  was  plucking  the  hairs  out  of  his  beard."  "Was  not 
that  a  left-handed  dream  for  him,  master  secretary  ?"  These  pleas- 
ant hits  were  followed  by  a  thousand  others,  which  called  forth  new 
bursts  of  merriment.  Our  breakfast  passed  off  with  the  utmost 
gayety ;  and  when  it  was  over,  we  made  our  arrangements  for  the 
pageant  we  had  got  up.  Ambrose  arrayed  himself  in  sables,  as  be- 
fitted so  ghostly  an  instrument  for  the  suppression  of  vice.  We  also 
took  to  our  official  habits  ;  nor  has  the  dignity  of  magistracy  been 
often  more  gravely  represented  than  by  Don  Raphael  and  myself. 
The  making  up  of  our  persons  was  rather  a  tedious  operation ;  for  it. 
was  later  than  two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  when  we  sallied  from  the 
wood  to  attend  our  c^U  at  Xelva.  It  is  true,  there  was  no  hurry, 
since  the  play  was  not  to  begin  till  the  setting  in  of  the  evening. 
That  being  the  case,  we  jogged  on  leisurely,  and  stopped  at  the  gates 
of  the  town  till  the  day  was  closed. 

At  that  eventful  hour,  we  left  our  horses  where  they  were,  to 
the  care  of  Don  Alphonso,  who  was  very  well  satisfied  to  have 
so  humble  a  cast  allotted  to  him  in  the  distribution.  As  for  Don 
Raphael,  Ambrose  and  myself,  our  first  visit  was  not  to  Samuel 
Simon  in  person,  but  to  a  tavern-keeper  who  lived  very  near 
him.    His  reverence    the    inquisitor  walked    foremost.    In  went 


832  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

he  to  the  bar,  and  said  gravely  to  the  landlord,  "  Master,  I  want 
to  speak  a  word  with  you  in  private."  The  obsequious  publican 
showed  us  into  a  room,  where  Lamela,  now  that  we  had  got  him  to 
ourselves,  said,  "  I  have  the  honor  to  be  an  unworthy  member  of 
the  holy  office,  and  am  come  here  on  a  business  of  very  great  im- 
portance." At  this  intimation,  the  man  of  liquor  turned  pale,  and 
answered  in  a  tremulous  tone  that  he  was  not  conscious  of  having 
given  any  umbrage  to  the  holy  Inquisition.  "  True,"  replied  Am- 
brose, with  encouraging  affabUity ;  "  neither  do  we  meditate  any 
harm  against  you.  Heaven  forbid  that  that  august  tribunal,  too 
hasty  in°its  punishments,  should  make  no  distinction  between  guilt 
and  innocence.  It  is  unrelenting,  but  always  just,  to  become  ob- 
noxious to  its  vengeance,  you  must  have  earned  its  displeasure  by 
wickedness  or  contumacy.  Be  satisfied,  therefore,  that  it  is  not  you 
who  bring  me  to  Xelva,  but  a  certain  dealer  and  chapman,  by  name 
Samuel  Simon.  A  very  ugly  story  about  him  has  come  round  to  us. 
He  is  still  a  Jew  in  his  heart,  they  say,  and  has  only  embraced 
Christianity  frpm  sordid  and  secular  motives.  I  command  you,  in 
the  name  of  the  tremendous  court  I  represent,  to  tell  me  all  you 
know  about  that  man.  Beware  how  you  are  induced  bv  good  neigh- 
borhood, or  possibly  by  close  friendship,  to  gloss  over  and  palliate 
his  errors ;  for  I  warn  you  authoritatively,  if  I  detect  the  slightest 
prevarication  in  your  evidence,  you  are  yourself  even  as  one  of  the 
abandoned  and  accursed.  Where  ia  my  secretary?"  pursued  he, 
turning  towards  Don  Raphael.     "  Sit  down  and  do  your  duty." 

Mr.  Secretary,  with  his  paper  already  in  his  hand  and  his  pen 
behind  his  ear,  took  his  seat  most  pompously,  and  made  ready  to 
take  down  the  landlord's  deposition  ;  who  promised  solemnly  on  his 
part  not  to  suppress  one  tittle  of  the  real  fact.  "  So  far,  so  good !" 
said  the  worshipful  commissioner ;  "  we  have  only  to  proceed  in  our 
examination.  You  will  only  just  answer  my  questions;  but  do  not 
interlard  your  replies  with  any  comments  of  your  own.  Do  you 
often  see  Samuel  Simon  at  church?"  "I  never  thought  of  looking 
for  him,"  said  the  drawer  of  corks ;  "hut  I  do  not  know  that  I  ever 
saw  him  there  in  my  life."  "  Very  good !"  cried  the  inquisitor 
"  Write  down  that  the  defendant  never  goes  to  church."  "  I  do  not 
say  so,  your  worship,"  answered  the  landlord,  "  I  only  say  that  I 
never  happened  to  see  him  there.  We  may  have  been  at  church 
together,  and  yet  not  have  come  across  each  other."  "My  good 
friend,"  replied  Lamela,  "  you  forget  that  you  are  deposing  to  facts, 
and  not  arguing.  Remember  what  I  told  you  ;  contempt  of  court  is 
a  heinous  offence.  You  are  to  give  a  sound  and  discreet  evidence ; 
every  iota  of  what  makes  against  him,  and  not  a  word  in  his  favor, 
if  you  knew  volumes."    "  If  that  is  your  practice,  O  upright  and 


ADVENTUKES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  338 

impartial  judge,"  resumed  our  host,  "  my  testimony  will  scarcely  be 
worth  the  trouble  of  taking.  I  know' nothing  about  the  tradesman 
you  are  inquiring  after,  and  therefore  can  tell  neither  good  nor  harm 
of  him  ;  but  if  you  wish  to  examine  into  the  history  of  his  private 
life,  I  will  run  and  call  Gaspard,  his  apprentice,  whom  you  may 
question  as  much  as  you  please.  The  lad  comes  and  takes  his  glass 
here  sometimes  with  his  friends.  Bless  us,  what  a  tongue!  He 
will  rip  up  all  the  minutest  actions  of  his  master's  life,  and  find 
employment  for  your  secretary  till  his  wrist  aches,  take  my  word 
for  it." 

"  I  like  your  open  dealing,"  said  Ambrose,  with  a  nod  of  approba- 
tion. "To  point  out  a  man  so  capable  of  speaking  to  the  bad 
morals  of  Simon,  is  an  instance  of  Christian  charity  as  well  as  of 
religious  zeal.  I  shall  report  you  very  favorably  to  the  Inquisition. 
Make  haste,  therefore,  go  and  fetch  this  Gaspard  of  whom  you 
speak ;  but  do  the  thing  cautiously,  so  that  his  master  may  have  no 
suspicion  of  what  is  going  forward."  The  multiplier  of  scores 
acquitted  himself  of  his  commission  with  due  diligence  and  laudable 
privacy.  Our  little  shopman  came  along  with  him.  The  youth  had 
a  tongue  with  a  tang,  and  was  just  the  sort  of  fellow  that  we  wanted. 
"  Welcome,  my  good  young  man  !"  said  Laraela.  "  You  behold  in 
me  an  inquisitor,  appointed  by  that  venerable  body  to  collect  infor- 
mations* against  Samuel  Simon,  on  an  accusation  of  still  adhering  to 
Judaism  in  his  secret  devotions.  You  are  an  inmate  of  his  family ; 
consequently  you  must  be  an  eye-witness  to  many  of  his  most  pri- 
vate transactions.  It  probably  may  be  unnecessary  to  warn  you 
that  you  are  obliged  in  conscience,  and  by  fear  of  punishment,  to 
declare  all  you  know  about  him,  notwithstanding  any  promise  to 
the  contrary,  when  I  order  you  so  to  do  on  the  part  of  the  holy 
Inquisition."  "  May  it  please  your  reverence,"  answered  the  plod- 
ding little  rascal,  "I  am  quite  ready  to  satisfy  your  heart's  desire  on 
that  head,  without  being  commanded  thereto  in  the  name  of  the 
holy  office.  If  ever  my  acquittal  was  to  depend  on  my  master's 
character  of  me,  I  am  persuaded  that  my  chance  would  be  a  sorry 
one,  and  for  that  reason  I  shall  serve  him  as  he  would  serve  me. 
And  I  may  tell  you,  in  the  first  place,  that  he  is  a  fly-by-night  whose 
proceedings  it  is  no  easy  matter  to  take  measure  of — a  man  who 
puts  on  all  the  starch  formalities  of  an  inveterate  religionist,  but 
at  bottom  has  not  a  spark  of  principle  in  his  composition.  He 
goes  every  evening  dangling  after  a  little  girl  no  better  than  she 
should  be."  ...  "I  am  vastly  glad  indeed  to  find  that,"  inter- 
rupted Ambrose,  "because  I  plainly  perceive,  by  all  you  have  been 
telling  me,  that  he  is  a  man  of  corrupt  morals  and  licentious  prac- 
tices.   But  answer  point  by  point  the  questions  I  shall  put  to  you. 


334  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

It  is  above  all  on  the  subject  of  religion  that  I  am  commissioned  to 
inquire  into  his  sentiments  and  conduct.  Pray  tell  me,  do  you  eat 
much  pork  at  your  house  ?"  "  I  do  not  think,"  answered  Gaspard, 
"  that  we  have  seen  it  at  table  twice  in  the  year  that  I  have  lived 
with  him."  "  Better  and  better  !"  replied  the  paragon  of  inquisi- 
tors ;  "  write  down  in  legible  characters  that  they  never  eat  pork  in 
Samuel  Simon's  family.  But  as  a  set-off  against  that,  doubtless  a 
joint  of  lamb  is  served  up  every  now  and  then  ?"  "  Yes,  every  now 
and  then,"  rejoined  the  apprentice ;  "  we  killed  one  for  our  own  con- 
sumption about  last  Easter."  "  The  season  is  pat  and  to  the  pur- 
pose," cried  the  ecclesiastical  commissioner.  "Come,  write  down 
that  Simon  keeps  the  passover.  This  goes  on  merrily  to  a  complete 
conviction ;  and  it  seems  we  have  got  a  good  serviceable  informa- 
tion here. 

"Tell  me  again,  my  friend,"  pursued  Lamela,  "whether  you  have 
not  often  seen  your  master  fondle  young  children."  "A  thousand 
times,"  answered  Gaspard.  "  When  he  sees  the  little  urchins  play- 
ing about  before  the  shop,  if  they  happen  to  be  pretty,  he  calls  them 
in  and  makes  much  of  them."  "  Write  that  down — be  sure  and 
write  that  down,"  interrupted  the  inquisitor.  "Samuel  Simon  is 
very  grievously  suspected  of  lying  in  wait  for  Christian  children, 
and  enticing  them  into  his  den  to  circumcise  them.  Vastly  well ! 
vastly  well,  indeed.  Master  Simon!  You  will  have  an  account  to 
settle  with  the  society  for  the  suppression  of  Judaism — take  my 
word  for  it.  Do  not  take  it  into  your  savage  head  that  such  bloody 
sacrifices  are  to  be  perpetrated  with  impunity.  A  pretty  use  you 
make  of  baptism  and  shaving  !  Cheer  up,  religious  Gaspard,  thou 
foremost  of  elect  apprentices  I  Make  a  full  confession  of  all  thy 
master's  sins ;  complete  thine  honest  testimony  by  telling  us  how 
this  simular  of  a  Catholic  is  more  than  ever  wedded  to  his  Jewish 
customs  and  ceremonies.  Is  it  not  a  fact  that  one  day  in  the  week 
he  sits  with  his  hands  before  him,  and  will  not  even  perform  the 
most  necessary  offices  for  himself?"  "No,"  answered  Gaspard,  "I 
have  not  exactly  observed  that.  What  comes  nearest  to  it  is,  that 
on  some  days  he  shuts  himself  up  in  his  closet,  and  stays  there  a 
long  time."  "  Ay,  now  we  have  it !"  exclaimed  the  commissary. 
"  He  keeps  the  Sabbath,  or  I  am  not  an  inquisitor.  Note  that  par- 
ticularly, officer — note  that  he  observes  the  fast  of  the  Sabbath  most 
superstitiously.  Out  upon  him  I  What  a  shocking  fellow !  One 
question  more,  and  his  business  is  done.  Is  he  not  always  parleying 
about  Jerusalem?"  "Pretty  often  indeed,"  replied  our  informer. 
"  He  knows  the  Old  Testament  by  heart,  and  tells  us  how  the  temple 
of  Jerusalem  was  destroyed."  "  The  very  thing  I"  resumed  Ambrose. 
"Secretary,  be  sure  you  do  not  neglect  that  feature  of  the  case. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  335 

Write,  in  letters  of  an  inch  long,  that  Samuel  Simon  has  contracted 
with  the  devil  for  the  rebuilding  of  the  temple,  and  that  he  is  plot- 
ting day  and  night  for  the  reestablishmeut  of  his  nation.  That  is 
all  I  want  to  know,  and  it  is  labor  in  vain  to  pursue  the  examina- 
tion any  further.  What  Gaspard,  in  the  spirit  of  truth  and  charity, 
has  deposed,  would  be  sufficient  to  make  a  bonfire  of  all  Jewry." 

When  the  august  mouthpiece  of  the  holy  tribunal  had  sifted  the 
little  scoundrelly  apprentice  after  this  manner,  he  told  him  he 
might  go  about  his  business,  at  the  same  time  commanding  him, 
under  the  severest  penalties  of  the  Inquisition,  not  to  say  a  word  to 
his  master  about  what  was  going  forward.  Gaspard  promised  im- 
plicit obedience,  and  marched  off.  We  were  not  long  in  coming 
after  him ;  our  procession  from  the  inn  was  as  grave  and  solemn  as 
our  pilgrimage  thereunto,  till  we  knocked  at  Samuel  Simon's  door. 
He  opened  it  in  person.  Three  figures  such  as  ours  might  have 
dumfounded  a  better  man ;  but  his  face  was  as  long  as  a  lawsuit, 
when  Lamela,  our  spokesman,  said  to  him  in  a  tone  of  authority, 
"  Master  Samuel,  I  command  you  in  the  name  of  the  holy  Inquisi- 
tion, whose  delegate  I  have  the  honor  to  be,  to  give  me  the  key  of 
your  closet  without  murmur  or  delay.  I  want  to  see  if  I  cannot  find 
wherewithal  to  corroborate  certain  hints  which  have  been  communi- 
cated to  us  respecting  you." 

The  son  of  commerce,  aghast  at  these  sounds  of  melancholy  im- 
port, reeled  two  steps  backward,  just  as  if  some  one  had  given  him 
a  blow  in  the  bread-basket.  Far  from  smelling  a  rat  in  this  pleasant 
trick  of  ours,  he  fancied  in  good  earnest  that  some  secret  enemy  had 
made  him  an  object  of  suspicion  to  the  holy  hue-and-cry ;  and  it 
might  possibly  have  happened  that,  from  being  rather  clumsy  at 
his  new  duties  as  a  Christian,  he  might  be  conscious  of  having  laid 
himself  open  to  serious  animadversion.  However  that  might  be,  I 
never  saw  a  man  look  more  foolish.  He  did  as  he  was  ordered 
without  saying  nay,  and  opened  all  his  lock-up  places  with  the 
sheepish  acquiescence  of  a  man  who  stood  in  awe  of  an  ecclesias- 
tical rap  on  the  knuckles.  "At  least,"  said  Ambrose,  as  he  went 
in,  "  at  least  you  are  not  a  contumacious  oppugner  of  our  resistless 
mandates.  But  withdraw  into  another  room,  and  leave  me  to  fulfill 
the  duties  of  my  station  without  profane  observers."  Samuel  did 
not  set  his  face  against  this  command  any  more  than  against  the 
first,  but  kept  himself  quiet  in  his  shop,  while  we  went  all  three  of 
us  into  his  closet,  where,  without  loss  of  time,  we  laid  an  embargo 
on  his  cash.  It  was  no  difficult  matter  to  find  it,  for  it  lay  in  an 
open  coffer,  and  in  much  larger  quantity  than  we  could  carry  away. 
There  were  a  great  many  bags  heaped  up,  but  all  in  silver.  Gold 
would  have  been  more  to  our  mind ;  but,  as  robbers  must  not  b« 


336  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

choosers  any  more  than  beggars,  we  were  obliged  to  yield  to  the 
necessity  of  the  case.  Not  only  did  we  line  our  pockets  with  ducats, 
but  the  most  unsearchable  parts  of  our  dress  were  made  the  recepta- 
cles of  our  filchings.  Yet  was  there  no  outward  show  of  the  heavy 
burden  under  which  we  tottered  ;  thanks  to  the  cunning  contrivance 
of  Ambrose  and  Don  Raphael,  who  proved  that  tjhere  is  nothing 
like  being  master  of  one's  trade. 

We  marched  out  of  the  closet,  after  having  feathered  our  nests 
pretty  warmly  ;  and  then,  for  a  reason  which  the  reader  will  have 
no  great  difficulty  in  guessing,  the  worshipful  inquisitor  produced 
his  padlock,  and  fixed  it  on  the  door  with  his  own  hands, — he 
affixed  moreover  his  own  seal, — and  then  said  to  Simon,  "  Master 
Samuel,  I  forbid  you,  in  the  name  of  the  holy  Inquisition,  to  touch 
either  this  padlock  or  this  seal,  which  it  is  your  bouuden  duty  to 
hold  sacred,  since  it  is  the  authentic  seal  of  our  holy  office.  I  shall 
return  hither  this  time  to-morrow,  then  and  here  to  open  my  com- 
mission, and  provisionally  to  take  off  the  interdict."  With  this 
injunction,  he  ordered  the  street  door  to  be  opened,  and  we  made 
our  escape  after  the  processional  manner,  out  of  our  wits  with  joy. 
As  soon  as  we  had  marched  about  fifty  yards,  we  began  to  mend 
our  pace  into  such  a  quick  step,  aggravated  by  degrees  into  a  leap 
and  a  bound,  that  we  were  almost  like  vaulters  and  tumblers,  in 
spite  of  the  weight  we  carried.  We  were  soon  out  of  town,  and 
mounting  our  horses  once  more,  pushed  forward  towards  Segorba, 
with  many  a  pious  ejaculation  to  the  god  Mercury,  on  the  happy 
issue  of  so  bold  an  attempt. 


CHAPTER   II. 

THE   DETEEMINATION  OF   DON  ALPHONSO  AND   GIL  BLAS  AFTER   THIS 
ADVENTURE. 

WE  travelled  all  night,  according  to  our  modest  and  unobtru- 
sive custom,  so  that  we  found  ourselves,  at  sunrise,  near  a 
little  village  two  leagues  from  Segorba.  As  we  were  all  tired  to 
death,  it  was  agreed,  unanimously,  to  strike  out  of  the  highway, 
and  rest  under  the  shade  of  some  willows,  which  we  saw  at  the  foot 
of  a  little  hill,  about  ten  or  twelve  hundred  yards  from  the  village, 
where  it  did  not  seem  expedient  for  us  to  halt.  These  willows  fur- 
nished us  with  an  agreeable  retreat,  by  the  side  of  a  little  brook 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  337 

which  bubbled  as  it  washed  their  roots.  The  place  struck  our  fancy, 
and  we  resolved  to  pass  the  day  there.  We  unbridled  our  horses, 
and  turned  them  out  to  grass,  stretching  our  own  gentle  limbs  on  the 
soft  sod.  There  we  courted  the  drowsy  god  of  innocent  repose  for 
a  while,  and  then  rummaged  to  the  bottom  of  our  wallet  and  our 
wine-skin.  After  an  ecclesiastical  breakfast,  we  counted  up  our  ten 
tithes  of  Samuel  Simon's  money,  and  it  amounted  to  a  round  three 
thousand  ducats.  So  that,  with  such  a  sum  and  what  we  had  before, 
it  might  be  said  without  boasting  that  we  knew  how  to  make  both 
ends  meet. 

As  it  was  necessary  to  go  to  market,  Ambrose  and  Don  Eaphael, 
throwing  off  their  dresses  now  the  play  was  over,  said  that  they 
would  take  that  office  conjointly  on  themselves :  the  adventure  at 
Xelva  had  only  sharpened  their  wit,  and  they  had  a  mind  to  look 
about  Segorba,  just  to  make  the  experiment  whether  any  opportu- 
nity might  offer  of  striking  another  stroke.  "  You  have  nothing  to 
do,"  added  the  heir  of  Lucinda's  wit  and  wisdom,  "  but  to  wait  for 
us  under  these  willows ;  we  shall  not  be  long  before  we  are  with 
you  again."  "Signor  Don  Raphael."  exclaimed  I  with  a  horse- 
laugh, "tell  us  rather  to  wait  for  you  under  a  more  substantial 
tree — the  gallows.  If  you  once  leave  us,  we  are  in  a  month's  mind 
that  we  shall  not  see  you  again  till  the  day  after  the  fair."  "  This 
suspicion  of  our  honor  goes  against  the  grain,"  replied  Signor  Am- 
brose ;  "  but  we  deserve  that  our  characters  should  suffer  in  your 
esteem.  It  is  but  reason  that  you  should  distrust  our  purity,  after 
the  affair  at  Valladolid,  and  should  fancy  that  we  shall  make  it  no 
more  a  matter  of  conscience  to  play  at  the  devil  take  the  hindmost 
with  you,  than  with  the  party  that  we  left  in  the  lurch  in  that 
town.  Yet  you  deceive  yourselves  egregiously.  The  gang  upon 
whom  we  turned  the  tables  were  people  of  a  very  bad  character, 
and  their  company  began  to  be  disreputable  to  us.  Thus  far  justice 
must  be  done  to  the  members  of  our  profession,  that  there  is  no 
bond  in  all  civilized  life  less  liable  to  be  broken  by  perso^ial  and 
private  interest ;  but  when  there  are  no  feelings  in  common,  our 
good  understanding  will  be  the  worse  for  wear,  as  it  happens  among 
other  descriptions  of  men.  Wherefore,  Signor  Gil  Bias,  I  entreat 
you,  and  Signor  Don  Alphonso  as  well  as  you,  to  be  somewhat  more 
liberal  in  your  construction  of  us,  and  to  set  your  hearts  at  ease  re- 
specting Don  Raphael's  and  my  whim  about  going  to  Segorba." 

"It  is  the  easiest  thing  in  the  world,"  observed  Lucinda's  hope- 
ful brat,  "to  quash  all  subject  of  uneasiness  on  that  score;  they 
have  only  to  remain  treasurers  of  the  exchequer,  and  they  will  have 
a  sufficient  pledge  in  their  hands  for  our  return.  You  see,  Signor 
Gil  Bla«,  that  we  are  all  fair  and  above  board.  You  shall  both 
22 


888  ADVENTURES  OF  QIL  BIAS. 

hold  security  for  our  reappearance,  and  you  may  rest  assured  that 
for  Ambrose  and  myself,  we  shall  set  off  without  the  slightest  mis- 
giving of  your  taking  to  your  heels  with  so  valuable  a  deposit. 
After  so  substantial  a  proof  of  our  good  faith,  will  you  not  place 
implicit  confidence  in  us?"  "Yes,  gentlemen,"  said  I,  "and  you 
may  do  at  once  whatever  seems  good  in  your  own  eyes."  They 
took  their  departure  immediately,  carrying  the  bottle  and  the 
wallet  along  with  them,  and  left  me  under  the  willows  with  Don 
Alphonso,  who  said  to  me,  after  they  were  out  of  sight,  "  Now  is 
the  time,  Signor  Gil  Bias,  to  open  my  heart  to  you.  I  am  angry 
with  myself  for  having  been  so  easily  prevailed  on  to  herd  thus  far 
with  these  two  knaves.  You  have  no  idea  how  many  times  I  have 
quarrelled  with  myself  on  that  score.  Yesterday  evening,  while  I 
was  watching  the  horses,  a  thousand  mortifying  reflections  rushed 
upon  my  mind.  I  thought  it  did  not  become  a  young  man  of 
honorable  principles  to  live  among  such  scurvy  fellows  as  Don 
Raphael  and  Lamela ;  that  if  by  ill  luck,  some  day  or  other, — and 
many  a  more  unlikely  thing  has  happened, — the  success  of  our. 
swindling  tricks  should  throw  us  into  the  hands  of  justice,  I  might 
sustain  the  shame  of  being  tried  with  them  as  a  reputed  thief,  and 
undergoing  the  disgraceful  sentence  of  the  law.  These  frightful 
thoughts  present  themselves  incessantly  to  my  imagination,  and  I  will 
own  to  you  that  I  have  determined,  as  the  only  means  of  escape  from 
the  contamination  of  their  bad  actions,  to  part  from  them  forever.  I 
can  scarcely  suppose  that  you  will  disapprove  of  my  design."  "No, 
I  promise  you,"  answered  I ;  "  though  you  have  seen  me  perform  the 
part  of  the  alguazil  in  Samuel  Simon's  comedy,  do  not  fancy  that 
such  pieces  as  those  are  got  up  to  my  taste.  I  take  heaven  to 
witness  that  while  acting  in  so  witty  a  scene,  I  said  to  myself, 
'  Faith  and  troth,  Master  Gil  Bias,  if  justice  should  come  and  lay 
hold  of  you  by  the  weasand  at  this  moment,  you  would  well  deserve 
the  penitential  wages  of  your  iniquity.'  I  feel  therefore  no  more 
disposed  than  yourself,  Don  Alphonso,  to  tarry  longer  in  such  bad 
company ;  and  if  you  think  well  of  it,  I  will  bear  you  company. 
When  these  gentlemen  come  back,  we  will  demand  a  balancing  of 
the  accounts,  and  to-morrow  morning,  or  even  to-night  before 
to-morrow,  we  will  make  our  bow  to  them." 

The  lovely  Seraphina's  lover  approved  my  proposal.  "  Let  us 
get  to  Valencia,"  said  he,  "  and  we  will  embark  for  Italy,  where  we 
shall  be  able  to  enter  into  the  service  oF  the  Venetian  republic. 
Will  it  not  be  far  better  to  take  up  the  profession  of  arms,  than  to 
lead  such  a  da.stardiy  and  disreputable  life  as  we  are  now  engaged 
in  ?  We  shall  even  be  in  a  condition  to  make  a  very  handsome  figure 
with  the  money  that  will  be  coming  to  us.    Not  that  I  appropriate  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  339 

myself  without  remorse  a  fund  so  unfairly  established ;  but  besides 
that  necessity  obliges  me  to  it,  if  ever  I  acquire  any  property  in  my 
campaigns,  I  make  a  vow  to  indemnify  Samuel  Simon."  I  gave 
Don  Alphonso  to  understand  that  my  sentiments  coincided  with 
his  own,  and  we  resolved  at  once  to  separate  ourselves  from  our 
companions  on  the  following  morning  before  daybreak.  We  were 
above  the  temptation  of  profiting  by  their  absence,  that  is,  of 
marching  off  in  a  hurry  with  the  sum  total  of  the  finances;  the  con- 
fidence they  had  reposed  in  leaving  us  masters  of  the  whole  revenue 
did  not  permit  such  a  thought  so  much  as  to  pass  through  our 
mindg. 

Ambrose  and  Don  Raphael  returned  from  Segorba  just  at  the 
close  of  day.  The  first  thing  they  told  us  was,  that  their  journey 
had  been  propitious,  for  they  had  laid  the  corner-stone  of  a  rascality 
which,  to  all  appearance,  would  turn  out  still  better  than  that  of 
the  evening  before.  And  thereupon  the  son  of  Lucinda  was  going 
to  put  us  in  possession  of  the  details ;  but  Don  Alphonso  cut  him 
short  in  his  explanation,  and  declared  at  once  his  intention  of  part- 
ing company.  I  announced  my  own  wish  to  do  the  same.  To  no 
purpose  did  they  empfoy  all  their  rhetoric  to  prove  to  us  the  pro- 
priety of  our  accompanying  them  in  their  professional  travels;  we. 
took  leave  of  them  the  next  morning,  after  having  made  an  equal ' 
division  of  our  cash,  and  pushed  on  towards  Valencia. 


CHAPTER    III. 


AN  UNFORTUNATE  OCCURBENCE,   WHICH  TERMINATED  TO  THE  HIGH 
DELIGHT  OF  DON  ALPHONSO. 

WE  galloped  on  gayly  as  far  as  Bunol,  where,  as  ill  luck  would 
have  it,  we  were  obliged  to  stop.  Don  Alphonso  was  taken 
ill.  His  disorder  was  a  high  fever,  with  such  an  excess  of  alarming 
symptoms  as  put  me  in  fear  for  his  life.  By  the  greatest  mercy  in 
the  world,  the  place  was  not  beset  by  a  single  physician,  and  I  got 
clear  off  without  any  harm  but  my  fright.  He  was  quite  out  of 
danger  at  the  end  of  three  days,  and  with  my  nursing,  his  recovery 
was  rapid  and  without  relapse.  He  seemed  to  be  very  grateful  for 
my  attentions,  and  as  we  really  and  truly  felt  a  liking  for  each 
other,  we  swore  an  eternal  friendship. 
At  length  we  got  on  our  journey  again,  in  the  constant  determi- 


840  ALVEIf TUBES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

nation,  when  we  arrived  at  Valencia,  of  profiting  by  the  first  oppor- 
tunity which  might  ofler  to  go  over  into  Italy.  But  Heaven  dis- 
posed of  us  diflerently.  We  saw  at  the  gate  of  a  fine  castle  some 
country  people  of  both  sexes  making  merry  and  dancing  in  a  ring. 
We  went  near  to  be  spectators  of  their  revels ;  and  Don  Alphonso 
was  never  less  prepared  than  for  the  surprise  which  all  at  once  came 
over  his  senses.  He  found  it  was  Baron  Steinbach,  who  was  as 
little  backward  in  recognizing  him,  but  ran  up  to  him  with  open 
arms,  and  exclaimed,  in  accents  of  unbridled  joy,  "  Ah,  Don 
Alphonso  I  is  it  you  ?  What  a  delightful  meeting  1  While  search 
was  being  made  for  you  in  every  direction,  chance  presents  you  to 
my  view." 

My  fellow-traveller  disn)ounted  immediately,  and  ran  to  embrace 
the  baron,  whose  joy  seemed  to  be  of  an  extravagant  nature. 
"Gome,  my  long-lost  son,"  said  the  good  old  man  ;  "you  shall  now 
be  informed  of  your  own  birth,  and  know  the  happy  destiny  that 
awaits  you."  As  he  uttered  these  words,  he  conducted  him  into  the 
castle.  I  went  in  along  with  them,  for  while  they  were  exchanging 
salutations,  I  had  alighted  and  tied  our  horses  to  a  tree.  The  lord 
of  the  castle  was  the  first  person  whom  we  met.  He  was  about  the 
age  of  fifty,  and  a  very  well-looking  man.  "  Sir,"  said  Baron  Stein- 
bach, as  he  introduced  Don  Alphonso,  "  behold  your  son."  At  these 
words,  Don  Caesar  de  Ley  va — for  by  that  title  the  lord  of  the  castle 
was  called — threw  his  arms  round  Don  Alphonso's  neck,  and  weep- 
ing with  joy,  muttered  indistinctly,  "  My  dear  son,  know  in  me  the 
author  of  your  being.  If  I  have  for  so  long  left  you  in  ignorance  of 
your  birth  and  family,  rest  assured  that  the  self-denial  was  mine  in 
the  most  painful  degree.  I  have  a  thousand  times  been  ready  to 
burst  with  anxiety,  but  it  was  impossible  to  act  otherwise.  I  had 
married  your  mother  from  sheer  attachment,  for  her  origin  was  very 
inferior  to  mine.  I  lived  under  the  control  of  an  austere  father, 
whose  severity  rendered  it  necessary  to  keep  secret  a  marriage  con- 
tracted without  his  sanction.  Baron  Steinbach,  and  he  alone,  was 
in  my  confidence ;  he  brought  you  up  at  my  request,  and  under  my 
directions.  At  length  my  father  is  laid  with  his  ancestors,  and  I 
can  own  you  for  my  son  and  heir.  This  is  not  all ;  I  can  give  you 
for  a  bride  a  young  lady  whose  rank  is  on  a  level  with  my  own." 
"  Sir,"  interrupted  Don  Alphonso,  "  make  me  not  pay  too  dear  for 
the  happinesj*  you  have  just  been  throwing  in  my  lap.  May  I  not 
be  told  that  I  have  the  honor  of  being  your  son  without  being  in- 
formed at  the  same  time  that  you  are  determined  to  make  me  mise- 
rable? Ah,  sir,  be  not  more  cruel  than  your  own  father.  If  he  did 
not  consent  to  the  indulgence  of  your  passion,  at  least  he  never 
compelled  you  to  take  another  wife."     "My  son,"  replied  Don 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  341 

Caesar,  "  I  have  no  wish  to  exercise  a  tyranny  over  your  inclinations 
which  I  spurned  at  in  my  own  case.  But  have  the  good  manners 
just  to  see  the  lady  I  design  for  you ;  that  is  all  I  require  from  your 
filial  duty.  Though  a  lovely  creature,  and  a  very  advantageous 
match,  I  promise  never  to  force  you  into  marriage.  She  is  now  in 
this  castle.  Follow  me;  you  will  be  obliged  to  acknowledge  that 
you  have  rarely  seen  a  more  attractive  object."  So  saying,  he  led 
Don  Alphonso  into  a  room  where  I  made  made  myself  one  of  the 
party  with  Baron  Steinbach. 

There  was  the  Count  de  Polan,  with  his  two  daughters,  Seraphina 
and  Julia,  and  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva,  his  son-in-law,  who  was 
Don  Caesar's  nephew.  Don  Ferdinand,  as  was  mentioned  before, 
had  eloped  with  Julia,  and  it  was  on  the  occasion  of  the  marriage 
between  these  two  lovers  that  the  peasantry  of  the  neighborhood 
were  collected  on  this  day  to  congratulate  the  bride  and  bride- 
groom. As  soon  as  Don  Alphonso  made  his  appearance,  and  his 
father  had  introduced  him  to  the  company,  the  Count  de  Polan  rose 
from  his  chair  and  ran  to  embrace  him,  saying,  "  Welcome,  my  de- 
liverer !  Don  Alphonso,"  added  he,  addressing  his  discourse  to 
him,  "  observe  the  power  of  virtue  over  generous  minds.  Though 
you  have  killed  my  son,  you  saved  my  life.  I  lay  aside  my  resent- 
ment forever,  and  give  you  that  very  Seraphina  whose  honor  you 
protected  from  invasion.  In  so  doing,  my  debt  to  you  is  paid." 
Don  Caesar's  son  was  not  wanting  in  acknowledgments  to  the  Count 
de  Polan,  nor  could  he  be  otherwise  than  deeply  affected  by  his 
goodness;  and  it  may  be  doubted  whether  the  discovery  of  his 
birth  and  parentage  touched  his  felicity  more  nearly  than  the  intel- 
ligence that  he  was  the  destined  husband  of  Seraphina.  This  mar- 
riage was  actually  solemnized  some  days  afterwards,  to  the  entire 
satisfaction  of  all  concerned. 

As  I  was  one  of  the  Count  de  Polan's  deliverers,  this  nobleman, 
who  knew  me  again  immediately,  said  that  he  would  take  upon 
himself  the  care  of  making  my  fortune.  I  thanked  him  for  his  libe- 
rality, but  would  not  leave  Don  Alphonso,  who  made  me  steward  of 
his  household,  and  honored  me  with  his  confidence.  A  few  days 
after  his  marriage,  still  harping  upon  the  trick  which  had  been 
played  to  Samuel  Simon,  he  sent  me  to  return  to  that  cozened  shop- 
keeper all  the  money  which  had  been  filched  from  him.  I  went, 
therefore,  to  make  restitution.  This  was  setting  up  the  trade  of  a 
steward,  but  beginning  at  the  wrong  end :  they  ought  all  of  them 
to  end  with  restitution ;  but  nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine  out  ef 
a  thousand  think  it  double  trouble,  and  excuse  themselves. 


342  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  SLAS. 


BOOK  VII. 


CHAPTEE  I. 

THE  TENDER  ATTACHMENT  BETWEEN  GIL  BLAS  AND  DAME   LORENZA 
SEPHORA. 

WITH  three  thousand  ducats  under  my  charge,  as  an  equiva- 
lent to  Samuel  Simon  for  the  amount  of  his  loss,  away  went 
I  to  Xelva.  I  will  have  the  honesty  to  own  that  my  fingers  itched, 
as  I  jogged  along,  to  transfer  these  funds  to  my  own  account,  and 
begin  my  stewardship  in  character,  since  everything  in  this  life 
depends  upon  setting  out  well.  There  was  no  risk  in  preferring 
instinct  to  principle,  because  it  was  only  to  ride  about  the  country 
for  five  or  six  days,  and  come  home  upon  a  brisk  trot,  as  if  I  had 
done  my  business  and  made  the  best  of  my  way.  Don  Alphonso 
and  his  father  would  never  have  believed  me  capable  of  a  breach  of 
trust.  Yet,  strange  to  tell,  I  was  proof  against  so  tempting  a  sug- 
gestion ;  it  would  scarcely  be  too  much  to  say,  that  honor,  not  the 
fear  of  being  found  out,  was  the  spring  of  so  praiseworthy  a  deci- 
sion •?  and  as  times  go,  that  is  saying  a  great  deal  for  a  lad  whose 
conscience  had  been  pretty  well  seasoned  by  keeping  company  with 
a  long  succession  of  scoundrels.  Many  people  who  have  not  that 
excuse,  but  frequent  worshipful  society,  will  wonder  how  such 
squeamishness  should  have  prevailed  over  my  good  sense :  treas- 
urers of  charities  in  particular ;  persons  who  have  the  wills  of  rela- 
tions in  their  custody,  and  do  not  exactly  like  the  contents;  in 
short,  all  those  whose  characters  stand  higher  than  their  principles, 
will  find  food  for  reflection  in  my  overstrained  scrupulosity. 

After  having  made  restitution  to  the  merchant,  who  little  thought 
ever  to  have  seen  one  farthing  of  his  property  again,  I  returned  to 
the  castle  of  Leyva.  The  Count  de  Polan  had  taken  his  departure, 
and  was  far  on  his  journey  to  Toledo  with  Julia  and  Don  Ferdi- 
nand. I  found  my  new  master  more  wrapped  up  than  ever  in  Sera- 
phina ;  his  Seraphina  equally  wrapped  up  in  my  master,  and  Don 
Caesar  just  as  much  wrapped  up  as  either  in  the  contemplation  of 
the  happy  couple.  My  object  was  to  gain  the  good  will  of  this 
affectionate  father,  and  I  succeeded  to  my  wish.  The  whole  house 
was  placed  implicitly  under  my  superintendence — nothing  was  done 
without  my  special  direction  ;  the  tenants  paid  their  rents  into  my 
hands ;  the  disbursements  of  the  family  were  all  under  my  revision ; 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  343 

and  the  subordinate  situations  in  the  household  were  at  my  disposal 
without  appeal ;  and  yet  the  power  of  tyrannizing  did  not  give  me 
the  inclination,  as  it  has  always  hitherto  done  to  my  equals  and 
superiors.  I  neither  turned  away  the  male  servants  because  I  did 
not  like  the  cut  of  their  beards,  nor  the  female  ones  because  they 
happened  not  to  like  the  cut  of  mine.  If  they  made  up  to  Don 
Caesar  or  his  sou  at  once,  without  currying  my  favor  as  the  channel 
of  all  good  graces,  far  from  taking  umbrage  at  them  on  that  account, 
I  spoke  out  officiously  in  their  behalf.  In  other  respects,  too,  the 
marks  of  confidence  my  two  masters  were  incessantly  lavishing  on 
me  inspired  me  with  a  substantial  zeal  for  their  service.  Their 
interest  was  my  real  object ;  there  was  no  sleight  of  hand  in  my 
ministry ;  I  was  such  a  caterer  for  the  general  good  as  you  rarely 
meet  with  in  private  families  or  in  political  societies. 

While  I  was  hugging  myself  on  the  well-earned  prosperity  of  my 
condition,  love,  jealous  of  my  dealings  with  fortune,  was  bent  on 
sharing  my  gratitude  by  the  addition  of  a  higher  zest.  He  planted, 
watered,  and  ripened  in  the  heart  of  Dame  Lorenza  Sephora,  Sera- 
phina's  confidential  woman,  an  abundant  crop  of  liking  for  the 
happy  steward.  My  Helen,  not  to  sink  the  fidelity  of  the  historian 
in  the  vanity  of  the  man,  could  not  be  many  months  short  of  her 
fiftieth  year.  But  for  all  that,  a  look  of  wholesomeness,  a  face  none 
of  the  ugliest,  and  two  good-looking  eyes,  of  which  she  knew  the 
efficient  use,  might  make  her  still  pass  for  a  decent  bit  of  amuse- 
ment in  a  summer  evening.  I  could  only  just  have  been  thankful 
for  a  little  more  relief  to  her  complexion,  since  it  was  precisely  the 
color  of  chalk  ;  but  that  I  attributed  to  maiden  concealments,  which 
had  eaten  away  all  the  damask  of  her  cheek. 

The  lady  ogled  me  for  a  long  time  with  eyes  that  savored  more  of 
passion  than  of  chastity  ;  but  instead  of  communing  in  the  language 
of  the  eyes,  I  made  pretence  at  first  not  to  be  sensible  of  my  own 
happiness.  Thus  did  my  gallantry  appear  as  if  arrayed  in  its  first 
blushes  ;  a  circumstance  which  was  rather  tempting  than  repulsive 
to  her  feelings.  •  Taking  it  into  her  head,  therefore,  that  there  was 
no  standing  upon  dumb  eloquence  with  a  young  man  who  looked 
more  like  a  novice  than  he  was,  at  our  very  first  interview  she 
declared  her  sentiments  in  broad,  unequivocal  terms,  that  I  might 
have  no  plea  for  misinterpretation.  She  played  her  part  like  an 
old  stager ;  affected  to  be  overwhelmed  with  confusion  while  she 
was  speaking  to  me ;  and  after  having  said  all  she  wanted  to  say 
in  a  good  audible  voice,  put  her  hand  before  her  face,  to  hide  the 
shame  which  was  not  there,  and  make  me  believe  that  she  was  in- 
commoded by  the  delicacy  of  her  own  feelings.  There  was  no 
etanding  such  an  attack ;  and  though  vanity  had  a  larger  share  in 


344  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

ray  surrender  than  tjie  tender  passion,  I  did  not  receive  her  over- 
tures ungraciously.  Nay,  more,  I  presumed  to  overlook  decorum 
in  my  vivacity,  and  acted  the  impatient  lover  so  naturally  as  to  call 
down  a  modest  rebuke  upon  my  freedoms.  Lorenza  chid  my  fond- 
ness, but  with  so  much  fondness  in  her  chidings,  that  while  she 
prescribed  to  me  the  coldness  of  an  anchoret,  it  was  very  evident 
she  would  have  been  miserably  disappointed  if  I  had  taken  her  pre- 
scription. I  should  have  pressed  the  affair  at  once  to  the  natural 
termination  of  all  such  affairs,  if  the  lovely  object  of  my  ardent 
wishes  had  not  been  afraid  of  giving  me  a  left-handed  opinion  of 
her  virtue,  by  abandoning  the  works  before  the  siege  was  regularly 
formed.  This  being  so,  we  parted,  but  with  a  promise  to  meet 
again ;  Sephora  in  the  full  persuasion  that  her  reluctant  resistance 
would  stamp  her  for  a  vestal  in  my  esteem,  and  myself  full  of  the 
sweet  hope  that  the  torments  of  Tantalus  would  soon  be  succeeded 
by  an  elysium  of  enjoyment. 

My  affairs  were  in  this  happy  train,  when  one  of  Don  Csesar's 
under-servants  brought  me  such  a  piece  of  news  as  gave  an  ague 
to  my  raptures.  This  lad  was  one  of  those  inquisitive  inmates  who 
apply  either  an  ear  or  an  eye  to  every  keyhole  in  a  house.  As  he 
paid  his  court  constantly  to  me,  and  served  up  some  fresh  piece  of 
scandal  every  day,  he  came  to  tell  me  one  morning  that  he  had 
made  a  pleasant  discovery,  and  that  he  had  no  objection  to  letting 
me  into  the  fun,  on  condition  that  I  would  not  blab ;  because  Dame 
Lorenza  Sephora  was  the  theme  of  the  joke,  and  he  was  afraid  of 
becoming  obnoxious  to  her  resentment  and  revenge.  I  was  too 
much  interested  in  coming  at  the  story  he  had  to  tell,  not  to  swear 
myself  into  discretion  through  thick  and  thin  ;  but  it  was  necessary 
that  my  motive  should  seem  curiosity,  and  not  personal  concern,  so 
that  I  asked  him,  with  an  air  of  as  much  indifference  as  I  could  put 
on,  what  was  this  mighty  discovery  about  which  he  made  such  a 
piece  of  work.  "Lorenza,"  whispered  he,  "smuggles  the  surgeon 
of  the  village  every  evening  into  her  apartment:  he  is  a  tight  ves- 
sel, well  armed  and  manned  ;  and  the  pirate  generally  stays  pretty 
long  upon  his  cruise.  I  do  not  mean  to  say,"  added  he,  with  super- 
cilious candor,  "  but  all  this  may  be  perfectly  innocent  on  both  sides ; 
but  you  cannot  help  admitting  that  where  a  young  man  does  in- 
sinuate himself  slyly  into  a. girl's  bed-chamber,  he  takes  better  care 
of  his  own  pleasure  than  of  her  reputation." 

Though  this  tale  gave  me  as  much  uneasiness  as  if  I  had  been 
verily  and  romantically  in  love,  I  had  too  much  sense  to  let  him 
know  it ;  but  so  far  stifled  my  feelings  as  to  laugh  heartily  at  a  story 
which  struck  at  the  very  life  of  all  my  hopes.  But  when  no  wit- 
nesses were  by,  I  made  myself  full  amends  for  having  gulped  down 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  345 

my  rising  indignation.  I  blustered  and  stormed,  muttered  blessings 
on  them  the  wrong  way,  and  swore  outright ;  but  all  this  without 
coming  nearer  to  a  decision  on  my  own  conduct.  At  one  time,  holding 
Lorenza  in  utter  contempt,  it  was  my  good  pleasure  to  give  her  up, 
altogether,  without  condescending  so  far  as  to  come  to  any  explana-. 
tion  with  the  coquette.  At  another  time,  laying  it  down  as  a  prin^. 
ciple  that  my  honor  was  concerned  in  making  the  surgeon  an  exr 
ample  to  all  intriguers,  I  spirited  up  my  courage  to  call  him  out. 
Thus  dangerous  valor  prevailed  over  safe  indifference.  At  the 
approach  of  evening  I  placed  myself  in  ambuscade ;  and  sure 
enough,  the  gentleman  did  slink  into  the  temple  of  my  Vesta,  with 
a  fear  of  being  found  out  that  spoke  rather  unfavorably  for  the 
purity  of  his  designs.  Nothing  short  of  this  could  have  kept  ray 
rage  alive  against  the  chilliness  of  the  night  air.  I  immediately 
quitted  the  precincts  of  the  castle,  and  posted  myself  on  the  high 
road,  where  the  gay  deceiver  was  sure  to  be  intercepted  on  his  re- 
turn. I  waited  for  him  with  my  fighting  spirits  on  the  full  boil ; 
my  impatience  increased  with  the  lapse  of  time,  till  Mars  and  Bel- 
lona  seemed  to  inhabit  my  frame,  and  enlarge  it  beyond  human 
dimensions.  At  length  my  antagonist  came  in  sight.  I  took  a  few 
strides,  such  as  bully  Mars  or  Bellona  might  have  taken ;  but  I  do 
not  know  how  the  devil  it  came  to  pass,  my  courage  went  farther  off 
as  my  body  came  nearer ;  my  frame  was  contracted  within  some- 
what less  than  its  human  dimensions,  and  my  heart  felt  exactly  like 
the  heart  of  a  coward.  The  hearts  of  Homer's  heroes  felt  exactly 
the  same,  when  the  dastardly  dogs  were  not  backed  by  a  supernatural 
Drawcansirl  In  short,  I  was  just  as  much  out  of  my  element  as 
ever  Paris  was  when  he  pitted  himself  against  Menelaus  in  single 
combat.  I  began  taking  measure  of  this  operator  in  love,  war  and 
anatomy.  He  appeared  to  be  large  limbed  and  well  knit,  with  a 
sword  by  his  side  of  a  most  abominable  length.  All  this  made  me 
consider  that  the  better  part  of  valor  is  discretion :  nevertheless, 
whether  from  the  superiority  of  mind  over  the  nervous  system  in  a 
case  of  honor,  or  from  whatever  other  cause,  though  the  danger 
grew  bigger  as  the  distance  diminished,  and  in  spite  of  nature, 
which  pleaded  obstinately  that  honor  is  a  mere  scutcheon,  and  can 
neither  set  a  leg  nor  take  away  the  grief  of  a  wound,  I  mustered 
up  boldness  enough  to  march  forward  towards  the  surgeon  sword  in 
hand. 

My  proceeding  seemed  to  him  to  be  of  the  drollest.  "  What  is 
the  matter,  Signor  Gil  Bias  ?"  exclaimed  he.  "  Why  all  this  fire 
and  fury?  You  are  in  a  bantering  mood,  to  all  appearance." 
"No,  good  master  shaver,"  answered  I,  "no  such  thing;  there 
never  was  anything  more  serious  since  Cain  killed  Abel.    I  am 


346  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

determined  to  try  the  experiment  whether  as  little  preparation 
serves  your  turn  in  the  field  of  battle  as  in  a  lady's  chamber.  Hope 
not  that  you  will  be  suffered  to  possess  without  a  rival  -that  heaven 
of  bliss  in  wliich  you  have  been  indulging  but  this  moment  at  the 
castle."  "By  all  the  martyrdoms  we  phlebotomizers  have  ever 
suffered  or  inflicted,"  replied  the  surgeon,  setting  up  a  shout  of 
laughter,  "  this  is  a  most  whimsical  adventure.  As  heaven  is  my 
judge,  appearances  are  very  little  to  be  trusted."  At  this  put-off, 
fancying  that  he  had  no  keener  stomach  for  cold  iron  than  myself, 
I  got  to  be  ten  times  more  overbearing.  "  Teach  your  parrot  to 
speak  better  Spanish,  my  friend,"  interrupted  I ;  "do  you  think  we 
do  not  know  a  hawk  from  a  hernshaw?  Imagine  not  that  the 
simple  denial  of  the  fact  will  settle  the  business."  "  I  see  plainly," 
replied  he,  "  that  I  shall  be  obliged  to  speak  out,  or  some  mischief 
must  happen  either  to  you  or  me.  I  shall  therefore  disclose  a 
secret  to  you,  though  men  in  our  profession  cannot  be  too  much  on 
the  reserve.  If  Dame  Lorenza  sends  for  me  into  her  apartment 
under  suspicious  circumstances,  it  is  only  to  conceal  from  the  ser- 
vants the  knowledge  of  her  malady.  She  has  an  incurable  ulcer  in 
her  back,  which  I  come  every  evening  to  dress.  This  is  the  real 
occasion  of  those  visits. which  disturb  your  peace.  Henceforward, 
rest  assured  that  you  have  her  all  to  yourself.  But  if  you  are  not 
satisfied  with  this  explanation,  and  are  absolutely  bent  on  a  fencing 
match,  you  have  only  to  say  so ;  I  am  not  a  man  to  turn  my  back 
upon  a  game  at  sword-play."  With  these  words  in  his  mouth,  he 
drew  his  long  rapier,  which  made  my  heart  jump  into  my  throat, 
and  stood  upon  his  guard.  "It  is  enough,"  said  I,  putting  my 
sword  up  again  in  its  scabbard ;  "  I  am  not  a  wild  beast,  to  turn  a 
deaf  ear  to  reason  :  after  what  you  have  told  me,  there  is  no  cause 
of  enmity  between  us.  Let  us  shake  hands."  At  this  proposal,  by 
which  he  found  out  that  I  was  not  such  a  devil  of  a  fellow  as  he 
had  taken  me  for,  he  returned  his  weapon  with  a  laugh,  met  my 
advances  to  be  reconciled,  and  we  parted  the  best  friends  in  the 
world. 

From  that  time  forward  Sephora  never  came  into  my  thoughts 
but  with  the  most  disgusting  associations.  I  shunned  all  the 
opportunities  she  gave  me  of  entertaining  her  in  private,  and  this 
with  so  obvious  a  study,  almost  bordering  on  rudeness,  that  she 
could  not  but  notice  it.  Astonished  at  so  sudden  a  reverse,  she 
was  dying  to  know  the  cause,  and  at  length,  finding  the  means  of 
'pinning  me  down  to  a  tete-d-iete,  "  Good  Mr.  Steward,"  said  she, 
"tell  me,  if  so  please  you,  why  you  avoid  the  very  sight  of  me? 
It  is  true  that  I  made  the  first  advances ;  but  then  you  fed  the  con- 
suming fire.    Recall  to  memory,  if  it  is  not  too  great  a  favor,  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  347 

private  interview  we  had  together.  Then  you  were  a  magazine  of 
combustibles,  now  you  are  as  frozen  as  the  north  sea.  What  is  the 
meaning  of  all  this?"  The  question  was  not  a  little  difficult  of 
solution,  for  a  man  unaccustomed  to  the  violence  of  amorous  inter- 
rogatories. The  consequence  was,  that  it  puzzled  me  most  con- 
foundedly. I  do  not  precisely  recollect  the  identical  lie  I  told  the 
lady,  but  I  recollect  perfectly  that  nothing  but  the  truth  could  have 
affronted  her  more  highly.  Sephora,  though  by  her  mincing  air 
and  modest  outside  one  might  have  taken  her  for  a  lamb,  was  a 
tigress  when  the  savage  was  roused  in  her  nature.  "  I  did  think," 
said  she,  darting  a  glance  at  me  full  of  malice  and  hideousness,  "  I 
did  think  to  have  conferred  such  honor  as  was  never  conferred 
before,  on  a  little  scoundrel  like  you,  by  betraying  sentiments  which 
the  first  nobility  in  the  country  would  make  it  their  boast  to  excite. 
Fitly  indeed  am  I  punished  for  having  preposterously  lowered 
myself  to  the  level  of  a  dirty,  snivelling  adventurer." 

That  was  pretty  well ;  but  she  did  not  stop  there :  I  should  have 
come  off  too  cheaply  on  such  terms.  Her  fury  taking  a  long  lease 
of  her  tongue,  that  brawling  instrument  of  discord  rung  a  bob-major 
of  invective,  each  strain  more  clamorous  and  confounding  than  the 
former.  It  certainly  was  my  duty  to  have  received  it  all  with  cool 
indifference,  and  to  have  considered  candidly  that  in  triumphing 
over  female  reserve,  and  then  not  taking  possession  of  the  conquest, 
I  had  committed  that  sin  against  the  sex  which  would  have  trans- 
formed the  most  feminine  of  them  into  a  Sephora.  But  I  was  too 
irritable  to  bear  abuse,  at  which  a  man  of  sense  in  my  place  would 
only  have  laughed ;  and  my  patience  was  at  length  exhausted. 
"Madam,"  said  I,  "  let  us  not  rake  into  each  other's  personal  mis- 
fortunes. If  the  first  nobility  in  the  country  had  only  looked  at 
your  back,  they  would  have  forgotten  all  your  other  charms,  and 
would  have  boasted  but  little  of  the  sentiments  they  had  excited 
you  to  betray."  I  had  no  sooner  laid  in  this  home  stroke,  than  the 
enraged  duenna  visited  me  with  the  hardest  box  on  the  ear  that 
ever  yet  proceeded  from  the  delicate  fingers  of  a  woman  scorned. 
Such  favors  might  pall  on  repetition  ;  so  I  did  not  wait  for  a  second, 
but  took  shelter  in  the  nimbleness  of  my  legs  from  the  clatter  of 
castigation  she  was  going  to  shower  down  on  me. 

I  returned  thanks  to  the  protecting  powers  for  having  brought 
me  clear  off  from  this  unequal  encounter,  and  fancied  that  I  had 
nothing  further  to  apprehend,  since  the  lady  had  taken  corporal 
vengeance.  It  was  likely,  too,  that  she  would  be  wise  and  hold  her 
tongue,  for  the  honor  of  her  own  back ;  and,  in  point  of  fact,  a  full 
fortnight  had  elapsed  without  my  hearing  a  word  upon  the  subject. 
The  very  tingling  in  my  own  cheek  began  to  abate,  when  I  was 


848  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

told  that  Sephora  was  taken  ill.  With  that  forgiveness  of  injuries 
so  natural  to  me,  I  was  sincerely  afflicted  at  the  news.  I  really  felt 
for  the  poor  lady.  I  concluded  that,  unable  to  contend  with  a 
passion  so  ill  repaid,  that  hapless  victim  of  her  own  tenderness  was 
giving  up  the  ghost.  It  was  with  exquisite  pain  that  I  turned  this 
subject  in  my  thoughts.  I  was  the  cruel  cause  that  her  heart  was 
breaking;  and  my  pity,  at  least,  was  the  duenna's,  though  love  is 
too  wayward  to  be  controlled  by  advice.  But  I  was  miserably  mis- 
taken in  her  nature.  Her  tenderness  had  all  curdled  into  acri- 
monious hatred ;  and  at  that  very  moment  was  she  plotting  to  be 
my  bane. 

One  morning,  while  I  was  with  Don  Alphonso,  that  amiable 
young  master  of  mine  seemed  absent,  moody,  and  out  of  spirits.  I 
inquired  respectfully  what  was  the  matter.  "  I  am  vexed  to  the 
soul,"  said  he,  "  to  find  Seraphina  weak,  unjust,  ungrateful.  You 
are  not  a  little  surprised  at  this,"  added  he,  remarking  the  expres- 
sion of  astonishment  with  which  I  heard  him;  "yet  nothing  is 
more  strictly  and  lamentably  true.  I  know  not  what  reason  you 
have  given  Dame  Lorenza  to  be  at  variance  with  you  ;  but  true  it 
is,  you  are  become  so  unbearably  hateful  to  her,  that  if  you  do  not 
get  out  of  this  castle  as  soon  as  possible,  her  death,  she  says,  must 
be  the  sure  consequence.  You  cannot  but  suppose  that  Seraphina, 
who  knows  your  value,  used  all  her  influence  at  first  against  a  pre- 
judice to  which  she  could  not  administer  without  injustice  and  in- 
gratitude. But  though  the  best  of  women,  she  is  still  a  woman. 
Sephora  brought  her  up,  and  she  loves  her  like  a  mother.  Should 
her  old  nurse  die  shortly,  she  would  fancy  she  had  her  death  to 
answer  for,  had  she  refused  herself  to  any  of  her  whims.  For  my 
own  part,  with  all  my  affection  towards  Seraphina, — and  it  is  none 
of  the  weake<«t, — I  will  never  be  guilty  of  so  mean  a  compliance  as 
to  side  with  her  on  this  question.  Perish  our  duennas !  perish  the 
whole  system  of  our  Spanish  vigilance  !  but  never  let  me  consent  to 
the  banishment  of  a  young  man  whom  I  look  upon  rather  as  a 
brother  than  a  servant !" 

When  Don  Alphonso  had  thus  expressed  his  sentiments,  I  said  to 
him,  "My  good  sir,  I  am  born  to  be  the  mere  whipping-top  of  For- 
tune. It  had  been  my  hope  that  she  would  leave  off  persecuting  me 
when  under  your  roof,  where  everything  held  out  to  me  happy  days 
and  an  unruffled  life.  Now,  the  part  for  honor  to  take  is  to  tear 
myself  away,  whatever  hankering  I  may  feel  after  my  continuance." 
"  No,  no,"  exclaimed  the  generous  son  of  Don  Caesar.  "  Leave  me 
to  bring  Seraphina  to  a  proper  vieW  of  things.  It  shall  never  be 
said  that  you  are  sacrificed  to  the  caprices  of  a  duenna,  who,  on 
every  occasion,  has  but  too  much  influence  over  the  family."    "  All 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS,  349 

you  will  get  by  it,  sir,"  replied  I,  "  will  only  be  to  put  Seraphina  in 
an  ill  humor  by  opposing  her  wishes.  I  had  much  rather  withdraw 
than  run  the  risk,  by  a  longer  abode  here,  of  sowing  division  between 
a  married  pair,  who  are  a  model  of  conjugal  felicity.  Such  a  con- 
sequence of  my  unhappy  quarrel  would  make  me  miserable  for  the 
remainder  of  my  days." 

Don  Alphonso  absolutely  forbade  me  to  take  any  hasty  step ;  and 
I  found  him  so  determined  in  the  intention  of  standing  by  me,  that 
Lorenza  must  infallibly  have  been  thrown  into  the  background  if  I 
had  chosen  to  have  stood  an  election  against  her.  There  were  mo- 
ments when,  exasperated  against  the  duenna,  I  was  tempted  to  keep 
no  measures  with  her  ;  but  when  I  came  to  consider  that  to  unravel 
this  surgical  mystery  would  be  to  plunge  a  dagger  into  the  heartjof 
a  poor  creature,  whose  curse  had  been  my  fastidious  prejudice 
against  an  ulcerated  back,  and  whom  a  physical  and  mental  misfor- 
tune were  conjointly  handing  down  to  the  grave,  I  lost  all  feeling 
but  that  of  compassion  towards  her.  It  was  evident,  since  I  was  so 
portentous  a  phenomenon,  that  it  was  ray  imperious  duty  to  reestab- 
lish the  tranquillity  of  the  castle  by  my  absence;  and  that  duty  I 
performed  the  next  morning  before  daybreak,  without  taking  any 
leave  of  my  two  masters,  for  fear  they  should  oppose  my  departure 
from  a  misplaced  partiality  towards  me.  My  only  notice  was  to 
leave  behind  in  my  chamber  a  memorial  containing  an  exact  ac- 
count of  my  receipts  and  disbursements  during  the  time  of  my 
Btewardship. 


CHAPTER   II. 

WHAT  HAPPENKD  TO  GIL  BLAS  AFTER  HIS  RETREAT  FROM  THE  CASTLE 

OF  LEYVA. 

I  WAS  mounted  on  a  good  horse,  my  own  property,  and  was  the 
bearer  of  two  hundred  pistoles,  the  greater  part  of  which  arose 
from  the  plunder  of  the  vanquished  banditti,  and  the  forfeiture  of 
Samuel  Simon  by  the  Inquisition ;  for  Don  Alphonso,  without  re- 
quiring me  to  account  for  any  part  of  the  said  forfeiture,  had  made 
restitution  of  the  entire  sum  out  of  his  own  funds.  Thus,  consider- 
ing my  effects,  however  obtained,  as  converted  into  lawful  property 
by  a  sort  of  vicarious  sponsorship,  I  took  them  into  my  good  graces 
without  any  remorse  of  conscience.  An  estate  like  this  rendered 
it  absurd  to  throw  away  any  thought  about  the  future ;  and  a  cer- 


860  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

tain  likelihood  of  doing  well,  which  always  hangs  about  a  young 
niiui  at  my  age,  held  out  an  additional  security  against  the  caprices 
of  fortune.  Besides,  Toledo  offered  me  a  retreat  exactly  to  my  mind. 
Tiiere  could  not  be  a  doubt  but  the  Count  de  Polan  would  take  a 
pleasure  in  giving  a  kind  reception  to  one  of  his  deliverers,  and 
would  insist  on  his  accepting  an  apartment  in  his  own  house.  But 
I  only  looked  upon  this  nobleman  as  a  very  distant  resource ;  and 
determined,  before  laying  any  tax  on  his  grateful  recollection,  to 
spend  part  of  my  ready  cash  in  travelling  over  the  provinces  of 
Murcia  and  Granada,  which  I  had  a  very  particular  inclination  to 
see.  With  this  intention  I  took  the  Almanza  road,  and  afterwards, 
following  the  route  chalked  out,  travelled  from  town  to  town  as  far 
as.  the  city  of  Granada,  without  stumbling  on  any  sinister  occur- 
rence. It  should  seem  as  if  Fortune,  wearied  out  with  the  school- 
girl's tricks  she  had  been  playing  me,  was  contented  at  last  to  leave 
me  as  she  found  me.  But  she  still  had  her  skittish  designs  upon  me, 
as  will  be  seen  in  the  sequel. 

One  of  the  first  persons  I  met  in  the  streets  of  Granada  was  Signer 
Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva,  son-in-law,  as  well  as  Don  Alphonso,  of 
the  Count  de  Polan.  We  were  both  of  us  equally  surprised  at  meet- 
ing so  far  from  home.  "How  is  this,  Gil  Bias?"  exclaimed  he — 
"to  find  you  in  this  city!  What  the  devil  brings  you  hither?" 
"Sir,"  said  I,  "if  you  are  astonished  at  seeing  me  in  this  country, 
you  will  be  ten  times  more  so  when  you  shall  know  why  I  have 
quitted  the  service  of  Signor  Don  Caesar  and  his  son,"  Then  I  re- 
counted to  him  all  that  had  passed  between  Sephora  and  myself, 
without  garbling  the  facts  in  any  particular.  He  laughed  heartily 
at  the  recital ;  then,  recovering  his  gravity,  "  My  friend,"  said  he, 
"  my  mediation  is  at  your  service  in  this  affair.  I  will  write  to  my 
sister-in-law."  ..."  No,  no,  sir,"  interrupted  I,  "  do  not  write  upon 
the  subject,  I  beseech  you.  I  did  not  quit  the  castle  of  Leyva  to  go 
back  again.  You  may,  if  you  please,  make  another  use  of  the  kind- 
ness you  have  expressed  for  me.  If  any  of  your  friends  should  be 
looking  out  for  a  secretary  or  a  steward,  I  should  be  much  obliged 
to  you  to  speak  a  good  word  in  my  favor.  I  will  take  upon  me  to 
assure  you  that  you  will  never  be  reproached  with  recommending 
an  improper  object."  "  You  have  only  to  command  me,"  answered 
he ;  "I  will  do  whatever  you  desire.  My  business  at  Granada  is  to 
visit  an  old  aunt  in  an  ill  state  of  health.  I  shall  be  here  three 
weeks  longer,  after  which  I  shall  set  out  on  my  return  to  my  castle 
of  Lorqui,  where  I  liave  left  Julia.  That  is  my  lodging,"  added  he, 
showing  me  a  house  about  a  hundred  yards  from  us.  "  Call  upon 
me  in  a  few  days ;  probably  I  may  by  that  time  have  hit  upon  some 
eligible  appointment." 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  351 

And,  in  fact,  so  it  was ;  for  the  very  first  time  that  we  came 
together  again,  he  said  to  me,  "  My  Lord  Archbishop  of  Granada, 
my  relation  and  friend,  is  in  want  of  a  young  man  with  some  little 
tinge  of  literature,  who  can  write  a  good  hand  and  make  fair  copies 
of  his  manuscripts,  for  he  is  a  great  author.  He  has  composed  I 
know  not  how  many  homilies,  and  still  goes  on  composing  more 
every  day,  which  he  delivers  to  the  high  edification  of  his  audience. 
As  you  seem  to  be  just  the  thing  for  him,  I  have  mentioned  your 
name,  and  he  has  promised  to  take  you.  Go,  and  make  your  bow 
to  him  as  from  me ;  you  will  judge,  by  his  reception  of  you,  whether 
my  recommendation  has  been  couched  in  handsome  terms." 

The  situation  was,  to  all  appearance,  exactly  what  I  should  have 
picked  out  for  myself.  That  being  the  case,  with  such  an  arrange- 
ment of  my  air  and  person  as  seemed  most  likely  to  square  with  the 
ideas  of  a  reverend  prelate,  I  presented  myself  one  morning  before 
the  archbishop.  If  this  were  a  gorgeous  romance,  and  not  a  grave 
history,  here  might  we  introduce  a  pompous  description  of  the  epis- 
copal palace,  with  architectural  digressions  on  the  structure  of  the 
building  ;  here  would  be  the  place  to  expatiate  on  the  costliness  of 
the  furniture  like  an  upholsterer,  to  criticise  the  statues  and  pictures 
like  a  connoisseur ;  and  the  pictures  themselves  would  be  nothing 
to  the  uninformed  reader  without  the  stories  they  represent,  till  uni- 
versal history,  fabulous  and  authentic,  sacred  and  profane,  should 
be  pressed  into  the  service.  But  I  shall  content  myself  with  mod- 
estly stating  that  the  royal  palace  itself  is  scarcely  superior  in 
magnificence. 

Throughout  the  suite  of  apartments,  there  was  a  complete  mob  of 
ecclesiastics  and  other  oflBcers,  consisting  of  chaplains,  ushers,  upper 
and  menial  servants.  Those  of  them  who  were  laymen  were  most 
superbly  attired ;  one  would  sooner  have  taken  them  for  temporal 
nobility  than  for  spiritual  under-strappers.  They  were  as  proud  as 
the  devil,  and  gave  themselves  intolerably  consequential  airs.  I 
could  not  help  laughing  in  my  sleeve,  when  I  considered  who  and 
what  they  were,  and  how  they  behaved.  "  Set  a  beggar  on  horse- 
back !"  said  I,  "  These  gentry  are  in  luck  to  carry  a  pack  without 
feeling  the  drag  of  it,  for  surely  if  they  knew  they  were  beasts  of 
burden,  they  would  not  jingle  their  bells  with  so  high  a  toss  of  the 
head."  I  ventured  just  to  speak  to  a  grave  and  portly  personage 
who  stood  sentinel  at  the  door  of  the  archbishop's  closet,  to  turn  it 
upon  its  hinges  as  occasion  might  require.  I  asked  him  civilly  if 
there  was  no  possibility  of  speaking  with  my  lord  archbishop. 
"Stop  a  little,"  said  he,  with  a  supercilious  demeanor  and  repulsive 
tone ;  "  his  grace  will  shortly  come  forth,  to  go  and  hear  mass ;  you 
may  snatch  an  audience  for  a  moment  as  he  passes  on."   I  answered 


852  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

not  a  single  syllable.  Patience  was  all  I  had  for  it ;  and  it  even 
seemed  advisable  to  try  and  enter  into  conversation  with  some  of 
the  jacks  in  office ;  but  they  began  conning  me  over  from  the  sole  of 
my  foot  to  the  crown  of  my  head,  without  condescending  to  favor  me 
with  a  single  interjection  ;  after  which  they  winked  at  one  another, 
whispered,  and  looked  out  at  the  corners  of  their  eyes,  in  derision 
of  the  liberty  I  had  assumed,  by  intruding  upon  their  select  society. 

I  felt — more  fool  that  I  did  so — quite  out  of  countenance  at  such 
cavalier  treatment  from  a  knot  of  state  footmen.  My  confusion  was 
but  beginning  to  subside,  when  the  closet  door  opened.  The  arch- 
bishop made  his  appearance.  A  profound  silence  immediately  en- 
sued among  his  officers,  who  quitted  at  once  their  insolent  behavior, 
to  adopt  a  more  respectful  style  before  their  master.  That  prelate 
was  in  his  sixty-ninth  year,  formed  nearly  on  the  model  of  my 
uncle,  Gil  Perez,  the  canon,  which  is  as  much  as  to  say,  as  broad 
as  he  was  long.  But  the  highest  dignitaries  should  always  be  the 
most  amply  gifted ;  accordingly  his  legs  bowed  inwards  to  the  very 
extremity  of  the  graceful  curve,  and  his  bald  head  retained  but  a 
single  lock  behind,  so  that  he  was  obliged  to  ensconce  his  pericra- 
nium in  a  fine  woollen  cap  with  long  ears.  In  spite  of  all  this,  I 
espied  the  man  of  quality  in  his  deportment,  doubtless  because  I 
knew  that  he  actually  happened  to  be  one.  We  common  fellows, 
the  fungous  growth  of  the  human  dunghill,  look  up  to  great  lords 
with  a  facility  of  being  overawed,  which  oftcH  furnishes  them  with 
a  Benjamin's  mess  of  importance  when  nature  has  denied  even  the 
most  scanty  and  trivial  gifts. 

The  archbishop  moved  towards  me  in  a  minuet  step,  and  kindly 
inquired  what  I  wanted.  I  told  him  I  was  the  young  man  about  whom 
Signor  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva  had  spoken  to  him.  He  did  not 
give  me  a  moment  to  go  on  with  my  story.  "  Ah  !  is  it  you?"  ex- 
claimed he;  "  is  it  you  of  whom  so  fine  a  character  has  been  given 
me?  I  take  you  into  my  service  at  once;  you  are  a  mine  of  lite- 
rary utility  to  me.  You  have  only  to  take  up  your  abode  here." 
Talking  thus  condescendingly,  he  supported  himself  between  two 
ushers,  and  moved  onwards,  after  having  given  audience  to  some 
of  his  clergy,  who  had  ecclesiastical  business  to  communicate.  He 
was  scarcely  out  of  the  room  when  the  same  officers  who  had  turned 
upon  their  heel  were  now  cap  in  hand  to  court  my  conversation. 
Here  the  rascals  are  pressing  round  me,  currying  favor,  and  express- 
ing their  sincere  joy  at  seeing  me  become  as  it  were  an  heirloom  of 
the  archbishopric.  They  had  heard  what  their  master  had  said, 
and  were  dying  with  anxiety  to  know  on  what  footing  I  was  to  be 
about  him  ;  but  I  had  the  ill  nature  not  to  satisfy  their  curiosity,  in 
revenge  for  their  contempt. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  358 

My  lord  archbishop  was  not  long  before  he  returned.  He  took  me 
with  him  into  his  closet  for  a  little  private  conference.  I  could  not 
but  suppose  that  he  meant  to  fathom  the  depth  of  my  understand- 
ing. I  was  accordingly  on  my  guard,  and  prepared  to  measure  out 
my  words  most  methodically.  He  questioned  me  first  in  the 
classics.  My  answers  were  not  amiss  ;  he  was  convinced  that  I  had 
more  than  a  schoolboy's  acquaintance  with  the  Greek  and  Latin 
writers ;  he  examined  me  next  in  logic ;  nor  could  I  but  suppose 
that  he  would  examine  me  in  logic.  He  found  me  strong  enough 
there.  "  Your  education,"  said  he,  with  some  degree  of  surprise, 
"  has  not  been  neglected.  Now  let  me  see  your  handwriting."  I 
took  a  blank  piece  of  paper  out  of  my  pocket,  which  I  had  brought 
for  the  purpose.  My  ghostly  father  was  not  displeased  with  my 
performance.  "  I  am  very  well  satisfied  with  the  mechanical  part 
of  your  qualifications,"  exclaimed  he,  "  and  still  more  so  with  the 
powers  of  your  mind.  I  shall  thank  my  nephew,  Don  Ferdinand, 
most  heartily  for  having  sent  me  so  fine  a  lad  ;  it  is  absolutely  a  gift 
from  above." 

We  were  interrupted  by  some  of  the  neighboring  gentry,  who 
were  come  to  dine  with  the  archbishop.  I  left  them  together,  and 
withdrew  to  the  second  table,  where  the  whole  household,  with  one 
consent,  insisted  on  giving  me  the  upper  hand.  Dinner  is  a  busy 
time  at  an  episcopal  ordinary ;  and  yet  we  snatched  a  moment  to 
make  our  observations  on  each  other.  What  a  mortified  propriety 
was  painted  on  the  outside  of  the  clergy  !  They  had  all  the  look  of 
a  deputation  from  a  better  world.  Strange  to  think  how  place  and 
circumstance  impose  on  the  deluded  sense  of  men !  It  never  once 
came  into  my  thoughts  that  all  this  sanctity  might  possibly  be  a 
false  coin,— just  as  if  there  could  be  nothing  but  what  appertained 
to  the  kingdom  above  among  the  successors  of  the  apostles  on 
earth. 

I  was  seated  by  the  side  of  an  old  valet-de-chambre,  by  name 
Melchior  de  la  Eonda.  He  took  care  to  help  me  to  all  the  nice 
bits.  His  attentions  were  not  lost  upon  me,  and  my  good  manners 
quite  enraptured  him.  "  My  worthy  sir,"  said  he,  in  a  low  voice, 
"  after  dinner  I  should  like  to  have  a  little-  private  talk  with  you." 
At  the  same  time  he  led  the  way  to  a  part  of  the  palace  where  we 
could  not  be  overheard,  and  there  addressed  me  as  follows :  "  My 
son,  from  the  very  first  instant  that  I  saw  you,  I  felt  a  certain  pre- 
possession in  your  favor.  Of  this  I  will  give  you  a  certain  proof,  by 
communicating  in  confidence  what  will  be  of  great  service  to  you. 
You  are  here  in  a  family  where  true  believers  and  painted  hypocrites 
are  playing  at  cross  purposes  against  each  other.  It  would  take  an 
antediluvian  age  to  feel  the  ground  under  your  feet.  I  will  spare 
23 


864  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

you  so  long  and  so  disgusting  a  study  by  letting  you  into  the  char- 
acters on  both  sides.  After  this,  if  you  do  not  play  your  cards,  it 
is  your  own  fault. 

"  I  shall  begin  with  his  grace.  He  is  a  very  pious  prelate,  em- 
ployed without  ceasing  in  the  instruction  of  the  people,  whom  he 
brings  back  to  virtue,  like  sheep  gone  astray,  by  sermons  full  of 
excellent  morality,  and  written  by  himself.  He  has  retired  from 
court  these  twenty  years,  to  watch  over  his  flock  with  the  zeal  of  an 
afl'ectionate  pastor.  He  is  a  very  learned  person,  and  a  very  im- 
pressive declaimer ;  his  whole  delight  is  in  preaching,  and  his  con- 
gregation take  care  he  should  know  that  their  whole  delight  is  in 
hearing  him.  There  may  possibly  be  some  little  leaven  of  vanity 
in  all  this  heavenly-mindedness ;  but,  besides  that  it  is  not  for 
human  fallibility  to  search  the  heart,  it  would  ill  become  me  to 
rake  into  the  faults  of  a  person  whose  bread  I  eat.  Were  it  decent 
to  lay  my  finger  on  anything  unbecoming  in  my  master,  I  should 
discommend  his  starchness.  Instead  of  exercising  forbearance 
towards  frail  churchmen,  he  visits  every  peccadillo  as  if  it  were  a 
heinous  offence.  Above  all,  he  prosecutes  those  with  the  utmost 
rigor  of  the  spiritual  court  who,  wrapping  themselves  up  in  their 
innocence,  appeal  to  the  canons  for  their  justification,  in  bar  of  his 
despotic  authority.  There  is,  besides,  another  awkward  trait  in  his 
character,  common  to  him,  with  many  other  people  of  high  rank. 
Though  he  is  very  fond  of  the  people  about  him,  he  pays  not  the 
least  attention  to  their  services,  but  lets  them  sink  into  years  with- 
out a  moment's  thought  about  securing  them  any  provision.  If  at 
any  time  he  makes  them  any  little  presents,  they  may  thank  the 
goodness  of  some  one  who  shall  have  spoken  up  in  their  behalf:  he 
would  never  have  his  wits  enough  about  him  to  do  the  slightest 
thing  for  them  as  a  volunteer." 

This  is  just  what  the  old  valet-de-chambre  told  me  of  his  master. 
Next,  he  let  me  into  what  he  thought  of  the  clergymen  with  whom 
we  had  dined.  His  portraits  might  be  likenesses;  but  they  were 
,too  hard-featured  to  be  owned  by  the  originals.  It  must  be  admitted, 
however,  that  he  did  not  represent  them  as  honest  men,  but  only  as 
very  scandalous  priests.  Nevertheless,  he  made  some  exceptions, 
and  was  as  loud  in  their  praises  as  in  his  censure  of  the  others.  I 
was  no  longer  at  any  loss  how  to  play  my  part  so  as  to  put  myself 
on  an  equal  footing  with  these  gentry.  That  very  evening,  at  sup- 
per, I  took  a  leaf  out  of  their  book,  and  arrayed  myself  in  the  con- 
venient vesture  of  a  wise  and  prudent  outside.  A  clothing  of  hu- 
mility and  sanctification  costs  nothing.  Indeed  it  offers  such  a 
premium  to  the  wearer,  that  we  are  not  to  wonder  if  this  world 
abounds  in  a  description  of  people  called  hypocrites. 


ALVENTVBES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  355 


CHAPTER  III. 

GIL  BLAS  BECOMES  THE   ARCHBISHOP'S   FAVOKITE,  AND  THE  CHANNEL 
OF  ALL  HIS  FAVORS. 

I  HAD  been  after  dinner  to  get  together  my  baggage,  and  take 
my  horse  from  the  inn  where  I  had  put  up,  and  afterwards  re- 
turned to  supper  at  the  archbishop's  palace,  where  a  neatly-furnished 
room  was  got  ready  for  me,  and  such  a  bed  as  was  more  likely  to 
pamper  than  to  mortify  the  flesh.  The  day  following,  his  grace 
sent  for  me  quite  as  soon  as  I  was  ready  to  go  to  him.  It  was  to 
give  me  a  homily  to  transcribe.  He  made  a  point  of  having  it 
copied  with  all  possible  accuracy.  It  was  done  to  please  him  ;  for 
I  omitted  neither  accent,  nor  comma,  nor  the  minutest  tittle  of  all 
he  had  marked  down.  His  satisfaction  at  o"bserving  this  was  height- 
ened by  its  being  unexpected.  "  Eternal  Father !"  exclaimed  he  in 
a  holy  rapture,  when  he  had  glanced  his  eye  over  all  the  folios  of 
my  copy,  "was  ever  anything  seen  so  correct?  You  are  too  good  a 
transcriber  not  to  have  some  little  smattering  of  the  grammarian. 
Now  tell  me  with  the  freedom  of  a  friend  :  in  writing  it  over,  have 
you  been  struck  with  nothing  that  grated  upon  your  feelings  ?  Some 
little  careless  idiom,  or  some  word  used  in  an  improper  sense?" 
"  0  I  may  it  please  your  grace,"  answered  I  with  a  modest  air,  "  it 
is  not  for  me,  with  my  confined  education  and  coarse  taste,  to  aim 
at  making  critical  remarks.  And  though  ever  so  well  qualified,  I 
am  satisfied  that  your  grace's  works  would  come  out  pure  from  the 
essay."  The  successor  of  the  apostles  smiled  at  my  answer.  He 
made  no  observation  on  it ;  but  it  was  very  easy  to  perceive,  not- 
withstanding all  his  professions  of  piety,  that  he  was  an  arrant 
author  at  the  bottom:  there  is  something  in  that  dye  that  not 
Heaven  itself  can  wash  out. 

I  seemed  to  have  purchased  the  fee-simple  of  his  good  graces  by 
my  flattery.  Day  after  day  did  I  get  a  step  farther  in  his  esteem ; 
and  Don  Ferdinand,  who  came  to  see  him  very  often,  told  me  my 
footing  was  so  firm,  that  there  could  not  be  a  doubt  but  my  fortune 
was  made.  Of  this  my  master  himself  gave  me  a  proof  some  little 
time  afterwards ;  and  the  occasion  was  as  follows :  one  evening  in 
his  closet  he  rehearsed  before  me,  with  appropriate  emphasis  and 
action,  a  homily  which  he  was  to  deliver  the  next  day  in  the  cathe- 
dral. He  did  not  content  himself  with  asking  what  I  thought  of  it 
in  the  gross,  but  insisted  on  my  telling  him  what  passages  struck 
me  most.  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  pick  out  those  which  were 
nearest  to  his  own  taste,  his  favorite  commonplaces.    Thus,  as  luck 


356  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

would  have  it,  I  passed  in  his  estimation  for  a  man  who  had  a  quick 
and  natural  relish  of  the  real  and  less  obvious  beauties  in  a  work. 
"This,  indeed,"  exclaimed  he,  "is  what  you  may  call  having  dis- 
cernment and  feeling  in  perfection  1  Well,  well,  my  friend  1  it  can- 
not be  said  of  you, 

'  Boeotlim  in  crasso  Jurares  aere  natum.' 

In  a  word  he  was  so  highly  pleased  with  me,  as  to  add,  in  a  tone  of 
extraordinary  emotion,  "  Never  mind,  Gil  Bias  I  henceforward  take 
no  care  about  hereafter :  I  shall  make  it  my  business  to  place  you 
among  the  favored  children  of  my  bounty.  You  have  my  best 
wishes ;  and  to  prove  to  you  that  you  have  them,  I  shall  take  you 
into  my  inmost  confidence." 

These  words  were  no  sooner  out  of  his  mouth,  than  I  fell  at  his 
grace's  feet,  quite  overwhelmed  with  gratitude.  I  embraced  his 
elliptical  legs  with  almost  pagan  idolatry,  and  considered  myself  as 
a  man  on  the  high  road  to  a  very  handsome  fortune.  "  Yes,  my 
child,"  resumed  the  archbishop,  whose  speech  had  been  cut  short  by 
the  rapidity  of  my  prostration,  "  I  mean  to  make  you  the  receiver- 
general  of  all  my  inmost  ruminations.  Hearken  attentively  to  what 
I  am  going  to  say.  I  have  a  great  pleasure  in  preaching.  The 
Lord  sheds  a  blessing  on  my  homilies ;  they  sink  deep  into  the 
hearts  of  sinners ;  set  up  a  glass  in  which  vice  sees  its  own  image, 
and  bring  back  many  from  the  paths  of  error  into  the  high  road  of 
repentance.  What  a  heavenly  sight,  when  a  miser,  scared  at  the 
hideous  picture  drawn  by  my  eloquence  of  Tiis  avarice,  opens  his 
coffers  to  the  poor  and  needy,  and  dispenses  the  accumulated  store 
with  a  liberal  hand  I  The  voluptuary,  too,  is  snatched  from  the 
pleasures  of  the  table;  ambition  flies  at  my  command  to  the  whole- 
some discipline  of  the  monastic  cell ;  while  female  frailty,  tottering 
on  the  brink  of  ruin,  with  one  ear  open  to  the  siren  voice  of  the 
seducer,  and  the  other  to  my  saintly  correctives,  is  restored  to  do- 
mestic happiness  and  the  approving  smile  of  Heaven,  by  the  timely 
warnings  of  the  pulpit.  These  miraculous  conversions,  which  hap- 
pen almost  every  Sunday,  ought  of  themselves  to  goad  me  on  in  the 
career  of  saving  souls.  Nevertheless,  to  conceal  no  part  of  my  weak- 
ness from  my  monitor,  there  is  another  reward  on  which  my  heart 
18  intent,  a  reward  which  the  seraphic  scrupulousness  of  my  virtue 
to  httle  purpose  condemns  as  too  carnal— a  literary  reputation  for  a 
sublime  and  elegant  style.  The  honor  of  being  handed  down  to 
posterity  as  a  perfect  pulpit  orator  has  its  irresistible  attractions. 
My  compositions  are  generally  thought  to  be  equally  powerful  and 
persuasive ;  but  I  could  wish  of  all  things  to  steer  clear  of  the  rock 
on  which  good  authors  split,  who  are  too  long  before  the  public, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  357 

and  to  retire  from  professional  life  with  my  reputation  in  undi- 
minished lustre. 

"  To  this  end,  my  dear  Gil  Bias,"  continued  the  prelate,  "  there 
is  one  thing  requisite  from  your  zeal  and  friendship.  Whenever  it 
shall  strike  you  that  my  pen  begins  to  contract,  as  it  were,  the  ossi- 
fication of  old  age,  whenever  you  see  my  genius  in  its  climacteric, 
do  not  fail  to  give  me  a  hint.  There  is  no  trusting  to  one's  self  in 
such  a  case ;  pride  and  conceit  were  the  original  sin  of  man.  The 
probe  of  criticism  must  be  intrusted  to  an  impartial  stander-by,  of 
fine  talents  and  unshaken  probity.  Both  those  requisites  centre  in 
you ;  you  are  my  choice,  and  I  give  myself  up  to  your  direction." 
"  Heaven  be  praised,  my  lord,"  said  I,  "  there  is  no  need  to  trouble 
yourself  with  any  such  thoughts  yet.  Besides,  an  understanding  of 
your  grace's  mould  and  calibre  will  last  out  double  the  time  of  a 
common  genius ;  or,  to  speak  with  more  certainty  and  truth,  it  will 
never  be  the  worse  for  wear,  if  you  live  to  the  age  of  Methuselah. 
I  consider  you  as  a  second  Cardinal  Ximenes,  whose  powers,  superior 
to  decay,  instead  of  flagging  with  years,  seem  to  derive  new  vigor 
from  their  approximation  with  the  heavenly  regions."  "  No  flattery, 
my  friend  I"  interrupted  he.  "  I  know  myself  to  be  in  danger  of 
failing  all  at  once.  At  my  age  one  begins  to  be  sensible  of  in- 
firmities, and  those  of  the  body  communicate  with  the  mind.  I 
repeat  it  to  you,  Gil  Blasy  as  soon  as  you  shall  be  of  opinion  that 
my  head  is  not  so  clear  as  usual,  give  me  warning  of  it  instantly. 
Do  not  be  afraid  of  ofiending  by  frankness  and  sincerity :  to  put  me 
in  mind  of  my  own  frailty  will  be  the  strongest  proof  of  your  affec- 
tion for  me.  Besides,  your  very  interest  is  concerned  in  it,  for  if  it 
should,  by  any  spite  of  chance  towards  you,  come  to  my  ears  that 
the  people  say  in  town,  '  His  grace's  sermons  produce  no  longer 
their  accustomed  impression ;  it  is  time  for  him  to  abandon  his 
pulpit  to  younger  candidates,'  I  d(J  assure  you,  most  seriously  and 
solemnly,  you  will  lose  not  only  my  friendship,  but  the  provision 
for  life  that  I  have  promised  you.  Such  will  be  the  result  of  your 
silly  tampering  with  truth." 

Here  my  patron  left  ofif  to  wait  for  my  answer,  which  was  an 
echo  of  his  speech,  and  a  promise  of  obeying  him  in  all  things. 
From  that  moment  there  were  no  secrets  from  me ;  I  became  the 
prime  favorite.  All  the  household,  except  Melchior  de  la  Ronda, 
looked  at  me  with  an  eye  of  envy.  It  was  curious  to  observe  the 
manner  in  which  the  whole  establishment,  from  the  highest  to  the 
lowest,  thought  it  necessary  to  demean  themselves  towards  his 
grace's  confidential  secretary;  there  was  no  meanness  to  which  they 
would  not  stoop  to  curry  favor  with  me ;  I  could  scarcely  believe 
they  were  Spaniards.    I  left  no  stone  unturned  to  be  of  service  to 


358  ,  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

them,  without  being  taken  in  by  their  interested  assiduities.  My 
lord  archbishop,  at  my  entreaty,  took  them  by  the  hand.  He  got 
a  company  for  one,  and  fitted  him  out  so  as  to  make  a  handsome 
figure  in  the  army.  Another  he  sent  to  Mexico,  with  a  consider- 
able appointment  which  he  procured  him ;  and  I  obtained  a  good 
slice  of  his  bounty  for  my  friend  Melchior.  It  was  evident,  from 
these  facts,  that  if  the  prelate  was  not  particularly  active  in  good 
works,  at  least  he  rarely  gave  a  churlish  refusal,  when  any  one  had 
the  courage  to  importune  him  for  his  benevolence. 

But  what  I  did  for  a  priest  seems  to  deserve  being  noticed  more 
at  large.  One  day  a  certain  licentiate,  by  name  Lewis  Garcias,  a 
well-looking  man  still  in  the  prime  of  life,  was  presented  to  me  by 
our  steward,  who  said,  "  Signor  Gil  Bias,  in  this  honest  ecclesiastic 
you  behold  one  of  my  best  friends.  He  was  formerly  chaplain  to  a 
nunnery.  Scandal  has  taken  a  few  liberties  with  his  chastity. 
Malicious  stories  have  been  trumped  up  to  hurt  him  in  my  lord 
archbishop's  opinion,  who  has  suspended  him,  and  unfortunately  is 
so  strongly  prejudiced  by  his  enemies,  as  to  be  deaf  to  any  petition 
in  his  favor.  In  vain  have  we  interested  the  first  people  in  Granada 
to  get  him  reestablished  ;  our  master  will  not  hear  of  it." 

"  These  first  people  in  Granada,"  said  I,  "  have  gone  the  wrong 
way  to  work.  It  would  have  been  much  better  if  no  interest  at  all 
had  been  made  for  the  reverend  licentiate.  People  have  only  done 
him  a  mischief  by  endeavoring  to  serve  him.  I  know  my  lord 
archbishop  thoroughly ;  entreaties  and  importunate  recommenda- 
tions do  but  aggravate  the  ill  condition  of  a  clergj-man  who  lies 
under  his  displeasure ;  it  is  but  a  very  short  time  ago  since  I  heard 
him  mutter  the  following  sentiment  to  himself,  'The  more  persons 
a  priest,  who  has  been  guilty  of  any  misconduct,  engages  to  speak 
to  me  in  his  behalf,  the  more  widely  is  the  scandal  of  the  church 
disseminated,  and  the  more  sevefe  is  my  treatment  of  the  offender.' " 
"That  is  very  unlucky,"  replied  the  steward;  "and  my  friend 
would  be  put  to  his  last  shifts  if  he  did  not  write  a  good  hand.  But, 
happily,  he  has  the  pen  of  a  ready  scribe,  and  keeps  his  head  above 
water  by  the  exercise  of  that  talent."  I  was  curious  to  see  whether 
this  boasted  handwriting  was  so  much  better  than  my  own.  The 
licentiate,  who  had  a  specimen  in  his  pocket,  showed  me  a  sheet 
which  I  admired  very  much;  it  had  all  the  regularity  of  a  writing- 
master's  copy.  In  looking  over  this  model  of  penmanship,  an  idea 
occurred  to  me.  I  begged  Gracias  to  leave  this  paper  in  my  hands, 
saying  that  I  might  be  able  to  do  something  with  it  which  should 
turn  out  to  his  advantage ;  that  I  could  not  explain  myself  at  that 
moment,  but  would  tell  him  more  the  next  day.  The  licentiate,  to 
whom  the  steward  had  evidently  talked  big  about  my  capacity  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  359 

serve  him,  withdrew  in  as  good  spirits  as  if  lie  had  already  been 
restored  to  his  functions. 

I  was  in  earnest  in  my  endeavor  that  he  should  be  so,  and  lost 
no  time  in  setting  to  work.  Happening  to  be  alone  with  the  arch- 
bishop, I  produced  the  specimen.  My  patron  was  delighted  with  it. 
Seizing  on  this  favorable  opportunity,  "  May  it  please  your  grace," 
said  I,  "  since  you  are  determined  not  to  put  your  homilies  to  the 
press,  I  should  very  much  like  them  to  be  transcribed  in  this 
masterly  manner." 

"  I  am  very  well  satisfied  with  your  performance,"  answered  the 
prelate ;  "  but  yet  I  own  that  it  would  be  a  pleasant  thing  to  have  a 
copy  of  my  works  in  that  hand."  "  Your  grace,"  replied  I,  "  has 
only  to  signify  your  wishes.  The  man  who  copies  so  well  is  a 
licentiate  (rf  my  acquaintance.  It  will  give  him  so  much  the  more 
pleasure  to  gratify  you,  as  it  may  be  the  means  of  interesting  your 
goodness  to  extricate  him  from  the  melancholy  situation  to  which 
he  has  the  misfortune  at  present  to  be  reduced." 

The  prelate  could  not  do  otherwise  than  inquire  the  name  of  this 
licentiate.  I  told  him  it  was  Lewis  Garcias.  "  He  is  in  despair  at 
having  drawn  down  your  censure  upon  him."  "That  Garciag," 
interrupted  he,  "  if  I  am  not  mistaken,  was  chaplain  in  a  convent 
of  nuns,  and  has  been  brought  into  the  ecclesiastical  court  as  a  de- 
linquent. I  recollect  some  very  heavy  charges  which  have  been 
sent  me  against  him.  His  morals  are  not  the  most  exemplary." 
"May  it  please  your  grace,"  interrupted  I  in  my  turn,  "it  is  not  for 
me  to  justify  him  in  all  points ;  but  I  know  that  he  has  enemies. 
He  maintains  that  the  authors  of  the  informations  you  have  re- 
ceived are  more  bent  on  doing  him  an  ill  oflBce  than  on  vindicating 
the  purity  of  religion."  "  That  very  possibly  may  be  the  case," 
replied  the  archbishop ;  "  there  are  a  great  many  firebrands  in  the 
world.  Besides,  though  we  should  take  it  for  granted  that  his  con- 
duct has  not  always  been  above  suspicion,  he  may  have  repented 
of  his  sins ;  in  short,  the  mercies  of  Heaven  are  infinite,  however 
heinous  our  transgressions.  Bring  that  licentiate  before  me ;  I  take 
off  his  suspension." 

Thus  it  is  that  men  of  the  most  austere  character  descend  from 
their  altitudes  when  interest  or  a  favorite  whim  reduces  them  to  the 
level  of  the  frail.  The  archbishop  granted,  without  a  struggle,  to 
the  empty  vanity  of  having  his  works  well  copied,  what  he  had  re- 
fused to  the  most  respectable  applications.  I  carried  the  news  with 
all  possible  expedition  to  the  steward,  who  communicated  it  to  his 
friend  Garcias.  That  licentiate,  on  the  following  day,  came  to  re- 
turn me  thanks  commensurate  with  the  favor  obtained.  I  presented 
him  to  my  master,  who  contented  himself  with  giving  him  a  slight 


360  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

reprimand,  and  put  the  homilies  into  his  hand,  to  copy  them  out 
fair.  Garcias  performed  the  task  so  satisfactorily,  that  he  was  rein- 
stated in  the  cure  of  souls,  and  was  afterwards  preferred  to  the  living 
of  Gabia,  a  large  market  town  in  the  neighborhood  of  Granada. 


CHAPTER   IV. 


THE   ARCHBISHOP   IS   STRUCK   WITH   APOPLEXY.     HOW   GIL  BLAS   GETB 
INTO  A  DILEMMA,  AND  HOW  HE  GETS  OUT. 

WHILE  I  was  thus  rendering  myself  a  blessing  first  to  one 
and  then  to  the  other,  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva  was  making 
his  arrangements  for  leaving  Granada.  I  called  on  that  nobleman 
before  his  departure,  to  thank  him  once  more  for  the  advantageous 
post  he  had  procured  me.  My  expressions  of  satisfaction  were  so 
lively,  that  he  said,  "My  dear  Gil  Bias,  I  am  delighted  to  find  you 
in  such  good  humor  with  my  uncle  the  archbishop."  "  I  am  abso- 
lutely in  love  with  him,"  answered  I.  "  His  goodness  to  me  has 
been  such  as  I  can  never  sufficiently  acknowledge.  Less  than  my 
present  happiness  could  never  have  made  me  amends  for  being  at 
so  great  a  distance  from  Don  Caesar  and  his  son."  "I  am  per- 
suaded," replied  he,  "  that  they  are  both  of  them  equally  chagrined 
at  having  lost  you.  But  possibly  you  are  not  separated  forever; 
fortune  may  some  day  bring  you  together  again."  I  could  not  hear 
such  an  idea  started  without  being  moved  by  it.  My  sighs  would 
find  vent ;  and  I  felt  at  that  moment  so  strong  an  affection  for  Don 
Alphonso,  that  I  could  willingly  have  turned  my  back  on  the  arch- 
bishop and  an  the  fine  prospects  that  were  opening  to  me,  and  have 
gone  back  to  the  castle  of  Leyva,  had  but  a  mortification  taken  place 
in  the  back  of  the  scarecrow  which  had  frightened  me  away.  Don 
Ferdinand  was  not  insensible  to  the  emotions  that  agitated  me,  and 
felt  himself  so  much  obliged  by  them,  that  he  took  his  leave  with 
the  assurance  of  the  whole  family  always  taking  an  anxious  interest 
in  my  fate. 

Two  months  after  this  worthy  gentleman  had  left  us,  in  the  luxu- 
riant harvest  of  my  highest  favor,  a  lowering  storm  came  suddenly 
over  the  episcopal  palace;  the  archbishop  had  a  stroke  of  apoplexy. 
By  dint  of  immediate  applications  and  good  nursing,  in  a  few  days 
there  was  no  bodily  appearance  of  disease  remaining.  But  his 
reverend  intellects  did  not  so  easily  recover  from  their  lethargy.    I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  361 

could  not  help  observing  it  to  myself  in  the  very  first  discourse  that 
he  composed.  Yet  there  was  not  such  a  wide  gap  between  the 
merits  of  the  present  and  the  former  ones  as  to  warrant  the  infer- 
ence that  the  sun  of  oratory  was  many  degrees  advanced  in  its  post- 
meridian course.  A  second  homily  was  worth  waiting  for,  because 
that  would  clearly  determine  the  line  of  my  conduct.  Alas,  and 
well-a-day  I  when  that  second  homily  came,  it  was  a  knock-down 
argument.  Sometimes  the  good  prelate  moved  forward,  and  some-> 
times  he  moved  backward ;  sometimes  he  mounted  up  into  the 
garret,  and  sometimes  dipped  down  into  the  cellar.  It  was  a  com- 
position of  more  sound  than  meaning,  something  like  a  superannu- 
ated schoolmaster's  theme,  when  he  attempts  to  give  his  boys  more 
sense  than  he  possesses  of  his  own,  or  like  a  capuchin's  sermon, 
which  only  scatters  a  few  artificial  flowers  of  paltry  rhetoric  over  a 
barren  desert  of  doctrine. 

I  was  not  the  only  person  whom  the  alteration  struck.  The  audi- 
ence at  large,  when  he  delivered  it,  as  if  they  too  had  been  pledged 
to  watch  the  advances  of  dotage,  said  to  one  another  in  a  whisper 
all  around  the  church,  "Here  is  a  sermon  with  symptoms  of  apo- 
plexy in  every  paragraph."  "Come,  my  good  Coryphaeus  of  the 
public  taste  in  homilies,"  said  I  then,  to  myself,  "  prepare  to  do 
your  office.  You  see  that  my  lord  archbishop  is  going  very  fast — 
you  ought  to  warn  him  of  it,  not  only  as  his  bosom  friend,  on  whose 
sincerity  he  relies,  but  lest  some  blunt  fellow  should  anticipate  you, 
and  bolt  out  the  truth  in  an  offensive  manner ;  in  that  case  you 
know  the  consequence ;  you  would  be  struck  out  of  his  will,  where, 
no  doubt,  you  have  a  more  convertible  bequest  than  the  licentiate 
Sedillo's  library." 

But  as  reason,  like  Janus,  looks  at  things  with  two  faces,  I  began 
to  consider  the  other  side  of  the  question ;  the  hint  seemed  difficult 
to  wrap  up  so  as  to  make  it  palatable.  Authors  in  general  are  stark 
mad  on  the  subject  of  their  own  works,  and  such  an  author  might  be 
more  testy  than  the  common  herd  of  the  irritable  race ;  but  that 
suspicion  seemed  illiberal  on  my  part,  for  it  was  impossible  that  my 
freedom  should  be  taken  amiss  when  it  had  been  forced  upon  me  by 
80  positive  an  injunction.  Add  to  this,  that  I  reckoned  upon  hand- 
ling the  subject  skillfully,  and  cramming  discretion  down  his  throat 
like  a  high-seasoned  epicurean  dish.  After  all  my  pro  and  con, 
finding  that  I  risked  more  by  keeping  silence  than  by  breaking  it,  I 
determined  to  venture  on  the  delicate  duty  of  speating  my  mind. 

Now  there  was  but  one  difficulty — a  difficulty  indeed!  how  to  open 
the  business.  Luckily  the  orator  himself  extricated  me  from  that 
embarrassment,  by  asking  what  they  said  of  him  in  the  world  at 
large,  and  whether  people  were  tolerably  well  pleased  with  his  last 


362  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

discourse,  I  answered  that  there  could  be  but  one  opinion  about 
his  homilies ;  but  that  it  should  seem  as  if  the  last  had  not  quite 
struck  home  to  the  hearts  of  the  audience,  lilce  those  which  had 
gone  before.  "  Do  you  really  mean  what  you  say,  my  friend?"  re- 
plied he,  with  a  sort  of  wriggling  surprise.  "Then  my  congregation 
are  more  in  the  temper  of  Aristarchus  than  of  Longinus  I"  "  No, 
may  it  please  your  grace,"  rejoined  I,  "quite  the  contrary.  Per- 
formances of  that  order  are  above  the  reach  of  vulgar  criticism  : 
there  is  not  a  soul  but  expects  to  be  saved  by  their  influence. 
Nevertheless,  since  you  have  made  it  my  duty  to  be  sincere  and  un- 
reserved, I  shall  take  the  liberty  of  just  stating  that  your  last  dis- 
course is  not  written  with  quite  the  overpowering  eloquence  and 
conclusive  argument  of  your  former  ones.  Does  not  your  grace  feel 
just  as  I  do  on  the  subject?" 

This  ignorant  and  stupid  frankness  of  mine  completely  blanched 
my  master's  cheek  ;  but  he  forced  a  fretful  smile,  and  said,  "  Then, 
good  Master  Gil  Bias,  that  piece  does  not  exactly  hit  your  fancy?" 
"I  did  not  mean  to  say  that,  your  grace,"  interrupted  I,  looking  very 
foolish.  "  It  is  very  far  superior  to  what  any  one  else  could  produce, 
though  a  little  below  par  with  respect  to  your  own  works  in  gen- 
eral." "  I  know  what  you  mean,"  replied  he.  "  You  think  I  am 
going  down  hill,  do  you  not?  Out  with  it  at  once.  It  is  your 
opinion  that  it  is  time  for  me  to  think  of  retiring?"  "I  should 
never  have  had  the  presumption,"  said  I,  "  to  deliver  myself  with  so 
little  reserve,  if  it  had  not  been  your  grace's  express  command.  I 
act  in  entire  obedience  to  your  grace's  orders ;  and  I  most  obsequi- 
ously implore  your  grace  not  to  take  offence  at  my  boldness."  "  I 
were  unfit  to  live  in  a  Christian  land,"  interrupted  he,  with  stam- 
mering impatience, — "I  were  unfit  to  live  in  a  Christian  land  if  I 
liked  you  the  less  for  such  a  Christian  virtue  as  sincerity.  A  man 
who  does  not  love  sincerity  sets  his  face  against  the  distinguishing 
mark  between  a  friend  and  a  flatterer.  I  should  have  given  you  infi- 
nite credit  for  speaking  what  you  thought,  if  you  had  thought  any- 
thing that  deserved  to  be  spoken.  I  have  been  finely  taken  in  by 
your  outside  show  of  cleverness,  without  any  solid-  foundation  of 
sober  judgment." 

Though  completely  unhorsed,  and  at  the  enemy's  mercy,  I  wanted 
to  make  terms  of  decent  capitulation,  and  to  go  unmolested  into 
winter  quarters ;  but  let  those  who  think  to  appease  an  exasperated 
author,  and  especially  an  author  whose  ear  has  been  long  attuned 
to  the  music  of  his  own  praises,  take  warning  by  my  fate.  "  Let  us 
talk  no  more  on  the  subject,  my  very  young  friend,"  said  he.  "  You 
are  as  yet  scarcely  in  the  rudiments  of  good  taste,  and  utterly  in- 
competent to  distinguish  between  gold  and  tinsel.    You  are  yet  to 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  363 

learn  that  I  never  in  all  my  life  composed  a  finer  homily  than  that 
unfortunate  one  which  had  not  the  honor  of  your  approbation.  The 
immortal  part  of  me,  by  the  blessing  of  Heaven  on  me  arid  my  con- 
gregation, is  less  weighed  down  by  human  infirmity  than  when  the 
flesh  was  stronger.  We  all  grow  wiser  as  we  grow  older,  and  I  shall 
in  future  select  the  people  about  me  with  more  caution,  nor  submit 
the  castigation  of  my  works  but  to  a  much  abler  critic  than  yourself. 
Get  about  your  business  !"  pursued  he,  giving  me  an  angry  shove  by 
the  shoulders  out  of  his  closet ;  "  go  and  tell  my  treasurer  to  pay 
you  a  hundred  ducats,  and  take  my  priestly  blessing  in  addition  to 
that  sum.  God  speed  you,  good  Master  Gil  Bias!  I  heartily  pray 
that  you  may  do  well  in  the  world !  There  is  nothing  to  stand  in 
yout  way  but  the  want  of  a  little  better  taste." 


CHAPTEE  V. 

THE  CXJtTESE  WHICH  GIL  BLAS  TOOK  AFTER  LEAVING  THE  AKCHBISHOP. 
HIS  ACCIDENTAL  MEETING  WITH  THE  LICENTIATE. 

I  MADE  the  best  of  my  way  out  of  the  closet,  cursing  the  caprice, 
or  more  properly  the  dotage,  of  the  archbishop,  and  more  in 
dudgeon  at  his  absurdity,  than  cast  down  at  the  loss  of  his  good 
graces.  For  some  time  it  was  a  moot  point  whether  I  should  go  and 
lay  claim  to  my  hundred  ducats ;  but  after  having  weighed  the 
matter  dispassionately,  I  was  not  such  a  fool  as  to  quarrel  with  my 
bread  and  butter.  There  was  no  reason  why  that  money,  fairly 
earned,  should  deprive  me  of  my  natural  right  to  make  a  joke  of 
this  ridiculous  prelate ;  in  which  good  deed  I  promised  myself  not 
to  be  wanting,  as  often  as  himself  or  his  homilies  were  brought  upon 
the  carpet  in  my  hearing. 

I  went,  therefore,  and  asked  the  treasurer  for  a  hundred  ducats, 
without  telling  a  word  about  the  literary  warfare  between  his  mas- 
ter and  me.  Afterwards  I  called  on  Melchior  de  la  Eonda,  to  take 
a  long  leave  of  him.  He  was  too  much  my  friend  not  to  sympa- 
thize with  my  misfortune.  While  I  was  telling  my  story,  vexation 
was  strongly  imprinted  on  his  countenance.  In  spite  of  all  his 
respect  for  the  archbishop,  he  could  not  help  blaming  him ;  but 
when,  in  the  fever  of  my  resentment,  I  threatened  to  be  a  match  for 
the  prelate,  and  to  entertain  the  whole  city  at  his  expense,  the  pru- 
dent Melchior  gave  me  a  salutary  caution :  "  Take  my  advice,  my 


864  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

dear  Gil  Bias,  and  rather  pocket  the  affront.  Men  of  a  lower  sphere 
in  life  should  always  be  cap  in  hand  to  people  of  quality,  whatever 
may  be  theil*  grounds  of  complaint.  It  must  be  admitted  that  there 
are  some  very  coarse  specimens  of  greatness,  which  in  themselves 
are  scarcely  deserving  of  the  least  respect  or  attention ;  but  even 
such  animals  have  their  weapons  of  annoyance,  and  it  is  best  to 
keep  out  of  their  way." 

I  thanked  the  old  valet-de-chambre  for  the.  good  counsel  he  had 
given  me,  and  promised  to  be  guided  by  it.  Pleased  with  my  defer- 
ence to  his  opinion,  he  said  to  me,  "  If  you  go  to  Madrid,  be  sure 
you  call  upon  my  nephew,  Joseph  Navarro.  He  is  factotum  in  the 
family  of  Signor  Don  Balthazar  de  Zunigna,  and  I  can  venture  to 
recommend  him  as  a  lad  in  every  respect  worthy  of  your  friend- 
ship. He  is  just  as  nature  made  him,  with  all  the  vivacity  of  youth, 
courteous  in  his  manners,  and  forward  to  oblige  ;  I  could  wish  you 
to  get  acquainted  with  him."  I  answered  that  I  would  not  fail  to 
go  and  see  this  Joseph  Navarro  as  soon  as  I  should  get  to  Madrid, 
whither  I  meant  to  return  in  due  time.  Then  did  I  turn  my  back 
on  the  episcopal  palace,  never  to  grace  it  with  my  presence  again. 
If  I  had  kept  my  horse,  I  should  perhaps  have  set  out  for  Toledo 
immediately ;  but  I  had  sold  it  during  the  period  of  my  administra- 
tion, supposing  that  I  was  in  oflSce  for  life,  and  should  not  hence- 
forward be  migratory.  My  final  resolution  was  to  hire  a  ready-fur- 
nished lodging,  as  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  stay  another  month 
in  Granada,  and  then  to  pay  the  Count  de  Polan  a  visit. 

As  dinner-hour  was  drawing  nigh,  I  asked  my  landlady  if  there 
was  any  eating-house  in  the  neighborhood.  She  answered  that 
there  was  a  very  good  one  within  a  few  yards  of  her  house, 
where  the  accommodations  were  excellent,  and  the  company  select 
and  numerous.  I  made  her  show  me  where  it  was,  and  went  thither 
sharp  set.  I  was  shown  into  a  large  room,  resembling  the  hall  of  a 
monastery  in  everything  but  good  cheer.  There  were  ten  or  a  dozen 
men  sitting  at  a  long  table,  with  a  cloth  spread  over  it  that  fretted 
in  its  own  grease;  but  they,  with  unoffended  nostrils,  were  engaged 
in  general  conversation,  though  they  dined  individually,  each  hav- 
ing a  miserable  scrap  for  his  portion.  The  people  of  the  house 
brought  me  my  allowance,  which  at  another  time  would  have  turned 
my  stomach,  and  have  made  me  sigh  after  the  luxuries  of  the  table 
I  had  just  lost.  But  at  this  moment  I  was  so  indignant  against  the 
archbishop,  that  the  homely  fare  of  a  paltry  eating-house  seemed 
more  palatable  than  the  dainties  of  his  sumptuous  board.  It  was  a 
burning  shame  to  see  such  a  waste  of  provisions  served  up  in  soups 
and  sauces  to  pamper  the  appetite.  Arguing  like  a  deep  examiner 
in  the  economy  of  the  human  frame,  and  reasoning  medically  as  well 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  365 

as  philosophically  on  the  disproportion  between  the  simple  wants 
of  nature  and  the  complexity  of  luxurious  indulgence,  "  Cursed  be 
they,"  said  I,  "  who  invented  those  pernicious  dinners  and  suppers, 
where  one  must  sit  on  the  tenterhooks  of  self-denial,  for  fear  of 
overloading  the  storehouse  and  shop  of  the  whole  body !  Man  wants 
but  little  here  below,  and  provided  he  can  keep  but  body  and  soul 
together,  the  less  he  eats,  the  better."  Thus  did  I,  in  my  surly 
vein,  give  utterance  to  wise  saws,  which,  however  just  in  theory,  had 
hitherto  been  little  recommended  by  my  practice. 

While  I  was  despatching  my  commons,  without  any  danger  of  a 
surfeit  from  repletion,  the  licentiate  Lewis  Garcias,  who  had  got  the 
living  of  Gabia  in  the  manner  before  mentioned,  came  into  the 
room.  The  moment  he  recognized  me,  he  ran  into  my  arms  with 
all  the  cordiality  of  friendship,  or  rather  with  the  extravagant  joy 
of  a  lover  after  a  long  exile  from  his  mistress.  He  folded  me 
repeatedly  within  his  sincere  embrace,  and  I  was  compelled  to  stand 
the  brunt  of  a  long-winded  compliment  on  the  unparalleled  disin- 
terestedness of  my  conduct  towards  him.  Gratitude  is  a  fine  virtue, 
yet  it  is  wearisome  when  carried  beyond  the  bounds.  He  took  his 
seat  next  me,  saying,  "Well,  a  parson  must  not  swear;  though,  by 
the  mass,  my  dear  patron,  since  my  good  fortune  has  thrown  me  in 
your  way,  we  will  not  part  without  a  jovial  glass.  But  as  there  is 
no  good  wine  in  this  shabby  inn,  I  will  take  you,  if  you  please,  after 
our  make-shift  dinner,  to  a  place  where  I  will  treat  you  with  a 
couple  of  bottles,  rich,  genuine,  and  old,  in  comparison  of  which  the 
Falernian  of  Horace  was  all  a  farce.  The  church  will  give  us  abso- 
lution, in  the  cause  of  gratitude!  If  I  could  but  get  you  for  a  few 
days  down  at  my  parsonage  of  Gabia  I  Maecenas  was  never  more 
welcome  to  the  poet's  Sabine  farm  than  the  author  of  all  my  ease 
and  comfort  to  the  choicest  produce  of  a  glebe  which  is  mine  only 
by  your  benevolence." 

While  he  was  holding  this  high-flown  language,  his  little  slice  of 
dinner  was  set  before  him.  He  fell  to  without  the  fear  of  indiges- 
tion before  his  eyes,  still  heightening  the  luxury  of  the  repast,  at 
intervals,  by  fine  speeches  addressed  to  me  in  the  most  fulsome 
style  of  flattery.  I  took  the  opportunity,  when  his  mouth  was  filled 
with  something  more  substantial,  to  edge  in  a  word  or  two  amidst 
the  torrent ;  and  as  he  had  not  forgotten  to  ask  after  his  friend  the 
steward,  I  made  no  bones  about  acknowledging  that  I  was  no  longer 
a  hanger-on  of  the  church.  ,  I  even  went  so  far  as  to  particularize 
the  most  trivial  circumstances  attending  my  resignation,  to  all  of 
which  he  listened  with  an  attentive  ear.  After  all  his  fine  profes- 
sions, who  would  not  have  expected  to  see  him  moved  even  to  tears 
with  the  throes  of  resentful  gratitude,  to  hear  him  thunder  bulls  and 


366  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

interdicts  against  the  superannuated  archbishop?  The  devil  a  bit  I 
he  did  neither  the  one  thing  nor  the  other.  But  his  countenance 
fell,  and  his  whole  air  was  that  of  an  absent  man ;  the  rest  of  his 
dinner  was  bolted  down  without  the  garnish  of  intermediate  talk 
about  Maecenas ;  as  soon  as  he  had  done,  he  hurried  from  table 
without  minding  grace  or  gratitude,  wished  me  good  day  with  a 
cold  and  distant  air,  and  got  off  as  fast  as  possible.  The  unfeeling 
scoundrel,  perceiving  that  I  was  no  longer  in  a  situation  for  him  to 
pump  anything  out  of  me,  would  not  even  take  the  trouble  to  draw 
a  decent  veil  over  his  dirty  principles.  But  such  a  blackguard  could 
excite  no  other  sensation  than  contempt  and  laughter.  Looking  at 
him  with  derision,  the  fittest  chastisement  for  fellows  like  these,  I 
called  after  him,  loud  enough  to  be  heard  by  the  whole  room, 
"  Stop  there,  you  nun's  priest  I  Go  and  put  those  two  bottles  in  ice 
against  Maecenas  comes  to  the  Sabine  farm  !  Be  sure  they  ax*e  rich, 
genuine^  and  old,  or  they  will  be  a  farce  to  Falernian." 


CHAPTEE   VI. 


GIL  BLAS  GOES  TO  THE  PLAY  AT  GRANADA.     HIS  SURPRISE  AT  SEEING 
ONE  OF  THE  ACTRESSES,  AND  WHAT  HAPPENED  THEREUPON. 

""^T"0  sooner  had  Garcias  rid  the  room  of  his  presence,  than  two 
_L  1  gentlemen  came  in,  extremely  well  dressed,  and  took  their 
seats  close  by  me.  They  began  talking  about  the  players  of  the 
Granada  company,  and  about  a  new  piece  which  just  then  had  a 
great  run.  According  to  their  account,  it  was  quite  the  town  talk. 
Nothing  would  do  for  me  but  to  go  and  see  it  that  very  day.  I  had 
never  been  at  the  play  since  my  residence  at  Granada.  As  I  had 
lived  nearly  the  whole  time  in  the  archbishop's  palace,  where  all 
such  profane  shows  were  condemned  as  uncanonical,  I  had  been  cut 
off  from  every  recreation  of  that  sort.  All  my  knowledge  of  men 
and  manners  was  drawn  from  homilies ! 

I  repaired,  therefore,  to  the  theatre  at  the  appointed  hour,  and 
found  a  very  full  house.  All  around  me,  discussions  were  going  on 
about  the  piece  before  the  curtain  drew  up ;  and  there  was  not  a 
soul  in  the  numerous  assembly  but  had  some  remark  to  make  upon 
it.  One  liked  it,  another  could  not  bear  it.  "  Do  not  you  think  the 
dialogue  is  particularly  happy?"  said  a  candid  critic  on  my  right. 
"  Was  there  ever  such  miserable  stuff  I"  cried  a  snarling  critic  on 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  367 

my  left.  In  good  truth,  if  bad  authors  abound,  it  must  be  admitted 
that  the  public  are  at  variance  about  what  is  good  and  what  is  bad : 
but  the  bad  judges  have  a  right  to  be  pleased  for  their  money  ;  and 
as  they  far  outnumber  the  good  ones,  their  favorite  writers  can  never 
want  employment.  When  one  only  considers  through  what  an 
ordeal  dramatic  poets  have  to  pass,  it  is  a  matter  of  wonder  that  any 
should  be  found  hardy  enough  at  once  to  contend  against  the  ignor- 
ance of  the  multitude  and  the  random  shot  of  those  self-created 
guides  in  matters  of  taste,  who  always  pretend  to  lead  the  blind- 
ness of  the  public  judgment,  and  too  frequently  push  it  into  the 
mire  of  absurdity. 

At  length  the  buffoon  of  the  piece  came  forward  by  way  of  pro- 
logue. As  soon  as  his  grotesque  countenance  was  visible,  there  was 
a  general  clapping  of  hands  ;  a  sure  indication  of  his  being  one  of 
those  spoiled  actors  who  are  allowed  to  take  any  liberties  with  the 
pit,  and  to  be  applauded  through  thick  and  thin.  In  fact,  this 
player  neither  opened  his  lips,  nor  moved  a  muscle,  without  excit- 
ing the  most  extravagant  raptures.  He  would  have  performed 
better  had  he  been  less  conscious  what  a  favorite  he  was.  But  he 
presumed  on  that  circumstance  most  abominably.  I  observed  that 
he  sometimes  forgot  what  was  set  down  for  him,  and  took  the  license 
of  adding  to  his  part  out  of  his  own  free  fancy — a  common  cause  of 
complaint  against  low  comedians,  which,  though  it  make  the  un- 
skillful laugh,  cannot  but  make  the  judicious  grieve.  Would  the 
audience  but  receive  such  mirth  with  hisses,  instead  of  crying 
bravo,  they  might  restrain  the  absurd  practice,  and  purge  the  stage 
.from  barbarism. 

Some  of  the  other  performers  were  greeted  with  the  usual  tokens 
on  their  entrance,  and  particularly  an  actress  who  played  the 
chambermaid.  There  was  something  about  her  which  more  than 
usually  attracted  my  attention  ;  and  language  must  sink  under  the 
labor  of  expressing  my  astonishment  at  tracing  the  features  of 
Laura,  that  fair,  that  chaste,  that  inexpressible  she,  whom  I  sup- 
posed to  be  still  at  Madrid,  warbling  in  one  key,  with  hands,  sides, 
voice,  and  mind  incorporate  with  Arsenia.  But  there  could  be  no 
doubt  of  her  identity.  The  kick  in  her  gallop,  the  leer  in  her  eye, 
and  the  tripping  pertness  of  her  tongue,  all  conspired  in  evidence 
that  there  could  be  no  mistake.  Yet,  as  if  I  had  refused  belief  to 
the  affidavit  of  my  own  eyes  and  ears,  I  asked  her  name  of  a  gentle- 
man who  was  sitting  beside  me.  "  What  the  deuce!  Why,  whera 
do  you  come  from  ?"  said  he.  "You  must  unquestionably  be  a  new 
importation,  not  to  have  seen  or  heard  of  the  divine  Estella." 

The  likeness  was  too  perfect  for  me  to  be  mistaken.  It  was  easy 
to  comprehend  why  Laura,  changing  her  sphere  of  action,  changed 


368  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

her  name  also ,  wherefore,  from  curiosity  to  know  how  matters  stood 
with  her,  since  the  public  always  pry  into  the  most  private  concerns 
of  theatrical  persons,  I  inquired  of  the  same  man  whether  this 
Estella  had  any  particular  affair  of  gallantry  on  her  hands.  He  in- 
formed me  that  for  the  last  two  months  there  had  been  a  great 
Portuguese  nobleman  at  Granada, — his  name  was  the  Marquis  de 
Marialva, — who  had  laid  out  a  great  deal  of  money  upon  her.  He 
might  have  told  me  more,  if  I  had  not  been  afraid  of  becoming 
troublesome  with  my  questions.  I  was  better  employed  in  musing  on 
the  information  this  good  gentleman  had  given  me  than  in  attending 
to  the  play ;  and  if  any  one  had  asked  me  what  it  was  all  about,  when 
the  piece  was  over,  I  should  have  been  puzzled  for  an  answer.  I 
could  do  nothing  but  decline  Laura  and  Estella  through  all  cases 
and  numbers,  till  at  length  I  boldly  made  up  my  mind  to  call  at 
her  house  the  next  day.  Not  but  there  was  some  risk  as  to  the 
reception  she  might  give  me :  it  might  be  suspected,  without  excess 
of  modesty,  that  my  appearance  wooild  give  her  no  great  pleasure 
in  the  high  tide  of  her  affairs ;  nor  was  it  at  all  improbable  that  so 
good  an  actress,  to  revenge  herself  on  a  man  with  whom  certainly 
she  had  an  account  to  settle,  might  look  strange,  and  swear  she  had 
never  seen  his  face  before.  Yet  did  none  of  these  apprehensions 
deter  me  from  my  venture.  After  a  light  supper,— for  all  the  meals 
at  my  eating-house  were  regulated  on  principles  of  economy  and. 
temperance, — I  withdrew  to  my  chamber  with  an  anxious  longing 
for  the  next  day. 

My  sleep  was  short  and  interrupted,  so  that  I  got  up  by  daybreak. 
But  as  it  was  to  be  recollected  that  a  mistress  in  high  keep  was  not . 
likely  to  be  visible  early  in  the  morning,  I  passed  three  or  four 
hours  in  dressing,  shaving,  powdering,  and  perfuming.  It  was  my 
business  to  present  myself  before  her  in  a  trim  not  to  put  her  to  the 
blush  at  acknowledging  my  acquaintance.  I  sallied  forth  about 
ten  o'clock,  and  knocked  at  her  door,  after  having  inquired  her 
address  at  the  theatre.  She  was  living  on  the  first  floor  of  a  large 
and  elegant  house.  I  told  a  chambermaid,  who  opened  the  door  to 
me,  that  a  young  man  wanted  to  speak  with  her  lady.  The  cham- 
bermaid went  in  to  give  my  message,  when  all  at  once  I  heard  her 
mistress  call  out,  not  in  the  best-tempered  tone  in  the  world,  "Who 
is  the  young  man  ?    What  does  he  want  ?    Show  him  up  stairs." 

This  was  a  hint  to  me  that  my  time  was  ill  chosen  ;  that  probably 
her  Portuguese  lover  was  at  her  toilet,  and  that  she  spoke  so  loud 
with  the  laudable  design  of  convincing  him  that  she  was  not  a  sort 
of  girl  to  allow  of  any  impertinent  intruders.  This  conjecture  of 
mine  turned  out  to  be  the  fact ;  the  Marquis  de  Marialva  lounged 
away  almost  every  morning  with  her ;  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  be 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  869 

kicked  down  stairs  by  way  of  welcome ;  but  that  admirable  actress, 
never  forgetting  her  cue,  ran  forward  with  open  arms  at  the  sight 
of  me,  exclaiming,  "  Ah  !  my  dear  brother,  is  it  you  that  I  behold?" 
On  the  strength  of  so  near  a  kindred,  she  was  no  niggard  of  her 
embraces,  but  recollected  herself  so  far  as  to  say,  turning  round  to 
the  Portuguese,  "  My  lord,  you  must  excuse  me  if  nature  will  put  in 
her  claim,  and  trench  upon  good  breeding.  After  three  years  of 
absence,  I  cannot  see  a  brother  once  again,  whom  I  love  so  tenderly, 
without  expressing  my  feelings  in  all  their  warmth.  Come,  jny 
dear  Gil  Bias,"  continued  she,  addressing  me  afresh,  "tell  me 
some  news  of  the  family :  in  what  circumstances  did  you  leave  it?" 

This  whimsical  scene  disconcerted  me  at  first,  but  I  was  not  long 
in  seeing  through  Laura's  intention,  and  playing  up  to  her  with  a 
spirit  scarcely  less  than  her  own,  answered,  according  to  the  plot, 
"  Heaven  be  praised,  sister,  all  our  good  folks  are  in  perfect  health, 
and  well  in  the  world."  "  I  make  no  doubt,"  resumed  she,  "  but 
you  must  be  very  much  surprised  to  find  me  an  actress  in  Granada; 
but  hear  me  first,  and  blame  me  afterwards.  It  is  three  years,  as 
you  may  recollect,  since  my  father  thought  to  have  established  me 
advantageously  in  marriage  with  Don  Antonio  Ccello,  an  ofl5cer  in 
the  service,  who  took  me  from  the  Asturias  to  Madrid,  his  native 
place.  Six  months  after  our  arrival,  he  got  into  an  affair  of  honor 
in  consequence  of  his  violent  temper.  Some  attentions  incautiously 
paid  to  me  were  the  cause  of  the  affray,  and  his  antagonist  was 
killed.  This  gentleman  was  of  a  family  high  in  rank  and  interest. 
My  husband,  who,  though  well  born,  had  very  few  connections, 
made  his  escape  into  Catalonia  with  everything  he  could  get 
together  in  jewels  and  ready  money.  He  embarked  at  Barcelona, 
went  over  into  Italy,  enlisted  in  the  Venetian  service,  and  finally 
lost  his  life  in  the  Morea,  fighting  against  the  Turks.  In  the  mean- 
time, a  landed  estate  which  constituted  our  whole  revenue  was 
confiscated,  and  I  was  left  a  widow  with  very  little  for  my  support. 
What  was  to  be  done  in  so  pressing  an  emergency?  There  was 
nothing  left  to  pay  my  travelling  expenses  back  into  the  Asturias. 
And  then  what  should  I  have  done  there?  I  should  have  got 
nothing  from  my  family  but  a  long  string  of  condolences,  which 
would  have  furnished  me  neither  with  food  nor  with  raiment.  On 
the  other  hand,  I  had  been  too  well  brought  up  to  fall  into  those 
courses  into  which  too  many  poor  young  women  are  betrayed  for  the 
sake  of  a  scandalous  siibsistence.  There  was  but  one  thing  remain- 
ing for  me  to  determine  on.   I  turned  actress  to  preserve  my  morals." 

So  tingling  a  sense  of  ridicule  came  over  me  when  Laura  wound 
up  her  romance  with  this  pious  motive  for  turning  actress,  that  I 
could  scarcely  refrain  from  relieving  myself  by  a  fit  of  laughter. 
24 


370  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

But  gravity  was  of  too  much  consequence  to  be  dispensed  with,  and 
I  said  to  her  with  an  air  the  counterpart  of  her  own,  "  My  dear 
sister,  I  entirely  approve  of  your  conduct,  and  am  heartily  glad  to 
meet  with  you  at  Granada,  and  moreover  settled  on  so  respectable 
a  footing." 

The  Marquis  de  Marialva,  who  had  not  lost  a  word  of  all  these 
fine  speeches,  swallowed  down  blindfold  whatever  Don  Antonio's 
widow  thought  fit  to  drench  his  credulity  with.  He  took  part  in 
the  conversation  too,  and  asked  me  whether  I  had  any  fixed  em- 
ployment in  Granada  or  elsewhere.  I  paused  for  a  moment  to 
consider  whether  and  after  what  manner  I  should  lie ;  but  as  there 
seemed  no  need  in  this  case  to  draw  on  my  invention,  I  told  the 
truth  by  way  of  variety.  In  a  plain,  matter-of-fact  manner  did  I 
rehearse  my  introduction  to  the  archbishop's  palace,  and  my  dis- 
charge therefrom,  to  the  infinite  amusement  of  his  Portuguese 
lordship.  To  be  sure,  in  telling  the  truth,  I  did  not  keep  my  word, 
for  I  could  not  help  launching  out  a  little  at  the  archbishop's  ex- 
pense, in  spite  of  my  solemn  promise  given  to  Melchior.  But  the 
best  of  the  joke  was,  that  Laura,  taking  my  story  for  a  fiction  in- 
vented after  her  example,  burst  out  into  peals  of  laughter ;  whereas 
the  whimsicality  of  the  circumstances  would  have  raised  a  soberer 
mirth,  had  she  known  it  to  have  been  alloyed  with  the  base  ingre- 
dient of  veracity. 

After  having  come  to  the  end  of  my  tale,  which  closed  with  just 
mentioning  the  lodging  I  had  taken,  dinner  was  announced.  I 
instantly  motioned  to  withdraw,  as  if  intending  to  take  that  frugal 
meal  at  home;  but  Laura  would  not  hear  of  it.  " Do  you  mean  to 
affront  me,  brother  ?"  said  she.  "  You  must  dine  here.  Indeed  I 
cannot  think  of  your  staying  any  longer  at  a  paltry  inn.  You  must 
positively  board  and  lodge  in  my  house.  Send  your  trunks  hither 
this  very  evening ;  there  is  a  spare  bed  for  you." 

His  Portuguese  lordship,  possibly  not  altogether  relishing  this 
excess  of  hospitality  even  to  a  brother,  then  interfered  between  us, 
and  said  to  Laura,  "  No,  Estella,  you  have  not  sufiicient  accommo- 
dation to  give  him  a  bed  without  inconvenience.  Your  brother 
seems  to  be  a  clever  young  fellow,  and  the  circumstance  of  his  being 
so  nearly  related  to  you  gives  him  a  strong  claim  on  my  kindness. 
He  shall  be  put  at  once  upon  my  establishment.  I  am  in  want  of 
a  secretary,  and  shall  delight  in  giving  him  the  appointment ;  he 
shall  be  my  right-hand  man.  Let  him  be  stire  to  come  and  sleep 
at  my  house  this  very  night;  I  will  order  a  room  to  be  got  ready  for 
him.  I  will  fix  his  regular  salary  at  four  hundred  ducats ;  and  if, 
on  better  acquaintance,  I  have  reason,  as  I  trust  I  shall,  to  be  sat- 
isfied with  him,  I  will  place  him  in  a  situation  to  laugh  at  the  con- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  371 

sequences  of  having  been  a  little  too  plain-spoken  with  his  patron 
the  archbishop." 

My  acknowledgments  to  the  marquis  for  his  high  honor  were  fol- 
lowed by  those  of  Laura,  who  far  exceeded  me  in  powers  of  pane- 
gyric. " Let  us  drop  the  subject,"  interrupted  he;  "it  is  a  settled 
point."  Settled  as  it  was,  he  confirmed  the  contract  on  the  lips  of 
his  green-room  Dulcinea,  and  went  his  way.  She  immediately 
pulled  me  by  the  arm  into  a  closet,  where,  secure  from  interruption* 
she  cried  out,  "  Cut  my  laces  I  1  shall  burst  if  I  do  not  give  way  at 
once  to  the  fit  of  laughter  that  is  coming  over  me."  And  so  she 
probably  would ;  for  she  threw  herself  into  an  arm-chair,  and  hold- 
ing both  hej*  sides,  shouted  out  her  convulsive  peal  of  mirth  like 
a  mad  woman.  It  was  impossible  for  me  to  refrain  from  following 
her  example.  When  we  had  exhausted  our  risible  propensities, 
"  Own,  Gil  Bias,"  said  she,  "  that  we  have  just  been  acting  a  very 
humorous  farce.  But  I  did  not  look  for  the  concluding  scene.  My 
only  thought  was  to  secure  you  board  and  lodging  under  my  own 
roof;  and  there  was  no  other  possibility  of  making  the  proposition 
in  a  modest  way  but  by  passing  you  off  for  my  brother.  But  I  am 
heartily  glad  that  the  chapter  of  accidents  has  opened  with  so  good 
a  berth  for  you.  The  Marquis  de  Marialva  is  a  nobleman  of  liberal 
and  honorable  sentiments,  who  will  be  better  than  his  word  in  what 
he  does  for  you.  But  confess  now!  There  is  scarcely  a  woman  in 
existence  except  myself  would  have  given  so  coming-on  a  reception 
to  a  fellow  who  shirks  his  friends  without  saying  with  your  leave 
or  by  your  leave.  I,  however,  am  one  of  those  simple-hearted  girls 
who  are  glad  to  receive  back  again  the  base  man  they  have  once 
loved,  though  he  should  have  offended  and  repented  seven,  or  even 
seven  thousand  times." 

The  best  way  for  me  was  to  acknowledge  the  extreme  ill-breed- 
ing of  which  I  had  been  guilty,  to  blush  and  beg  pardon  once  for 
all.  After  this  explanation,  she  led  the  way  to  a  very  handsome 
dining-room.  We  placed  ourselves  at  table,  where,  having  a  cham- 
bermaid and  footboy  for  eye-witnesses,  we  kept  within  the  bounds  of 
brother  and  sister  When  we  had  done  dinner,  we  went  back  again 
into  the  same  closet  where  we  had  been  conversing  before.  Having 
our  time  to  ourselves,  my  paragon  of  a  Laura,  giving  herself  up  to 
her  natural  love  of  merriment,  and  to  her  no  less  natural  curiosity, 
required  from  me  a  faithful  and  true  narrative  of  all  my  pros  and 
cons,  my  ins  and  outs,  since  that  unmannerly  separation  of  ours.  I 
gave  her  a  full  and  particular  account,  nothing  extenuating  on  my 
own  behalf,  nor  setting  down  aught  in  malice  on  the  other  side. 
When  I  had  quenched  her  thirst  after  a  story,  she  slaked  mine  by 
communicating  the  following  particulars  of  her  eventful  life. 


372  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

CHAPTER   VII. 

lauba's  story. 

*<  T  SHALL  just  run  over  to  you,  as  briefly  as  possible,  the  cir- 
I  cumstances  which  led  me  to  embrace  the  theatrical  profes- 
sion. After  you  took  French  leave,  so  much  to  your  credit,  great 
events  happened.  My  mistress,  Arsenia,  more  surfeited  with  a  glut 
of  pleasures  than  scandalized  at  their  immorality,  renounced  the 
stage,  and  took  me  with  her  to  a  fine  estate  which  she  had  just  pur- 
chased in  the  neighborhood  of  Zenora  with  the  wages  of  her  sinful 
life.  "We  soon  got  acquainted  in  the  town.  Our  visits  there  were 
very  frequent,  and  sometimes  for  a  day  or  two  together.  With  the 
exception  of  these  little  excursions,  we  were  as  closely  domesticated 
as  probationers  in  a  nunnery,  and  almost  as  piously  employed. 

"  On  one  of  our  high  days  and  holidays,  Don  Felix  Maldonado, 
the  corregidor's  only  son,  saw  me  by  chance,  and  took  a  liking  to 
me.  He  soon  found  an  opportunity  of  speaking  with  me  in  private, 
and  as  it  is  in  vain  to  affect  modesty  before  one  who  knows  me  so 
well,  there  was  some  little  contrivance  of  my  own  to  bring  the  inter- 
view about.  The  young  gentleman  was  not  twenty  years  of  age ; 
the  very  picture  of  Venus's  sweetheart,  or  Venus's  sweetheart  the 
very  picture  of  him,  with  a  form  for  a  sculptor  to  work  from ;  with 
an  address  so  elegant,  and  with  sentiments  so  generous,  as  to  throw 
even  his  personal  graces  into  the  background.  There  was  such  a 
winning  way  with  him,  so  pressing  an  earnestness  to  prevail,  when 
he  took  a  large  diamond  from  his  own  finger  and  slid  it  upon 
mine,  that  it  would  have  been  quite  brutal  not  to  have  let  it  stay 
there.  It  was  really  something  like  sentiment  that  I  began  to  enter- 
tain towards  a  swain  of  so  interesting  a  character.  But  what  an 
absurd  thing  it  is  for  wenches  of  a  certain  sort  to  hook  themselves 
upon  young  men  of  family  when  their  surly  fathers  hold  official 
situations !  The  corregidor,  who  had  scarcely  his  equal  in  the  whole 
tribe  of  corregidors,  got  wind  of  our  correspondence,  and  determined 
to  close  it  in  a  summary  manner.  He  sent  a  host  of  alguazils  to 
take  me  into  custody,  who  dragged  me  away,  in  spite  of  my  cries 
and  tears,  to  the  house  of  correction  for  female  penitents. 

"There,  without  bill  of  indictment  or  form  of  trial,  the  lady 
abbess  ordered  me  to  be  stripped  of  my  ring  and  my  clothes,  and  to 
be  dressed  in  the  habit  of  the  institution, — a  long  gown  of  gray 
serge,  tied  about  the  middle  with  a  strap  of  black  leather,  whence 
depended  a  rosary  with  large  beads  swinging  down  to  my  heels. 
After  this  pleasant  reception,  they  took  me  into  a  hall,  where  there 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  373 

was  an  old  monk, — the  deuce  knows  of  what  order, — who  set  to  work 
preaching  up  repentance  and  resignation,  pretty  much  in  the  same 
strain  as  Dame  Leonarda,  when  she  exhorted  you  to  patience  in 
the  subterranean  cavern.  He  told  me  that  I  was  excessively  obliged 
indeed  to  those  good  people  who  had  so  kindly  shut  me  up,  and 
could  never  thank  them  sufficiently  for  their  good  deed  in  rescuing 
me  from  the  harpy  talons  of  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil.  But 
I  must  frankly  own  that  all  my  other  sins  were  pressed  down  and 
heaped  high  with  ingratitude.  Far  from  overflowing  with  the  milk 
of  human  kindness  towards  those  who  had  conferred  such  a  favor 
upon  me,  I  abused  them  in  terms  that  would  have  put  any  diction- 
ary to  the  blush. 

"  Eight  days  thus  passed  in  this  wildernessof  desolation,  but  on 
the  ninth — for  I  had  notched  the  hours  and  even  the  minutes  on  a 
stick — my  fate  seemed  beginning  to  take  another  turn.  Crossing  a 
little  court,  I  met  the  house  steward,  a  personage  whose  will  was  abso- 
lute ;  yes,  the  lady  abbess  herself  was  obedient  to  his  will.  He  ren- 
dered an  account  of  his  stewardship  to  none  but  the  corregidor,  on 
whom  alone  he  was  dependent,  and  whose  confidence  in  him  was 
unbounded.  His  name  was  Pedro  Zendono,  and  the  town  of  Salse- 
don,  in  Biscay,  laid  claim  to  the  honor  of  his  birth.  Figure  to 
yourself  a  tall  man,  with  the  complexion  of  a  mummy  and  the  bare 
anatomy  of  a  dealer  in  mortification ;  he  might  have  sat  for  the 
penitent  thief  in  a  picture  of  the  crucifixion.  He  scarcely  ever  cast 
a  carnal  glance  towards  us  Magdalens.  You  never  saw  such  a  face 
of  rank  hypocrisy  in  all  your  life,  though  you  have  spent  some  part 
of  it  under  the  same  roof  with  the  archbishop,  and  are  not  unac- 
quainted with  the  clergy  of  his  diocese. 

"  But  to  return  from  this  digression  ;  .  .  .  I  met  this  Signor  Zen- 
dono, who  said  to  me  slyly  as  he  passed,  '  Take  comfort,  my  girl ;  I 
am  sensibly  affected  with  your  wretched  case.'  He  said  no  more, 
and  went  on  his  way,  leaving  me  to  make  my  own  comments  on  so 
concise  and  general  a  text.  As  he  looked  like  a  good  man,  and 
there  was  no  positive  evidence  to  set  against  his  looks,  I  was  sim- 
pleton enough  to  fancy  that  he  had  taken  the  trouble  of  inquiring 
why  I  was  shut  up,  and  meant,  not  finding  me  so  atrocious  a  culprit 
as  to  deserve  such  shameful  insults,  to  take  my  part  with  the  cor- 
regidor. But  I  was  not  up  to  the  tricks  of  the  Biscayan ;  he  had  a 
much  longer  head.  He  was  turning  over  in  his  mind  the  scheme  of 
an  elopement,  and  made  the  proposal  to  me  in  profound  privacy 
some  days  afterwards.  '  My  dear  Laura,'  said  he,  '  your  sufferings 
have  taken  such  deep  possession  of  my  mind  that  I  have  determined 
to  end  them,  I  am  perfectly  aware  that  my  own  ruin  is  involved 
in  the  measure,  but  have  no  choice  when  the  tender  passion  drivea 


874  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

To-morrow  morning  do  I  intend  to  take  you  out  of  prison,  and  con- 
duct you  in  person  to  Madrid.  No  sacrifice  is  too  great  for  the 
pleasure  of  being  your  deliverer.' 

"  1  was  very  near  fainting  with  surprise  and  joy  at  this  promise 
of  Zeudcno,  who,  concluding  from  my  acknowledgments  that  my 
very  life  depended  on  ray  rescue,  had  the  eiFrontery  to  carry  me  off 
next  day  in  the  face  of  the  whole  town,  by  the  following  device: 
He  told  the  lady  abbess  that  he  had  orders  to  take  me  before  the 
corregidor,  who  was  at  his  country  box  a  few  miles  off;  and,  with- 
out betraying  himself  by  a  single  change  of  countenance,  packed 
me  off  with  him  for  my  companion,  in  a  post-chaise  drawn  by  two 
good  mules,  which  he  had  bought  for  the  occasion.  Our  only 
attendant  was  the  driver,  a  servant  of  his  own,  and  entirely  devoted 
to  the  steward  by  stronger  ties  than  those  of  gratitude.  We  began 
bowling  away,  not  in  the  direction  of  Madrid,  as  I  had  taken  for 
granted,  but  towards  the  frontiers  of  Portugal,  whither  we  got  in 
less  time  than  it  took  the  corregidor  of  Zamora  to  receive  the  depo- 
sition of  our  flight,  and  uncouple  his  pack  or  set  them  barking  at 
our  heels. 

"Before  we  entered  Braganza,  the  Biscayan  made  me  put  on 
man's  clothes,  with  which  he  had  taken  the  precaution  of  providing 
himself  Reckoning  on  me  as  being  fairly  launched  in  the  same 
boat  with  him,  he  said  to  me  in  the  inn  where  we  put  up,  *  Lovely 
Laura,  do  not  take  it  unkindly  of  me  to  have  brought  you  into 
Portugal  The  corregidor  of  Zamora  will  make  our  own  country 
too  hot  to  hold  us,  for  in  his  eyes  we  are  two  criminals,  under  the 
weight  of  whose  enormities  it  is  not  for  Spain  to  groan.  But  we 
may  set  his  malice  at  defiance  in  this  distant  realm,  though  at  the 
present  conjuncture  under  the  dominion  of  the  Spanish  monarchy. 
At  least  we  shall  stand  a  better  chance  for  safety  here  than  at  home. 
League  your  fortunes  with  those  of  a  man  who  would  follow  you  in 
prosperity  or  in  adversity  through  the  Avorld.  Let  us  fix  our  resi- 
dence at  Coimbra.  There  I  will  get  employed  as  a  spy  for  the 
Inquisition  ;  under  the  cover  of  that  formidable  tribunal— a  refresh- 
ing shade  for  us,  but  Cimmerian  darkness  to  its  victims — our  days 
will  glide  smoothly  on  in  ease  and  pleasure,  and  we  shall  fatten  on 
the  spoil  of  religious  delinquency.' 

"A  proposal  so  much  to  the  point  gave  me  to  understand  that  I 
had  to  do  with  a  knight  who  had  other  motives  for  officiating  as  the 
guardian  of  distressed  damsels  besides  the  honor  of  chivalry.  I  saw 
at  once  that  he  reckoned  much  on  my  gratitude,  and  still  more  on 
my  distress.  Nevertheless,  though  these  two  pleas  were  almost 
equally  eloquent  in  his  favor,  I  rejected  his  addresses  with  disdain. 
The  reason  was  that  there  were  two  advocates  still  more  eloquent  on 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  375 

the  side  of  a  refusal — a  certainty  that  he  was  disagreeable,  and  a 
strong  suspicion  that  he  was  poor.  But  when  he  returned  to  the 
charge,  and  offered  to  say  the  grace  of  matrimony  before  he  fell  to, 
proving  to  me  at  the  same  time,  by  the  undeniable  evidence  of  cash 
in  hand,  that  his  stewardship  had  enabled  him  to  live  in  clover  for 
a  long  time  to  come,  the  truth  must  come  out  in  spite  of  blushes ; 
my  heart  was  softened,  and  my  ears  unstopped.  I  was  dazzled  by 
the  gold  and  jewels  which  he  laid  out  in  burning  row  before  me,  and 
became  a  living  monument,  in  my  own  person,  that  miraculous 
transformations  are  effected  by  the  power  of  pelf  as  well  as  by  the 
wand  of  love.  My  Biscayan  became,  by  little  and  little,  quite 
another  sort  of  man  in  my  eyes.  His  tall  body  and  bare  bones  were 
plumped  up  into  a  shapely  and  commanding  figure;  his  cadaverous 
complexion  was  improved  into  a  manly  brown  ;  even  that  look,  as 
if  butter  would  not  melt  in  his  mouth,  was  no  longer  hypocrisy,  but 
a  staid  and  decent  respect.  Having  made  these  discoveries,  I  ac- 
cepted his  hand  without  any  material  abhorrence,  and  he  plighted 
the  usual  vows  in  all  due  form.  After  this,  like  a  good  wife,  I  kept 
the  spirit  of  contradiction  as  much  as  possible  under  the  hatches. 
We  resumed  our  journey,  and  Coimbra  soon  received  a  new  family 
within  its  walls. 

"  My  husband  stocked  my  wardrobe  as  became  my  sex  and  station, 
making  me  a  present  of  several  diamonds,  among  which  I  fixed  ray 
eye  on  that  of  Don  Felix  Maldonado.  There  were  no  further  docu- 
ments wanting  to  give  a  shrewd  guess  whence  came  all  the  precious 
stones  I  had  seen,  and  to  be  morally  certain  that  I  had  not  married 
a  troublesomely  nice  observer  of  the  eighth  article  in  the  decalogue. 
Yet  considering  myself  as  the  mainspring  of  all  his  little  deviations 
from  the  strict  law  of  propriety,  it  was  not  for  me  to  judge  harshly 
on  that  point.  A  woman  can  always  find  a  palliation  for  the  mis- 
deeds which  are  set  in  motion  by  the  power  of  her  own  beauty.  But 
for  that,  he  certainly  would  have  ranked  no  higher  than  one  of  the 
wicked  in  my  estimation. 

"  I  had  no  great  reason  to  complain  of  him  for  two  or  three 
months.  His  attentions  were  always  polite  and  kind,  amounting 
apparently  to  a  sincere  and  tender  affection.  But  no  such  thing  I 
These  proofs  of  wedded  love,  this  worshipping  with  the  body,  and 
endowing  with  the  worldly  goods,  were  all  but  a  copy  of  his  coun- 
tenance ;  for  the  cheating  fellow  meant,  as  men  serve  a  cucumber, 
to  throw  me  away  on  the  first  opportunity.  One  morning,  at  my 
return  from  mass,  I  found  nothing  at  home  but  the  bare  walls  ;  the 
movables,  not  excepting  my  own  apparel,  every  stick  and  every 
thread  had  been  carried  off.  Zendono  and  his  faithful  servant  had 
taken  their  measures  so  adroitly,  that  in  less  than  an  hour  the  house 


876  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

had  been  completely  gutted;  so  that  with  nothing  but  the  gown 
upon  my  back,  and  Don  Felix's  ring,  as  good  luck  would  have  it, 
on  my  finger,  here  stood  I,  like  another  Ariadne,  abandoned  by  the 
ungrateful  rifler  of  my  eflfects  as  well  as  of  my  charms.  But  you 
may  take  my  word  for  it,  I  did  not  beguile  the  sense  of  my  misfor- 
tune in  tragedy,  elegy,  scene  individable,  or  poem  unlimited.  I  rather 
fell  upon  my  knees,  and  blessed  my  guardian  angel  for  having  de- 
livered me  from  a  rascal  who  must  sooner  oi;  later  fall  into  the  hands 
of  justice.  The  time  we  had  passed  together  I  considered  in  the 
light  of  a  dead  loss,  and  my  spirits  were  all  on  the  alert  to  make  up 
for  it.  If  I  had  been  inclined  to  stay  in  Portugal,  as  a  hanger-on 
to  some  woman  of  fashion,  I  should  have  found  no  difficulty  in 
suiting  myself;  but  whether  it  was  patriotism,  or  some  astrological 
conjunction,  preparing  a  better  fortune  for  me  under  the  influence 
of  the  planets,  my  whole  heart  was  bent  on  getting  back  into  Spain. 
I  applied  to  a  jeweller,  who  valued  my  diamond  and  gave  me  cash 
for  it,  and  then  took  my  departure  with  an  old  Spanish  lady  who  was 
going  to  Seville  in  a  post-chaise. 

"  This  lady,  whose  name  was  Dorothea,  had  been  to  see  a  relation 
settled  at  Coimbra,  and  was  on  her  return  to  Seville,  where  she 
lived.  There  was  such  a  sympathy  between  us  as  made  us  fast 
friends  on  the  very  first  day  of  our  acquaintance ;  and  the  attach- 
ment grew  so  close  while  we  travelled  together,  that  the  lady  in- 
sisted, at  our  journey's  end,  on  my  making  her  house  my  home.  I 
had  no  reason  to  repent  having  formed  such  a  connection.  Never 
was  there  a  woman  of  a  more  charming  character.  One  might  still 
conclude,  from  the  turn  of  her  countenance,  and  from  the  spirit  not 
yet  quenched  in  her  eyes,  that  in  her  youth  the  catgut  of  many  a 
guitar  must  have  been  fretted  under  her  window.  As  a  proof  of 
this,  she  had  had  ipany  trials  what  a  state  of  widowhood  was ;  her 
husbands  had  all  been  of  noble  birth,  and  her  finances  were  flourish- 
ing on  the  accumulation  of  her  several  jointures. 

"Among  other  admirable  qualities,  she  had  that  of  not  visiting 
severely  the  frailties  of  her  own  sex.  When  I  let  her  into  the 
secret  of  mine,  she  entered  so  warmly  into  my  interests  as  to  speak 
of  Zendono  with  more  sincerity  than  good  manners.  *  What  grace- 
less fellows  these  men  are  !'  said  she,  in  a  tone  from  which  one  might 
infer  that  she  had  met  with  some  light-fingered  steward  in  the  pass- 
ing of  her  accounts.  '  They  would  not  be  worth  picking  off"  a  dung- 
hill, if  one  could  do  without  them !  There  is  a  large  fraternity  of 
Borry  scoundrels  in  the  world,  who  make  it  their  sport  to  gain  the 
hearts  of  women,  and  then  desert  them.  There  is,  however,  one 
consoling  circumstance,  my  dear  child.  According  to  your  account, 
you  are  by  no  means  bound  fast  to  that  faithless  Biscayan.    If  your 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  377 

marriage  with  him  wa3  sufficiently  formal  to  save  your  credit  with 
the  world,  on  the  other  hand,  it  was  contracted  loosely  enough  to 
admit  of  your  trying  your  luck  at  a  better  match,  whenever  an  op- 
portunity may  fall  in  your  way.' 

"I  went  out  every  day  with  Dorothea,  either  to  church  or  to 
visit  among  her  friends ;  both  likely  occasions  of  picking  up  an  ad- 
venture ;  so  that  I  attracted  the  notice  of  several  gentlemen.  There 
were  some  of  them  who  had  a  mind  to  feel  how  the  land  lay.  They 
made  their  proposals  to  my  venerable  protectress ;  but  these  had  not 
wherewithal  to  defray  the  expenses  of  an  establishment,  and  those 
were  mere  unfledged  boys  under  age— an  insuperable  objection, 
which  left  me  very  little  merit  in  turning  a  deaf  ear  to  them. 
One  day  a  whim  seized  Dorothea  and  me  to  go  and  see  a  play  at 
Seville.  The  bills  announced  a  favorite  and  standard  piece:  El 
Embaxador  de  Si-mismo,  written  by  Lope  de  Vega. 

"  Among  the  actresses  who  came  upon  the  stage,  I  discovered  one 
of  my  old  cronies.  It  was  impossible  to  have  forgotten  Phenicia, 
that  bouncing,  good-humored  girl  whom  you  have  seen  as  Flori- 
monde's  waiting-maid,  and  have  supped  with  more  than  once  at 
Arsenia's.  I  was  aware  that  Phenicia  had  left  Madrid  about  two 
years  ago,  but  had  never  heard  of  her  turning  actress.  I  longed  so 
earnestly  to  embrace  her,  that  the  piece  appeared  quite  tedious. 
Perhaps,  too,  there  might  be  some  fault  in  those  who  played  it,  as 
being  neither  good  enough  nor  bad  enough  to  afford  me  entertain- 
ment. For  as  to  my  own  temper,  which  is  that  of  seeking  diversion 
wherever  I  can  find  it,  I  must  confess  that  an  actor  supremely 
ridiculous  answers  my  purpose  just  as  well  as  the  most  finished 
performer  of  the  age. 

"At  last,  the  moment  I  had  been  waiting  for  being  arrived, 
namely,  the  dropping  of  the  curtain  on  this  favorite  and  standard 
piece,  we  went — for  my  widow  would  go  with  me — behind  the 
scenes,  where  we  caught  a  glimpse  of  Phenicia,  who  was  playing  oflF 
the  amiable  and  unaffected  simpleton,  and  listening  with  all  the 
primness  of  studied  simplicity  to  the  sott  chirping  of  a  young  stage- 
finch,  who  had  evidently  suffered  himself  to  be  caught  in  the 
birdlime  of  her  professional  or  meretricious  talents.  No  sooner  did 
her  eye  meet  mine  than  she  quitted  him  with  a  genteel  apology, 
ran  up  to  me  with  open  arms,  and  lavished  upon  me  all  the  demon- 
strations of  strong  attachment  imaginable.  Our  expressions  of  joy 
at  this  unexpected  meeting  were  indeed  reciprocal ;  but  neither  time 
nor  place  admitting  of  any  very  copious  indulgence  in  the  privilege 
of  asking  questions,  we  adjourned  till  the  following  day,  with  a 
promise  of  renewing  our  mutual  inquiries  thick  and  threefold, 
under  the  shelter  of  her  friendly  roof. 


378  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

"The  pleasure  of  talking  is  the  inextinguishable  passion  of 
woman,  coeval  with  the  act  of  breathing.  I  could  not  get  a  wink 
of  sleep  all  night  for  the  burning  desire  of  having  a  grapple  with 
Phenicia,  and  closing  in  upon  her  in  the  conflict  of  curiosity. 
Witness,  all  the  powers  who  preside  over  tattling,  whether  the  love 
of  lying  in  bed — another  passion  of  woman — prevented  me  from 
getting  up  and  flying  to  my  appointment  as  early  as  good  manners 
would  allow.  She  lived  with  the  rest  of  the  company  in  a  large 
ready-furnished  lodging.  A  female  attendant  who  met  me  at 
entrance,  on  being  requested  to  show  me  Phenicia's  apartment,  led 
the  way  up  stairs  to  a  gallery,  along  which  were  ranged  ten  or 
twelve  small  rooms,  divided  only  by  partitions  of  deal  boards,  and 
inhabited  by  this  merry  band.  My  conductress  knocked  at  a  door, 
which  Phenicia  opened ;  for  her  tongue  was  cruelly  on  the  fidget  to 
be  let  loose,  as  well  as  my  own.  We  allowed  ourselves  no  time  for 
the  impertinent  ceremonies  which  usually  usher  in  a  visit,  but 
plunged  at  once  into  a  most  furious  career  of  loquacity.  It  seemed 
as  if  we  should  have  a  tight  bout  together.  There  were  so  many 
interrogatories  to  be  bandied  backwards  and  forwards,  that  question 
and  answer  rebounded  like  tennis-balls,  only  with  tenfold  velocity. 

"  After  having  related  our  adventures  each  to  other,  and  inquired 
into  the  actual  condition  of  affairs,  Phenicia  asked  me  how  I  meant 
to  provide  for  myself  My  reply  was,  that  I  purposed,  while  wait- 
ing for  something  better,  to  get  a  situation  with  some  young  lady 
of  quality.  'For  shame!'  exclaimed  my  other  self;  'you  shall  not 
think  of  such  a  thing.  Is  it  possible,  my  darling,  that  you  should 
not  yet  be  disgusted  with  menial  service?  Are  you  not  heartily 
sick  of  knocking  under  to  the  good  or  ill  pleasure  of  others,  of  being 
cap-in-hand  to  all  their  caprices,  and  after  all  to  be  entertained 
with  that  unchangeable  tune  called  a  scolding — in  a  woi'd,  to  be  a 
downright  slave?  Why  do  not  you  follow  my  example,  and  turn 
your  thoughts  towards  the  stage  ?  Nothing  can  be  better  suited  to 
people  of  parts,  when  they  happen  not  to  be  equally  favored  in  the 
articles  of  wealth  and  birth.  It  is  a  sphere  of  life  which  holds  a 
middle  rank  between  the  nobility  and  mere  tradespeople — a  profes- 
sion exempted  from  all  troublesome  restraint,  and  raised  far  above  the 
common  prejudices  of  humble  and  decent  society.  The  public  are 
our  bankers,  and  we  draw  upon  them  at  sight.  We  live  in  a  con- 
tinual round  of  ecstasy,  and  spend  our  money  to  the  full  as  fast  as 
we  earn  it. 

"'The  theatre* — for  she  went  on  at  a  great  rate — 'is  favorable 
above  all  to  women.  When  I  lived  with  Florimonde, — it  is  a 
misery  to  think  of  it, — I  was  reduced  to  take  up  with  the  super- 
numeraries of  the  prince's  company ;  not  a  single  man  of  fashion 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  379 

paid  the  least  attention  to  my  figure.  How  came  that  about? 
Because  they  never  got  a  glimpse  of  it.  The  finest  picture 
in  the  world  may  escape  the  admiration  of  the  connoisseurs,  if  it  is 
not  placed  in  a  proper  light.  But  since  I  have  been  suitably 
framed  and  varnished,  which  could  only  happen  in  consequence  of 
a  theatrical  finish,  what  a  revolution  !  The  finest  young  fellows  of 
all  the  towns  we  pass  through  are  shufliing  at  my  heels.  An 
actress,  therefore,  has  all  her  little  comforts  about  her,  without 
deviating  from  the  line  of  her  duty.  If  she  is  discreet, — by  which 
we  mean  that  she  should  not  admit  more  than  one  lover  into  her 
good  graces  at  a  time, — her  exemplary  conduct  is  cried  up  as 
without  a  parallel.  She  is  called  a  very  Niobe  for  her  coldness ; 
and  when  she  changes  her  favorite,  she  is  reprimanded  as  slightly 
by  the  world  as  a  lawful  widow  who  marries  a'  few  weeks  too  soon 
after  the  death  of  her  first  husband.  If,  however,  the  widow  should 
look  for  luck  in  odd  numbers,  and  take  to  herself  a  third,  the  con- 
tempt of  all  mankind  is  poured  down  on  her  devoted  head ;  she  is 
considered  as  a  monster  of  indelicacy ;  whereas  we  happier  women 
are  so  much  the  more  in  vogue,  as  we  add  to  the  list  of  our  favor- 
ites. After  having  been  served  up  to  a  hundred  different  lovers, 
some  battered  nobleman  finds  us  a  dainty  dish  for  himself 

" '  Do  you  mean  that  by  way  of  news  V  interrupted  I,  as  she  uttered 
the  last  sentiment.  '  Do  you  imagine  me  to  be  ignorant  of  these 
advantages?  I  have  often  conned  them  over  in  my  mind,  and  they 
are  but  too  alluring  to  a  girl  of  my  character.  The  attractions  of 
the  stage  would  be  irresistible,  were  inclination  all.  But  some  little 
talent  is  indispensable,  and  I  have  not  a  spark.  I  have  sometimes 
attempted  to  rehearse  passages  from  plays  before  Arsenia.  She  was 
never  satisfied  with  my  performance,  and  that  disgusted  me  with  the 
profession.'  'You  are  easily  put  out  of  conceit  with  yourself,'  re- 
plied Phenicia.  '  Do  not  you  know  that  these  great  actresses  are 
very  apt  to  be  jealous  ?  With  all  their  vanity,  they  are  afraid  lest 
some  newer  face  should  put  them  out  of  countenance.  In  short,  I 
would  not  be  guided  by  Arsenia  on  that  subject ;  she  did  not  give 
her  real  opinion.  In  my  judgment,  and  without  meaning  to  flatter 
you,  the  theatre  is  your  natural  element.  You  have  admirable 
powers,  free  and  graceful  action,  a  fine-toned  voice,  volubility  of 
declamation,  and  such  a  turn  of  countenance !  Ah,  you  little 
rogue  I  you  will  bring  all  the  young  fellows  behind  the  scenes,  if 
once  you  take  to  the  boards  !' 

"She  plied  me  with  many  flattering  compliments  besides,  and 
made  me  recite  some  lines,  only  by  way  of  enabling  me  to  form  my 
own  judgment  as  to  my  theatrical  genius.  Now  that  she  was  my 
censor,  it  seemed  quite  another  thing.    She  praised  me  up  to  the 


380  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

skies,  and  held  all  the  actresses  in  Madrid  as  mere  makeweights  in 
the  scale.  After  such  a  testimony,  it  would  have  been  inexcusable 
to  hesitate  about  my  own  merit.  Arsenia  stood  attainted,  nay,  con- 
victed of  jealousy  and  treachery.  There  could  be  no  question  about 
my  being  everything  that  waa  delightful.  Two  players  happened 
to  drop  in  by  accident,  and  Phenicia  prevailed  on  me  to  repeat  the 
lines  I  had  already  spouted;  they  fell  into  a  sort  of  enthusiastic 
trance,  whence  they  were  roused  only  to  launch  out  fervently  in 
admiration  of  me.  Literally,  had  they  all  three  been  flattering  me 
up  for  a  wager,  they  could  not  have  adopted  a  more  extravagant 
scale  of  panegyric.  My  modesty  was  not  proof  against  such  praise 
from  those  who  were  themselves  praised.  I  began  to  think  myself 
really  worthy  of  something ;  and  now  was  my  whole  heart  and  soul 
turned  towards  a  theatrical  life. 

" '  Since  this  is  the  case,'  said  I  to  Phenicia,  '  the  affair  is  deter- 
mined. I  will  follow  your  advice,  and  engage  in  your  company,  if 
they  will  accept  me.'  My  friend,  transported  with  joy  at  this  pro- 
posal, clasped  me  in  her  arms ;  and  her  two  companions  seemed  no 
less  delighted  than  herself  at  finding  me  in  that  humor.  It  was 
settled  that  I  should  attend  the  theatre  on  the  following  day,  in  the 
morning,  and  exhibit  before  the  collected  body  the  same  sample  of 
my  talent  as  I  had  just  displayed.  If  I  had  bought  golden  opinions 
from  Phenicia  and  her  friends,  the  actors  in  general  were  still  more 
complimentary  in,  their  judgment  after  I  had  recited  but  twenty 
lines  before  them.  They  gave  me  an  engagement  with  the  utmost 
willingness.  Then  there  was  nothing  thought  of  but  my  first  ap- 
pearance. To  make  it  as  striking  as  possible,  I  laid  out  all  the 
money  remaining  from  the  sale  of  ray  ring;  and  though  my  funds 
would  not  allow  of  being  splendid  in  my  dress,  I  discovered  the  art 
of  substituting  taste  for  glitter,  and  converting  my  poverty  into  a 
new  grace. 

"  At  length  I  came  out.  What  clapping  of  hands  !  what  general 
admiration !  It  would  he  speaking  faintly,  my  friend,  to  tell  you 
downright  that  the  spectators  were  all  in  an  ecstasy.  You  must 
have  heard  with  your  own  ears  what  a  noise  I  made  at  Seville,  to 
believe  it.  The  whole  talk  of  the  town  was  about  me,  and  the  house 
was  crowded  for  three  weeks  successively ;  so  that  this  novelty  re- 
stored the  theatre  to  its  popularity,  when  it  was  evidently  beginning 
to  decline.  Thus  did  I  come  upon  the  stage,  and  step  into  public 
favor  at  once.  But  to  come  upon  the  stage  with  such  distinction  is 
generally  a  prelude  to  coming  upon  the  town ;  or  at  least  to  putting 
one's  self  up  at  auction  to  the  best  bidder.  Twenty  sparks  of  all 
ages,  from  seventeen  to  seventy,  were  on  the  list  of  candidates,  and 
would  have  worn  me  in  my  newest  gloss.    Had  I  followed  my  own 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  881 

inclination,  I  should  have  chosen  the  youngest,  and  the  most  of  a 
lady's  man  ;  but  in  our  profession,  interest  and  ambition  must  bear 
the  sway,  till  we  have  feathered  our  nest ;  that  is  as  invariable  a 
rule  as  any  in  the  prompt-book.  On  this  principle,  Don  Ambrosio 
de  Nisana,  a  man  in  whom  age  and  uglir^^ss  had  done  their  worst, 
but  rich,  generous,  and  one  of  the  most  powerful  noblemen  in  Anda- 
lusia, had  the  refusal  of  the  bargain.  It  is  true  that  he  paid  hand- 
somely for  it.  He  took  a  fine  house  for  me,  furnished  it  in  the 
extreme  of  magnificence,  allowed  me  a  man  cook  of  the  first  emi- 
nence, two  footmen,  a  lady's  maid,  and  a  thousand  ducats  a  month 
fcfr  my  personal  expenses.  Add  to  all  this  a  rich  wardrobe,  and  an 
elegant  assortment  of  jewels. 

"  What  a  revolution  in  my  affairs !  My  poor  brain  was  completely 
turned.  I  could  not  believe  myself  to  be  the  same  person.  No 
wonder  if  girls  soon  forget  the  meanness  and  misery  whence  some 
man  of  quality  has  rescued  them  in  a  fit  of  caprice.  My  confession 
shall  be  without  reserve :  public  applause,  flattering  speeches,  buzzed 
about  on  every  side,  and  Don  Ambrosio's  passion  kindled  such  a 
flame  of  self-conceit  as  kept  me  in  a  continual  ferment  of  extrava- 
gance. I  considered  my  talents  as  a  patent  of  nobility.  I  put  on 
the  woman  of  fashion,  and  becoming  as  chary  as  I  had  hitherto  been 
lavish  of  my  amorous  challengers,  determined  to  look  no  lower  than 
dukes,  counts,  or  marquises. 

"  My  lord  of  Nisana  brought  some  of  his  friends  to  sup  with  me 
every  evening.  It  was  my  care  to  invite  the  best  companions 
among  our  actresses,  and  we  wore  away  a  good  part  of  the  night  in 
laughing  and  drinking.  I  fell  in  very  kindly  with  so  delicious  a 
life ;  but  it  lasted  only  six  months.  Men  of  rank  are  apt  to  be 
whimsical :  but  for  that  fault,  they  would  be  too  heavenly.  Don 
Ambrosio  deserted  me  for  a  young  coquette  from  Granada,  who  had 
just  brought  a  pretty  person  to  the  Seville  market,  and  knew  how  to 
set  off"  her  wares  to  the  best  advantage.  But  I  did  not  fret  after  him 
more  than  four-and-twenty  hours.  His  place  was  supplied  by  a 
young  fellow  of  two-and-twenty,  Don  Lewis  d'Alcacer,  with  whom 
few  Spaniards  could  vie  in  point  of  face  and  figure. 

"  You  will  ask  me,  doubtless, — and  it  is  natural  to  do  so, — why  I 
selected  so  green  a  sprig  of  nobility  for  my  paramour,  when  my  own 
experience  so  strongly  dissuaded  from  such  a  choice.  But,  besides 
that  Don  Lewis  had  neither  father  nor  mother,  and  was  already  in 
possession  of  his  fortune,  you  are  to  know  that  there  are  no  disa- 
greeable consequences  attaching  to  any  but  girls  in  a  servile  condi- 
tion of  life,  or  those  unfortunate  loose  fish  who  are  game  for  every 
sportsman.  Ladies  of  our  profession  are  privileged  persons ;  we  let 
off  our  charms  like  a  rocket,  and  are  not  answerable  for  the  damage 


382  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

where  they  fall, — so  much  the  worse  for  those  families  whose  heirs 
we  set  in  a  blaze. 

"  As  for  Alcacer  and  myself,  we  were  so  strongly  attached  to  one 
another,  that  I  verily  believe  Love  never  yet  did  such  execution  as 
when  he  took  aim  at  us^  two.  Our  passion  was  of  such  a  violent 
nature  that  we  seemed  to  be  under  the  influence  of  some  spell. 
Those  who  knew  how  well  we  were  together,  thought  us  the  happi- 
est pair  in  the  world ;  but  we,  who  knew  best,  found  ourselves  the 
most  miserable.  Though  Don  Lewis  had  as  fine  an  outside  as  ever 
fell  to  the  lot  of  man,  he  was  at  the  same  time  so  jealous  that  there 
was  no  living  for  vexation  at  his  unfounded  surmises.  It  was  ot 
no  use,  knowing  his  weakness  and  humoring  it,  to  lay  an  embargo 
on  my  looks,  if  ever  a  male  creature  peeped  into  harbor ;  his  suspi- 
cious temper,  seldom  at  a  loss  for  some  crime  to  impute,  rendered 
my  armed  neutrality  of  no  avail.  Our  most  tender  moments  had 
always  a  spice  of  wrangling ;  there  was  no  standing  the  brunt  of  it. 
Patience  could  hold  out  no  longer  on  either  side,  and  we  quarrelled 
more  peaceably  than  we  had  loved.  Could  you  believe  that  the  last 
day  of  our  being  together  was  the  happiest?  Both  being  equally, 
wearied  out  by  the  perpetual  recurrence  of  unpleasant  circum- 
stances, we  gave  a  loose  to  our  transports  when  we  embraced  for  the 
last  time.  We  were  like  two  wretched  captives,  breathing  the  fresh 
air  of  liberty  after  all  the  horrors  of  our  prison-bouse. 

"Since  that  adventure,  I  have  worn  a  breastplate  against  the 
little  archer.  No  more  amorous  nonsense  for  me,  at  least  to  a 
troublesome  excess !  It  is  quite  out  of  our  line  to  sigh  and 
complain  like  Arcadian  shepherdesses.  Those  should  never  give 
way  to  a  passion  in  private  who  hold  it  up  to  ridicule  before  the 
public. 

"  While  these  events  were  passing  in  my  domestic  establishment, 
Fame  had  not  hung  her  trumpet  breathless  on  the  willows;  she 
spread  it  about  universally  that  I  was  an  inimitable  actress.  That 
celestial  tattler,  though  bankrupt  times  out  of  number,  contrives  to 
revive  her  credit ;  the  comedians  of  Granada  therefore  wrote  to  offer 
me  an  engagement  in  their  company ;  and  by  way  of  evidence  that 
the  proposal  was  not  to  be  scorned,  they  sent  me  a  statement  of 
their  daily  receipts  and  disbursements,  with  their  terms,  which 
seemed  to  be  advantageous.  That  being  the  case,  I  closed,  though 
grieved  in  my  heart  to  part  with  Phenicia  and  Dorothea,  whom  I 
loved  as  well  as  woman  is  capable  of  loving  woman.  I  left  the  first 
laudably  employed  in  melting  the  plate  of  a  little  haggling  gold- 
smith, whose  vanity  so  far  got  the  better  of  his  avarice,  that  he  must 
needs  have  a  theatrical  heroine  for  his  mistress.  I  forgot  to  tell  you 
that  on  my  translation  to  the  stage,  from  mere  whim  I  changed  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  DLAS.  383 

name  of  Laura  to  that  of  Estella,  and  it  was  under  the  latter  name 
that  I  took  this  engagement  at  Granada. 

"  My  first  appearance  was  no  less  successful  here  than  at  Seville, 
and  I  soon  felt  myself  wafted  along  by  the  sighs  of  my  admirers. 
But  resolving  not  to  favor  any  except  on  honorable  terms,  I  kept  a 
guard  of  modesty  in  my  intercourse  with  them,  which  threw  dust  in 
their  eyes.  Nevertheless,  not  to  be  the  dupe  of  virtues  which  pay 
very  indifferently,  and  were  not  exactly  at  home  in  their  new  man- 
sion, I  was  balancing  whether  or  not  to  take  up  with  a  young  fellow 
of  mean  extraction,  who  had  a  place  under  government,  and 
assumed  the  style  of  a  gentleman  in  virtue  of  his  office,  with  a  good 
table  and  handsome  equipage,  when  I  saw  the  Marquis  de  Marialva 
for  the  first  time.  This  Portuguese  nobleman,  travelling  over  Spain 
from  mere  curiosity,  stopped  at  Granada  as  he  passed  through  it. 
He  came  to  the  play.  I  did  not  perform  that  evening.  His  exami- 
nation of  the  actresses  was  very  particular,  and  he  found  one  to  his 
liking.  Their  acquaintance  commenced  on  the  very  next  day,  and 
the  definitive  treaty  was  very  nearly  concluded  when  I  appeared 
upon  the  stage.  What  with  some  personal  graces,  and  no  little 
affectation  in  setting  them  off,  the  weathercock  veered  about  all  on 
a  sudden  ;  my  Portuguese  was  mine,  and  mine  only,  till  death  do  us 
part.  Yet,  since  the  truth  must  be  told,  I  knew  perfectly  that  my 
sister  of  the  sock  and  buskin  had  entrapped  this  nobleman,  and 
spared  no  pains  to  chouse  her  out  of  her  prize ;  to  my  success  you 
are  yourself  a  witness.  She  bears  me  no  small  grudge  on  that 
account ;  but  the  thing  could  not  be  avoided.  She  ought  to  reflect 
that  it  is  the  way  of  all  female  flesh— that  the  dearest  friends  play 
off  the  same  trick  upon  one  another,  and  put  a  good  face  upon  it 
into  the  bargain." 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

RECEPTION  OP  GIL  BLAS  AMONG  THE  PLAYERS  AT  GRANADA ;  ANOTHER 
OLD  ACQUAINTANCE  UP  IN  THE  GREEN-ROOM. 

JUST  as  Laura  was  finishing  her  story,  there  came  in  an  old 
actress  who  lived  in  her  neighborhood,  and  was  come  to  take  her 
to  the  theatre  as  she  passed  by.  This  venerable  tutelary  of  the  stage 
was  admirably  fitted  to  play  some  superannuated  strumpet  among 
the  heathen  goddesses  in  a  pantomime.  My  sister  was  not  in  the 
least  remiss  in  introducing  her  brother  to  that  stale  old  harridan^ 


384  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

whereupon  a  profusion  of  compliments  was  bandied  about  on  both 
sides. 

I  left  them  together,  telling  the  steward's  relict  that  I  would  join 
her  again  at  the  playhouse,  as  soon  as  I  had  sent  my  baggage  to  the 
Marquis  de  Marialva's,  to  whose  residence  she  directed  me.  First  I 
went  to  the  room  I  had  hired,  whence,  after  having  settled  with  my 
landlady,  I  repaired  with  a  porter  who  carried  my'luggage  to  a  large 
ready-furnished  house,  where  my  new  master  was  quartered.  At 
the  door  I  met  his  steward,  who  asked  me  if  I  was  not  the  lady 
Estella's  brother.  I  answered  in  the  affirmative.  "  Then  you  are 
welcome,  Signor  Cavalier,"  replied  he.  "  The  Marquis  de  Marialva, 
whose  steward  I  have  the  honor  to  be,  has  commissioned  me  to  re- 
ceive you  properly.  There  is  a  room  got  ready  for  you ;  I  will  show 
you  the  way  to  it,  if  you  please,  that  you  may  be  quite  at  home." 
He  took  me  up  to  the  top  of  the  house,  and  thrust  me  into  so  small 
a  room,  that  a  very  narrow  bed,  a  chest  of  drawers,  and  two  chairs 
completely  filled  it  This  was  my  apartment.  "  You  will  not  have 
much  spare  room,"  said  my  conductor,  "  but,  as  a  set-ofF,  I  promise 
you  that  you  shall  be  superbly  lodged  at  Lisbon."  I  locked  up  my 
portmantua  in  the  wardrobe,  and  put  the  key  in  my  pocket,  asking 
at  the  same  time  what  was  the  hour  of  supper.  The  answer 
was,  that  his  lordship  seldom  supped  at  home,  but  allowed  each 
servant  a  monthly  sum  for  board  wages.  I  put  several  other  ques- 
tions, and  learned  that  the  marquis's  people  were  a  happy  set  of 
idle  fellows.  After  a  conversation  short  and  sweet,  I  left  the 
steward  to  go  and  look  for  Laura,  reflecting,  much  to  my  own 
satisfaction,  on  the  happy  omens  I  drew  from  the  opening  of  my 
new  situation. 

As  soon  as  I  got  to  the  playhouse  door,  and  mentioned  my  name 
as  Estella's  brother,  there  was  free  admission  at  once.  You  might 
liave  observed  the  forwardness  of  the  guards  to  make  way  for  me, 
just  as  if  I  had  been  one  of  the  most  considerable  noblemen  in 
Granada.  All  the  supernumeraries,  doorkeepers,  and  receivers  of 
checks  whom  I  encountered  in  my  progress  made  me  their  very  best 
bows.  But  what  I  should  like  best  to  give  the  reader  an  idea  of  is 
the  serious  reception  which  the  merry  vagrants  gave  me  in  the 
green-room,  where  I  found  the  whole  dramatis  personae  readv 
dressed,  and  on  the  point  of  drawing  up  the  curtain.  The  actors 
and  actresses,  to  whom  Laura  introduced  me,  fell  upon  me  without 
mercy.  The  men  were  quite  troublesome  with  their  greetings ;  and 
the  women,  not  to  be  outdone,  laid  their  plastered  faces  alongside  of 
mine,  till  they  covered  it  with  a  villainous  compound  of  red  and 
white.  No  one  choosing  to  be  the  last  in  making  me  welcome,  they 
all  paid  their  compliments  in  a  breath,    -ffiolus  himself,  answering 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  385 

from  all  the  points  of  the  compass  at  once,  would  not  havB  been  a 
match  for  them  •  but  my  sister  was ;  for  the  loan  of  her  tongue  was 
always  at  the  service  of  a  friend,  and  she  brought  me  completely 
out  of  debt. 

But  I  did  not  get  clear  off  with  the  squeezes  of  the  principal  per- 
formers. The  civilities  of  the  scene-painters,  the  band,  the  prompter, 
the  candle-snuflfer,  and  the  call-boy  were  to  be  endured  with  pa- 
tience ;  all  the  understrappers  in  the  theatre  came  to  see  me  run  the 
gantlet.  One  would  have  supposed  one's  self  in  a  foundling  hos- 
pital, and  that  they  had  none  of  them  ever  known  what  sort  of 
animals  brothers  and  sisters  were. 

In  the  meantime  the  play  began.  Some  gentlemen,  who  were 
behind  the  scenes,  then  ran  to  get  seats  in  the  front  of  the  house : 
for  my  part,  feeling  myself  quite  at  home,  I  continued  in  conversa- 
tion with  those  of  the  actors  who  were  waiting  to  go  on.  Among 
the  number  there  was  one  whom  they  called  Melchior.  The  name 
struck  me.  I  looked  hard  at  the  person  who  answered  to  it,  and 
thought  I  had  seen  him  somewhere.  At  last  I  recollected  that  it 
was  Melchior  Zapata,  a  poor  strolling  player,  who  has  been  de- 
scribed, in  the  first  part  of  this  true  history,  as  soaking  his  crusts 
in  the  pure  element. 

I  immediately  took  him  aside,  and  said,  "  I  am  much  mistaken  if 
you  are  not  that  Signor  Melchior  with  whom  I  had  the  honor  of 
breakfasting  one  day  by  the  margin  of  a  clear  fountain,  between 
Valladolid  and  Segovia.  I  was  with  a  journeyman  barber.  We  had 
some  provisions  with  us  which  we  clubbed  with  yours,  and  all  three 
partook  of  a  little  rural  feast,  to  which  wit  and  anecdote  gave  addi- 
tional relish."  Zapata  bethought  him  for  a  minute  or  two,  and  then . 
answered,  "You  tell  me  of  a  circumstance  which  often  since  came 
across  my  mind.  I  had  then  just  been  trying  my  fortune  at  Madrid, 
and  was  returning  to  Zamora.  I  recollect  perfectly  that  my  affairs 
were  a  little  out  at  elbows."  "  I  recollect  it  too,"  replied  I,  "  by  the 
token  of  a  doublet  which  you  wore,  lined  with  play-bills.  Neither 
have  I  forgotten  that  you  complained  of  having  a  wife  cursed  with 
incorruptible  chastity."  "  O  !  that  misfortune  has  found  its  remedy 
long  ago,"  said  Zapata,  shaking  his  ears.  "  By  all  the  powers  of 
womanhood,  the  jade  has  effectually  reformed  that  virtue  and  given 
me  a  warmer  lining  to  my  doublet." 

I  was  going  to  congratulate  him  on  his  wife's  having  shown  so 
much  sense,  when  he  was  obliged  to  leave  nie  and  go  on  the  stage. 
Being  curious  to  know  what  sort  of  an  animal  his  wife  was,  I  went 
up  to  an  actor  and  desired  him  to  point  her  out.  He  did  so,  saying 
at  the  same  time,  "There  she  is ;  it  is  Narcissa — the  prettiest  of  all 
our  women  except  your  sister."  I  concluded  that  this  must  be  the 
25 


3g6  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

actress  in  whose  favor  the  Marquis  de  Marialva  had  declared  before 
meeting  with  his  Estella;  and  my  conjecture  was  but  too  correct. 
After  the  play,  I  attended  Laura  home,  where  I  saw  several  cooks 
preparing  a  handsome  entertainment.  "You  may  sup  here,"  said 
she.  "  I  will  do  no  such  thing,"  answered  I :  "  the  marquis  perhaps 
will  like  to  be  alone  with  you."  "  Not  at  all,"  replied  she ;  "  he  is 
coming  with  two  of  his  own  friends  and  one  of  our  gentlemen ; 
vou  will  just  make  the  sixth.  You  know  that  in  our  free  and  easy 
way  there  is  no  impropriety  in  secretaries  sitting  down  at  table  with 
their  masters."  "Very  true,"  said  I;  "but  it  is  rather  to  soon  to 
assume  the  privilege  of  a  favorite.  I  must  first  get  employed  in 
some  confidential  commission,  and  then  lay  in  my  claim  to  that 
honorable  distinction."  Judging  it  to  be  so  best,  I  went  out  of 
Laura's  house,  and  got  back  to  my  inn,  whither  I  reckoned  on 
repairing  every  day,  since  my  master  had  no  regular  establish- 
ment. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

AN  KXTEAORDINAEY  COMPANION  AT  SXJPPEB ;  AND  AN  ACCOUNT  OF 
THEIR  CONVERSATION. 

I  REMARKED  in  the  coffee-room  a  sort  of  an  old  monk,  hab- 
ited in  coarse  gray  cloth,  at  supper,  quite  alone  in  a  corner.  I 
went  and  sat  opposite  to  him,  out  of  curiosity ;  we  exchanged  a 
civil  bow,  and  he  showed  himself  to  be  quite  as  well  bred  as  I  was, 
notwithstanding  my  lay  education.  My  commons  were  brought  me, 
and  I  fell  to  it  with  a  very  catholic  appetite.  While  I  was  eating, 
my  tongue  was  mute,  but  my  eyes  glanced  by  snatches  towards  this 
singular  character,  and  always  caught  his  at  the  same  employment. 
Liking  better  to  stare  than  be  stared  at,  I  addressed  my  speech  to 
him  thus :  "  Pray,  father,  have  we  ever  by  any  chance  met  anywhere 
but  here  ?  You  peer  at  me  as  if  you  scarcely  knew  whether  I  was 
an  acquaintance  or  a  stranger."  He  answered  gravely,  "  If  I  look 
at  you  with  fixed  attention,  it  is  only  to  admire  the  prodigious 
variety  of  adventures  which  are  chronicled  in  the  features  of  your 
face."  "It  should  seem,"  said  I,  in  a  joking  tone,  "as  if  your  rev- 
erence were  something  of  a  physiognomist."  "Far  more  deeply 
imbued  in  science  than  a  mere  physiognomist,"  answered  the"monk, 
"I  found  prophecies  on  my  observations  which  have  never  been 
belied  by  the  event.    My  skill  in  palmistry  is  no  less,  and  I  will 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  387 

set  my  oracles  against  the  surest  of  antiquity,  after  comparing  the 
inspection  of  the  hand  with  that  of  the  face." 

Though  this  old  man  had  all  the  appearance  of  profound  wisdom, 
his  talk  was  so  like  that  of  a  madman,  that  I  could  not  help  laugh- 
ing at  him  outright.  So  far  from  being  offended  at  my  want  of  man- 
ners, he  smiled  at  it,  and  went  on  to  the  following  effect,  after  run- 
ning his  eye  round  the  coffee-room,  to  be  assured  that  there  were  no 
listeners :  "  I  am  not  surprised  at  finding  you  so  prejudiced  against 
two  sciences  which  pass  at  this  time  of  day  for  mere  frivolity  ;  the 
long  and  painful  study  they  require  disheartens  the  learned,  who 
turn  their  backs  upon  them,  and  then  swear  that  they  are  fables, 
out  of  disgust  at  having  missed  their  attainment.  For  my  part,  I  am 
not  to  be  frightened  by  the  darkness  which  envelops  them,  any  more 
than  by  the  difficulties  which  are  perpetual  stumbling-blocks  in  the 
pursuit  of  chemical  discoveries,  and  in  the  marvellous  art  of  trans- 
muting baser  metals  into  gold. 

"  But  I  do  flatter  myself,"  pursued  he,  looking  steadfastly  at  me, 
"  that  I  am  addressing  a  young  gentleman  of  good  sense,  to  whom 
my  systems  will  not  appear  altogether  in  the  light  of  idle  dreams. 
A  sample  of  my  skill  will  dispose  you  better  than  the  most  subtile 
arguments  to  pass  a  favorable  judgment  on  my  pretensions."  After 
talking  in  this  manner  he  drew  from  his  pocket  a  vial  full  of  a 
lively-looking  red  liquor,  on  which  he  expatiated  thus :  "  Here  is 
an  elixir  which  I  have  distilled  this  morning  from  the  juices  of  cer- 
tain plants ;  for  I  have  employed  almost  my  whole  life,  like  Demo- 
critus,  in  finding  out  the  properties  of  simples  and  minerals.  You 
shall  make  trial  of  its  virtue.  The  wine  we  are  drinking  with  our 
supper  is  very  bad ;  henceforth  it  will  become  excellent."  At  the 
same  time  he  put  two  drops  of  his  elixir  into  my  bottle,  which 
made  my  wine  more  delicious  than  the  choicest  vintage  of  Spain. 

The  marvellous  strikes  the  imagination ;  and  when  once  that 
faculty  is  enlisted,  judgment  is  turned  adrift.  Delighted  with  so 
glorious  a  secret,  and  persuaded  that  he  must  have  outdeviled  the 
devil  before  he  could  have  got  at  it,  I  cried  out  in  a  paroxysm  of 
admiration,  "  O  reverend  father  1  prithee  forgive  your  servant  if  he 
took  you  at  first  for  an  old  blockhead.  I  now  abjure  my  error. 
There  is  no  need  to  look  further  to  be  assured  that  it  depends  only 
on  your  own  will  to  turn  an  iron  bar  into  a  wedge  of  gold  in  the 
twinkling  of  an  eye.  How  happy  should  I  be  were  I  master  of 
that  admirable  science  !"  "  Heaven  preserve  you  from  ever  acquiring 
it,"  interrupted  the  old  man,  with  a  deep  sigh.  "You  know  not, 
my  son,  what  a  fatal  possession  you  covet.  Instead  of  envying, 
rather  pity  me,  for  having  taken  such  infinite  pains  to  be  made  un- 
happy.   I  am  always  disturbed  in  my  mind.    I  fear  a  discovery ; 


888  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

and  then  perpetual  imprisonment  would  be  the  reward  of  all  my 
labors.  In  this  apprehension  I  lead  a  vagabond  life,  sometimes  dis- 
guised as  a  priest  or  monk,  sometimes  as  a  gentleman  or  a  peasant. 
Where  is  the  benefit  of  knowing  how  to  mauulacture  gold  on  such 
terms  ?  Are  not  the  goods  of  this  world  downright  misery  to  those 
who  cannot  enjoy  them  in  tranquillity?" 

"  What  you  say  appears  to  me  very  sensible,"  said  I  to  the  philo- 
sopher. "  There  is  nothing  like  living  at  one's  ease.  You  have 
rid  me  of  all  hankering  after  the  philosopher's  stone.  I  will  rest 
satisfied  with  learning  from  you  my  future  destiny."  "  With  all  my 
heart,  my  good  lad,"  answered  he.  "  I  have  already  made  my 
remarks  upon  your  features;  now  let  me  see  your  hand."  I  gave  it 
him  with  a  confidence  which  will  do  my  penetration  but  little 
credit  in  the  esteem  of  some  readers.  He  examined  it  very  atten- 
tively, and  then  pronounced,  as  in  a  rapture  of  inspiration,  "  Ah  1 
what  transitions  from  pain  to  pleasure,  and  from  pleasure  to  pain  ! 
What  a  whimsical  alternation  of  good  and  evil  chances !  But  you 
have  already  experienced  the  largest  share  of  your  allotted  reverses. 
You  have  but  few  more  tides  of  misfortune  to  stem,  and  then  a 
great  lord  will  contrive  for  you  an  eligible  fate,  which  shall  not  be 
subject  to  change." 

After  having  assured  me  that  I  might  depend  on  his  prediction, 
he  bade  me  farewell,  and  went  out  of  the  inn,  leaving  me  in  deep 
meditation  on  the  things  I  had  just  heard.  There  could  be  no 
doubt  of  the  Marquis  de  Marialva  being  the  great  lord  in  question ; 
and  consequently  nothing  appeared  more  within  the  verge  of  possi- 
bility than  the  accomplishing  of  the  oracle.  But  though  these  had 
not  been  the  slightest  likelihood,  that  would  have  been  no  hinderance 
to  giving  the  impostor  monk  unbounded  credit,  since  his  elixir  had 
transmuted  my  sour  incredulity  into  the  most  tractable  digestiou  of 
his  falsehoods.  That  nothing  might  be  wanting  on  my  side  to  play 
into  the  hands  of  my  foreboded  luck,  I  determined  to  attach  myself 
more  closely  to  the  marquis  than  I  had  ever  done  to  any  of  my 
masters.  Having  taken  this  resolution,  I  went  home  in  unusually 
high  spirits:  never  did  foolish  woman  descend  in  better  humor 
from  the  garret  of  another  foolish  woman  who  had  told  her  fortune. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  389 


CHAPTER   X. 

THE  MABQUIS  DE  MAKIALVA  GIVES  A  COMMISSION  TO   GIL  BLAS.     HO^ 
THAT  FAITHFUL  SECBETaKY  ACQUITS  HIMSELF  OF  IT. 

THE  marquis  was  not  yet  returned  from  his  theatrical  party, 
and  I  found  his  upper  servants  playing  at  cards  in  his  apart- 
ments while  they  were  waiting  for  his  arrival.  I  got  to  be  sociable 
with  them,  and  we  amused  ourselves  with  jocular  conversation  till 
two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  when  our  master  arrived.  He  was  a 
little  surprised  at  seeing  me,  and  said,  with  an  air  of  kindness, 
which  made  me  conclude  that  he  came  home  very  well  satisfied 
with  his  evening,  "  How  is  this,  Gil  Bias  ?  Are  you  not  gone  to 
bed  yet?"  I  answered  that  I  wished  to  know  first  whether  he  had 
any  commands  for  me.  "  Probably,"  replied  he,  "  I  may  have  a 
commission  to  give  you  to-morrow  morning;  but  it  will  be  time 
enough  then  to  acquaint  you  with  my  wishes.  Go  to  your  own 
room,  and  henceforward  remember  that  I  dispense  with  your  at- 
tendance at  bed-time;  my  other  servants  are  sufficient  for  that 
occasion." 

After  this  hint,  which  was  much  to  my  satisfaction  in  the  main, 
since  it  spared  me  a  slavery  which  I  should  have  felt  very  un- 
pleasantly at  times,  I  left  the  marquis  in  his  apartment,  and 
withdrew  to  my  garret.  I  went  to  bed.  Not  being  able  to  sleep,  it 
seemed  good  to  follow  the  counsel  of  Pythagoras,  and  to  examine 
all  the  actions  of  the  day  by  the  test  of  reason;  to  reprimand 
severely  what  had  been  done  amiss,  and  if  anything  had  been  done 
well,  to  rejoice  in  it. 

On  looking  into  the  day-book  of  my  conscience,  the  balance  was 
not  sufficiently  in  my  favor  to  keep  me  in  good  humor  with  myself. 
I  felt  remorse  at  having  lent  myself  to  Laura's  imposition.  It  was 
in  vain  to  urge,  in  self-defence,  that  I  could  not,  with  any  decency, 
give  the  lie  to  a  girl  who  had  no  object  in  view  but  to  do  me  a 
pleasure,  and  that  I  was  in  some  sort  under  the  necessity  of 
becoming  an  accomplice  in  the  fraud.  This  was  a  paltry  excuse  in 
the  darkness  of  the  night,  for  I  pleaded  against  myself  that  at  all 
events  the  matter  should  be  pushed  no  farther,  and  that  it  was  the 
summit  of  impudence  to  remain  upon  the  establishment  of  a  noble- 
man whose  confidence  I  so  ill  repaid.  In  short,  after  a  severe  trial, 
it  was  agreed  in  my  own  breast  that  I  was  very  little  short  of  an 
arrant  knave. 

But  to  have  done  with  the  morality  of  the  act,  and  pass  on  to  the 
probable  issue,  it  was  evidently  playing  a  desperate  game,  to  cozen 


1. 


390  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

a  man  of  consequence,  who  might  be  enabled,  as  an  instrument  for 
the  visitation  of  my  sins  perhaps,  to  detect  the  imposture  in  its 
very  infancy.  A  reflection  at  once  so  prudent  and  so  virtuous  acted 
as  a  refrigerator  on  my  spirits ;  but  visions  of  pleasure  and  of  in- 
terest soon  raised  them  again  above  the  freezing  point.  Besides, 
the  prophecy  of  the  man  with  the  elixir  would  have  been  enough  to 
put  me  in  heart  once  more.  I  therefore  gave  myself  up  to  the 
indulgence  of  the  most  agreeable  fancies.  All  the  rules  of  arith- 
metic, from  simple  addition  to  compound  interest,  were  set  in  array, 
to  cast  up  what  sura  my  salary  would  amount  to  at  the  end  of  ten 
years'  service.  Then  there  was  a  large  allowance  for  presents  and 
gratuities  from  my  master,  whose  liberal  disposition  according 
admirably  with  my  liberal  desires,  my  imagination  grew  quite 
fantastical,  and  extended  the  landmarks  of  my  fortune  over  in- 
numerable acres  of  unsubstantial  territory.  Sleep  overtook  me  in 
the  calculation,  and  raised  a  magnificent  aerial  mansion  on  the 
estate,  where  a  new  race  of  grandees  was  to  originate.  I  got  up  the 
next  morning  about  eight  o'clock  to  go  and  receive  my  patron's 
orders}  but  as  I  was  opening  my  door  to  go  out,  what  was  my  sur- 
prise at  meeting  him  in  his  wrapping-gown  and  night-cap !  He 
was  quite  alone.  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  on  parting  with  your  sister 
last  night,  I  promised  to  pass  this  morning  with  her;  but  an  affair 
of  consequence  will  not  admit  of  my  keeping  my  word.  Go  and 
assure  her  from  me  that  I  am  deeply  mortified  at  the  disappoint- 
ment, but  that  I  shall  certainly  sup  with  her  to-night.  That  is  not 
all,"  added  he,  putting  a  purse  into  my  hands  and  a  little  shagreen 
case  set  round  with  diamonds ;  "  carry  her  my  portrait,  and  keep 
this  purse  of  fifty  pistoles,  which  I  give  you  as  a  mark  of  my  early- 
conceived  friendship."  I  took  the  picture  in  one  hand,  and  in  the 
other  the  purse  to  which  I  was  so  little  entitled.  I  put  my  best  leg 
foremost  in  my  way  to  Laura,  muttering  to  myself,  in  the  transports 
of  excessive  joy,  "Good!  the  prophecy  is  accomplished  in  the 
twinkling  of  an  eye.  What  a  windfall,  to  be  the  brother  of  a  girl 
so  full  of  beauty  and  attraction  !  It  is  a  pity  the  credit  attached  to 
the  relationship  is  not  commensurate  with  the  lucre  and  the  com- 
fort." 

^  Laura,  unlike  most  women  in  her  profession,  had  a  habit  of  early 
rising.  I  caught  her  at  her  toilet,  where,  while  waiting  for  her 
illustrious  foreigner,  she  was  engrafting  on  her  natural  beauty  all 
the  adventitious  charms  which  the  cosmetic  art  could  supply. 
"  Lovely  Estella !"  said  I,  on  accosting  her,  "  thou  absolute  load- 
stone of  the  tremontanes,  I  may  now  sit  down  at  table  with  my 
master,  since  he  has  honored  me  with  a  commission  which  gives  me 
that  prerogative,  and  which  I  have  just  come  t«  fulfill.    He  cannot 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  391 

have  the  pleasure  of  waiting  on  you  this  morning,  as  he  had  pur- 
posed, but  to  make  you  amends  for  the  disappointment,  he  will  sup 
here  this  evening,  and  sends  you  his  picture,  which,  to  all  appear- 
ance, is  enclosed  in  something  more  valuable  than  itself." 

I  put  the  box  into  her  hand  at  once,  and  the  lively  sparkling  of 
the  brilliants  which  encompassed  it  made  her  eyes  sparkle  and  her 
mouth  water.  She  opened  it  out  of  mere  curiosity,  looked  carelessly 
at  the  painting,  as  people  perform  a  duty  for  which  they  have  little 
relish,  then  shut  it,  and  once  more  fell  greedily  on  the  jewelry. 
Their  beauty  made  her  eloquent,  and  she  said  to  me,  with  the  smile 
of  a  satirist,  "  These  are  copies  which  those  mercenary  things  called 
actresses  value  much  more  highly  than  originals." 

I  next  acquainted  her  that  the  generous  Portuguese,  when  giving 
me  charge  of  the  portrait,  recommended  it  to  my  care  by  a  purse  of 
fifty  pistoles.  "  I  beg  you  will  accept  of  my  congratulations,"  said 
she  ;  "this  nobleman  begins  where  it  is  even  uncommon  for  others 
to  leave  off."  "  It  is  to  you,  my  divine  creature,"  answered  I,  "  that 
this  present  is  owing;  the  marquis  only  made  it  on  the  score  of 
natural  affection."  "  I  could  be  well  pleased,"  replied  she,  "  that  he 
were  to  make  you  a  score  such  presents  every  day.  I  cannot  express 
in  what  extravagance  you  are  dear  to  me.  From  the  first  moment 
of  our  meeting,  I  became  attached  to  you  by  so  strong  a  tie  as  time 
has  not  been  able  to  dissolve.  When  I  lost  you  at  Madrid,  I  did  not 
despair  of  finding  you  again  ;  and  yesterday,  on  your  appearance,  I 
received  you  like  a  deodand.  In  a  word,  my  friend.  Heaven  has 
created  us  for  one  another,  You- shall  be  my  husband;  but  we 
must  get  plenty  of  money  in  the  first  instance.  I  shall  just  lend 
myself  out  to  three  or  four  silly  fellows  more,  and  then  you  may 
live  like  a  gentleman  on  your  means." 

I  thanked  her  in  the  most  appropriate  terms  for  such  an  instance 
of  extreme  condescension  on  my  behalf,  and  we  got  insensibly  into 
a  conversation  which  lasted  till  noon.  At  that  hour  I  withdrew,  to 
go  and  give  my  master  an  account  of  the  manner  in  which  his  pre- 
sent was  received.  Though  Laura  had  given  me  no  instructions 
thereupon,  I  was  not  remiss  in  composing  a  fine  compliment  on  my 
way,  with  which  I  meant  to  launch  out  on  her  part;  but  it  was  just 
so  much  flash  in  the  pan.  For  trhen  I  got  home,  the  marquis  wns 
gone  out,  and  the  Fates  had  decreed  that  I  should  never  see  him 
more,  for  reasons  which  will  be  methodically  stated  in  the  succeed- 
ing chapter. 


!;i^SS£K? 


392  ADVEXTUliES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

CHAPTER  XI. 

A  THUNDERBOLT  TO  GIL  BLAS. 

I  REPAIRED  to  my  inn,  where,  meeting  with  two  men  of  com- 
panionable talents,  I  dined  and  sat  at  table  with  them  till  the 
play  began.  We  parted ;  they  as  their  business  and  desire  pointed 
them,  and,  for  niy  own  part,  my  bent  was  towards  the  theatre.  It 
may  be  proper  to  observe,  by  the  way,  that  I  had  all  possible  reason 
to  be  in  a  good  humor.  The  conversation  with  my  chance  com- 
panions had  been  joyous  in  the  extreme ;  the  color  of  my  fortune 
was  gay  and  animating ;  yet  for  all  that,  I  could  not  help  giving 
way  to  melancholy,  without  either  knowing  why  or  being  able  to 
reason  myself  out  of  it.  It  was,  doubtless  a  prophetic  warning  of 
the  misfortune  which  threatened  me. 

As  I  entered  the  green-room,  Melchior  Zapata  came  up,  and  told 
me  in  a  low  voice  to  follow  him.  He  led  me  to  an  unfrequented 
part  of  the  house,  and  opened  his  business  thus: — "Worthy  sir,  I 
make  it  a  point  of  conscience  to  give  you  a  very  serious  warning. 
You  are  aware  that  the  Marquis  de  Marialva  had  at  first  taken  a 
fancy  to  Narcissa,  my  wife;  he  had  even  gone  so  far  as  to  fix  a  day 
for  trying  the  relish  of  my  rib,  when  that  cockatrice  Estella  con- 
trived to  flyblow  the  bill  of  fare,  and  transfer  the  banquet  to  her 
own  untainted  charms.  Judge,  then,  whether  an  actress  can  be 
gulled  instead  of  gulling,  and  preserve  the  sweetness  of  her  temper. 
My  wife  had  taken  it  deeply  to  heart,  and  there  is  no  species  of 
revenge  to  which  she  would  not  have  recourse.  A  fine  opportunity 
has  offered.  Yesterday,  if  you  recollect,  all  our  supernumeraries 
were  crowding  together  to  see  you.  The  deputy  candle-snuffer  told 
some  of  the  inferior  comedians  that  he  recollected  you  perfectly 
well,  and  that  you  might  be  anything  but  Estella's  brother. 

"  This  report,"  added  Melchior,  "  came  to  Narcissa's  ears  to-day. 
She  lost  no  time  in  questioning  the  author,  and  that  grub  of  the 
interior  stood  to  the  whole  story.  He  says  that  he  knew  you  as 
Arsenia's  servant,  when  Estella  waited  on  her  at  Madrid  under  the 
name  of  Laura.  My  wife,  full  of.  glee  at  this  discovery,  means  to 
acquaint  the  Marquis  de  Marialva  with  it  when  he  comes  to  the 
play  this  evening,  so  take  your  measures  accordingly.  If  you  are 
not  Estella's  brother  in  good  earnest,  I  would  advise  you  as  a  friend, 
and  on  the  score  of  old  acquaintance,  to  make  your  escape  while 
your  skin  is  whole.  Narcissa,  satisfied  in  her  tender  mercy  with 
only  one  victim,  and  that  of  her  own  sex,  has  allowed  me  to  give 
you  this  notice,  that  you  may  outrun  your  ill  luck." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  393 

It  would  have  been  waste  of  words  to  press  the  subject  farther.  I 
returned  thanks  for  the  caution  to  this  fretter  of  his  hour,  who  saw 
by  my  terrified  aspect  that  I  was  not  the  man  to  give  the  deputy 
candle-snuffer  the  lie.  I  did  not  feel  the  least  temptation  to  carry 
my  dangerous  valor  such  a  length.  I  had  not  even  the  heart  to  go 
and  bid  farewell  to  Laura,  for  fear  she  should  insist  on  my  keeping 
up  the  farce.  I  could  easily  conceive  that  so  excellent  an  actress 
might  get  out  of  the  scrape  with  flying  colors ;  but  there  seemed  to 
be  nothing  for  me  short  of  a  swingeing  castigation ;  and  I  was  not 
so  far  gone  in  love  as  to  stand  by  ray  sweetheart  at  the  risk  of  my 
own  person.  I  thought  of  nothing  but  a  precipitate  retreat  with 
my  household  gods,  or  rather  goods,  if  such  a  trumpery  collection 
of  individual  property  might  be  called  so.  I  disappeared  from  the 
play-house  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye;  and,  in  less  time  than  it 
would  have  taken  to  confess  my  sins,  was  my  portmanteau  carried 
off  and  safely  lodged  with  a  muleteer  who  was  to  set  out  for  Toledo 
at  three  o'clock  next  morning.  I  could  have  wished  myself  already 
with  the  Count  de  Polan,  whose  hospitable  roof  seemed  my  only 
safe  asylum.  But  I  was  not  there  yet ;  and  it  was  impossible  to 
think  without  dread  of  the  time  remaining  to  be  passed  in  a  town 
where  I  was  afraid  they  would  hunt  me  out  without  giving  me  a 
night's  law. 

The  smell  of  supper  drew  me  to  my  inn  notwithstanding;  though 
I  was  as  uneasy  as  a  debtor  who  knows  that  a  writ  is  out  against 
him.  My  stomach,  I  believe,  was  not  sufficiently  well  knit  that 
evening  for  my  supper  to  play  its  part  as  it  should  do.  The  miser- 
able sport  of  fear,  I  watched  all  the  people  who  came  into  the 
coffee-room,  and  whenever  by  chance  they  carried  a  gallows  in  their 
physiognomy, — which  is  no  uncommon  ensign  in  such  places  of  re- 
sort,— I  shuddered  with  horrid  forebodings.  After  having  supped 
the  supper  of  the  damned,  I  got  up  from  table  and  returned  to  my 
carrier's  house,  where  I  threw  myself  on  some  clean  straw  till  it  was 
time  to  set  out. 

My  patience  was  well  tried  during  that  interval ;  for  a  thousand 
unpleasant  thoughts  attacked  me  in  all  directions.  If  I  dozed  now 
and  then,  the  enraged  marquis  stood  before  me,  pounding  Laura's 
fair  face  to  a  jelly  with  his  fist,  and  turning  her  whole  house  out  at 
window ;  or,  to  come  nearer  home,  I  heard  him  giving  directions 
for  my  death  under  the  operation  of  a  cudgel.  At  such  a  vision  I 
started  out  of  my  sleep,  and  waking,  which  is  usually  so  pleasant 
after  a  frightful  dream,  inspired  me  with  more  horror  than  even  the 
fictions  of  my  entranced  fancy. 

Happily  the  muleteer  delivered  me  from  so  dire  a  purgatory,  by 
coming  to  acquaint  me  that  his  mules  were  ready.    I  was  immedi- 


394  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

ately  on  my  legs,  and  set  out  radically  cured,  for  which  Heaven  has 
my  best  thanks,  of  Laura  and  the  occult  sciences.  As  we  got  far- 
ther from  Granada,  my  mind  recovered  its  tone.  I  began  chatting 
with  the  muleteer,  laughed  at  his  droll  stories,  and  insensibly  lost 
all  my  apprehensions.  I  slept  undisturbed  at  Ubeda,  where  we  lay 
the  first  night,  and  on  the  fourth  day  we  got  to  Toledo.  My  first 
care  was  to  inform  myself  of  the  Count  de  Polan's  residence, 
whither  I  repaired  under  the  full  persuasion  that  he  would  not 
suflTer  me  to  lodge  elsewhere.  But  I  reckoned  without  my  host. 
There  was  no  one  at  home  but  a  person  to  take  care  of  the  house, 
who  told  me  that  his  master  was  just  gone  to  the  castle  of  Leyva, 
having  been  sent  for  on  account  of  Seraphina's  dangerous  illness. 

The  count's  absence  was  altogether  unexpected :  here  was  no 
longer  any  inducement  to  stay  at  Toledo,  and  all  my  plans  were 
changed  at  once.  Finding  myself  so  near  Madrid,  I  resolved  to  go 
thither.  It  came  into  my  head  that  I  might  make  my  way  at  court, 
where  talents  of  the  first  order,  as  I  had  heard,  were  not  absolutely 
necessary  to  fill  situations  of  the  first  consequence.  On  the  very 
next  morning  I  took  advantage  of  back  carriage,  to  be  set  down  in 
the  renowned  capital  of  Spain.  Fortune  took  me  kindly  by  the 
hand,  and  introduced  me  to  a  higher  cast  of  parts  than  those  I  had 
hitherto  filled. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

GIL  BLAS  TAKES    LODGINGS    IK  A  READY-FUENISHED  HOUSE.     HE  GETS 
ACQUAINTED  WITH   CAPTAIN  CHINCHILLA. 

ON  my  first  arrival  at  Madrid,  I  fixed  my  headquarters  in  a 
lodging-house,  where  resided,  among  other  persons,  an  old 
captain,  who  was  come  from  the  distant  part  of  New  Castille,  to 
solicit  a  pension  at  court,  and  he  thought  his  claims  but  too  well 
founded.  His  name  was  Don  Annibal  de  Chinchilla.  It  was  not 
without  much  staring  that  I  saw  him  for  the  first  time.  He  was  a 
man  of  about  sixty,  of  gigantic  stature,  and  of  anatomical  leanness. 
His  whiskers  were  like  brushwood,  fencing  off  the  two  sides  of  his 
face  as  high  as  his  temples.  Basides  that,  he  was  short  in  his  reck- 
oning by  an  arm  and  a  leg;  there  was  a  vacancy  for  an  eye,  which 
Polypheme  would  have  supplied  as  he  did,  had  patches  of  green  silk 
been  then  in  the  fashion  ;  and  his  features  were  hacked  suflSciently 
to  illustrate  a  treatise  of  geometry.     With  these  exceptions,  his  con- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  895 

figuration  was  much  like  that  of  another  man.  As  to  his  mental 
qualities,  he  was  not  altogether  without  understanding ;  and  what 
he  wanted  in  quickness  he  made  up  by  gravity.  His  principles 
were  rigid  in  the  extreme ;  and  it  was  his  particular  boast  to  be 
delicate  on  the  point  of  honor. 

After  two  or  three  interviews,  he  distinguished  me  by  his  confi- 
dence. I  soon  got  into  all  his  personal  history :  he  related  on  what 
occasions  he  had  left  an  eye  at  Naples,  an  arm  in  Lombardy,  and  a 
leg  in  the  Low  Countries.  The  most  admirable  circumstance  in  all 
his  narratives  of  battles  and  sieges  was,  that  not  a  single  feature  of 
the  swaggerer  peeped  out ;  not  a  word  escaped  him  to  his  own  honor 
and  glory  ;  though  one  could  readily  have  forgiven  him  for  making 
some  little  display  of  the  half  which  was  still  extant  of  himself,  a.s 
a  set-oflF  against  the  dilapidations  which  had  deducted  so  largely 
from  the  usual  contexture  of  a  man.  Officers  who  return  from  their 
campaigns  without  a  scratch  upon  their  skins,  or  a  love-lock  out  of 
place,  are  not  always  so  humble  in  their  pretensions. 

But  he  told  me  that  what  gave  him  most  uneasiness  was  the 
having  wasted  a  considerable  portion  of  his  private  fortune  on 
military  objects,  so  that  he  had  not  more  than  a  hundred  ducats  a 
year  left — a  poor  establishment  for  such  a  pair  of  whiskers,  a  gentle- 
man's lodging,  and  an  amanuensis  to  multiply  memorials  by  whole- 
sale. "  For,  in  point  of  fact,  my  worthy  friend,"  added  he,  shrugging 
his  shoulders,  "  I  present  one,  with  a  blessing  on  my  endeavors,  every 
day,  and  the  last  meets  with  the  same  attention  as  the  first.  You 
would  say  that  it  was  an  even  bet  between  the  prime  minister  and 
me,  which  of  us  two  shall  be  tired  first,  the  memorialist  or  the  re- 
ceiver of  the  memorials.  I  have  often  had  the  honor,,  too,  of  ad- 
dressing the  king  on  the  same  subject ;  but  the  rector  and  his  curate 
say  grace  in  the  same  key;  and  in  the  meantime  my  castle  of  Chin- 
chilla is  falling  to  ruin  for  want  of  necessary  repairs." 

"Faint  heart  never  won  f^jr  lady,"  said  I,  most  wisely,  to  the 
captain  ;  "  you  are  perhaps  on  the  eve  of  finding  all  your  marches 
and  countermarches  repaid  with  usury."  "  I  must  not  flatter  myself 
with  that  pleasing  expectation,"  answered  Don  Annibal.  "  It  is  but 
three  days  since  I  spoke  to  one  of  the  minister's  secretaries;  and  if 
I  am  to  tnist  his  representations,  I  have  only  to  hold  up  my  head 
and  look  big."  "  What,  then,  did  he  say  to  you  ?"  replied  I.  "  Had 
those  poor  dumb  mouths,  your  wounds,  no  eloquence  to  wring  a 
hireling  pittance  for  their  profuse  expense  of  blood?"  "You  shall 
judge  for  yourself,"  resumed  Chinchilla.  "This  secretary  told  me 
in  good  plain  terms,  '  My  honest  friend,  you  need  not  boast  so  much 
of  your  zeal  and  your  fidelity  ;  you  have  only  done  your  duty  in  ex- 
posing yourself  to  danger  for  your  country.    Naked  glory  is  the 


396  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

true  and  honorable  recompense  of  gallant  actions,  and  as  such  is 
the  prize  at  which  a  Spaniard  aims.  You  therefore  argue  on  false 
principles,  if  you  consider  the  bounty  you  solicit  as  a  debt.  In  case 
it  should  be  granted,  you  will  owe  that  favor  exclusively  to  the  royal 
goodness,  which,  in  its  extreme  condescension,  requites  those  of  its 
subjects  who  have  served  the  state  valiantly.'  Thus  you  see,"  pur- 
sued the  captain,  "  that  if  I  had  a  hundred  lives,  they  are  all  pledged, 
and  that  I  am  likely  to  go  back  as  hungry  as  I  came." 

A  brave  man  in  distress  is  the  most  touching  object  in  this  world. 
I  exhorted  him  to  stick  close,  and  offered  to  write  his  memorials  out 
fair  for  nothing.  I  even  went  so  far  as  to  open  my  purse  to  him, 
and  to  beg  it  as  a  favor  that  he  would  draw  upon  me  for  whatever 
he  wanted.  But  he  was  not  one  of  those  folks  who  never  wait  to  be 
asked  twice  on  such  occasions.  So  much  the  reverse,  that  with  a 
commendable  delicacy  on  the  subject,  he  thanked  me  for  my  kind- 
ness, but  refused  it  peremptorily.  He  afterwards  told  me  that,  for 
fear  of  sponging  upon  any  one,  he  had  accustomed  himself,  by  little 
and  little,  to  live  with  such  sobriety,  that  the  smallest  quantity  of 
food  was  sufficient  for  his  subsistence ;  which  was  but  too  true.  His 
daily  fare  was  confined  to  vegetables,  by  dint  whereof  his  component 
parts  were  confined  to  skin  and  bone.  That  he  miglit  have  no  wit- 
nesses how  ill  he  dined,  he  usually  shut  himself  up  in  his  chamber 
at  that  meal.  I  prevailed  so  far  with  him,  however,  by  repeated 
entreaties,  as  to  obtain  that  we  should  dine  and  sup  together;  then, 
undermining  his  pride  by  little  indirect  artifices  of  compassion,  I 
ordered  more  provision  and  wine  than  I  could  consume  to  my  own 
share.  I  pressed  him  to  eat  and  drink.  At  first  he  made  difficulties 
about  it;  but  in  the  end  there  was  no  resisting  my  hospitality. 
After  a  time,  his  modesty  becoming  fainter  as  his  diet  was  more 
flush,  he  helped  me  off  with  my  dinner  and  lightened  my  bottle 
almost  without  asking. 

One  day,  after  four  or  five  glasses,  when  his  stomach  had  renewed 
its  intimacy  with  a  more  generous  system  of  feeding,  he  said  to  me 
with  an  air  of  gayety,  "  Upon  my  word,  Signor  Gil  Bias,  you  have 
very  winning  ways  with  you;  you  make  me  do  just  whatever  you 
please.  There  is  something  so  hearty  in  your  welcome  as  to  relieve 
me  from  all  fear  of  trespassing  on  your  generous  temper."  My 
captain  seemed  at  that  moment  so  entirely  to  have  got  rid  of  his 
bashfulness,  that  if  I  had  been  in  the  humor  to  have  seized  the 
lucky  moment,  and  to  have  pressed  my  purse  once  more  on  his 
acceptance,  I  am  much  mistaken  if  he  would  have  refused  it.  I 
did  not  put  him  to  the  trial,  but  rested  satisfied  with  having  made 
him  my  messmate,  and  taken  the  trouble  not  only  to  copy  out  his 
memorials,  but  to  assist  him  in  their  composition.   By  dint  of  having 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  397 

written  homilies  out  fair,  I  had  learned  the  knack  of  phraseology, 
and  was  become  a  sort  of.  author.  The  old  officer,  on  his  side,  had 
some  little  vanity  about  writing  well.  Both  of  us  thus  contending 
for  the  prize,  the  bursts  of  eloquence  would  have  done  honor  to  the 
most  celebrated  professors  of  Salamanca.  But  it  was  in  vain  that 
we  sat  on  opposite  sides  of  the  table,  and  drained  our  genius  to  the 
very  dregs,  to  nourish  the  flowers  of  rhetoric  in  these  memorials ; 
you  might  as  well  have  planted  an  orange-grove  on  the  sea-beach. 
In  whatever  new  light  we  placed  Don  Annibal's  services,  it  was  all 
the  same  at  court ;  the  connoisseurs  were  decided  about  their  merit ; 
so  that  the  battered  veteran  had  no  reason  to  sing  the  praises  of  that 
spirit  which  leads  officers  on  to  spend  their  family  estates  in  the 
service.  In  the  virulence  of  his  spleen  he  cursed  the  planet  under 
which  he  was  born,  and  sent  Naples,  Lombardy,  and  the  Low  Coun- 
tries to  the  devil. 

That  his  mortification  might  be  pressed  down  and  running  over, 
it  happened  to  his  face. one  day  that  a  poet,  introduced  by  the  Duke 
of  Alva,  having  recited  a  sonnet  before  the  king  on  the  birth  of  an 
infanta,  was  gratified  with  a  pension  of  five  hundred  ducats.  I 
believe  the  lop-limbed  captain  would  have  gone  raving  mad  at  it,  if 
I  had  not  taken  some  pains  to  recompense  his  spirit.  "  What  is  the 
matter  with  you?"  said  I,  seeing  him  quite  beside  himself.  "There 
is  nothing  in  all  this  which  ought  to  go  so  terribly  against  the 
grain.  Ever  since  Mount  Parnassus  swelled  above  the  subject 
plain,  have  not  poets  pleaded  the  privilege  of  laying  princes  under 
contribution  to  their  muse  ?  There  is  not  a  crowned  head  in  Chris- 
tendom that  has  not  substituted  a  pensioned  laureate  for  the  house- 
hold fool  of  less  refined  times.  And  between  ourselves,  this  species 
of  patronage,  for  the  most  part,  galloping  down  full  drive  to  poster- 
ity on  the  saddle  of  Pegasus,  raises  a  hue  and  cry  in  honor  of  royal 
munificence;  but  bounty  to  persons  who  are  lost  in  a  crowd,  however 
deserving,  adds  nothing  to  the  bulk  or  stature  of  posthumous  renown. 
Augustus  must  have  drained  his  treasury  by  gratuities,  and  yet  how 
few  of  the  names  on  his  pension  list  have  come  down  to  us  I  But 
distant  ages  shall  be  informed,  as  we  are,  in  all  the  hyperbole  of 
poetic  diction,  that  his  benefits  descended  on  Virgil  like  the  rain 
from  heaven,  whose  drops  arithmetic  has  no  combination  to  count, 
no  principles  by  which  to  reason  on  their  number." 

But  let  me  talk  ever  so  classically  to  Don  Annibal,  there  was  a 
confounded  acidity  in  that  sonnet  which  curdled  all  the  milky  in- 
gredients of  his  moral  composition  ;  it  was  impossible  to  chew, 
swallow,  and  digest  such  food  with  human  organs;  and  he  was  fully 
determined  to  give  the  matter  up  at  once.  It  seemed  right,  never- 
theless, by  way  of  playing  for  his  last  stake,  to  present  one  more 


398  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

memorial  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  and  if  that  failed  there  was  an  end 
of  the  game.  For  this  purpose  went  together  to  the  prime  minister's. 
There  we  met  a  young  man,  who,  after  saluting  the  captain,  said  to 
him  in  a  tone  of  affection,  "  My  old  and  dear  master,  is  it  your  own 
self  that  I  see?  What  business  brings  you  to  this  mart  of  favor? 
If  you  have  occasion  for  any  one  to  speak  a  good  word  for  you,  do 
not  spare  my  lungs ;  they  are  entirely  at  your  service."  "  How  is 
this,  Pedrillo?"  answered  the  officer;  "to  hear  you  talk,  it  should 
seem  as  if  you  held  some  important  post  in  this  house."  "  At  least," 
replied  the  young  man,  "  I  have  influence  enough  here  to  put  an 
honest  rustic  like  you  into  the  right  train."  "  That  being  the  case," 
resumed  the  captain,  with  a  smile,  "  I  place  myself  under  your  pro- 
tection." "I  accept  the  pledge,"  rejoined  Pedrillo.  "You  have 
only  to  acquaint  me  with  your  particular  taste,  and  I  engage  to  give 
you  a  savory  slice  out  of  the  ministerial  pasty." 

We  had  no  sooner  opened  our  minds  to  this  young  fellow,  so  full 
of  kind  assurances,  than  he  inquired  where  Don  Annibal  resided ; 
then,  promising  that  we  should  hear  from  him  on  the  following  day, 
he  vanished  without  informing  us  what  he  meant  to  do,  or  even 
telling  us  whether  he  belonged  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  household. 
I  was  curious  to  know  what  this  Pedrillo  was,  whose  turn  of  mind 
appeared  to  be  so  brisk  and  active.  "  He  is  a  brave  lad,"  said  the 
captain,  "  who  waited  on  me  some  years  ago,  but  finding  me  out  at 
elbows,  went  away  in  search  of  a  better  service.  There  was  no 
offence  to  me  in  all  that;  it  is  very  natural  to  change  when  one  can- 
not be  worse  off".  The  creature  is  pleasant  enough,  not  deficient  in 
parts,  and  happy  in  a  spirit  of  intrigue  which  would  wheedle  with 
the  devil.  But  notwithstanding  all  his  fine  pretence,  I  am  not  san- 
guine in  my  reckoning  on  the  zeal  he  has  just  testified  for  me." 
"  Perhaps,"  said  I,  "  there  may  be  some  plausibility  in  his  designs. 
Should  he  be  a  retainer,  for  example,  to  any  of  the  duke's  principal 
officers,  it  will  be  in  his  power  to  serve  you.  You  have  lived  too 
long  in  the  world  not  to  know  that  in  great  houses  everything  is 
done  by  party  and  cabal ;  that  the  masters  are  governed  by  two  or 
three  upper  servants  about  their  persons,  who  in  their  turn  are  gov- 
erned by  that  multitude  of  menials  attendant  upon  them." 

On  the  next  morning  we  saw  Pedrillo  at  our  breakfast-table. 
'  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  "  if  I  did  not  explain  myself  yesterday  as  to 
my  means  of  serving  Captain  Chinchilla,  it  was  because  we  were  not 
in  a  place  where  such  a  communication  could  be  made  with  safety. 
Besides,  I  was  disposed  to  ascertain  whether  the  thing  was  feasible 
before  you  were  made  parties  in  it.  Understand,  then,  that  I  am 
the  confidential  servant  of  Signor  Don  Rodrigo  de  Calderona,  the 
Duke  of  Lerma's  first  secretary.    My  master,  who  is  much  addicted 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  399 

to  women,  goes  almost  every  evening  to  sup  with  a  little  Arragonian 
nightingale,  whom  he  keeps  in  a  cage  near  the  purlieus  of  the  court. 
She  is  quite  a  young  girl  from  Albarazin,  a  most  lovely  creature. 
She  has  some  wit  as  well  as  beauty,  and  sings  enchantingly ;  they 
call  her  the  Spanish  Siren.  I  am  the  bearer  of  some  tender  inquiries 
every  morning,  and  am  just  come  from  her.  I  have  proposed  to  her 
to  pass  off  Signor  Don  Annibal  for  her  uncle,  and  the  object  of  the 
forgery  is  to  engage  her  lover  in  his  interests.  She  is  very  willing 
to  lend  her  aid  in  the  business.  Besides  some  little  commission  to 
which  she  looks  forward  on  the  profits,  it  will  tickle  her  vanity  to  be 
taken  for  the  niece  of  a  military  man." 

Signor  de  Chinchilla  looked  very  grim  at  this  suggestion.  He 
declared  his  extreme  abhorrence  of  becoming  a  party  concerned  in 
a  mere  swindling  trick,  and  still  more  of  adopting  a  female  adven- 
turer, no  better  than  she  should  be,  into  his  family,  and  thus  cast- 
ing a  stain  upon  its  immaculate  purity.  It  was  not  only  for  himself 
that  he  felt  all  this  soreness ;  there  was  a  recoil  of  ignominy  on  his 
ancestors,  which  would  lay  their  honors  level  with  the  dust.  This 
morbid  delicacy  seemed  out  of  season  to  Pedrillo,  who  could  not 
help  expressing  his  contempt  of  it  thus  :  "  You  must  surely  be  out  of 
your  wits  to  take  the  matter  up  on  that  footing.  A  fine  market  you 
bring  your  morals  to,  you  dictators  from  the  plough,  with  your  ridi- 
culous squeamishness !  Now  you  seem  a  good  sensible  man,"  appeal- 
ing to  me  as  he  spoke  these  last  words.  "  Can  you  believe  your  ears 
when  you  hear  such  scruples  advanced  ?  Heaven  defend  us  I  At 
court,  of  all  the  places  in  the  world,  to  look  at  morals  through  a 
microscope  I  Let  Fortune  come  under  what  haggard  form  she  may, 
they  hug  her  in  their  arms,  and  swear  she  is  a  beauty." 

My  way  of  thinking  was  precisely  with  Pedrillo,  and  we  dinned 
it  so  stoutly  into  both  the  captain's  ears,  as  to  make  him  the  Spanish 
Siren's  uncle  against  nature  and  inclination.  When  we  had  so  far 
prevailed  over  his  pride,  we  all  three  set  about  drawing  up  a  new 
memorial  for  the  minister,  which  was  revised,  with  a  copious  inter- 
lacing of  additions  and  corrections.  I  then  wrote  it  out  fair,  and 
Pedrillo  carried,  it  to  the  Arragonian  chantress,  who  that  very 
evening  put  it  into  the  hands  of  Signor  Don  Rodrigo,  telling  her 
story  so  artlessly  that  the  secretary,  really  supposing  her  the  cap- 
tain's niece,  promised  to  take  up  his  case.  A  few  days  afterwards 
we  reaped  the  fruits  of  our  little  project.  Pedrillo  came  back  to 
our  house  with  the  lofty  air  of  a  benefactor.  "  Good  news,"  said  he 
to  Chinchilla.  "  The  king  is  going  to  make  a  new  grant  of  officers, 
places,  and  pensions ;  nor  will  your  name  be  forgotten  in  the  list. 
But  I  am  specially  commissioned  to  inquire  what  present  you 
purpose  making  to  the  Spanish  Siren,  for  the  piper  must  be  paid. 


400  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

As  to  myself,  I  vow  and  protest  that  I  will  not  take  a  farthing ;  the 
pleasure  of  having  contributed  to  patch  up  my  old  master's  broken 
fortunes  is  more  to  me  than  all  the  ingots  of  the  Indies.  But  it  is 
not  precisely  so  with  our  nymph  of  Albarazin ;  she  has  a  little 
Jewish  blood  to  plead  when  the  Christian  precept  of  loving  her 
neighbor  as  herself  is  preached  up  to  her.  She  would  pick  her 
own  natural  father's  pocket ;  so  judge  you  whether  she  would  be 
above  making  a  bargain  with  a  travelling  uncle." 

"  She  has  only  to  name  her  own  terms,"  answered  Don  Annibal. 
"Whatever  my  pension  may  be,  she  shall  have  the  third  of  it 
annually  if  she  pleases ;  I  will  pledge  my  word  for  it :  and  that 
proportion  ought  to  satisfy  her  craving,  if  his  Catholic  Majesty  had 
settled  his  whole  exchequer  on  me."  "  I  would  as  soon  take  your 
word  as  your  bond,  for  my  own  part,"  replied  the  nimble-footed 
messenger  of  Don  Eodrigo ;  "  I  know  that  it  will  stand  the  assay ; 
but  you  have  to  deal  with  a  little  creature  who  knows  herself,  and 
naturally  supposes  that  she  knows  all  the  rest  of  the  world  by  the 
same  token.  Besides,  she  would  like  better  to  take  it  in  the  lump  ; 
two-thirds  to  be  paid  down  in  ready  money."  "Why,  how  the 
devil  does  she  mean  that  I  should  get  the  wherewithal?"  bawled 
the  captain,  in  a  quandary.  "  Does  she  take  me  for  an  auditor  of 
public  accounts,  or  treasurer  to  a  charity  ?  You  cannot  have  made 
her  acquainted  with  my  circumstances."  "  Yes,  but  I  have," 
replied  Pedrillo ;  "  she  knows  very  well  that  you  are  poorer  than 
Job ;  after  what  she  has  heard  from  me  she  could  think  no  other- 
wise. But  do  not  make  yourself  uneasy ;  my  brain  is  never  at  a 
loss  for  an  expedient.  I  know  an  old  scoundrel  of  a  usurer,  who 
will  take  ten  per  cent,  if  he  can  get  no  more.  You  must  assign 
your  first  year's  pension  to  him,  in  acknowledgment  for  a  like 
valuable  consideration  from  him,  which  you  will  in  point  of  fact 
receive,  only  deducting  the  above-mentioned  interest.  As  to 
security,  the  lender  will  take  your  castle  at  Chinchilla,  for  want  of 
better ;  there  will  be  no  dispute  about  that." 

The  captain  declared  his  readiness  to  accept  the  terms,  in  case 
of  his  being  so  fortunate  as  to  possess  any  beneficial  interest  in  the 
good  things  to  be  given  away  the  next  morning.  It  happened 
accordingly.  He  got  a  government  with  a  pension  of  three  hundred 
pistoles.  As  soon  as  the  news  came,  he  signed  and  sealed  as 
required,  settling  his  little  concerns  in  town,  and  went  off  again  for 
New  Castille  with  a  balance  of  some  few  pistoles  in  his  favor. 


I^5ia^^ 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  401 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

GIL  BLAS   COMES  ACROSS  HIS  DEAR  FRIEND    FABRICIO  AT  COTTBT. 
GREAT  ECSTASY  ON  BOTH  SIDES. 

I  HAD  contracted  a  habit  of  going  to  the  royal  palace  every 
morning,  where  I  lounged  away  two  or  three  good  hours  in 
seeing  the  good  people  pass  to  and  fro ;  but  their  aspect  was  less 
imposing  there  than  in  other  places,  as  the  lesser  stars  turn  pale  la 
the  presence  of  the  sun. 

One  day,  as  I  was  walking  back  and  fore,  and  strutting  about  the 
apartments,  making  about  as  wise  a  figure  there  as  my  neighbors,  I 
spied  out  Fabricio,  whom  I  had  left  at  Valladolid  in  the  service  of  a 
hospital  director.  It  surprised  me  not  a  little  that  he  was  chatting 
familiarly  with  the  Duke  of  Medina  Sidonia  and  the  Marquis  of 
Santa  Cruz.  Those  two  noblemen,  if  my  senses  did  not  deceive 
me,  were  listening  with  admiration  to  his  prattle.  To  crown  the 
whole,  he  was  as  handsomely  dressed  as  a  grandee. 

Surely  I  must  be  mistaken  !  thought  I.  Can  this  possibly  be  the 
son  of  Nunez  the  barber?  More  likely  it  is  some  young  courtier 
who  bears  a  strong  resemblance  to  him.  But  my  suspense  was  of  no 
long  duration.  The  party  broke  up,  and  I  accosted  Fabricio.  He 
knew  me  at  once ;  took  me  by  the  hand,  and  after  pressing  through 
the  crowd  to  get  out  of  the  precincts,  said,  with  a  hearty  greeting, 
"  My  dear  Gil  Bias,  I  am  delighted  to  see  you  again.  What  are 
you  doing  at  Madrid?  Are  you  still  at  service?  Some  place 
about  the  court,  perhaps  ?  How  do  matters  stand  with  you  ?  Let 
me  into  the  history  of  all  that  has  happened  to  you  since  your 
precipitate  flight  from  Valladolid."  "  You  ask  a  great  many  ques- 
tions in  a  breath,"  replied  I ;  "  and  we  are  not  in  a  fit  place  for 
story -telling."  "  You  are  in  the  right,"  answered  Tie ;  "  we  shall  be 
better  at  home.  Come,  I  will  show  you  the  way  j  it  is  not  far  hence. 
I  am  quite  my  own  master,  with  all  my  comforts  about  me;  per- 
fectly easy  as  to  the  main  chance,  witlj  a  light  heart  and  a  happy 
temper ;  because  I  am  determined  to  see  everything  on  the  bright 
side." 

I  accepted  the  proposal,  and  Fabricio  escorted  me.  We  stopped 
at  a  house  of  magnificent  appearance,  where  he  told  me  that  he 
lived.  There  was  a  court  to  cross  ;  on  one  side  it  had  a  grand  stair- 
case leading  to  a  suite  of  state  apartments,  and  on  the  other  a  small 
flight,  dark  and  narrow,  whither  we  betook  ourselves  to  a  residence 
elevated  in  a  different  sense  from  what  he  had  boasted.  It  consisted 
of  a  single  room,  which  my  contriving  friend  had  divided  into  four 
26 


402  ADVENTURES  OF  GIJL  BIAS. 

by  (leal  partitions.  The  first  served  as  an  antechamber  to  the 
second,  where  he  lay ;  of  the  third  he  made  his  closet,  of  the  last  his 
kitchen.  The  chamber  and  antechamber  were  papered  with  maps, 
and  many  a  sheet  of  philosophical  discussion ;  nor  was  the  furniture 
by  any  means  unsuitable  to  the  hangings.  There  was  a  large 
brocade  bed,  much  the  worse  for  wear;  tawdry  old  chairs,  with 
coarse  yellow  coverings,  fringed  with  Granada  silk  of  the  same 
color ;  a  table  with  gilt  feet,  and  a  cloth  over  it  that  once  a.spired  to 
be  red,  bordered  with  tinsel  and  embroidery,  tarnished  by  that  old 
corroder  Time ;  also  an  ebony  cabinet,  ornamented  with  figures  in 
a  clumsy  taste  of  sculpture.  Instead  of  a  convenient  desk,,  he  had  a 
small  table  in  his  closet,  and  his  library  was  made  up  with  some 
few  books,  and  a  great  many  bundles  of  paper  arranged  on  shelves, 
one  above  the  other,  the  whole  length  of  the  wall.  His  kitchen,  too 
modest  to  put  the  rest  of  the  establishment  out  of  countenance, 
exhibited  a  frugal  assortment  of  earthenware  and  other  necessary 
implements  of  cookery. 

Fabricio,  when  he  had  allowed  me  leisure  to  philosophize  on  his 
domestic  arrangements,  begged  to  know  my  opinion  of  his  apart- 
ments and  his  housekeeping,  and  whether  I  was  not  enchanted  with 
them.  "Yes,  beyond  all  manner  of  doubt,"  answered  I,  with  a 
roguish  smile.  "  You  must  have  applied  your  wits  to  a  good  pur- 
pose at  Madrid,  to  have  got  so  well  accoutred.  Of  course  you  have 
some  post."  "  Heaven  preserve  me  from  anything  of  the  sort  I"  re- 
plied he.  "  My  line  of  life  is  far  above  all  political  situations.  A 
man  of  rank,  to  whom  this  house  belongs,  has  given  me  a  room  in 
it,  whence  I  have  contrived  to  piece  out  a  suite  of  four,  fitted  up  in 
such  taste  as  you  may  see.  I  devote  my  time  only  to  employments 
that  are  suited  to  my  fancy,  and  never  feel  what  it  is  to  want." 
"  Explain  yourself  more  intelligibly,"  said  I,  interrupting  him. 
"You  set  me  all  agog  to  be  let  into  your  little  arrangements." 
"  Well,  then,"  said  he,  "  I  will  rid  you  of  that  devil  curiosity  at 
once.  I  have  commenced  author,  have  plunged  headlong  into  the 
ocean  of  literature ;  verse  and  prose  run  equally  glib ;  in  short,  I  am 
,  a  Jack  of  all  trades  to  the  Muses." 

"  What !  you  bound  in  solemn  league  and  covenant  to  Apollo  ?" 
exclaimed  I,  with  most  intolerable  laughter.  "Nothing  under  a 
prophet  could  ever  have  anticipated  this.  I  should  have  been  less 
surprised  at  any  other  transformation.  What  possible  delights  have 
you  had  the  ingenuity  to  detect  in  the  rugged  landscape  of  Par- 
nassus ?  It  would  seem  as  if  the  laborers  there  have  a  very  poor 
taking  in  civil  life,  and  feed  on  a  coarse  diet  without  sauce."  "Out 
upon  you !"  cried  he,  in  dudgeon  at  the  hint.  "  You  are  talking  of 
those  paltry  authors  whose  works  and  even  their  persons  are  under 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  403 

the  thumb  of  booksellers  and  players.  Is  it  any  wonder  that  writers 
under  such  circumstances  should  be  held  cheap?  But  the  good 
ones,  my  friend,  are  on  a  better  footing  in  the  world,  and  I  think  it 
may  be  affirmed,  vanity  apart,  that  my  name  is  to  be  found  iu  their 
list."  " Undoubtedly,"  said  I,  "talents  like, yours  are  convertible 
to  every  purpose  ;  compositions  from  such  a  pen  are  not  likely  to  be 
insipid.  But  I  am  on  the  rack  to  know  how  this  rage  for  fencing 
with  inky  weapons  could  have  seized  you." 

"  Your  wonder  and  alarm  has  mind  in  it,"  replied  Nunez.  "  I 
was  so  well  pleased  with  my  situation  in  the  service  of  Signor 
Emanuel  Ordonnez,  that  I  had  no  hankering  after  any  other.  But 
my  genius,  like  that  of  Plautus,  being  too  high-minded  to  contract 
itself  wibhin  the  sphere  of  menial  occupations,  I  wrote  a  play,  and 
got  it  acted  by  a  company  then  performing  at  Valladolid.  Though 
it  was  not  worth  the  paper  it  was  scrawled  upon,  it  had  more  suc- 
cess than  many  better  pieces.  Hence  I  concluded  that  the  public 
was  a  silly  bird,  and  would  hatch  any  eggs  that  were  put  under  it. 
That  modest  discovery,  with  the  consequent  madness  of  incessant 
composition,  alienated  my  affections  from  the  hospital.  The  love 
of  poetry  being  stronger  than  the  desire  of  accumulation,  I  deter- 
mined on  repairing  to  Madrid,  as  the  centre  of  everything  distin- 
guished, to  form  my  taste  in  that  school.  The  first  thing  was  to 
give  the  governor  warning,  who  parted  with  me  to  his  own  great 
sorrow,  from  a  sort  of  affection,  the  result  of  similar  propensities. 
'Fabricio,'  said  he,  'what  possible  ground  can  you  have  for  dis- 
content V  '  None  at  all,  sir,'  I  replied  ;  '  you  are  the  best  of  all 
possible  masters,  and  I  am  deeply  impressed  with  your  kind  treat- 
ment ;  but  you  know  one  must  follow  whithersoever  the  stars 
ordain.  I  feel  the  sacred  fire  within  me,  on  whose  aspiring  element 
my  name  is  to  be  wafted  to  posterity.'  '  What  confounded  non- 
sense !'  rejoined  the  old  fellow,  whose  ideas  were  all  pecuniary. 
'  You  are  already  become  a  fixture  in  the  hospital,  and  are  made  of 
a  metal  which  may  be  easily  manufactured  into  a  steward,  or,  by 
good  luck,  even  into  a  governor.  You  are  going  to  give  up  the 
great  object  of  life,  and  to  flutter  about  its  frippery.  So  much  the 
worse  for  you,  honest  friend  !' 

"  The  governor,  seeing  how  fruitless  it  was  to  struggle  with  my 
fixed  resolve,  paid  me  my  wages,  and  made  me  a  present  of  fifty 
ducats  as  an  acknowledgment  of  my  services.  Thus,  between  this 
supply  and  what  I  had  been  able  to  scrape  together  out  of  some 
little  commissions  which  were  assigned  to  me  from  an  opinion  of 
disinterestedness,  I  was  in  circumstances  to  make  a  very  pretty 
appearance  on  my  arrival  at  Madrid,  which  I  was  not  negligent  iu 
doing,  though  the  literary  tribe  in  our  country  are  not  over-puncti- 


404  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

lious  about  decency  or  cleanliness.  I  soon  got  acquainted  with  Lope 
de  Vega,  Cervantes,  and  the  whole  set  of  them ;  but  though  they 
^ere  fine  fellows,  and  thought  so  by  the  public,  I  chose  for  my 
model,  in  preference,  Don  Lewis  de  Gongora,  the  incomparable,  a 
young  bachelor  of  Cordova,  decidedly  the  first  genius  that  ever 
Spain  produced.  He  will  not  suffer  his  works  to  be  printed  during 
his  lifetime,  but  confines  himself  to  a:  private  communication  among 
his  friends.  What  is  very  remarkable,  nature  has  gifted  him  with 
the  uncommon  talent  of  succeeding  in  every  department  of  poetry. 
His  principal  excellence  is  in  satire;  there  he  outshines  himself.  He 
does  not  resemble,  like  Lucilius,  a  muddy  stream  with  a  slimy 
bottom,  but  is  rather  like  the  Tagus,  rolling  its  transparent  waters 
over  a  golden  sand." 

"  You  give  a  fine  description  of  this  bachelor,"  said  I  to  Fabricio ; 
"  and  undoubtedly  a  character  of  such  merit  must  have  attracted  an 
infinite  deal  of  envy."  "  The  whole  gang  of  authors,"  answered  he, 
"good  and  bad  equally,  are  open-mouthed  against  him.  'He  deals 
in  bombast,'  says  one ;  *  aims  at  double  meaning,  luxuriates  in  meta- 
phor, and  affects  transposition.'  '  His  verses,'  says  another, '  have 
all  the  obscurity  of  those  which  the  Salian  priests  used  to  chant  in 
their  processions,  and  which  nobody  was  the  wiser  for  hearing.' 
There  are  others  who  impute  it  to  him  as  a  fault  to  have  exercised 
his  genius  at  one  time  in  sonnets  or  ballads,  at  another  in  play- 
writing,  in  heroic  stanzas,  and  in  minor  efforts  of  wit  alternately,  as 
if  he  had  madly  taken  upon  himself  to  eclipse  the  best  writers  each 
in  their  own  favorite  walk.  But  all  these  thrusts  of  jealousy  are 
successfully  parried,  where  the  muse,  which  is  their  mark,  becomes 
the  idol  of  the  great  and  of  the  multitude  at  once. 

"  Under  so  able  a  master  did  I  serve  my  apprenticeship ;  and, 
vanity  apart,  the  preceptor  was  reflected  in  the  disciple.  So  happily 
did  I  catch  his  spirit,  that  by  this  time  he  would  not  be  ashamed  to 
own  some  of  my  detached  pieces.  After  his  example,  I  carry  my 
goods  to  market  at  great  houses,  vhere  the  bidding  is  eager,  and  the 
sagacity  of  the  bidders  not  difficult  to  match.  It  is  true  that  I  have 
a  very  insinuating  talent  at  recitation,  which  places  my  compositions 
in  no  disadvantageous  light.  In  short,  I  am  the  dear  delight  of  the 
nobility,  and  live  in  the  most  particular  intimacy  with  the  Duke  of 
Medina  Sidonia,  just  as  Horace  used  to  live  with  his  jolly  compan- 
ion Maecenas.  By  such  conjuration  ajid  mighty  magic  have  I  won 
the  name  of  author.  You  see  the  method  lies  within  a  narrow  com- 
pass. Now,  Gil  Bias,  it  is  your  turn  to  deliver  a  round  unvarnished 
tale  of  your  exploits." 

On  this  hint  I  spake ;  and,  unlike  most  narrators,  gave  all  the  im- 
portant particulars,  passing  lightly  over  minute  and  tiresome  cir- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  406 

cumstances.  The  action  of  talking,  long  continued,  puts  one  in 
mind  of  dining.  His  ebony  cabinet,  which  served  for  larder,  pantry, 
and  all  possible  uses,  was  ransacked  for  napkins,  bread,  a  shoulder 
of  mutton  far  gone  in  a  decline,  with  its  last  and  best  contents,  a 
bottle  of  excellent  wine  ;  so  that  we  sat  down  to  table  in  high  spirits, 
as  friends  are  wont  to  do  after  a  long  separation.  "You  observe," 
said  he,  "  this  free  and  independent  manner  of  life.  I  might  find  a 
plate  laid  for  me  every  day,  if  I  chose  it,  in  the  very  first  houses ; 
but,  besides  that  the  muse  often  pays  me  a  visit  and  detains  me 
within  doors,  I  have  a  little  of  Aristippus  in  my  nature.  I  can  pass 
with  equal  relish  from  the  great  and  busy  world  to  my  retreat,  from 
all  the  resources  of  luxury  to  the  simplicity  of  my  own  frugal 
board.." 

The  wine  was  so  good  that  we  encroached  upon  a  second  bottle. 
As  a  relish  to  our  fruit  and  cheese,  I  begged  to  be  favored  with  the 
sight  of  something,  the  offspring  of  his  inspired  moments.  He  im- 
mediately rummaged  among  his  papers,  and  read  me  a  sonnet  with 
much  energy  of  tone.  Yet,  with  all  the  advantage  of  accent  and 
expression,  there  was  something  so  uncouth  in  the  arrangement  as 
to  bafiie  all  conjecture  about  the  meaning.  He  saw  how  it  puzzled 
me.  ^'  This  sonnet  then,"  said  he,  "  is  not  quite  level  to  your  com- 
prehension !  Is  not  that  the  fact?"  I  owned  that  I  should  have 
preferred  a  construction  somewhat  less  forced.  He  began  laughing 
at  my  rusticity.  "  Well  then,"  replied  he,  "  we  will  say  that  this 
sonnet  would  confuse  clearer  heads  than  thine ;  it  is  all  the  better 
for  that.  Sonnets,  odes,  in  short,  all  compositions  which  partake  of 
the  sublime,  are  of  course  the  reverse  of  the  simple  and  natural ; 
they  are  enveloped  in  clouds,  and  their  darkness  constitutes  their 
grandeur.  Let  the  poet  only  fancy  that  he  understands  himself,  no 
matter  whether  his  readers  understand  him  or  not."  "  You  are 
laughing  at  me,  my  friend,"  said  I,  interrupting  him.  "  Let  poetry 
be  of  what  species  it  may,  good  sense  and  intelligible  diction  are 
essential  to  its  powers  of  pleasing.  If  your  peerless  Gongora  is  not 
a  little  more  lucid  than  yourself,  I  protest  that  his  merit  will  never 
pass  current  with  me.  Such  poets  may  entrap  their  own  age  into 
applause,  but  will  never  live  beyond  it.  *  Now  let  me  have  a  taste  of 
vour  prose." 

Nunez  showed  me  a  preface  which  he  meant  to  prefix  to  a  dra- 
matic miscellany  then  in  the  press.  He  insisted  on  having  my 
opinion.  "  I  like  not  your  prose  one  atom  better  than  your  verse," 
said  I.  "  Your  sonnet  is  a  roaring  deluge  of  emptiness  ;  and  as  for 
your  preface,  it  is  disfigured  by  a  phraseology  stolen  from  languages 
yet  in  embryo,  by  words  not  stamped  in  the  mint  of  general  use,  by 
all  the  perplexity  of  a  style  that  does  not  know  what  to  make  of 


406  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

itself.  In  a  word,  the  composition  is  altogether  a  thing  of  your  own. 
Our  classical  and  standard  books  are  written  in  a  very  different 
manner."'  "  Poor  tasteless  wretch  1"  exclaimed  Fabricio.  "  You 
are  not  aware  that  every  prose  writer  who  aspires  to  the  reputation 
of  sentiment  and  delicacy  in  these  days,  affects  this  style  of  his  own, 
these  perplexities  and  innovations  which  are  a  stumbling-block  to 
you.  There  are  five  or  six  of  us,  determined  reformers  of  our  lan- 
guage, who  have  undertaken  to  turn  the  Spanish  idiom  topsy-turvy ; 
and  with  a  blessing  on  our  endeavors,  we  will  pull  it  down  and  build 
it  up  again,  in  defiance  of  Lope  de  Vega,  Cervantes,  and  all  the 
host  of  wits  who  cavil  at  our  new  modes  of  speech.  Our  party  is 
strongly  supported  in  the  fashionable  world,  and  we  have  laid 
violent  hands  upon  the  pulpit. 

"After  all,"  continued  he,  "our  project  is  commendable;  for,  to 
speak  without  prejudice,  we  have  ten  times  the  merit  of  those  nat- 
ural writers,  who  express  themselves  just  like  the  mob.  I  cannot 
conceive  why  so  many  sensible  men  are  taken  with  them.  It  was 
all  very  well  at  Athens  and  at  Rome,  in  a  wild  and  undistinguishing 
democracy;  and  on  that  principle  only  could  Socrates  tell  Alci- 
biades  that  the  last  appeal  was  to  the  people  in  all  disputes  about 
language.  But  at  Madrid  there  is  a  polite  and  a  vulgar  usage,  so 
that  our  courtiers  talk  in  a  different  tongue  from  their  tradesmen. 
You  may  assure  yourself  that  it  is  so  ;  in  fine,  this  newly-invented 
style  is  carrying  everything  before  it,  and  turning  old  nature  out  of 
doors.  Now  I  will  explain  to  you  by  a  single  instance  the  difference 
between  the  elegance  of  our  diction  and  the  flatness  of  theirs.  They 
would  say,  for  example,  in  plain  terms,  '  Ballets  incidental  to  the 
piece  are  an  ornament  to  a  play  ;'  but  in  our  mode  of  expression,  we 
say  more  exquisitely,  '  Ballets  incidental  to  the  piece  are  the  very 
life  and  soul  of  the  play.'  Now  observe  that  phrase,  life  and  soul. 
Are  you  sensible  how  glowing  it  is,  at  the  same  time  how  descrip- 
tive, setting  before  you  all  the  motions  of  the  dancers,  as  on  an  in- 
tellectual stage  ?" 

I  broke  in  upon  my  reformer  of  language  with  a  burst  of  laugh- 
ter. "Get  along  with  you,  Fabricio,"  said  I ;  "you  are  a  coxcomb 
of  your  own  manufacture,'  with  your  affected  finery  of  phrase." 
"And  you,"  answered  he,  "  you  are  a  blockhead  of  nature's  clumsy 
moulding,  with  your  starch  simplicity."  He  then  went  on  taunting 
me  with  the  Archbishop  of  Granada's  angry  banter  on  my  dismis- 
sion :  "  Get  about  your  business !  Gro  and  tell  my  treasurer  to  pay 
you  a  hundred  ducats,  and  take  my  blessing  in  addition  to  that  sura. 
God  speed  you,  good  master  Gil  Bias  !  I  heartily  pray  that  you  may 
do  well  in  the  world  !  There  is  nothing  to  stand  in  your  way  but  a 
little  better  taste."    I  roared  out  in  a  still  louder  explosion  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  407 

laughter  at  this  lucky  hit ;  and  Fabricio,  easily  appeased  on  the 
score  of  impiety,  as  manifested  in  the  opinion  expressed  concerning 
his  writings,  lost  nothing  of  his  pleasant  and  propitious  temper. 
We  got  to  the  bottom  of  our  second  bottle,  and  then  rose  from  the 
table  in  fine  order  for  an  adventure.  Our  first  intention  was  to  see 
what  was  to  be  seen  upon  the  Prado ;  but  passing  in  front  of  a 
liquor-shop,  it  came  into  our  heads  that  we  might  as  well  go  in. 

The  company  was  in  general  tolerably  select  at  this  house  of  call. 
There  were  two  distinct  apartments,  and  the  pastime  in  each  was 
of  a  very  opposite  nature.  One  was  devoted  to  games  of  chance  or 
skill,  the  other  to  literary  and  scientific  discussions ;  and  there  were 
at  that  moment  two  clever  men  by  profession  handling  an  argument 
most  pertinaciously,  before  ten  or  twelve  auditors  deeply  interested 
in  the  discussion.  There  was  no  occasion  to  join  the  circle,  because 
the  metaphysical  thunder  of  their  logic  made  itself  heard  at  a  more 
respectful  distance :  the  heat  and  passion  with  which  this  abstract 
controversy  was  managed  made  the  two  philosophers  look  little  bet- 
ter than  madmen  A  certain  Eleazar  used  to  cast  out  devils  by  tying 
a  ring  to  the  nose  of  the  possessed :  had  these  learned  swine  been 
ringed  in  the  same  manner,  how  many  little  imps  would  have  taken 
wing  out  of  their  nostrils  1  "Angels  and  ministers  of  grace  defend 
us,"  said  I  to  my  companion ;  "  what  contortions  of  gesture,  what 
extravagance  of  elocution  I  One  might  as  well  argue  with  the  town 
crier.  How  little  do  we  know  our  natural  calling  in  society!" 
"  Very  true  indeed,"  answered  he ;  "  you  have  read  of  Novius,  the 
Roman  pawnbroker,  whose  lungs  went  as  far  beyond  the  rattle  of 
chariot  wheels  as  his  conscience  beyond  the  rate  of  legal  interest; 
the  Novii  must  certainly  have  been  transplanted  into  Spain,  and 
these  fellows  are  lineal  descendants.  But  the  hopeless  part  of  the 
case  is,  that  though  our  organs  of  sense  are  deafened,  our  under- 
standings are  not  invigorated  at  their  expense."  We  thought  it  best 
to  make  our  escape  from  these  braying  metaphysicians,  and  by  that 
prudent  motion  to  avoid  a  headache  which  was  just  beginning  to 
annoy  us.  We  went  and  seated  ourselves  in  a  corner  of  the  other 
room,  whence,  as  we  sipped  our  refreshing  beverage,  all  comers  and 
goers  were  obnoxious  to  our  criticism.  Nunez  was  acquainted  with 
almost  the  whole  set.  "Heaven  and  earth!"  exclaimed  he,  "the 
clash  of  philosophy  is  as  yet  but  in  its  beginning  ;  fresh  reinforce- 
ments are  coming  in  on  both  sides.  Those  three  men,  just  on  the 
threshold,  mean  to  let  slip  the  dogs  of  war.  But  do  you  see  those 
two  queer  fellows  going  out?  That  little  swarthy,  leather-com- 
plexioned  Adonis,  with  long,  lank  hair,  parted  in  the  middle  with 
mathematical  exactness,  is  Don  Juliano  de  Villanuno.  He  is  a 
young  barrister,  with  more  of  the  prig  than  the  lawyer  about  him. 


408  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

A  party  of  us  went  to  dine  with  him  the  other  day.  The  occupation 
we  caught  him  in  was  singular  enough.  He  was  amusing  himself 
in  his  office  with  making  a  tall  greyhound  fetch  and  carry  the  briefs 
in  the  causes  which  were  so  unfortunate  as  to  have  him  retained ; 
and  of  course  the  canine  amicus  curia  set  his  fangs  indifferently  into 
the  flesh  of  plaintiff  or  defendant,  tearing  law,  equity,  precedent, 
and  principle  into  shreds.  That  licentiate  at  his  elbow,  with  jolly, 
pimple-spangled  nose  and  cheeks,  goes  by  the  name  of  Don  Cheru- 
bino  Tonto.  He  is  a  canon  of  Toledo,  and  the  greatest  fool  that  was 
ever  suffered  to  walk  the  earth  without  a  keeper.  And  yet  he  arrays 
his  features  in  that  sort  of  not  quite  unmeaning  smile,  that  you 
would  give  him  credit  for  good  sense  as  well  as  good  humor.  His 
eye  has  the  look  of  cunning  if  not  of  wisdom,  and  his  laugh  too 
much  of  sarcasm  for  an  absolute  idiot.  One  would  conclude  that  he 
had  a  turn  for  mischief,  but  kept  it  down  from  principle  and  feeling. 
If  you  wish  to  take  his  opinion  upon  a  work  of  genius,  he  will  hear 
it  read  with  so  grave  and  rapt  a  silence,  as  nothing  but  deej)  thought 
and  acute  mental  criticism  could  justify  ;  but  the  truth  is,  that  he 
comprehends  not  one  word,  and  therefore  can  have  nothing  to  say. 
He  was  of  the  barrister  party.  There  were  a  thousand  good  things 
said,  as  there  always  must  be  in  a  professional  company.  Don  Cher- 
ubino  added  nothing  to  the  mass  of  merriment,  but  looked  such 
perfect  approbation  at  those  who  did,  was  so  tractable  and  compli- 
mentary a  listener,  that  every  man  at  table  placed  him  second  in 
the  comparative  estimate  of  merit." 

"  Do  you  know,"  said  I  to  Nunez,  "  who  those  two  fellows  are, 
with  dirty  clothes  and  matted  hair,  their  elbows  on  that  table  in  the 
corner,  and  their  cheeks  upon  their  hands,  whiffing  foul  breath  into 
each  other's  nostrils  as  they  lay  their  heads  together?"  He  told 
me  that  by  their  faces  they  were  strangers  to  him ;  but  that  by 
physical  and  moral  tokens  they  could  only  be  coffee-house  politi- 
cians, venting  their  spleen  against  the  measures  of  government. 
"  But  do  look  at  that  spruce  spark,  whistling  as  he  paces  up  and 
down  the  other  room,  and  balancing  himself  alternately  on  one  toe 
and  on  the  other.  That  is  Don  Augustino  Moreto,  a  young  poet 
sufficiently  of  nature's  mint  and  coinage  to  pass  current,  if  flatterers 
and  sciolists  had  not  debased  him  into  a  mere  coxcomb  by  their 
misplaced  admiration.  The  man  to  whom  he  is  going  up  with  that 
familiar  shake  by  the  hand,  is  one  of  the  set  who  write  verses  and 
then  call  themselves  poets ;  who  claim  a  speaking  acquaintance  with 
the  muses,  but  never  were  of  their  private  parties." 

"Authors  upon  authors,  nothing  but  authors!"  exclaimed  he, 
pointing  out  two  dashing  blades.  "One  would  think  they  had 
made  an  appointment  on  purpose  to  pass  in  review  before  you. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  409 

Don  Bernardo  Deslenguado  and  Don  Sebastian  of  Villa  Viciosa ! 
The  first  is  a  vinegar-flavored  vintage  of  Parnassus,  a  satirist  by 
trade  and  company ;  he  hates  all  the  world,  and  is  not  liked  the 
better  for  his  taste.  As  for  Don  Sebastian,  he  is  the  milk  and 
honey  of  criticism ;  he  would  not  have  the  guilt  of  ill-nature  on 
his  conscience  for  the  universe.  He  has  just  brought  out  a  comedy 
without  a  single  idea,  which  has  succeeded  with  an  audience  of 
tantamount  ideas ;  and  he  has  just  now  published  it  to  vindicate  hia 
innocence." 

Gongora's  candid  pupil  was  running  on  in  his  career  of  benevo- 
lent explanation,  when  one  of  the  Duke  de  Medina  Sidonia's  house- 
hold came  up  and  said,  "  Signor  Don  Fabricio,  my  lord  duke  wishes 
to  speak  with  you,  "  You  will  find  him  at  home."  Nunez,  who 
knew  that  the  wishes  of  a  great  lord  could  not  be  too  soon  gratified, 
left  me  without  ceremony  ;  but  he  left  me  in  the  utmost  consterna- 
tion, to  hear  him  called  Don,  and  thus  ennobled,  in  spite  of  Master 
Chrysostom  the  barber's  escutcheon,  who  had  the  honor  to  call  him 
father. 


CHAPTER   XIV. 

FABEICIO    FINDS   A   SITUATION   FOR   GIL   BLAS   IN   THE  ESTABLISHMENT 
OF  COUNT  GALIANO,   A  SICILIAN  NOBLEMAN. 

I  WAS  too  happy  in  Fabricio's  society  not  to  hunt  him  out  again 
early  the  next  morning.  "  Good-day  to  you,  Signor  Don  Fab- 
ricio," said  I  on  my  first  approach ;  "  it  seems  you  are  the  picked 
and  chosen  flower,  or  rather,  saving  your  presence,  the  nondescript' 
excrescence  of  the  Asturian  nobility."  This  sarcasm  had  no  other 
effect  than  to  set  him  laughing  heartily.  "  Then  the  title  of  Don 
was  not  lost  upon  you!"  exclaimed  he.  "No,  indeed,  my  noble 
lord,"  answered  I ;  "  and  you  will  give  me  leave  to  tell  you  that 
when  you  were  recounting  your  transformations  to  me  yesterday, 
you  forgot  the  most  extraordinary."  "Exactly  so,"  replied  he; 
"  but  to  speak  sincerely,  if  I  have  taken  up  that  prefix  of  dignity, 
it  is  less  to  tickle  my  own  vanity,  than  in  tenderness  to  that  of 
others.  You  know  what  stuff"  the  Spaniards  are  made  of;  an  honest 
man  is  no  honest  man  to  them,  if  his  honor  is  not  bolstered  up  with 
escutcheons,  pedigree,  and  patrimony.  I  may  tell  you,  moreover, 
that  there  are  so  many  gentry,  and  very  queer  sort  of  gentry  too, 
dubbed  Don  Francisco,  Don  Pedro,  Don  What-do-you-call-him,  or 


410  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Don  Devil,  that  if  they  owe  their  coats-of-arms  to  any  herald  but 
their  own  impudence,  modern  nobility  is  a  mere  drug  in  the  market, 
so  that  a  plebeian  of  nature's  ennobling  confers  infinite  honor  on 
the  upstarts  of  arr  artificial  creation,  by  herding  with  their  order. 

"  But  let  us  change  the  subject,"  added  he.  "  Last  night,  supping 
at  the  Duke  de  Medina  Sidonia's,  where,  among  other  company,  we 
had  Count  Galiano,  a  great  Sicilian  nobleman,  the  conversation 
turned  upon  the  ridiculous  efiects  of  self-love.  Delighted  at  having 
a  case  in  point  by  way  of  illustration,  I  treated  them  with  the  story 
of  the  homilies.  You  may  well  suppose  that  there  was  a  hearty 
laugh,  and  that  the  archbishop's  dignity  was  not  saved  in  the  con- 
cussion ;  but  the  effect  was  not  amiss  for  you,  since  the  company 
felt  for  your  situation ;  and  Count  Galiano,  after  a  long  string  of 
questions,  which  of  course  I  answered  to  your  advantage,  commis- 
sioned me  to  introduce  you.  I  was  just  now  going  to  look  after  you 
for  that  purpose.  In  all  probability  he  means  to  offer  you  a  situ- 
ation as  one  of  his  secretaries.  I  advise  you  not  to  hang  back.  The 
count  is  rich,  and  lives  away  at  Madrid,  on  the  scale  of  an  ambas- 
sador. He  is  said  to  have  come  to  court  on  a  negotiation  with  the 
Duke  of  Lerma,  respecting  some  crown  lands  which  that  minister 
thinks  of  alienating  in  Sicily.  In  one  word,  Count  Galiano,  though 
a  Sicilian,  has  every  feature  of  generosity,  fair  dealing,  and  gentle- 
manly conduct.  You  cannot  do  better  than  get  upon  that  noble- 
man's establishment.  In  all  probability  the  flattering  prophecy 
respecting  you  at  Granada  is  to  be  fulfilled  in  his  person." 

*'  It  was  my  full  determination,"  said  I  to  Nunez,  "  to  take  my 
swing  about  town  and  look  at  men  and  manners  a  little,  before  the 
harness  was  buckled  on  my  back  again  ;  but  you  paint  your  Sicilian 
nobleman  in  colors  which  fascinate  my  imagination  and  change  my 
purpose.  I  should  like  to  close  with  him  at  once."  "  You  will  do 
so  very  soon,"  replied  he,  "  or  I  am  much  deceived."  We  sallied 
forth  together  immediately,  and  went  to  the  count's,  who  resided  in 
the  house  of  his  friend,  Don  Sancho  d'Avila,  the  latter  being  then 
in  the  country. 

The  court-yard  was  overrun  with  pages  and  footmen  in  rich  and 
elegant  liveries,  while  the  antechamber  was  blockaded  by  esquires, 
gentlemen,  and  various  officers  of  the  household.  They  were  all  as 
fine  as  possible,  but  with  so  whimsical  an  assortment  of  features, 
that  you  might  have  taken  them  for  a  cluster  of  monkeys  dressed  up 
to  satirize  the  Spanish  fashions.  Do  what  you  will,  there  is  a 
certain  class  of  men  and  women  in  nature,  whom  no  art  can  trick 
out  into  anything  human. 

At  the  very  name  of  Don  Fabricio,  a  lane  was  formed  for  my 
patron,  and  I  followed  in  the  rear.    The  count  was  in  his  dressing- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  ^  411 

gown,  sitting  on  a  sofa  and  taking  his  chocolate.  We  made  our 
obeisance  in  the  most  respectful  manner;  while  an  inclination  of 
the  head  on  his  part,  accompanied  with  a  condescending  smile,  won 
my  heart  at  once.  It  is  very  wonderful,  and  yet  very  common,  how 
the  most  trifling  notice  from  the  great  penetrates  the  very  soul  of 
those  who  are  not  accustomed  to  it  1  They  musfhave  behaved  like 
fiends  before  their  behavior  will  be  complained  of. 

After  taking  his  chocolate,  he  recreated  himself  with  the  humors 
of  a  large  ape,  which  underwent  the  name  of  Cupid :  why  the  ape 
was  made  a  god,  or  the  god  likened  to  an  ape,  the  parties  concerned 
can  best  answer ;  the  only  point  of  resemblance  seemed  to  be  mis- 
chief. At  all  events,  this  hairy  brat  of  the  sylvan  Venus  had  so 
gambolled  himself  into  his  master's  good  graces,  had  established 
such  a  character  for  wit  and  humor,  that  the  life  of  society  was  ex- 
tinguished in  his  absence.  As  for  Nunez  and  myself,  though  we 
had  a  better  turn  for  drollery,  we  were  cunning  enough  to  chime  in 
with  the  prevailing  taste.  The  Sicilian  was  highly  delighted  with 
this,  and  tore  himself  away  for  a  moment  from  his  favorite  pastime, 
just  to  tell  me,  "My  friend,  you  have  only  to  say  whether  you 
choose  to  be  one  of  my  secretaries.  If  the  situation  suits  you,  the 
salary  is  two  hundred  pistoles  a  year.  If  Don  Fabricio  gives  you 
a  character,  that  is  enough."  "  Yes,  my  lord,"  cried  Nunez,  "  I  am 
not  such  a  cowardly  fellow  as  Plato,  who  introduced  one  of  his 
friends  to  Dionysius  the  tyrant,  and  then  was  afraid  to  back  his 
own  recommendation.  But  I  have  no  anxiety  about  being  re- 
proached on  that  head." 

I  thanked  the  poet  of  the  Asturias  with  a  low  bow,  for  having  so 
much  better  an  opinion  of  me  than  Plato  had  of  his  friend.  Then 
addressing  my  patron,  I  assured  him  of  my  zeal  and  fidelity.  No 
sooner  did  this  good  nobleman  perceive  his  proposal  to  be  accept- 
able, than  he  rang  for  his  steward,  and  after  talking  to  him  apart, 
said  to  me,  "  Gil  Bias,  I  will  explain  the  nature  of  your  post  here- 
after. Meanwhile,  you  have  only  to  follow  that  right  hand  man  of 
mine;  he  has  his  orders  how  to  bestow  you."  I  immediately 
retreated,  leaving  Fabricio  behind  with  the  count  and  Cupid. 

The  steward,  who  came  from  Messina,  and  proved  by  all  his 
actions  that  he  came  thence,  led  the  way  to  his  own  room,  over- 
whelming me  all  the  while  with  the  kindness  of  his  reception.  He 
sent  for  the  tailor  who  lived  upon  the  skirts  of  the  household,  and 
ordered  him  to  make  me  out  of  hand  a  suit  of  equal  magnificence 
with  those  of  the  principal  officers.  The  tailor  took  my  measure 
and  withdrew.  "As  to  lodging,"  said  the  native  of  Messina,  "I 
know  a  room  which  will  just  suit  you.  But  stay !  Have  you 
breakfasted?"    I  answered  in  the  negative.    "0,  poor  shamefaced 


412  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  DLAS. 

youth,"  replied  he,  "  why  did  not  you  say  so  ?  Come  this  way :  I 
will  introduce  you  where,  thank  Heaven,  you  have  only  to  ask  and 
have." 

So  saying,  he  led  me  down  into  the  buttery,  where  we  found  the 
clerk  of  the  kitchen,  who  was  a  Neapolitan,  and  of  course  a  com- 
plete match  fof  his  neighbor  on  the  other  side  of  the  water.  It 
might  be  said  of  this  pair  that  they  were  formed  to  meet  by  nature. 
This  honest  clerk  of  the  kitchen  was  doing  justice  to  his  trade  by 
cramming  himself  and  five  or  six  hangers-on  with  ham,  tongue, 
sausages,  and  other  savory  compositions,  which,  besides  their  own 
relish,  possess  the  merit  of  engendering  thirst.  We  made  common 
cause  with  these  jolly  fellows,  and  helped  them  to  toss  of  some  of 
my  lord  the  count's  best  wines.  While  these  things  were  going  on 
in  the  buttery,  kindred  exploits  were  performing  in  the  kitchen. 
The  cook,  too,  was  regaling  three  or  four  tradesmen  of  his  ac- 
quaintance, who  liked  good  wine  as  well  as  ourselves,  nor  disdained 
to  stufi"  their  craws  with  meat  pasties  and  game :  the  very  scullions 
were  at  free  quarters,  and  filched  whatever  they  pleased.  I  fancied 
myself  in  a  house  given  up  to  plunder ;  and  yet  what  I  saw  was 
comparatively  fair  and  honest.  These  little  festivities  were  laugh- 
ing matters ;  but  the  private  transactions  of  the  family  were  very 
serious. 


CHAPTEE    XV. 

THE  EMPLOYMENT  OF  GIL  BLAS  IN  DON  GALIANO'S  HOtTSEHOLD. 

I  WENT  away  to  fetch  my  movables  to  my  new  residence.  On 
my  return,  the  count  was  at  table  with  several  noblemen  sind 
the  poet  Nunez,  who  called  about  him  as  if  perfectly  at  home,  and 
took  a  principai  share  in  the  conversation.  Indeed,  he  never 
opened  his  lips  without  applause.  So  much  for  wit!  With  that 
commodity  at  market,  a  man  may  pay  his  way  in  any  company. 

It  was  my  lot  to  dine  with  the  gentlemen  of  the  household,  who 
were  served  nearly  as  well  as  their  employer.  After  meal-time  I 
withdrew  to  ruminate  on  my  lot.  "  So  far  so  good,  Gil  Bias,"  said 
I  to  myself;  "here  you  are  in  the  family  of  a  Sicilian  count,  of 
whose  character  you  know  nothing.  To  judge  by  appearances,  you 
will  be  as  much  in  your  element  as  a  duck  upon  the  water.  But  do 
not  make  too  sure !  You  ought  to  look  askew  at  your  horoscope, 
whose  unkindly  position  you  have  too  often  experienced  with  a  ven- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  413 

geance.  Independent  of  that,  it  is  not  easy  to  conjecture  what  he 
means  you  to  do.  There  are  secretaries  and  a  steward  already: 
where  can  your  post  be?  In  all  likelihood  you  are  intended  to 
manage  his  little  private  affairs.  Well  and  good !  There  is  no 
better  luck  about  the  house  of  a  great  nobleman,  if  you  would  travel 
post  haste  to  make  your  fortune.  In  the  performance  of  more  hon- 
orable services,  a  man  gets  on  only  step  by  step,  and  even  at  tha;t 
pace  often  sticks  by  the  way." 

While  these  philosophical  reflections  were  revolving  in  my  mind, 
a  servant  came  to  tell  me  that  all  the  company  was  gone  home,  and 
that  my  lord  the  count  was  inquiring  for  me.  I  flew  immediately 
to  his  apartment,  where  I  found  him  lolling  on  the  sofa,  ready  to 
take  his  afternoon's  nap,  with  his  monkey  by  his  side. 

"  Come  nearer,  Gil  Bias,"  said  he ;  "  take  a  chair,  and  hear  me 
attentively."  I  placed  myself  in  an  attitude  gf  profound  listening, 
when  he  addressed  me  as  follows:  "  Don  Fabricio  has  informed  me 
that,  among  other  good  qualities,  you  have  that  of  sincere  attach- 
ment to  your  masters,  and  incorruptible  integrity.  These  are  my 
inducements  for  proposing  to  take  you  into  my  service.  I  stand  in 
need  of  a  friend  in  a  domestic,  to  espouse  my  interests  and  apply 
his  whole  heart  and  soul  to  the  reform  of  my  establishment.  My 
fortune  is  large,  it  must  be  confessed,  but  my  expenditure  far  ex- 
ceeds my  income  every  year.  And  how  happens  that?  Because 
they  rob,  ransack,  and  devour  me.  I  might  as  well  be  in  a  forest 
infested  by  banditti,  as  an  inhabitant  of  my  own  house.  I  suspect 
the  clerk  of  the  kitchen  and  my  steward  of  playing  into  one  another's 
hands  ;  and  unless  my  thoughts  are  unjust  as  well  as  uncharitable, 
they  are  pushing  forward  as  fast  as  they  can  to  ruin  me  beyond  re- 
demption. You  will  ask  me  what  I  have  to  do  but  send  them  pack- 
ing if  I  think  them  scoundrels.  But,  then,  where  are  otJiers  to  be 
got  of  a  better  breed  ?  It  will  be  sufiicient  to  place  them  under  the 
eye  of  a  man  who  shall  be  invested  with  the  right  of  control  over 
their  conduct ;  and  you  have  I  chosen  to  execute  this  commission. 
If  you  discharge  it  well,  be  assured  that  your  services  will  not  be  re- 
paid with  ingratitude.  I  shall  take  care  to  provide  you  with  a  very 
comfortable  settlement  in  Sicily." 

With  this  he  dismissed  me,  and  that  very  evening,  in  the  presence 
of  the  whole  household,  I  was  proclaimed  principal  manager  and 
surveyor-general  of  the  family.  Our  gentlemen  of  Messina  and 
Naples  expressed  no  particular  chagrin  at  first,  because  they  consid- 
ered me  as  a  spark  of  mettle  like  their  own,  and  took  it  for  granted, 
that  though  the  loaf  was  to  be  shared  with  a  third,  there  would 
always  be  cut  and  come  again  for  the  triumvirate.  But  they  looked 
inexpressibly  foolish  the  next  day,  when  I  declared  myself  in  serious 


414  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

terms  a  decided  enemy  to  all  peculation  and  underhand  dealing. 
From  the  clerk  of  the  kitchen  I  required  the  buttery  accounts  with- 
out varnish  or  concealment.  I  went  down  into  the  cellar.  The  fur- 
niture of  the  butler's  pantry  underwent  a  strict  examination,  par- 
ticularly in  the  articles  of  plate  and  linen.  Next  I  read  them  a 
serious  lecture  on  the  duty  of  acting  for  their  employer  as  they 
would  for  themselves;  exhorted  them  to  adopt  a  system  of  economy  in 
their  expenditure ;  and  wound  up  my  harangue  with  a  protestation 
that  his  lordship  should  be  acquainted  with  the  very  first  instance  of 
any  unfair  tricks  that  I  should  discover  in  the  exercise  of  my  oflSce. 

But  I  had  not  yet  got  to  the  length  of  my  tether.  There  was  still 
wanting  a  scout  to  ascertain  whether  they  had  any  private  under- 
standing. I  fixed  upon  a  scullion,  who,  won  over  by  my  promises, 
told  me  that  I  could  not  have  applied  to  a  better  person  to  be  in- 
formed of  all  that  wag  passing  in  the  family  ;  that  the  clerk  of  the 
kitchen  and  the  steward  were  one  as  good  as  the  other,  and 
had  agreed  between  them  to  burn  the  candle  at  both  ends;  that 
half  the  provisions  bought  for  the  table  were  made  perquisites  by 
these  gentlemen  ;  that  the  Neapolitan  kept  a  lady  who  lived  opposite 
8t.  Thomas's  College,  and  his  colleague,  not  to  be  outdone,  provided 
for  another  next  door  to  the  Sungate ;  that  these  two  nymphs  had 
their  larder  regularly  supplied  every  morning,  while  the  cook,  fol- 
lowing a  good  example,  sent  a  few  little  nice  things  to  a  widow  of 
his  acquaintance  in  the  neighborhood ;  but  as  he  winked  at  the 
table  arrangements  of  his  dear  and  confidential  friends,  it  was  but 
fair  that  he  should  draw  whenever  he  pleased  upon  the  wine-cellar ; 
in  short,  by  the  practice  of  these  three  blood-suckers,  a  most  horrible 
system  of  extravagance  had  found  its  way  into  my  lord  the  count's 
establishment.  "  If  you  doubt  my  veracity,"  added  the  scullion, 
"  only  take  the  trouble  of  going  to-morrow  morning,  about  seven 
o'clock,  into  the  neighborhood  of  St.  Thomas's  College,  and  you 
will  see  me  with  a  load  upon  my  back  which  will  convert  your  sus- 
picions into  certainty."  "  Then  you,"  said  I,  "  are  in  the  confi- 
dence of  these  honest  purveyors?"  "  I  am  factor  to  the  clerk  of 
the  kitchen,"  answered  he;  "and  one  of  my  comrades  runs  on 
errands  for  the  steward." 

I  had  the  curiosity  the  next  day  to  loiter  about  St.  Thomas's  Col- 
lege at  the  appointed  hour.  My  informer  was  punctual  to  time  and 
place.  He  brought  with  him  a  large  tray  full  of  butcher's  meat, 
poultry,  and  game.  I  took  an  account  of  every  article,  and  drew 
out  the  bill  of  fare  in  my  memorandum  book,  for  the  purpose  of 
showing  it  to  my  master,  at  the  same  time  telling  my  little  turnspit 
to  execute  his  commission  as  usual. 

His  Sicilian  lordship,  naturally  warm  in  his  temper,  would  have 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  416 

turned  his  countryman  and  the  Italian  out  of  doors  together,  in  the 
first  fury  of  his  anger ;  but  after  cooling  upon  it,  he  got  rid  of  the 
former  only,  and  gave  me  his  vacant  place.  Thus  my  office  of  super- 
visor was  suppressed  very  shortly  after  its  creation ;  nor  did  I  re- 
linquish it  with  any  reluctance.  To  define  it  strictly  and  properly, 
it  was  nothing  better  than  that  of  a  spy  with  a  sounding  title;  there 
was  nothing  substantial  in  the  nature  of  the  appointment :  whereas, 
to  the  stewardship  was  tied  the  key  of  the  strong  box,  and  with  that 
goes  the  mystery  of  the  whole  family.  There  are  so  many  little  per- 
quisites, and  so  much  patronage  attached  to  that  department  of  ad- 
ministration, that  a  man  must  inevitably  get  rich,  almost  in  spite  of 
his  own  honesty. 

But  our  Neapolitan  was  not  so  easily  to  be  driven  from  his  strong- 
holds. Observing  to  what  a  pitch  of  savage  zeal  I  carried  my  in- 
tegrity, and  that  I  was  up  every  morning  time  enough  to  enter  in 
my  books  the  exact  quantity  of  meat  that  came  from  market,  Jie 
abandoned  the  practice  of  sending  it  off  by  wholesale ;  yet  the 
plunderer  did  not  therefore  contract  the  scale  of  his  demands  on 
the  animal  creation.  He  was  cunning  enough  to  make  it  as  broad 
as  it  was  long,  by  arranging  the  services  with  so  much  the  more 
profusion.  Thus,  what  was  sent  down  again  untouched  being  his 
property  by  culinary  common  law,  he  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  pam- 
per up  his  pet  with  victuals  ready  dressed,  instead  of  giving  her  the 
trouble  of  cooking  for  herself.  The  devil  will  levy  his  due  out  of 
every  transaction,  so  that  the  count  was  very  little  the  better  for  his 
paragon  of  a  steward.  The  unbounded  prodigality  in  our  style  of 
setting  out  a  table,  even  to  a  surfeiting  degree,  was  a  plain  hint  to 
me  of  what  was  going  forward :  I  therefore  took  upon  my&elf  to 
retrench  the  superfluities  of  every  course.  This,  however,  was  done 
with  so  judicious  a  hand,  that  there  was  nothing  like  parsimony  to 
be  discovered.  No  one  would  ever  have  missed  what  was  taken 
away;  and  yet  the  expense  was  reduced  very  considerably  by  a 
well-regulated  economy.  That  was  just  what  my  employer  wanted— 
good  housewifery,  but  a  magnificent  establishment.  There  was  a 
love  of  saving  at  the  bottom,  but  a  taste  for  grandeur  was  the  osten- 
sible passion. 

Abuses  seldom  exist  alone.  The  wine  flowed  too  freely.  If,  for 
instance,  there  were  a  dozen  gentlemen  at  his  lordship's  table,  the 
consumption  was  seldom  less  than  fifty  bottles,  sometimes  sixty. 
This  was  strange,  and  looked  as  if  there  was  more  in  it  than  met  the 
lips  of  the  guests.  Hereupon  I  consulted  my  oracle  of  the  scullery, 
whence  I  derived  most  of  my  wisdom  ;  for  he  brought  me  a  faithful 
account  of  all  that  was  said  and  done  in  the  kitchen,  where  they  had 
not  the  least  suspicion  of  him.    It  seemed  that  the  havoc  of  which 


416  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

/ 

I  complained  proceeded  from  a  new  confederacy  between  the  clerk 

of  the  kitchen,  the  cook,  and  the  under  butler.     The  latter  carried 

off  the  bottles  half  iull,  and  shared  their  contents  with  his  allies. 

I  spoke  to  him  on  the  subject,  threatening  to  turn  him  and  all  the 

footmen  under  him  out  of  doors  at  a  minute's  warning,  if  ever  they 

did  the  like  again.  The  hint  was  understood,  and  the  evil  remedied. 

I  took  especial  care  lest  the  slightest  of  my  services  should  be  lost 

upon  my  master,  who  overwhelmed  me  with  commendations,  and 

took  a  greater  liking  to  me  every  day.     On  my  part,  as  a  reward 

to  the  scullion,  he  was  promoted  to  the  situation  next  under  the 

cook. 

The  Neapolitan  was  furious  at  encountering  me  in  every  direction. 
The  most  aggravating  circumstance  of  the  whole  was  the  overhaul- 
ing of  his  accounts;  fof,  to  pare  his  nails  the  closer,  I  had  gone  into 
the  market,  and  informed  myself  of  the  prices.  I  followed  him 
through  all  his  doublings,  and  always  took  off  the  market  peony 
which  he  wanted  to  add.  He  must  have  cursed  me  a  hundred  times 
a  day  ;  but  the  curses  of  the  wicked  fall  in  blessings  on  the  good, 
I  wondered  how  he  could  stay  in  his  place  under  such  discipline  ; 
but  probably  something  still  stuck  by  the  fingers. 

Fabricio,  whom  I  saw  occasionally,  rather  blamed  my  conduct 
than  otherwise.  "  Heaven  grant,"  said  he,  one  day,  "  that  all  this 
virtue  may  meet  with  its  reward  !  But  between  ourselves,  you  might 
BJB  well  be  a  little  more  practicable  with  the  clerk  of  the  kitchen." 
"  What  1"  answered  I,  "  shall  this  freebooter  put  a  bold  face  upon 
the  matter,  and  charge  a  fish  at  ten  pistoles  in  his  bill  which  cost 
only  four  ?  and  would  you  have  me  pass  the  articles  in  my  accounts?" 
"  Why  not?"  replied  he  coolly.  "  He  has  only  to  let  you  go  snacks 
in  the  commission,  and  the  books  will  be  balanced  in  your  favor  by 
the  customary  rule  of  stewardship  arithmetic.  Upon  my  word,  my 
friend,  you  are  enough  to  overturn  all  regular  systems  of  housekeep- 
ing; and  you  are  likely  to  end  your  days  in  a  livery,  if  you  let  the 
eel  slip  through  your  fingers  without  skinning  it.  You  are  to  learn 
that  Fortune  is  a  very  woman,  ready  and  eager  to  surrender,  but  ex- 
pecting the  formality  of  a  summons." 

I  only  laughed  at  this  doctrine,  and  Nunez  laughed  at  it  too, 
when  he  found  that  bad  advice  was  thrown  away  upon  an  incorri- 
gibly honest  subject.  He  then  wished  to  make  me  believe  it  was  all 
a  mere  jolce.  At  all  events,  nothing  could  shake  my  resolution  to 
act  for  my  employer  as  for  myself.  Indeed,  my  actions  corre- 
sponded with  my  words  on  that  subject ;  for  I  may  venture  to  say 
that  in  four  months  my  master  saved  at  least  three  thousand  ducats 
by  my  thrift. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  417 


CHAPTER   XVI. 

AN  ACCIDENT  HAPPENS  TO    THE    COUNT    DE    GALIANO'S  MONKEY.     THE 
ILLNESS  OF  GIL  BLAS,  AND  ITS  CONSEQUENCES. 

AT  the  expiration  of  the  before-mentioned  time,  the  repose  of 
the  family  was  marvellously  troubled  by  an  accident  which 
will  appear  but  a  trifle  to  the  reader,  and  yet  it  was  a  very  serious 
matter  to  the  household,  especially  to  me.  Cupid,  the  monkey  of 
whom  I  was  speaking,  that  animal  so  much  the  idol  of  our  lord  and 
master,  attempting  to  leap  from  one  window  to  another,  performed 
so  ill  as  to  fall  into  the  court  and  put  his  leg  out  of  joint.  No  sooner 
were  the  fatal  tidings  carried  to  the  count,  than  he  sung  a  dirge 
which  pealed  through  all  the  neighborhood.  In  the  extremity  of 
his  sufferings,  every  inmate  without  exception  was  taken  to  task,  and 
we  were  all  within  an  inch  of  being  packed  off  about  our  business. 
But  the  storm  only  rumbled,  without  falling ;  he  gave  us  and  our 
negligence  to  the  devil,  withojit  being  by  any  means  select  in  the 
terms  of  the  bequest.  The  most  notorious  of  the  faculty  in  the  line 
of  fractures  and  dislocations  were  sent  for.  They  examined  the  poor 
dear  leg,  set,  and  bound  it  up.  But  though  they  all  gave  it  as  their 
opinion  that  there  was  no  danger,  my  master  could  not  be  satisfied 
without  retaining  the  most  eminent  about  the  person  of  the  animal, 
till  he  could  be  pronounced  to  be  in  a  state  of  convalescence. 

It  would  be  a  manifest  injustice  to  the  family  affections  of  his 
Sicilian  lordship  not  to  commemorate  all  the  agonizing  sensi?tions 
of  his  soul  during  this  period  of  painful  suspense.  Would  it  be 
thought  possible  that  this  tender  nurse  did  not  stir  from  his 
darling  Cupid's  bedside  all  the  livelong  day  ?  The  bandages  were 
never  altered  or  adjusted  but  in  his  presence,  and  he  got  up  two  or 
three  times  in  the  night  to  inquire  after  his  patient.  The  most  pro- 
voking part  of  the  business  was,  that  all  the  servants,  and  myself  in 
particular,  were  required  to  be  eternally  on  the  alert,  to  anticipate 
the  slightest  wishes  of  this  ridiculous  baboon.  In  short,  there  was 
no  peace  in  the  house  till  the  cursed  beast,  having  recovered  from 
the  effects  of  its  fall,  got  back  again  to  his  old  tricks  and  whirli- 
gigs. After  this,  shall  we  be  mealy-mouthed  about  believing  Sueto- 
nius when  he  tells  us  that  Caligula  cared  more  for  his  horse  than  for 
all  the  world  besides,  that  he  gave  him  more  than  the  establishment 
and  attendance  of  a  senator,  and  that  he  even  wanted  to  make  him 
consul  ?  Our  wise  master  stopped  little  short  of  the  emperor  in  his 
partiality  to  the  monkey,  and  hfid  serious  thoughts  of  purchasing 
for  him  the  place  of  corregldor. 
27 


418  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Mine  was  the  worst  luck  of  any  in  the  family,  for  I  had  so  topped 
my  part  above  all  the  other  servants,  by  way  of  paying  my  court  to 
bis  lordship,  and  had  nursed  poor  dear  Cupid  with  such  assiduity, 
as  to  throw  myself  into  a  fit  of  illness.  A  violent  fever  seized  me, 
80  that  I  was  almost  at  death's  door.  They  did  what  they  pleased 
with  me  for  a  whole  fortnight,  without  my  consciousness ;  for  the 
physicians  and  the  fates  were  both  conspiring  against  me.  But  my 
youth  was  more  than  a  match  for  the  fever  and  the  prescriptions 
united.  When  I  recovered  my  senses,  the  first  use  I  made  of  them 
was  to  observe  myself  removed  to  another  room.  I  wanted  to  know 
why,  and  asked  an  old  woman  who  nursed  me ;  but  she  told  me 
that  I  must  not  talk,  as  the  physician  had  expressly  forbidden  it. 
When  we  are  well,  we  turn  up  our  noses  at  the  doctors ;  but  when 
we  are  sick,  we  are  as  much  like  old  women  as  themselves. 

It  therefore  seemed  best  to  keep  silence,  though  I  had  an  invete- 
rate longing  to  hold  converse  with  my  attendant.  I  was  debating 
the  point  in  my  own  mind,  when  there  came  in  two  foppish-looking 
fellows,  dressed  in  the  very  extreme  of  fashion.  Nothing  less  than 
velvet  would  serve  their  turn,  with  linen  and  lace  to  correspond. 
They  looked  like  men  of  rank,  and'l  could  have  sworn  that  they 
were  some  of  my  master's  friends  come  to  see  me  out  of  regard  for 
him.  Under  that  impression,  I  attempted  to  sit  up,  and  flung  away 
my  nightcap  to  look  genteel ;  but  the  nurse  forced  me  under  the 
bedclothes  again,  and  tucked  me  up,  at  fhe  same  time  announcing 
these  gentlemen  as  my  physician  and  apothecary. 

The  doctor  came  up  to  my  bedside,  felt  my  pulse,  looked  in  my 
face,  and  discovering  undeniable  symptoms  of  approaching  conva- 
lescence, assumed  an  air  of  triumph,  as  if  it  was  all  his  handiwork, 
and  said  there  was  nothing  wanting  but  to  keep  the  bowels  open, 
and  then  he  flattered  himself  he  might  boast  of  having  performed 
an  extraordinary  cure.  Speaking  after  this  manner,  he  dictated  a 
prescription  to  the  apothecary,  looking  in  the  glass  all  the  time, 
adjusting  the  dress  of  his  hair,  and  twisting  his  visage  into  shapes 
which  set  me  laughing  in  spite  of  my  debility.  At  length  he  took 
his  leave,  with  a  slight  inclination  of  the  head,  and  went  his  way, 
more  taken  with  the  contemplation  of  his  own  pretty  person  than 
anxious  about  the  success  of  his  remedies. 

After  his  departure,  the  apothecary,  not  to  have  the  trouble  of  a 
visit  for  nothing,  made  ready  to  proceed  as  it  is  prescribed  in  cer- 
tain cases.  Whether  he  was  afraid  that  the  old  woman's  skill  was 
not  equal  to  the  exigency,  or  whether  he  meant  to  enhance  his  own 
services  by  assiduity,  he  chose  to  operate  in  person  ;  but  in  spite  of 
practice  and  experience,  accidents  will  happen.  Haste  to  return 
bene^t^  ig  ^fflpng  the  most  amiable  propensities  of  our  nature;  and 


/ 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8.  419 

Bucli  was  my  eagerness  not  to  be  behindhand  with  my  benefactor, 
that  his  velvet  dress  bore  immediate  testimony  to  the  profuseness  of 
my  gratitude.  This  he  considered  merely  as  one  of  those  little 
occurrences  which  checker  the  fortunes  of  the  pharmaceutical  pro- 
fession. A  napkin  is  a  resource  for  everything  in  a  sick-room,  and 
least  said  was  soonest  mended ;  so  he  wiped  himself  quietly,  vowing 
indemnity  and  vengeance  to  himself  for  the  necessity  under  which 
he  unquestionably  labored  of  sending  his  clothes  to  the  scourer. 

On  the  following  morning  he  returned  to  the  attack  more 
modestly  equipped,  though  there  was  then  no  risk  of  my  springing 
a  countprmine,  as  he  had  only  to  administer  the  potion  which  the 
doctor  had  prescribed  the  evening  before.  Besides  that  I  felt  my- 
self getting  better  every  moment,  I  had  taken  such  a  dislike  since 
the  day  before  to  the  pill-dispensing  tribe,  as  to  curse  the  very 
universities  where  these  graduated  cutthroats  kept  their  exercises 
in  the  faculty  of  slaying.  In  this  temper  of  mind  I  declared,  with  a 
round  oath,  that  I  would  not  accept  of  health  through  such  a 
medium,  but  would  willingly  make  over  Hippocrates  and  his  myr- 
midons to  the  devil.  The  apothecary,  who  did  not  care  a  doit  what 
became  of  his  compound,  if  it  was  but  paid  for,  left  the  vial  on  the 
table,  and  stalked  away  in  Telamonian  silence. 

I  immediately  ordered  that  bitch  of  a.  medicine  to  be  thrown  out 
of  the  window,  having  set  myself  so  doggedly  against  it,  that  I 
would  as  soon  have  swallowed  arsenic.  Having  once  drawn  the 
sword,  I  threw  away  the  scabbard ;  and  erecting  my  tongue  into  an 
independent  potentate,  told  my  nurse  in  a  determined  tone  that 
she  must  absolutely  inform  me  what  had  become  of  my  master.  The 
old  lady,  fearing  lest  the  development  of  the  mystery  might  com- 
pletely overset  me,  or  thinking  possibly  that  her  prey  might  escape 
out  of  her  clutches  for  want  of  a  little  irritating  contradiction,  was 
most  provokingly  mute  ;  but  I  was  so  pressing  in  my  demand  to  be 
obeyed,  that  she  at  length  gave  me  a  decisive  answer:  "Worthy  sir, 
you  have  no  longer  any  master  but  your  own  will.  Count  Galiano 
is  gone  back  into  Sicily." 

I  could  not  believe  my  ears ;  and  yet  it  was  fatally  the  fact.  That 
nobleman,  on  the  second  day  of  my  indisposition,  being  afraid  of 
harboring  death  under  the  same  roof  with  him,  had  the  benevolence 
to  send  me  packing  with  my  little  effects  to  a  ready-furnished  room, 
where  providence  was  left  to  cure  or  a  nurse  to  kill  me,  as  it  hap- 
pened. While  the  alternative  was  tottering  on  the  balance,  he  was 
ordered  back  into  Sicily,  and  in  the  headlong  haste  of  his  obedience, 
never  thought  about  me;  whether  it  was  that  he  numbered  me 
already  among  the  dead,  or  that  great  lords,  like  great  wits,  have 
short  memories. 


420  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

My  nurse  gave  me  these  particulars,  and  informed  me  that  it  was 
she  who  had  called  in  a  physician  and  an  apothecary,  that  I  might 
not  die  without  professional  honors.  I  fell  into  profound  musing 
at  this  fine  story.  Farewell  my  brilliant  establishment  in  Sicily  1 
Farewell  my  budding  hopes  and  blushing  honors!  "When  any 
great  misfortune  shall  have  befallen  you,"  says  a  certain  pope, 
"  look  well  to  your  own  conduct,  and  yoil  will  find  that  there  is 
always  something  wrong  at  the  bottom  of  it."  With  all  reverent 
submission  to  his  holiness,  I  cannot  help  thinking  myself  in  this 
instance  an  exception  to  the  infallibility  of  his  maxim.  How  the 
deuce  was  I  to  blame  for  being  visited  by  a  fever  ?  There  was  more 
reason  for  remorse  in  the  monkey  or  his  master  than  in  me. 

When  I  beheld  the  flattering  chimeras  with  which  my  head  was 
filled  all  vanishing  into  air,  into  thin  air,  the  first  thing  that  wor- 
ried my  poor  brain  was  my  portmanteau,  which  I  ordered  to  be  laid 
upon  my  bed  to  examine  it.  I  groaned  heavily  on  discovering  that 
it  had  been  opened.  "  Alas !  my  dear  portmanteau,"  exclaimed  I, 
"  my  only  hope,  consolation,  and  refuge !  You  have  been,  to  all 
appearance,  a  prisoner  in  an  enemy's  country."  "  No,  no,  Signor 
Gil  Bias,"  said  the  old  woman ;  "  make  yourself  easy  on  that  head ; 
you  have  not  fallen  among  thieves.  Your  baggage  is  as  immaculate 
as  my  honor." 

I  found  the  dress  I  had  on  at  my  first  entrance  into  the  count's 
service ;  but  it  was  in  vain  to  look  for  that  which  my  friend  from 
Messina  had  ordered  for  me  as  a  member  of  the  household.  My 
master  had  not  thought  fit  to  leave  me  in  possession  of  it,  or  else 
some  one  had  made  free  with  it.  All  my  other  little  matters  were 
safe,  and  even  a  large  leather  purse  with  my  coin  in  it,  which  I 
counted  over  twice,  not  being  able  to  believe  at  first  that  there 
could  be  only  fifty  pistoles  remaining  out  of  two  hundred  and  sixty, 
which  was  the  balance  of  the  account  before  my  illness.  "  What  is 
the  meaning  of  all  this,  my  good  lady?"  said  I  to  the  nurse.  "Here 
is  a  leak  in  the  vessel."  "  No  living  soul  but  myself  has  touched  a 
farthing,"  answered  the  old  woman,  "  and  I  have  been  as  good  an 
economist  for  you  as  possible.  But  illness  is  very  expensive ;  one 
must  always  have  one's  money  in  one's  hand.  Here !"  added  this 
excellent  economist,  taking  a  bundle  of  papers  out  of  her  pocket, 
"  this  is  a  statement  of  debtor  and  creditor,  as  exact  as  a  banker's 
book,  and  you  will  see  that  I  have  not  laid  out  the  veriest  trifle  in 
need-nots." 

I  ran  over  the  account  with  a  hasty  glance ;  for  it  extended  to 
fifteen  or  twenty  pages.  Mercy  on  us !  The  poulterers'  shops  must 
have  been  exhausted,  while  I  was  in  too  weak  a  state  to  take  suste- 
nance I    There  must  have  been  at  least  twelve  pistoles  stewed  down 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  421 

into  broths.  Other  articles  were  much  to  the  same  tune.  It  was 
incredible  what  a  sum  had  been  lavished  in  firing,  candles,  water, 
brooms,  and  innumerable  articles  of  housekeeping  and  house-clean- 
ing. After  all,  extortionate  as  the  bill  was,  the  utmost  ingenuity 
could  not  raise  it  above  thirty  pistoles,  and  consequently  there  was 
a  deficiency  of  a  hundred  and  eighty  to  make  the  account  even.  I 
just  ventured  to  point  that  out;  but  the  old  woman,  with  a  show 
of  simplicity  and  candor,  put  all  the  saints  in  the  calendar  into 
requisition  to  attest  that  there  were  no  more  than  eighty  pistoles  in 
the  purse  when  the  count's  steward  gave  her  charge  of  the  wallet. 
"What  say  you,  my  good  woman?"  interrupted  I  with  precipita- 
tion :  "  was  it  the  steward  who  placed  my  effects  in  your  hands  V 
"  To  be  sure  it  was,"  answered  she ;  "  the  very  man ;  and  with  this 
piece  of  advice:  'Here,  good  mother;  when  Gil  Bias  shall  be  num- 
bered with  the  dead,  do  not  fail  to  treat  him  with  a  handsome 
funeral :  there  is  in  this  wallet  wherewithal  to  defray  the  expenses.' " 

"  Ah !  most  pestiferous  Neapolitan  I"  exclaimed  I  in  the  bitter- 
ness of  my  heart.  "  I  am  no  longer  at  a  loss  to  conjecture  what  is 
become  of  the  deficiency.  You  have  swept  it  off  as  an  indemnity 
for  a  part  of  the  plunder  which  I  have  prevented  you  from  making 
free  with."  After  relieving  my  mind  by  exclamations,  I  returned 
thanks  to  Heaven  that  the  scoundrel  had  been  so  modest  as  not  to 
take  the  whole.  Yet  whatever  reason  I  had  for  believing  the  action 
to  be  perfectly  in  character  for  the  person  to  whom  it  was  imputed, 
the  nurse  had  not  altogether  cleared  herself  from  my  suspicions. 
They  hovered  sometimes  over  one  and  sometimes  over  the  other; 
but  let  them  light  where  they  would,  it  was  all  the  same  to  me.  I 
said  nothing  about  the  matter  to  the  old  woman  ;  not  even  so  much 
as  to  haggle  about  the  items  of  her  fine  bill.  I  should  not  have 
been  an  atom  the  richer  for  doing  so ;  and  we  must  all  live  by  our 
trades.  The  utmost  of  my  malice  was  to  pay  her  and  send  her 
packing  three  days  afterwards. 

I  am  inclined  to  think  that  at  her  departure  she  gave  the  apothe- 
cary notice  of  her  quitting  the  premises,  and  having  left  me 
sufiiciently  in  possession  of  myself  to  take  French  leave  without 
acknowledging  my  obligations  to  him ;  for  she  had  not  been  gone 
many  minutes  before  he  came  in  puffing  and  blowing,  with  his  bill 
in  his  hand.  There,  under  names  which  had  escaped  my  conscrip- 
tion, though  as  arrant  a  physician  as  the  worst  of  them,  he  had  set 
down  all  the  hypothetical  remedies  which  he  insisted  that  I  had 
taken  during  the  time  when  I  could  take  nothing.  This  bill  might 
truly  be  called  the  epitome  of  an  apothecary's  conscience.  Such 
being  the  case,  we  had  a  bustle  about  the  payment.  I  pleaded  for 
an  abatement  of  one  half     He  swore  that  he  would  not  take  a  doit 


422  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

leaa  than  his  just  demand.  He  kept  his  oath,  and  yet  relaxed ;  for 
considering  that  he  had  to  do  with  a  young  man  who  might  run 
away  from  Madrid  within  four-and-twenty  hours,  he  preferred  my 
offer  of  three  hundred  per  cent,  on  the  prime  cost  of  his  drugs, 
though  a  pitiful  profit  for  an  apothecary,  to  the  risk  of  losing  all. 
I  counted  out  the  money  with  an  aching  heart,  and  he  withdrew, 
chuckling  over  his  revenge  for  the  scurvy  trick  I  had  played  him 
on  the  day  of  evacuation. 

The  physician  made  his  appearance  next ;  for  beasts  of  prey  in- 
habit the  same  latitudes.  I  paid  him  for  his  visits,  which  had  been 
quite  as  frequent  as  necessary,  and  his  object  was  answered.  But  he 
would  not  leave  me  without  proving  how  hardly  he  had  earned  his 
money,  for  that  he  had  not  only  expelled  the  enemy  from  the  in- 
terior, but  had  defended  the  frontiers  from  the  attack  of  all  the  dis- 
orders on  the  army  list  of  the  materia  medica.  He  talked  very 
learnedly,  with  good  emphasis  and  discretion ;  so  much  so,  that  1 
did  not  comprehend  one  word  he  said.  When  I  had  got  rid  of  him, 
I  flattered  myself  that  the  destinies  had  now  done  their  worst.  But 
I  was  mistaken ;  for  there  came  a  surgeon  whose  face  I  had  never 
seen  in  the  whole  course  of  my  life.  He  accosted  me  very  politely, 
and  congratulated  me  on  the  imminent  danger  from  which  I  had 
escaped,  attributing  the  happy  issue  of  my  complaints  to  those 
which  he  had  himself  cut,  with  the  profuse  application  of  bleeding, 
cupping,  blistering,  and  all  sorts  of  torments,  consequent  and  in- 
consequent Another  feather  out  of  my  poor  wing  I  I  was  obliged 
to  pay  toll  to  the  surgeon  also.  After  so  many  purgatives,  my 
purse  was  brought  to  such  a  state  of  debility  that  it  might  be 
considered  as  dead  and  gone — a  mere  skeleton,  drained  of  all  its 
vital  juices. 

My  spirits  began  to  flag  on  the  contemplation  of  my  wretched 
case.  In  the  service  of  my  last  two  masters  I  had  wedded  myself 
to  the  pomps  and  vanities  of  this  wicked  world,  and  could  no 
longer,  as  heretofore,  look  poverty  in  the  face  with  the  sternness  of 
a  cynic.  It  must  be  owned,  however,  that  I  was  in  the  wrong  to 
give  way  to  melancholy,  after  experiencing  so  often  that  fortune 
had  never  cast  me  down  but  for  the  purpose  of  raising  me  up 
again  ;  so  that  my  pitiful  plight  at  the  present  moment,  if  rightly 
considered,  was  only  to  be  hailed  as  the  harbinger  of  approaching 
prosperity. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  428 


BOOK  VIII. 


CHAPTER    I. 

ML  BLAS  SCRAPES  AN  ACQUAINTANCE  OF  SOME  VALUE.     DON  VALEBIO' 
DE  LUNA'S  STORY. 

IT  seemed  so  strange  to  have  heard  not  a  syllable  from  Nunez 
during  this  long  interval,  that  I  concluded  he  must  be  in  the 
country.  I  went  to  look  after  him  as  soon  as  I  could  walk,  and 
found  the  fact  to  be  that  he  had  gone  into  Andalusia  three  weeks 
ago,  with  the  Duke  of  Medina  Sidonia. 

One  morning,  when  rubbing  my  eyes  after  a  sound  sleep,  Mel- 
chior  de  la  Ronda  started  into  my  recollection ;  and  that  bringing 
to  mind  my  promise,  at  Granada,  of  going  to  see  his  nephew,  if  ever 
I  should  return  to  Madrid,  it  seemed  advisable  not  to  defer  fulfilling 
my  promise  for  a  single  day.  I  inquired  where  Don  Balthazar  de 
Zunigna  lived,  and  went  thither  straightway.  On  asking  if  Signor 
Joseph  Navarro  was  at  home,  he  made  his  appearance  immediately. 
We  exchanged  bows  with  a  well-bred  coolness  on  his  part,  though 
I  had  taken  care  to  announce  my  name  audibly.  There  was  no  re- 
conciling such  a  frosty  reception  with  the  glowing  portrait  ascribed 
to  this  paragon  of  the  buttery.  I  was  just  going  to  withdraw  in  the 
full  determination  of  not  coming  again,  when,  assuming  all  at  once 
an  open  and  smiling  aspect,  he  said,  with  considerable  earnestness, 
"Ah  I  Signor  Gil  Bias  de  Santillane,  pray  forgive  the  formality  of 
your  welcome.  My  memory  ill  seconded  the  warmth  of  my  dispo- 
sition towards  you.  Your  name  had  escaped  me,  and  was  not  at 
the  moment  identified  with  the  gentleman  of  whom  mention  was 
made  in  a  letter  from  Granada  more  than  four  months  ago. 

"  How  happy  I  am  to  see  you  I"  added  he,  shaking  hands  with 
.ne  most  cordially.  "  My  uncle  Melchior,  whom  I  love  and  honor 
like  my  natural  father,  charges  me,  if  by  chance  I  should  have  the 
honor  of  seeing  you,  to  entertain  you  as  his  own  son,  and  in  case  of 
need,  to  stretch  my  own  credit  and  that  of  my  friends  to  the  utmost 
in  your  behalf.  He  extols  the  qualities  of  your  heart  and  mind  in 
terms  sufiicient  of  themselves  to  engage  me  in  your  service,  though 
his  recommendation  had  not  been  added  to  the  other  motives.  Con- 
sider me,  therefore,  I  entreat  you,  as  participating  in  all  my  uncle's 
sentiments.  You  may  depend  on  my  friendship ;  let  me  hoi)e  for 
an  equal  share  in  yours." 


424  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

I  replied  to  Joseph's  polite  assurances  in  suitable  terms  of  ac- 
knowledgment ;  so  that,  being  both  of  us  warni-heartefl  and  sincere, 
a  close  intimacy  sprung  up  without  waiting  for  common  forms.  I 
felt  no  embarrassment  about  laying  open  the  state  of  my  affairs. 
This  I  had  no  sooner  done  than  he  said,  "  I  take  upon  myself  the 
care  of  finding  you  a  situation ;  meanwhile,  there  is  a  knife  and 
fork  for  you  here  every  day.  You  will  live  rather  better  than  at  an 
ordinary."  This  offer  was  sure  to  be  well  relished  by  an  invalid  just 
recovering,  with  a  fastidious  palate  and  an  empty  pocket.  It  could 
not  but  be  accepted ;  and  I  picked  up  my  crumbs  so  fast  that  at  the 
end  of  a  fortnight  I  began  to  look  like  a  rosy-gilled  son  of  the 
church.  It  struck  me  that  Melchior's  nephew  larded  his  lean  sides 
to  some  purpose.  But  how  could  it  be  otherwise?  he  had  three 
strings  to  his  bow,  as  holding  the  undermentioned  pluralities :  the 
butler's  place,  the  clerkship  of  the  kitchen,  and  the  stewardship. 
Furthermore,  without  meaning  to  question  my  friend's  honesty,  they 
do  say  that  the  comptroller  of  the  household  and  h&  looked  over 
each  other's  hands. 

My  recovery  was  entirely  confirmed,  when  my  friend  Joseph,  on 
my  coming  in  to  dinner  as  usual  one  day,  said,  with  an  air  of  con- 
gratulation, ".Signor  Gil  Bias,  I  have  a  very  tolerable  situation  in 
view  for  you.  You  must  know  that  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  first  min- 
ister of  the  crown  of  Spain,  giving  himself  up  entirely  to  state 
affairs,  throws  the  burden  of  his  own  on  two  confidential  persons. 
Don  Diego  de  Monteser  takes  the  charge  of  collecting  his  rents,  and 
Don  Eodrigo  de  Calderona  superintends  the  finances  of  his  house- 
hold^. These  two  officers  are  paramount  in  their  departments,  hav- 
ing nothing  to  do  with  one  another.  Don  Diego  has  generally  two 
deputies  to  transact  the  business  ;  and  finding  just  now  that  one  of 
them  had  been  discharged,  I  have  been  canvassing  for  you.  Signor 
Monteser,  having  the  greatest  possible  regard  for  me,  granted  my 
request  at  once,  on  the  strength  of  my  testimony  to  your  morals  and 
capacity.    We  will  pay  our  respects  to  him  after  dinner." 

We  did  not  miss  our  appointment.  I  was  received  with  every 
mark  of  favor,  and  promoted  in  the  room  of  the  dismissed  deputy. 
My  business  consisted  in  visiting  the  farms,  in  giving  orders  for  the 
necessary  repairs,  in  dunning  the  farmers,  and  keeping  them  to  time 
in  their  payments ;  in  a  word,  the  tenants  were  all  under  my  thumb, 
and  Don  Diego  checked  my  accounts  every  month  with  a  minuteness 
which  few  receivers  could  have  borne.  But  this  was  exactly  what  I 
wanted.  Though  my  uprightness  had  been  so  ill  requited  by  my 
late  master,  it  was  my  only  inheritance,  and  I  was  determined  not 
to  sell  the  reversion. 

One  '^.ay  news  came  that  the  castle  of  Lerma  had  taken  fire,  and 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  425 

was  more  than  half  burned  down.  I  immediately  went  thither  to 
estimate  the  loss.  Informing  myself  to  a  nicety,  and  on  the  spot, 
respecting  all  the  particulars  of  the  unlucky  accident,  I  drew  up  a 
detailed  narrative,  which  Monteser  showed  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma. 
That  minister,  though  vexed  at  the  circumstance,  was  struck  with 
the  memorial,  and  inquired  who  was  the  author.  Don  Diego  thought 
it  not  enough  to  answer  the  question,,  but  spoke  of  me  in  such  high 
terms  that  his  excellency  recollected  it  six  months  afterwards,  on 
occasion  of  an  incident  I  shall  now  relate,  had  it  not  been  for 
which  I  might  never,  perhaps,  have  been  employed  at  court.  It 
was  as  follows : — 

There  lived  at  that  time,  in  Princes  street,  an  elderly  lady,  by 
name  Inesilla  de  Cantarilla.  Her  birth  was  a  matter  of  mystery. 
Some  said  she  -was  the  daughter  of  a  musical  instrument  maker, 
and  others  gave  her  a  high  military  extraction.  However  that 
might  be,  she  was  a  very  extraordinary  personage.  Nature  had 
gifted  her  with  the  singular  talent  of  winning  men's  hearts,  in  defi- 
ance of  time,  and  in  contradiction  to  her  own  laws;  for  she  was 
now  entering  upon  the  fourth  quarter  of  her  century.  She  had  been 
the  reigning  toast  of  the  old  court,  and  levied  tribute  on  the  pas- 
sions of  the  new.  Age,  though  at  daggers  drawn  with  beauty,  was 
completely  foiled  in  its  assault  upon  her  charms ;  they  might  be 
somewhat  faded,  but  the  touch  of  sympathy  they  excited  in  their 
decline  was  more  pleasing  than  the  vivid  glow  of  their  meridian 
lustre.  An  air  of  dignity,  a  transporting  wit  and  humor,  an  unbor- 
rowed grace  in  her  deportment,  perpetuated  the  reign  of  passion, 
and  silenced  the  suggestions  of  reason. 

Don  Valerio  de  Luna,  one  of  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  secretaries,  a 
young  fellow  of  five-and-twenty,  meeting  with  Inesilla,  fell  violently 
in  love  with  her.  He  made  his  sentiments  known,  enacted  all  the 
mummery  of  despair,  and  followed  up  the  usual  catastrophe  of 
every  amorous  drama  so  much  according  to  the  unities  and  rules 
that  it  was  difficult,  in  the  torrent  and  whirlwind  of  his  passion,  to 
beget  a  temperance  that  might  give  it  smoothness.  The  lady,  who 
had  her  reason  for  not  choosing  to  fall  in  with  his  humor,  was  at 
a  loss  how  to  get  out  of  the  difficulty.  One  day  she  was  in  hopes  to 
have  found  the  means  by  calling  the  young  man  into  her  closet,  and 
there  pointing  to  a  clock  upon  the  table.  "  Mark  the  precise  hour," 
said  she  ;  "just  seventy-five  years  ago  was  I  brought  upon  the  stage 
of  this  fantastical  world.  In  good  earnest,  would  it  sit  well  upon  my 
time  of  life  to  be  engaged  in  affairs  of  gallantry?  Betake  yourself 
to  reflection,  my  good  child ;  stifle  sentiments  so  unsuitable  to  your 
own  circumstances  and  mine."  Sensible  as  this  language  was,  the 
spark,  no  longer  bowing  to  the  authority  of  reason,  answered  the 


426  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

lady  with  all  the  impetuosity  of  a  man  racked  by  the  most  excruci- 
ating torments.  "  Cruel  Inesilla,"  said  he,  "  why  have  you  recourse 
to  such  frivolous  remonstrances?  Do  you  think  you  can  change 
your  charms,  or  my  desires  ?  Delude  not  yourself  with  so  false  a 
hope.  As  long  as  your  loveliness  or  my  delusion  lasts,  I  shall  never 
cease  to  adore  you."  "  Well,  then,"  rejoined  she,  "  since  you  are 
obstinate  enough  to  persist  in  the  resolution  of  wearying  me  with 
your  importunities,  my  doors  shall  henceforth  be  shut  against  you. 
You  are  banished,  and  I  beg  to  be  no  longer  troubled  with  your 
company." 

It  may  be  supposed,  perhaps,  that  after  this  Don  Valerio,  baffled, 
made  good  his  retreat,  like  a  prudent  general.  Quite  the  reverse ! 
He  became  more  troublesome  than  ever.  Love  is  to  lovers  just  what 
wine  is  to  drunkards.  The  swain  entreated,  sighed,  looked,  and 
sighed  again,  when  all  at  once,  changing  his  note  from  childish 
treble  to  the  big,  manly  voice  of  bluster  and  ravishment,  he  swore 
that  he  would  have  by  foul  means  what  he  could  not  obtain  by  fair. 
But  the  lady,  repulsing  him  courageously,  said,  with  a  piercing 
look  of  strong  resentment,  "  Hold,  imprudent  wretch  I  I  shall  put  a 
curb  on  your  mad  career.     Learn  that  you  are  my  own  son." 

Don  Valerio  was  thunderstruck  with  these  words  ;  the  tempest  of 
his  rage  subsided.  But,  conjecturing  that  Inesilla  had  only  started 
this  device  to  rid  herself  of  his  solicitations,  he  answered,  "  That  is 
a  mere  romance  of  the  moment  to  steal  away  from  my  ardent  de- 
sires." "  No,  no,"  said  she,  interrupting  him  j  "  I  disclose  a  mys- 
tery which  should  have  been  forever  buried,  had  you  not  reduced 
me  to  so  painful  a  necessity.  It  is  six-and-twenty  years  since  I  was 
in  love  with  your  father,  Don  Pedro  de  Luna,  then  governor  of 
Segovia ;  you  were  the  fruit  of  our  mutual  passion  ;  he  owned  you, 
brought  you  up  with  care  and  tenderness,  and  having  no  children 
born  in  wedlock,  he  had  nothing  to  hinder  him  from  distinguishing 
your  good  qualities  by  the  gifts  of  fortune.  On  my  part,  I  have  not 
forsaken  you.  As  soon  as  you  were  of  an  age  to  be  introduced  into 
the  world,  I  drew  you  into  the  circle  of  my  acquaintance,  to  form 
your  manners  to  that  polish  of  good  company  so  necessary  for  a 
gentleman,  which  is  only  to  be  gained  in  female  society.  1  have  done 
more :  I  have  employed  all  my  credit  to  introduce  you  to  the  prime 
minister.  In  short,  I  have  interested  myself  for  you  as  I  should 
have  done  for  my  own  son.  After  this  confession,  take  your  meas- 
ures accordingly.  If  you  can  purge  your  affections  from  their  dross, 
and  look  on  me  as  a  mother,  you  are  not  banished  from  my  pres- 
ence, and  I  shall  treat  you  with  my  accustomed  tenderness.  But  if 
you  are  not  equal  to  an  effort  which  nature  and  reason  demand  from 
you,  fly  instantly,  and  release  me  Irom  the  horror  of  beholding  you." 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS.  427 

Inesilla  spoke  to  this  effect.  Meanwhile  Don  Valerio  preserved  a 
sullen  silence;,  it  might  have  been  interpreted  into  a  virtuous 
struggle — a  conquest  over  the  weakness  of  his  heart.  But  his  pur^ 
poses  were  far  different ;  he  had  another  scene  to  act  before  his 
mother.  Unable  to  withstand  the  total  overthrow  of  all  his  wild 
projects,  he  basely  yielded  to  despair.  Drawing  his  sword,  he 
plunged  it  in  his  own  bosom.  His  fate  resembled  that  of  CEdipus, 
with  this  distinction,  that  the  Theban  put  out  his  own  eyes  from 
remorse  for  the  crime  he  had  perpetrated,  while  the  Castilian,  on 
the  contrary,  committed  suicide  from  disappointment  at  the  frustra- 
tion of  his  purposes. 

The  unhappy  Don  Valerio  was  not  released  from  his  sufferings 
immediately.  He  had  leisure  left  for  recollection,  and  for  making 
his  peace  with  Heaven,  before  he  rushed  into  the  presence  of  his 
Maker.  As  his  death  vacated  one  of  the  secretaryships  on  the  Duke 
of  Lerma's  establishment,  that  minister,  not  having  forgotten  my 
memoir  on  the  subject  of  the  fire,  nor  the  high  character  he  had 
beard  of  me,  nominated  me  to  succeed  to  the  post  in  question. 


CHAPTER   II. 


GIL   BLAS  IS  INTEODTTCED  TO  THE  DUKE  OF  LEEMA,  WHO  ADMITS   HIM 
AMONG  THE  NUMBEK  OF  HIS  SECEETAEIES. 

MONTESER  was  the  person  to  inform  me  of  this  agreeable 
circumstance,  which  he  did  in  the  following  terms :  "  My 
friend  Gil  Bias,  though  I  do  not  lose  you  without  regret,  I  am  too 
much  your  well-wisher  not  to  be  delighted  at  your  promotion  in  the 
room  of  Don  Valerio.  You  cannot  fail  to  make  a  princely  fortune, 
provided  you  act  upon  two  hints  which  I  have  to  give  you;  the 
first,  to  affect  so  total  a  devotion  to  his  excellency's  good  pleasure 
as  to  leave  no  room  to  conceive  it  possible  that  you  have  any  other 
object  or  interest  in  life ;  the  second,  to  pay  your  court  assiduously 
to  Signor  Don  Rodrigo  de  Calderona,  for  that  personage  models  and 
remodels,  fashions  and  touches  upon  the  mind  of  his  master,  just  as 
if  it  was  clay  under  the  hands  of  the  designer.  If  you  are  fortunate 
enough  to  chime  in  with  that  favorite  secretary,  you  will  travel  post 
to  wealth  and  honor,  and  find  relays  upon  the  road." 

"  Sir,"  said  I  to  Don  Diego,  returning  him  thanks  at  the  same  time 
for  his  good  advice,  "  be  pleased  to  give  some  little  opening  to  Don 


428  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Eodrigo's  character.  I  have  heard  a  few  anecdotes  of  him.  One 
would  suppose  him,  from  some  accounts,  not  to  be  the  best  creature 
in  the  world;  but  the  people  at  large  are  inveterate  caricaturists 
when  they  draw  courtiers  at  full  length  ;  though,  after  all,  the  like- 
ness will  strike,  in  spite  of  the  aggravation.  Tell  me  therefore,  I 
beseech  you,  what  is  your  own  sincere  opinion  of  Signer  Calderona." 
"That  is  rather  an  awkward  question,"  answered  my  principal,  with 
an  ironical  smile.  "  I  should  tell  any  one  but  yourself,  without 
flinching,  that  he  was  a  gentleman  of  the  strictest  honor;  upon  whose 
fair  fame  the  breath  of  calumny  had  never  dared  to  blow ;  but  I 
really  cannot  put  oflfsuch  a  copy  of  my  countenance  upon  you.  Re- 
lying as  I  do  on  your  discretion,  it  becomes  a  duty  to  deal  candidly 
in  the  delineation  of  Don  Rodrigo ;  for  without  that,  it  would  be 
playing  fast  and  loose  with  you  to  recommend  the  cultivation  of  his 
good  will. 

"  You  are  to  know,  then,  that  when  his  excellency  was  no  more 
than  plain  Don  Francisco  de  Sandoval,  this  man  had  the  humility 
to  serve  him  as  his  lackey  ;  since  which  time  he  has  risen  by  degrees 
to  the  post  of  principal  secretary.  A  prouder  excrescence  of  the  dung- 
hill never  sprung  into  vegetation  on  a  summer's  day.  He  considers 
himself  as  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  colleague ,  and  in  point  of  fact,  he 
may  truly  be  said  to  parcel  out  the  loaves  and  fishes  of  administra- 
tion, since  he  gives  away  offices  and  governments  at  the  suggestions 
of  his  own  caprice.  The  public  grumbles  and  growls  upon  occasion ; 
but  who  cares  for  the  grumbling  and  growling  of  the  public  ?  Let 
him  steal  a  pair  of  gloves  from  the  prostitution  of  political  honor, 
and  the  bronze  upon  his  forehead  will  be  proof  against  the  peltings 
of  scandal.  What  I  have  said  will  decide  your  dealings  toward  so 
supercilious  a  compound  of  dust  and  ashes,"  "  Yes,  to  be  sure,"  said 
I ;  "  leave  me  alone  for  that.  It  will  be  strange  indeed  if  I  cannot 
wriggle  myself  into  his  good  graces.  If  one  can  but  get  on  the  blind 
side  of  a  man  who  is  to  be  made  a  property,  it  must  be  want  of  skill 
in  the  player  if  the  game  is  lost."  "  Exactly  so,"  replied  Monteser ; 
"  and  now  I  will  introduce  you  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma." 

We  went  at  once  to  the  minister,  whom  we  found  in  his  audience- 
chamber.  His  levee  was  more  crowded  than  the  king's.  There  were 
commanders  and  knights  of  St.  James  and  of  Calatrava,  making 
interest  for  governments  and  viceroyalties ;  bishops,  who,  laboring 
under  oppression  of  the  breath  and  tightness  of  the  chest  in  their 
own  dioceses,  had  been  recommended  the  air  of  an  archbishopric  by 
their  physicians,  while  the  sounder  lungs  of  lower  dignitaries  were 
strong  enough  to  inhale  the  Theban  atmosphere  of  a  suffragan  see. 
I  observed,  besides,  some  reduced  officers  dancing  attendance  to 
Captain  Chinchilla's  tune,  and  catching  cold  in  fishing  for  a  pension 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  429 

which  was  never  likely  to  pay  the  doctor  for  their  cure.  If  the  duke 
did  not  satisfy  their  wants,  he  put  a  pleasant  face  upon  their  impor- 
tunities ;  and  it  struck  me  that  he  returned  a  civil  answer  to  all  ap- 
plicants. 

"We  waited  patiently  till  the  routine  of  ceremony  was  despatched. 
Then  said  Don  Diego,  "  My  lord,  this  is  Gil  Bias  de  Santillane,  the 
young  man  appointed  by  your  excellency  to  succeed  Don  Valerio." 
The  duke  now  took  more  particular  notice  of  me,  saying  obligingly, 
that  I  had  already  earned  my  promotion  by  my  services.  He  then 
took  me  to  a  private  conference  in  his  closet,  or  rather  to  an  exami- 
nation. My  birth,  parentage,  and  course  of  life-were  the  objects  of 
his  inquiry ;  nor  would  he  be  satisfied  without  the  particulars,  and 
those  in  the  spirit  of  sincerity.  What  a  career  to  run  over  before  a 
patron !  Yet  it  was  impossible  to  lie  in  the  presence  of  a  prime  min- 
ister. On  the  other  hand,  my  vanity  was  concerned  in  suppressing 
so  many  circumstances,  that  there  was  no  venturing  on  an  unquali- 
fied confession.  What  cunning  scene  had  Roscius  then  to  act !  A 
little  painting  and  tattooing  might  decently  be  employed,  to  dis- 
guise the  nakedness  of  Truth,  and  spare  her  unsophisticated  blushes. 
But  he  had  studied  her  complexion,  as  well  as  the  beauties  of  her 
natural  form.  "Monsieur  de  Santillane,"  said  he  with  a  smile  on 
the  close  of  my  narrative,  "  I  perceive  that  hitherto  you  have  had 
your  principles  to  choose."  "  My  lord,"  answered  I,  coloring  up 
to  the  eyes,  "  your  excellency  enjoined  me  to  deal  sincerely,  and 
I  have  complied  with  your  orders."  "  I  take  your  doing  so  in  good 
part,"  replied  he.  "  It  is  all  very  well,  my  good  fellow :  you  ha^e 
escaped  from  the  snares  of  this  wicked  world  more  by  luck  than 
management :  it  is  wonderful  that  bad  example  should  not  have  cor- 
rupted you  irreparably.  There  are  many  men  of  strict  virtue  and 
exemplary  piety  who  would  have  turned  out  the  greatest  rogues  in 
existence  if  their  destinies  had  exposed  them  to  but  half  your 
trials. 

"  Friend  Santillane,"  continued  the  minister,  "  ponder  no  longer 
on  the  past ;  consider  yourself,  as  to  the  very  bone  and  marrow,  the 
king's ;  live  henceforth  but  for  his  service.  Come  this  way ;  I  will 
instruct  you  in  the  nature  of  your  business."  He  carried  me  into  a 
little  closet  adjoining  his  own,  which  contained  a  score  of  thick  folio 
registers.  "  This  is  your  workshop,"  said  he.  "All  these  registers 
compose  an  alphabetical  peerage,  giving  the  heraldry  and  history 
of  all  the  nobility  and  gentry  in  the  several  kingdoms  and  princi- 
palities of  the  Spanish  monarchy.  In  these  volumes  are  recorded 
the  services  rendered  to  the  state  by  the  present  possessors  and  their 
ancestors,  descending  even  to  the  personal  animosities  and  ren- 
counters of  the  individuals  and  their  houses.    Their  fortunes,  their 


430  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

manners,  in  a  word,  all  the  pros  and  cons  of  their  character,  are  set 
down  according  to  the  letter  of  ministerial  scrutiny,  so  that  they  no 
sooner  enter  on  the  list  of  court  candidates,  than  my  eye  catches  up 
the  very  chapter  and  verse  of  their  pretensions.  To  furnish  this 
necessary  information,  I  have  pensioned  scouts'everywhere  on  the 
lookout,  who  send  me  private  notices  of  their  discoveries ;  but  as 
these  documents  are  for  the  most  part  drawn  up  in  a  gossiping  and 
provincial  style,  they  require  to  be  translated  into  gentlemanly  lan- 
guage, or  the  king  would  not  be  able  to  support  the  perusal  of 
the  registers.  The  task  demands  the  pen  of  a  polite  and  perspic- 
uous writer;  I  doubt  not  but  you  will  justify  your  claim  to  the 
appointment." 

After  this  introduction,  he  put  a  memorial  into  my  hand,  taken 
from  a  large  portfolio  full  of  papers,  and  then  withdrew  from  my 
closet,  that  my  first  specimen  might  be  manufactured  in  all  the 
freedom  of  solitude.  I  read  the  memorial,  which  was  not  only 
stuffed  with  a  most  uncouth  jargon,  but  breathed  a  brimstone  spirit 
of  rancor  and  personal  revenge.  This  was  most  foul,  strange,  and 
unnatural !  for  the  homily  was  written  by  a  monk.  He  hacked  and 
hewed  a  Catalan  family  of  some  note  most  unmercifully;  with  what 
reason  or  truth,  it  must  be  reserved  for  a  more  penetrating  inquirer 
to  decide.  It  read,  for  all  the  world,  like  an  infamous  libel,  and  I 
had  some  scruples  about  becoming  the  publisher  of  the  calumny ; 
nevertheless,  young  as  I  was  at  court,  I  plunged  headforemost,  at 
the  risk  of  sinking  and  destroying  his  reverence's  soul.  The  wick- 
edness, if  there  was  any,  would  be  put  down  to  his  running  account 
with  the  recording  angel ;  I  therefore  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  vil- 
ify, in  the  present  Spanish  phraseology,  some  two  or  three  genera- 
tions of  honest  men  and  loyal  subjects. 

I  had  already  blackened  four  or  five  pages,  when  the  duke,  impa- 
tient to  know  how  I  got  on,  came  back  and  said,  "  Santillane,  show 
me  what  you  have  done  ;  I  am  curious  to  see  it."  At  the  same  time, 
casting  his  eye  over  the  transcript,  he  read  the  beginning  with  much 
attention.  It  seemed  to  please  him ;  strange  that  he  could  be  so 
pleased  1  "  Prepossessed  as  I  have  been  in  your  favor,"  observed 
he,  "  I  must  own  that  you  have  surpassed  my  expectations.  It  is 
not  merely  the  elegance  and  distinctness  of  the  handwriting :  there 
is  something  animated  and  glowing  in  the  composition.  You  will 
do  ample  credit  to  my  choice,  and  fully  make  up  for  the  loss  of  your 
predecessor."  He  would  not  have  cut  my  panegyric  so  short,  if  his 
nephew,  the  Count  de  Lemos,  had  not  interrupted  him  in  the  middle 
of  it.  By  the  warmth  and  frequency  of  his  excellency's  welcome,  it 
was  evident  that  they  were  the  best  friends  in  the  world.  They  were 
immediately  closeted  together  on  some  family  business,  of  which  I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  431 

shall  speak  in  the  sequel.    The  king's  affairs  at  this  time  were 
obliged  to  play  second  to  those  of  the  minister. 

While  they  were  caballing  it  struck  twelve.  As  I  knew  that  the 
secretaries  and  their  clerks  quitted  office  at  that  hour  to  go  and  dine 
wherever  their  business  and  desire  should  point  them,  I  left  my 
prize  performance  behind  me,  and  went  to  the  gayest  tavern  at  the 
court  end  of  the  town,  for  I  had  nothing  further  to  do  with  Mon- 
teser,  who  had  paid  my  salary  and  taken  his  leave  of  me.  But  a. 
common  eating-house  would  have  been  a  very  improper  place  for 
me  to  be  seen  in.  "  Consider  yourself,  as  to  the  very  bone  and 
marrow,  the  king's."  This  metaphorical  expression  of  the  duke 
had  given  birth  to  a  real  and  tangible  ambition  in  my  soul,  which 
put  forth  shoots  like  a  plantation  in  a  fat  and  unvexed  soil. 


CHAPTEE   III. 


ALL  IS  NOT  GOLD  THAT  GLITTERS.     SOME  UNEASINESS  EESXJLTING  FBOM 
THE  DISCOVERY  OF  THAT  PRINCIPLE  IN  PHILOSOPHY. 

I  TOOK  especial  care,  on  my  first  entrance,  to  instill  into  the 
tavern-keeper's  conception  that  I  was  secretary  to  the  prime 
minister ;  nor  was  it  easy,  in  that  view  of  my  rank  and  consequence, 
to  order  anything  sufficiently  sumptuous  for  dinner.  To  have 
selected  from  the  bill  of  fare  might  have  looked  as  if  I  descended 
to  the  meanness  of  calculation ;  I  therefore  told  him  to  send  up  the 
best  the  house  afforded.  My  orders  were  punctually  obeyed ;  and 
the  anxious  assiduity  of  the  attendants  pampered  my  fancy  as  much 
as  the  dishes  did  my  palate.  As  to  the  bill,  I  had  nothing  to  do 
with  it  but  to  pay  it.  Down  went  a  pistole  upon  the  table,  and  the 
waiters  pocketed  the  difference,  which  was  somewhat  more  than  a 
quarter.  After  this  display  of  grandeur  I  strutted  out,  practicing 
those  obstreperous  clearings  of  the  throat  which  announce,  by  empty 
sound,  the  approach  of  a  substantial  coxcomb. 

There  was  at  the  distance  of  twenty  yards  a  large  house  with 
lodgings  to  let,  principally  frequented  by  foreign  nobility.  I  rented 
at  once  a  suite  of  apartments,  consisting  of  five  or  six  rooms 
elegantly  furnished.  From  my  style  of  living,  any  one  would  have 
thought  I  had  two  or  three  thousand  ducats  of  yearly  income.  The 
first  month  was  paid  in  advance.  Afterwards  I  returned  to  busi- 
ness, and  employed  the  whole  afternoon  in  going  on  with  what  1 


432  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

had  begun  in  the  morning.  In  a  closet  adjoining  mine  there  were 
two  other  secretaries ;  but  their  office  was  only  to  copy  out  fair.  I 
got  acquainted  with  them  as  we  were  shutting  up  for  the  evening, 
and,  by  way  of  smoothing  the  first  overtures  towards  friendship, 
invited  them  home  with  me  to  my  tavern,  where  I  ordered  the 
choicest  delicacies  of  the  season,  with  a  profusion  of  the  most  ex" 
quisite  wines. 

We  sat  down  to  table,  and  began  bandying  about  more  merriment 
than  wit ;  for  with  all  due  deference  to  my  guests,  it  was  but  too 
visible  that  they  owed  their  official  situations  to  any  circumstance 
rather  than  to  their  abilities.  They  were  adepts,  it  must  be  con- 
fessed, in  all  the  history  and  mystery  of  scrivening  and  clerkship ; 
but  as  for  polite  literature  and  university  education,  there  was  not 
even  a  suspicion  of  it  in  all  their  talk. 

To  make  amends  for  that  defect,  they  had  a  keen  eye  to  the  main 
chance;  and  though  sensible  how  high  an  honor  it  was  to  be  on  the 
prime  minister's  establishment,  there  were  some  dashes  of  acid  in 
the  cup  of  good  fortune.  "  It  is  now  full  five  months,"  said  one  of 
them,  "that  we  have  been  serving  at  our  own  cost.  We  do  not 
touch  one  farthing  of  "salary ;  and,  what  is  worst  of  all,  our  very 
board  wages  are  shamefully  in  arrear.  There  is  no  knowing  what 
footing  we  are  upon."  "As  for  me,"  said  the  other,  "  I  would  will- 
ingly be  tied  up  to  the  halbert,  and  receive  a  percentage  in  lashes, 
for  the  liberty  of  changing  my  berth ;  but  I  dare  not  either  take 
myself  off  or  petition  for  my  discharge,  after  having  transcribed 
such  state  secrets  as  have  passed  under  my  inspection.  I  might 
chance  to  become  too  well  acquainted  with  the  tower  of  Segovia  or 
the  castle  of  Alicant." 

"  How  do  you  manage  for  a  subsistence,  then  ?"  said  I.  "  You 
must  of  course  have  means  of  your  own."  These  they  represented 
as  very  slender;  but  that,  fortunately  for  them,  they  lodged  with  a 
kind-hearted  widow,  who  boarded  them  on  tick,  at  the  rate  of  a 
hundred  pistoles  a  year  for  each.  These  anecdotes  of  a  court  life, 
not  one  of  which  escaped  me,  completely  ventilated  all  the  rising 
fumes  of  pride.  It  could  not  be  supposed  that  more  consideration 
would  be  shown  to  me  than  to  others,  and  consequently  there  was 
nothing  to  be  so  puffed  up  with  in  my  post ;  there  seemed  to  be 
much  cry  and  little  wool— a  discovery  which  rendered  it  expedient 
to  husband  my  finances  with  a  narrower  economy.  A  picture  like 
this  was  enough  to  cure  my  taste  for  treating.  I  repented  not 
having  left  these  secretaries  to  find  their  own  supper,  for  they 
played  a  most  cruel  knife  and  fork  at  mine ;  and,  when  the  bill  was 
brought,  I  squabbled  with  the  landlord  about  the  charges. 

We  parted  at  midnight;  and  the  early  breaking  up  was  to  be  laid 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  438 

at  my  door, ;  for  I  did  not  propose  another  bottle.  They  went  home 
to  their  widow,  and  I  withdrew  to  my  magnificent  lodgings,  which 
I  was  now  mad  with  myself  for  having  taken,  and  was  fully  deter- 
mined to  give  up  at  the  mouth's  end.  My  bed  of  down  was  now 
converted  into  a  couch  of  thorns ;  Sleep  had  abandoned  his  narcotic 
tenement,  and  sold  the  fee-simple  of  my  repose  to  the  demon  of 
eternal  wakefulness.  The  remainder  of  the  night  was  passed  in 
contriving  not  to  serve  the  state  too  patriotically.  For  that  pur- 
pose I  bethought  me  of  Monteser's  good  counsel.  I  got  up  with 
the  intention  of  making  my  bow  to  Don  Eodrigo  de  Calderona. 
My  present  temper  was  just  pat  to  the  purpose  of  ingratiating  my- 
self with  so  high  and  mighty  a  gentleman,  whose  patronage  was 
indispensable  to  my  existence.  I  therefore  presented  my  person  in 
that  secretary's  antechamber. 

His  apartments  communicated  with  the  duke's,  and  rivalled  them 
in  the  lustre  of  their  decorations.  The  field  ofiicer  could  scarcely 
be  distinguished  from  the  subaltern  by  any  outward  distinction  in 
his  paraphernalia.  I  sent  in  my  name  as  Don  Valerio's  successor  ; 
but  that  did  not  hinder  me  from  being  kept  kicking  my  heels  for  a 
good  hour.  "  Trusty  but  novice  ofiicer  of  the  king,"  said  I,  while 
ruminating  on  court  manners,  "learn  a  lesson  of  patience,  if  so 
please  you.  You  must  begin  with  showing  paces  yourself,  and 
afterwards  make  others  bite  the  bridle." 

At  length  the  door  of  the  inner  room  opened.  I  went  in,  and 
advanced  towards  Don  Rodrigo,  who  had  just  been  writing  an 
amorous  epistle  to  his  charming  Siren,  and  was  giving  it  to  Pedrillo 
at  that  very  moment.  I  had  never  manufactured  my  face  and  air 
into  such  a  counterfeit  of  reverence  before  the  Archbishop  of 
Granada,  nor  on  my  introduction  to  the  Count  de  Galiano,  nor 
even  in  presence  of  the  prime  minister  himself:  the  crisis  of  my 
fawning  was  reserved  for  Signor  de  Calderona.  I  paid  my  respects 
to  him  with  my  body  bent  down  to  the  very  ground,  as  if  crouching 
under  the  ken  of  a  superior  intelligence,  and  solicited  his  protection 
in  strains  of  humble  hypocrisy,  at  which  my  cheek  now  burns  with 
shame,  to  think  that  man  can  so  debase  himself  before  his  fellow- 
man.  My  servility  would  have  recoiled  to  my  own  undoing,  had 
it  been  practiced  towards  a  compound  of  any  manly  and  independ- 
ent ingredients.  As  for  this  fellow,  he  swallowed  flattery  by  the 
lump  without  mastication,  and  assured  me,  just  as  if  he  meant 
what  he  said,  that  he  would  leave  no  stone  unturned  to  do  me 
service. 

Hereupon,  thanking  him  with  unlimited  expressions  of  attach- 
ment for  his  kind  and  generous  sentiments,  I  sold  my  very  soul, 
and  all  my  little  stock  of  conscience,  to  his  free  disposal.    But  as 
28 


4M  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

this  farce  might  be  tiresome  if  prolonged,  I  took  my  leave,  apolo- 
gizing for  having  broken  in  upon  his  more  serious  avocations.  As 
soon  as  I  had  finished  this  abominable  scene,  I  slunk  back  to  my 
desk,  where  I  finished  my  prescribed  task.  The  duke  was  at  my 
elbow  the  next  morning.  The  end  of  my  performance  was  not  less 
to  his  mind  than  the  beginning ;  and  he  praised  it  accordingly : 
"This  is  extremely  well  indeed  1  Copy  this  abridgment  in  your 
best  hand  into  the  register  of  Catalonia.  You  shall  not  want  em- 
ployment of  this  kind."  I  had  a  very  long  conversation  with  his 
excellency,  and  was  delighted  at  his  mild  and  familiar  deportment. 
What  a  contrast  to  Calderona !  They  might  have  sat  to  a  painter 
for  Pan  and  Apollo. 

To-day  I  dined  at  a  cheap  ordinary,  and  sunk  the  secretary  upon 
my  messmates,  till  I  should  ascertain  what  solid  profit  might  accrje 
from  all  my  bows  and  scrapes  I  had  funds  for  three  months,  or 
thereabouts.  That  Interval  I  allowed  myself  for  casting  my  bread 
upon  the  waters.  But  as  the  shortest  speculations  are  the  safest,  if 
my  salary  was  not  paid  by  that  time,  a  long  farewell  to  the  court,  its 
frippery,  and  its  falsehood !  Thus  were  my  plans  arranged.  For 
two  months  I  labored  hard  and  fast  to  stand  well  with  Calderona ; 
but  his  senses  were  so  callous  to  all  my  assiduity,  that  it  seemed 
labor  in  vain  to  build  on  so  hopeless  a  foundation.  This  idea  pro- 
duced a  change  in  my  conduct.  I  left  some  greener  fool  to  fumigate 
the  nostrils  of  this  idol,  and  placed  all  my  own  dependence  on 
making  my  ground  sure  with  the  duke,  by  the  benefit  of  our  frequent 
conferences. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


en,  BLAS  BECOMES  A  FAVOEITE  WITH  THE  DUKE  OF  LEBMA,  AOT)  THE 

CONFIDANT  OF  AN  IMPOETANT  SECBET. 

THOUGH  his  grace's  interviews  with  me  were  short  as  the  fleet- 
ing visions  of  supernatural  communication,  my  turn  and  char- 
acter won  its  way  gradually  into  his  excellency's  good  liking.  One 
day  after  dinner,  he  said,  "  Attend  to  me,  Gil  Bias.  I  really  like  you 
very  much.  You  are  a  zealous,  confidential  lad,  full  of  understand- 
ing and  discretion.  My  trust  cannot  be  misplaced  in  such  hands." 
I  threw  myself  at  his  feet  at  these  words,  and  kissing  his  hand, 
answered  thus :  "  Is  it  possible  that  your  excellency  can  think  so 
favorably  of  your  servant?  What  a  host  of  enemies  will  such  a  pre- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  43* 

ference  conjure  up  against  me !  But  Don  Rodrigo  is  the  only  man 
whose  privy  grudge  is  formidable  enough  to  alarm  me." 

"  You  have  nothing  to  fe^r  from  that  quarter,"  replied  the  duke. 
"I  know  Calderona.  He  has  loved  me  from  his  cradle.  Every 
movement  of  his  heart  is  in  unison  with  mine.  He  cherishes  what- 
ever I  love,  and  hates  in  exact  proportion  to  my  dislike.  So  far 
from  being  alarmed  at  his  ill  will,  you  ought,  on  the  contrary,  to 
hug  yourself  on  his  peculiar  partiality."  This  let  me  at  once  into 
the  abysses  of  Don  Eodrigo's  character.  He  shuffled  and  cut  the 
cards  to  his  own  deal,  and  paid  his  debts  of  honor  out  of  his  excel- 
lency's pool.    One  could  not  be  too  wary  with  this  gentleman. 

"  To  begin,"  piirsued  the  duke,  "  with  a  proof  of  my  thorough  re- 
liance on  your  faith,  I  will  open  to  you  a  long-projected  design.  It 
is  necessary  for  you  to  be  informed  of  it,  to  qualify  you  fof  the  com- 
missions with  which  I  shall  hereafter  have  occasion  to  intrust  you. 
For  a  great  length  of  time  have  I  beheld  my  authority  universally  re- 
spected, my  decisions  implicitly  adopted,  places,  pensions,  govern- 
ments, viceroyalties,  and  church  preferments,  all  awaiting  my  dis- 
posal. Without  umbrage  to  my  royal  master,  I  may  be  said  to  be 
absolute  in  Spain.  My  individual  fortunes  can  be  pushed  no  higher. 
But  I  would  willingly  fix  firm  the  structure  I  have  raised,  for  the 
storms  are  already  beginning  to  beat  about  the  citadel  of  my  peace. 
My  only  safety  must  consist  in  nominating  my  nephew,  the  Count 
de  Lemos,  as  my  successor  in  the  ministry." 

This  profound  courtier,  observing  my  astonishment,  went  on  thus : 
"I  see  plainly,  Santillane,  I  see  plainly  what  surprises  you.  It 
seems  strange  and  unaccountable  that  I  should  prefer  my  nephew  to 
my  own  son,  the  Duke  d'Uzeda.  But  you  are  to  learn  that  this  last 
has  too  narrow  a  genius  to  fill  up  my  place  in  politics ;  and  there 
are  other  reasons  why  I  set  my  face  against  him.  He  has  found  out 
the  secret  of  making  himself  agreeable  to  the  king,  who  wants  him 
for  his  interior  cabinet;  and  back  stairs  influence  is  what  I  cannot 
bear.  Royal  favor  is  a  sort  of  political  mistress ;  exclusive  posses- 
sion is  its  only  charm.  The  very  existence  of  the  passion  is  identi- 
fied with  inextinguishable  jealousy ;  nor  can  we  the  better  endure 
to  share  the  bliss  because  our  rival  has  been  nursed  in  our  own 
bosom. 

"Thus  do  I  lay  bare  the  very  recesses  of  my  soul.  I  have  already 
tried  to  ruin  the  Duke  d'Uzeda  with  the  king ;  but  having  failed, 
am  pointing  my  artillery  towards  another  object.  I  am  determined 
that  the  Count  de  Lemos  shall  stand  first  with  the  Prince  of  Spain. 
Being  gentleman  of  his  bed-chamber,  he  has  opportunities  of  talking 
with  him  continually;  and,  besides  that  he  has  a  winning  manner 
with  him,  I  know  a  sure  method  of  enabling  him  to  succeed  in  his 


436  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

enterprise.  By  this  device  my  nephew  will  be  pitted  against  my 
son.  The  cousins,  harboring  unfavorable  suspicions  of  each  other, 
will  both  be  forced  to  place  themselves  under  my  protection ;  and 
the  necessity  of  the  case  will  render  them  submissive  to  my  will. 
This  is  my  project ;  nor  will  your  assistance  be  of  slender  avail  to 
its  success.  It  is  you  whom  I  shall  make  the  private  channel  of 
communication  between  the  Count  de  Lemos  and  myself." 

After  this  confidence,  which  sounded,  for  all  the  world,  like  the 
clink  of  current  coin,  my  mind  was  easy  about  the  future.  "  At 
length,"  said  I,  "  behold  me  taking  shelter  under  Plutus'  gutter ; 
the  golden  shower  may  drench  me  to  the  skin  before  I  shall  cry, 
Hold,  enough  1  It  is  impossible  that  the  bosom  friend  of  a  man  by 
whom  the  whole  music  of  the  political  machine  is  tempered  should 
be  left  to  thrum  upon  the  discord  of  poverty."  Full  of  these  har- 
monious visions,  my  fifths  and  octaves  wgre  but  little  untuned  by 
the  sensible  declension  of  my  purse. 


CHAPTER  V. 


THE  JOYS,  THE  HONORS,  AND   THE  MISERIES  OF  A  COURT  LIFE,  IN 
THE  PERSON  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

THE  miriister's  growing  partiality  towards  me  was  soon  noticed. 
He  displayed  it  ostentatiously,  by  committing  his  portfolio  to 
my  custody,  which  it  was  his  habit  to  carry  in  his  own  hand  when 
he  went  to  council.  This  novelty  causing  me  to  be  looked  upon  as 
a  rising  favorite,  excited  the  envy  of  certain  persons,  so  that  I  was 
preciously  sprinkled  with  the  hellish  dew  of  court  malevolence.  My 
two  neighbors  the  secretaries  were  not  the  last  to  compliment  me  on 
my  budding  honors,  and  invited  me  to  supper  at  the  A^idow's,  not  so 
much  by  way  of  returning  my  hospitality,  as  with  an  eye  to  business 
in  the  cultivation  of  my  acquaintance.  Parties  were  made  for  me 
everywhere.  Even  the  haughty  Don  Rodrigo  was  cap-in-hand  to 
me.  He  now  called  me  nothing  less  than  Signor  de  Santillane, 
though  the  moon  had  scarcely  changed  her  face  since  he  thee'd  and 
thou'd  me,  without  ever  bethinking  him  that  he  was  talking  to 
something  above  a  pauper.  He  heaped  me  up  and  pressed  me  down 
with  civilities,  especially  within  eyeshot  of  our  common  patron. 
But  the  fool  was  wiser  than  to  be  caught  with  chaff.  The  good- 
breeding  of  my  returns  was  nicely  proportioned  to  my  thorough 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  437 

detestation  of  my  humble  servant ;  a  rascal  who  had  lived  in  court 
all  his  life  could  not  have  played  the  rascal  better  than  I  did. 

I  likewise  accompanied  my  lord  duke  when  he  had  an  audience 
of  the  king,  which  was  usually  three  times  a  day.  In  the  morning 
he  went  into  his  majesty's  chamber  as  soon  as  he  was  awake.  There 
he  dropped  down  on  his  marrow-bones  by  the  bedside,  talked  over 
what  was  to  be  done  in  the  course  of  the  day,  and  put  into  the  royal 
mouth  the  speeches  the  royal  tongue  was  to  make.  He  then  with- 
drew. After  dinner  he  came  back  again,  not  for  state  affairs,  but 
for  what,  what?  and  a  little  gossip.  He  was  well  instructed  in  all 
the  tittle-tattle  of  Madrid,  which  was  sold  to  him  at  the  earliest  of 
the  season.  Lastly,  in  the  evening  he  saw  the  king  again  for  the 
third  time,  put  whatever  color  he  pleased  on  the  transactions  of  the 
day,  and,  as  a  matter  of  course,  requested  his  iristructions  for  the 
morrow.  While  he  was  with  the  king,  I  kept  in  the  antechamber, 
where  people  of  the  first  quality,  sinking  that  they  might  rise,  threw 
themselves  in  the  way  of  my  observation,  and  thought  the  day  not 
lost  if  I  had  deigned  to  exchange  a  few  words  of  common  civility 
with  them.  Was  it  to  be  wondered  at  if  my  self-importance  fattened 
upon  such  food  ?  There  are  many  folks  at  court  who  stalk  about  on 
stilts  of  much  frailer  materials. 

One  day  my  vanity  was  still  more  highly  pamp^ered.  The  king, 
to  whom  the  duke  had  puffed  off  my  style,  was  curious  to  see  a  sam- 
ple of  it.  His  excellency  made  me  bring  the  register  of  Catalonia 
and  myself  into  the  royal  presence,  telling  me  to  read  the  first 
memorial  I  had  digested.  If  so  catholic  a  critic  overpowered  my 
modesty  at  first,  the  minister's  encouragement  recalled  my  scattered 
spirits,  and  I  read  with  good  tone  and  emphasis  what  his  majesty 
deigned  to  hear  with  some  symptoms  of  approbation.  He  spoke 
handsomely  of  my  performance,  and  recommended  my  fortunes  to 
the  especial  care  of  his  minister.  My  humility  was  not  the  greater 
for  the  augmentation  of  my  consequence,  and  a  particular  conversa- 
tion some  days  afterwards  with  the  Count  de  Lemos  swelled  high 
the  springtide  of  all  my  ambitious  anticipations. 

I  waited  on  that  nobleman  from  his  uncle  at  the  Prince  of  Spain's 
court,  and  presented  credentials  from  the  duke,  directing  him  to 
deal  unreservedly  with  me,  as  with  a  man  who  was  embarked  in 
their  design,  and  selected  by  himself  exclusively  as  their  go- 
between.  The  count  then  took  me  to  a  room,  where  he  locked  the 
door,  and  then  spoke  as  follows  :— "  Since  you  are  confidential  with 
the  Duke  of  Lerma,  I  doubt  not  you  deserve  to  be  so,  and  shall  un- 
bosom myself  to  you  without  hesitation.  You  are  to  know  that 
matters  go  on  just  as  we  could  wish.  The  Prince  of  Spain  distin- 
guishes me  above  the  most  assiduous  of  his  courtiers.    I  had  a  pri- 


438  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

vate  conversation  with  him  this  morning,  wherein  he  expressed 
some  disgust  at  being  restrained  by  the  king's  avarice  from  follow- 
ing the  inclinations  of  his  liberal  heart,  and  living  on  a  scale  befit- 
ting his  august  rank.  On  this  head  I  chimed  in  with  his  regrets, 
and,  taking  advantage  of  the  opportunity,  promised  to  carry  him  a 
thousand  pistoles  early  to-morrow  morning,  as  an  earnest  of  larger 
sums  with  which  I  have  engaged  to  feed  his  necessities  forthwith. 
He  was  in  ecstasy  at  my  promises,  and  I  am  certain  of  securing  hi« 
grace  and  favor  in  tail,  if  I  can  but  fulfill  my  engagement.  Acquaint 
my  uncle  with  these  particulars,  and  come  back  in  the  evening  with 
hie  sentiments  on  the  subject." 

I  left  the  Count  de  Lemos  with  the  last  words  still  quivering  on 
his  lips,  and  went  back  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  who,  on  my  report, 
sent  to  ask  Calderona  for  a  thousand  pistoles,  which  he  charged  me 
to  carry  to  the  count  in  the  evening.  Away  went  I  on  my  errand, 
muttering  to  myself,  "  So,  so,  now  I  have  discovered  the  minister's 
infallible  receipt  for  the  cure  of  all  evils.  Faith  and  troth,  he  is  in 
the  right,  and  to  all  appearance  he  may  draw  as  copiously  as  he 
pleases  from  the  spring,  without  exhausting  the  source.  I  can  easily 
guess  what  bag  these  pistoles  come  from  ;  but,  after  all,  is  it  not  the 
order  of  nature  that  the  parent  should  nurture  and  maintain  the 
child  ?"  The  Count  de  Lemos,  at  our  parting,  said  to  me,  in  a  low 
voice,  "  Farewell,  my  good  and  worthy  friend.  The  Prince  of  Spain 
has  a  little  hankering  after  the  women ;  we  must  have  a  little  con- 
versation on  that  subject  one  of  these  days ;  I  foresee  that  your 
agency  will  be  very  applicable  on  that  head."  I  returned  with  my 
head  full  of  this  last  hint,  which  it  was  impossible  to  misinterpret. 
Neither  did  I  wish  to  do  so,  for  it  suited  my  talents  to  a  nicety. 
"  What  the  devil  is  to  happen  next?"  said  I.  "Behold  me  on  the 
point  of  becoming  pimp  to  the  heir  of  the  monarchy."  Whether 
pimping  was  a  virtue  or  a  vice,  I  did  not  stop  to  inquire ;  the 
coarse  surtout  of  morality  would  have  worn  but  shabbily  while  the 
passions  of  so  exalted  a  gallant  were  in  the  glare  and  glow  of  all 
their  newest  gloss.  What  a  promotion  for  me,  to  be  the  provider  of 
pleasure  to  a  great  prince  I  "  Fair  and  softly,  Master  Gil  Bias," 
some  one  may  say ;  "  after  all,  you  will  be  but  second  minister." 
May  be  so ;  but  at  the  bottom  the  honor  of  both  these  posts  is 
equal ;  the  difference  lies  in  the  profit  only. 

While  executing  these  honorable  commissions,  and  getting  for- 
ward daily  in  the  good  graces  of  the  prime  minister,  what  a  happy 
being  should  I  have  been,  if  statesmen  were  born  with  a  set  of  in- 
testines to  turn  the  chameleon's  diet  into  chyle  !  It  was  more  than 
two  months  since  I  had  got  rid  of  my  grand  lodging,  and  had  taken 
up  my  quarters  in  a  little  room  scarcely  good  enough  for  a  banker's 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  489 

clerk.  Though  this  was  not  quite  as  it  should  be,  yet  since  I  went 
out  betimes  in  the  morning,  and  never  returned  at  night  before  bed- 
time, there  was  not  much  to  quarrel  about  on  that  score.  All  day  I 
was  the  hero  of  my  own  stage,  or  rather  of  the  duke's.  It  was  a  prin- 
cipal part  that  I  was  playing.  But  when  I  retired  from  this  brilliant 
theatre  to  my  own  cockloft,  the  great  lord  vanished,  and  poor  Gil 
Bias  was  left  behind,  without  a  royal  image  in  his  pocket,  and,  what 
was  worse,  without  the  means  of  conjuring  up  his  glorious  resem- 
blance. Besides  that  it  would  have  wounded  my  pride  to  have 
divulged  my  necessities,  there  was  not  a  creature  of  my  acquaint- 
ance who  could  have  assisted  me  but  Navarro ;  and  him  I  had  too 
palpably  neglected,  since  my  introduction  at  court,  to  venture  on 
soliciting  his  benevolence.  I  had  been  obliged  to  sell  my  wardrobe 
article  by  article.  There  was  nothing  more  left  than  was  absolutely 
necessary  to  make  a  decent  appearance.  I  no  longer  went  to  the 
ordinary,  because  I  had  no  longer  wherewithal  to  pay  my  score. 
How,  then,  did  I  make  shift  to  keep  body  and  soul  together  ?  There 
was  every  morning,  in  our  offices,  a  scanty  breakfast  set  out,  con- 
sisting of  a  little  bread  and  wine ;  this  was  the  whole  of  our  com- 
mons on  the  minister's  establishment.  I  never  knew  what  it  was  to 
exceed  this  stint  during  the  day,  and  at  night  I  most  frequently  went 
supperless  to  bed. 

Such  was  the  fare  of  a  man  who  made  a  splendid  figure  at  court ; 
but  his  illustrious  fortunes,  like  those  of  other  courtiers,  were  more 
a  subject  of  pity  than  of  grudge.  I  could  no  longer  resist  the  pres- 
sure of  my  circumstances,  and  ultimately  resolved  on  their  disclosure 
at  a  seasonable  opportunity.  By  good  luck  such  an  occasion  offered 
at  the  Escurial,  whither  the  king  and  the  Prince  of  Spain  re- 
moved some  days  afterwards. 


CHAPTEE  VI. 


GIL    BLAS    GIVES   THE    DUKE    OF    LERMA  A    HINT    OF    HIS    CONDITION. 
THAT  MINISTER  DEALS  WITH  HIM  ACCORDINGLY. 

WHEN  the  king  kept  his  court  at  the  Escurial,  all  the  world 
was  at  free  quarters :  under  such  easy  circumstances  I  did 
not  feel  where  the  saddle  galled.  My  bed  was  in  a  wardrobe  near 
the  duke's  chamber.  One  morning  that  minister,  having  got  up, 
according  to  his  cursed  custom,  at  daybreak,  made  me  take  my 


440  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

writing  apparatus  and  follow  him  into  the  palace  gardens.  We 
went  and  sat  down  under  an  avenue  of  trees ;  myself,  as  he  would 
have  it,  in  the  posture  of  a  man  writing  on  the  crown  of  his  hat;  his 
attitude  was  with  a  paper  in  his  hand,  and  any  one  would  have 
supposed  he  hah  heen  reading.  At  some  distance,  we  must  have 
looked  as  if  the  scale  of  Europe  was  to  turn  upon  our  decision ; 
but  between  ourselves,  who  partook  of  it,  the  talk  was  miserably 
trifling. 

For  more  than  an  hour  had  I  been  tickling  his  excellency's  fancy 
with  all  the  conceits  engendered  by  a  merry  nature  and  an  eccentric 
course  of  life,  when  two  magpies  perched  on  the  trees  above  us. 
Their  clack  and  clatter  was  so  obstreperous  as  to  force  our  atten- 
tion, whether  we  would  or  no.  "  These  birds,"  said  the  duke,  "  seem 
to  be  in  dudgeon  with  one  another.  I  should  like  to  learn  the  cause 
of  their  quarrel."  "  My  lord,"  said  I,  "  your  curiosity  reminds  me 
of  an  Indian  story  in  Pilpay,  or  some  other  fabulist."  The  min- 
ister insisted  on  the  particulars,  and  I  related  them  in  the  following 
terms : — 

There  reigned  in  Persia  a  good  monarch,  who,  not  being  blessed 
with  capacities  of  sufficient  compass  to  govern  his  dominions  in  his 
own  person,  left  the  care  of  them  to  his  grand  vizier.  That  minister, 
whose  name  was  Atalmuc,  was  possessed  of  first-rate  talents.  He 
supported  the  weight  of  that  unwieldy  monarchy  without  sinking 
under  the  burden.  He  preserved  it  in  profound  peace.  His  art 
consisted  in  uniting  the  love  of  the  royal  authority  with  the  rever- 
ence of  it ;  while  the  people  at  large  looked  up  to  the  vizier  as  to  an 
affectionate  father,  though  a  devoted  servant  of  his  prince.  Atalmuc 
had  a  young  Cachemirian  among  his  secretaries,  by  name  Zeangir, 
to  whom  he  was  particularly  attached.  He  took  pleasure  in  his  con- 
versation, invited  him  frequently  to  the  chase,  and  opened  to  him 
his  most  secret  thoughts.  One  day.  as  they  were  hunting  together 
in  a  wood,  the  vizier,  at  the  croaking  of  two  ravens  on  a  tree,  said  to 
his  secretary,  "  I  should  like  to  know  what  those  birds  are  talking 
about  in  their  jargon."  "  My  lord,"  answered  the  Cachemirian, 
"  your  wishes  may  be  fulfilled."  "  Indeed !  How  so?"  replied  Atal- 
muc. "  Because,"  rejoined  Zeangir,  "  a  dervis,  read  in  many  mys- 
teries, has  taught  me  the  language  of  birds.  If  you  wish  it,  I  will 
lay  my  ear  close  to  these,  and  will  repeat  to  you,  word  for  word, 
whatever  they  may  happen  to  say." 

The  vizier  agreed  to  the  proposal.  The  Cachemirian  got  near  the 
ravens,  and  affected  to  suck  in  their  discourse.  Then,  returning  to 
his  master,  "My  lord,"  said  he,  "would  you  believe  it?  We  are 
ourselves  the  topic  of  their  talk."  "  Impossible !"  exclaimed  the 
Persian  minister.     "  Prithee  now,  what  do  they  say  of  us  ?"     "  On© 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  441 

of  the  two,"  replied  the  secretary,  "  spoke  thus :  '  Here  he  is,  the 
very  man ;  the  grand  vizier,  Atalmuc,  tlie  guardian  eagle  of  Persia, 
hovering  over  her  like  the  parent  bird  over  its  nest,  watching  with- 
out intermission  for  the  safety  of  its  brood.  For  the  purpose  of 
unbending  from  his  wearisome  toils,  he  is  hunting  in  this  wood  with 
his  faithful  Zeangir.  How  happy  must  that  secretary  be  to  serve 
so  partial  and  indulgent  a  master  I'  *  Fair  and  softly,'  observed  the 
other  raven  shrewdly,  '  fair  and  softly  I  Make  not  too  much  parade 
about  that  Cachemirian's  happiness.  Atalmuc,  it  is  true,  talks  and 
jokes  familiarly  with  him,  honors  him  with  his  confidence,  and  may 
very  possibly  intend  to  signalize  his  friendship  by  a  lucrative  post; 
but  between  the  cup  and  the  lip  Zeangir  may  perish  with  thirst. 
The  poor  devil  lodges  in  a  ready-furnished  apartment,  where  there 
is  not  an  article  of  furniture  for  his  use.  In  a  word,  he  leads  a 
starving  life,  with  all  the  paraphernalia  of  a  plump-fed  courtier. 
The  grand  vizier  never  troubles  his  head  about  inquiring  into  the 
right  or  wrong  of  his  affairs,  but,  satisfied  with  empty  good  wishes 
towards  him,  leaves  his  favorite  within  the  ruthless  gripe  of  pov- 
erty.' " 

I  stopped  here  to  see  how  the  Duke  of  Lerma  would  take  it ;  and 
he  asked  mg,  with  a  smile,  what  effect  the  fable  had  produced  on 
the  mind  of  Atalmuc,  and  whether  the  grand  vizier  had  not  felt  a 
little  offended  at  his  secretary's  presumption.  "  No,  my  noble  lord," 
answered  I,  with  some  little  embarrassment  at  the  question ;  "  his- 
torians say  that  his  ingenuity  was  amply  rewarded."  "He  was  more 
lucky  than  discreet,"  replied  the  duke,  with  a  serious  air ;  "  there 
are  some  ministers  who  would  esteem  it  no  joke  to  be  lectured  at 
that  rate.  But  the  king  will  not  be  long  before  he  is  getting  up ; 
my  duty  demands  my  attendance."  After  this  hint  he  walked  off 
with  hasty  strides  towards  the  palace,  without  throwing  away  a 
word  more  upon  me,  and  to  all  appearance  in  high  dudgeon  at  my 
Indian  parable. 

I  followed  hira  up  to  the  very  door  of  his  majesty's  chamber,  and 
went  thence  to  arrange  my  papers  in  the  places  whence  they  had 
been  taken.  Then  I  entered  a  closet  where  our  two  copying  secre- 
taries were  at  work ;  for  they  also  were  of  the  migratory  party. 
"  What  is  the  matter  with  you,  Signor  de  Santillane  ?"  said  they  at 
the  sight  of  me.  "  You  are  quite  down  in  the  mouth  !  Has  any- 
thing untoward  happened  ?" 

I  was  too  much  mortified  at  the  ill  success  of  my  narrative  to  be 
cautious  in  the  expression  of  my  grief.  On  the  recital  of  what  had 
passed  with  the  duke,  they  sympathized  in  my  disappointment. 
"  You  have  some  reason-  to  fret,"  said  one  of  them.  "  Heaven  grant 
that  you  may  be  better  treated  than  a  secretary  of  Cardinal  Spinosa. 


442  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

The  unlucky  secretary,  tired  of  working  for  fifteen  months  without 
pay,  took  the  liberty  of  representing  his  necessities  to  his  eminence 
one  afternoon,  and  of  asking  for  a  little  money  towards  his  subsist- 
ence. '  It  is  very  proper,'  said  the  minister,  *  that  you  should  be 
paid.  Here,'  pursued  he,  putting  into  his  hands  an  order  on  the 
royal  treasury  for  a  thousand  ducats ;  '  go  and  receive  that  sum ; 
but  take  notice  at  the  same  time  that  it  balances  accounts  between 
us.'  The  secretary  would  have  pocketed  his  thousand  ducats  with- 
out remorse  had  the  thousand  ducats  been  tangible,  and  the  liberty 
of  changing  service  secure  ;  but  just  as  he  stepped  down  from  the 
cardinal's  threshold,  he  was  tapped  on  the  shoulder  by  an  alguazil, 
and  carried  away  to  the  tower  of  Segovia,  where  he  has  been  a  pris- 
oner for  a  length  of  time." 

This  little  historical  anecdote  set  my  teeth  chattering.  All  was 
lost  and  gone  I  There  was  no  comfort  from  within  nor  from  with- 
out !  My  own  impatience  had  been  my  ruin !  just  as  if  I  had  not 
borne  starving  till  patience  could  avail  no  longer.  "Alas !"  said  I, 
"wherefore  must  I  have  blurted  out  that  ill-starred  fable,  which 
went  so  much  against  the  grain  of  the  minister  ?  He  might  have 
been  just  on  the  point  of  extricating  me  from  all  my  miseries ;  it 
might  have  been  the  moment  of  that  tide  in  the  afiairs  of  men  which 
sets  in  for  sudden  and  enormous  elevation.  What  wealth,  what 
honors  have  slipped  through  the  fingers  by  my  blunder  I  I  ought 
to  have  been  aware  that  great  folks  do  not  love  to  be  forestalled, 
but  require  the  common  privileges  of  elementary  subsistence  to  be 
received  as  favors  at  their  hands.  It  would  have  been  more  prudent 
to  have  kept  my  lenten  entertainment  longer  without  bothering  the 
duke  about  it,  and  even  to  have  died  with  hunger,  that  he  might  be 
blamed  for  letting  me." 

Supposing  any  hope  to  have  remained,  my  master,  when  I  saw 
him  after  dinner,  put  an  extinguisher  over  it  at  once.  He  was  very 
serious  with  me,  contrary  to  his  usual  custom,  and  spoke  scarcely  at 
all — an  omen  of  dire  dismay  for  the  remainder  of  the  evening.  The 
night  did  not  pass  more  tranquilly ;  the  chagrin  of  seeing  my 
agreeable  illusions  vanish,  and  the  fear  of  swelling  the  calendar  of 
state  prisoners,  left  no  room  but  for  sighs  and  lamentations. 

The  following  was  the  critical  day.  The  duke  sent  for  me  in  the 
morning.  I  went  into  his  chamber,  with  the  ague  fit  of  a  criminal 
before  his  judge.  "  Santillane,"  said  he,  showing  me  a  paper  in  his 
hand,  "  take  this  order."  ...  I  shuddered  at  the  word  order,  and 
said  within  myself,  "  O  heaven  I  here  is  the  Cardinal  Spinosa  over 
again;  the  carriage  is  ordered  out  for  Segovia."  Such  was  my 
alarm  at  this  moment,  that  I  interrupted  the  minister,  and  throwing 
myself  at  his  feet,  "  May  it  please  yoiu  lordship,"  said  I,  bathed  in 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  '  443 

tears,  "  I  most  humbly  beseech  your  excellency  to  forgive  me  for  my 
boldness;  necessity  alone  impelled  me  to  acquaint  you  with  my 
wretched  circumstances." 

The  duke  could  not  help  laughing  at  my  distress.  "  Be  comforted, 
Gil  Bias,"  answered  he,  "  and  hearken  attentively.  Though  by  be- 
traying your  necessities  a  reproach  lights  upon  me  for  not  having 
prevented  them,  I  do  not  take  it  ill,  my  friend.  I  rather  ought  to 
be  angry  with  myself  for  not  having  inquired  how  you  were  going 
on.  But  to  begin  making  amends  for  my  want  of  attention,  there 
is  an  order  on  the  royal  treasury  for  fifteen  hundred  ducats,  payable 
at  sight.  This  is  not  all ;  I  promise  you  the  same  sum  annually ; 
and  moreover,  when  people  of  rank  and  substance  shall  solicit 
your  interest,  I  have  no  objection  to  your  addressing  me  on  their 
behalf." 

In  the  excess  of  joy  occasioned  by  such  tidings,  I  kissed  the  feet 
of  the  minister,  who,  having  commanded  me  to  rise,  continued  in 
familiar  conversation.  I  endeavored  to  rally  my  free  and  easy 
humor ;  but  the  transition  from  sorrow  to  rapture  was  too  instanta- 
neous to  be  natural.  I  felt  as  comical  as  a  culprit,  with  a  pardon 
singing  in  his  ears,  just  when  he  was  on  the  point  of  being  launched 
into  eternity.  My  master  attributed  all  my  flurry  to  the  sole  dread 
of  having  offended  him  ;  though  the  fear  of  perpetual  imprisonment 
had  its  share  of  influence  on  my  nerves.  He  owned  that  he  had 
affected  to  look  cool,  to  see  whether  I  should  be  hurt  at  the  altera- 
tion ;  that  thereby  he  formed  his  opinion  with  respect  to  the  liveli- 
ness of  my  attachment  to  his  person,  and  that  his  own  regard  for 
me  would  always  be  proportionate. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


A  GOOD  XTSE  MADE  OF  THE  FIFTEEN   HUNDRED  DUCATS.     FIRST  INTRO- 
DUCTION TO  THE  TRADE  OF  OFFICE. 

THE  king,  as  if  on  purpose  to  play  into  the  hands  of  my  impa- 
tience, returned  to  Madrid  the  very  next  day.  I  flew  like  a 
harpy  to  the  royal  treasury,  where  they  paid  me  down  upon  the 
nail  the  sum  drawn  for  in  my  order.  Ambition  and  vanity  now 
obtained  complete  empire  over  my  soul.  My  paltry  lodging  was 
fit  only  for  secretaries  of  an  inferior  cast,  unpracticed  in  the  myste- 
rious language  of  birds ;  for  which  reason,  my  grand  suite  of  apart- 


444  •  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

ments  fortunately  being  vacant,  I  engaged  them  for  the  second 
time.  My  next  business  was  to  send  for  an  eminent  tailor,  who 
arrayed  the  pretty  persons  of  all  the  fine  gentlemen  in  town.  He 
took  my  measure,  and  then  introduced  me  to  a  draper,  who  sold  me 
five  ells  of  cloth,  the  exact  quantity,  as  he  said,  to  make  a  suit  for 
a  man  of  my  size.  Five  ells  for  a  light  Spanish  dress !  Whither 
did  this  draper  and  tailor  expect  to  go  ?  .  .  .  But  we  must  not  be 
uncharitable.  Tailors  who  have  a  reputation  to  support  require 
more  materials  for  the  exercise  of  their  genius  than  the  vulgar 
snippers  of  the  shopboard.  I  then  bought  some  linen,  of  which  I 
was  very  bare,  an  assortment  of  silk  stockings,  and  a  laced  hat. 

With  such  an  equipage,  there  was  no  doing  without  a  footman ; 
so  that  I  desired  Vincent  Ferrero,  my  landlord,  to  look  out  for  one. 
Most  of  the  foreigners  who  were  recommended  to  his  lodgings,  on 
their  arrival  at  Madrid,  were  wont  to  hire  Spanish  servanst ;  and 
this  was  the  means  of  turning  his  house  into  a  register  office.  The 
first  who  offered  was  a  lad  of  so  mortified  and  devotional  an  aspect 
that  I  would  have  nothing  to  say  to  him ;  he  put  me  in  mind  of 
Ambrose  de  Lamela.  "  I  am  quite  out  of  conceit,"  said  I  to  Fer- 
rero, "  with  these  pious  coat-brushers ;  I  have  been  taken  in  by 
them  already." 

I  had  scarcely  turned  virtue  in  a  livery  out  of  doors,  when  another 
came  up  stairs.  This  seemed  to  be  a  good  sprightly  fellow,  with  as 
little  mock  modesty  as  if  he  had  been  bred  at  court,  and  a  certain 
something  about  him  which  indicated  that  he  did  not  carry,  prin- 
ciple to  any  dangerous  excess.  He  was  just  to  my  mind.  His 
answers  to  my  questions  were  pat  and  to  the  purpose :  he  evinced  a 
talent  for  intrigue  beyond  my  most  sanguine  hopes.  This  was  ex- 
actly the  subject  for  my  purpose ;  so  I  fixed  him  at  once.  Neither 
had  I  any  reason  to  repent  of  my  bargain  ;  for  it  was  very  soon  evi- 
dent that  farther  off  I  must  have  fared  worse.  As  the  duke  had 
allowed  me  to  solicit  on  behalf  of  my  friends,  and  it  was  my  design 
to  push  that  permission  to  the  utmost,  a  stanch  hound-  was  neces- 
sary to  put  up  the  game ;  or,  in  phrase  familiar  to  dull  capacities, 
an  active  chap,  with  a  turn  for  routing  out  and  bringing  to  my 
market  all  palm-tickling  petitioners  for  the  loaves  and  fishes  of  the 
prime  minister.  This  was  just  where  Scipio  shone  most  (for  my 
servant's  name  was  Scipio).  He  had  lived  last  with  Donna  Anna 
de  Guevara,  the  Prince  of  Spain's  nurse,  where  he  had  ample  scope 
for  the  exercise  of  that  accomplishment. 

As  soon  as  he  became  acquainted  with  my  credit  at  court,  and  the 
use  to  which  I  meant  to  put  it,  he  took  the  field  like  his  great  ances- 
tors, and  began  the  campaign  without  the  loss  of  a  day.  "  Master," 
said  he,  "a  young  gentleman  of  Granada  is  just  come  to  Madrid; 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  445 

his  name  is  Don  Roger  de  Rada.  He  has  been  engaged  in  an  affair 
of  honor  which  compels  him  to  throw  himself  on  the  Duke  of 
Lerma's  protection,  and  he  is  well  disposed  to  come  down  hand- 
somely for  any  grace  and  favor  he  may  obtain.  I  have  talked  with 
him  on  the  subject.  He  had  a  mind  to  have  made  friends  with  Don 
Rodrigo  de  Calderona,  whose  influence  had  been  represented  to  him 
in  magnificent  terms ;  but  I  dissuaded  him,  by  pointing  out  that 
secretary's  method  of  selling  his  good  ofiices  for  more  than  their 
weight  in  gold ;  whereas,  on  the  contrary,  you  would  be  satisfied 
with  any  decent  expression  of  gratitude  for  yours,  and  would  even 
do  the  business  for  the  mere  pleasure  of  doing  it,  if  you  were  in 
circumstances  to  follow  the  bent  of  your  own  generous  and  disin- 
terested temper.  In  short,  I  talked  to  him  in  such  a  strain,  that 
you  will  see  the  gentleman  early  to-morrow  morning."  "  How  is 
all  this.  Master  Scipio?"  said  I.  "You  must  have  transacted  a 
great  deal  of  business  in  a  short  time.  You  are  no  novice  in  back- 
stairs influence.  It  is  very  strange  that  you  have  not  feathered 
your  own  nest."  "  That  ought  not  to  surprise  you  at  all,"  answered 
he.     "  I  love  to  make  money  circulate,  not  to  hoard  it  up." 

Don  Roger  de  Rada  came  according  to  his  appointment.  I  re- 
ceived him  with  a  mixture  of  courtly  plausibility  and  ministerial 
pride.  "  My  worthy  sir,"  said  I,  "  before  I  engage  in  your  interests, 
I  wish  to  know  the  nature  of  the  affair  which  brings  you  to  court ; 
because  it  may  be  such  as  to  preclude  me  from  speaking  to  the  min- 
ister in  your  favor.  Give  me,  therefore,  if  you  please,  the  particulars 
faithfully,  and  rest  assured  that  I  shall  enter  warmly  into  your  in- 
terest, if  they  are  proper  to  be  espoused  by  a  man  who  moves  in  my 
sphere."  My  young  client  promised  to  be  sincere  in  his  representa- 
tion, and  began  his  narrative  in  the  following  words. 


CHAPTER  VIIL 

HISTORY  OF  DON  EOGEK  DE  EADA. 

"  ~r^ON  Anastasio  de  Rada,  a  gentleman  of  Granada,  was 
1  J  living  happily  in  the  town  of  Antequera,  with  Donna  Este- 
phania  his  wife,  who  united  every  charm  of  person  and  mind  with 
the  most  unquestionable  virtue.  If  her  affection  was  lively  towards 
her  husband,  his  love  for  her  was  violent  beyond  all  bounds.  He 
was  naturally  prone  to  jealousy ;  and  though  wantonness  could 


446  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

never  assume  such  a  semblance  as  his  wife's,  his  thoughts  were  not 
quite  at  rest  upon  the  subject.  He  was  apprehensive  lest  some 
secret  enemy  to  his  repose  might  make  some  attempt  upon  his 
honor.  His  eye  was  turned  askance  upon  all  his  friends,  except 
Don  Huberto  de  Hordales,  who  frequented  the  house  without  suspi- 
cion in  quality  of  Estephania's  cousin,  and  was  the  only  man  in 
whom  he  ought  not  to  have  confided. 

"  Don  Huberto  did  actually  fall  in  love  with  his  cousin,  and  ven- 
tured to  make  his  sentiments  known,  in  contempt  of  consanguinity 
and  the  ties  of  friendship.  The  lady,  who  was  considerate,  instead 
of  making  an  outcry  which  might  have  led  to  fatal  consequences, 
reproved  her  kinsman  gently,  represented  to  him  the  extreme  crim- 
inality of  attempting  to  seduce  her  and  dishonor  her  husband,  and 
told  him  very  seriously  that  he  must  not  flatter  himself  with  the 
most  distant  hope. 

"  This  moderation  only  inflamed  the  seducer's  appetite  the  more. 
Taking  it  for  granted  that,  as  a  woman  who  had  been  accustomed 
to  save  appearances,  she  only  wanted  to  be  more  strongly  urged,  he 
began  to  adopt  little  freedoms  of  more  warmth  than  delicacy,  and  had 
the  assurance  one  day  to  put  the  question  home  to  her.  She  re- 
pulsed him  with  unbridled  indignation,  and  threatened  to  refer  the 
punishment  of  his  offence  to  Don  Anastasio.  Her  suitor,  alarmed 
at  such  an  intimation,  promised  to  drop  the  subject;  and  Este- 
phania,  in  the  candor  of  her  soul,  forgave  him  for  the  past. 

"  Don  Huberto,  a  man  totally  devoid  of  principle,  could  not  feel 
his  passion  to  be  foiled  without  entertaining  a  mean  spirit  of  re- 
venge. He  knew  the  weak  side  of  Don  Aiiastasio's  temper.  This 
was  enough  to  engender  the  blackest  design  that  ever  scoundrel 
plotted.  One  evening,  as  he  was  walking  alone  with  this  misguided 
husband,  he  said,  with  an  air  of  extreme  uneasiness,  'My  dear 
friend,  I  can  no  longer  live  without  unburdening  my  mind ;  and  yet 
I  would  be  forever  silent  but  that  you  value  honor  far  above  a 
treacherous  repose.  Your  acute  feelings  and  my  own,  on  points 
which  concern  domestic  injuries,  forbid  me  to  conceal  what  is  pass- 
ing in  your  family.  Prepare  to  hear  what  will  occasion  you  as 
much  grief  as  astonishment.  I  am  going  to  wound  you  in  the  ten- 
derest  part.' 

"  '  1  know  what  you  mean,'  interrupted  Don  Anastasio,  in  the 
first  burst  of  agony;  'your  cousin  is  unfaithful.'  'I  no  longer 
acknowledge  her  for  my  cousin,'  replied  Hordales,  with  impassioned 
vehemence ;  '  I  disown  her,  as  unworthy  to  share  my  friend's  em- 
braces.' '  This  is  keeping  me  too  long  upon  the  rack,'  exclaimed 
Don  Anastasio:  'say  on;  what  has  Estephania  done?'  'She  has 
betrayed  you,'  replied  Don  Huberto.    '  You  have  a  rival  to  whom 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  4*7 

she  listens  in  private,  but  I  cannot  give  you  his  name,  for  the  adul- 
terer, under  favor  of  impenetrable  darkness,  has  escaped  the  ken  of 
those  who  watched  him.  All  I  know  is  that  you  are  duped :  of  that 
fact  I  am  well  assured.  My  own  share  in  the  disgrace  is  a  sufficient 
pledge  of  my  veracity.  Her  infidelity  must  be  palpable  indeed 
when  I  turn  Estephania's  accuser. 

"  '  It  is  to  no  purpose,'  continued  he,  watching  the  successful  im- 
pression of  his  discourse, — *  it  is  to  no  purpose  to  discuss  the  subject 
further.  I  perceive  your  indignation  at  the  treacherous  requital  of 
your  love,  and  your  thoughts  all  aiming  at  a  just  revenge.  Take 
your  own  course.  Heed  not  in  what  relation  to  you  your  victim 
may  stand,  but  convince  the  whole  city  that  there  is  no  earthly 
being  whom  you  would  not  sacrifice  to  your  honor.' 

"  Thus  did  the  traitor  exasperate  a  too  credulous  husband  against 
an  innocent  wife,  depicting  in  such  glowing  colors  the  infamy  in 
which  he  would  be  plunged,  if  he  left  the  insult  unpunished,  as  to 
heighten  his  anger  into  madness.  Behold  Don  Anastasio  with  his 
mind  completely  overturned,  as  if  goaded  by  the  Furies.  He  re- 
turned homewards  with  the  frantic  design  of  murdering  his  ill-fated 
wife.  She  was  just  going  to  bed  when  he  came  in.  He  kept  his 
passion  under  for  a  time,  and  waited  till  the  attendants  had  with- 
drawn. Then,  unrestrained  by  the  fear  of  vengeance  from  above, 
by  the  vulgar  scorn  which  must  recoil  upon  an  honorable  family, 
by  natural  aflfection  for  his  unborn  child, — since  his  wife  was  near 
her  time, — he  approached  his  victim,  and  said  to  her,  in  a  furious 
tone  of  voice,  'Now  is  your  hour  to  die,  wretch  as  you  are!  One 
moment  only  is  your  own,  which  my  relenting  pity  leaves  you  to 
make  your  peace  with  Heaven.  I  would  not  that  your  soul  should 
perish  eternally,  though  your  earthly  honor  is  forever  lost.*^ 

**  At  these  words  he  drew  his  dagger.  Estephania,  almost  speech- 
less with  terror,  throwing  herself  at  his  feet,  besought  him,  with 
uplifted  hands  and  inarticulate  agony,  to  tell  her  why  he  raised  his 
arm  against  her  life.  If  he  suspected  her  fidelity,  she  called  Heaven 
to  attest  her  innocence. 

"*In  vain,  in  vain,'  replied  the  infuriated  murderer;  'your 
treason  is  but  too  well  proved.  My  information  is  not  to  be  con- 
tradicted. Don  Huberto'  .  .  .  'Ah!  my  lord,'  interrupted  she 
with  eager  haste,  'you  must  hold  your  trust  aloof  from  Don 
Huberto.  He  is  less  your  friend  than  you  imagine.  If  he  has  said 
aught  against  my  virtue,  believe  him  not.'  *  Restrain  that  infamous 
tongue,'  replied  Don  Anastasio.  '  By  appealing  against  Hordales, 
you  condemn  yourself.  You  would  ruin  your  relation  in  my  esteem, 
because  he  is  acquainted  with  your  misconduct.  You  would  invali- 
date his  evidence  against  you ;  but  the  artifice  is  palpable,  and  only 


448  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLA8. 

whets  my  appetite  for  vengeance.'  '  My  dear  husband,'  rejoined  the 
innocent  Estephania,  while  her  tears  flowed  in  torrents,  '  beware  of 
this  blind  rage.  If  you  follow  its  instigation,  you  will  perpetrate  a 
deed  for  which  you  will  hate  yourself,  when  convinced  of  its  in- 
justice. In  the  name  of  Heaven,  compose  your  disordered  spirits. 
At  least  give  me  time  to  clear  up  your  suspicions ;  you  will  then 
deal  candidly  by  a  wife  who  has  nothing  to  reproach  herself  with.' 

"  Any  other  than  Don  Anastasio  would  have  been  touched  by  her 
pleadings,  and  still  more  by  her  agonizing  affliction  ;  but  the  bar- 
barian, far  from  being  softened,  ordered  the  lady  once  again  to  re- 
commend herself  briefly  to  mercy,  and  lifted  his  arm  to  strike  the 
blow.  '  Hold,  inhuman  as  you  are  !'  cried  she.  '  If  your  love  for 
me  is  as  if  it  had  never  been,  if  my  lavish  fondness  in  return  is  all 
blotted  from  your  memory,  if  my  tears  have  no  eloquence  to  disarm 
your  hellish  purpose,  have  some  pity  on  your  own  blood.  Launch 
not  your  frantic  hand  against  an  innocent  who  has  not  yet  breathed 
this  vital  air.  You  cannot  be  its  executioner  without  the  curse  of 
Heaven  and  earth.  As  for  myself,  I  can  forgive  my  murderer ;  but 
the  butcher  of  his  own  child — think  deeply  of  it ! — must  pay  the 
dreadful  forfeit  of  so  detestable  a  deed.' 

"  Determined  as  Don  Anastasio  was  to  pay  no  attention  to  any- 
thing Estephania  could  say,  he  could  not  help  being  afiected  by  the 
frightful  images  these  last  words  presented  to  his  soul.  Wherefore, 
as  if  apprehensive  lest  nature  should  play  the  traitress  to  revenge, 
he  hastened  to  make  sure  of  his  staggering  resolves,  and  plunged  his 
dagger  into  her  bosom.  She  fell  motionless  on  the  ground.  He 
thought  her  dead,  and  on  that  supposition  left  his  house  imme- 
diately, to  be  no  more  seen  at  Antequera. 

"  In  the  meantime,  the  unhappy  victim  of  groundless  suspicion 
was  so  stunned  with  the  blow  she  had  received  as  to  remain  for  a 
short  interval  on  the  ground  without  any  signs  of  life.  Afterwards, 
coming  to  herself,  she  brought  an  old  female  servant  to  her  assist- 
ance by  her  plaints  and  lamentations.  That  good  old  woman,  behold- 
ing her  mistress  in  so  deplorable  a  state,  waked  the  whole  household, 
and  even  the  neighborhood,  by  her  cries.  The  room  was  soon  filled 
with  spectators.  Surgical  assistance  was  sent  for.  The  wound  was 
probed,  and  pronounced  not  to  be  mortal.  Their  opinion  turned  out 
to  be  correct,  for  Estephania  soon  recovered,  and  was  in  due  time 
delivered  of  a  son,  notwithstanding  the  cruel  circumstances  in  which 
she  had  been  placed.  That  son.  Signer  Gil  Bias,  you  behold  in  me ; 
I  am  the  fruit  of  that  dreadful  pregnancy. 

"  Women,  when  chaste  as  ice,  when  pure  as  snow,  seldom  escape 
calumny:  this  plague,  however,  though  virtue's  dowry,  did  not 
alight  upon  my  mother.  The  bloody  scene  passed,  in  common  fame, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  449 

for  the  transport  of  a  jealous  husband.  My  father,  it  is  true,  bore 
the  character  of  a  passionate  man,  prone  to  kindle  into  fury  on  the 
slightest  occasion.  Hordales  could  not  but  suppose  that  his  kins- 
woman must  suspect  him  of  having  sown  wild  fancies  in  the  mind 
of  Don  Anastasio,  so  that  he  satisfied  himself  with  this  imperfect 
relish  of  revenge,  and  ceased  to  importune  her.  But,  not  to  be 
tedious,  I  shall  pass  over  the  detail  of  my  education.  Suffice  it  to 
say,  that  my  principal  exercise  was  fencing,  which  I  practiced  rcg' 
ularly  in  the  most  famous  schools  of  Granada  and  Seville.  My 
mother  waited  with  impatience  till  I  was  of  age  to  measure  swords 
with  Don  Huberto,  that  she  might  instruct  me  in  the  grounds  of 
her  complaint  against  him.  In  my  eighteenth  year,  she  submitted 
her  cause  to  my  arbitrament,  not  without  floods  of  tears,  and  every 
symptom  of  the  deepest  anguish.  What  must  not  a  son  feel,  if  he 
has  the  spirit  and  the  heart  of  a  son,  at  the  sight  of  a  mother  in 
such  distressing  circumstances  ?  I  went  immediately  and  called  out 
Hordales ;  our  place  of  meeting  was  private,  as  it  should  be ;  we 
fought  long  and  furiously ;  three  of  my  thrusts  took  eflect,  and  I 
threw  him  to  the  ground,  like  a  dead  dog  despised. 

"  Don  Huberto,  feeling  his  wound  to  be  mortal,  fixed  his  last 
looks  upon  me,  and  declared  that  he  met  his  death  at  my  hands  as 
a  just  punishment  for  his  treason  against  my  mother's  honor.  He 
owned  that  in  revenge  for  the  pangs  of  despised  love  he  had  re- 
solved on  her  ruin.  Thus  did  he  breathe  his  last,  imploring  pardon 
from  Heaven,  from  Don  Anastasio,  from  Estephania,  and  from  my- 
self I  deemed  it  imprudent  to  return  home  and  acquaint  my 
mother  of  the  issue ;  fame  was  sure  to  perform  that  office  for  me. 
I  passed  the  mountains,  and  repaired  to  Malaga,  where  I  embarked 
on  board  a  privateer.  My  outside  not  altogether  indicating  cow- 
ardice, the  captain  consented  at  once  to  enroll  me  among  his  crew. 

"  We  were  not  long  before  we  went  into  action.  Near  the  island 
of  Alboutan,  a  corsair  of  Millila  fell  in  with  us,  on  his  return 
towards  the  African  coast  with  a  Spanish  vessel  richly  laden,  taken 
off  Carthagena.  We  attacked  the  African  briskly,  and  made  our- 
selves masters  of  both  ships,  with  eighty  Christians  on  board,  going 
as  slaves  to  Barbary.  Afterwards,  availing  ourselves  of  a  wind 
direct  for  the  coast  of  Granada,  we  shortly  arrived  at  Punta  de 
Helena. 

"While  we  were  inquiring  into  the  birthplace  and  condition  of 
our  rescued  captives,  a  man  about  fifty,  of  prepossessing  aspect,  fell 
under  my  examination.  He  stated  himself,  with  a  sigh,  to  belong  to 
Antequera.  My  heart  palpitated,  without  my  knowing  why ;  and  my 
emotion,  too  strong  to  pass  unnoticed,  excited  a  visible  sympathy  in 
him.  I  avowed  myself  his  townsman,  and  asked  his  family  name. 
29 


450  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

'Alasl'  answered  he,  'your  curiosity  makes  my  sorrow  flow  afresh. 
Eighteen  years  ago  did  I  leave  my  home,  where  my  remembrance  is 
coupled  with  scenes  of  blood  and  horror.  You  must  yourself  have 
heard  but  too  much  of  my  story.  My  name  is  Don  Anastasio  de 
Bada.'  *  Merciful  heaven !'  exclaimed  I ;  '  may  I  believe  my 
senses  ?  And  can  this  be  Don  Anastasio  ?  Father  I'  '  What  is 
it  you  say,  young  man?'  exclaimed  he,  in  his  turn,  with  surprise 
and  agitation  equal  to  my  own.  'Are  you  that  ill-fated  infant  still 
in  its  mother's  womb  when  I  sacrificed  her  to  my  fury  ?'  '  Yes,' 
said  I ;  '  none  other  did  the  virtuous  Estephania  bring  into  the 
world,  after  the  fatal  night  when  you  left  her  weltering  in  her  own 
blood.' 

"  Don  Anastasio  stifled  my  words  in  his  embraces.  For  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  we  could  only  mingle  our  inarticulate  sighs  and  exclam- 
ations. After  exhausting  our  tender  recollections,  and  indulging  in 
the  wild  expression  of  our  feelings,  my  father  lifted  his  eyes  to 
heaven,  in  gratitude  for  Estephania  saved ;  but  the  next  moment, 
as  if  doubtful  of  his  bliss,  he  demanded  by  what  evidence  his  wife's 
innocence  had  been  cleared.  '  Sir,' answered  I,  '  none  but  yourself 
ever  doubted  it.  Her  conduct  has  been  uniformly  spotless.  You 
must  be  undeceived.  Know  that  Don  Huberto  was  a  traitor.'  In 
proof  of  this  I  unfolded  all  his  perfidy,  the  vengeance  I  had  taken, 
and  his  own  confession  before  he  expired. 

"  My  father  was  less  delighted  at  his  liberty  restored  than  at  these 
happy  tidings.  In  the  forgetfulness  of  ecstasy,  he  repeated  all  his 
former  transports.  His  approbation  of  me  was  ardent  and  entire. 
'  Come,  my  son,'  said  he,  '  let  us  set  out  for  Antequera.  I  burn  with 
impatience  to  throw  myself  at  the  feet  of  a  wife  whom  I  have  treated 
so  unworthily.  Since  you  have  brought  me  acquainted  with  my  own 
injustice,  my  heart  has  been  torn  by  remorse.' 

"  I  was  too  eager  to  bring  together  a  couple  so  near  and  dear  to 
me,  not  to  expedite  our  journey  as  much  as  possible.  I  quitted  the 
privateer,  and  with  my  share  of  prize  money  bought  two  mules  at 
Adra,  my  father  not  choosing  again  to  incur  the  hazard  of  a  voyage. 
He  found  leisure  on  the  road  to  relate  his  adventures,  which  I  in- 
clined to  hear  as  seriously  as  did  the  Prince  of  Ithaca  the  various 
recitals  of  the  king  his  father.  At  length,  after  several  days,  we 
halted  at  the  foot  of  a  mountain  near  Antequera.  Wishing  to  reach 
home  privately,  we  went  not  into  the  town  till  midnight. 

"  You  may  guess  my  mother's  astonishment  at  beholding  a  hus- 
band whom  she  had  thought  forever  lost ;  and  the  almost  miraculous 
circumstances  of  his  restoration  were  a  second  source  of  wonder. 
He  entreated  forgiveness  for  his  barbarity  with  marks  of  repentance 
80  lively  that  she  could  not  but  be  moved.    Instead  of  looking  on 


ADVENTVKES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  451 

him  as  a  murderer,  she  only  saw  the  man  to  whose  will  high  Heaven 
had  subjected  her ;  such  religion  is  there  in  the  name  of  husband 
to  a  virtuous  wife  !  Estephania  had  been  so  alarmed  about  me  that 
my  return  filled  her  with  rapture.  But  her  joy  on  this  account  was 
not  without  alleviation.  A  sister  of  Hordales  had  instituted  a  crim- 
inal prosecution  against  her  brother's  antagonist.  The  search  for 
me  was  hot,  so  that  my  mother,  considering  home  as  insecure,  was 
painfully  anxious  about  me.  It  was  therefore  necessary  to  set  out 
that  very  night  for  court,  whither  I  come  to  solicit  my  pardon,  and 
hope  to  obtain  it  by  your  generous  intercession  with  the  prime 
minister." 

The  gallant  son  of  Don  Anastasio  thus  closed  his  narrative ;  after 
which  I  observed,  with  a  self-sufficient  physiognomy,  "  It  is  well, 
Signor  Don  Eoger ;  the  ofience  seems  to  me  to  be  venial.  I  will 
undertake  to  lay  the  case  before  his  excellency,  and  may  venture  to 
promise  you  his  protection."  The  thanks  my  client  lavished  would 
have  passed  in  at  one  ear  and  out  at  the  other,  if  they  had  not  been 
backed  by  assurances  of  more  substantial  gratitude.  But  when  once 
that  string  was  touched,  every  nerve  and  fibre  of  my  frame  vibrated 
in  unison.  On  the  very  same  day  did  I  relate  the  whole  story  to 
the  duke,  who  allowed  me  to  present  the  gentleman,  and  addressed 
him  thus :  "  Don  Roger,  I  have  been  informed  of  the  duel  which 
has  brought  you  to  court :  Santillane  has  laid  all  the  particulars 
before  me.  Malje  yourself  perfectly  easy ;  you  have  done  nothing 
but  what  the  circumstances  of  the  case  might  almost  warrant ;  and 
it  is  especially  on  the  ground  of  wounded  honor  that  his  majesty  is 
best  pleased  to  extend  his  grace  and  favor.  You  must  be  committed 
for  mere  form's  sake  ;  but  you  may  depend  on  it  your  confinement 
shall  be  of  short  duration.  In  Santillane  you  have  a  zealous  friend, 
who  will  watch  over  your  interests  and  hasten  your  release." 

Don  Eoger  paid  his  respectful  acknowledgments  to  the  minister, 
on  whose  pledge  he  went  and  surrendered  himself.  His  pardon  was 
soon  made  out,  owing  to  my  activity.  In  less  than  ten  days  I  sent 
this  modern  Telemachus  home,  to  say,  "  How  do  you  do  ?"  to  his 
Ulysses  and  Penelope.  Had  he  stood  upon  the  merits  of  his  case 
without  a  protector,  he  might  have  whined  out  a  year's  imprison- 
ment, and  scarcely  have  got  ofi"  at  last.  My  commission  was  but  a 
poor  hundred  pistoles.  It  was  no  very  magnificent  haul ;  but  I  was 
not  as  yet  a  Calderona,  to  turn  up  my  nose  at  the  small  fry. 


\mj^S^^\ 


452  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

Gil  BLA8  MAKES  A  LARGE   FORTUNE  IN  A  SHORT  TIME,  AND  BEHAVES 
LIKE  OTHER  WEALTHY  UPSTARTS. 

THIS  affair  gave  me  a  relish  for  my  trade;  and  ten  pistoles  to 
Scipio,  by  way  of  brokerage,  whetted  his  eagerness  to  start 
more  game  of  the  same  sort  I  have  already  done  justice  to  his 
talents  that  way  ;  he  might  as  modestly  have  appended  "  the  great" 
to  the  tail  of  his  name  as  the  most  noted  scoundrel  of  antiquity. 
The  second  customer  he  brought  me  was  a  printer,  who  manufac- 
tured books  of  chivalry,  and  had  made  his  fortune  by  waging  war 
against  common  sense.  This  printer  had  pirated  a  work  belonging 
to  a  brother  printer,  and  his  edition  had  been  seized.  For  three 
hundred  ducats  I  rescued  his  copies  out  of  jeopardy,  and  saved  him 
from  a  heavy  fine  Though  this  was  a  transaction  beneath  the 
prime  minister's  notice,  his  excellency  condescended,  at  my  request, 
to  interpose  his  authority  After  the  printer,  a  merchant  passed 
through  my  hands ;  the  occasion  was  thus  •  A  Portuguese  vessel 
had  been  taken  by  a  Barbary  corsair,  and  retaken  by  a  privateer 
from  Cadia  Two-thirds  of  the  cargo  belonged  to  a  merchant  at 
Lisbon,  who,  having  claimed  his  due  to  no  purpose,  came  to  the  court 
of  Spain  in  search  of  a  protector,  with  sufficient  credit  to  procure 
him  restitution.  I  took  up  his  cause,  and  he  recovered  his  property, 
deducting  the  sum  of  four  hundred  pistoles,  paid  to  me  in  consider- 
ation of  my  disinterested  zeal  for  justice 

And  now  most  surely  the  reader  will  call  out  to  me  at  this  place, 
"  Well  said,  good  master  Santillane !  Make  hay  while  the  sun 
shines.  You  are  on  the  high  road  to  fortune ;  push  forward,  and 
outstrip  your  rivals,"  "  O  !  let  me  alone  for  that.  I  spy,  or  my  eyes 
deceive  me,  my  servant  coming  in  with  a  new  gull  that  he  has  just 
caught  Even  so  !  It  is  my  very  Scipio,  Let  us  hear  what  he  has 
to  say,"  "  Sir,"  quoth  he,  "give  me  leave  to  introduce  this  eminent 
practitioner.  He  wants  a  license  to  sell  his  drugs,  during  the  term 
often  years,  in  all  the  towns  of  the  Spanish  monarchy,  to  the  exclu- 
sion of  all  other  quacks ;  in  short,  a  monopoly  of  poisons.  In  grati- 
tude for  this  patent  to  thin  mankind,  he  will  present  the  donor  with 
a  gratuity  of  two  hundred  pistoles,"  I  looked  superciliously,  like  a 
patron,  at  the  mountebank,  and  told  him  tliat  his  business  should 
be  done.  As  lameness  and  leprosy  would  have  it,  in  the  course  of  a 
few  days,  I  sent  him  on  his  progress  through  Spain,  invested  with 
full  powers  to  make  the  world  his  oyster,  and  leave  nothing  but  the 
shell  to  his  unpatented  competitors. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  453 

Besides  that  my  avarice  outran  my  accumulating  wealth,  I  had 
obtained  the  four  boons  just  specified  so  easily  from  his  grace,  as  not 
to  be  mealy-mouthed  about  asking  for  a  fifth.  The  town  of  Vera, 
on  the  coast  of  Granada,  wanted  a  governor ;  and  a  knight  of  Cala- 
trava  wanted  the  government,  for  which  he  was  willing  to  pay  me 
one  thousand  pistoles.  The  minister  was  ready  to  burst  with  laugh- 
ing to  see  me  so  eager  after  the  scot.  "  By  all  the  powers,  my  friend 
Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  you  go  to  work  tooth  and  nail  1  You  have  a 
most  inveterate  itch  to  do  as  you  would  be  done  by.  But  mark  me  I 
"When  mere  trifles  stand  between  us,  I  shall  not  stand  upon  trifles; 
but  when  governments  or  other  places  of  real  value  are  in  question, 
you  will  have  the  modesty  to  be  content  with  half  the  fee  for  your- 
self, and  will  account  to  me  for  the  other  half.  It  is  inconceivable  at 
what  expense  I  stand,  and  how  it  presses  on  my  finances  to  support 
the  dignity  of  my  station ;  for  though  disinterestedness  looks  vastly 
well  in  the  eyes  of  the  world,  you  are  to  understand,  between  our- 
selves, that  I  have  made  a  solemn  vow  against  dipping  into  my 
private  fortune.     On  this  hint,  arrange  your  future  plans." 

My  master,  by  this  discourse  relieving  me  from  the  fear  of  being 
troublesome,  or  rather  egging  me  on  to  run  at  the  ring  for  every 
prize,  made  me  still  more  worldly-minded  than  ever  I  had  been 
before.  I  should  not  have  objected  to  circulating  handbills,  with 
an  invitation  to  all  candidates  for  places  to  apply  on  certain  terms 
at  the  secretary's  ofiice.  My  functions  were  here,  Scipio's  were 
there ;  and  we  met  at  the  receipt  of  custom.  My  client  got  the 
government  of  Vera  for  his  thousand  pistoles ;  and  as  our  price  was 
fixed,  a  knight  of  St.  James  met  his  brother  of  Calatrava  in  the 
market  on  an  equal  footing.  But  mere  governors  were  paltry  fish 
to  fry ;  I  distributed  orders  of  knighthood,  and  converted  some  good 
stupid  burgesses  into  most  insufferable  gentry  by  one  stroke  of  the 
pen,  and  a  lacing  across  the  shoulders  with  a  broadsword.  The 
clergy,  too,  were  not  forgotten  in  my  charities.  Lesser  preferments 
were  in  my  gift;  everything  up  to  prebendal  stalls  and  collegiate 
dignities.  With  regard  to  bishoprics  and  archbishoprics,  Don  Rod- 
rigo  de  Calderona  had  the  charge  of  our  holy  religion.  As  church 
and  state  must  always  go  together,  supreme  magistracies,  command- 
eries,  and  viceroyalties  were  all  in  his  gift ;  whence  the  reader  will 
naturally  infer,  that  the  upper  offices  were  little  better  tenanted 
than  the  lower  ones ;  since  the  subjects  on  whom  our  election  fell, 
establishing  their  pretensions  on  a  certain  palpable  criterion,  were 
not  necessarily  and  unavoidably  either  the  cleverest  or  the  best- 
principled  people  in  the  world.  We  knew  very  well  that  the  wits 
and  lampooners  of  Madrid  made  themselves  merry  at  our  expense ; 
but  we  borrowed  our  philosophy  from  misers,  who  hug  themselves 


454  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

under  the  hootings  of  the  people,  when  they  count  over  the  accu- 
mulation of  their  pelf. 

Isocrates  was  in  the  right  to  insinuate,  in  his  elegant  Greek  ex- 
pression, that  what  is  got  over  the  devil's  hack  is  spent  under  his 
belly.  When  I  saw  myself  master  of  thirty  thousand  ducats,  and 
in  a  fair  way  to  gain  perhaps  ten  times  as  much,  it  seemed  to  be  a 
necessity  of  office  to  make  such  a  figure  as  became  the  right  hand 
of  a  prime  minister.  I  took  a  house  to  myself,  and  flirnished  it  in 
the  prevailing  style.  I  bought  an  attorney's  carriage  at  second 
hand ;  he  had  set  it  up  at  the  suggestion  of  vanity,  and  laid  it  down 
at  the  suggestion  of  his  banker.  I  hired  a  coachman  and  three 
footmen.  Justice  demands  that  old  and  faithful  servants  should 
be  promoted ;  I  therefore  invested  Scipio  with  the  threefold  honor 
of  valet-de-chambre,  private  secretary,  and  steward.  But  the  min- 
ister raised  my  pride  to  its  highest  pitch,  for  he  was  pleased  to  allow 
my  people  to  wear  his  livery.  My  poor  little  wits  were  now  com- 
pletely turned.  I  was  little  more  in  my  senses  than  the  disciples  of 
Porcius  Latro,  who,  by  dint  of  drinking  cumin,  having  made  them- 
selves as  pale  as  their  master,  thought  themselves  every  whit  as 
learned;  so  I  could  scarcely  refrain  from  fancying  myself  next  of 
kin  and  presumptive  heir  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma  himself.  The  popu- 
lace might  take  me  for  his  cousin,  and  people  who  knew  better,  for 
one  of  his  bastards,  a  suspicion  most  flattering  to  my  pride  of  blood. 

Add  to  this,  that  after  the  example  of  his  excellency,  who  kept 
a  public  table,  I  determined  to  give  parties  of  my  own.  Pursuant 
thereunto,  I  commissioned  Scipio  to  find  me  out  a  professed  cook  ; 
and  he  stumbled  upon  one  who  might  have  dished  up  a  dinner  for 
Nomentanus,  of  dripping-pan  notoriety.  My  cellar  was  well  stored 
with  the  choicest  wines.  My  establishment  being  now  complete,  I 
gave  my  house-warming.  Every  evening  some  of  the  clerks  in  the 
public  offices  came  to  sup  with  me,  and  affected  a  sort  of  political 
high  life  below  stairs.  I  did  the  honors  hospitably,  and  always 
sent  them  home  half  seas  over.  Like  master  like  man !  Scipio, 
too,  had  his  parties  in  the  servants'  hall,  where  he  treated  all  his 
chums  at  my  expense.  But  besides  that  I  felt  a  real  kindness  for 
that  lad,  he  contributed  to  grease  the  wheels  of  my  establishment, 
and  was  entitled  to  have  a  finger  in  the  dissipation.  As  a  young 
man,  some  little  license  was  allowable ;  and  the  ruinous  conse- 
quences did  not  strike  me  at  the  time.  Another  reason,  too,  pre- 
vented me  from  taking  notice  of  it;  incessant  vacancies,  ecclesiastical 
and  secular,  paid  me  amply  in  meal  and  in  malt.  My  surplus  was 
increasing  every  day.  Fortune's  curricle  seemed  to  have  driven  to 
my  door,  there  to  have  broken  down,  and  the  driver  to  have  taken 
shelter  with  me. 


AD  VENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  455 

One  thing  more  was  wanting  to  my  complete  intoxication — that 
Fabricio  might  be  witness  to  my  pomp.  He  was,  most  probably, 
come  back  from  Andalusia.  For  the  fun  of  surprising  him,  I  sent 
an  anonymous  note,  importing  that  a  Sicilian  nobleman  of  his  ac- 
quaintance would  be  glad  of  his  company  to  supper,  with  the  day, 
hour,  and  place  of  appointment,  which  was  at  my  house.  Nunez 
came,  and  was  most  inordinately  astonished  to  recognize  me  in  the 
Sicilian  nobleman.  "Yes,  my  friend,"  said  I,  "behold  the  master 
of  this  family.  I  have  a  retinue,  a  good  table,  and  a  strong  box 
besides."  "Is  it  possible,"  exclaimed  he  with  vivacity,  "that  all 
this  opulence  should  be  yours?  It  was  well  done  in  me  to  have 
placed  you  with  Count  Galiano.  I  told  you  beforehand  that  he  was 
a  generous  nobleman,  and  would  not  be  long  before  he  set  you  at 
your  ease.  Of  course  you  followed  my  wise  advice,  in  giving  the 
rein  a  little  more  freely  to  your  servants ;  you  find  the  benefit  of  it. 
It  is  only  by  a  little  mutual  accommodation  that  the  principal 
oflicers  in  great  houses  feather  their  nests  so  comfortably." 

I  suffered  Fabricio  to  go  on  as  long  as  he  liked,  complimenting 
himself  for  having  introduced  me  to  Count  Galiano.  When  he  had 
done,  to  chastise  his  ecstasies  at  having  procured  me  so  good  a  post, 
I  stated  at  full  length  the  returns  of  gratitude  with  which  that  noble- 
man had  recompensed  my  services.  But,  perceiving  how  ready  my 
poet  was  to  string  his  lyre  to  satire  at  my  recital,  I  said  to  him, 
"  The  Sicilian's  contemptible  conduct  I  readily  forgive.  Between 
ourselves,  it  is  more  a  subject  of  congratulation  than  of  regret.  If 
the  count  had  dealt  honorably  by  me,  I  should  have  followed  him 
into  Sicily,  where  I  should  still  be  in  a  subordinate  capacity,  wait- 
ing for  dead  men's  shoes.  In  a  word,  I  should  not  now  have  been 
hand  in  glove  with  the  Duke  of  Lerma." 

Nunez  felt  so  strange  a  sensation  at  these  last  words,  that  he  was 
tongue-tied  for  some  seconds.  Then  gulping  up  his  stammering 
accents  like  harlequin,  "  Did  I  hear  aright?"  said  he.  "What!  you 
hand  in  glove  with  the  prime  minister  ?"  "  I  on  one  side,  and  Don 
Rodrigo  de  Calderona  on  the  other,"  answered  I ;  "  and  according  to 
all  appearance,  my  fortunes  will  move  higher."  "  Truly,"  replied 
he,  "  this  is  admirable.  You  are  cut  out  for  every  occasion.  What 
a  universal  genius !  To  borrow  an  expression  from  the  tennis-court, 
you  have  a  racket  for  every  ball ;  nothing  comes  amiss  to  you.  At 
all  events,  my  lord,  I  am  sincerely  rejoiced  at  your  lordship's  pros- 
perity." "The  deuce  and  all,  Master  Nunez!"  interrupted  I;  "good 
now,  dispense  with  your  lords  and  lordships.  Let  us  banish  such 
formalities,  and  live  on  equal  terms  together."  "You  are  in  the 
right,"  replied  he ;  "  altered  circumstances  should  not  make  strange 
faces.    I  will  own  my  weakness ;  when  you  announced  your  eleva- 


456  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

tion,  you  took  away  my  breath  ;  but  the  chill  and  the  shudder  are 
over,  and  I  see  only  my  old  friend  Gil  Bias." 

•  Our  conversation  was  interrupted  by  the  arrival  of  four  or  five 
clerks.  "  Gentlemen,"  said  I,  introducing  Nunez,  "  you  are  to  sup 
with  Signer  Don  Fabricio,  who  writes  verses  of  impenetrable 
sublimity,  and  such  prose  as  would  not  know  itself  in  the  glass." 
Unluckily  I  was  talking  to  gentry  who  would  have  had  more  fellow- 
feeling  with  an  orang-outang  than  with  a  poet.  They  scarcely  con- 
descended to  look  at  him.  In  vain  did  he  pun,  parody,  rally,  or  rail 
to  hit  their  fancies,  for  they  had  none.  He  was  so  nettled  at  their 
indifference,  that  he  assumed  the  poetic  license,  and  made  his  es- 
cape. Our  clerks  never  missed  him,  but  forgot  at  once  that  he  had 
been  there. 

Just  as  I  was  going  out  the  next  morning,  the  poet  of  the  Asturiaa 
came  into  my  room.  "  I  beg  pardon,"  said  he,  "  for  having  cut  your 
clerks  so  abruptly  last  night ;  but,  to  deal  freely,  I  was  so  much  out 
of  my  element,  that  I  should  soon  have  played  old  chaos  with  them. 
Proud  puppies,  with  their  starch  and  self-important  air !  I  cannot 
conceive  how  a  clever  fellow  like  you  can  sit  it  out  with  such  lout- 
ish guests.  To-day  I  will  bring  you  some  of  more  life  and  spirit." 
"I  shall  be  very  much  obliged  to  you,"  answered  I:  "your  intro- 
duction is  sufficient."  "  Exactly  so,"  replied  he.  "  You  shall  have 
the  feast  of  reason  and  the  flow  of  soul.  I  will  go  forthwith  and 
invite  them,  for  fear  they  should  engage  themselves  elsewhere  ;  for 
happy  man  be  his  dole  who  can  get  them  to  dinner  or  supper,  they 
are  such  excellent  company !" 

Away  went  he ;  and  in  the  evening,  at  supper-time,  returned  with 
six  authors  in  his  train,  whom  he  presented  one  after  another  with 
a  set  speech  in  their  praise.  According  to  his  account,  the  wits  of 
Greece  and  Italy  were  nothing  in  comparison  of  these,  whose  works 
ought  to  be  printed  in  letters  of  gold.  I  received  this  deputation 
from  the  tuneful  sisters  very  politely.  My  behavior  was  even  in  the 
extravagance  of  good  breeding ;  for  the  republic  of  authors  is  a  little 
monarchical  in  its  demands  upon  our  flattery.  Though  I  had  given 
Scipio  no  express  direction  respecting  the  number  of  covers  at  this 
entertainment,  yet  knowing  what  a  hungry  and  voluptuous  race  were 
to  be  crammed,  he  had  mustered  the  courses  in  more  than  their  full 
complement. 

At  length  supper  was  announced,  and  we  fell  to  merrily.  My 
poets  began  talking  of  their  poems  and  themselves.  One  fellow, 
with  the  most  lyrical  assurance,  numbered  up  whole  hosts  of  first- 
rate  nobility  and  high-flying  dames,  who  were  quite  enraptured  with 
his  muse.  Another,  though  it  was  not  for  him  to  arraign  the  choice 
which  a  learned  society  had  lately  made  of  two  new  members,  could 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  467 

not  help  saying  that  it  was  strange  they  should  not  have  elected  him. 
All  the  rest  were  much  in  the  same  story.  Amid  the  clatter  of  knives 
and  forks,  my  ears  were  discordantly  dinned  with  verses  and  har- 
angues. They  each  took  it  by  turns  to  give  me  a  specimen  of  their 
composition.  One  languishes  out  a  sonnet ;  another  mouths  a  scene 
in  a  tragedy ;  and  a  third  reads  a  melancholy  criticism  on  the  prov- 
ince of  comedy.  The  next  in  turn  spouts  an  ode  of  Anacreon, 
translated  into  most  un-anacreontic  Spanish  verse.  One  of  his  breth- 
ren interrupts  him,  to  point  out  the  unclassical  use  of  a  particular 
phrase.  The  author  of  the  version  by  no  means  acquiesces  in  the 
remark ;  hence  arises  an  argument,  in  which  all  the  literati  take  one 
side  or  the  other.  Opinions  are  nearly  balanced ;  the  disputants  are 
nearly  in  a  passion  ;  as  argument  weakens,  invective  grows  stronger ; 
they  get  from  bad  to  worse  ;  over  goes  the  table,  and  up  jump  they 
to  fisticuffs.  Fabricio,  Scipio,  my  coachman,  my  footman,  and  my- 
self have  scarcely  lungs  or  strength  to  bring  them  to  their  senses. 
The  moment  the  battle  was  over,  off  scampered  they  as  if  my  house 
had  been  a  tavern,  without  the  slightest  apology  for  their  ill  be- 
havior. 

Nunez,  on  whose  word  I  had  anticipated  a  v^ry  pleasant  party, 
looked  rather  blue  at  this  conclusion.  "Well,  my  friend,"  said  I, 
"  what  do  you  think  of  your  literary  acquaintance  now  ?  As  sure  as 
Apollo  is  on  Parnassus,  you  brought  me  a  most  blackguard  set.  I 
will  stick  to  my  clerks ;  so  talk  no  more  to  me  about  authors."  "  I 
shall  take  care,"  answered  he,  "  not  to  invite  any  one  of  them  to  a 
gentleman's  house  again ;  for  these  are  the  most  select  and  well- 
mannered  of  the  tribe." 


CHAPTER   X. 


THE  M0BAL8  OB"  GIL  BLAS  BECOME  AT  COUET  MUCH  AS  IP   THEY  HAD 
NEVEE  BEEN   AT  AI^. 

WHEN  once  my  name  was  up  for  a  man  after  the  Duke  of 
Lerma's  own  heart,  I  had  very  soon  my  court  about  me. 
Every  morning  was  my  antechamber  crowded  with  company,  and 
ray  levees  were  all  the  fashion.  Two  sorts  of  customers  came  to  my 
shop;  one  set,  to  engage  my  interposition  with  the  minister,  on  fair 
commercial  principles ;  the  other  set,  to  excite  my  compassion  by 
pathetic  statements  of  their  cases,  and  give  me  a  lift  to  heaven  on 


458  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

the  packhorse  of  charity.  The  first  were  sure  of  being  heard  patiently 
and  served  diligently ;  with  regard  to  the  second  order,  I  got  rid  of 
them  at  once  by  plausible  evasions,  or  kept  them  dangling  till  they 
wore  their  patience  threadbare,  and  went  off  in  a  huff.  Before  I 
was  about  the  court,  my  nature  was  compassionate  and  charitable  ; 
but  tenderness  of  heart  is  an  unfashionable  frailty  there,  and  mine  be- 
came harder  than  any  flint.  Here  was  an  admirable  school  to  correct 
the  romantic  sensibilities  of  friendship :  nor  was  my  philosophy  any 
longer  assailable  in  that  quarter.  My  manner  of  dealing  with  Joseph 
Navarro,  under  the  following  circumstances,  will  prove  more  than 
volumes  on  that  head. 

This  Navarro,  the  founder  of  my  fortune,  to  whom  my  obligations 
were  thick  and  threefold,  paid  me  a  visit  one  day.  With  the  warm- 
est expressions  of  regard,  such  as  he  was  in  the  habit  of  lavishing, 
he  begged  me  to  ask  the  Duke  of  Lerma  for  a  certain  situation  for 
one  of  his  friends,  a  young  man  of  excellent  qualities  and  undoubted 
merit,  but  encumbered  with  an  inability  of  getting  on  in  the  world, 
"  I  am  well  assured,"  added  Joseph,  "  that,  with  your  good  and 
obliging  disposition,  you  will  be  enraptured  to  confer  a  favor  on  a 
worthy  man  with  a  very  slender  purse;  I  am  sure  you  will  feel 
obliged  to  me  for  giving  you  an  opportunity  of  carrying  your  bene- 
volent inclinations  into  effect."  This  was  just  as  good  as  telling  me 
that  the  business  was  to  be  done  for  nothing.  Though  such  doctrine 
was  not  quite  level  to  my  capacity,  I  still  affected  a  wish  to  do  as  he 
desired.  "  It  gives  me  infinite  pleasure,"  answered  I  to  Navarro, 
"  to  have  it  in  my  power  to  evince  my  lively  sense  of  all  youp  for- 
mer kindness  to  me  It  is  enough  for  you  to  take  any  man  living 
by  the  hand  ,  from  that  moment  he  becomes  the  object  of  my  un- 
wearied care.  Your  friend  shall  have  the  situation  you  want  for 
him  ;  nay,  he  has  it  already.  It  is  no  longer  any  concern  of  yours  ; 
leave  it  entirely  to  me." 

On  this  assurance  Joseph  went  away  in  high  glee ;  nevertheless, 
the  person  he  recommended  did  not  get  the  post  in  question.  It  was 
given  to  another  man,  and  my  strong  box  was  stronger  by  a  thou- 
sand ducats.  This  sum  was  infinitely  preferable  to  all  the  thanks  in 
the  world,  so  that  I  looked  pitifully  blank  when  next  we  met,  saying, 
"  Ah,  my  dear  Navarro !  you  should  have  thought  of  speaking  to 
me  sooner.  That  Calderona  got  the  start  of  me ;  he  has  given  away 
a  certain  thing  that  shall  be  nameless.  I  am  vexed  to  the  soul  not 
to  meet  you  with  better  tidings." 

Joseph  was  fool  enough  to  give  me  credit,  and  we  parted  better 
friends  than  ever;  but  I  suspect  that  he  soon  found  out  the  truth, 
for  he  never  came  near  me  again.  This  was  just  what  I  wanted. 
Besides  that  the  memory  of  benefits  received  grated  harshly,  it 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  469 

would  not  have  been  at  all  the  thing  for  a  person  in  my  then  sphere 
to  keep  company  with  a  certain  description  of  people. 

The  Count  de  Lemos  has  been  long  in  the  background ;  let  us 
make  him  a  little  more  prominent  on  the  canvas.  We  met  occasion- 
ally. I  had  carried  him  a  thousand  pistoles,  as  the  reader  will 
recollect;  and  I  now  carried  him  a  thousand  more,  by  order  of  his 
uncle  the  duke,  out  of  his  excellency's  funds  lying  in  my  hands. 
On  this  occasion  the  Count  de  Lemos  honored  me  with  a  long  con- 
ference. He  informed  me  that  at  length  he  had  completely  gained 
his  end,  and  was  in  unrivalled  possession  of  the  Prince  of  Spain's  good 
graces,  whose  sole  confidant  he  was.  His  next  concern  was  to  invest 
me  with  a  right  honorable  commission,  of  which  he  had  already 
given  me  a  hint.  "  Friend  Santillane,"  said  he,  "  now  is  the  time 
to  strike  while  the  iron  is  hot.  Spare  no  pains  to  find  out  some 
young  beauty  worthy  to  while  away  the  prince's  amorous  hours. 
You  have  your  wits  about  you,  and  a  word  to  the  wise  is  sufficient. 
Go,  run  about  the  town  ;  pry  into  every  hole  and  corner  ;  and  when 
you  have  pounced  upon  anything  likely  to  suit,  you  will  come  and 
let  me  know."  I  promised  the  count  to  leave  no  stone  unturned  in 
the  due  discharge  of  jny  employment,  which  seemed  to  require  no 
great  force  of  genius,  since  the  professors  of  the  science  are  so 
numerous. 

I  had  not  hitherto  been  much  practiced  in  such  delicate  investi- 
gations, but  it  was  more  than  probable  that  Scipio  had,  and  that  his 
talent  lay  peculiarly  that  way.  On  my  return  home  I  called  him 
in,  and  spoke  thus  to  him  in  private : — "  My  good  fellow,  I  have  a 
very  important  secret  to  impart.  Do  you  know  that  in  the  midst 
of  fortune's  favors  there  is  sometljing  still  wanting  to  crown  all  my 
wishes  ?"  "  I  can  easily  guess  what  that  is,"  interrupted  he,  with- 
out giving  me  time  to  finish  what  I  was  going  to  say  ;  "  you  want  a 
little  snug  bit  of  contraband  amusement,  to  keep  you  awake  of 
evenings,  and  rub  off  the  rust  of  business.  And,  in  fact,  it  is  a  mar- 
vellous thing  that  you  should  have  played  the  Joseph  in  the  heyday 
of  your  blood,  when  so  many  graybeards  around  you  are  playing 
the  elder."  "  I  admire  the  quickness  of  your  apprehension,"  replied 
I  with  a  smile.  "  Yes,  my  friend,  a  mistress  is  that  something  still 
wanting,  and  you  will  choose  for  me.  But  I  forewarn  you  that  I  am 
nice  hungry,  and  must  have  a  pretty  person,  with  more  than  pass- 
able manners."  "The  sort  of  thing  that  you  require,"  returned 
Scipio,  "  is  not  always  to  be  met  with  in  the  market.  Yet,  as  luck 
will  have  it,  we  are  in  a  town  where  everything  is  to  be  got  for 
money,  and  I  am  in  hopes  that  your  commission  will  not  hang  long 
on  hand." 

Accordingly,  within  three  days  he  pulled  me  by  the  sleeve,  say- 


460  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

ing,  "  I  have  discovered  a  treasure  I  A  young  lady  whose  name  is 
Catalina,  of  good  family  and  matchless  beauty,  living  with  her  aunt 
in  a  small  house,  where  they  make  both  ends  meet  by  clubbing 
their  little  matters,  and  set  the  slanderous  world  at  defiance.  Their 
waiting-maid,  a  girl  of  my  acquaintance,  has  given  me  to  understand 
that  their  door,  though  barred  against  all  impertinent  intruders, 
would  turn  upon  its  hinges  to  a  rich  and  generous  suitor,  if  he  would 
only  consent,  for  fear  of  prying  neighbors,  not  to  pay  his  visits  till 
after  nightfall,  and  then  in  the  most  private  manner  possible. 
Hereupon  I  magnified  you  as  the  properest  gentleman  in  the  world, 
and  entreated  piety  in  pattens  to  offer  your  humble  services  to  the 
ladies.  She  promised  to  do  so,  and  to  bring  me  back  my  answer 
to-morrow  morning  at  an  appointed  place."  "  That  is  all  very  well," 
answered  I ;  "  but  I  am  afraid  your  goddess  of  bed-making  has  been 
running  her  rig  upon  you."  "  No,  no,"  replied  he ;  "  old  birds  are 
not  to  be  caught  with  chaff.  I  have  already  made  inquiry  in  the 
neighborhood,  and  by  the  general  report  of  her,  Signora  (Jatalina 
is  a  second  Danae,  on  whom  you  will  have  the  happiness  of  coming 
down 

'Like  Jove  descending  from  his  tower, 
To  court  her  in  a  silver  shower.' " 

*  Out  of  conceit  as  I  was  with  the  intrinsic  value  of  ladies'  favors, 
this  was  not  to  be  scoffed  at ;  and  as  our  Mercury  in  petticoats  came 
the  next  day  to  tell  Scipio  that  it  only  depended  on  me  to  be  intro- 
duced that  very  evening,  I  dropped  in  between  eleven  and  twelve 
o'clock.  The  knowing  one  received  me  without  bringing  a  candle, 
and  led  me  by  the  hand  into  a  very  neat  apartment,  where  the  two 
ladies  were  sitting  on  a  satin  sofa,  dressed  in  the  most  elegant  taste. 
As  soon  as  they  saw  me  enter,  they  got  up  and  welcomed  me  in  a 
style  of  such  superior  breeding  as  would  not  have  disgraced  the 
highest  rank.  The  aunt,  whose  name  was  Signora  Mencia,  though 
with  the  remains  of  beauty,  had  no  attractions  for  me.  But  the 
niece  had  a  million,  for  she  was  a  goddess  in  mortal  form.  And 
yet,  to  examine  her  critically,  she  could  not  have  been  admitted  for 
a  perfect  beauty ;  but  then  there  was  a  charm  above  all  rules  of 
symmetry,  with  a  tingling  and  luxurious  warmth  about  her,  that 
seized  on  men's  hearts  through  their  eyes,  and  prevented  their  brains 
from  being  too  busy. 

Neither  were  my  senses  proof  against  so  dazzling  a  display.  I 
forgot  my  errand  as  proxy,  and  spoke  on  my  own  private  individual 
account,  with  the  enthusiasm  of  a  raw  recruit  in  the  tender  passion. 
The  dear  little  creature,  whose  wit  sounded  in  my  ears  with  three 
times  its  actual  acuteness,  under  favor  of  her  natural  endowments, 
made  a  complete  conquest  of  me  by  her  prattle.    I  began  to  launch 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  '461 

out  into  foolish  raptures,  when  the  aunt,  to  bring  me  to  my  bearings, 
thus  led  the  conversation  to  the  point  in  hand :  "  Signor  de  San- 
tillane,  I  shall  deal  very  explicitly  with  you.  On  the  high  enco- 
miums I  have  heard  of  your  character,  you  have  been  admitted  here 
without  the  affectation  of  making  much  ado  about  trifles :  but  do 
not  imagine  that  your  views  are  the  nearer  their  termination  for 
that  Hitherto  I  have  brought  my  niece  up  in  retirement,  and  you 
are,  as  it  were,  the  very  first  male  creature  on  whom  she  has  ever 
set  eyes.  If  you  deem  her  worthy  of  being  your  wife,  I  shall  feel 
myself  highly  honored  by  the  alliance ;  it  is  for  you  to  consider 
whether  those  terms  suit  you ;  but  you  cannot  have  her  on  cheaper." 

This  was  proceeding  to  business  with  a  vengeance!  It  put  little 
Cupid  to  flight  at  once :  or  else  he  was  just  going  to  try  one  of  his 
sharpest  arrows  upon  me.  But  a  truce  with  the  Pantheon  I  A 
marriage  so  bluntly  proposed  dispelled  the  fairy  vision :  I  sunk 
back  at  once  into  the  count's  plodding  agent,  and  changing  my  tone, 
answered  Signora  Mencia  thus :  "  Madam,  your  frankness  delights 
me,  and  I  will  meet  it  half  way.  Whatever  rank  I  may  hold  at 
court,  lower  than  the  highest  is  too  low  for  the  peerless  Catalina. 
A  far  more  brilliant  offer  waits  her  acceptance^  the  Prince  of  Spain 
shall  be  thrown  into  her  toils."  "  Surely  it  was  enough  to  have 
refused  my  niece,"  replied  the  aunt,  sarcastically ;  "  such  compli- 
ments are  sufficiently  unpleasing  to  our  sex  ;  it  could  not  be  neces- 
sary to  make  us  your  unfeeling  sport."  "I  really  am  not  in  so 
merry  a  mood,  madam,"  exclaimed  I;  "it  is  a  plain  matter  of  fact; 
I  am  commissioned  to  look  out  for  a  young  lady  of  merit  sufiicient 
to  engage  the  prince's  heart,  and  receive  his  private  visits;  the 
object  of  my  search  is  in  your  house,  and  here  his  royal  highness 
shall  fix  his  quarters." 

Signora  Mencia  could  scarcely  believe  her  ears ;  neither  were  they 
grievously  offended.  Nevertheless,  thinking  it  decent  to  be  startled 
at  the  immorality  of  the  proceeding,  she  replied  to  the  following 
effect:  "Though  I  should  give  implicit  credit  to  what  you  tell  me, 
you  must  understand  that  I  am  not  of  a  character  to  take  pleasure 
in  the  infamous  distinction  of  seging  my  niece  a  prince's  concubine. 
Every  feeling  of  virtue  and  of  honor  revolts  at  the  idea."  .... 
"What  a  simpleton  you  are  with  your  virtue  and  honor!"  inter- 
rupted I.  "  You  have  not  a  notion  above  the  level  of  a  tradesman's 
wife.  Was  there  ever  anything  so  stupid  as  to  consider  affairs  of 
this  kind  with  a  view  to  their  moral  tendency?  It  is  stripping 
them  of  all  their  beauty  and  excellence.  In  the  magic  lantern  of 
plenty,  pleasure,  and  preferment,  they  appear  with  all  their  brightest 
gloss.  Figure  to  yourself  the  heir  to  the  monarchy  at  the  happy 
Catalina's  feet;  fancy  him  all  rapture  and  lavish  bounty;  nor  doubt 


462  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

but  that  from  her  shall  spring  a  hero,  who  shall  immortalize  his 
mother's  name,  by  enrolling  his  own  in  the  imperishable  records  of 
eternal  fame." 

Though  the  aunt  desired  no  better  sport  than  to  take  me  at  my 
word,  she  affected  not  to  know  what  she  had  best  do ;  and  Catalina, 
who  longed  to  have  a  grapple  with  the  Prince  of  Spain,  affected  not 
to  care  about  the  matter,  which  made  it  necessary  for  me  to  press 
the  siege  closer,  till  at  length  Signora  Mencia,  finding  me  chopfallen 
and  ready  to  withdraw  my  forces,  sounded  a  parley,  and  agreed  to 
a  convention,  containing  the  two  following  articles :  "Imprimis,  if 
the  Prince  of  Spain,  on  the  fame  of  Catalina's  charms,  should  take 
fire,  and  determine  to  pay  her  a  nightly  visit,  it  should  be  my  care 
to  let  the  ladies  know  when  they  might  expect  him,  Secondo,  that 
the  prince  should  be  introduced  to  the  said  ladies  as  a  private  gen- 
tleman, accompanied  only  by  himself  and  his  principal  purveyor." 

After  this  capitulation,  the  aunt  and  niece  were  upon  the  best 
terms  possible  with  me ;  they  behaved  as  if  we  had  known  one 
another  from  our  cradles ;  on  the  strength  of  which  I  ventured  ou 
some  little  familiarities,  which  were  not  taken  at  all  unkindly ;  and 
when  we  parted,  they  embraced  me  of  their  own  accord,  and  slab- 
bered me  over  with  inexpressible  fondness.  It  is  marvellous  to 
think  with  what  facility  a  tender  connection  is  formed  between  per- 
sons in  the  same  line  of  trade,  but  of  opposite  sexes.  It  might  have 
been  suspected  by  an  eye-witness  of  my  departure,  in  all  the  pleni- 
tude of  warm  and  repeated  salutation,  that  my  visit  had  been  more 
successful  than  it  was. 

The  Count  de  Lemos  was  highly  delighted  when  I  announced  the 
long-expected  discovery.  I  spoke  of  Catalina  in  terms  which  made 
him  long  to  see  her.  The  following  night  I  took  him  to  her  house, 
and  he  owned  that  I  had  beat  the  bush  to  some  purpose.  He  told 
the  ladies  he  had  no  doubt  but  the  Prince  of  Spain  would  be  fully 
satisfied  with  my  choice  of  a  mistress,  who,  on  her  part,  would  have 
reason  to  be  well  pleased  with  such  a  lover ;  that  the  young  prince 
was  generous,  good-tempered,  and  amiable ;  in  short,  he  promised  in 
a  few  days  to  bring  him  in  the  mode  they  enjoined,  without  retinue 
or  publicity.  That  nobleman  then  took  leave  of  them,  and  I  with- 
drew with  him.  We  got  into  his  carriage,  in  which  we  had  both 
driven  thither,  and  which  was  waiting  at  the  end  of  the  street.  He 
set  me  down  at  my  own  door,  with  a  special  charge  to  inform  his 
uncle  next  day  of  the  new  game  started,  not  forgetting  to  impress 
strongly  how  conducive  a  good  bag  of  pistoles  would  be  to  the  suc- 
cessful accomplishment  of  the  adventure. 

I  did  not  fail  on  the  following  morning  to  go  and  give  the  Duke 
of  Lerma  an  exact  account  of  all  that  had  passed.    There  was  but 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  463 

one  thing  kept  back,  I  did  not  mention  Scipio's  name,  but  took 
credit  to  myself  for  the  discovery  of  Cataiina.  One  makes  a  merit 
of  any  dirty  work  in  the  service  of  the  great. 

Abundant  were  the  compliments  paid  me  on  this  occasion,  "My 
good  friend  Gil  Bias,"  said  the  minister  with  a  bantering  air,  "  I  am 
delighted  that,  with  all  your  talents,  you  have  that  besides  of  dis- 
covering kind-hearted  beauties ;  whenever  I  have  occasion  for  such 
an  article,  you  will  have  the  goodness  to  supply  me."  "  My  lord," 
answered  I,  with  mock  gravity  like  his  own,  "  you  are  very  obliging 
to  give  me  the  preference ;  but  it  may  not  be  unseasonable  to  observe 
that  there  would  be  an  indelicacy  in  my  administering  to  your  ex- 
cellency's pleasures  of  this  description.  Signor  Don  Eodrigo  has 
been  so  long  in  possession  of  that  post  about  your  person,  that  it 
would  be  manifest  injustice  to  rob  him  of  it,"  The  duke  smiled  at 
my  answer,  and  then  changing  the  subject,  asked  whether  his  nephew 
did  not  want  money  for  this  new  speculation.  "  Excuse  my  negli- 
gence !"  said  I;  "  he  will  thank  you  to  send  him  a  thousand  pistoles." 

"  Well  and  good!"  replied  the  minister;  "  you  will  furnish  him 
accordingly,  with  my  strict  injunction  not  to  be  niggardly,  but  to 
encourage  the  prince  in  whatever  pleasurable  expense  his  heart 
may  prompt  him  to  indulge." 


CHAPTER  XI. 

THB  PRINCE  OF  SPAIN'S  SECRET  VISIT,  AND    PRESENTS  TO  CATALINA. 

I  WENT  to  the  Count  de  Lemos  on  the  spur  of  the  occasion,  with 
five  hundred  double  pistoles  in  my  hand.  "  You  could  not  have 
come  at  a  better  time,"  said  that  nobleman,  "I  have  been  talking 
with  the  prince ;  he  has  taken  the  bait,  and  burns  with  impatience 
to  see  Catalina,  This  very  night  he  intends  to  slip  privately  out  of 
the  palace,  and  pay  her  a  visit ;  it  is  a  measure  determined  on,  and 
our  arrangements  are  already  made.  Give  notice  to  the  ladies, 
through  the  medium  of  the  cash  you  have  just  brought;  it  is  proper 
to  let  them  know  they  have  no  ordinary  lover  to  receive,  and  a  mat- 
ter of  course  that  generosity  in  princes  should  be  the  herald  of  their 
partialities.  As  you  will  be  of  our  party,  take  care  to  be  in  the  way 
at  bed-time  ;  and  as  your  carriage  will  be  wanted,  let  it  wait  near 
the  palace  about  midnight." 

I  immediately  repaired  to  the  ladies.    Catalina  was  not  visible. 


464  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

having  just  gone  to  lie  down.  I  could  only  speak  with  Signora 
Mencia.  "  Madam,"  said  I,  "  forgive  my  appearance  here  in  the 
daytime,  but  there  was  no  avoiding  it;  you  must  know  that  the 
Prince  of  Spain  will  be  with  you  to-night;  and  here,"  added  I,  put- 
ting my  pecuniary  credentials  into  her  hand,  "  here  is  an  offering 
which  he  lays  on  the  Cytherean  shrine,  to  propitiate  the  divinities 
of  the  temple.  You  may  perceive,  I  have  not  entangled  you  in  a 
sleeveless  concern."  "  You  have  been  excessively  kind  indeed," 
answered  she ;  "  but  tell  me,  Signor  de  Santillane,  does  the  prince 
love  music  ?"  "  To  distraction,"  replied  I.  "  There  is  nothing  he  so 
much  delights  in  as  a  fine  voice,  with  a  delicate  lute  accompani- 
ment." "  So  much  the' better,"  exclaimed  she  in  a  transport  of  joy ; 
"you  give  me  great  pleasure  by  saying  so,  for  my  niece  has  the  pipe 
of  a  nightingale,  and  plays  exquisitely  on  the  lute:  then  her  dancing 
is  in  the  finest  style !"  "  Heavens  and  earth  !"  exclaimed  I  in  my 
turn,  "  here  are  accomplishments  by  wholesale,  aunt ;  more  than 
enough  to  make  any  girl's  fortune !  Any  one  of  those  talents  would 
have  been  a  sufficient  dowry." 

Having  thus  smoothed  his  reception,  I  waited  for  the  prince's  bed- 
time. When  it  was  near  at  hand,  I  gave  my  coachman  his  orders, 
and  went  to  the  Count  de  Lemos,  who  told  me  that  the  prince,  the 
sooner  to  get  rid  of  the  people  about  him,  meant  to  feign  a  slight  in- 
disposition, and  even  to  go  to  bed,  the  better  to  cajole  his  attendants ; 
but  that  he  would  get  up  an  hour  afterwards,  and  go  through  a  pri- 
vate door  to  a  back  staircase  leading  into  the  court-yard. 

Conformably  with  their  previous  arrangements,  he  fixed  my  sta- 
tion. There  had  I  to  beat  the  hoof  so  long,  that  I  began  to  suspect 
our  forward  sprig  of  royalty  had  gone  another  way,  or  else  had 
changed  his  mind  about  Catalina ;  just  as  if  princes  ever  began  to 
be  fickle  till  the  goad  of  novelty  and  curiosity  began  to  be  blunted. 
In  short,  I  thought  they  had  forgotten  me^  when  two  men  came  up. 
Finding  them  to  be  my  party,  I  led  the  way  to  my  carriage,  into 
which  they  both  got,  and  I  upon  the  coach-box  to  direct  the  driver, 
whom  I  stopped  fifty  yards  from  the  house,  whither  we  walked. 
The  door  opened  at  our  approach,  and  shut  again  as  soon  as  we 
got  in. 

At  first  we  were  in  absolute  darkness,  as  on  my  former  visit, 
though  a  small  lamp  was  fixed  to  the  wall  on  the  present  occasion. 
But  the  light  which  it  shed  was  so  faint  as  only  to  render  itself 
visible  without  assisting  us.  All  this  served  only  to  heighten  the 
romance  in  the  fancy  of  its  hero,  fixed  as  he  was  in  steadfast  gaze 
at  the  sight  of  the  ladies  as  they  received  him  in  a  saloon  whose 
brilliant  illumination  was  more  dazzling  when  contrasted  with  the 
gloom  of  the  avenue.    The  aunt  and  niece  were  in  a  tempting  un- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  466 

dress,  where  the  science  of  coquetry  was  displayed  in  all  its  luxury 
and  absolute  sway.  Our  prince  could  have  been  happy  with  Signora 
Mencia,  had  the  dear  charmer  Catalina  been  away;  but  as  there  was 
a  choice,  the  younger,  according  to  the  rules  of  precedency  in  the 
court  of  Cupid,  had  the  preference. 

"  Well,  prince,"  said  the  Count  de  Lemos,  "  could  you  have  de- 
eired  a  better  specimen  of  beauty  ?"  "  They  are  both  enchanting," 
answered  the  prince,  "and  my  heart  may  as  well  surrender  at  once; 
for  the  aunt  would  arrest  it  in  its  flight,  if  it  attempted  to  sound  a 
retreat  from  the  niece's  all-subduing  charms." 

After  such  compliments  as  do  not  fall  by  wholesale  to  the  share 
of  aunts,  he  addressed  his  choicest  terms  of  flattery  to  Catalina,  who 
answered  him  in  kind.  As  convenient  personages  of  my  stamp  are 
allowed  to  mingle  in  the  conversation  of  lovers,  for  the  purpose  of 
making  fire  hotter,  I  introduced  the  subject  of  singing  and  playing 
on  the  lute.  This  was  the  signal  of  fresh  rapture ;  and  the  nymph, 
the  muse,  the  anything  but  mortal,  was  supplicated  to  outtune  the 
jingle  of  the  spheres.  She  complied  like  a  good-humored  goddess ; 
played  some  tender  airs,  and  sung  so  deliciously,  that  the  prince 
flopped  down  on  his  knees  in  a  tumult  of  love  and  pleasure.  But 
scenes  like  these  are  vapid  in  description:  suffice  it  to  say  that 
hours  glided  away  like  moments  in  this  sweet  delirium,  till  the 
approach  of  day  warned  the  sober  plotters  of  the  lunacy  to  provide 
for  their  patient's  safety  and  their  own.  When  the  parties  were  all 
snugly  housed,  we  gave  ourselves  as  much  credit  for  the  negotiation 
as  if  we  had  patched  up  a  marriage  with  a  princess. 

The  next  morning  the  Duke  of  Lerma  desired  to  know  all  the 
particulars.  Just  as  I  had  finished  relating  them,  the  Count  de 
Lemos  came  in,  and  said,  "The  Prince  of  Spain  is  so  engrossed  by 
Catalina,  he  has  taken  so  decided  a  fancy  to  her,  that  he  actually 
proposes  to  be  constant.  He  wanted  to  have  sent  her  jewels  to  the 
amount  of  two  thousand  pistoles  to-day,  but  his  finances  were 
aground.  'My  dear  Lemos,'  said  he,  addressing  himself  to  me, 
'you  must  absolutely  get  me  that  sum.  I  know  it  is  very  incon- 
venient; you  have  pawned  your  credit  for  me  already;  but  my 
heart  owns  itself  your  debtor,  and  if  ever  I  have  the  means  of  re- 
turning your  kindness  by  more  than  empty  words,  your  fortunes 
shall  not  suffer  by  your  complaisance.'  In  answer,  I  assured  him 
that  I  had  friends  and  credit,  and  promised  to  bring  him  what  he 
wanted." 

"  There  is  no  difiiculty  about  that,"  said  the  duke  to  his  nephew. 

"  Santillane  will  bring  you  the  money  ;  or,  to  save  trouble,  he  may 

purchase  the  jewels,  for  he  is  an  admirable  judge,  especially  of 

rubies.    Are  you  not,  Gil  Bias?"    This  stroke  of  satire  was  of 

30 


466  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

course  designed  to  entertain  the  count  at  my  expense ;  and  it  was 
successful,  for  his  curiosity  could  not  but  be  excited  to  know  the 
meaning  df  the  mystery.  "  No  mystery  at  all,"  replied  his  uncle, 
with  a  broad  laugh.  "  Only  Santillane  took  it  into  his  head  one 
day  to  exchange  a  diamond  for  a  ruby,  and  the  barter  operated 
equally  to  the  advantage  of  his  pocket  and  his  penetration." 

Had  the  minister  stopped  there  I  should  have  come  off  cheaply  ; 
but  he  took  the  trouble  of  dressing  out  in  aggravated  colors  the 
trick  that  Camilla  and  Don  Raphael  played  me,  with  a  most  pro- 
voking enlargement  of  the  circumstances  most  to  the  disadvantage 
of  my  sagacity.  His  excellency,  having  enjoyed  his  joke,  ordered 
me  to  attend  the  Count  de  Lemos  to  a  jeweller's,  where  we  selected 
trinkets  for  the  Prince  of  Spain's  inspection,  and  they  were  en- 
trusted to  my  care,  to  be  delivered  to  Catalina. 

There  can  be  little  doubt  of  my  kind  reception  on  the  following 
night,  when  I  displayed  a  fine  pair  of  drop  ear-rings,  as  the  presents 
of  my  embassy.  The  two  ladies,  out  of  their  wits  at  these  costly 
tokens  of  the  prince's  love,  suffered  their  tongues  to  run  into  a  gos- 
siping strain,  while  they  were  thanking  me  for  introducing  them 
into  such  worshipful  society.  In  the  excess  of  their  joy,  they  forgot 
themselves  a  little.  There  escaped  now  and  then  certain  peculiar 
idioms  of  speech,  which  made  me  suspect  that  the  party  in  question 
was  no  such  dainty  morsel  for  royalty  to  feed  upon.  To  ascertain 
precisely  what  degree  of  obligation  I  had  conferred  on  the  heir- 
apparent,  I  took  my  leave  with  the  intention  of  coming  to  a  right 
understanding  with  Scipio. 


CHAPTEE    XII. 

CATALINA'S  KEAL  condition  a  WOKRY  and  alarm  to  GIL  BLAS.    HIS 
PRECAUTIONS  FOR  HIS  OWN  EASE  AND  QUIET. 

ON  coming  home,  I  heard  a  devil  of  a  noise,  and  inquired  what 
was  the  meaning  of  it.  They  told  me  that  Scipio  was  giving 
a  supper  to  half-a-dozen  of  his  friends.  They  were  singing  as  loud 
as  their  lungs  could  roar,  and  threatening  the  stability  of  the  house 
with  their  protracted  peals  of  laughter.  This  meal  was  not  in  all 
respects  the  banquet  of  the  seven  wise  men. 

The  founder  of  the  feast,  informed  of  my  arrival,  said  to  his  com- 
pany, "  Sit  still,  gentlemen ;  it  is  only  the  master  of  the  house  come 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  467 

home;  but  that  need  not  disturb  you.  Go  on  with  your  merry- 
making; I  will  just  whisper  a  word  in  his  ear,  and  be  back  again  in 
a  moment."  He  came  to  me  accordingly.  "  What  an  infernal  din !" 
said  I.  "  What  sort  of  company  do  you  keep  below  ?  Have  you, 
too,  got  in  among  the  poets  ?"  "  Thank  you  for  nothing !"  answered 
he.  "  Your  wine  is  too  good  to  be  given  to  such  gentry  ;  I  turn  it 
to  better  account  There  is  a  young  man  of  large  property  in  my 
party,  who  wishes  to  lay  out  your  credit  and  his  own  money  in  the 
purchase  of  a  place.  This  little  festivity  is  all  for  him.  For  every 
glass  he  fills,  I  put  on  ten  pistoles  in  addition  to  the  regular  fee.  He 
shall  drink  till  he  is  under  the  table."  "  If  that  is  the  case,"  replied 
I,  "  go  to  your  presidentship,  and  do  not  spare  the  cellar." 

Then  was  no  proper  time  to  talk  about  Catalina ;  but  the  next 
morning  I  opened  the  business  thus : — "  Friend  Scipio,  the  terms 
we  are  upon  entitle  me  to  fair  dealing.  I  have  treated  you  more 
like  an  equal  than  a  servant,  consequently  you  would  be  much  to 
blame  to  cheat  me  on  the  footing  of  a  master.  Let  us,  therefore, 
have  no  secrets  towards  each  other.  I  am  going  to  tell  you  what 
will  surprise  you  ;  and  you,  on  your  part,  shall  give  me  your  sincere 
opinion  about  the  two  women  with  whom  you  have  brought  me 
acquainted.  Between  ourselves,  I  suspect  them  to  be  no  better  than 
they  should  be,  with  so  much  the  more  of  the  knave  in  their  com- 
position because  they  affect  the  simpleton.  If  my  conjecture  be 
right,  the  Prince  of  Spain  has  no  great  reason  to  be  delighted  with 
my  activity,  for  I  will  own  to  you  frankly  that  it  was  for  him  I 
spoke  to  you  about  a  mistress.  I  brought  him  to  see  Catalina,  and 
he  is  over  head  and  ears  in  love  with  her."  "  Sir,"  answered  Scipio, 
"you  have  dealt  so  handsomely  by  me,  that  I  shall  act  upon  the 
square  with  you.  I  had  yesterday  a  private  interview  with  the 
abigail,  and  she  gave  me  a  most  entertaining  history  of  the  family. 
You  shall  have  it  briefly,  though  it  did  not  come  briefly  to  me. 

"  Catalina  was  daughter  to  a  sort  of  gentleman  in  Arragon.  An 
orphan  at  fifteen,  with  no  fortune  but  a  pretty  face,  she  lent  a  com- 
plying ear  to  an  officer,  who  carried  her  off"  to  Toledo,  where  he  died 
in  six  months,  having  been  more  like  a  father  than  a  husband  to 
her.  She  collected  his  effects  together,  consisting  of  their  joint  ward- 
robe and  three  hundred  pistoles  in  ready  money,  and  then  went  to 
housekeeping  with  Signora  Mencia,  who  was  still  in  fashion,  though 
a  little  on  the  wane.  These  sisters,  every  way  but  in  blood,  began 
to  attract  the  attention  of  the  police.  The  ladies  took  umbrage  at 
this,  and  decamped  in  dudgeon  for  Madrid,  where  they  have  been 
living  for  these  two  years,  without  making  any  acquaintance  in  the 
neighborhood.  But  now  comes  the  best  of  the  joke :  they  have 
taken  two  small  houses  adjoining  each  other,  with  a  passage  of 


468  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

communication  through  the  cellars.  Signora  Mencia  lives  with  a 
servant  girl  in  one  of  these  houses,  and  the  oflBcer's  widow  inhabits 
the  other,  with  an  old  duenna,  whom  she  passes  off  for  her  grand- 
mother, so  that  her  versatile  child  of  nature  is  sometimes  a  niece 
brought  up  by  her  aunt,  and  sometimes  an  orphan  under  her 
grandam's  fostering  wing.  When  she  enacts  the  niece,  her  name  is 
Catalina,  and  when  ske  personates  the  granddaughter,  she  calls  her- 
self Sirena." 

At  the  grating  sound  of  Sirena  I  turned  pale,  and  interrupted 
Scipio,  saying,  "  What  do  you  tell  me  ?  Alas !  it  must  be  so.  This 
cursed  imp  of  Arragon  is  Calderona's  charming  Siren."  "  To  be 
sure  she  is,"  answered  he,  "  the  very  same.  I  \hought  you  would 
be  delighted  at  the  news."  "  Quite  the  reverse,"  replied  I.  "  It 
portends  more  sorrow  than  laughter;  do  not  you  anticipate  the 
consequences?"  "None  of  any  ill  omen,"  rejoined  Scipio.  "What 
is  there  to  be  afraid  of?*  It  is  not  certain  that  Don  Rodrigo  will 
rub  his  forehead ;  and  in  case  any  good-natured  friend  should  show 
it  him  in  the  glass,  you  had  better  let  the  minister  into  the  secret 
beforehand.  Tell  him  all  the  circumstances  straightforsvard  as  they 
happened ;  he  will  see  that  there  has  been  no  trick  on  your  part ; 
and  if,  after  that,  Calderona  should  attempt  to  do  you  an  ill  oflBce 
with  his  excellency,  it  will  be  as  clear  as  daylight  that  he  is  only 
actuated  by  a  spirit  of  revenge." 

Scipio  removed  all  my  apprehensions  by  this  advice,  which  I  fol- 
lowed in  acquainting  the  Duke  of  Lerma  at  once  with  this  unlucky 
discovery.  My  aspect,  while  telling  my  tale,  was  sorrowful  and  my 
tone  faltering,  in  evidence  of  my  contrition  for  having  unadvisedly 
brought  the  Prince  and  Don  Rodrigo  into  such  close  quarters ;  but 
the  minister  was  more  disposed  to  roast  his  favorite  than  to  pity 
him.  Indeed,  he  ordered  me  to  let  the  matter  take  its  own  course, 
considering  it  as  a  feather  in  Calderona's  cap  to  dispute  the  empire 
of  love  with  so  illustrious  a  rival,  and  not  to  be  worse  used  than  his 
lawful  prince.  The  Count  de  Lemos,  too,  was  informed  how  things 
stood,  and  promised  me  his  protection  if  the  first  secretary  should 
come  at  the  knowledge  of  the  intrigue,  and  attempt  to  undermine 
me  with  the  duke. 

Trusting  to  have  secured  the  frail  bark  -of  my  fortunes  by  this 
notable  contrivance  from  the  rocks  and  quicksands  that  threatened 
it,  my  mind  was  once  more  at  rest.  I  continued  attending  the 
prince  on  his  visits  to  Catalina,  siren-like  in  nature  as  in  nick- 
name, who  was  fertile  in  quaint  devices  to  keep  Don  Rodrigo  away 
from  next  door,  whenever  the  course  of  business  required  her  to 
devote  her  nights  to  his  royal  competitor. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  469 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

GIL   BLAS  GOBS  ON  PEESOJSTATING  THE   GKEAT   MAN.     HE  HEARS   NEWS 
OF  .HIS  FAMILY.     A  GRAND  QUAKKEL  WITH   FABKICIO. 

I  MENTIONED  some  time  ago  that  in  the  morning  there  was 
usually  a  crowd  of  people  in  my  antechamber,  coming  to  nego- 
tiate little  private  concerns  in  the  way  of  politics;  but  I  would 
never  suffer  them  to  open  their  business  by  word  of  mouth;  but 
adopting  court  precedent,  or  rather  giving  myself  the  airs  of  a  Jack 
in  oflSce,  my  language  to  every  suitor  was,  "  Send  in  a  memorial  on 
the  subject."  My  tongue  ran  so  glibly  to  that  tune,  that  one  day  I 
gave  my  landlord  the  official  answer,  when  he  came  to  put  me  In 
mind  of  a  twelvemonth's  rent  in  arrear.  As  for  my  butcher  and 
baker,  they  spared  me  the  trouble  of  asking  for  their  memorials,  by 
never  giving  me  time  to  run  up  a  bill.  Scipio,  who  mimicked  me 
so  exactly  that  only  those  behind  the  scenes  could  distinguish  the 
double  from  the  principal  performer,  held  his  head  just  as  high  with 
the  poor  devils  who  curried  favor  with  him,  as  a  step  of  the  ladder 
to  my  ministerial  patronage. 

There  was  another  foolish  trick  of  mine,  of  which  I  do  not  by  any 
means  pretend  to  make  a  merit ;  neither  more  nor  less  than  the  ex- 
treme assurance  of  talking  about  the  first  nobility  just  as  if  I  had 
been  one  of  their  kidney.  Suppose,  for  example,  the  Duke  of  Alva, 
the  Duke  of  Ossuna,  or  the  Duke  of  Medina  Sidonia  were  mentioned 
in  conversation ;  I  called  them,  without  ceremony,  my  friend  Alva, 
that  good-natured  fellow  Ossuna,  or  that  comical  dog  Medina 
Sidonia.  In  a  word,  my  pride  and  vanity  had  swelled  to  such  a 
height,  that  my  father  and  mother  were  no  longer  among  the  num- 
ber of  my  honored  relatives.  Alas  !  poor  understrappers,  I  never 
thought  of  asking  whether  you  had  sunk  or  were  swimming  in  the 
Asturias.  A  thought  about  you  never  came  into  my  head.  The  court 
has  all  the  soporific  virtues  of  Lethe  in  the  case  of  poor  relations. 

My  family  was  completely  obliterated  from  the  tablets  of  my 
memory,  when  one  morning  a  young  man  knocked  at  my  door,  and 
begged  to  speak  with  me  for  a  moment  in  private.  He  was  shown 
into  my  closet,  where  without  asking  him  to  take  a  chair,  as  he 
seemed  to  be  quite  a  common  fellow,  I  desired  to  know  abruptly 
what  he  wanted.  "  How  !  Signer  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  "  do  you  not 
remember  me  ?"  It  was  in  vain  that  I  perused  the  lines  of  his  face 
over  and  over  again ;  I  was  obliged  to  tell  him  fairly  that  he  had 
the  advantage  of  me.  "  Why,  I  am  one  of  your  old  schoolfellows," 
replied  he,  "  bred  and  born  in  Oviedo :  Bertrand  Muscada,  the 


470  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

grocer's  son,  next  door  neighbor  to  your  uncle  the  canon.  I  recol- 
lect you  as  well  as  if  it  was  but  yesterday.  We  have  played  a  thou- 
sand times  together  at  blind  man's  buff  and  prison  bars." 

"  My  youthful  recollections,"  answered  I,  "  are  very  transient  and 
confused.  Blind  man's  buff  and  prison  bars  are  but  childish  amuse- 
ment I  The  burden  of  state  affairs  leaves  me  little  time  to  ruminate 
on  the  trifles  of  my  younger  days."  "  I  am  come  to  Madrid,"  said 
he,  "  to  settle  aecounts  with  my  father's  correspondent.  I  heard 
talk  of  you.  Folks  say  that  you  have  a  good  berth  at  court,  and  are 
already  almost  as  well  off  as  a  Jew  broker.  I  thought  I  would  just 
call  in  and  say,  how  d'ye  do  ?  On  my  return  into  the  country,  your 
family  will  jump  out  of  their  skins  for  joy,  when  they  hear  how 
fiimously  you  are  getting  on." 

It  was  impossible  in  decency  to  avoid  asking  how  my  father,  my 
mother,  and  my  uncle  stood  in  the  world  ;  but  that  duty  was  per- 
formed in  so  gingerly  a  manner  as  to  leave  the  grocer  little  room  to 
compliment  dame  Nature  on  her  liberal  provision  of  instinct.  He 
seemed  quite  shocked  at  my  indifference  for  such  near  kindred,  and 
told  me  bluntly,  with  his  coarse  shopman's  familiarity,  "  Methinks 
you  might  have  shown  more  heartiness  and  natural  feeling  for  your 
kinsfolk!  Why,  you  ask  after  them  just  as  if  they  were  vermin  ! 
Your  father  and  mother  are  still  at  service  ;  take  that  in  your  dish ! 
And  the  good  canon,  Gil  Perez,  eaten  up  with  gout,  rheumatism, 
and  old  age,  has  one  foot  in  the  grave.  People  should  feel  as  people 
ought;  and  seeing  that  you  are  in  a  berth  to  be  a  blessing  to  your 
poor  parents,  take  a  friend's  advice,  and  allow  them  two  hundred 
pistoles  a  year.  That  will  be  doing  a  handsome  thing,  and  making 
them  comfortable  ;  and  then  you  may  spend  the  rest  upon  yourself 
l?ith  a  good  conscience."  Instead  of  being  softened  by  this  family 
picture,  I  only  resented  the  officiousness  of  unasked  advice.  A  more 
delicate  and  covert  remonstrance  might  perhaps  have  made  its  im- 
pression, but  so  bold  a  rebuke  only  hardened  my  heart.  My  sulky 
silence  was  not  lost  upon  him,  so  that  while  he  moralized  himself 
out  of  charity  into  downright  abuse,  my  choler  began  to  overflow. 
"  Nay,  then  1  this  is  too  much,"  answered  I,  in  a  devil  of  a  passion. 
"  Get  about  your  business,  Master  Muscada,  and  mind  your  own 
shop.  You  are  a  pretty  fellow  to  preach  to  me  I  As  if  I  were  to  be 
taught  my  duty  by  you  1"  Without  further  parley  I  handed  the 
grocer  out  of  my  closet  by  the  shoulder,  and  sent  him  off  to  weigh 
figs  and  nutmegs  at  Oviedo. 

The  home-strokes  he  had  laid  on  were  not  lost  to  my  sober  recol- 
lection. My  neglect  of  filial  piety  struck  home  to  my  heart,  and 
melted  me  into  tears.  When  I  recollected  how  much  my  childhood 
was  indebted  to  my  parents,  what  pain*  they  had  taken  in  my  edu- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  471 

cation,  these  affecting  thoughts  gave  language  for  the  moment  to  the 
still  small  voice  of  nature  and  gratitude  ;  but  the  language  was  never 
translated  into  solid  sense  and  service.  An  habitual  callousness 
succeeded  this  transient  sensation,  and  peremptorily  cancelled  every 
obligation  of  humanity.  There  are  many  fathers  besides  mine  who 
will  acknowledge  this  portrait  of  their  sons. 

Avarice  and  ambition,  dividing  me  between  them,  annihilated 
every  trace  of  my  former  temper.  I  lost  all  my  gayety,  became 
absent  and  moping ;  in  short,  a  most  unsociable  animal.  Fabricio, 
seeing  me  so  furiously  bent  on  accumulation,  and  so  perfectly  indif- 
ferent to  him,  very  rarely  came  to  see  me.  He  could  not  help  say- 
ing one  day,  "  In  truth,  Gil  Bias,  you  are  quite  an  altered  man. 
Before  you  were  about  the  court,  you  were  always  pleasant  and 
easy.  Now  you  are  all  agitation  and  turmoil.  You  form  project 
after  project  to  make  a  fortune,  and  the  more  you  realize,  the  wider 
your  views  of  aggrandizement  extend.  But  this  is  not  the  worst ! 
You  have  no  longer  that  expansion  of  heart,  those  open  manners, 
which  form  the  charm  of  friendship.  On  the  contrary,  you  wrap 
yourself  round,  and  shut  the  avenues  of  your  heart  even  to  me.  In 
your  very  civilities  I  detect  the  violence  you  impose  upon  your- 
self. In  short,  Gil  Bias  is  no  longer  the  same  Gil  Bias  whom  I  once 
knew." 

"  You  really  have  a  most  happy  talent  for  bantering,"  answered 
I,  with  repulsive  jocularity.  "  But  this  metamorphose  into  the  shag 
of  a  savage  is  not  perceptible  to  myself."  "Your  own  eyes,"  replied 
he,  "  are  insensible  to  the  change,  because  they  are  fascinated.  But 
the  fact  remains  the  same.  Now,  my  friend,  tell  me  fairly  and 
honestly,  shall  we  live  together  as  heretofore?  When  I  used  to 
knock  at  your  door  in  the  morning,  you  came  and  opened  it  your- 
self, between  asleep  and  awake,  and  I  walked  in  without  ceremony. 
Now,  what  a  difference  1  You  have  an  establishment  of  servants. 
They  keep  me  cooling  my  heels  in  your  antechamber ;  my  name 
must  be  sent  in  before  I  can  speak  to  you.  When  this  is  got  over, 
what  is  my  reception?  A  cold  inclination  of  the  head,  and  the  in- 
solent strut  of  office.  Any  one  would  suppose  that  my  visits  were 
growing  troublesome  !  Can  you  suppose  this  to  be  treatment  for  a 
man  who  was  once  on  equal  terms  with  you?  No,  Santillane,  it  can 
never  be,  nor  will  I  bear  it  longer.  Farewell.  Let  us  part  without 
ill  blood.  We  shall  both  be  better  asunder ;  you  will  get  rid  of  a 
troublesome  censor,  and  I  of  a  purse-proud  upstart  who  does  not 
know  himself." 

I  felt  myself  more  exasperated  than  reformed  by  his  reproaches, 
and  suffered  him  to  take  his  departure  without  the  slightest  effort 
to  overcome  his  resolution.    In  the  present  temper  of  my  mind,  the 


472 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


friendsliip  of  a  poet  did  not  seem  a  catch  of  sufficient  importance 
to  break  one's  heart  about  its  loss.  I  found  ample  amends  in  the 
intimacy  of  some  subaltern  attendants  upon  the  king's  person,  with 
whom  a  similarity  of  humor  had  lately  connected  me  closely.  These 
new  acquaintances  of  mine  were  for  the  most  part  men  from  no  one 
knows  where,  pushed  up  to  their  appointments  more  by  luck  than 
merit.  They  had  all  got  into  warm  berths,,  and,  wretches  as  they 
were,  measuring  their  own  consequence  by  the  excess  of  royal 
bounty,  forgot  their  origin  as  scandalously  as  I  forgot  mine.  We 
gave  ourselves  infinite  credit  for  what  told  so  much  and  bitterly  to 
our  disgrace.  O  Fortune  1  what  a  jade  you  are,  to  distribute  your 
favors  at  hap-hazard  as  you  dol  Epictetus  was  perfectly  in  the 
right  when  he  likened  you  to  a  jilt  of  fashion,  prowling  about  in 
masquerade,  and  tipping  the  wink  to  every  blackguard  who  parades 
the  street. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  473 


BOOK   IX. 


CHAPTER  I. 

scipio's  scheme  of  makeiage  for  gil  blas.     the  match,  a  rich 
goldsmith's  daughter. 

ONE  evening,  on  the  departure  of  my  supper  company,  finding 
myself  alone  with  Scipio,  I  asked  him  what  he  had  been 
doing  that  day.  "  Striking  a  master-stroke,"  answered  he.  "  I 
intend  that  you  shall  marry.  A  goldsmith  of  my  acquaintance 
has  an  only  daughter,  and  I  mean  to  make  up  a  match  between 
you  " 

"A  goldsmith's  daughter !"  exclaimed  I,  with  a  disdainful  air ; 
"  are  you  out  of  your  senses  ?  Can  you  think  of  tying  me  up  to  a 
trinket-maker?  People  of  a  certain  character  in  society,  and  on  a 
certain  footing  at  court,  ought  to  have  much  higher  views  of  things." 
"  Pardon  me,  sir,"  rejoined  Scipio ;  "  do  not  take  the  subject  up  in 
that  light.  Eecollect  that  nobility  accrues  by  the  male  side,  and  do 
not  ride  a  higher  horse  than  a  thousand  jockeys  of  quality  whom  I 
could  name.  Do  you  know  that  the  heiress  in  question  will  bring 
a  hundred  thousand  ducats  in  her  pocket  ?  Is  not  that  a  pretty 
little  sprig  of  jewelry?"  To  the  resounding  echo  of  so  large  a  sum 
my  ears  were  instantly  symphonious.  "  The  day  is  your  own,"  said 
I  to  the  secretary ;  "  the  fortune  determines  the  case  in  the  lady's 
favor.  When  do  you  mean  to  put  me  in  possession  ?"  "  Fair  and 
softly,  sir,"  answered  he ;  "  the  more  haste,  the  worse  speed  It  will 
be  necessary  for  me  first  to  communicate  the  afiair  to  the  father,  and 
instill  the  advantage  of  it  into  his  capacity."  "  Good !"  rejoined  I, 
with  a  burst  of  laughter ;  "  is  it  thereabouts  you  are  ?  The  match 
is  far  advanced  in  its  progress  towards  consummation."  "  Much 
nearer  than  you  suppose,"  replied  he.  "  But  one  hour's  conversa- 
tion with  the  goldsmith,  and  I  pledge  myself  for  his  consent.  But, 
before  we  go  any  farther,  let  us  come  to  an  agreement,  if  you  please. 
Supposing  that  I  should  transfer  a  hundred  thousand  ducats  to  you, 
what  would  my  commission  be  ?"  "  Twenty  thousand  1"  was  my 
answer.  "  Heaven  be  praised  -therefor,"  said  he.  "  I  guessed  your 
gratitude  at  ten  thousand  ;  so  that  it  doubles  mine  in  a  similar 
case.  Come  on  then  I  I  will  set  this  negotiation  on  foot  to-morrow 
morning ;  and  you  may  count  upon  its  success,  or  I  am  little  better  ' 
than  one  of  the  foolish  ones." 


474  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Two  days  afterwards  he  said  to  me,  "  I  have  spoken  to  Signor 
Gabriel  Salero,  my  friend  the  goldsmith.  On  the  loud  report  of 
your  high  desert  and  credit,  he  has  lent  a  favorable  ear  to  my  offer 
of  you  for  a  son-in-law.  You  are  to  have  his  daughter  with  a  hun- 
dred thousand  ducats,  provided  you  can  make  it  appear  clearly  that 
you  are  in  possession  of  the  minister's  good  graces."  "  Since  that  is 
the  case,"  said  I  confidently  to  Scipio,  "  I  shall  soon  be  married. 
But,  not  entirely  to  forget  the  girl,  have  you  seen  her?  Is  she 
pretty  ?"  "  Not  quite  so  pretty  as  her  fortune,"  answered  he.  "  Be- 
tween ourselves,  this  heiress's  looks  are  as  hard  as  her  cash.  Luckily, 
you  are  perfectly  indifferent  about  that."  "  Stone  blind,  by  the  light 
of  the  sun,  my  good  fellow!"  replied  I.  "As  for  us  whimsical  fel- 
lows about  court,  we  marry  merely  for  the  sake  of  marrying.  When 
we  want  beauty,  we  look  for  it  in  our  friends'  wives  ;  and  if,  by  fates 
and  destinies,  the  sweets  are  wasted  on  our  own,  their  flavor  is  so 
mawkish  to  our  palate,  that  there  is  some  merit  in  their  not  carrying 
the  commodity  to  a  foreign  market." 

"This  is  not  all,"  resumed  Scipio:  "Signor  Gabriel  hopes  for  the 
pleasure  of  your  company  to  supper  this  evening.  By  agreement, 
there  is  to  be  no  mention  of  marriage.  He  has  invited  several  of 
his  mercantile  friends  to  this  entertainment,  where  you  will  take 
your  chance  with  the  rest,  and  to-morrow  he  means  to  sup  with  you 
on  the  same  terms.  By  this  you  will  perceive  his  drift  of  looking 
before  he  leaps.  You  will  do  well  to  be  a  little  on  your  guard  be- 
fore him."  "  O,  for  the  matter  of  that,"  interrupted  I,  with  an  air 
of  confidence,  "  let  him  scrutinize  me  as  closely  as  he  pleases,  the 
result  cannot  fail  to  be  in  my  favor." 

All  this  happened  as  it  was  foretold.  I  was  introduced  at  the 
goldsmith's,  who  received  me  with  the  familiarity  of  an  old  ac- 
quaintance. A  vulgar  dog,  but  warm ;  and  as  troublesome  with  his 
civility  as  a  prude  with  her  virtue.  He  presented  me  to  Signora 
Eugenia  his  wife,  and  the  youthful  Gabriela  his  daughter.  I  opened 
wide  my  budget  of  compliments,  without  infringing  the  treaty, 
and  prattled  soft  nothings  to  them,  in  all  the  vacuity  of  courtly 
dialogue. 

Gabriela,  with  submission  to  my  secretary's  better  taste,  was  not 
altogether  so  repulsive,  whether  by  dint  of  being  outrageously  be- 
dizened, or  because  I  looked  at  her  in  the  raree-show  box  of  her  for- 
tune. A  charming  house  this  of  Signor  Gabriel !  There  is  less 
silver,  I  verily  believe,  in  the  Peruvian  mines,  than  under  his  roof. 
That  metal  presented  itself  to  the  view  in  all  directions,  under  a 
thousand  different  forms.  Every  room,  and  especially  that  where  we 
were  entertained,  was  a  fairy  palace.  What  a  bird's-eye  view  for  a 
son-in-law  !    The  old  codger,  to  do  the  thing  genteelly,  had  collected 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  475 

five  or  six  merchants  about  him,  all  plodding,  spirit-wearing  person- 
ages. Their  tongues  could  only  talk  of  what  their  hearts  were  set 
upon  :  it  was  high  change  all  supper-time ;  but  unfortunately  wit 
was  at  a  discount. 

Next  night  it  was  my  turn  to  treat  the  goldsmith.  Not  being  able 
to  dazzle  him  with  my  sideboard,  I  had  recourse  to  another  artifice. 
I  invited  to  supper  such  of  my  friends  as  made  the  finest  figure  at 
court;  hangers-on  of  state,  noted  for  the  unwieldiness  of  their  am- 
bition. These  fellows  could  not  talk  on  common  topics :  the  brilliant 
and  lucrative  posts  at  which  they  aimed  were  all  canvassed  in  de- 
tail ;  this  too  made  its  way.  Poor  counting-house  Gabriel,  in  amaze- 
ment at  the  loftiness  of  their  ideas,  shrunk  into  insignificance,  in 
spite  of  all  his  hoards,  on  a  comparison  with  these  wonderful  men. 
As  for  me,  in  all  the  plausibility  of  moderation,  I  professed  to  wish 
for  nothing  more  than  a  comfortable  fortune ;  a  snug  box  and  a  com- 
petence :  whereupon  these  gluttons  of  the  loaves  and  fishes  cried  out 
with  one  voice  that  I  was  wrong,  absolutely  criminal ;  for  the  prime 
minister  would  do  anything  upon  earth  for  me,  and  it  was  an  act  of 
duty  to  anoint  my  fingers  with  bird-lime.  My  honored  papa  lost 
not  a  word  of  all  this,  and  seemed,  at  going  away,  to  take  his  leave 
with  some  complacency. 

Scipio  went,  of  course,  the  next  morning,  to  ask  him  how  he  liked 
me.  "  Extremely  well  indeed,"  answered  the  knight  of  the  ledger ; 
"  the  lad  has  won  my  very  heart.  But,  good  master  Scipio,  I  con- 
jure you  by  our  long  acquaintance  to  deal  with  me  as  a  true  friend. 
We  have  all  our  weak  side,  as  you  well  know.  Tell  me  where  Sig- 
nor  de  Santillane  is  fallible.  Is  he  fond  of  play  ?  Does  he  wench  ? 
On  what  lay  are  his  snug  little  vices?  Do  not  fight  shy,  I  beseech 
you."  "  It  is  very  unkind,  Signor  Gabriel,  to  put  such  a  question," 
retorted  the  go-between.  "  Your  interest  is  more  to  me  than  my 
master's.  If  he  has  any  slippery  propensities,  likely  to  make  your 
daughter  unhappy,  would  I  ever  have  proposed  him  as  a  son-in-law  ? 
The  deuce  a  bit !  I  am  too  much  at  your  service.  But,  between 
ourselves,  he  has  but  one  fault — that  of  being  faultless.  He  is  too 
wise  for  a  young  man."  "So  much  the  better,"  replied  the  gold- 
smith ;  "  he  is  the  more  like  me.  You  may  go,  my  friend,  and  tell 
him  he  shall  have  my  daughter,  and  should  have  her  though  he 
knew  no  more  of  the  minister  than  I  do." 

As  soon  as  my  secretary  had  reported  this  conversation,  I  flew  to 
thank  Salero  for  his  partiality.  He  had  already  told  his  mind  to 
his  wife  and  daughter,  who  gave  me  to  understand,  by  their  recep- 
tion, that  they  yielded  without  disgust.  I  carried  my  father-in-law 
to  the  Duke  of  Lerma.  whom  I  had  informed  the  evening  before, 
and  presented  him  with  due  ceremony.    His  excellency  gave  him  a 


476  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

most  gracious  reception,  and  congratulated  him  on  having  chosen  a 
man  for  his  son-in-law  for  whom  he  himself  had  so  great  a  regard, 
and  meant  to  do  such  great  things.  Then  did  he  expatiate  on  my 
good  qualities,  and,  in  fact,  said  so  much  to  my  honor,  that  honest 
Gabriel  thought  he  had  met  with  the  best  match  in  Spain.  His  joy 
oozed  out  at  his  eyes.  On  parting,  he  pressed  me  in  his  arms,  and 
said,  "My  son,  I  am  so  impatient  to  see  you  Gabriela's  husband, 
that  the  affair  shall  be  finally  settled  within  a  week  at  latest." 


CHAPTER   II. 


GIL    BLAS   EEMEMBEES  DON  ALPHONSO  DE  LEYVA,  AND    BENDERS   HIM 
A  SERVICE   FROM   MOTIVES  OF  VANITY. 

LET  US  leave  my  marriage  to  take  care  of  itself  for  a  season. 
The  order  of  events  requires  me  to  recount  a  service  rendered 
tc  my  old  master  Don  Alphonso.  I  had  entirely  forgotten  that 
gentleman's  existence ;  but  a  circumstance  recalled  it  to  my  recol- 
lection. 

The  government  of  Valencia  became  vacant  at  this  time,  and  put 
me  in  mind  of  Don  Alphonso  de  Leyva.  I  considered  within  myself 
that  the  employment  would  suit  him  to  a  nicety,  and  determined  to 
apply  for  it  on  his  behalf,  not  so  much  out  of  friendship  as  ostenta- 
tion. If  I  could  but  procure  it  for  him,  it  would  do  me  infinite 
honor.  I  told  the  Duke  of  Lerma  that  I  had  been  steward  to  Don 
Caesar  de  Leyva  and  his  son,  and  that,  having  every  reason  in  the 
world  to  feel  myself  obliged  to  them,  I  should  take  it  as  a  favor  if 
he  would  give  the  government  of  Valencia  to  one  or  other  of  them. 
The  minister  answered,  "  Most  willingly,  Gil  Bias.  I  love  to  see 
you  grateful  and  generous.  Besides,  the  family  stands  very  high 
in  my  esteem.  The  Leyvas  are  loyal  subjects ;  so  that  the  place 
cannot  be  better  bestowed.  You  may  take  it  as  a  wedding  present, 
and  do  what  you  like  with  it." 

Delighted  at  the  success  of  my  application,  I  went  to  Calderona 
in  a  prodigious  hurry,  to  get  the  patent  made  out  for  Don  Alphonso. 
There  was  a  great  crowd  waiting  in  respectful  silence  till  Don  Rod- 
rigo  should  come  and  give  audience.  I  made  my  way  through,  and 
the  closet  door  opened  as  if  by  sympathy.  There  were  no  one  knows 
how  many  military  and  civil  oflScers,  with  other  people  of  conse- 
quence, among  whom  Calderona  was  dividing  his  attentions.    His 


ADVENTUMES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  477 

different  reception  of  different  people  was  curious.  A  slight  incli- 
nation of  the  head  was  enough  for  some ;  others  he  honored  with 
a  profusion  of  courtly  grimace,  and  bowed  them  out  of  the  closet. 
The  proportions  of  civility  were  weighed  to  a  scruple.  On  the  other 
hand,  there  were  some  suitors  who,  shocked  at  his  cold  indifference, 
cursed  in  their  secret  soul  the  necessity  for  their  cringing  before 
such  a  monkey  of  an  idol.  Others,  on  the  contrary,  were  laughing 
in  their  sleeve  at  his  gross  and  self-sufficient  air.  But  the  scene 
was  thrown  away  upon  me ;  nor  was  I  likely  to  profit  by  such  a 
lesson.  It  was  exactly  the  counterpart  of  my  own  behavior ;  and 
I  never  thought  of  ascertaining  whether  my  deportment  was  popular 
or  offensive,  so  long  as  there  was  no  violation  of  outward  respect. 

Don  Rodrigo,  accidentally  casting  a  look  towards  me,  left  a  gentle- 
man, to  whom  he  was  speaking,  without  ceremony,  and  came  to  pay 
his  respects  with  the  most  unaccountable  tokens  of  high  consider- 
ation. "  Ah,  my  dear  colleague !"  exclaimed  he,  "  what  occasion 
procures  me  the  pleasure  of  seeing  you  here?  Is  there  anything 
we  can  do  for  you  ?"  I  told  him  my  business  ;  whereupon  he  assured 
me,  in  the  most  obliging  terms,  that  the  affair  should  be  expedited 
within  four-and-twenty  hours.  Not  satisfied  with  these  overwhelm- 
ing condescensions,  he  conducted  me  to  the  door  of  his  antechamber, 
whither  he  never  attended  any  but  the  nobility  of  first  rank.  His 
farewell  was  as  flattering  as  his  reception. 

"What  is  the  meaning  of  all  this  palaver?"  said  I,  while  retreat- 
ing ;  "  has  any  raven  croaked  my  entrance,  and  prophesied  promo- 
tion to  Calderona  by  my  overthrow  ?  Does  he  really  languish  for 
my  friendship?  or  does  he  feel  the  ground  giving  way  under  his 
feet,  and  wish  to  save  himself  by  clinging  to  the  branches  of  my 
favor  and  protection  ?"  It  seemed  a  moot  point  which  of  these  con- 
jectures might  be  the  right.  The  following  day,  on  my  return,  his 
behavior  was  of  the  same  stamp ;  caresses  and  civilities  poured  in 
upon  me  in  torrents.  It  is  true  that  other  people,  who  attempted 
to  speak  to  him,  were  ruraped  in  exact  proportion  with  the  blandish- 
ments of  his  face  towards  me.  He  snarled  at  some,  petrified  others, 
and  made  the  whole  circle  run  the  gantlet  of  his  displeasure.  But 
they  were  all  amply  avenged  by  an  occurrence,  the  relation  of  which 
may  give  a  gentle  hint  to  all  the  clerks  and  secretaries  on  the  list  of 
my  readers. 

A  man  very  plainly  dressed,  and  certainly  not  looking  at  all  like 
what  he  was,  came  up  to  Calderona,  and  spoke  to  him  about  a 
memorial  stated  to  have  been  presented  by  himself  to  the  Duke  of 
Lerma.  Don  Rodrigo,  without  looking  from  his  clothes  up  to  his 
face,  said  in  a  sharp,  ungracious  tone,  "  Who  may  you  happen  to 
be,  honest  man  ?"    "  They  called  me  Francillo  in  my  childhood," 


478  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

auswered  the  stranger,  unabashed ;  "  my  next  style  and  title  was 
that  of  Don  Francillo  de  Zuniga ;  and  niy  present  name  is  the  Count 
de  Pedrosa."  Calderona  was  all  in  a  twitter  at  this  discovery,  and 
attempted  to  stammer  out  an  excuse,  when  he  found  that  he  had  to 
do  with  a  man  of  the  first  quality,  "  Sir,"  said  he  to  the  count,  "  I 
have  to  beg  you  ten  thousand  pardons ;  but  not  knowing  whom  I 
had  the  honor  to "  ..."  I  want  none  of  your  apologies,"  inter- 
rupted Francillo,  with  proud  indignation ;  "  they  are  as  nauseous 
as  your  rudeness  was  unbecoming.  Recollect  henceforth  that  a 
minister's  secretary  ought  to  receive  all  descriptions  of  people  with 
good  manners.  You  may  be  vain  enough  to  affect  the  representative 
of  your  master,  but  the  public  know  you  for  his  menial  servant." 

The  haughty  Don  Rodrigo  blushed  blue  at  this  rebuke.  Yet  it 
did  not  mend  his  manners  one  whit.  On  me  it  made  a  salutary 
impression.  I  determined  to  take  care  and  ascertain  the  rank  of 
my  petitioners  before  I  gave  a  loose  to  the  insolence  of  oflBce,  and 
to  inflict  torture  only  upon  mutes.  As  Don  Alphonso's  patent  was 
made  out,  I  sent  it  by  a  special  messenger,  with  a  letter  from  the 
Duke  of  Lerma,  announcing  the  royal  favor.  But  I  took  no  notice 
of  my  own  share  in  the  appointment,  nor  even  accompanied  it  with 
a  line,  in  the  fond  hope  of  announcing  it  by  word  of  mouth,  and 
surprising  him  agreeably,  when  he  came  to  court  on  occasion  of 
taking  the  customary  oaths. 


CHAPTER  III. 

PREPAEATIONS  FOB  THE  MARRIAGE  OF  GIL  BLAS.     A  SPOKE  IK  THK 
WHEEL  OF  HYMEN. 

AND  now  once  more  for  my  lovely  Gabriela !  We  were  to  be 
married  in  a  week.  Preparations  were  making  on  both  sides 
for  the  ceremony.  Salero  ordered  a  rich  wardrobe  for  the  bride, 
and  I  hired  a  waiting-woman  for  her,  a  footman,  and  a  gentleman 
usher  of  decent  aspect  and  advanced  years.  The  whole  establish- 
ment was  provided  by  Scipio,  who  longed  more  ardently  than  my- 
self for  the  hour  when  we  were  to  be  fingering  the  fortune. 

On  the  evening  before  the  happy  day,  I  was  supping  with  my 
father-in-law,  the  rest  of  the  company  being  made  up  of  uncles, 
aunts,  and  cousins,  of  either  sex  and  every  degree.  The  part  of  a 
Bupple-visaged  son-in-law  sat  upon  me  to  perfection.     Nothing 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  479 

could  exceed  my  profound  respect  for  the  goldsmith  and  his  wife, 
or  the  transports  of  my  passion  at  Gabriela's  feet,  while  I  smoothed 
my  way  into  the  graces  of  the  family,  by  listening  with  impregnable 
patience  to  their  witless  repartees  and  irrational  ratiocinations. 
Thus  did  I  gain  the  great  end  of  all  my  forbearance — the  pleasure 
of  pleasing  my  new  relations.  Every  individual  of  the  clan  felt 
himself  a  foot  taller  for  the  honor  of  my  alliance. 

The  repast  ended,  the  company  moved  into  a  large  room,  where 
we  were  entertained  with  a  concert  of  vocal  and  instrumental  music, 
not  the  worst  that  was  ever  heard,  though  the  performers  were  not 
selected  from  the  choicest  bands  of  Madrid.  Some  lively  airs  put 
US  in  mind  of  dancing.  Heaven  knows  what  sort  of  performers  we 
must  have  been,  when  they  took  me  for  the  coryphaeus  of  the  opera, 
though  I  never  had  but  two  or  three  lessons  from  a  petty  dancing- 
master,  who  taught  the  pages  on  the  establishment  of  the  Mar- 
chioness de  Chaves.  After  we  had  tired  our  tendons,  it  was  time  to 
think  of  going  home.  There  was  no  end  of  my  bows  and  God  bless 
you's.  "  Farewell,  my  dear  son-in-law  !"  said  Salero,  as  he  squeezed 
my  hand ;  "  I  shall  be  at  your  house  in  the  morning  with  the  por- 
tion in  ready  money."  "  You  will  be  welcome,  come  when  you 
list,  my  dear  father-in-law,"  answered  I.  Afterwards,  wishing  the 
family  good-night,  I  jumped  into  my  carriage,  and  ordered  it  to 
drive  home. 

Scarcely  had  I  got  two  hundred  yards  from  Signor  Gabriel's 
house,  when  fifteen  or  twenty  men,  some  on  foot  and  some  on 
horseback,  all  with  swords  and  firearms,  surrounded  and  stopped 
the  coach,  crying  out,  "In  the  name  of  our  sovereign  lord  the 
king  1"  They  dragged  me  out  by  main  force,  and  thrust  me  into  a 
hack-chaise,  when  the  leader  of  the  party  got  in  with  me,  and 
ordered  the  driver  to  go  for  Segovia.  There  could  be  no  doubt  but 
the  honest  gentleman  by  my  side  was  an  alguazil.  I  wanted  to  know 
something  abou£  the  cause  of  my  arrest ;  but  he  answered  in  the 
language  of  those  gentry,  which  is  very  bad  language,  that  he  had 
other  things  to  do  than  to  satisfy  my  impertinent  curiosity.  I 
suggested  that  Ive  might  have  mistaken  his  man.  "  No,  no,"  re- 
torted he :  "  the  fool  is  wiser  than  that.  You  are  Signor  de  Santil- 
lune,  and  in  that  case  you  are  to  go  along  with  me."  Not  being  able 
to  deny  that  fact,  it  became  an  act  of  prudence  to  hold  my  tongue. 
For  the  remainder  of  the  night  we  traversed  Mancanarez  in  sulky 
silence,  changed  horses  at  Colmenar,  and  arrived  the  next  evening 
at  Segovia,  where  the  lodging  provided  for  me  was  in  the  tower. 


480  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 


CHAPTEK    IV. 

THE  TBR4.TMENT  OF  GIL  BLAS  IN  THE  TOWER  OF  SEGOVIA.     THE 
CAUSE  OF  HIS  IMPRISONMENT. 

THEIR  first  favor  was  to  clap  me  iu  a  cell,  where  they  left  me 
on  the  straw  like  a  criminal,  whose  only  earthly  portion  was 
to  con  over  his  dying  speech  in  solitude.  I  passed  the  night,  not  in 
bewailing  my  fate, — for  it  had  not  yet  presented  itself  in  all  its 
aggravation, — but  in  endeavoring  to  divine  its  cause.  Doubtless  it 
must  have  been  Calderona's  handiwork.  And  yet,  though  his 
branching  honors  might  have  pressed  thick  upon  his  senses,  I  could 
not  conceive  how  the  Duke  of  Lerma  could  have  been  induced  to 
treat  me  so  inhumanly  Sometimes  I  apprehended  my  arrest  to 
have  been  without  his  excellency's  knowledge ;  at  other  times  I 
thought  him  the  contriver  of  it,  for  some  political  reasons,  such  as 
weigh  with  ministers  when  they  sacrifice  their  accomplices  at  the 
shrine  of  state  policy. 

My  mind  was  vibrating  to  and  fro  with  these  various  conjectures, 
when  the  dawn,  peeping  in  at  my  little  grated  window,  presented  to 
my  sight  all  the  horror  of  the  place  where  I  was  confined.  Then 
did  I  vent  my  sorrows  without  ceasing,  and  my  eyes  became  two 
springs  of  tears,  flowing  inexhaustibly  at  the  remembrance  of  my 
prosperous  state.  Pending  this  paroxysm  of  grief,  a  turnkey  brought 
me  my  day's  allowance  of  bread  and  water.  He  looked  at  me,  and 
on  the  contemplation  of  my  tear-besprinkled  visage,  jailer  as  he 
was,  there  came  over  him  a  sentiment  of  pity  :  "  Do  not  despair," 
said  he.  "  This  life  is  full  of  crosses,  but  mind  them  not,  You  are 
young ;  after  these  days,  you  will  live  to  see  better.  In  the  mean- 
time, eat  at  the  king's  mess  with  what  appetite  you  may." 

My  comforter  withdrew  with  this  quaint  invitation,  answered  by 
my  groans  and  tears.  The  rest  of  the  day  was  spent  in  cursing  my 
wayward  destiny,  without  thinking  of  my  empty  stomach.  As  for 
the  royal  morsel,  it  seemed  more  like  the  message  of  wrath  than 
the  boon  of  benevolence  ;  the  tantalizing  protraction  of  pain,  rather 
than  the  solace  of  affliction. 

Night  came,  and  with  it  the  rattle  of  a  key  in  my  keyhole.  My 
dungeon  door  opened,  and  in  came  a  man  with  a  wax-light  in  his 
hand.  He  advanced  towards  me,  saying,  "Signor  Gil  Bias,  behold 
in  me  one  of  your  old  friends.  I  am  Don  Andrew  de  Tordesillas, 
in  the  Archbishop  of  Granada's  service  while  you  enjoyed  that  pre- 
late's favor.  You  may  recollect  engaging  his  interest  in  my  behalf, 
and  thereby  procuring  me  a  post  in  Mexico ;  but  instead  of  em- 


I 


ADVENTUMES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  481 

barking  for  the  Indies,  I  stopped  in  the  town  of  Alicant.  There  I 
married  the  governor's  daughter,  and  by  a  series  of  adventures  of 
which  you  shall  hereafter  have  the  particulars,  I  am  now  warden  of 
this  tower.  It  is  expressly  forbidden  me  to  let  you  speak  to  any 
living  soul,  to  give  you  any  better  bed  than  straw,  or  any  other  sus- 
tenance than  bread  and  water.  But  besides  that  your  misfortunes 
interest  my  humanity,  you  have  done  me  service,  and  gratitude 
countervails  the  harshness  of  my  orders.  They  think  to  make  me 
the  instrument  of  their  cruelty,  but  it  is  my  better  purpose  to  soften 
the  rigor  of  your  captivity,     Get  up  and  follow  me." 

Though  my  humane  keeper  was  entitled  to  some  acknowledgment, 
my  spirits  were  so  affected  as  to  interdict  my  speech.  All  I  could 
do  was  to  attend  him.  We  crossed  a  court,  and  mounted  a  narrow 
staircase  to  a  little  room  at  the  top  of  the  tower.  It  was  no  small 
surprise,  on  entering,  to  find  a  table,  with  lights  on  it,  neatly  set  out 
with  covers  for  two,  "  They  will  serve  up  immediately,"  said  Tor- 
desillas.  "  We  are  going  to  sup  together.  This  snug  retreat  is  ap- 
pointed for  your  lodging ,  it  will  agree  better  with  you  than  your 
cell.  From  your  window  you  will  look  down  on  the  flowery  banks 
of  the  Erema,  and  the  delicious  vale  of  Coca,  bounded  by  the  moun- 
tains which  divide  the  two  Castilles,  At  first  you  will  care  little  for 
the  prospects  ,  but  when  time  shall  have  softened  your  keener  sen- 
sations into  a  composed  melancholy,  it  will  be  a  pleasure  to  feast 
your  eyes  on  such  engaging  scenes.  Then,  as  for  linen  and  other 
necessaries  befitting  a  man  accustomed  to  the  comforts  of  life,  they 
shall  be  always  at  your  service.  Your  bed  and  board  shall  be  such 
as  you  could  wish,  with  a  plentiful  supply  of  books.  In  a  word, 
you  shall  have  everything  but  your  liberty  " 

My  spirits  were  a  little  tranquillized  by  these  obliging  offers.  I 
took  courage,  and  returned  my  best  thanks,  assuring  him  that  his 
generous  conduct  restored  me  to  life,  and  that  I  hoped  at  some  time 
or  other  to  find  an  opportunity  of  testifying  my  gratitude.  "  To  be 
sure;  and  why  should  you  not?"  answered  he.  "Did  you  fancy 
yourself  a  prisoner  for  life  ?  Nothing  less  likely  !  and  I  would  lay 
a  wager  that  you  will  be  released  in  a  very  few  months."  "What 
say  you,  Signor  Don  Andrew?"  exclaimed  I.  "Then  surely  you 
are  acquainted  with  the  occasion  of  my  misfortune."  "  You  guess 
rightly,"  replied  he.  *  "  The  alguazil  who  brought  you  hither  told  me 
the  whole  story  in  confidence.  The  king,  hearing  that  the  Count  de 
Lemos  and  you  were  in  the  habit  of  escorting  the  Prince  of  Spain 
by  night  to  a  house  of  a  suspicious  character,  as  a  punishment  for 
your  loose  morals  has  banished  the  count,  and  sent  you  hither,  to 
be  treated  in  the  style  of  which  you  have  had  a  specimen."  "And 
how,"  said  I,  "did  that  circumstance  come  to  the  king's  knowledge? 
31 


482  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

That  is  what  I  am  most  curious  to  ascertain."  "  And  that,"  an- 
swered he,  "  is  precisely  what  the  alguazil  did  not  tell,  apparently 
because  he  did  not  know," 

At  this  epoch  of  our  conversation,  the  servants  brought  in  supper. 
When  everything  was  set  in  order,  Tordesillaa  sent  away  the  attend- 
ants, not  wishing  our  conversation  to  be  overheard.  He  shut  the 
door,  and  we  took  our  seats  opposite  to  each  other,  "  Let  us  say 
grace,  and  fall  to,"  said  he.  "  Your  appetite  ought  to  be  good  after 
two  days  of  fasting."  Under  this  impression  he  loaded  my  plate 
as  if  he  had  been  cramming  the  craw  of  a  starveling.  In  fact, 
nothing  was  more  likely  than  that  I  should  play  the  devil  among 
the  ragouts;  but  what  is  likely  does,  not  always  happen.  Though 
my  intestines  were  yearning  for  support,  their  staple  stuck  in  my 
throat,  for  my  heart  loathed  all  pleasurable  indulgence  in  the  pre- 
sent state  of  my  affairs.  In  vain  did  my  warden,  to  drive  away  the 
blue  devils,  pledge  me  continually,  and  expatiate  on  the  excellence 
of  his  wine ;  imperishable  nectar  would  have  been  pricked,  accord- 
ing to  the  fastidious  report  of  my  palate.  This  being  the  case,  he 
went  another  way  to  work,  and  told  me  the  story  of  his  marriage, 
with  as  much  humor  as  such  a  subject  would  admit.  Here  he  was 
still  less  successful.  So  wandering  was  my  attention,  that  before  the 
end,  I  had  forgotten  the  beginning  and  the  middle.  At  length  he 
was  convinced  that  there  was  no  diverting  my  gloomy  thoughts  for 
that  evening.  After  finishing  his  solitary  supper,  he  rose  from  table, 
saying,  "  Signor  de  Santillane,  I  shall  leave  you  to  your  repose,  or 
rather  to  the  free  indulgence  of  your  own  reveries.  But,  take  my 
word  for  it,  your  misfortune  will  not  be  of  long  continuance.  The 
king  is  naturally  good.  When  his  anger  shall  have  passed  away, 
and  your  deplorable  estate  shall  occur  to  his  milder  thoughts,  your 
punishment  will  appear  sufficient  in  his  eyes."  With  these  words, 
my  kind-hearted  jailer  went  down  stairs,  and  sent  the  servants  to 
take  away.  Not  even  the  brass  candlesticks  were  left  behind  ;  and 
I  went  to  bed  by  the  palpable  darkness  of  a  glimmering  lamp  sus- 
pended against  the  wall. 


ALVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  483 


CHAPTER  V. 

HIS  REFLECTIONS  BEFORE  HE  WENT  TO  SLEEP    THAT  NIGHT,  AND  THE 
NOISE  THAT  WAKED  HIM. 

TWO  hours  at  least  were  my  thoughts  employed  on  what  Tor- 
desillas  had  told  me.  "  Here  then  am  I,  for  having  lent  myself 
to  the  pleasures  of  the  heir-apparent !  It  was  certainly  not  having 
ray  wits  about  me,  to  pander  for  so  young  a  prince.  Therein  con- 
sists my  crime :  had  he  been  arrived  at  a  more  knowing  age,  the 
king  perhaps  might  only  have  laughed  at  what  has  now  made  him 
so  angry.  But  who  can  have  given  such  counsel  to  the  monarch, 
without  dreading  the  prince's  resentment  or  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  ? 
That  minister  will  doubtless  take  ample  vengeance  for  his  nephew 
the  Count  de  Lemos.  How  can  the  king  have  made  the  discovery  ? 
That  is  above  my  comprehension." 

This  last  was  the  eternal  burden  of  my  song.  But  the  idea  most 
afflictive  to  my  mind,  what  drove  me  to  despair,  and  laid  fiend-like 
hold  upon  my  fancy,  was  the  unquestioned  plunder  of  my  effects. 
"  My  strong  box,"  exclaimed  I,  "  my  dear  wealth,  what  is  become  of 
you  ?  Into  what  hands  have  you  fallen  ?  Alas !  you  are  lost  in  less 
time  than  you  were  gained.!"  The  ruinous  confusion  of  my  house- 
hold was  the  perpetual  death's-head  of  my  imagination.  Yet  this 
wilderness  of  melancholy  ideas  sheltered  me  from  absolute  distrac- 
tion ;  sleep,  which,  had  shunned  my  wretched  straw,  now  paid  his 
readier  visit  to  my  soft  and  gentlemanly  couch.  Watching  and 
wine,  too,  imparted  a  strong  narcotic  to  his  poppies.  My  slumbers 
were  profound ;  and  to  all  appearance,  the  day  might  have  peeped 
in  upon  my  repose,  if  I  had  not  been  awakened  all  at  once  by  such 
sounds  as  rarely  perforate  a  prison  wall.  I  heard  the  thrum  of  a 
guitar,  accompanying  a  man's  voice.  My  whole  attention  was  ab- 
sorbed ;  but  the  invisible  musician  paused,  and  left  the  fleeting  im- 
pression of  a  dream.  An  instant  afterwards,  my  ear  was  soothed 
with  the  sound  of  the  same  instrument,  and  the  same  voice. 

Wisely  the  ant  against  poor  winter  hoards 
The  stock  which  summer's  wealth  affords ; 
In  gfasshoppers,  that  must  at  autumn  die, 
How  vain  were  such  an  industry  1 

Of  love  or  fortune  the  deceitful  light 
Might  half  excuse  our  cheated  sight, 
If  it  of  life  the  whole  small  time  would  stay, 
And  be  our  sunshine  all  the  day.* 

*  To  have  substituted,  with  a  slight  variation,  these  two  stanzas  from  Cowley  for  a 
traiislation  of  the  commonplace  couplet  in  the  original,  will  not  be  thought  to  require 


484  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

These  verses,  which  sounded  as  if  they  had  been  sung  expressly 
for  the  dirge  of  my  departed  happiness,  were  only  an  aggravation  of 
my  feelings.  "  The  truth  of  the  sentiment,"  said  I,  "  is  but  too  well 
exemplified  in  me.  The  meteor  of  court  favor  has  but  plunged  me 
in  substantial  darkness,  the  summer  sunshine  of  ambition  is 
quenched  in  these  autumnal  glooms."  Now  did  I  sink  again  into 
cold  and  comfortless  meditation ;  my  miseries  began  to  flow  afresh, 
as  if  they  fed  and  grew  upon  their  own  vital  stream.  Yet  my  wail- 
ings  ended  with  the  night ;  and  the  first  rays  which  played  upon  my 
chamber  wall  amused  my  mind  into  composure.  I  got  up  to  open 
my  window,  and  let  the  vivid  air  of  morning  into  my  room.  Then 
I  glanced  over  the  country,  so  attractively  depicted  in  the  descrip- 
tion of  my  keeper.  It  did  not  seem  to  justify  this  panegyric.  The 
ErSma,  a  second  Tagus  in  my  magnifying  fancy,  was  little  better 
than  a  brook.  Its  flowery  banks  were  fringed  with  nettles,  and 
arrayed  in  all  the  majesty  of  thistles ;  the  delicious  vale  in  this  fairy 
prospect  was  a  barren  wilderness,  untamed  by  human  labor.  It 
therefore  was  very  evident  that  my  keener  sensations  were  not  yet 
softened  into  such  a  composed  melancholy  as  could  give  any  but  a 
jaundiced  coloring  to  the  landscape. 

I  began  dressing,  and  had  already  half  finished  my  toilet,  when 
Tordesillas  ushered  in  an  old  chambermaid,  laden  with  shirts  and 
towels.  "Signer  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  '  here  is  your  linen.  Do  not 
be  saving  of  it ;  there  shall  always  be  as  many  changes  as  you  can 
possibly  want.  Well  now !  and  how  have  you  passed  the  night  ? 
Has  the  drowsy  god  administered  his  anodyne?"  "I  could  have 
slept  till  this  time,"  answered  I,  "  if  I  had  cot  been  awakened  by  a 
voice  singing  to  a  guitar."  "  The  cavalier  who  has  disturbed  your 
repose,"  resumed  he,  "  is  a  state  prisoner;  and  his  chamber  is  con- 
tiguous to  yours.  He  is  a  knight  of  the  military'  order  of  Calatrava, 
and  is  a  very  accomplished  person.  His  name  is  Don  Gaston  de 
Cogollos.  You  may  meet  as  often  as  you  like,  and  take  your  meals 
together.  It  will  afford  reciprocal  consolation  to  compare  your  for- 
tunes. There  can  be  no  doubt  of  your  being  agreeable  to  one 
another."  I  assured  Don  Andrew  how  sensible  I  was  of  his  indul- 
gence in  allowing  me  to  blend  my  sorrows  with  those  of  my  fellow- 
sufferer  ;  and,  as  I  betrayed  some  impatience  to  be  acquainted  with 
him,  our  accommodating  warden  met  my  wishes  on  the  very  same 
day.  He  fixed  me  to  dine  with  Don  Gaston,  whose  prepossessing 
physiognomy  and  symmetry  of  feature  struck  me  sensibly.  Judge 
what  it  must  have  been  to  make  so  strong  an  impression  on  eyes  ac- 
customed to  encounter  the  dazzling  exterior  of  the  court.     Figure  to 

any  apology.    They  necessarily  inTolve  a  change  in  the  consequent  reflections  of  our 
hero.— Tbakslatob. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  485 

yourself  a  man  fashioned  in  the  mould  of  pleasure ;  one  of  those 
heroes  in  romance,  who  has  only  to  show  his  face,  and  banish  sweet 
sleep  from  the  eyelids  of  princesses.  Add  to  this,  that  nature, 
who  is  generally  bountiful  with  one  hand  and  niggardly  with  the- 
other,  had  crowned  the  perfections  of  CogoUos  with  wit  and  valor. 
He  was  a  man  whose  like,  take  him  for  all  in  all,  we  might  not  soon 
look  upon  again. 

If  this  fine  fellow  was  mightily  to  my  taste,  it  was  my  good  luck 
not  to  be  altogether  offensive  to  him.  He  no  longer  sang  at  night 
for  fear  of  annoying  me,  though  I  begged  him  by  no  means  to  re- 
strain his  inclinations  on  my  account.  A  bond  of  union  is  soon 
formed  between  brethren  in  misfortune.  A  close  friendship  suc- 
ceeded to  mere  acquaintance,  and  strengthened  from  day  to  day. 
The  liberty  of  uninterrupted  intercourse  contributed  greatly  to  our 
mutual  support ;  our  burden  became  lighter  by  division. 

One  day  after  dinner  I  went  into  his  room,  just  as  he  was  tuning 
his  guitar.  To  hear  him  more  at  my  ease,  I  sat  down  on  the  only 
stool ;  while  he,  reclining  on  his  bed,  played  a  pathetic  air,  and  sang 
to  it  a  ditty  expressing  the  despair  of  a  lover  and  the  cruelty  of  his 
mistress.  When  he  had  finished,  I  said  to  him  with  a  smile,  "  Sir 
knight,  such  strains  as  these  could  never  be  applicable  to  your  own 
successes  with  the  fair.  You  were  not  made  to  cope  with  female  re- 
pulse." ",  You  think  too  well  of  me,"  answered  he.  "The  verses 
you  have  just  heard  were  composed  to  fit  my  own  case — to  soften  a 
heart  of  adamant.  You  must  hear  my  story,  and  in  my  story,  my 
distresses." 


CHAPTER  VI. 

HISTORY   OF    DON    GASTON    DE    COGOLLOS  AND    DONNA  HELENA  DE 
GALISTEO. 

u  T^x  will  be  very  soon  four  years  since  I  left  Madrid  to  go  and  see 
1  my  aunt  Donna  Eleonora  de  Laxarilla  at  Coria  :  she  is  one  of 
the  richest  dowagers  in  Old  Castille,  with  myself  for  her  only  heir. 
Scarcely  had  I  got  within  her  doors,  when  love  invaded  my  repose. 
The  windows  of  my  room  faced  the  lattice  of  a  lady  living  opposite; 
but  the  street  was  narrow,  and  her  blinds  pervious  to  the  eye.  It 
was  an  opportunity  too  delicious  to  be  lost,  and  I  found  my  neigh- 
bor so  lovely  that  my  heart  was  captivated.  The  subject  of  my 
sentry-watch  could  not  be  mistaken.    She  marked  it  well ;  but  she 


486  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

was  not  a  girl  to  glory  in  the  detection,  still  less  to  enconrage  my 
fooleries. 

"  It  was  natural  to  inquire  the  name  of  this  mighty  conqueror. 
I  learned  it  to  be  Donna  Helena,  only  daughter  of  Don  George  de 
Galisteo,  lord  of  a  large  domain  near  C!oria.  She  had  innumerable 
offers  of  marriage ;  but  her  father  repulsed  them  all,  because  he 
meant  to  bestow  her  hand  on  his  nephew,  Don  Austin  de  Olighera, 
who  had  uninterrupted  access  to  his  cousin  while  the  settlements 
were  preparing.  This  was  no  bar  to  my  hopes :  on  the  contrary,  it 
whetted  my  eagerness,  and  the  insolent  pleasure  of  supplanting  a 
favored  rival  was,  perhaps,  at  bottom  equally  my  motive  with  a  more 
noble  passion.  My  visual  artillery  was  obstinately  planted  against 
my  unyielding  fair.  Her  attendant  Felicia  was  not  without  any  in- 
cense of  a  glance,  to  soften  her  rigid  constancy  in  my  favor,  while 
nods  and  becks  stood  for  the  current  coin  of  language.  But  all 
these  efforts  of  gallantry  were  in  vain — the  maid  was  impregnable 
like  her  mistress — never  was  there  such  a  pair  of  cold  and  cruel 
ones. 

"  The  commerce  of  the  eyes  being  so  unthrifty,  I  had  recourse  to 
different  agents.  My  scouts  were  on  the  watch  to  hunt  out  what 
acquaintance  Felicia  might  have  in  town.  They  discovered  an  old 
lady,  by  name  Theodora,  to  be -her  most  intimate  friend,  and  that 
they  often  met.  Delighted  at  the  intelligence,  I  went  point  blank 
to  Theodora,  and  engaged  her  by  presents  in  my  interest.  She  took 
my  cause  up  heartily,  promised  to  contrive  an  interview  for  me  with 
her  friend,  and  kept  her  engagement  the  very  next  day. 

" '  I  am  no  longer  the  wretch  of  yesterday,'  said  I  to  Felicia, 
*  since  my  sufferings  have  melted  you  to  pity.  How  deep  is  my 
debt  to  your  friend  for  her  kind  interference  in  my  behalf!'  'Sir,' 
answered  she,  '  Theodora  can  do  what  she  pleases  with  me.  She  has 
brought  me  over  to  your  side  of  the  question  ;  and  if  I  can  do  you  a 
kindness,  you  shall  soon  be  at  the  summit  of  your  wishes ;  but,  with 
all  my  partiality  in  your  favor,  I  know  not  how  far  my  efforts  may 
be  successful.  It  would  be  cruel  to  mislead  you  ;  the  prize  will  not 
be  gained  without  a  severe  conflict.  The  object  of  your  passion  is 
betrothed  to  another  gentleman,  and  her  character  most  inauspi- 
cious to  your  designs.  Such  is  her  pride,  and  so  closely  locked  are 
her  secrets  within  her  own  breast,  that  if,  by  constancy  and  assid- 
uities, you  could  extort  from  her  a  few  sighs,  fancy  not  that  her 
haughty  spirit  would  indulge  your  ears  with  their  music'  '  Ah  ! 
my  dear  Felicia,'  exclaimed  I,  in  an  agony, 'why  will  you  thus 
magnify  the  obstacles  in  my  way  ?  To  set  them  in  array  will  kill 
me.  Lead  me  on  with  false  hopes,.if  you  will,  but  do  not  drive  me 
to  despair.'     With  these  words  I  took  one  of  her  hands,  pressed  it 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  487 

between 'mine,  and  slid  a  diamond  on  her  finger,  value  three  hun- 
dred pistoles,  with  such  a  moving  compliment  as  made  her  weep 
again. 

"  Such  speeches  and  corresponding  actions  deserved  some  scanty 
comfort.  She  smoothed  a  little  the  rugged  path  of  love.  *  Sir,'  said 
she,  *  what  I  have  just  been  telling  you  need  not  quite  quench  your 
hope.  Your  rival,  it  is  true,  is  in  possession  of  the  ground.  He 
comes  back  and  fore  as  he  pleases.  He  toys  with  her  as  often  as  he 
likes ;  but  all  that  is  in  your  favor.  The  habit  of  constant  inter- 
course sheds  a  languor  over  their  meetings.  They  part  without 
pain,  and  come  together  without  emotion.  One  would  take  them 
for  man  and  wife.  In  a  word,  my  mistress  has  no  marks  of  violent 
love  for  Don  Austin.  Besides,  in  point  of  person,  there  is  such  a 
difference  between  you  and  him  as  cannot  fail  to  catch  the  eye  of  a 
nice  observer  like  Donna  Helena,  Therefore  do  not  be  cast  down. 
Continue  your  particular  attentions.  You  shall  have  a  second  in 
me.  I  shall  let  no  opportunity  escape  of  pointing  out  to  my  mis- 
tress the  merit  of  all  your  exertions  to  please  her.  In  vain  shall  she 
intrench  herself  behind  reserve.  In  spite  of  guard  and  garrison,  I 
will  ransack  the  muster-roll  of  her  sentiments.' 

"  Now  were  my  open  attacks  and  secret  ambuscades  more  fiercely 
pointed  against  the  daughter  of  Don  George.  Among  the  rest,  I 
entertained  her  with  a  serenade.  After  the  concert,  Felicia,  to  sound 
her  mistress,  begged  to  know  how  she  had  been  entertained.  '  The 
singer  has  a  good  voice,'  said  Donna  Helena.  'But  how  did  you 
like  the  words?'  replied  the  abigail.  'I  scarcely  noted  them,'  re- 
turned the  lady ;  '  the  music  engrossed  my  whole  attention.  The 
poetry  excited  as  little  curiosity  as  its  author.'  *  If  that  is  the  case,' 
exclaimed  the  chambermaid,  *  poor  Don  Gaston  de  Cogollos  is  reck- 
oning without  his  host;  and  a  miserable  spendthrift  of  his  glances, 
to  be  always  ogling  at  our  lattice-work.'  'Perhaps  it  may  not  be 
he,'  said  the  mistress,  with  petrifying  indifference,  '  but  some  other 
spark,  announcing  his  passion  by  this  concert.'  '  Excuse  me,'  an- 
swered Felicia,  'it  is  Don  Gaston  himself,  who  accosted  me  this 
morning  in  the  street,  and  implored  me  to  assure  you  how  he  adored 
you,  in  defiance  of  your  rigorous  repulses,  but  that  he  should  esteem 
himself  the  most  blest  of  mortals  if  you  would  allow  him  to  soothe 
his  desponding  thoughts  by  all  the  most  delicate  and  impassioned 
attentions.  Judge  now  if  I  can  be  mistaken,  after  so  open  an 
avowal.' 

"Don  George's  daughter  changed  countenance  at  once,  and  said 
to  her  servant,  with  a  severe  frown,  '  You  might  well  have  dispensed 
with  the  relation  of  this  impertinent  discourse.  Bring  me  no  more 
such  idle  tales ;  and  tell  this  young  madman,  when  next  he  accosts 


488  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

you,  to  play  off  his  shallow  artifices  on  some  more  accommodating 
fool ;  but,  at  all  events,  let  him  choose  a  more  gentlemanly  recrea- 
tion than  that  of  lounging  all  day  at  his  window,  and  prying  into 
the  privacy  of  my  apartment.' 

"  This  message  was  faithfully  delivered  at  my  next  interview  with 
Felicia,  who  assured  me  that  her  mistress's  modes  of  speech  were 
not  to  be  taken  in  their  literal  construction,  but  that  my  affairs  were 
in  the  best  possible  train.  For  my  part,  being  little  read  in  the 
science  of  coquetry,  and  finding  no  favorable  sense  on  the  face  of 
the  author's  original  words,  I  was  half  out  of  humor  with  the  wire- 
drawn comments  of  the  critic.  She  laughed  at  my  misgivings,  and 
asked  her  friend  for  pen,  ink,  and  paper,  saying,  '  Sir  knight  of  the 
doleful  countenance,  write  immediately  to  Donna  Helena  as  dole- 
fully as  you  look.  Make  echo  ring  with  your  sufl'erings ;  outsigh 
the  river's  murmur ;  and,  above  all,  let  rocks  and  woods  resound 
with  the  prohibition  of  appearing  at  your  window.  Then  pawn 
your  existence  on  obeying  her,  though  without  the  possibility  ever 
to  redeem  the  pledge  Turn  all  that  nonsense  into  pretty  sentences, 
as  you  gay  deceivers  so  well  know  how  to  do,  and  leave  the  rest  to 
me.  The  event,  I  flatter  myself,  will  redound  more  than  you  are 
aware  to  the  honor  of  my  penetration.' 

"  He  must  have  been  a  strange  lover  who  would  not  have  profited 
by  so  opportune  an  occasion  of  writing  to  his  mistress.  My  letter 
was  couched  in  the  most  pathetic  terms.  Felicia  smiled  at  its 
contents,  and  said  that  if  the  women  knew  the  art  of  infatuating 
men,  the  men,  in  return,  had  borrowed  their  influence  over  women 
from  the  arch  wheedler  himself.  My  privy  counsellor  took  the  note, 
and  went  back  to  Don  George's,  with  a  special  injunction  that  my 
windows  should  be  fast  shut  for  some  days. 

"  *  Madam,'  said  she,  going  up  to  Donna  Helena,  'I  met  Don  Gas- 
ton. He  must  needs  endeavor  to  come  round  me  with  his  flattering 
speeches.  In  tremulous  accents,  like  a  culprit  pleading  against  his 
sentence,  he  begged  to  know  whether  I  had  spoken  to  you  on  his 
behalf.  Then,  in  prompt  and  faithful  compliance  with  your  orders, 
I  snapped  up  the  words  out  of  his  mouth.  To  be  sure,  my  tongue 
did  run  at  a  fine  rate  against  him.  I  called  him  all  manner  of 
names,  and  left  him  in  the  street  like  a  stock,  staring  at  my  ter- 
magant loquacity.'  '  I  am  delighted,'  answered  Donna  Helena,  'that 
you  have  disengaged  me  from  that  troublesome  person.  But  there 
wasBo  occasion  to  have  snubbed  him  so  unmercifully.  A  creature 
of  your  degree  should  always  keep  a  good  tongue  in  its  mouth.' 
*  Madam,'  replied  the  domestic,  *  one  cannot  get  rid  of  a  determined 
lover  by  mincing  one's  words,  though  it  comes  to  much  the  same 
thing  when  one  flies  into  a  passion.    Don  Gaston,  for  instance,  was 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  489 

not  to  be  bullied  out  of  his  senses.  After  having  given  it  him  on 
both  sides  of  his  ears,  as  I  told  you,  I  went  on  that  errand  of  yours 
to  the  house  of  your  relation.  The  lady,  as  ill  luck  would  have  it, 
kept  me  longer  than  she  ought.  I  say  longer  than  she  ought,  be- 
cause my  plague  and  torment  met  me  on  my  return.  Who  the 
deuce  would  have  thought  of  seeing  him?  It  put  me  all  in  a 
flutter ;  but  then  my  tongue,  which  at  other  times  is  apt  to  be  in  a 
twitter,  stuck  motionless  in  my  mouth.  While  in  this  condition, 
what  did  he  do  ?  He  slid  a  paper  into  my  hand  without  giving  me 
time  to  consider  whether  I  should  take  it  or  no,  and  made  off  in  a 
moment.' 

"After  this  introduction,  she  drew  my  letter  from  under  her 
stays,  and  gave  it  with  half  a  banter  to  her  mistress,  who  affected  to 
read  it  in  humorous  scorn,  but  digested  the  contents  most  greedily, 
and  then  put  on  the  starch,  ofl'ended  prude.  'In  good  earnest, 
Felicia,'  said  she,  with  all  the  gravity  she  could  assume,  '  you  were 
extremely  off  your  guard,  quite  bewildered  and  fascinated,  to  have 
taken  the  charge  of  such  an  epistle.  What  construction  would  Don 
Gaston  put  upon  it?  What  must  I  think  of  it  myself?  You  give 
me  reason,  by  this  strange  behavior,  to  mistrust  your  fidelity,  while 
he  must  suspect  me  of  encouraging  his  odious  suit.  Alas !  he  may, 
perhaps,  lay  that  flattering  unction  to  his  soul,  that  my  love  is  legi- 
ble in  these  characters,  and  not  his  trespass.  Only  consider  how 
you  lay  my  towering  pride.'  '  Oh  I  quite  the  reverse,  madam,'  an- 
Bwered  the  petticoated  pleader ;  '  it  is  impossible  for  him  to  think 
that ;  and  if  he  did,  he  would  soon  be  convinced  with  a  flea  in  his  ear. 
I  shall  tell  him,  when  next  we  meet,  that  I  have  delivered  his  letter, 
that  you  glanced  at  the  superscription  with  petrifying  indifference, 
and  then,  without  reading  a  word,  tore  it  into  ten  thousand  pieces.' 
'You  may  swear  that  I  did  not  read  it  with  a  safe  conscience,'  re- 
plied Donna  Helena.  '  I  should  be  puzzled  to  retrace  a  single  sen- 
timent.' Don  George's  daughter,  not  contented  with  these  words, 
suited  the  action  to  them,  tore  my  letter,  and  imposed  silence  on  my 
advocate. 

"As  I  had  promised  no  longer  to  play  the  lover  at  my  window, 
the  farce  of  obedience  was  kept  up  for  several  days.  Ogling  being 
interdicted,  my  courtship  was  doomed  to  enter  in  at  my  Helena's 
obdurate  ears.  One  night  I  attended  under  her  balcony  with  musi- 
cians ;  the  first  bars  of  the  serenade  were  already  playing,  when  a 
swaggering  blade,  sword  in  hand,  rushed  in  upon  our  harmony, 
laying  about  him  to  the  right  and  left,  to  the  utter  discomfiture  of 
the  troop.  Such  mad  warfare  fired  my  tilting  propensities  to  equal 
fury.  The  affray  became  serious.  Donna  Helena  and  her  maid 
were  disturbed  by  the  clash  of  swords.    They  looked  out  at  their 


490  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

lattice,  and  saw  two  men  engaged.  Their  cries  roused  Don  George 
and  his  servants.  The  whole  neighborhood  was  assembled  to  part 
the  combatants.  But  they  came  too  late :  on  the  field  of  battle, 
bathed  in  its  own  blood  and  almost  lifeless,  lay  my  unfortunate 
body.  They  carried  me  to  my  aunt's,  and  sent  for  the  best  surgical 
assistance  in  the  place. 

"All  the  world  was  merciful,  and  wished  me  well,  especially 
Donna  Helena,  whose  heart  was  now  unmasked.  Her  forced 
severity  yielded  to  her  natural  feelings.  Would  you  believe  it? 
The  cold,  relentless,  insensible,  was  kindled  into  the  warmest  of 
love's  votaries.  She  wore  out  the  remainder  of  the  night  in  weep- 
ing with  her  faithful  confidante,  and  giving  her  cousin,  Don  Austin 
de  Olighera,  to  perdition ;  for  him  they  taxed  with  the  plotted  mas- 
sacre, and  the  bill  was  a  true  one.  He  could  hide  his  heart  as  well 
as  his  cousin ;  he  therefore  watched  my  motions,  without  seeming 
to  suspect  them ,  and  fancying  them  not  to  be  without  a  corre- 
sponding impulse,  he  resolved  not  to  be  sacrificed  with  impunity. 
The  accident  was  an  awkward  one  to  me,  but  it  ended  in  over- 
powering rapture.  Dangerous  as  my  wound  was,  the  surgeon  soon 
brought  me  about.  I  was  still  confined  to  my  chamber,  when  my 
aunt.  Donna  Eleonora,  went  over  to  Don  George,  and  made  pro- 
posals for  Donna  Helena.  He  consented  the  more  readily  to  the 
marriage,  as  he  never  expected  to  see  Don  Austin  again.  The  good 
old  man  was  afraid  of  his  daughter's  not  liking  me,  because  cousin 
Olighera  had  kept  her  company ;  but  she  was  so  tractable  to  the 
parental  behest  as  to  furnish  grounds  for  believing  that  in  Spain, 
as  in  other  countries,  the  species,  not  the  individual,  is  the  object 
with  the  sex. 

"Felicia,  at  our  first  private  meeting,  communicated  the  emo- 
tions of  her  mistress  on  my  misfortune.  Now,  like  another  Paris, 
I  thought  Troy  well  lost  for  my  Helen,  and  blessed  the  happy  conse- 
quences of  my  wound.  Don  George  allowed  me  to  speak  with  his 
daughter  in  presence  of  her  attendant.  What  a  heavenly  interview  ! 
I  begged  and  prayed  the  lady  so  earnestly  to  tell  me  whether  her 
sufferance  of  my  vows  was  forced  upon  her  by  her  father,  that  she 
at  length  confessed  her  obedience  to  be  in  unison  with  her  inclina- 
tions. After  so  delicious  a  declaration,  my  whole  soul  was  given 
up  to  love  and  pleasurable  gratifications.  Our  nuptials  were  to  be 
graced  by  a  magnificent  procession  of  al.'  the  principal  people  in 
Coria  and  the  neighborhood. 

"  I  gave  a  splendid  party  at  my  aunt's  country-house,  in  the 
suburbs  on  the  side  of  Manrcfi.  Don  George,  his  daughter,  the 
family,  and  friends  on  both  sides,  were  present.  There  was  a  con- 
cert of  vocal  and  instrumental  music,  with  a  company  of  strolling 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  491 

players,  to  represent  a  comedy.  In  the  middle  of  the  festivities, 
some  one  whispered  me  that  a  man  wanted  to  speak  with  me  in  the 
hall  I  got  up  from  table  to  go  and  see  who  it  was.  The  stranger 
looked  like  a  gentleman's  servant.  He  put  a  letter  into  my  hand, 
containing  these  words : — 

"'If  you  have  any  sense  of  honor,  as  a  knight  of  your  order 
ought  to  have,  you  will  not  fail  to  attend  to-morrow  morning  in 
the  plain  of  Manroi  There  you  will  find  an  antagonist  ready  to 
give  you  your  revenge  for  his  former  attack  upon  your  person,  or, 
what  he  rather  hopes  and  meditates,  to  spoil  your  connubial  trans- 
ports with  Donna  Helena 

'Don  Austin  de  Oligheea.' 

If  love  is  a  Spanish  passion,  revenge  is  the  Spanish  lunacy.  Such 
a  note  as  this  was  not  to  be  read  with  composure.  At  the  mere 
subscription  of  Don  Austin,  there  kindled  in  my  veins  a  fire  which 
almost  made  me  forget  the  claims  of  hospitality.  I  was  tempted  to 
steal  away  from  my  company,  and  seek  my  antagonist  on  the  in- 
stant For  fear  of  disturbing  the  merriment,  hqwever,  I  bridled  in 
my  rage,  and  said  to  the  messenger,  '  My  friend,  you  may  tell  your 
employer  that  I  shall  meet  him  on  the  appointed  spot  at  sunrise, 
and  resume  the  contest  with  obstinacy  equal  to  his  own.' 

"After  sending  this  answer,  I  resumed  my  seat  at  table  with  so 
composed  a  mien  that  no  creature  had  the  least  suspicion  of  what 
had  occurred.  During  the  rest  of  the  day  I  gave  myself  up  to  the 
pleasures  of  the  festival,  which  ended  not  till  midnight  The  guests 
then  returned  to  town  ;  but  I  stayed  behind,  under  pretext  of  taking 
the  air  on  the  following  morning.  Instead  of  going  to  bed,  I  watched 
for  the  dawn  with  maddening  impatience.  With  the  first  ray  I  got 
on  horseback,  and  rode  alone  towards  Manroi.  On  the  plain  was  a 
horseman,  riding  up  to  me  at  full  speed.  I  pushed  forward,  and  we 
met  half  way.  It  was  my  rival.  '  Knight,'  said  he,  superciliously, 
'  it  is  against  my  will  that  I  meet  you  a  second  time  on  the  same 
occasion ;  but  you  have  brought  your  fate  on  yourself.  After  the 
adventure  of  the  serenade,  you  ought  to  have  waived  your  preten- 
sions to  Don  George's  daughter,  or  at  least  to  have  been  assured 
that  the  support  of  them  must  cost  you  dearer  than  a  single  en- 
counter.' '  You  are  too  much  elated,'  answered  I,  '  with  an  advan- 
tage which  is  less  owing,  perhaps,  to  your  superior  skill  than  to  the 
darkness  of  the  night.  Remember  that  victory  is  of  the  same  blind 
family  with  fortune.'  '  It  shall  be  my  lot  to  teach  you,'  replied  he, 
with  insulting  scorn,  '  that  I  have  unsealed  the  eyes  of  both.' 

"  At  this  proud  defiance,  we  both  dismounted,  tied  our  horses  to  a 
tree,  and  engaged  with  equal  fury.     I  must  candidly  acknowledge 


492  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

the  prowess  of  my  antagonist^  who  was  a  consummate  master  of 
fencing.  My  life  was  exposed  to  the  greatest  possible  danger. 
Nevertheless,  as  the  strong  is  often  vanquished  by  the  weak,  my 
rival,  in  spite  of  all  his  science,  received  a  thrust  through  the  heart, 
and  fell  a  lifeless  corpse. 

"  I  immediately  returned,  and  told  a  confidential  servant  what 
had  happened,  i^^^aesting  him  to  take  horse  and  acquaint  my  aunt, 
before  the  officers  of  justice  could  get  intelligence  of  the  event.  He 
was  also  to  obtain  from  her  a  supply  of  money  and  jewels,  and  then 
join  me  at  the  first  inn  as  you  enter  Plazencia. 

"  All  this  was  performed  within  three  hours.  Donna  Eleonora 
rather  triumphed  than  mourned  over  a  catastrophe  which  restored 
my  injured  honor,  and  sent  me  large  remittances  for  my  travels 
abroad  till  the  affair  had  blown  over. 

"  Not  to  dwell  on  different  circumstances,  suffice  it  to  say,  that  I 
embarked  for  Italy,  and  equipped  myself  so  as  to  make  a  respectable 
figure  at  the  several  courts. 

"  While  I  was  endeavoring  to  beguile  the  weary  hours  of  absence, 
Helena  was  weeping  at  home  from  the  same  cause.  Instead  of 
joining  in  the  family  resentment,  her  heart  was  panting  for  a  com- 
promise, and  for  my  speedy  return.  Six  months  had  already  elapsed, 
and  I  firmly  believe  that  her  constancy  would  have  been  proof 
against  the  track  of  time,  had  time  been  seconded  by  no  more  pow- 
erful ally.  Don  Bias  de  Combados,  a  gentleman  from  the  western 
coast  of  Galicia,  came  to  Coria,  to  take  possession  of  a  rich  inherit- 
ance unsuccessfully  contested  by  a  near  relation.  He  liked  that 
country  so  much  better  than  his  own,  that  he  made  it  his  principal 
residence.  Combados  was  a  personable  man.  His  manners  were 
gentle  and  well  bred,  his  conversation  most  insinuating.  AVith  such 
a  passport,  he  soon  got  into  the  best  company,  and  knew  all  the 
family  concerns  of  the  place. 

"  It  was  not  long  before  he  heard  of  Don  George's  daughter,  and 
of  her  extraordinary  beauty.  This  at  once  touched  his  curiosity ; 
he  was  eager  to  behold  so  formidable  a  lady.  For  this  purpose,  he 
endeavored  to  worm  himself  into  the  good  graces  of  her  father,  and 
succeeded  so  well,  that  the  old  gentleman,  already  looking  on  him 
as  a  son-in-law,  gave  him  free  admission  to  the  house,  and  the  liberty 
of  conversing  with  Donna  Helena  in  his  presence.  The  Galician 
soon  became  deeply  enamored  of  her ;  indeed,  it  was  the  common 
fate  of  all  who  had  ever  beheld  her  charms.  He  opened  his  heart 
to  Don  George,  who  consented  to  his  paying  his  addresses,  but  told 
him  that  so  far  from  offering  violence  to  her  inclination,  he  should 
never  interfere  in  her  choice.  Hereupon  Don  Bias  pressed  every 
device  that  impassioned  ingenuity  could  suggest  into  his  service. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  498 

to  melt  and  warm  the  icicles  of  reserve ;  but  the  lady  was  impene- 
trable to  his  arts,  fast  bound  in  the  fetters  of  an  earlier  love. 
Felicia,  however,  was  in  the  new  suitor's  interest,  convinced  of  his 
merit  by  the  universal  argument.  All  the  faculties  of  her  soul  were 
called  forth  in  his  cause.  On  the  other  hand,  the  father  urged  his 
wishes  and  entreaties.  Thus  was  Donna  Helena  tormented  for  a 
whole  year  with  their  importunities,  and  yet  her  faith  continued 
unshaken. 

"  Combados,  finding  that  Don  George  and  Felicia  took  up  his 
cause  with  very  little  success,  proposed  an  expedient  for  conquering 
prejudice,  to  the  following  effect.  We  will  suppose  a  merchant  of 
Coria  to  have  received  a  letter  from  his  Italian  correspondent,  in 
which,  among  the  news  of  the  day,  there  shall  be  the  following  para- 
graph :  '  A  Spanish  gentleman,  Don  Gaston  de  Cogollos,  has  lately 
arrived  at  the  court  of  Parma.  He  is  said  to  be  nephew  and  sole 
heir  to  a  rich  widow  of  Coria.  He  is  paying  his  addresses  to  a 
nobleman's  daughter ;  but  the  family  wishes  to  ascertain  the  validity 
of  his  pretensions.  Send  me  word,  therefore,  whether  you  know 
this  Don  Gaston,  together  with  the  amount  of  his  aunt's  fortune.  On 
your  answer  the  marriage  will  depend.     Parma,  .  .  .  day  of,  &c.' 

"  The  old  gentleman  considered  this  trick  as  a  mere  ebullition  of 
humor,  a  lawful  stratagem  of  amorous  warfare ;  and  the  jade  of  a  go- 
between,  with  conscience  still  more  callous  than  her  master's,  was 
delighted  with  the  probability  of  the  manoeuvre.  It  seemed  to  be  so 
much  the  more  happily  imagined,  as  they  knew  Helena  to  be  a  proud 
girl,  capable  of  taking  decisive  measures  in  the  moment  of  surprise 
and  indignation.  Don  George  undertook  to  be  the  herald  of  my 
fickleness,  and  by  way  of  coloring  the  contrivance  more  naturally, 
to  confront  the  pretended  correspondent  with  her.  This  project  was 
executed  as  soon  as  formed.  The  father,  with  counterfeit  emotions 
of  displeasure,  said  to  Donna  Helena,  '  Daughter,  it  is  not  enough 
now  to  tell  you  that  our  relations  inveigh  against  an  alliance  with 
Don  Austin's  murderer ;  a  still  stronger  reason  henceforward  presses 
to  detach  you  from  Don  Gaston.  It  may  overwhelm  you  with  shame 
to  have  been  his  dupe  so  long.  Here  is  an  undeniable  proof  of  his 
inconstancy.  Only  read  this  letter,  just  received  by  a  merchant  of 
Coria  from  Italy.'  The  trembling  Helena  caught  at  this  forged 
paper,  glanced  over  the  writing,  then  weighed  every  expression,  and 
stood  aghast  at  the  import  of  the  whole.  A  keen  pang  of  disappoint- 
ment wrung  from  her  a  few  reluctant  tears;  but  pride  came  to  her 
assistance ;  she  wiped  away  the  falling  drops  of  weakness,  and  said 
to  her  father,  in  a  determined  tone,  '  Sir,  you  have  just  been  witness 
of  my  folly  ;  now  bear  testimony  to  my  triumph  over  myself.  The 
delusion  is  past ;  Don  Gaston  is  the  object  of  my  utter  contempt.    I 


494  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

am  ready  to  meet  Don  Bias  at  the  altar,  and  be  beforehand  with  the 
traitor  in  the  pledge  of  our  transferred  affections.'  Don  George, 
transported  with  joy  at  this  change,  embraced  his  daughter,  extolled 
her  spirit  to  the  skies,  and  hastened  the  necessary  preparation  with 
all  the  self-complacency  of  a  successful  plotter. 

"  Thus  was  Donna  Helena  snatched  from  me.  She  threw  herself 
into  the  arms  of  Combados  in  a  pet,  not  listening  to  the  secret 
whispers  of  love  within  her  breast,  nor  suspecting  a  story  which 
ought  to  have  seemed  so  improbable  in  the  annals  of  true  passion. 
The  haughty  are  always  the  victims  of  their  own  rash  conclusions. 
Eesentment  of  insulted  beauty  triumphed  wholly  over  the  sugges- 
tions of  tenderness.  And  yet  a  few  days  after  marriage  there  came 
over  her  some  feelings  of  remorse  for  her  precipitation ;  it  struck 
her  that  the  letter  might  have  been  a  forgery,  and  the  very  possi- 
bility disturbed  her  peace.  But  the  enamored  Don  Bias  left  his 
wife  no  time  to  nurse  up  thoughts  injurious  to  their  new-found 
joys ;  a  succession  of  gayety  and  pleasure  kept  her  in  a  thought- 
less whirl,  and  shielded  her  from  the  pangs  of  unavailing  repent- 
ance. 

"  She  appeared  to  be  in  high  good  humor  with  so  spirit-stirring 
a  husband,  so  that  they  were  living  together  in  perfect  unanimity, 
when  my  aunt  adjusted  my  affair  with  Don  Austin's  relations.  Of 
this  she  wrote  me  word  to  Italy.  I  returned  on  the  wings  of  love. 
Donna  Eleonora,  not  having  announced  the  marriage,  informed  me 
of  it  on  my  arrival,  and  remarking  what  pain  it  gave  me,  said, 
'You  are  in  the  wrong,  nephew,  to  show  so  much  feeling  for  a 
faithless  fair.  Banish  from  your  memory  a  person  so  unworthy  to 
share  its  tender  recollections.' 

"  As  my  aunt  did  not  know  how  Donna  Helena  had  been  played 
upon,  she  had  reason  to  talk  as  she  did ;  nor  could  she  have  given 
me  better  advice.  To  affect  indifference,  if  not  to  conquer  my  pas- 
sion, was  my  bounden  duty.  Yet  there  could  be  no  harm  in  just 
inquiring  by  what  means  this  union  had  been  brought  about.  To 
get  at  the  truth,  I  determined  on  applying  to  Felicia's  friend,  Theo- 
dora. There  I  met  with  Felicia  herself,  who  was  confounded  at  my 
unwelcome  presence,  and  would  have  escaped  from  the  necessity  of 
explanation.  But  I  stopped  her.  '  Why  do  you  avoid  me  ?'  said  I. 
'  Has  your  perjured  mistress  forbidden  you  to  give  ear  to  my  com- 
plaints? or  would  you  make  a  merit  with  the  ungrateful  woman  of 
your  voluntary  refusal  ?' 

Sir,'  answered  the  plotting  abigail,  '  I  confess  my  fault,  and 
throw  myself  on  your  mercy.  Your  appearance  here  has  filled  me 
with  remorse.  My  mistress  has  been  betrayed,  and,  unhappily,  in 
part  by  my  agency.'  The  particulars  of  this  infernal  device  followed 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  ■        496 

this  avowal,  with  an  endeavor  to  make  me  amends  for  its  lamentable 
consequence.  To  this  effect  she  offered  me  her  services  with  her 
mistress,  and  promised  to  undeceive  her;  in  a  word,  to  work  night 
and  day  that  she  might  soften  the  rigor  of  my  sufferings,  and  open 
the  career  of  hope. 

"  I  pass  over  the  numberless  contradictions  she  experienced  be- 
fore she  could  accomplish  the  projected  interview.  It  was  at  length 
arranged  to  admit  me  privately,  while  Don  Bias  was  at  his  hunting- 
seat.  The  plot  did  not  linger.  The  husband  went  into  the  country, 
and  they  sent  for  me  to  his  lady's  apartment. 

"  My  onset  was  reproachful  in  the  extreme,  but  my  mouth  was 
soon  shut  upon  the  subject.  '  It  is  useless  to  look  back  upon  the 
past,'  said  the  lady.  '  It  can  be  no  part  of  our  present  intention  to 
work  upon  each  other's  feelings,  and  you  are  grievously  mistaken  if 
you  fancy  me  inclined  to  flatter  your  aspiring  hopes.  My  sole  in- 
ducement for  receiving  you  here  was  to  tell  you  personally  that  you 
have  only  henceforth  to  forget  me.  Perhaps  I  might  have  been 
better  satisfied  with  my  lot  had  it  been  united  with  yours ;  but 
since  Heaven  has  ordered  it  otherwise,  we  must  submit  to  its  de- 
crees.' 

" '  What,  madam  V  answered  I,  '  is  it  not  enough  to  have  lost 
you,  to  see  my  successful  rival  in  quiet  possession  of  all  my  soul 
holds  dear,  but  I  must  also  banish  you  from  my  thoughts  ?  You 
would  tear  from  me  even  my  passion,  my  only  remaining  blessing ! 
And  think  you  that  a  man  whom  you  have  once  enchanted  can  re- 
cover his  self-possession  ?  Know  yourself  better,  and  cease  to  enforce 
impracticable  behests.'  '  Well,  then,  if  so,'  rejoined  she  with  hurried 
importunity,  '  do  you  cease  to  flatter  yourself  with  interesting  my 
gratitude  or  my  pity.  In  one  short  word,  the  wife  of  Don  Bias  shall 
never  be  the  mistress  of  Don  Gaston.  Let  us  at  once  end  a  conver- 
sation at  which  delicacy  revolts  in  spite  of  virtue,  and  peremptorily 
forbids  its  longer  continuance.' 

"  I  now  threw  myself  at  the  lady's  feet  in  despair.  All  the  powers 
of  language  and  of  tears  were  called  forth  to  soften  her.  But  even 
this  served  only  to  excite  some  inbred  sentiments  of  compassion, 
stifled  as  soon  as  born,  and  sacrificed  at  the  shrine  of  duty.  After 
having  fruitlessly  exhausted  all  my  stores  of  tender  persuasion,  rage 
took  possession  of  my  breast.  I  drew  my  sword,  and  would  have 
fallen  on  its  point  before  the  inexorable  Helena ;  but  she  saw  my 
design,  and  prevented  it.  'Stay  your  rash  hand,  Cogollos,'  said 
she.  '  Is  it  thus  that  you  consult  my  reputation  ?  In  dying  thus, 
and  here,  you  will  brand  me  with  dishonor,  and  my  husband  with 
the  imputation  of  murder.' 

"  In  the  agony  of  my  despair,  far  from  yielding  to  these  suggea- 


496       •  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

tions,  I  only  struggled  against  the  preventive  efforts  of  the  two 
women,  and  should  have  struggled  too  successfully,  if  Don  Bias  had 
not  appeared  to  second  them.  He  had  been  apprised  of  our  assig- 
nation, and  instead  of  going  into  the  country,  had  concealed  himself 
behind  the  hangings,  to  overhear  our  conference.  '  Don  Gaston,* 
cried  he,  as  he  arrested  my  uplifted  arm,  *  recall  your  scattered 
senses,  and  no  longer  indulge  in  these  mad  transports.' 

"  Here  I  could  hold  no  longer.  'Is  it  for  you,'  said  I,  *to  turn 
me  from  my  resolution  ?  You  ought  rather  to  plunge  a  dagger  in 
my  bosom.  My  love,  with  all  its  train  of  miseries,  is  an  insult  to 
you.  Have  you  not  surprised  me  in  your  wife's  apartment  at  this 
unseasonable  hour?  What  greater  provocation  can  you  want  for 
your  revenge?  Stab  me,  and  rid  yourself  of  a  man  who  can  only 
give  up  the  adoration  of  Donna  Helena  with  his  life.'  '  It  is  in 
vain,'  answered  Don  Bias,  '  that  you  endeavor  to  interest  my  honor 
in  your  destruction.  You  are  suflSciently  punished  for  your  rash- 
ness, and  my  wife's  imprudence,  in  giving  you  this  opportunity  of 
indulging  it,  is  sanctified  by  the  purity  of  her  sentiments.  Take  my 
advice,  Cogollos  :  shrink  not  effeminately  from  your  wayward  des- 
tiny, but  bear  up  against  it  with  the  patient  courage  of  a  hero.' 

"The  prudent  Galician,  by  such  language,  gradually  composed 
the  ferment  of  my  mind,  and  waked  me  once  more  to  virtue.  I 
withdrew  in  the  determination  of  removing  far  from  the  scene  of 
my  folly,  and  left  for  Madrid  two  days  afterwards.  There,  pursuing 
the  career  of  fortune  and  preferment,  I  appeared  at  court,  and  laid 
myself  out  for  connections.  But  it  was  my  ill  luck  to  attach  myself 
particularly  to  the  Marquis  of  Villareal,  a  Portuguese  grandee,  who, 
lying  under  a  suspicion  of  intending  to  emancipate  his  country  from 
the  Spanish  yoke,  is  now  in  the  castle  of  Alicant.  As  the  Duke  of 
Lerma  knew  me  to  be  closely  connected  with  this  nobleman,  he  gave 
orders  for  my  arrest  and  detention  here.  That  minister  thought  me 
capable  of  engaging  in  such  a  project — he  could  not  have  offered  a 
more  outrageous  affront  to  a  man  of  noble  birth  and  a  Castilian." 

Don  Gaston  thus  ended  his  story.  By  way  of  consolation  I  said 
to  him,  "  Illustrious  sir,  your  honor  can  receive  no  taint  from  this 
temporary  detainer,  and  your  interest  will  probably  be  promoted 
by  it  in  the  end.  When  the  Duke  of  Lerma  shall  be  convinced  of 
your  innocence,  he  will  not  fail  to  give  you  a  considerable  post, 
and  thus  retrieve  the  character  of  a  gentleman  unjustly  accused  of 
treason." 


S^#^l 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  4SfJ 


CHAPTER   VII. 

SCIPIO  FINDS  GIL  BLAS  OUT  IN  THE   TOWER  OF  SEGOVIA,  AND    BRINGS 
HIM  A  BUDGET  OF  NEWS. 

OUR  conversation  was  interrupted  by  Tordesillas,  who  came 
into  the  room,  and  addressed  me  thus :  "  Signor  Gil  Bias,  I 
have  just  been  speaking  with  a  young  man  at  the  prison  gate.  He 
inquired  if  you  were  not  here,  and  looked  much  mortified  at  my 
refusal  to  satisfy  his  curiosity,  '  Noble  governor,'  said  he,  with 
tears  in  his  eyes,  'do  not  reject  my  most  humble  petition.  I  am 
Signor  de  Santillane's  principal  domestic,  and  you  will  do  an  act 
of  charity  by  allowing  me  to  see  him.  You  pass  for  a  kind-hearted 
gentleman  in  Segovia ;  I  hope  you  will  not  deny  me  the  favor  of 
conversing  for  a  few  minutes  with  my  dear  master,  who  is  unfortu- 
nate rather  than  criminal.'  In  short,"  continued  Don  Andrew, 
"  the  lad  was  so  importunate  that  I  promised  to  comply  with  his 
wishes  this  evening." 

I  assured  Tordesillas  that  he  could  not  have  pleased  me  better 
than  by  bringing  this  young  man  to  me,  who  could  probably  com- 
municate tidings  of  the  greatest  importance.  I  waited  with  impa- 
tience for  the  entrance  of  my  faithful  Scipio,  since  I  could  not  doubt 
him  to  be  the  man  ;  nor  was  I  mistaken  in  my  conjecture.  He  was 
introduced  at  the  time  appointed,  and  his  joy,  which  only  mine 
could  equal,  broke  forth  into  the  most  whimsical  demonstrations. 
On  my  side,  in  the  ecstasy  of  delight,  I  stretched  out  my  arms  to 
him,  and  he  rushed  into  them  with  no  courtly,  measured  embrace. 
All  distinctions  of  master  and  dependent  were  levelled  in  the  sym- 
pathetic rapture  of  our  meeting. 

When  our  transports  had  subsided  a  little,  I  inquired  into  the 
state  of  my  household.  "  You  have  neither  household  nor  house," 
answered  he :  "  to  spare  you  a  long  string  of  questions,  I  will  sum 
up  your  worldly  concerns  in  two  words.  Your  property  has  been 
pillaged  at  both  ends,  both  by  the  banditti  of  the  law  and  by  your 
own  retainers,  who,  regarding  you  as  a  ruined  man,  paid  themselves 
their  own  wages  out  of  whatever  they  found  was  portable.  Luckily 
for  you,  I  had  the  dexterity  to  save  from  their  harpy  clutches  two 
large  bags  of  double  pistoles.  Salero,  in  whose  custody  I  deposited 
them,  will  make  restitution  on  your  release,  which  cannot  be  far 
distant,  as  you  were  put  upon  his  majesty's  pension  list  of  prisoners 
without  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  knowledge  or  consent." 

I  asked  Scipio  how  he  knew  his  excellency  to  have  had  no  share 
in  my  arrest.  "  You  may  depend  on  it,"  answered  he,  "  my  infor- 
32 


498  ADVENTURES  OP  OIL  BLAS. 

mation  is  undeniable.  One  of  my  friends  in  the  Duke  of  Uzeda's 
confidence  acquainted  me  with  all  the  circumstances  of  your  im- 
prisonment. Calderona,  having  discovered  by  a  spy  that  Signora 
Sirena,  with  the  handle  of  an  alias  to  her  name,  was  receiving  night 
visits  from  the  Prince  of  Spain,  and  that  the  Count  de  Lemos  man- 
aged that  intrigue  by  the  panderism  of  Signor  de  Santillane,  deter- 
mined to  be  revenged  on  the  whole  knot.  To  this  end,  he  waited 
on  the  Duke  of  Uzeda,  and  discovered  the  whole  affair.  The  duke, 
overjoyed  at  such  a  fine  opportunity  of  ruining  his  enemy,  did  not 
fail  to  bestir  himself.  He  laid  his  information  before  the  king,  and 
painted  the  prince's  danger  in  the  most  lively  colors.  His  majesty 
was  much  angered,  and  showed  that  he  was  so  by  sending  Sirena  to 
the  nunnery  provided  for  such  frail  sisters,  banishing  the  Count  de 
Lemos,  and  condemning  Gil  Bias  to  perpetual  imprisonment. 

"  This,"  pursued  Scipio,  "  is  whatmy  friend  told  me.  Hence  you 
gather  your  misfortune  to  be  the  Duke  of  Uzeda's  handiwork,  or 
rather  Calderona's." 

Thus  it  seemed  probable  that  my  affairs  might  be  reinstated  in 
time ;  that  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  chagrined  at  his  nephew's  banish- 
ment, would  move  heaven  and  earth  for  that  nobleman's  recall; 
and  it  might  not  be  too  much  to  expect  that  his  excellency  would 
not  forget  me.  What  a  delicate  gypsy  is  Hope !  She  wheedled  me 
out  of  all  anxiety  about  my  shattered  fortunes,  and  made  me  as 
light-hearted  as  if  I  had  good  reason  to  be  so.  My  prison  looked 
not  like  the  dungeon  of  perpetual  misery,  but  like  the  vestibule  to 
a  more  distinguished  station.  For  thus  ran  the  train  of  my  reason- 
ing :  Don  Fernando  Borgia,  Father  Jerome  of  Florence,  and  more 
than  all,  Friar  Louis  of  Aliaga,  who  may  thank  him  for  his  place 
about  the  king's  person,  are  the  prime  minister's  partisans.  With 
the  aid  of  such  powerful  friends,  his  excellency  will  bear  down  all 
opposition,  even  supposing  no  change  to  take  place  in  the  political 
barometer.  But  his  majesty's  health  is  very  precarious.  The  first 
act  of  a  new  reign  would  be  to  recall  the  Count  de  Lemos ;  he  would 
not  feel  himself  at  home  in  the  young  monarch's  presence  till  he 
had  introduced  me  at  court ;  and  the  young  monarch  would  not  sit 
easy  on  his  throne  till  he  had  showered  benefits  on  my  head.  Thus, 
feasting  by  anticipation  on  the  pleasures  of  futurity,  I  became  cal- 
lous to  existing  evils.  The  two  bags,  snug  in  the  goldsmith's  cus- 
tody, were  no  bad  doubles  to  the  part  which  Hope  acted  in  this 
shifting  pantomime. 

It  was  impossible  not  to  express  my  gratitude  to  Scipio  for  his 
zeal  and  honesty.  I  offered  him  half  the  salvage  ;  but  he  rejected 
it.  "I  expect,"  said  he,  "a  very  different  acknowledgment." 
Astonished  as  much  at  his  mysterious  claim  as  at  his  refusal,  I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  499 

asked  what  more  I  could  do  for  him.  "  Let  us  never  part,"  answered 
he.  "Allow  me  to  link  my  fate  with  yours.  I  feel  for  you  what  I  never 
felt  for  any  other  master."  "And  on  my  part,  my  good  fellow," 
said  I,  "  you  may  rest  assured  that  your  attachment  is  not  thrown 
away.  You  caught  my  fancy  at  first  sight.  We  must  have  been 
born  under  Libra  or  Gemini,  where  friendship  is  lord  of  the  ascend- 
ant. I  willingly  accept  your  proffered  partnership,  and  I  will  com- 
mence business  by  prevailing  with  the  warden  to  immure  you  along 
with  me  in  this  tower."  "  That  is  the  very  thing,"  exclaimed  he. 
"  You  were  beforehand  with  me,  for  I  was  just  going  to  beg  that 
favor.  Your  company  is  dearer  to  me  than  liberty  itself.  I  shall 
only  just  go  to  Madrid  now  and  then,  to  snuff  the  gale  of  the  min- 
isterial atmosphere,  and  try  whether  any  scent  lies  which  may  be 
favorable  for  your  pursuit.  Thus  will  you  combine  in  me  a  bosom 
friend,  a  trusty  messenger,  and  an  unsuspected  spy." 

These  advantages  were  too  important  for  me  to  forego  them.  I 
therefore  kept  so  useful  a  person  about  me,  with  leave  of  the  oblig- 
ing warden,  who  would  not  stand  in  the  way  of  so  soothing  a  relief 
to  the  weariness  of  solitude. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


SCIPIO'S    FIRST  JOUENEY    TO  MADRID :    ITS    OBJECT  AND  SUCCESS.     GIL 
BLAS  FALLS  SICK.     THE  CONSEQUENCE  OF  HIS  ILLNESS. 

IF  it  is  a  common  proverb  that  our  direst  enemies  are  those  of 
our  own  household,  the  converse  ought  equally  to  be  admitted 
among  the  saws  of  a  more  candid  experience.  After  such  in- 
contestable proof  of  Scipio's  zeal,  he  became  to  me  like  another 
self.  All  distinction  of  place  was  confounded  between  Gil  Bias 
and  his  secretary ;  all  insolence  was  dropped  on  the  one  hand,  all 
cringing  on  the  other.  Their  lodging,  bed,  and  board,  were  in 
common. 

Scipio's  conversation  was  of  a  very  lively  turn ;  he  might  have 
been  dubbed  the  Spanish  Momus,  without  any  derogation  to  the 
Punch  of  the  Pantheon.  But  he  had  a  long  head,  as  well  as  a  fan- 
ciful brain,  combining  the  characters  of  counsellor  and  jester. 
"  My  friend,"  said  I,  one  day,  "  what  do  you  think  of  writing  to  the 
DukeofLerma?  It  could,  methinks,  do  no  harm."  "Why,  as  to 
that,"  answered  he,  "  the  great  are  such  chameleons,  that  there  is 


600  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

no  knowing  where  to  have  them.  At  all  events,  you  may  risk  it ; 
though  I  would  not  lay  the  postage  of  your  letter  on  its  success. 
The  minister  loves  you,  it  is  true ;  but  then  political  love  lacks 
memory  as  much  as  personal  love  lacks  visual  discrimination. 
Out  of  sight,  out  of  mind  I  is  at  once  the  motto  and  the  stigma  of 
these  gentry." 

"  True  as  this  may  be  in  the  general,"  replied  I,  "  my  patron  is  a 
glorious  exception.  His  kindness  lives  in  my  recollection.  I  am 
persuaded  that  he  suffers  for  my  sufferings,  and  that  they  are  inces- 
santly preying  on  his  spirits.  We  must  give  him  credit  for  only 
waiting  till  the  king's  anger  shall  pass  away."  "  Be  it  so,"  resumed 
he ;  "I  wish  you  may  not  reckon  without  your  host.  Assail  his 
excellency,  then,  with  an  epistle  to  stir  the  waters.  I  will  engage 
to  deliver  it  into  his  own  hands."  Pen,  ink,  and  paper  being 
brought,  I  composed  a  specimen  of  eloquence  which  Scipio  declared 
to  be  a  paragon  of  pathos,  and  Tordesillas  preferred,  for  the  cant  of 
sermonizing  prolixity,  to  the  old  archbishop's  homilies. 

I  flattered  myself  that  there  would  be  tears  in  the  Duke  of  Lerma's 
eyes,  and  distraction  in  his  aspect,  at  the  detail  of  miseries  which 
existed  only  on  paper.  In  that  assurance,  I  despatched  my  messen- 
ger, who  no  sooner  got  to  Madrid,  than  he  went  to  the  minister's. 
Meeting  with  an  old  domestic  of  my  acquaintance,  he  had  no  difli- 
culty  in  gaining  access  to  the  duke.  "  My  lord,"  said  Scipio  to  his 
excellency,  as  he  delivered  the  packet,  "  one  of  your  most  devoted 
servants,  lying  at  his  length  on  straw,  in  a  damp  and  dreary  dun- 
geon at  Segovia,  most  humbly  supplicates  for  the  perusal  of  this 
letter,  which  a  tender-hearted  turnkey  has  furnished  him  with  the 
means  of  writing."  The  minister  opened  the  letter,  and  glanced 
over  the  contents.  But  though  he  found  there  a  motive  and  a  cue 
for  passion  enough  to  amaze  all  his  faculties  at  once,  far  from  drown- 
ing the  floor  with  briny  secretions,  he  cleaved  the  ear  of  his  house- 
hold and  smote  the  heart  of  my  courier  with  horrid  speech : 
"  Friend,  tell  Santillane  that  he  has  a  great  deal  of  impudence  to 
address  me,  after  so  rank  an  offence,  worthily  confronted  by  the 
severe  sentence  of  the  king.  Under  that  sentence  let  the  wretch 
drag  out  his  days,  nor  look  to  my  mediation  for  a  respite." 

Scipio,  though  neither  dull  nor  muddy-mettled,  began  to  be  un- 
pregnant  of  this  defeated  cause.  Yet  he  was  not  so  pigeon-livered 
as  to  retire  without  an  effort  in  my  favor.  "  My  lord,"  replied  he, 
"  this  poor  prisoner  will  give  up  the  ghost  with  grief  at  the  recital 
of  your  excellency's  displeasure."  The  duke  answered  like  a  prime 
minister,  with  a  supercilious  corrugation  of  features,  and  a  decisive 
revolution  of  his  front  to  some  more  prosperous  suitor.  This  he 
did  to  cover  his  own  share  in  the  shame  of  pimping;   and  such 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  601 

treatment  must  all  those  hireling  scavengers  expect  who  rake  in 
the  filth  and  ordure  of  rotten  statesmen,  courtiers,  and  politicians. 

My  secretary  came  back  to  Segovia,  and  delivered  the  result  of 
ills  mission.  And  now  behold  me,  sunk  deeper  than  on  the  first 
day  of  my  imprisonment  in  the  gulf  of  affliction  and  despair!  The 
Duke  of  Lerma's  turning  king's  evidence  gave  a  hanging  posture  to 
my  affairs.  My  courage  was  run  out;  and  though  they  did  all  they 
could  to  keep  up  my  spirits,  the  agitation  and  distress  of  my  mind 
threw  me  into  a  fever. 

The  warden,  who  took  a  lively  interest  in  my  recovery,  fancying 
in  his  unmedical  head  that  physicians  cured  fevers,  brought  me  a 
double  dose  of  death  in  two  of  that  doleful  deity's  most  practiced 
executioners.  "Signor  Gil  Bias,"  said  he,  as  he  ushered  in  their 
grisly  forms,  "  here  are  two  godsons  of  Hippocrates,  who  are  come 
to  feel  your  pulse,  and  to  augment  the  number  of  their  trophies  in 
your  person."  I  was  so  prejudiced  against  the  whole  faculty,  that  I 
should  certainly  have  given  them  a  very  discouraging  reception,  had 
life  retained  its  usual  charms  in  my  estimation  ;  but  being  bent  on 
my  departure  from  this  vale  of  tears,  I  felt  obliged  to  Tordesillas 
for  hastening  my  journey  by  a  safer  conveyance  than  the  crime  of 
suicide. 

"  My  good  sir,"  said  one  of  the  pair,  "  your  recovery  will,  under 
Providence,  depend  on  your  entire  confidence  in  our  skill."  "  Im- 
plicit confidence  I"  answered  I :  "  with  your  assistance,  I  am  fully 
persuaded  that  a  few  days  will  place  me  beyond  the  reach  of  fever, 
and  all  the  shocks  that  flesh  is  heir  to."  "  Yes !  with  the  blessing 
of  Heaven,"  rejoined  he,  "  it  is  a  consummation  devoutly  to  be 
wished,  and  easily  to  be  effected.  At  all  events,  our  best  endeavors 
shall  not  be  wanting."  And  indeed  it  was  no  joke  ;  for  they  got  me 
into  such  fine  training  for  the  other  world,  that  few  of  my  material 
particles  were  left  in  this.  Already  had  Don  Andrew,  observing  me 
fumble  with  the  sheets,  and  smile  upon  my  fingers'  ends,  and  think- 
ing there  was  but  one  way,  sent  for  a  Franciscan  to  show  it  me : 
already  had  the  good  father,  having  mumbled  over  the  salvation  of 
my  soul,  retired  to  the  refection  of  his  own  body :  and  my  own  opinion 
leaned  to  the  immediate  necessity  of  making  a  good  end.  I  beckoned 
Scipio  to  my  bedside.  "  My  dear  friend,"  said  I,  in  the  faint  accents 
of  a  tortured  and  evacuated  patient,  "  I  give  and  bequeath  to  you 
one  of  the  bags  in  Gabriel's  possession  ;  the  other  you  must  carry  to 
my  father  and  mother  in  the  Asturias,  who,  if  still  living,  must  be 
in  narrow  circumstances.  But,  alas !  I  fear  they  have  not  been  able 
to  bear  up  against  my  ingratitude.  Muscada's  report  of  my  un- 
natural behavior  must  have  brought  their  gray  hairs  with  sorrow  to 
the  grave.    Should  Heaven  have  fortified  their  tender  hearts  against 


602  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

my  indifference,  you  will  give  them  the  bag  of  doubloons,  with  as- 
surances of  ray  dying  remorse ;  and  if  they  are  no  more,  I  charge 
you  to  lay  out  the  money  in  masses  for  the  repose  of  their  souls  and 
of  mine."  Then  did  I  stretch  out  my  hand,  which  he  bathed  in 
silent  tears.  It  is  not  always  true  that  the  mourning  of  an  heir  is 
mirth  in  masquerade. 

For  some  hours  I  fancied  myself  outward-bound,  and  on  the  point 
of  sailing;  but  the  wind  changed.  My  pilots  having  quitted  the 
helm,  and  left  the  vessel  to  the  steerage  of  nature,  the  danger  of 
shipwreck  disappeared-  The  fever  mutinying  against  its  command- 
ing officers,  gave  all  their  prognostics  the  lie,  and  acted  contrary  to 
general  orders.  I  got  better  by  degrees,  in  mind  as  well  as  in  body. 
My  consolation  was  all  derived  from  within.  I  looked  at  wealth 
and  honors  with  the  eye  of  a  dying  anchoret,  and  blessed  the  malady 
which  restored  my  soul.  I  abjured  courts,  politics,  and  the  Duke  of 
Lerma.  If  ever  my  prison  doors  were  opened,  it  was  my  fixed 
resolve  to  buy  a  cottage,  and  live  like  a  philosopher. 

My  bosom  friend  applauded  my  design,  and  to  further  its  execu- 
tion, undertook  a  second  journey  to  solicit  my  release,  by  the  inter- 
vention of  a  clever  girl  about  the  person  of  the  prince's  nurse.  He 
contended  that  a  prison  was  a  prison  still,  in  spite  of  kind  indul- 
gence and  good  cheer.  In  this  I  agreed,  and  gave  him  leave  .to 
depart,  with  a  fervent  prayer  to  Heaven  that  we  might  soon  take 
possession  of  our  hermitage. 


CHAPTEK   IX. 


BCIPIO'S  SECOND    JOURNEY  TO    MADKID.     GIL   BLAS  IS  SET  AT   LIBERTY 
ON  CERTAIN  CONDITIONS. 

WHILE  waiting  for  Scipio's  return  from  Madrid,  I  began  a 
course  of  study.  Tordesillas  furnished  me  with  more  books 
than  I  wanted.  He  borrowed  them  from  an  old  officer  who  could 
not  read,  but  had  fitted  up  a  magnificent  library,  that  he  might  pass 
for  a  man  of  learning.  Above  all,  I  delighted  in  moral  essays  and 
treatises,  because  they  abounded  in  commonplaces,  according  with 
my  antipathy  to  courts  and  philosophic  relish  of  solitude. 

Three  weeks  elapsed  before  I  heard  a  syllable  from  my  negotiator, 
who  returned  at  length  with  a  cheerful  countenance,  and  news  to 
the  following  effect :  "  By  the  intercession  of  a  hundred  pistoles  with 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  503 

the  chambermaid,  and  her  intercession  with  her  mistress,  the  Prince 
of  Spain  has  been  prevailed  with  to  plead  for  your  enlargement  with 
his  royal  father.  I  hastened  hither  to  announce  these  happy  tidings, 
and  must  return  immediately  to  put  the  last  hand  to  my  work." 
With  these  words  he  left  me,  and  went  back  to  court. 

At  the  week's  end  my  expeditious  agent  returned,  with  the  intel- 
ligence that  the  prince  had  procured  my  liberty,  not  without  some 
difficulty.  On  the  same  day  my  generous  keeper  confirmed  the 
assurance  in  person,  with  the  kindest  congratulations  and  the  fol- 
lowing notice  :  "Your  prison  doors  are  open,  but  on  two  conditions, 
which  I  am  sorry  that  my  duty  obliges  me  to  announce,  because 
they  will  probably  be  disagreeable  to  you.  His  majesty  expressly 
forbids  you  to  show  your  face  at  court,  or  to  be  found  within  the 
limits  of  the  two  Castilles  on  this  day  month.  I  am  extremely  sorry 
that  you  are  interdicted  from  court."  "  And  I  am  delighted  at  it," 
answered  I.  "  Witness  all  the  powers  above  !  I  asked  the  king  for 
only  only  one  favor ;  he  has  granted  me  two." 

With  my  liberty  thus  confirmed,  I  hired  a  couple  of  mules,  on 
which  we  mounted  the  next  day,  after  taking  leave  of  Cogollos,  and 
thanking  Tordesillas  a  thousand  times  for  all  his  instances  of 
friendship.  We  set  forward  cheerfully  on  the  road  to  Madrid,  to 
draw  our  deposit  out  of  Signor  Gabriel's  hands,  amounting  to  a 
thousand  doubloons.  On  the  road  my  fellow-traveller  observed, 
"  If  we  are  not  rich  enough  to  purchase  a  splendid  property,  we  can 
at  least  secure  ease  and  competency  to  •  ourselves."  "  A  cabin," 
answered  I,  "would  be  large  enough  for  my  most  ambitious 
thoughts.  Though  scarcely  at  the  middle  period  of  life,  the  world 
has  lost  its  charms  for  me ;  its  hopes,  its  fears,  its  cares,  its  duties, 
are  all  absorbed  in  the  selfishness  of  philosophical  retirement. 
Independently  of  these  principles,  I  can  assure  you  I  have  painted 
for  myself  a  rural  landscape,  with  a  foreground  of  innocent  pleas- 
ures, and  pastoral  simplicity  in  the  perspective.  Already  does  the 
enamel  of  the  meadows  glitter  under  my  eyes;  already  does  the 
river's  murmur  accord  with  the  winged  chorus  of  the  grove ;  hunt- 
ing exasperates  the  manly  virtues,  and  fishing  preaches  patience. 
Only  figure  to  yourself,  my  friend,  what  a  continual  round  of 
amusement  solitude  may  furnish,  and  you  will  pant  to  be  admitted 
of  her  crew.  Then,  for  the  economy  of  our  table,  the  simplest  will 
be  the  cheapest,  and  of  course  the  best.  Unadulterated  Ceres  shall 
be  our  official  caterer ;  when  hunger  shall  have  tamed  our  fastidious 
appetites  into  sobriety,  a  mumbled  crust  will  relish  like  an  ortolan. 
The  supreme  delight  of  eating  is  not  in  the  thing  eaten,  but  in  the 
palate  of  him  who  eats — a  proposition  in  culinary  philosophy 
proved  by  the  frequent  loathing  of  my  own  stomach,  through  a  long 


504  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

series  of  ministerial  dinners.  Abstemiousness  is  a  luxury  of  the 
most  exquisite  refinement,  and  the  best  recipe  in  the  materia 
medica." 

"  With  your  good  leave,  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  interrupted  my  secre- 
tary, "  I  am  not  altogether  of  your  mind  respecting  the  luscious 
treat  of  abstemiousness.  Why  should  we  mess  like  the  bankrupt 
sages  of  antiquity?  Surely  we  may  indulge  the  carnal  man  a  little, 
without  any  reasonable  offence  to  the  spiritual.  Since  we  have,  by 
the  blessing  of  Providence  and  my  forecast,  wherewithal  to  keep  the 
spit  and  the  spigot  in  exercise,  do  not  let  us  take  up  our  abode  with 
famine  and  wretchedness.  As  soon  as  we  get  settled,  we  must  stock 
our  cellar,  and  establish  a  respectable  larder,  like  people  who  know 
what  is  what,  and  do  not  separate  themselves  from  the  vulgar 
crowd  to  renounce  the  good  things  of  this  life,  but  to  taste  them 
with  a  more  exquisite  relish.    As  Hesiod  says, — 


And  again, — 


'  Enjoy  thy  riches  with  a  liberal  soul ; 
Plenteous  the  feast,  and  smiling  be  the  bowl.' 

'  To  stint  the  wine  a  frugal  husband  shows. 
When  from  the  middle  of  the  cask  it  flows.'  " 


"  What  the  devil.  Master  Scipio,"  interrupted  I  in  my  turn,  "you 
can  cap  verses  out  of  the  Greek  poets  I  And  pray  where  did  you 
get  acquainted  with  Hesiod  ?"  "  In  very  learned  company,"  he 
answered.  "  I  lived  some  time  with  a  walking  dictionary  at  Sala- 
manca, a  fellow  up  to  the  elbows  in  quotation  and  commentary.  He 
could  put  a  large  volume  together  like  a  house  of  cards.  His 
library  furnished  him  with  a  hodge-podge  of  Hebrew,  Greek,  and 
Latin  commonplaces,  which  he  translated  into  buckram  Castilian. 
As  I  was  his  transcriber,  some  tags  of  verses,  stings  of  epigrams,  and 
sage  truisms,  stuck  by  the  way."  "  With  such  an  apparatus,"  re- 
plied I,  "  your  memory  must  be  philosophically  stocked.  But,  not 
to  lose  sight  of  our  future  prospects,  whereabouts  in  Spain  had  we 
best  fix  our  Socratic  abode?"  "  My  voice  is  for  Arragon,"  resumed 
my  counsellor.  "  We  shall  there  enjoy  all  the  beauties  of  nature, 
and  lead  the  life  of  Paradise."  "Well,  then,  for  Arragon,"  said 
I.  "  May  it  teem  with  all  the  dear  delights  that  youthful  poets 
fancy  when  they  dream  1" 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8.  506 


CHAPTER   X. 

THBIB  DOINGS  AT  MADRID.     THE  EENCOUNTER  OF  GIL  BLAS  IN  THE 
STREET,   AND  ITS  CONSEQUENCES. 

ON  our  arrival  in  Madrid,  we  alighted  at  a  little  public-house 
where  Scipio  had  been  accustomed  to  put  up,  whence  our  first 
visit  was  to  my  banker,  Salero.  He  received  us  very  cordially,  and 
expressed  the  highest  satisfaction  at  my  release.  "  Indeed,"  added 
he,  "your  untoward  fate  touched  me  so  nearly  as  to  change  my 
views  of  a  political  alliance.  The  fortunes  of  courtiers  are  like 
castles  in  the  air,  so  I  have  married  my  daughter  Gabriela  to  a 
wealthy  trader."  "  You  have  acted  very  wisely,"  answered  I,  "  for 
besides  that  a  bird  in  the  hand  is  worth  two  in  the  bush,  when  a 
plodding  citizen  aspires  to  the  honor  of  bringing  a  man  of  fashion 
into  his  family,  he  very  often  has  an  impertinent  puppy  for  his 
son-in-law." 

Then  changing  the  topic,  and  coming  to  the  point,  I  said,  "Signor 
Gabriel,  we  came  to  talk  a  little  about  the  two  thousand  pistoles 
which"  ..."  Your  money  is  all  ready,"  said  the  goldsmith,  inter- 
rupting me.  He  then  took  us  into  his  closet,  and  delivered  the  two 
bags,  carefijlly  labelled  with  my  name  on  them. 

I  thanked  Salero  for  his  exactness,  and  Heaven  in  my  sleeve  for 
my  escape  from  his  daughter.  At  our  inn  we  counted  over  the 
money,  and  found  it  right,  deducting  fifty  doubloons  for  the  ex- 
penses of  my  enlargement.  Our  thoughts  were  now  wholly  bent 
upon  Arragon.  My  secretary  undertook  to  buy  a  carriage  and  two 
mules.  It  was  my  office  to  provide  household  and  body  linen. 
During  my  peregrinations  for  that  purppse,  I  met  Baron  Steinbach, 
the  officer  in  the  German  Guards  with  whom  Don  Alphonso  had 
been  brought  up. 

I  touched  my  hat  to  him '.  he  knew  me  again,  and  returned  my 
greeting  warmly.  "  My  joy  is  extreme,''  said  I,  "  at  seeing  your 
lordship  in  such  fine  health,  to  say  nothing  of  my  wish  to  inquire 
after  Don  Caesar  and  Don  Alphonso  de  Ley  va."  "  They  are  both 
in  Madrid,"  answered  he,  "  and  staying  at  my  house.  They  came 
to  town  about  three  months  ago,  to  be  presented  on  occasion  of  Don 
Alphonso's  promotion.  He  has  been  appointed  Governor  of  Va- 
lencia, on  the  score  of  old  family  claims,  without  having  in  any 
shape  pushed  his  interest  at  court.  Nothing  could  be  more  grateful 
to  his  feelings,  or  prove  more  strongly  our  royal  master's  goodness, 
who  delights  to  recognize  the  merits  of  ancestry  in  the  persons  of 
their  descendants." 


506  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

Though  I  knew  more  of  this  matter  than  Steinbach,  I  kept  my 
knowledge  in  the  background.  Yet  so  lively  was  my  impatience  to 
hail  my  old  masters,  that  he  would  not  damp  my  ardor  by  delay. 
I  had  a  mind  to  try  Don  Alphonso,  whether  he  still  retained  his 
regard  for  me.  He  was  playing  at  chess  with  Baroness  Steinbach. 
On  my  entrance,  he  started  up  from  his  game,  ran  towards  me,  and 
squeezing  me  tight  in  his  embrace,  "  Santillane,"  said  he,  with  de- 
monstrations of  the  sincerest  joy,  "at  length,  then,  you  are  restored 
to  my  heart.  I  am  delighted  at  it !  It  was  not  my  fault  that  we 
ever  parted.  You  may  remember  how  strongly  I  urged  you  not  to 
withdraw  from  the  Castle  of  Ley  va.  You  were  deaf  to  my  entreaties. 
But  I  must  not  chide  your  obstinacy,  because  its  motive  was  the 
peace  of  the  family.  Yet  you  ought  to  have  let  me  hear  from  you, 
and  to  have  spared  my  fruitless  inquiries  at  Granada,  where  my 
brother-in-law,  Don  Ferdinand,  sent  me  word  that  you  were. 

"  And  now  tell  me  what  you  are  doing  at  Madrid.  Of  course  you 
have  some  situation  here.  Be  assured  that  I  shall  always  take  a 
lively  interest  in  your  concerns."  "Sir,"  answered  I,  "  it  is  but  four 
months  since  I  occupied  a  considerable  post  at  court.  I  had  the 
honor  of  being  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  confidential  secretary."  "  Can 
it  be  possible?"  exclaimed  Don  Alphonso,  as  if  he  could  scarcely 
believe  his  ears.  "  What,  were  you  so  near  the  person  of  the  prime 
minister?"  I  then  related  how  I  had  gained  and  lost  his  favor,  and 
ended  with  avowing  my  determination  to  buy  a  cottage  and  garden 
with  the  wreck  of  my  shattered  fortunes. 

The  son  of  Don  Caesar  heard  me  attentively,  and  made  this  answer: 
"My  dear  Gil  Bias,  you  know  how  I  have  always  loved  you ;  nor  shall 
you  longer  be  Fortune's  puppet.  I  will  set  you  above  her  vagaries, 
by  securing  you  an  independence.  Since  you  declare  for  a  country 
life,  a  little  estate  of  ours  near  Lirias,  about  four  leagues  from  Va- 
lencia, shall  be  settled  on  you.  You  are  acquainted  with  the  spot. 
Such  a  present  we  can  make  without  putting  ourselves  to  the  least 
inconvenience.  I  can  answer  for  my  father's  joining  in  the  act,  and 
for  Seraphina's  entire  approbation." 

I  threw  myself  at  Don  Alphonso's  feet,  who  raised  me  immedi- 
ately. More  penetrated  by  his  affection  than  by  his  bounty,  I  pressed 
his  hand  and  said,  "  Sir,  your  conduct  charms  me.  Your  noble  gift 
is  the  more  welcome  as  it  precedes  the  knowledge  of  a  service  it  has 
been  in  my  power  to  render  you ;  and  T  had  rather  owe  it  to  your 
generosity  than  to  your  gratitude."  This  governor  of  my  making 
did  not  know  what  to  understand  by  the  hint,  and  pressed  for  an 
explanation.  I  gave  it  in  full,  to  his  utter  astonishment.  Neither 
he  nor  Baron  Steinbach  could  ever  have  the  slightest  suspicion  that 
the  government  of  Valencia  was  owing  to  my  interest  at  court.  Yet, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  607 

having  no  reason  to  doubt  the  fact,  my  friend  proposed  to  grant  me 
an  annuity  of  two  thousand  ducats,  in  addition  to  the  little  farm  at 
Lirias. 

"  Hold  your  hand,  Signor  Don  Alphonso,"  exclaimed  I,  at  this 
offer.  "  You  must  not  set  my.  avarice  afloat  again.  I  am  myself  a 
living  witness  that  Fortune  may  give  superfluities  to  her  favorites, 
but  has  no  competence  to  bestow.  With  pleasure  will  I  accept  of 
the  estate  at  Lirias,  where  my  present  property  will  be  sufficient  for 
all  my  wants.  Eather  than  increase  my  cares  with  my  possessions, 
I  would  build  a  hospital  out  of  my  existing  funds.  Kiches  are  a 
burden ;  and  it  must  be  a  foolish  animal  that  would  bear  fardels  in 
the  manger  or  the  field." 

While  we  were  talking  after  this  fashion,  Don  Caesar  came  in. 
His  joy  was  not  less  than  his  son's  at  the  sight  of  me;  and  being  in- 
formed of  the  family  obligations,  he  again  pressed  me  to  accept  of 
the  annuity,  which  I  again  refused.  When  the  writings  were  drawn 
the  father  and  son  made  the  assignment  their  joint  act  and  deed, 
transferring  to  me  the  fee  simple,  and  putting  me  in  immediate  pos- 
session. My  secretary  half  stared  the  eyes  out  of  his  head  when  I 
told  him  we  had  a  landed  estate  of  our  own,  and  how  we  came  by 
it.  "What  is  the  value  of  this*little  freehold?"  says  he.  "Five 
hundred  ducats  per  annum,"  answered  I ;  "  and  the  farm  in  high 
cultivation,  within  a  ring  fence.  I  have  often  been  there  during  my 
stewardship.  There  is  a  small  house  on  the  banks  of  the  Guadala- 
viar,  in  a  little  hamlet  surrounded  by  a  charming  country." 

"What  pleases  me  better  than  all,"  cried  Scipio,  "is  that  we  shall 
have  plenty  of  sporting,  rare  living,  and  excellent  wine.  Come, 
master,  let  us  leave  this  crowded  city,  and  hasten  to  our  hermitage." 
"I  long  to  be  there  as  much  as  you  can  do,"  answered  I ;  "but  I 
must  first  go  to  the  Asturias.  My  father  and  mother  are  not  in 
comfortable  circumstances.  They  shall  therefore  end  their  days 
with  me  at  Lirias.  Heaven,  perhaps,  has  thrown  this  windfall  in 
my  way  to  try  my  filial  duty,  and  would  punish  me  for  the  neglect 
of  it."  Scipio  approved  my  purpose,  and  urged  its  speedy  execu- 
tion. "  Yes,  my  friend,"  said  I, "  we  will  set  out  as  soon  as  possible. 
I  shall  consider  it  as  my  dear  delight  to  share  the  gifts  of  fortune 
with  the  authors  of  my  existence.  We  shall  soon  be  settled  in  our 
country  retreat ;  and  then  will  I  write  these  two  Latin  verses  over 
the  door  of  my  farm-house,  in  letters  of  gold,  for  the  pious  edifica* 
tion  of  my  rustic  neighbors : — 

'  Inveni  portum.    Spes  et  fortuna,  valete. 
Sat  me  lusistis ;  ludite  nunc  alios.' " 


608  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


BOOK   X. 


CHAPTER   I. 

GIL  "BTuAS  SETS  OUT  FOE  THE  ASTTIKIAS,  AND  PASSES  THROUGH  VALLA* 
DOLID.     HE  GOES  TO  SEE  DOCTOR  SANGRADO. 

JUST  as  I  was  arranging  matters  to  tate  my  departure  from 
Madrid,  and  go  with  Scipio  to  the  Asturias,  Paul  V.  gave  the 
Duke  of  Lerma  a  cardinal's  hat.  This  pope,  wishing  to  establish 
the  Inquisition  in  the  kingdom  of  Naples,  invested  the  minister 
with  the  purple,  and  by  that  means  hoped  to  bring  King  Philip 
over  to  so  pious  and  praiseworthy  a  design.  Those  who  were  best 
acquainted  with  this  new  member  of  the  sacred  college  thought, 
much  like  myself,  that  the  church  was  in  a  fair  way  for  apostolical 
purity,  after  so  ghostly  an  acquisition. 

Scipio,  who  would  have  liked  better  to  see  me  once  more  blazing 
at  court,  than  either  cloistered  or  rusticated,  advised  me  to  show 
my  face  at  the  cardinal's  audience.  "  Perhaps,"  said  he,  "  his 
eminence,  finding  you  at  large  by  the  king's  order,  may  think  it 
unnecessary  to  affect  any  further  displeasure  against  you,  and  may 
even  reinstate  you  in  his  service."  "  My  good  friend  Scipio,"  an- 
swered I,  "  you  seem  to  forget  that  my  liberty  was  granted  only  on 
condition  of  making  myself  scarce  in  the  two  Castilles.  Besides, 
can  you  suppose  me  so  soon  inclined  to  become  an  absentee  from 
my  domain  of  Lirias  ?  I  have  told  you  before,  and  I  tell  it  you 
once  again,  though  the  Duke  of  Lerma  should  restore  me  to  his 
good  graces,  though  he  should  even  offer  me  Don  Rodrigo  de  Cal- 
derona's  place,  I  would  refuse  it.  My  resolution  is  taken :  I  mean 
to  go  and  find  out  my  parents  at  Oviedo,  and  carry  them  with  me  to 
Valencia.  As  for  you,  my  good  fellow,  if  you  repent  of  having 
linked  your  fate  with  mine,  you  have  only  to  say  so ;  I  am  ready 
to  give  you  half  of  my  ready  money,  and  you  may  stay  at  Madrid, 
where  Fortune  puts  on  her  kindest  smiles  to  those  who  woo  her 
lustily." 

"What,  then,"  replied  my  secretary,  a  little  affected  by  these 
words,  "  can  you  suspect  me  of  any  unwillingness  to  follow  you  into 
your  retreat?  The  very  idea  is  an  injury  to  my  zeal  and  ray  attach- 
ment. What,  Scipio !  that  faithful  appendage,  who  would  willingly 
have  passed  the  remnant  of  his  days  with  you  in  the  tower  of  Se- 
govia rather  than  abandon  you  to  your  wretched  fate,  can  he  feel 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  509 

sorrowful  at  the  prospect  of  an  abode  where  a  thousand  rural  delights 
are  waiting  to  smile  on  his  arrival  ?  No,  no,  I  have  not  a  wish  to 
turn  you  aside  from  your  resolution.  Nor  can  I  refrain  from  own- 
ing my  malicious  drift ;  when  I  advised  you  to  show  your  face  at 
the  Duke  of  Lerma's  audience,  it  was  for  the  purpose  of  ascertain- 
ing whether  any  seedlings  of  ambition  were  scattered  among  the 
fallows  of  your  philosophy.  Since  that  point  is  settled,  and  you 
are  mortified  to  all  the  pomps  and  vanities  of  the  world,  let  us 
make  the  best  of  our  way  from  court,  to  go  and  suck  in  with 
Zephyrus  and  Flora  the  innocent,  delicious  pleasures  so  luxuriant 
in  the  nursery  of  our  imaginations." 

In  fact,  we  soon  afterwards  took  our  departure  together,  in  a 
chaise  drawn  by  two  good  mules,  driven  by  a  postilion  whom  I  had 
added  to  my  establishment.  We  stopped  the  first  day  at  Aicala  de 
Henarfes,  and  the  second  at  Segovia,  whence,  without  stopping  to 
see  our  generous  warden,  Tordesillas,  we  went  forward  to  Penafiel 
on  the  Duero,  and  the  next  day  to  Valladolid.  At  sight  of  this 
large  town,  I  could  not  help  fetching  a  deep  sigh.  My  companion, 
surprised  at  that  conscientious  ventilation,  inquired  the  reason  of 
it.  "  My  good  fellow,"  said  I,^ "  it  is  because  I  practiced  medicine 
here  for  a  long  time.  It  gives  me  the  horrors,  even  now,  to  think 
of  my  unexpiated  murders.  The  whole  list  of  killed  and  wounded 
are  mustered  in  battle  array  yonder :  the  tomb  and  the  hospital 
yawn  with  their  disgorged  inhabitants,  who  are  rushing  on  to  tear 
me  piecemeal,  and  exact  the  vengeance  due  to  the  drenched  crew." 
"  What  a  dreadful  fancy !"  said  my  secretary.  "  In  truth,  Signor  de 
Santillane,  your  nature  is  too  tender.  Why  should  you  be  shocked 
at  the  common  course  of  exchange  in  your  branch  of  trade?  Look 
at  all  the  oldest  physicians :  their  withers  are  unwrung.  What  can 
exceed  the  self-complacency  with  which  they  view  the  exits  of  pa- 
tients and  the  entrances  of  diseases  ?  Natural  constitution  bears 
the  brunt  of  all  their  failures,  and  medical  infallibility  takes  the 
credit  of  lucky  accidents." 

"  It  is  very  true,"  replied  I,  "  that  Doctor  Sangrado,  on  whose 
practice  I  formed  myself,  was  like  the  rest  of  old  physicians  in  point 
of  self-complacency.  It  was  to  little  purpose  that  twenty  people  in 
a  day  yielded  to  his  prowess  ;  he  was  so  persuaded  that  bleeding  in 
the  arm  and  copious  libations  of  warm  water  were  specifics  for  every 
case,  that  instead  of  doubting  whether  the  death  of  his  patient  might 
not  possibly  invalidate  the  efficacy  of  his  prescriptions,  he  ascribed 
the  result  to  a  vacillating  compliance  with  his  system."  "  By  all 
the  powers  I"  cried  Scipio  with  a  burst  of  laughter,  "  you  open  to  me 
an  incomparable  character."  "If  you  have  any  curiosity  to  be 
better  acquainted  with  him,"  said  I,  "  it  may  be  gratified  to-morrow. 


510  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

should  Sangrado  be  still  living,  and  resident  at  Valladolid  :  but  it  is 
highly  improbable  ;  for  he  had  one  foot  in  the  grave  when  I  left  him 
several  years  ago."  Our  first  care,  on  putting  up  at  the  inn,  was  to 
inquire  after  this  doctor.  We  were  told  that  he  was  not  dead ;  but, 
being  incapacitated  by  age  from  paying  visits  or  any  other  vigorous 
exertions,  he  had  been  superseded  by  three  or  four  other  doctors 
who  had  risen  into  repute  by  a  new  practice,  accomplishing  the  same 
end  by  different  means.  We  determined  on  lying  by  for  a  day  at 
Valladolid,  as  well  to  rest  our  mules  as  to  call  on  Signor  Sangrado. 
About  ten  o'clock  next  morning  we  knocked  at  his  door,  and  found 
him  sitting  in  his  elbow-chair,  with  a  book  in  his  hand.  He  rose 
on  our  entrance,  advanced  to  meet  us  with  a  firm  step  for  a  man  of 
seventy,  and  begged  to  know  our  business.  "  My  worthy  and  ap- 
proved good  master,"  said  I,  "  have  you  lost  all  recollection  of  an 
old  pupil  ?  There  was  formerly  one  Gil  Bias,  as  you  may  remem- 
ber, a  boarder  in  your  house,  and  for  some  time  your  deputy." 
"  What  I  is  it  you,  Santillane  ?"  answered  he,  with  a  cordial  embrace. 
"  I  should  not  have  known  you  again.  It,  however,  gives  me  great 
pleasure  to  see  you  once  more.  What  have  you  been  doing  since  we 
parted  ?  Doubtless  you  have  made  medicine  your  profession."  "  It 
was  very  strongly  my  inclination  so  to  do,"  replied  I ;  "  but  im- 
perious circumstances  made  me  reluctantly  abandon  so  illustrious  a 
calling." 

"  So  much  the  worse,"  rejoined  Sangrado :  "  with  the  principles 
you  sucked  in  under  my  tuition,  you  would  have  become  a  physician 
of  the  first  skill  and  eminence,  with  the  guiding  influence  of  Heaven 
to  defend  you  from  the  dangerous  allurements  of  chemistry.  Ah, 
my  son !"  pursued  he  with  a  mournful  air,  "  what  a  change  in  prac- 
tice within  these  few  years  1  The  whole  honor  and  dignity  of  the  art  is 
compromised.  That  mystery  by  whose  inscrutable  decrees  the  lives 
of  men  have  in  all  ages  been  determined,  is  now  laid  open  to  the 
rude,  untutored  gaze  of  blockheads,  novices,  and  mountebanks. 
Facts  are  stubborn  things ;  and  ere  long  the  very  stones  will  cry 
aloud  against  the  rascality  of  these  new  practitioners :  lapides  clama- 
burUl  Why,  sir,  there  are  fellows  in  this  town,  calling  themselves 
physicians,  who  drag  their  degraded  persons  at  the  cun-us  triumphalis 
antimonii,  or,  as  it  should  properly  be  translated,  the  cart's  tail  of  an- 
timony. Apostates  from  the  faith  of  Paracelsus,  idolaters  of  filthy 
kermes,  healers  at  haphazard,  who  make  all  the  science  of  medicine 
to  consist  in  the  preparation  and  prescription  of  drugs !  What  a 
change  have  I  to  announce  to  you  I  There  is  not  one  stone  left  upon 
another  in  the  whole  structure  which  our  great  predecessors  had 
raised.  Bleeding  in  the  feet,  for  example,  so  rarely  practiced  in 
better  times,  is-  now  among  the  fashionable  follies  of  the  day.    That 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  611 

gentle,  civilized  system  of  evacuation,  which  prevailed  under  my 
auspices,  is  subverted  by  the  reign  of  anarchy  and  emetics,  of  quack- 
ery and  poison.  In  short,  chaos  has  come  again  !  Every  one  orders 
what  seems  good  in  his  own  eyes;  there  is  no  deference  to  the 
authority  of  ancient  wisdom  ;  our  masters  are  laid  upon  the  shelf, 
and  their  axioms  not  one  tittle  the  more  regarded  for  being  deliv- 
ered in  languages  as  defunct  as  the  subjects  of  their  application," 

However  desirable  it  might  seem  to  laugh  at  so  whimsical  a  de- 
clamation, I  had  the  good  manners  to  resist  the  impulse ;  and  not 
only  that,  but  to  inveigh  bitterly  against  kermes,  without  knowing 
whether  it  was  a  vegetable  or  an  animal,  and  to  pour  forth  a  com- 
mination  of  curses  against  the  authors  and  inventors  of  so  diabolical 
an  engine.  Scipio,  observing  my  by-play  in  this  scene,  had  a  mind 
to  come  in  for  his  share  in  the  banter.  "  Most  venerable  prop  of  the 
true  practice,"  said  he  toSangrado,  "  as  I  am  descended  in  the  third 
generation  from  a  physician  of  the  old  school,  give  me  leave  to  join 
you  in  your  philippic  against  chemical  conspiracies.  My  late  illus- 
trious progenitor — Heaven  forgive  him  all  his  sins ! — was  so  warm  a 
partisan  of  Hippocrates,  that  he  often  came  to  blows  with  ignorant 
pretenders,  who  vomited  forth  blasphemies  against  that  high  priest 
of  the  faculty.  What  is  bred  in  the  bone  will  not  come  out  of  the 
flesh  :  I  could  willingly  inflict  tortures  and  death  with  my  own  hands 
on  those  rash  innovators  whose  daring  enormities  you  have  charac- 
terized with  such  accuracy  of  discrimination  and  such  force  of  lan- 
guage. When  wretches  like  these  gain  an  ascendency  in  civilized 
society,  can  we  wonder  at  the  disjointed  condition  of  the  world  ?" 

"  The  times  are  even  more  out  of  joint  than  you  are  aware  of," 
said  the  doctor.  "  My  book  against  the  vanities  and  delusions  of  the 
new  practice  might  as  well  have  fkllen  still-born  from  the  press  ;  it 
seems,  if  anything,  to  have  acted  by  contraries,  and  to  have  exaspe- 
rated heresy.  The  apothecaries,  like  the  Titans  of  old,  heaping 
potion  upon  pill,  and  invading  the  Olympus  of  medicine,  think 
themselves  fully  qualified  to  usurp  and  maintain  the  throne,  now 
that  it  is  only  thought  necessary  to  set  open  the  doors,  and  to  drive 
the  enemy  out  at  the  portal  or  the  postern  by  main  force.  They  go 
to  the  length  of  infusing  their  deadly  drugs  into  apozems  and  cor- 
dials, and  then  set  themselves  up  against  the  most  eminent  of  the 
fraternity.  This  contagion  has  spread  its  influence  even  among  the 
cloisters.  There  are  monks  in  our  convents  who  unite  surgery  and 
pharmacy  to  the  labors  of  the  confessional.  These  medical  baboons 
are  always  dipping  their  paws  into  chemistry,  and  inventing  compo- 
sitions strong  enough  to  lay  a  scene  of  ecclesiastical  mortality  in  the 
temperate  abodes  of  peace  and  religion.  Now,  there  are  in  Valla- 
dolid  above  sixty  religious  houses  for  both  sexes :  judge  what  ravage 


512  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

must  have  been  made  there  by  unmerciful  pumping  and  the  lancet 
misapplied."  "  Signer  Saugrado,"  said  I,  "  you  are  perfectly  in  flie 
right  to  give  these  poisoners  no  quarter.  I  utter  groan  for  groan 
with  you,  and  heave  the  philanthropic  sigh  over  the  invaded  lives 
of  our  fellow-creatures,  sinking  under  the  fell  attack  of  so  heterodox 
a  practice.  It  fills  me  with  horror  to  think  what  a  dead  weight 
chemistry  may  one  day  be  to  medicine,  just  as  adulterated  coin 
operates  on  national  credit.  Far  be  that  evil  day  from  this  gene- 
ration 1" 

Just  at  this  climax  of  our  discourse,  in  came  an  old  female  ser- 
vant, with  a  salver  for  the  doctor,  on  which  were  a  little  light  roll 
and  a  glass  with  two  decanters,  the  one  filled  with  water  and  the 
other  with  wine.  After  he  had  eaten  a  slice,  he  washed  it  down 
with  a  diluted  beverage,  two  parts  water  to  one  of  wine;  but  this 
temperate  use  of  the  good  creature  did-  not  at  all  save  him  from  the 
acrimony  of  my  ridicule.  "So  so,  good  master  doctor,"  said  I, 
"you  are  fairly  caught  in  the  fact.  You  a  wine-bibber?  you,  who 
have  entered  the  lists  like  a  knight-errant  against  that  unauthenti- 
cated  fermentation?  you,  who  reached  your  grand  climacteric  on 
the  strength  of  the  pure  element?  How  long  have  you  been  so  at 
odds  with  yourself?  Your  time  of  life  can  be  no  excuse  for  the 
alteration  :  since,  in  one  passage  of  your  writings,  you  define  old 
age  to  be  a  natural  consumption,  which  withers  and  attenuates  the 
system ;  and  as  an  inference  from  that  position,  you  reprobate  the 
ignorance  of  those  writers  who  dignify  wine  with  the  appellation 
of  old  men's  milk.  What  can  you  say,  therefore,  in  your  own  de- 
fence?" 

"  You  belabor  me  most  unjustly,"  answered  the  old  physician. 
"  If  I  drank  neat  wine,  you  would  have  a  right  to  treat  me  as  a 
deserter  from  my  own  standard ;  but  your  eyes  may  convince  you 
that  my  wine  is  well  mixed."  "Another  heresy,  my  dear  apostle 
of  the  wells  and  fountains!"  replied  I.  "Recollect  how  you  rated 
the  canon  Sedillo  for  drinking  wine,  though  plentifully  dashed  with 
the  salubrious  fluid.  Own  modestly  and  candidly  that  your  theory 
was  unfounded  and  fanciful,  and  that  wine  is  not  a  poisonous 
liquor,  as  you  have  so  falsely  and  scandalously  libelled  it  in  your 
works,  any  further  than,  like  any  other  of  nature's  bounties,  it  may 
be  abused  to  excess." 

This  lecture  sat  rather  uneasily  on  our  doctor's  feelings  as  a  can- 
didate for  consistency.  He  could  not  deny  his  inveteracy  against 
the  use  of  wine  in  all  his  publications ;  but  pride  and  vanity  not 
allowing  him  to  acknowledge  the  justice  of  my  attack  on  his  apos- 
tasy, he  was  left  without  a  word  to  say  for  himself.  Not  wishing  to 
push  my  sarcasm  beyond  the  bounds  of  good  humor,  I  changed  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  513 

subject;  and  after  a  few  minutes'  longer  stay,  took  my  leave,  gravely 
exltorting  him  to  maintain  his  ground  against  the  new  practitioners. 
"  Courage,  Signor  Sangrado  !"  said  I ,  "  never  be  weary  of  setting 
your  wits  against  kermes ;  and  deafen  the  health-dispensing  tribe 
with  your  thunders  against  the  use  of  bleeding  in  the  feet.  If,  spite 
of  all  your  zeal  and  affection  for  medical  orthodoxy,  this  empiric 
generation  should  succeed  in  supplanting  true  and  legitimate  prac- 
tice, it  would  be  at  least  your  consolation  to  have  exhausted  your 
best  endeavors  in  the  support  of  truth  and  reason  " 

As  my  secretary  and  myself  were  walking  to  the  inn,  making  our 
observations  in  high  glee  on  the  doctor's  entertaining  and  original 
character,  a  man  from  fifty-five  to  sixty  years  of  age  happened  to 
pass  near  us  in  the  street,  walking  with  his  eyes  fixed  on  the  ground, 
and  a  large  rosary  in  his  hand.  I  conned  over  the  distinctive  cut 
of  his  appearance  most  cunningly,  and  was  rewarded  in  the  recog- 
nition of  Signor  Manuel  Ordonnez,  that  faithful  trustee  for  the 
afiairs  of  the  hospital,  of  whom  so  honorable  mention  is  made  in 
the  first  volume  of  these  true  -and  instructive  memoirs.  Accosting 
him-  with  the  most  profound  and  unquestionable  tokens  of  respect, 
I  paid  my  compliments  in  due  form  and  order  to  the  venerable  and 
trustworthy  Signor  Manuel  Ordonnez,  "  the  man  of  all  the  world 
in  whose  hands  the  interests  of  the  poor  and  needy  are  most  safely 
and  beneficially  placed."  At  those  words  he  looked  me  steadfastly 
in  the  face,  and  answered  that  my  features  were  not  altogether 
strange  to  him,  but  that  he  could  not  recollect  where  he  had  seen 
me.  "I  used  to  go  backwards  and  forwards  to  your  house,"  replied 
I,  "  when  one  of  my  friends,  by  name  Fabricio  Nunez,  was  in  your 
service."  "  Ah !  I  recollect  the  circumstance  at  once,"  rejoined  the 
worthy  director,  with  a  cunning  leer,  "  and  have  good  reason  to  do 
so ;  for  you  were  a  brace  of  pleasant  lads,  and  were  by  no  means 
backward  in  the  little  scapegrace  tricks  of  youth  and  inexperience. 
Well !  and  what  is  become  of  poor  Fabricio?  Whenever  he  comes 
across  my  thoughts,  I  cannot  help  feeling  a  little  uneasy  about  his 
temporal  and  eternal  welfare." 

"  It  was  to  relieve  your  mind  upon  that  subject,"  said  I  to  Signor 
Manuel,  "that  I  have  taken  the  liberty  of  stopping  you  in  the 
street.  Fabricio  is  settled  at  Madrid,  where  he  employs  himself 
in  publishing  miscellanies  and  collections."  "  What  do  you  mean 
by  miscellanies  and  collections?"  replied  he.  "I  mean,"  resumed 
I,  "that  he  writes  in  verse  and  prose,  from  epic  poems  and  the 
highest  branches  of  philosophy,  down  to  plays,  novels,  epigrams, 
and  riddles.  In  short,  he  is  a  lad  of  universal  genius,  and  most 
exemplary  benevolence;  sometimes  modestly  taking  to  himself  the 
credit  of  his  own  compositions,  and  sometimes  lending  out  his 
33 


614  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS, 

talents  to  the  literary  ambition  of  those  noblemen  who  write  for 
their  own  amusement,  but  wish  their  names  to  be  concealed,  except 
from  a  chosen  circle.  By  traffic  like  this,  he  sits  at  the  very  first 
tables."  "But  how  does  he  sit  at  his  own?"  said  the  director; 
"upon  what  terms  does  he  live  with  his  baker?"  "Not  quite  so 
confidentially  as  with  people  of  fashion,"  answered  I ;  "  for,  between 
ourselves,  I  take  him  to  be  quite  as  much  out  at  elbows  as  ever  Job 
was."  "  More  bonds  and  judgments  against  him  than  ever  Job  had, 
take  my  word  for  it !"  replied  Ordonnez.  "  Let  him  lick  the  spittle 
of  his  titled  friends  and  patrons,  till  his  stomach  heaves  at  the 
nauseating  saliva;  his  printed  dedications  and  his  oral  flattery,  in 
spite  of  all  the  cringing  and  all  the  toad-eating  which  constitute 
the  stock  in  trade  of  his  profession,  with  all  the  profits  of  his  works, 
whether  by  subscription  or  ordinary  publication,  will  not  bring  grist 
enough  to  his  mill  to  keep  hunger  from  the  door  Mind  if  what 
I  say  does  not  turn  out  to  be  true !  He  will  come  to  the  dogs  at 
last." 

"  Nothing  more  likely,"  replied  I,  "  for  he  cohabits  with  the 
muses  already,  and  many  a  plain  man  has  found  to  his  cost  that 
there  is  no  keeping  company  with  the  sisters  without  being  worried 
by  their  bullying  brethren.  My  friend  Fabricio  would  have  done 
much  better  by  remaining  quietly  with  your  lordship ;  he  would 
now  have  been  lying  on  a  bed  of  roses,  and  everything  he  had 
touched  would  have  turned  to  gold."  "  He  would  at  least  have 
been  in  a  very  snug  berth,"  said  Manuel,  "  He  was  a  great  favorite 
of  mine,  and  I  meant,  by  a  regular  gradation  from  subaltern  to 
principal  situations,  to  have  established  him  in  ease  and  affluence 
on  the  basis  of  public  charity ;  but  the  foolish  fellow  took  it  into 
his  head  to  set  up  for  a  wit.  He  wrote  a  play,  and  brought  it  out 
at  the  theatre  in  this  town.  The  piece  went  off  tolerably  well,  and 
nothing  thenceforth  would  serve  his  turn  but  commencing  author 
by  profession,  Lope  de  Vega,  in  his  estimation,  was  but  a  type  of 
him ;  preferring,  therefore,  the  intoxicating  vapor  of  public  ap- 
plause to  the  plain  roast  and  boiled  of  this  substantial  ordinary,  he 
came  to  me  for  his  discharge.  It  was  to  no  purpose  for  me  to  argue 
the  point,  or  to  prove  to  him  what  a  silly  cur  he  was  to  drop 
the  bone  and  run  after  the  shadow ;  the  mad  blockhead  was  so 
suffocated  by  the  smother  of  authorship,  that  the  instinctive  dread 
of  fire  could  not  rouse  his  alacrity  to  escape  burning.  In  short,  he 
was  miserably  unconscious  of  his  own  interest,  as  his  successor  can 
testify,  for  he,  possessing  practical  good  sense,  though  without  hall 
Fabricio's  quickness  and  versatility,  makes  it  his  whole  study  and 
delight  to  go  through  his  business  in  a  workmanlike  manner,  and  to 
fsiU  ip  with  all  ffly  littlP  ways,     in  return  for  such  good  conduct,  I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  '  515 

pushed  him  forward  in  a  manner  corresponding  with  bis  deserts ; 
and  he  unites  in  his  own  person,  even  at  this  time  of  day,  two 
offices  in  the  hospital,  the  least  lucrative  of  which  would  be  more 
than  sufficient  to  place  any  honest  man  at  his  ease,  though  encum- 
bered with  a  yearly  teeming  wife." 


CHAPTER  II. 


GIL  BLAS  CONTINUES  HIS  JOURNEY,  AND  ARRIVES  AT  OVIEDO.     THE 
CONDITION  OP  HIS  FAMILY.     HIS  FATHER'S  DEATH. 

FROM  Valladolid  we  got  to  Oviedo  in  four  days,  without  any 
untoward  accident  on  the  road,  in  spite  of  the  proverb  which 
says  that  robbers  lay  their  ears  to  the  ground  when  pilgrims  are 
going  with  rich  offerings  and  traders  are  riding  with  fat  purses.  It 
would  have  been  a  feasible  as  well  as  a  tempting  speculation.  Two 
tenants  of  a  subterranean  abode  might  have  presented  an  aspect  to 
have  frightened  our  doubloons  into  a  surrender,  for  courage  was  not 
one  of  the  qualities  I  had  imbibed  at  court,  and  Bertrand,  my  mule- 
driver,  seemed  not  to  be  of  a  temper  to  get  his  brains  blown  out  in 
defending  a  purse  into  which  he  had  no  free  ingress.  Scipio  was  the 
only  one  of  the  party  who  was  anything  of  a  bully. 

It  was  night  when  we  came  into  town.  Our  lodgings  were  at  an 
inn  near  my  uncle,  Gil  Perez,  the  canon.  I  was  very  desirous  of 
ascertaining  the  circumstances  of  ray  parents  before  my  first  inter- 
view with  them,  and  in  order  to  gain  that  information,  it  was  im- 
possible to  make  my  inquiries  in  a  better  channel  than  through  my 
landlord  and  landlady,  into  the  lines  of  whose  faces  you  could  not 
look  without  being  satisfied  that  they  knew  every  tittle  of  their 
neighbors'  concerns.  As  it  turned  out,  the  landlord  recognized  me, 
after  a  diligent  perusal  of  my  features,  and  cried  out,  "  By  Saint 
Antony  of  Padua,  this  is  the  son  of  the  honest  usher  Bias  of  Santil- 
lane !"  "  Ay,  indeed  !"  said  the  hostess,  "  and  so  it  is,  without  a 
single  muscle  altered,  just  for  all  the  world  that  same  little  strip- 
ling Gil  Bias,  of  whom  we  used  to  say  that  he  was  as  saucy  as  he 
was  high.  It  brings  old  times  to  my  memory,  when  he  used  to 
come  hither  with  his  bottle  under  his  arm,  to*  fetch  wine  for  his 
uncle's  supper." 

"Madam,"  said  I,  "you  have  a  most  inveterate  memory  ;  but  for 
goodness'  sake  change  the  subject,  and  tell  me  the  modern  news  of 


51<i  ADYENTUREIS  OF  GIL  BLAH. 

my  family.  My  father  and  mother  are  doubtless  in  no  very  envi- 
able situation."  "  In  good  truth,  you  may  say  that,"  answered  the 
lady  ;  "  you  may  rack  your  brains  as  long  as  you  like,  but  you  will 
never  think  of  anything  half  so  miserable  as  what  they  are  suffering 
at  this  present  moment.  Gil  Perez,  good  soul !  is  defunct  all  down 
one  side  by  a  stroke  of  the  palsy,  and  the  other  half  of  him  is  little 
better  than  a  corpse;  we  cannot  expect  him  to  last  long.  Then 
your  father,  who  went  to  live  with  his  reverence  a  little  while  ago, 
is  troubled  with  an  inflammation  of  the  lungs,  and  is  standing,  as  a 
body  may  say,  quavery-mavery  between  life  and  death,  while  your 
mother,  who  is  not  over  and  above  hale  and  hearty  herself,  is 
obliged  to  nurse  them  both." 

On  this  intelligence,  which  made  me  feel  some  compunctious 
yearnings  of  nature,  I  left  Bertrand  with  my  stud  and  baggage  at 
the  inn ;  theil,  with  my  secretary  at  my  heels,  who  would  not  desert 
me  in  my  time  of  need,  I  repaired  to  my  uncle's  house.  The  mo- 
ment I  came  within  my  mother's  reach,  a  natural  emotion  of 
maternal  instinct  unfolded  to  her  who  I  was,  before  her  eyes  could 
possibly  have  run  over  the  traces  of  my  countenance.  "  Son,"  said 
she,  with  a  melancholy  expression,  after  having  embraced  me, 
"  come  and  be  present  at  your  father's  death  ;  your  visit  is  just  in 
time  to  take  in  all  the  piteous  circumstances  of  so  deplorable  an 
event."  With  this  heartrending  reception,  she  led  me  by  the  hand 
into  a  chamber  where  the  wretched  Bias  of  Santillane,  stretched  on 
a  comfortless  bed,  in  cold  and  dismal  accord  with  the  thinness  of 
his  fortunes,  was  just  entering  on  the  last  great  act  of  human  nature. 
Though  surrounded  by  the  shades  of  death,  he  was  not  quite  uncon- 
scious of  what  was  passing  about  him.  "  My  dearest  friend,"  said 
my  mother,  "  here  is  your  son  Gil  Bias,  who  entreats  your  forgive- 
ness for  all  his  undutiful  behavior,  and  is  come  to  ask  your  blessing 
before  you  die."  At  these  tidings  my  father  opened  his  eyes,  which 
were  on  the  point  of  closing  forever :  he  fixed  them  upon  me,  and 
reading  in  my  countenance,  notwithstanding  the  awful  brink  on 
which  he  stood,  that  I  was  a  sincere  mourner  for  his  loss,  his  feel- 
ings were  recalled  to  sympathy  by  my  sorrow.  He  even  made  an 
attempt  to  speak,  but  his  strength  was  too  much  exhausted.  I  took 
one  of  his  hands  in  mine,  and  while  I  bathed  it  with  my  tears,  in 
speechless  agony  of  soul,  he  breathed  his  last,  as  if  he  had  only 
waited  my  arrival  to  pay  the  debt  of  nature,  and  wing  his  way  to 
scenes  of  untried  being. 

This  event  had  been  too  long  present  to  my  mother's  mind  to 
overwhelm  her  with  any  unparalleled  affliction.  Perhaps  it  sat 
more  heavily  on  me  than  on  her,  though  my  father  had  never  in  his 
life  given  me  reason  to  feel  for  him  as  a  father.    But  besides  that 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  bVJ 

mere  filial  instinct  would  have  made  me  weep  over  his  cold  re- 
mains, I  reproached  myself  with  not  having  contributed  to  the  com- 
fort of  his  latter  days ;  then,  when  I  considered  what  a  hard-hearted 
villain  I  had  been,  1  seemed  to  myself  like  a  monster  of  ingratitude, 
or  rather  like  an  impious  parricide.  My  uncle,  whom  I  afterwards 
saw  lying  at  his  length  on  another  wretched  couch,  and  in  a  most 
lamentable  pickle,  made  me  experience  fresh  agonies  of  upbraiding 
conscience.  "  Unnatural  son  !"  said  I,  communing  with  my  own 
uneasy  thoughts,  "  behold  the  chastisement  of  Heaven  upon  thy 
sins  in  the  disconsolate  condition  of  thy  nearest  relations.  Hadst 
thou  but  thrown  to  them  the  superflux  of  that  abundance  in  which 
before  thy  imprisonment  thou  roUedst,  thou  mightest  have  pro- 
cured for  them  those  little  comforts  which  thy  uncle's  ecclesiastical 
pittance  was  too  scanty  to  furnish,  and  perhaps  have  lengthened  out 
the  term  of  thy  father's  life." 

Gil  Perez  had  fallen  into  a  state  of  second  childhood,  and  was, 
though  numerically  upon  the  list  of  the  living,  in  every  individual 
organ  a  mere  corpse.  His  memory,  nay,  his  very  senses  had  retired 
from  their  allotted  stations  in  his  system.  Bootless  was  it  for  me  to 
strain  him  in  my  pious  arms,  and  lavish  outward  tokens  of  affection 
on  him :  they  might  as  well  have  been  wasted  on  the  desert  air.  To 
as  little  purpose  did  my  mother  ring  in  his  unnerved  ear  that  I  was 
his  nephew  Gil  Bias  ;  he  gazed  at  me  with  a  vacant,  stupid  stare, 
and  gave  neither  sign  nor  answer.  Had  the  ties  of  consanguinity 
and  gratitude  been  all  too  weak  to  awaken  my  tender  sympathy  for 
an  uncle  to  whom  I  owed  the  means  of  my  first  launch  into  the 
world,  the  impression  of  helpless  dotage  on  my  senses  must  have 
softened  me  into  something  like  the  counterfeit  of  virtuous  emotion. 

While  this  scene  was  passing,  Scipio  preserved  a  melancholy 
silence,  sharing  in  all  my  sorrows,  and  mingling  his  sighs  with 
mine  in  the  chastised  luxury  of  friendship.  But  concluding  that 
my  mother,  after  so  long  an  absence,  might  wish  to  have  some  such 
conversation  with  me  as  the  presence  of  a  stranger  must  rather  re- 
press than  promote,  I  drew  him  aside,  saying,  "  Go,  my  good  fellow, 
sit  down  quietly  at  the  inn,  and  leave  me  here  with  my  only  sur- 
viving parent,  who  might  consider  your  company  as  an  intrusion, 
while  talking  over  family  affairs."  Scipio  withdrew,  for  fear  of 
being  a  clog  upon  our  confidence,  and  I  sat  down  with  my  mother 
to  an  interchange  of  communication  which  lasted  all  night.  We 
reciprocally  gave  a  faithful  account  of  all  that  had  happened  to 
each  of  us  since  my  first  sally  from  Oviedo.  She  related  in  full 
measure  and  running  over  all  the  petty  insults,  disappointments, 
and  mortifications  which  she  had  undergone  in  her  pilgrimage  from 
hou.se  to  house  as  a  duenna.    A  great  number  of  these  little  anec- 


518  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

dotes  it  would  have  hurt  my  pride  that  my  secretary  should  have 
uoted  down  in  his  biographical  budget,  though  I  had  never  con- 
cealed from  him  the  ups  and  downs  in  the  lottery  of  my  own  life. 
With  all  the  respect  I  owe  to  my  mother's  sainted  memory,  the  good 
lady  had  not  the  knack  of  going  the  shortest  road  to  the  end  of  a 
story ;  had  she  but  pruned  her  own  memoirs  of  all  luxuriant  circum- 
stances, there  would  not  have  been  materials  for  more  than  a  tithe 
of  her  narrative. 

At  length  she  got  to  the  end  of  her  tether,  and  I  began  my  career. 
With  respect  to  my  general  adventures,  I  passed  them  over  lightly ; 
but  when  I  came  to  speak  of  the  visit  which  the  son  of  Bertrand 
Muscada,  the  grocer  of  Oviedo,  had  paid  me  at  Madrid,  I  enlarged 
with  decent  compunction  on  that  dark  article  in  the  history  of  my 
life.  "  I  must  frankly  own,"  said  I  to  my  mother,  "  that  I  gave  that 
young  fellow  a  very  bad  reception ;  and  he,  doubtless,  in  revenge, 
must  have  drawn  a  hideous  outline  of  my  moral  features."  "  He 
did  you  more  than  justice,  I  trust,"  answered  she;  "  for  he  told  us 
that  he  found  you  so  puffed  and  swollen  with  the  good  fortune 
thrust  upon  you  by  the  prime  minister,  as  scarcely  to  acknowledge 
him  among  your  former  acquaintance ;  and,  when  he  gave  you  a 
moving  description  of  our  miseries,  you  listened  as  if  you  had  no 
interest  in  the  tale,  or  knowledge  of  the  parties.  But  as  fathers  and 
mothers  can  always  find  some  clew  for  palliation  in  the  conduct  of 
their  graceless  children,  we  were  loath  to  believe  that  you  had  so 
bad  a  heart.  Your  arrival  at  Oviedo  justifies  our  favorable  inter- 
pretation, and  those  tears  which  are  now  flowing  down  your  cheeks 
are  so  many  pledges  either  of  your  innocence  or  your  reformation." 

"  Your  constructions  were  too  partial,"  replied  I ;  "  there  was  a 
great  deal  of  truth  in  young  Muscada's  report.  When  he  came  to 
see  me,  all  my  faculties  were  engrossed  by  vanity  and  mammon ; 
ambition,  the  prevailing  devil  which  possessed  me,  left  not  a  thought 
to  throw  away  on  the  desolate  condition  of  my  parents.  It,  there- 
fore, could  be  no  wonder  if,  in  such  a  disposition  of  mind,  I  gave 
rather  a  freezing  reception  to  a  man  who,  accosting  me  in  a  per- 
emptory style,  took  upon  him  to  say,  without  mincing  the  matter, 
that  it  was  well  known  I  was  as  rich  as  a  Jew,  and  therefore  he  ad- 
vised me  to  send  you  a  good  round  sum,  seeing  that  you  were  very 
much  put  to  your  shifts ;  nay,  he  went  so  far  as  to  reproach  me,  in 
phrase  of  more  sincerity  than  good  manners,  with  my  unfeeling  neg- 
ligence of  my  family.  His  confounded  personality  stuck  in  my 
throat;  so  that,  losing  my  little  stock  of  patience,  I  shoved  him 
fairly  by  the  shoulders  out  of  my  closet.  It  must  be  confessed  that 
I  took  the  administration  of  justice  a  little  too  much  into  my  own 
hands,  being  judge  and  party  in  the  same  cause;  neither  was  it 


AD  YEN  TUBES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  519 

proper  that  you  should  bear  the  brunt,  because  the  grocer  was  a 
little  anti-saccharine  in  his  phraseology  ;  nor  was  his  advice  the  less 
pertinent  or  just,  though  couched  in  homely  terms,  or  urged  with 
plodding  vulgarity. 

"  All  this  came  plump  in  the  teeth  of  my  conscience  the  moment 
I  had  turned  Muscada  out  of  doors.  The  voice  of  natural  instinct 
contrived  to  make  its  way ;  my  duty  to  my  parents  brought  the 
blood  into  my  face;  but  it  was  the  blush  of  shame  for  its  neglect,, 
and  not  the  glow  of  triumph  at  its  performance.  Yet  even  my  re- 
morse can  give  me  little  credit  in  your  eyes,  since  it  was  soon  stifled 
in  the  fumes  of  avarice  and  ambition.  But  some  time  afterwards, 
having  been  safely  lodged  in  the  tower  of  Segovia  by  royal  mandate, 
I  fell  dangerously  ill  there;  and  that  timely  remembrancer  was  the 
cause  of  bringing  back  your  son  to  you.  So  true  is  it  that  sickness 
and  imprisonment  were  my  best  moral  tutors;  for  they  enabled 
Nature  to  resume  her  rights,  and  weaned  me  effectually  from  the 
court.  Henceforth,  all  my  dear  delight  is  in  solitude ;  and  my  only 
business  in  the  Asturias  is  to  entreat  that  you  would  share  with  me 
in  the  mild  pleasures  of  a  retired  life.  If  you  reject  not  my  earnest 
petition,  I  will  attend  you  to  an  estate  of  mine  in  the  kingdom  of 
Valencia,  and  we  will  live  there  together  very  comfortably.  You 
are,  of  course,  aware  that  I  intended  to  take  my  father  thither,  also ; 
but  since  Heaven  has  ordained  it  otherwise,  let  me  at  least  have  the 
satisfaction  of  affording  an  asylum  to  my  mother,  and  making  amends 
by  all  the  attentions  in  my  power,  for  the  fallow  seasons  in  the 
former  harvest  of  my  filial  duty." 

"  I  accept  your  kind  intentions  in  very  good  part,"  said  my  mother, 
"  and  would  take  the  journey  without  hesitation  if  I  saw  no  obstacles 
in  the  way.  But  to  desert  your  uncle  in  his  present  condition  would 
be  unpardonable ;  and  I  am  too  much  accustomed  to  this  part  of 
the  country  to  like  living  elsewhere :  nevertheless,  as  the  proposal 
deserves  to  be  maturely  weighed,  I  will  consider  further  of  it  at  my 
leisure.  At  present  your  father's  funeral  requires  to  be  ordered  and 
arranged."  "As  for  that,"  said  I,  "we  will  leave  it  to  the  care  of 
the  young  man  whom  you  saw  with  me ;  he  is  my  secretary,  with 
as  clever  a  head  and  as  good  a  heart  as  you  have  often  been  ac- 
quainted with ;  let  the  business  rest  with  him  ;  it  cannot  be  in 
better  hands." 

Hardly  had  I  pronounced  these  words  when  Scipio  came  back ; 
for  it  was  already  broad  day.  He  inquired  whether  he  could  be  of 
any  service  in  our  present  distresses.  I  answered  that  he  was  come 
just  in  time  to  receive  some  very  important  directions.  As  soon  as 
he  was  made  acquainted  with  the  business  in  hand,  "  A  word  to  the 
wise,"  said  he :  "  the  whole  procession,  with  its  appropriate  heraldry, 


620  ADVENTVREi^  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

is  already  marshalled  in  this  head  of  mine ;  you  may  trust  me  for  a 
very  pretty  funeral."  " Have  a  care,"  said  my  mother,  "to  make  it 
plain  and  decent,  without  anything  like  pomp  or  parade.  It  can 
scarcely  be  too  humble  for  my  husband,  whom  all  the  town  knows 
to  have  been  low  in  rank  and  indigent  in  circumstances."  "  Madam," 
replied  Scipio,  "though  he  had  been  the  meanest  and  most  destitute 
of  the  human  race,  I  would  not  bate  one  button  in  the  array  of  his 
posthumous  honors.  My  master's  credit  is  at  stake  in  the  proper 
conduct  of  the  ceremony  ;  he  has  been  in  an  ostensible  situation 
under  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  and  his  father  ought  to  be  buried  with 
all  the  forms  of  state  and  nobility." 

I  thought  exactly  as  my  secretary  did  upon  the  subject,  and  even 
80  far  as  to  bid  him  spare  no  expense  on  the  occasion.  A  little 
ieaven  of  vanity  still  fermented  in  the  mass  of  my  philosophy,  and 
rose  in  my  bosom  with  all  the  effervescence  of  its  original  lightness. 
I  flattered  myself  that  by  lavishing  posthumous  honors  on  a  father 
who  had  blessed  the  day  of  his  decease  by  no  lucrative  bequest,  I 
should  instill  into  the  conceptions  of  the  bystanders  a  high  sense  of 
my  generous  nature.  My  mother,  on  her  part,  whatever  airs  of 
humility  she  might  put  on,  had  no  dislike  to  seeing  her  husband 
carried  out  Avith  due  observance  of  funeral  pomp  and  ceremony.  We 
therefore  left  Scipio  to  do  just  as  he  pleased  ;  and  he,  without  a  mo- 
ment's delay,  adopted  all  the  necessary  measures  for  the  display  of 
the  undertaker's  liveliest  fancy. 

The  genius  of  that  artist  was  called  forth  but  too  successfully. 
His  emblems,  devices,  and  draperies  were  so  ostentatious  as  to  disgust 
the  natives :  every  individual,  whether  of  the  town  or  the  suburbs, 
whether  high  or  low,  rich  or  poor,  felt  shocked  and  insulted  by  this 
after-thought  parade.  "  This  ministerial  beggar  on  horseback,"  said 
one,  "  can  put  his  hand  into  his  pocket  for  his  father's  funeral  baked 
meats,  but  never  found  in  his  heart  wherewithal  to  furnish  his  living 
table  with  common  necessaries."  "  It  would  have  been  much  more  to 
the  purpose,"  said  another,  "  to  have  made  the  old  gentleman's  latter 
days  comfortable,  than  to  have  wasted  such  thriftless  sums  on  a 
post-obit  act  of  filial  munificence."  In  short,  quips  of  the  brain  and 
peltings  of  the  tongue  pattered  round  our  execrated  heads.  It  would 
have  been  well  had  the  storm  been  only  a  whirlwind  of  passion  or 
hurricane  of  words;  but  we  were  all,  Scipio,  Bertrand,  and  myself, 
corporally  admonished  of  our  misdeeds  on  our  coming  out  of  church ; 
they  abused  us  like  pickpockets,  made  mouths  and  odious  noises  as 
we  passed,  and  followed  Bertrand  at  his  heels  to  the  inn  with  a  copious 
volley  of  stones  and  mud.  To  disperse  the  mob  which  hf>d  collected 
before  my  uncle's  house,  my  mother  was  obliged  to  show  herself  at 
the  window,  and  to  declare  publicly  that  she  was  thoroughly  satisfied 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  521 

with  my  proceedings.  Another  detachment  had  filed  off  to  the 
stable-yard  where  my  carriage  stood,  in  the  full  determination  of 
breaking  it  to  pieces  ,•  and  this  they  would  inevitably  have  done,  if 
the  landlord  and  landlady  had  not  found  some  means  of  quieting 
their  perturbed  spirits,  and  turning  them  aside  from  their  outrageous 
purpose. 

All  these  affronts,  so  revolting  to  my  dignity,  the  effect  of  the 
tales  which  the  young  grocer  had  been  sjjreading  about  town,  in- 
spired me  with  such  a  thorough  hatred  for  my  native  place  that  I 
determined  on  quitting  Oviedo  almost  immediately,  though  but  for 
this  bustle  I  might  have  made  it  my  residence  for  some  time.  I  an- 
nounced my  intention,  with  the  reasons  of  it,  to  my  mother,  who, 
considering  my  uncouth  reception  as  no  very  flattering  compliment 
to  herself,  did  not  urge  my  longer  stay  among  people  so  little  in- 
clined to  treat  me  civilly.  The  only  point  remaining  now  to  be  dis- 
cussed was  her  future  destiny  and  provision.  "  My  dear  mother," 
said  I,  "  since  my  uncle  stands  so  much  in  need  of  your  attendance, 
I  will  no  longer  urge  you  to  go  along  with  me  ;.but,  as  his  days  seem 
likely  to  be  very  few  on  earth,  you  must  promise  to  come  and  take 
up  your  abode  with  me  at  my  farm  as  soon  as  the  last  duties  are  per- 
formed to  his  honored  remains." 

"  I  shall  make  no  such  promise,"  answered  my  mother,  "  for  I 
mean  to  pass  the  remnant  of  my  days  in  the  Asturias,  and  in  a  state  of 
perfect  independence."  "  Will  you  not  on  all  occasions,"  replied  I, 
"  be  absolute  mistress  in  my  household?"  "  May  be  so,  and  may  be 
not,"  rejoined  she :  "you  have  only  to  fall  in  love  with  some  flirt  of 
a  girl,  and  then  you  will  marry :  then  she  will  be  my  daughter-in- 
law,  and  I  shall  be  her  step-mother ;  and  then  we  shall  live  together 
as  step-mothers  and  daughters-in-law  usually  do."  "  Your  prog- 
nostics," said  I,  "  are  fetched  from  a  great  distance.  I  have  not  at 
present  the  most  remote  intention  of  entering  into  the  happy  state  ; 
but  even  though  such  a  whim  should  take  possession  of  my  brain,  I 
will  pledge  myself  for  instructing  my  wife  betimes  in  an  implicit 
submission  to  your  will  and  pleasure."  "  That  is  giving  security 
without  the  means  of  making  good  your  contract,"  replied  my 
mother ;  "  you  would  scarcely  be  able  to  justify  bail.  I  would,  not 
even  swear  that,  in  our  sparring  matches,  you  might  not  take  your 
wife's  part  in  preference  to  mine,  however  ill  she  might  behave,  or 
however  unreasonably  she  might  argue." 

"  You  talk  very  excellent  sense,  madam,"  cried  my  secretary, 
coming  in  for  a  share  of  the  conversation;  "I  think  just  as  you 
do,  that  docility  is  about  as  much  the  virtue  of  a  donkey  as  of  a 
daughter-in-law.  As  the  matter  stands,  that  there  may  be  no  differ- 
ence of  opinion  between  my  master  and  you,  since  you  are  absolutely 


522  ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

determined  to  live  asunder,  you  in  the  Asturias,  and  he  in  the  king- 
dom of  Valencia,  he  must  allow  you  an  annuity  of  a  hundred  pis- 
toles, and  send  me  hither  every  year  for  the  payment.  By  thus 
arranging  matters,  mother  and  son  will  be  very  good  friends,  with 
an  interval  of  two  hundred  leagues  between  them,"  The  parties 
concerned  fell  in  at  once  with  the  proposal.  I  paid  the  first  year  in 
advance,  and  stole  out  of  Oviedo  the  n^xt  morning  before  dawn,  for 
fear  of  vying  with  Saint  Stephen  in  popular  favor.  Such  were  the 
charms  of  my  return  to  my  native  place.  An  admirable  lesson  this, 
for  those  successful  upstarts  who,  having  gone  abroad  to  make  their 
fortunes,  come  home  to  be  the  purse-proud  tyrants  of  their  birth- 
place. 


CHAPTER  III. 


GIL-  BLAS    SETS    OUT    FOR    VALENCIA,    AND    ABKIVES    AT    LIKIAS.     DE- 
SCRIPTION OF  HIS  SEAT.      PAETICULABS  OF    HIS  RECEPTION. 

WE  took  the  road  for  Leon,  afterwards  that  of  Valencia ;  and, 
continuing  our  journey  by  short  stages,  arrived  on  the  even- 
ing" of  the  tenth  day  at  the  town  of  Segorba,  whence  early  on  the 
morrow  we  repaired  to  my  seat,  at  the  distance  of  very  little  more 
than  three  leagues.  In  proportion  as  we  approached  nearer,  it  was 
amusing  to  see  with  what  a  longing  eye  my  secretary  looked  at  all 
the  estates  which  lay  in  our  way,  to  the  right  and  left  of  the  road. 
Whenever  he  caught  a  glimpse  of  any  which  bespoke  the  rank  and 
opulence  of  its  owner,  he  never  missed  pointing  at  it  with  his  finger, 
and  wishing  that  were  the  place  of  our  retreat. 

"I  know  not,  my  good  friend,"  said  I,  "what  idea  you  have  formed 
of  our  habitation  ;  but  if  you  have  taken  it  into  your  head  that  ours 
is  a  magnificent  house,  with  the  domain  of  a  great  landed  proprietor, 
I  warn  you  in  time  that  you  are  laying  much  too  flattering  an  unction 
to  your  vanity.  If  you  have  no  mind  to  be  the  dupe  of  a  warm  im- 
agination, figure  to  yourself  the  little  ornamented  cottage  which 
Horace  fitted  up  near  Tibur,  in  the  country  of  the  Sabines,  on  a 
small  farm,  the  fee-simple  of  which  was  given  him  by  Maecenas.  Don 
Alphonso  has  made  me  just  such  another  present,  more  as  a  token 
of  affection  than  for  the  value  of  the  thing."  *'Then  I  must  expect 
to  see  nothing  but  a  dirty  hovel!"  exclaimed  Scipio.  "Bear  in 
mind,"  replied  I,  "  that  I  have  always  given  you  quite  an  unvar- 
nished description  of  my  place ;  and  now,  even  at  this  moment,  you 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  523 

may  judge  for  yourself  whether  I  have  not  stuck  to  truth  and  nature 
in  my  representations.  Just  carry  your  eye  along  the  course  of  the 
Guadalaviar,  and  observe  at  a  little  distance  from  the  further  bank, 
near  that  hamlet,  consisting  of  nine  or  ten  tenements,  a  house  with 
four  small  turrets  :  that  is  my  mansion." 

"  The  deuce  and  all !"  stammered  out  my  secretary,  short-breathed 
•with  sudden  admiration ;  "  why,  that  house  is  one  of  the  prettiest 
things  in  nature.  Besides  the  castellated  air  which  those  turrets 
give  it,  all  the  beauties  of  situation  and  architecture,  fertility  of 
soil,  and  perfection  of  landscape,  combine  to  rival  or  excel  the  im- 
mediate neighborhood  of  Seville,  complimented  as  it  is  for  its  pic- 
turesque attractions  by  the  appellation  of  an  earthly  paradise.  Had 
we  chosen  the  place  of  our  settlement  for  ourselves,  it  could  not 
have  been  more  to  my  taste :  a  river  meanders  through  the  grounds, 
distilling  plenty  and  verdure  from  its  fertilizing  bosom ;  the  leafy 
honors  of  an  umbrageous  wood  invite  the  mid-day  walk,  and  qualify 
the  temperature  of  the  seasons.  What  a  heavenly  abode  of  solitude 
and  contemplation  I  Ah  !  my  dear  master,  we  shall  act  very  fool- 
ishly if  we  are  in  a  hurry  to  run  away  from  our  happiness."  "  I 
am  delighted,"  answered  I,  "  that  you  are  so  well  satisfied  with  the 
retreat  provided  for  us,  though  yet  acquainted  with  only  a  small 
part  of  its  attractions." 

As  we  were  chatting  in  this  strain,  we  got  nearer  and-  nearer  to 
the  house,  where  the  door  opened  as  by  magic,  the  moment  Scipio 
announced  Signer  Gil  Bias  de  Santillane,  who  was  coming  to  take 
possession  of  his  estate.  At  the  mention  of  this  name,  received  with 
reverential  homage  by  the  people  who  had  been  instructed  in  the 
transfer  of  their  obedience,  my  carriage  was  admitted  into  a  large 
court,  where  I  alighted ;  then,  leaning  with  all  my  weight  upon 
Scipio,  as  if  walking  were  a  derogation  from  my  dignity,  and  putting 
on  the  great  man  after  the  most  consequential  models,  I  reached  the 
hall,  where,  on  my  entrance,  seven  or  eight  servants  made  their 
obeisances.  They  told  me  they  were  come  to  welcome  their  new 
master  with  their  best  loves  and  duties ;  that  Don  Caesar  and  Don 
Alphonso  de  Leyva  had  chosen  them  to  form  my  establishment, 
one  in  quality  of  cook,  another  as  under-cbok,  a  third  as  scullion,  a 
fourth  as  porter,  and  the  rest  as  footmen ;  with  an  express  injunc- 
tion to  receive  no  wages  or  perquisites,  as  those  two  noblemen  meant 
to  defray  all  the  expenses  of  my  household.  The  cook,  Master 
Joachim  by  name,  was  commander-in-chief  of  this  battalion,  and 
announced  to  me  the  whole  array  of  the  campaign ;  he  declared 
that  he  had  laid  in  a  large  stock  of  the  choicest  wines  in  Spain,  and 
insinuated  that  for  the  solid  supply  of  the  table,  he  flattered  him- 
self a  person  of  his  education  and  experience,  who  had  been  six 


624  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

years  at  the  head  of  my  Lord  Archbishop  of  Valencia's  kitchen, 
must  know  how  to  dish  up  a  dinner  so  as  to  meet  the  ideas  of  the 
most  fastidious  layman  in  Christendom.  "  But  the  proof  of  the 
pudding  is  in  the  eating,"  added  he ;  "  so  I  will  just  go  aad  give 
you  a  specimen  of  my  talent.  You  had  better  take  a  walk,  my  lord, 
while  dinner  is  getting  ready;  look  about  the  premises,  and  see 
whether  you  find  them  in  tenantable  condition  for  a  person  of  your 
lordship's  dignity." 

The  reader  may  guess  whether  I  did  not  stir  my  stumps;  and 
Scipio,  still  more  eager  than  myself  to  take  a  bird's-eye  inventory 
of  our  goods  and  chattels,  dragged  me  back  and  fore  from  room  to 
room.  There  was  not  a  corner  of  the  house  that  we  did  not  peep 
into,  from  the  garret  to  the  cellar ;  not  a  closet  or  a  cranny,  at  least 
as  we  supposed,  could  escape  our  prying  curiosity ;  and  in  every 
fresh  room  we  went  into,  I  had  occasion  to  admire  the  kindness  of 
Don  Caesar  and  his  son  towards  me.  I  was  struck,  among  other 
things,  with  two  apartments,  which  were  as  elegantly  furnished  as 
they  could  be  without  misplaced  magnificence.  One  of  them  was 
hung  with  tapestry,  the  celebrated  manufacture  of  the  Low  Coun- 
tries ;  the  velvet  bed  and  chairs  were  still  very  handsome,  though 
in  the  fashion  of  the  time  when  the  Moors  possessed  the  kingdom 
of  Valencia.  The  furniture  of  the  other  room  was  in  the  same  taste : 
to  wit,  an  old  suit  of  hangings,  made  of  yellow  Genoa  damask,  with 
a  bed  and  arm-chairs  to  match,  fringed  with  blue  silk.  All  these 
effects,  which  would  have  furnished  but  a  sorry  display  in  an  up- 
holsterer's shop,  made  no  contemptible  appearance  in  their  present 
situation. 

After  having  rummaged  over  every  article  of  the  paraphernalia, 
my  secretary  and  myself  returned  to  the  dining-room,  where  the 
cloth  was  laid  for  two ;  we  sat  down,  and  in  an  instant  they  served 
up  so  delicious  an  olla  podrida,  that  we  could  not  help  revolving 
on  the  various  turns  of  the  fate  below,  which  had  parted  the  good 
Archbishop  of  Valencia  from  his  cook.  We  had  in  truth  a  most 
catholic  and  ravenous  appetite — a  circumstance  which  added  new 
zest  to  our  praises  and  enjoyments.  Between  every  succeeding  help, 
my  servants,  with  all  the 'alacrity  of  fresh  and  holiday  service,  filled 
our  large  glasses  to  the  brim  with  wine,  the  choicest  vintage  of  La 
Mancha.  Scipio,  not  thinking  it  genteel  to  express  aloud  the  in- 
ward chucklings  of  his  heart  at  our  dainty  fare,  winked  and  nodded 
his  delight,  and  spoke  by  signs,  which  I  returned  with  the  like 
dumb  eloquence  of  overflowing  satisfaction.  The  remove  was  a 
dish  of  roast  quails,  flanking  a  little  leveret  in  high  order,  just  kept 
long  enough ;  for  this  we  left  our  hash,  good  as  it  wa.s,  and  gorged 
ourselves  to  a  surfeit  on  the  game.    When  we  had  eaten  as  if  we 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  525 

had  never  eaten  before,  and  pledged  one  another  in  due  proportion, 
we  rose  from  table,  and  went  into  the  garden  to  look  out  for  some 
cool,  pleasant  spot,  and  take  our  afternoon's  nap  voluptuously. 

If  hitherto  my  secretary  had  goggled  satisfaction  at  what  he  had 
seen,  he  stared  wider  and  grinned  broader  at  this  vista  vision  of  the 
garden.  He  scarcely  allowed  the  comparison  to  be  in  favor  of  the 
Escurial.  The  reason  of  its  extreme  niceness  was,  that  Don  Csesar, 
who  came  backwards  and  forwards  to  Lirias,  took  pleasure  in  im- 
proving and  ornamenting  it.  All  the  walks  well  gravelled  and  lined 
with  orange  trees,  a  large  reservoir  of  white  marble,  with  a  lion  in 
bronze  spouting  water  like  a  dolphin's  deputy  in  the  middle,  the 
beauty  of  the  flower  borders,  the  profusion  and  variety  of  the  fruit 
trees, — such  pretty  particulars  as  these  made  Scipio  smack  his  lips, 
and  snuflf  the  air ;  but  his  raptures  reached  their  summit  at  the 
gradual  descent  of  a  long  walk,  leading  to  the  bailiff's  cottage,  and 
overarched  by  the  interwoven  boughs  of  the  trees  planted  on  each 
side.  While  eulogizing  a  place  so  well  adapted  for  a  refuge  from 
the  intenseness  of  the  heat,  we  made  a  halt,  and  sat  down  at  the 
foot  of  an  elm,  where  sleep  required  very  little  cunning  to  entangle 
two  high-fed,  half- tipsy  blades,  just  risen  from  so  voluptuous  and 
voracious  a  repast. 

In  about  two  hours  we  were  startled  out  of  our  sleep  by  the  report 
of  musketry,  popping  so  near  the  headquarters  of  our  repose  that 
we  apprehended  the  camp  to  be  attacked.  On  the  alert  I  was  the 
first  idea  that  invaded  our  dozing  minds.  That  we  might  procure 
the  most  authentic  intelligence  in  what  direction  the  enemy  was 
approaching,  we  directed  our  march  towards  the  bailiff's  tenement. 
There  were  collected  eight  or  ten  clodhoppers,  all  friends  and 
neighbors,  assembled  on  the  green  for  the  purpose  of  honoring  my 
arrival,  just  communicated  to  the  dull  senses  of  the  said  clodhoppers 
by  a  discharge  of  firearms,  whose  barrels  and  furniture  might  thank 
me  for  the  unusual  favor  of  a  thorough  cleaning.  The  greater  part 
of  them  were  acquainted  with  my  person,  having  seen  me  more  than 
once  at  the  castle,  while  engaged  in  the  business  of  my  stewardship. 
No  sooner  did  they  set  eyes  on  me  than  they  all  shouted  in  unison, 
"Long  life  to  our  new  lord  and  master!  Welcome  to  Lirias!" 
Then  they  loaded  once  again,  and  fired  another  volley  in  honor  of 
the  occasion.  My  habits  and  manners  were  softened  down  to  the 
most  condescending  urbanity,  though  with  a  decorous  infusion  of 
distance,  lest  any  degrading  constructions  might  be  put  upon  too 
unlimited  a  freedom  of  address.  With  respect  to  my  protection,  I 
promised  it  according  to  the  customary  charter  of  newly-installed 
possessors,  and  went  so  far  as  to  throw  them- a  purse  of  twenty  pis- 
toles ;  and  this,  in  my  opinion,  was  the  point  of  all  others  in  my 


526  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

conduct  which  touched  their  hearts  most  nearly.  After  this  bene- 
faction, I  left  them  at  liberty  to  waste  as  much  powder  as  they 
pleased,  and  withdrew  with  my  secretary  into  the  wood,  where  we 
walked  to  and  fro  till  nightfall,  wilhoilt  being  at  all  tired  of  our 
rural  prospect,  so  many  charms  had  the  view  of  a  landscape,  height- 
ened by  the  substantial  beauties  of  ownership  in  fee-simple,  to  our 
elevated  and  delighted  imaginations  1 

The  cook,  the  under-cook,  and  the  scullion  were  not  resting  upon 
their  oars  all  this  time ;  they  were  working  hard  to  fit  up  for  us  an 
artifice  of  belly  timber  more  magnificent  than  what  we  had  already 
demolished,  so  that  we  were  over  head  and  ears  in  amazement, 
when,  on  our  return  to  the  room  where  we  had  dined,  we  saw  on  the 
table  a  dish  of  four  roast  partridges,  with  a  smothered  rabbit  on  one 
side  and  a  fricasseed  capon  on  the  other.  The  second  course  con- 
sisted of  pigs'  ears,  jugged  game,  and  chocolate  cream.  We  drank 
deeply  of  the  most  delicious  wines,  and  began  to  think  of  going  to 
bed  when  it  became  a  matter  of  doubt  whether  we  could  sit  up  any 
longer.  Then  my  people,  with  lighted  candles  before  me,  led  the 
way  to  the  best  bedroom,  where  they  were  all  most  officious  in  assist- 
ing to  undress  me ;  but  when  they  had  tendered  me  my  gown  and 
nightcap,  I  dismissed  them  with  an  authoritative  undulation  of  my 
hand,  signifying  that  their  services  were  dispensed  with  for  the  re- 
mainder of  that  night. 

Thus  I  sent  them  all  about  their  business,  keeping  Scipio  for  a 
little  private  conference  between  ourselves;  and  I  led  to  it  by  ask- 
ing him  what  he  thought  of  my  reception,  as  arranged  by  order  of 
my  noble  patrons.  "  Indeed  and  indeed,"  answered  he,  "  the  human 
heart  could  not  devise  anything  more  delicious ;  I  only  wish  we  may 
go  on  as  we  have  begun."  "  I  have  no  wish  of  the  kind,"  replied  I: 
"  it  is  contrary  to  my  principles  to  allow  that  my  benefactors  should 
put  themselves  to  so  much  expense  on  my  account ;  it  would  be  a 
downright  fraud  upon  their  benevolence.  Besides,  I  could  never 
feel  myself  at  home  with  servants  in  the  pay  of  other  people  ;  it  is 
just  like  living  in  a  lodging  or  an  inn.  Then  it  is  to  be  remembered 
that  I  did  not  come  hither  to  live  upon  so  expensive  a  scale.  What 
occasion  have  we  for  so  large  an  establishment  of  servants  ?  Our 
utmost  want,  with  Bertrand,  is  a  cook,  a  scullion,  and  a  footman." 
Though  my  secretary  would  not  have  been  at  all  sorry  to  table  for  a 
continuance  at  the  governor  of  Valencia's  expense,  he  did  not 
oppose  his  own  luxurious  taste  to  my  moral  delicacy,  but  con- 
formed at  once  to  my  sentiments,  and  approved  the  reduction  I  was 
meditating  to  introduce.  That  point  being  decided,  he  left  my 
chamber,  and  betook  him.self  to  his  pillow  in  his  own. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  627 


CHAPTER   IV. 

JOURNEY  TO  VALENCIA,  AND  A  VISIT  TO  THE  LORDS  OF  LEYVA. 
CONVERSATION  OF  THE  GENTLEMEN. 

I  GOT  my  clothes  off  as  soon  as  possible,  and  went  to  bed,  where, 
finding  no  great  inclination  to  sleep,  I  communed  with  my  own 
thoughts.  The  mutual  attachment  between  the  lords  of  Leyva  and 
myself  was  uppermost  in  the  various  topics  of  my  contemplation. 
With  my  heart  full  of  their  late  kindness,  I  determined  on  setting 
out  for  their  residence  the  next  day,  and  quenching  my  impatience 
to  thank  them  for  their  favors.  Neither  was  it  a  slender  gratifica- 
tion to  anticipate  another  interview  with  Seraphina,  though  there 
was  somewhat  of  alloy  in  that  pleasure ;  it  was  impossible  to  reflect 
without  shuddering  that  I  should  at  the  same  time  have  to  encoun- 
ter the  glances  of  Dame  Lorenzo  Sephora,  who  might  not  be 
greatly  delighted  at  the  renewal  of  our  acquaintance,  should  her 
memory  happen  to  stumble  upon  the  circumstances  connected  with 
a  certain  box  on  the  ear.  With  my  mind  exhausted  by  all  these 
different  suggestions,  my  eyelids  at  length  closed,  and  the  sun  had 
peeped  in  at  my  window  long  before  they  had  turned  on  their 
hinges. 

I  was  soon  out  of  bed,  and  dressed  myself  with  all  possible  expe- 
dition, in  the.  earnest  desire  of  prosecuting  my  intended  journey. 
Just  as  I  had  finished  my  hasty  operations,  my  secretary  came  into 
the  room.  "  Scipio,"  said  I,  "  you  behold  a  man  on  the  point  of 
setting  out  for  Valencia.  I  ought  to  lose  no  time  in  paying  my 
respects  to  those  noblemen  to  whom  I  am  indebted  for  my  little 
independence.  Every  moment  of  delay  in  the  performance  of  this 
duty  throws  a  new  weight  of  ingratitude  on  my  conscience.  As  for 
you,  my  friend,  there  is  no  necessity  for  your  attendance ;  stay  here 
during  my  absence ;  I  shall  come  back  to  you  within  the  space  of  a 
week."  "  Heaven  speed  you,  sir !"  answered  he ;  "  be  sure  you  do 
not  slight  Don  Alphonso  and  his  father  :  they  seem  to  me  to  thrill 
with  the  kindly  vibrations  of  friendship,  and  to  be  unbounded  in 
their  acknowledgment  of  obligation ;  gratitude  and  benevolence  are 
so  uncommon  in  people  of  rank,  that  they  deserve  to  be  made  the 
most  of  where  found."  I  sent  a  message  to  Bertrand,  to  hold  him- 
self in  readiness  for  setting  out,  and  took  my  chocolate  while  he  was 
harnessing  the  mules.  When  all  was  prepared,  I  got  into  my  car- 
riage, after  having  directed  my  people  to  consider  my  secretary  as 
master  of  the  house  in  my  absence,  and  to  obey  his  orders  as  if  they 
were  my  own. 


02«  ADVENTrRES  OF  GIL   BLAS. 

I  got  to  Valencia  in  less  than  four  hours,  and  drove  at  once  to 
the  governor's  stables,  where  I  alighted  and  left  my  equipage.  On 
going  to  the  house,  I  was  informed  that  Don  Caesar  and  his  son  were 
together.  I  did  not  wait  for  an  introduction,  but  went  in  without 
ceremony;  and  addressing  myself  to  both  of  them,  "Servants,"  said 
I,  "never  send  in  their  names  to  their  masters;  here  is  an  old  piece 
of  family  furniture,  not  ornamental  indeed,  but  of  a  fashion  when 
gratitude  was  neither  out  of  date  nor  out  of  countenance."  These 
words  were  accompanied  with  an  effort  to  throw  myself  on  my 
knees;  but  they  anticipated  my  purpose,  and  embraced  me  one 
after  the  other  with  all  possible  evidence  of  sincere  affection.  "  Well, 
then,  my  dear  Santillane,"  said  Don  Alphonso,  "  you  have  been  at 
Lirias  to  take  possession  of  your  little  property."  "  Yes,  my  lord," 
answered  I ;  "  and  my  next  request  is,  that  you  would  be  pleased  to 
take  it  back  again."  "  What  is  your  reason  for  that  ?"  replied  he. 
"  Is  there  anything  about  it  at  all  offensive  to  your  taste?"  "Not 
in  the  place  itself,"  rejoined  I ;  "  on  the  contrary,  that  is  everything 
that  my  heart  can  wish ;  the  only  fault  I  have  to  find  with  it  is  that 
the  kitchen  smells  too  strongly  of  the  hierarchy ;  a  lay  Christian 
should  not  live  like  an  archbishop;  besides  that,  there  are  three 
times  as  many  servants  as  are  necessary,  and  consequently  you  are 
put  to  an  expense  at  once  enormous  and  useless." 

"  Had  you  accepted  the  annuity  of  two  thousand  ducats,  which 
we  offered  you  at  Madrid,"  said  Don  Caesar,  "we  should  have 
thought  it  enough  to  give  you  the  mansion  furnished  as  it  is;  but 
you  know  you  refused  it ;  and  we  felt  it  but  right  to  do  what  we 
have  done  as  an  equivalent."  "  Your  bounty  has  been  too  lavish," 
answered  I ;  "  the  gift  of  the  estate  was  the  utmost  limit  to  which  it 
should  have  been  extended,  and  that  was  more  than  sufficient  to 
crown  my  largest  wishes.  But  to  say  nothing  about  what  it  has 
cost  you  to  keep  up  so  great  and  expensive  an  establishment,  I  de- 
clare to  you  most  solemnly  that  these  people  stand  in  my  way,  and 
are  a  great  annoyance.  In  one  word,  gentlemen,  either  take  back 
your  boon,  or  give  me  leave  to  enjoy  it  in  my  own  way."  I  pro- 
nounced these  last  words  so  much  as  if  I  were  in  earnest,  that  the 
father  and  son,  not  meaning  to  lay  me  under  any  unpleasant  re- 
straint, at  length  gave  me  their  permission  to  manage  my  household 
as  it  should  seem  expedient  to  my  better  judgment. 

I  was  thanking  them  very  kindly  for  having  granted  me  that 
privilege,  without  which  a  dukedom  would  have  been  but  splendid 
slavery,  when  Don  Alphonso  interrupted  me  by  saying,  "My  dear 
Gil  Bias,  I  will  introduce  you  to  a  lady  who  will  be  extremely 
happy  to  see  you."  Thus  preparing  me  for  the  interview,  he  took 
me  by  the  hand  and  led  the  way  to  Seraphina's  apartment,  who  set 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  529 

up  a  scream  of  joy  on  recognizing  me.  "  Madam,"  said  the  gov- 
ernor, "  1  flatter  myself  that  the  visit  of  our  friend  Santillane  at 
Valencia  is  not  less  acceptable  to  you  than  myself."  "On  that 
head,"  answered  she,  "  he  may  rest  confidently  avssured  ;  time  has 
not  obliterated  the  remembrance  of  the  service  which  he  once  ren- 
dered me ;  and  to  that  must  be  added  a  new  debt  of  gratitude  in- 
curred on  the  score  of  your  obligations."  I  told  the  governor's  lady 
that  I  was  already  too  well  requited  for  the  danger  which  I  had 
shared  in  common  w^ith  her  deliverers  in  exposing  my  life  for  her 
sake :  compliments  to  the  like  effect  were  bandied  about  for  some 
time  on  both  sides,  when  Don  Alphonso  motioned  to  quit  Sera- 
phina's  room.  We  then  went  back  to  Don  Csesar,  whom  we 
found  in  the  saloon  with  a  fashionable  party,  who  were  come  to 
dinner. 

All  these  gentlemen  were  introduced,  and  paid  their  compliments 
to  me  in  the  politest  manner ;  nor  did  their  attentions  relax  in  as- 
siduity when  Don  Caesar  told  them  that  I  had  been  one  of  the  Duke 
of  Lerma's  principal  secretaries.  In  all  likelihood  several  of  them 
might  not  be  unacquainted  that  Don  Alphonso  had  been  promoted 
to  the  government  of  Valencia  by  my  interest,  for  political  secrets 
are  seldom  kept.  However  that  might  be,  while  we  were  at  table, 
the  conversation  principally  turned  on  the  new  cardinal.  Some  of 
the  company  either  were  or  affected  to  be  his  unqualified  admirers, 
w^hile  others  allowed  his  merit  upon  the  whole,  but  thought  it  had 
been  rather  overrated.  I  plainly  saw  through  their  design  of  draw- 
ing me  on  to  enlarge  on  the  subject  of  his  eminence,  and  to  gratify 
their  taste  for  scandal  with  court  anecdotes  at  his  expense.  I  could 
have  been  well  enough  pleased  to  have  delivered  my  real  sentiments 
on  his  character,  but  I  kept  my  tongue  within  my  teeth,  and  thereby 
passed,  in  the  estimation  of  the  guests,  for  a  close,  confidential, 
politic,  trustworthy  young  statesman. 

The  party  respectively  retired  home  after  dinner  to  take  their 
usual  nap,  when  Don  Csesar  and  his  son,  yielding  to  a  similar  in- 
clination, shut  themselves  up  in  their  apartments. 

For  my  own  part,  full  of  impatience  to  see  a  town  which  I  had  so 
often  heard  extolled  for  its  beauty,  I  went  out  of  the  governor's 
palace  with  the  intention  of  walking  through  the  streets.  At  the 
gate  a  man  accosted  me  with  the  following  address :  "  Will  Signor 
de  Santillane  allow  me  to  take  the  liberty  of  paying  my  respects  to 
him?"  I  asked  him  who  and  what  he  was.  "I  am  Don  Caesar's 
valet-de-chambre,"  answered  he,  "  but  was  one  of  his  ordinary  foot- 
men during  your  stewardship  ;  I  used  to  make  my  court  to  you  every 
morning,  and  you  used  to  take  a  great  deal  of  notice  of  me.  I  regu- 
larly gave  you  intelligence  of  what  was  passing  in  the  house.  Do 
34 


580  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

you  recollect  my  apprising  yoii  one  day  that  the  village  surgeon  of 
Leyva  was  privately  admitted  into  Dame  Lorenza  Sephora's  bed- 
chamber ?"  "  It  is  a  circumstance  which  I  have  by  no  means  for- 
gotten," replied  I.  "  But  now  that  we  are  talking  of  that  formid- 
able duenna,  what  is  become  of  her?"  "Alas!"  resumed  he,  "the 
poor  creature  moped  and  dwindled  after  your  departure,  and  at 
length  gave  up  the  ghost,  more  to  the  grief  of  Seraphina  than  of 
Don  Alphonso,  who  seemed  to  consider  her  death  as  no  great  evil." 

Don  Caesar's  valet-de-chambre,  having  thus  acquainted  me  with 
Sephora's  melancholy  end,  made  a  bumble  apology  for  having  pre- 
sumed to  stop  my  walk,  and  then  left  me  to  continue  my  progress. 
I  could  not  help  paying  the  tribute  of  a  sigh  to  the  memory  of  that 
ill-fated  duenna ;  and  her  decease  affected  me  the  more  because  I 
taxed  myself  with  that  melancholy  catastrophe,  though  a  moment's 
reflection  would  have  convinced  me  that  the  grave  owed  ifs  precious 
prey  to  the  inroads  of  her  cancer,  rather  than  to  the  cruel  charms  of 
my  person. 

I  looked  with  an  eye  of  pleasure  upon  everything  worth  notice  in 
the  town.  The  archbishop's  marble  palace  feasted  my  eyes  with  all 
the  magnificence  of  architecture ,  nor  were  the  piazzas  which  sur- 
rounded the  exchange  much  inferior  in  commercial  grandeur ;  but  a 
large  building  at  a  distance,  with  a  great  crowd  standing  before  the 
doors,  attracted  all  my  attention.  I  went  nearer,  to  ascertain  the 
reason  why  so  great  a  concourse  of  both  sexes  was  collected,  and 
was  soon  let  into  the  secret  by  reading  the  following  inscription  in 
letters  of  gold  on  a  tablet  of  black  marble  over  the  door :  La  Posada 
de  los  Representantes.  The  play-bills  announced  for  that  day  a  new 
tragedy,  never  performed,  and  gave  the  name  of  Don  Grabriel  Tria- 
quero  as  the  author. 


CHAPTEE   V. 


GIL  BLAS  GOES  TO  THE  PLAY,  AND  SEES  A  NEW  TRAGEDY.     SUCCESS  OF 
THE  PIECE.     THE  PUBLIC  TASTE  AT  VALENCIA. 

I  STOPPED  for  some  minutes  before  the  door,  to  make  my  re- 
marks on  the  people  who  were  going  in.  They  were  of  all  sorts 
and  sizes.  Here  was  a  knot  of  genteel-looking  fellows,  whose  tailors 
at  least  had  done  justice  to  their  fashionable  pretensions ;  there,  a 
mob  of  ill-favored  and  ill-mannered  mortals,  in  a  garb  to  identify 
Tulgarity.    To  the  right  was  a  bevy  of  noble  ladies,  alighted  from 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  531 

their  carriages  to  take  possession  of  their  private  boxes ;  to  the  left, 
a  tribe  of  female  traders  in  lubricity,  who  came  to  sell  their  wares  iu 
the  lobby.  This  mixed  concourse  of  spectators,  as  various  in  their 
minds  as  in  their  faces,  gave  me  an  itching  inclination  to  increase 
their  number.  Just  as  I  was  taking  my  check,  the  governor  and 
his  lady  drove  up.  They  spied  me  out  in  the  crowd,  and  having  sent 
for  me,  took  me  with  them  to  their  box,  where  I  placed  myself  behind 
tliem,  in  such  a  position  as  to  converse  at  my  ease  with  either. 

The  theatre  was  filled  with  spectators  from  the  ceiling  downwards, 
the  pit  thronged  almost  to  sufibcation,  and  the  stage  crowded  with 
knights  of  the  three  military  orders.  "  Here  is  a  full  house,"  said  I 
to  Don  Alphonso.  "  You  are  not  to  consider  that  as  anything  ex- 
traordinary," answered  he ;  "  the  tragedy  now  about  to  be  produced 
is  from  the  pen  of  Don  Gabriel  Triaquero,  the  most  fashionable 
dramatic  writer  of  his  day.  Whenever  the  play-bill  announces  any 
novelty  from  this  favorite  author,  the  whole  town  of  Valencia  is  in 
a  bustle.  The  men  as  well  as  the  women  talk  incessantly  on  the 
subject  of  the  piece;  all  the  boxes  are  taken  ;  and  on  the  first  night 
of  performance  there  is  a  risk  of  broken  limbs  in  getting  in,  though 
the  price  of  admission  is  doubled,  with  the  exception  of  the  pit, 
which  is  too  authoritative  a  part  of  the  house  for  the  proprietors  to 
tamper  with  its  patience."  "  What  a  paroxysm  of  partiality !"  said 
I  to  the  governor.  "  This  eager  curiosity  of  the  public,  this  hot- 
headed impatience  to  be  present  at  the  first  representation  of  Don 
Gabriel's  pieces,  gives  me  a  magnificent  idea  of  that  poet's  genius." 

At  this  period  of  our  conversation  the  curtain  rose.  We  imme- 
diately left  off  talking,  to  fix  our  whole  attention  fin  the  stage.  The 
applauses  were  rapturous  even  at  the  prologue:  as  the  performance 
advanced,  every  sentiment  and  situation,  nay,  almost  every  line  of 
the  piece,  called  forth  a  burst  of  acclamation ;  and  at  the  end  of 
each  act  the  clapping  of  hands  was  so  loud  and  incessant  as  almost 
to  bring  the  building  about  our  ears.  After  the  dropping  of  the  cur- 
tain, the  author  was  pointed  out  to  me,  going  about  from  box  to 
box,  and  with  all  the  modesty  of  a  successful  poet,  submitting  his 
head  to  the  imposition  of  those  laurels  which  the  genteeler  and 
especially  the  fairer  part  of  the  audience  had  prepared  for  his 
coronation. 

We  returned  to  the  governor's  palace,  where  we  were  met  by  a 
party  of  three  or  four  gentlemen.  Besides  these  mere  amateurs, 
there  were  two  veteran  authors  of  considerable  eminence  in  their 
line,  and  a  gentleman  of  Madrid  with  tolerably  fair  claims  to  criti- 
cal authority  and  judgment.  They  had  all  been  at  the  play.  The 
new  piece  was  the  only  topic  of  conversation  during  supper-time. 
"  Gentlemen,"  said  a  knight  of  St.  James,  "  what  do  you  think  of 


532  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  PL  AS. 

this  tragedy  ?  Has  it  not  every  claim  to  the  character  of  a  finished 
work?  Thoughts  that  breathe  and  words  that  burn,  a  hand  to 
touch  the  true  chords  of  pity  and  sweep  the  lyre  of  poetry — requi- 
sites how  rarely  and  yet  how  admirably  united  !  In  a  word,  it  is 
the  performance  of  a  person  mixjng  in  the  higher  circles  of  society." 
"There  can^be  no  possible  difference  of  opinion  on  that  subject," 
said  a  knight  of  Alcantara.  "  The  piece  is  full  of  strokes  which 
Apollo  himself  might  have  aimed,  and  of  perplexities  contrived 
so  that  none  but  the  author  himself  could  have  unravelled  them. 
I  appeal  to  that  acute  and  ingenious  stranger,"  added  he,  addressing 
the  Castilian  gentleman;  "he  looks  to  me  like  a  good  judge,  and 
I  will  lay  a  wager  that  he  is  on  my  side  of  the  question."  "Take 
care  how  you  stake  on  an  uncertainty,  my  worthy  knight,"  replied 
the  gentleman,  with  a  sarcastic  smile.  "  I  am  not  of  your  provin- 
cial school ;  we  do  not  pass  our  judgment  so  hastily  at  Madrid.  Far 
from  sentencing  a  piece  on  its  first  representation,  we  are  jealous  of 
its  apparent  merit  while  aided  by  scenic  deception  ;  our  fancies  and 
our  feelings  may  be  carried  away  for  the  moment,  but  our  serious 
decision  is  suspended  till  we  have  read  the  work ;  and  the  most 
common  result  of  its  appeal  to  the  press  is  a  defalcation  from  its 
powers  of  pleasing  on  the  stage. 

"Thus  you  perceive,"  pursued  he,  "that  it  is  our  practice  to 
examine  a  work  of  genius  closely  before  we  stamp  on  it  the  mark  of 
a  stock  piece ;  its  author's  fame,  let  it  ring  as  loudly  as  it  may,  can 
never  confound  our  exactness  of  discrimination.  When  Lope  de 
Vega  himself  or  Calderon  ventured  on  the  boards,  they  encoun- 
tered rigid  critics,  though  in  an  audience  which  doted  on  them — 
critics  who  would  not  sign  their  passport  to  the  regions  of  immor- 
tality till  they  had  sifted  their  claims  to  be  admitted  there." 

"  That  is  a  little  too  much,"  interrupted  the  knight  of  St.  James. 
"  We  are  not  quite  so  cautious  as  you.  It  is  not  our  custom  to  wait 
for  the  printing  of  a  piece  in  order  to  decide  on  its  reputation.  By 
the  very  first  performance  it  sinks  or  swims.  It  does  not  even 
seem  necessary  to  be  inconveniently  attentive  to  the  business  of  the 
stage.  It  is  sufficient  that  we  know  it  for  a  production  of  Don 
Gabriel,  to  be  persuaded  that  it  combines  every  excellence.  The 
works  of  that  poet  may  justly  be  considered  as  commencing  a  new 
era,  and  fixing  the  criterion  of  good  taste.  The  school  of  Lope  and 
Calderon  was  the  mere  cart  of  Thespis,  compared  with  the  polished 
scenes  of  this  great  dramatic  master."  The  gentleman  who  looked 
up  to  Lope  and  Calderon  as  the  Sophocles  and  Euripides  of  the 
Spaniards  could  not  easily  be  brought  to  acknowledge  such  wild 
canons  of  criticism.  "  This  is  a  dramatic  heresy  with  a  vengeance !" 
exclaimed  he.    "  Since  you  compel  me,  gentlemen,  to  decide  like 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  533 

you  on  the  fallacious  evidence  of  a  first  night,  I  must  tell  you  that 
I  am  not  at  all  satisfied  with  this  new  tragedy  of  your  Don  Gabriel. 
As  a  poem,  it  abounds  more  with  glittering  conceits  than  with  pas- 
sages of  pathos  or  delineations  of  nature.  The  verses,  three  out  of 
four,  are  defective  either  in  measure  or  rhyme;  the  characters 
clumsily  imagined  or  incongruously  supported ;  and  the  thoughts 
have  often  the  obscurity  of  a  riddlej  without  its  ingenuity." 

The  two  authors  jit  table,  who,  with  a  prudence  equally  com- 
mendable and  unusual,  had  said  nothing,  for  fear  of  lying  under 
the  imputation  of  jealousy,  could  not  help  assenting  to  the  last 
speaker's  opinions,  by  their  looks,  which  warranted  me  in  conclud- 
ing that  their  silence  was  less  owing  to  the  perfection  of  the  work 
than  to  the  dictates  of  personal  policy.  As  for  the  military  critics, 
they  got  to  their  old  topic  of  ringing  the  changes  on  Don  Gabriel, 
and  exalted  him  to  a  level  with  the  under  tenants  of  Olympus.  This 
extravagant  association  with  the  demigods,  this  blind  and  stiflF- 
necked  idolatry,  divorced  the  Castilian  from  his  little  stock  of 
patience,  so  that,  raising  his  hands  to  heaven,  he  broke  out  abruptly 
into  a  volley  of  enthusiasm :  "  O  divine  Lope  de  Vega,  sublime  and 
unrivalled  genius,  who  hast  left  an  immeasurable  space  between 
thee  and  all  the  Gabriels  who  would  light  their  tapers  from  thy 
bright  eff"u]gence!  and  thou,  mellow,  soft-voiced  Calderon,  whose 
elegance  and  sweetness,  rejecting  buskined  rant  and  tragic  swell, 
reign  with  undisputed  sway  over  the  afiections, — fear  not,  either  of 
you,  lest  your  altars  should  be  overturned  by  this  tongue-tied 
nursling  of  the  muses  1  It  will  be  the  utmost  of  his  renown  if  pos- 
terity, before  whose  eyes  your  works  shall  live  in  daily  view,  and 
form  their  dear  delight,  shall  enroll  his  name,  as  matter  of  history 
and  curious  record,  on  the  list  of  obsolete  authors." 

This  animated  apostrophe,  for  which  the  company  was  not  at 
all  prepared,  raised  a  hearty  laugh,  after  which  we  all  rose  from 
table  and  withdrew.  An  apartment  had  been  got  ready  for  me  by 
Don  Alphonso's  order,  where  I  found  a  good  bed ;  and  my  lordship, 
lying  down  in  luxurious  weariness,  went  to  sleep  upon  the  tag  of 
the  Castilian  gentleman's  impassioned  vindication,  and  dreamed 
most  crustily  of  the  injustice  done  to  Lope  and  Calderon  by  igno- 
rant pretenders. 


m^^35^, 


634  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

GIL  BLAS,  WALKING  ABOUT  THE  STREETS  OF  VALENCIA,  MEETS  WITH  ▲ 
MAN   OF  SANCTITY,   WHOM  HE  THINKS  HE  KNOWS. 

"AT'OT  having  been  able  to  complete  my  view  of  the  city  on  the 
i\l  preceding  day,  I  got  up  betimes  in  the  morning  with  the  in- 
tention of  taking  another  walk.  In  the  street  I  remarked  a  Car- 
thusian friar,  who  doubtless  was  thus  early  in  motion  to  promote  the 
interests  of  his  order.  He  walked  with  his  eyes  fixed  on  the  ground, 
and  a  gait  so  holy  and  contemplative  as  to  inspire  every  passenger 
with  religious  awe.  His  path  was  in  the  same  direction  as  mine.  I 
looked  at  him  with  more  than  ordinary  curiosity,  and  could  not  help 
fancying  it  was  Don  Raphael,  that  man  of  shifts  and  expedients, 
who  has  already  secured  so  honorable  a  niche  in  the  temple  6f 
fame. 

I  was  so  utterly  astonished,  so  thrown  off  my  balance  by  this 
meeting,  that,  instead  of  accosting  the  monk,  I  remained  motionless 
for  some  seconds,  which  gave  him  time  to  get  the  start  of  me.  "  Just 
Heaven  I"  said  I,  "  were  there  ever  two  faces  more  exactly  alike?  I 
do  not  know  what  to  make  of  it !  It  seems  incredible  that  Raphael 
should  turn  up  in  such  a  guise  !  And  yet  how  is  it  possible  to  be 
any  one  else  ?"  I  felt  too  great  a  curiosity  to  get  at  the  truth  not  to 
pursue  the  inquiry.  Having  ascertained  the  way  to  the  monastery 
of  the  Carthusians,  I  repaired  thither  immediately,  in  the  hope  of 
coming  across  the  object  of  my  search  on  his  return,  and  with  the 
full  intent  of  stopping  and  "parleying  with  him.  But  it  was  quite 
unnecessary  to  wait  for  his  arrival  to  enlighten  my  mind  on  the 
subject ;  on  reaching  the  convent  gate,  another  physiognomy,  such 
as  few  persons  had  read  without  paying  for  their  lesson,  resolved 
all  my  doubts  into  certainty ;  for  the  friar  who  served  in  the  capacity 
of  porter  was  unquestionably  my  old  and  godly-visaged  servant, 
Ambrose  de  Lamela. 

Our  surprise  was  equal  on  both  sides  at  meeting  again  in  such  a 
place.  "  Is  not  this  a  play  upon  the  senses  ?"  said  I,  paying  my 
compliments  to  him.  "  Is  it  actually  one  of  my  friends  who  presents 
himself  to  my  astonished  sight?"  He  did  not  know  me  again  at 
first,  or  probably  might  pretend  not  to  do  so  ;  but,  reflecting  within 
himself  that  it  was  in  vain  to  deny  his  own  identity,  he  assumed  the 
start  of  a  man  who  all  at  once  hits  upon  a  circumstance  which  had 
hitherto  escaped  his  recollection.  "  Ah,  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  exclaimed 
he,  "  excuse  my  not  recognizing  your  person  immediately.  Since  I 
have  lived  in  this  holy  place,  every  faculty  of  my  soul  has  been  ab- 


AD  VENTUHES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  535 

sorbed  in  the  performance  of  the  duties  prescribed  by  our  rules,  so 
that  by  degrees  I  lose  the  remembrance  of  all  worldly  objects  and 
events." 

"  After  a  separation  of  ten  years,"  said  I,  "  it  gives  me  much  pleas- 
ure to  find  you  again  in  so  venerable  a  garb."  "  For  my  part," 
answered  he,  "  it  fills  me  with  shame  and  confusion  to  appear  in  it 
before  a  man  who  has  been  an  eye-witness  of  my  guilty  courses. 
These  ghostly  weeds  are  at  once  the  charm  of  my  present  life  and 
the  condemnation  of  my  former.  Alas !"'  added  he,  heaving  a  right- 
eous sigh,  "  to  be  worthy  of  wearing  it,  my  earlier  years  should  have 
been  passed  in  primitive  innocence."  "  By  this  discourse,  so  rational 
and  edifying,"  replied  I,  "  it  is  plain,  my  dear  brother,  that  the  finger 
of  the  Lord  has  been  upon  you,  that  you  are  marked  out  for  a  vessel 
of  sanctification.  I  tell  you  once  again,  I  am  delighted  at  it,  and 
would  give  the  world  to  know  in  what  miraculous  manner  you  and 
Baphael  were  led  into  the  path  of  righteousness  ;  for  I  am  persuaded 
that  it  was  his  own  self  whom  I  met  in  the  town,  habited  as  a  Car- 
thusian. I  was  extremely  sorry,  afterwards,  not  to  have  stopped 
and  spoken  to  him  in  the  street,  and  I  am  waiting  here  to  apologize 
for  my  neglect  on  his  return." 

"  You  were  not  mistaken,"  said  Lamela ;  "  it  was  Don  Raphael 
himself  whom  you  saw ;  and  as  for  the  particulars  of  our  conversion, 
they  are  as  follows  :  After  parting  with  you  near  Segorba,  we  struck 
into  the  Valencia  road,  with  the  design  of  bettering  our  trade  by 
some  new  speculation.  Chance  or  destiny  one  day  led  our  steps  into 
the  church  of  the  Carthusians,  while  service  was  performing  in  the 
choir.  The  demeanor  of  the  brethren  attracted  our  notice,  and  we 
experienced  in  our  own  persons  the  involuntary  homage  which  vice 
pays  to  virtue.  We  admired  the  fervor  with  which  they  poured 
forth  their  devotions,  their  looks  of  pious  mortification,  their  dead- 
ness  to  the  pleasures  of  the  world  and  the  flesh,  and  in  the  settled 
composure  of  their  countenances,  the  outward  sign  of  an  approving 
conscience  within. 

"While  making  these  observations,  we  fell  into  a  train  of  thought 
which  became  like  manna  to  the  hungry  and  thirsty  soul ;  we  com- 
pared our  habits  of  life  with  the  employments  of  these  holy  men, 
and  the  wide  difference  between  our  spiritual  conditions  filled  us 
with  confusion  and  affright.  'Lamela,'  said  Don  Raphael,  as  we 
went  out  of  the  church,  '  how  do  you  stand  affected  by  what  we  have 
just  seen  ?  For  my  part,  there  is  no  disguising  the  truth  ;  my  mind 
is  ill  at  ease.  Emotions  new  and  indescribable  are  rushing  upon 
my  mind ;  and,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  I  reproach  myself  with 
the  wickedness  of  my  past  actions.'  '  I  am  just  in  the  same  temper  of 
soul,'  answered  I ;  '  my  iniquities  are  all  drawn  up  in  array  against 


536  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

me;  they  beset  me,  they  stare  me  in  the  face;  my  heart,  hitherto 
proof  against  all  the  arrows  of  remorse,  is  at  this  moment  shot 
through  and  through,  torn  and  disfigured,  tormented  and  destroyed.' 
*  Ah  I  my  dear  Ambrose,'  resumed  my  partner,  *  we  are  two  stray 
sheep,  whom  our  heavenly  Father,  in  mercy,  would  lead  back  gently 
to  the  fold.  It  is  he  himself,  my  child,  it  is  he  who  warns  and 
guides  us.  Let  us  not  be  deaf  to  the  call  of  his  voice ;  let  us  abandon 
all  our  wicked  courses ;  let  us  begin  from  this  day  to  work  out  our 
salvation  with  diligence  and  in  the  spirit  of  repentance:  we  had 
better  spend  the  remainder  of  our  days  in  this  convent,  and  conse- 
crate them  to  penitence  and  devotion.' 

"  I  applauded  Eaphael's  sentiment,"  continued  brother  Ambrose, 
"  and  we  formed  the  glorious  resolution  of  becoming  Carthusians. 
To  carry  it  into  effect,  we  applied  to  the  venerable  prior,  who  was 
no  sooner  made  acquainted  with  our  purpose,  than,  to  ascertain 
whether  our  call  was  from  the  world  above  or  the  world  beneath,  he 
appointed  us  to  cells,  and  all  the  strictness  of  monkish  discipline, 
for  a  whole  year.  We  acted  up  to  the  rules  with  equal  regularity 
and  fortitude,  and,  by  way  of  reward,  were  admitted  among  the 
novices.  Our  condition  was  so  much  what  we  wished  it,  and  our 
hearts  were  so  full  of  religious  zeal,  that  we  underwent  the  toils  of 
our  novitiate  with  unflinching  courage.  When  that  was  over,  we 
professed;  after  which,  Don  Eaphael,  appearing  admirably  well 
qualified,  both  by  natural  talent  and  various  experience,  for  the 
management  of  secular  concerns,  was  chosen  assistant  to  an  old  friar 
who  was  at  that  time  proctor.  The  son  of  Lucinda  would  infinitely 
have  preferred  dedicating  every  remaining  moment  of  his  existence 
to  prayer ;  but  he  found  it  necessary  to  sacrifice  his  taste  for  devo- 
tion, in  furtherance  of  the  general  prosperity.  He  entered  with  so 
much  zeal  and  knowledge  into  the  interests  of  the  house,  that  he 
was  considered  as  the  most  eligible  person  to  succeed  the  old  proc- 
tor, who  died  three  years  afterwards.  Don  Eaphael  accordingly  fills 
that  oflice  at  present ;  and  it  may  be  truly  said  that  he  discharges 
his  duty  to  the  entire  satisfaction  of  all  our  fathers,  who  praise  in 
the  highest  terms  his  conduct  in  the  administration  of  our  tempor- 
alities. What  is  most  of  all  miraculous,  and  shows  the  hand  of 
Heaven  in  his  conversion,  is  that,  with  such  an  accumulation  of 
business  rushing  in  upon  him  in  his  bursarial  department,  his  re- 
gards are  inalienably  fixed  on  the  world  to  come.  When  business 
leaves  him  but  a  moment  to  recruit  nature,  instead  of  lavishing  the 
short  period  in  indulgence,  his  thoughts  wing  their  way  into  the 
regions  of  devout  and  holy  meditation.  In  short,  he  is  the  most 
exemplary  member  of  this  body." 

At  this  period  of  our  conversation  I  interrupted  Lamela  by  an 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  537 

ebullition  of  joy  to  which  I  gave  vent  at  the  sight  of  Raphael  coming 
in.  "  Here  he  is !"  exclaimed  I ;  "  behold  that  righteous  bursar  for 
whom  I  have  been  so  patiently  waiting."  With  a  leap  and  a  bound 
did  I  run  to  meet  and  embrace  him.  He  submitted  to  the  hug  with 
his  newly-acquired  resignation ;  and,  without  betraying  the  slightest 
shock  at  meeting  with  an  old  companion  of  his  profaner  hours,  hia 
words  were  dictated  by  the  spirit  of  gentleness  and  humility  :  "  The 
powers  above  be  praised,  Signor  de  Santillane,  the  powers  be 
praised  for  this  kind  providence  whereby  we  meet  again."  "  In  good 
truth,  my  dear  Raphael,"  replied  I,  "your  happy  destiny  pleases 
me  as  much  as  if  it  had  been  my  own  good  luck  ;  brother  Ambrose 
has  told  me  the  whole  story  of  your  conversion,  and  the  tale  almost 
moved  me  to  a  similar  change.  What  a  glorious  lot  for  you  two,  my 
friends,  when  you  have  reason  to  flatter  yourselves  with  being  among 
that  picked  number  of  the  elect  who  have  eternal  happiness  thrust 
upon  them  whether  they  will  or  no  1" 

"  Two  miserable  sinners  like  ourselves,"  resumed  the  son  of  Lu- 
cinda,  with  an  air  which  marked  the  extreme  of  sanctified  morality, 
"  must  not  hope  that  our  own  merits  are  of  weight  enough  to  save 
our  souls ;  but  even  the  wicked  one  who  repenteth  findeth  grace 
with  the  Father  of  mercies.  And  you,  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  added  he, 
"  is  it  not  time  to  lay  in  a  claim  for  pardon  of  the  oifences  which 
you  have  committed  ?  What  is  your  business  here  in  Valencia  ? 
Are  you  not  hankering  after  some  office  of  devil's  deputy,  and 
making  shipwreck  of  your  voyage  to  another  world  ?"  "  Not  so,  by 
the  blessing  of  Heaven,"  answered  I ;  "  since  I  turned  my  back  on 
the  court,  I  have  led  a  very  moral  sort  of  life — sometimes  enjoy- 
ing rural  recreations  on  an  estate  of  mine  at  a  few  leagues'  distance 
from  this  town,  and  sometimes  coming  hither  to  pass  my  time 
with  my  friend  the  governor,  whom  you  must  both  know  perfectly 
well." 

On  this  cue  I  related  to  them  the  story  of  Don  Alphonso  de 
Leyva.  They  heard  the  particulars  with  attention;  and  on  my 
telling  them  that  I  had  carried  to  Samuel  Simon,  on  the  part  of 
that  nobleman,  the  three  thousand  ducats  of  which  we  had  robbed 
him,  Lamela  interrupted  the  thread  of  my  narrative,  and  addressing 
his  discourse  to  Raphael,  said,  "  Father  Hilary,  if  this  be  true,  the 
honest  vender  of  wares  has  no  reason  to  quarrel  with  a  robbery 
which  has  paid  him  fifty  per  cent. ;  and  our  consciences,  as  far  as 
that  indictment  goes,  may  bask  in  the  sunshine  of  acquitted  inno- 
cence." "  Brother  Ambrose  and  I,"  said  the  bursar,  "did  actually, 
on  the  assumption  of  the  habit,  send  Samuel  Simon  fifteen  hundred 
ducats  privately,  by  a  pious  ecclesiastic  who  made  a  pilgrimage  to 
Xelva  for  the  sole  purpose  of  accomplishing  this  restitution ;  but  it 


538  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

will  go  hard  with  Samuel  at  the  general  reckoning,  if  he  for  filthy 
lucre  could  soil  his  fingers  with  that  sum,  after  having  been  reim- 
bursed in  full  by  Signer  de  Santillane."  "But,"  said  I,  "how  do 
you  know  that  your  fifteen  hundred  ducats  were  faithfully  paid  into 
his  hands?"  "Unquestionably  they  were  I"  exclaimed  Don  Ra- 
phael ;  "  I  would  answer  for  the  disinterested  purity  of  that  ecclesi- 
astic as  soon  as  for  my  own."  "  I  would  be  your  collateral  security," 
said  Lamela ;  "  he  is  a  priest  of  the  strictest  sanctity,  a  sort  of 
universal  almoner ;  and  though  many  times  cited  for  sums  of  money 
deposited  with  him  for  charitable  uses,  he  has  always  nonsuited  the 
plaintiffs,  and  gone  out  of  court  with  an  augmentation  of  alms- 
giving notoriety." 

Our  conversation  continued  for  some  time  longer :  at  length  we 
parted,  with  many  a  pious  exhortation  on  their  side  always  to  have 
the  fear  of  the  Lord  before  my  eyes,  and  with  many  an  earnest 
entreaty  on  mine  that  they  would  remember  me  constantly  in  their 
prayers.  Don  Alphonso  was  now  the  first  object  of  my  search. 
"  You  will  never  guess,"  said  I,  "  with  whom  I  have  just  had  a  long 
conference.  I  am  but  now  come  from  two  venerable  Carthusians  of 
your  acquaintance ;  the  name  of  the  one  is  Father  Hilary,  that  of 
the  other,  brother  Ambrose."  "  You  are  mistaken,"  answered  Don 
Alphonso ;  "  I  am  not  acquainted  with  a  single  Carthusian."  "  Par- 
don me,"  replied  I ;  "  you  have  seen  brother  Ambrose  at  Xelva  in 
the  capacity  of  commissary,  and  Father  Hilary  as  register  to  the 
Inquisition."  "Oh,  heavens!"  exclaimed  the  governor  with  sur- 
prise, "  can  it  be  within  the  bounds  of  possibility  that  Raphael  and 
Lamela  should  have  turned  Carthusians  ?"  "  It  is  even  so,"  an- 
swered I ;  "  they  professed  several  years  ago.  The  former  is  bursar 
and  proctor  to  the  convent,  the  latter,  porter." 

The  son  of  Don  Caesar  rubbed  his  forehead  twice  or  thrice,  then 
shaking  his  head,  "These  worshipfiil  officers  of  the  Inquisition," 
said  he,  "  most  assuredly  purpose  playing  over  the  old  farce  on  a 
new  stage  here."  "  You  judge  of  them  by  prejudice,"  answered  I, 
"  from  the  impression  of  their  characters  as  men  of  sin :  but  had 
you  been  edified  by  their  lectures  as  I  have  been,  you  would  think 
more  favorably  of  their  holiness.  To  be  sure,  it  is  not  for  mortal 
men  to  fathom  the  depth  of  other  men's  hearts ;  but  to  all  appear- 
ance they  are  two  prodigals  returned  home."  "  It  possibly  may  be 
80,"  replied  Don  Alphonso :  "  there  are  many  instances  of  libertines, 
who  hide  their  heads  in  cloisters,  after  having  scandalized  human 
nature  by  their  obliquities,  expiating  their  offences  by  a  severe 
penance.  I  heartily  wish  that  our  two  monks  may  be  such  libertines 
restored." 

"  Well !  and  why  not?"  said  I.    "They  have  embraced  the  mon- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  539 

astic  life  of  their  own  accord,  and  have  squared  their  conduct  for  a 
length  of  time  according  to  the  maxims  of  their  order."  "  You  may 
say  what  you  please,"  retorted  the  governor ;  "  but  I  do  not  like  the 
convent's  rents  being  received  by  this  Father  Hilary,  of  whom  I 
cannot  help  entertaining  a  very  untoward  opinion.  When  the  fine 
story  he  told  us  of  his  adventures  comes  across  my  mind,  I  tremble 
for  the  reverend  brotherhood.  I  am  willing  to  believe  with  you, 
that  he  has  taken  the  vow  with  the  pious  intention  of  keeping  it ; 
but  the  blaze  of  gold  may  be  too  much  for  the  weakness  of  his  re- 
generated eyesight.  It  is  bad  policy  to  lock  up  a  reformed  drunkard 
in  a  wine  cellar." 

In  the  course  of  a  few  days  Don  Alphonso's  misgivings  were  fully 
justified;  these  two  official  props  and  stays  of  the  establishment 
ran  away  with  the  year's  revenue.  This  news,  which  was  immedi- 
ately noised  about  the  town,  could  not  do  otherwise  than  set  the 
tongues  of  the  wits  in  motion ;  for  they  always  make  themselves 
merry,  at  the  crosses  and  losses  of  the  well-endowed  religious  orders, 
As  for  the  governor  and  myself,  we  condoled  with  the  Carthusians, 
but  kept  our  acquaintance  with  the  apostate  pilferers  in  the  back- 
ground. 


CHAPTER   VII. 


GIL   BLAS  KETURNS  TO  HIS  SEAT  AT  LIBTAS.     SCIPIO'S   AGREEABLE    IN- 
TELLIGENCE.    BEFORM  IN  THE  DOMESTIC  ARRANGEMENTS. 

I  PASSED  a  week  at  Valencia  in  the  first  company,  living  on 
equal  terms  with  the  best  of  the  nobility.  Plays,  balls,  con- 
certs, grand  dinners,  ladies'  parties,  all  things  that  heart  could  wish 
or  vanity  grow  tall  upon,  were  provided  for  me  by  the  governor  and 
his  lady,  to  whom  I  paid  my  court  so  dexterously,  that  they  were 
heartily  sorry  to  see  me  set  out  on  my  return  to  Lirias.  They  even 
obliged  me,  before  they  would  let  me  go,  to  engage  for  a  division  of 
time  between  them  and  my  hermitage.  It  was  determined  that  I 
Bhould  spend  the  winter  in  Valencia,  and  the  summer  at  my  seat. 
After  this  bargain,  ray  benefactors  left  me  at  liberty  to  tear  myself 
from  them,  and  go  where  their  kindness  would  be  always  staring 
me  in  the  face. 

Scipio,  who  was  waiting  impatiently  for  my  return,  was  ready  to 
jump  out  of  his  skin  for  joy  at  the  sight  of  me;  and  his  ecstasies 
were  doubled  at  my  circumstantial  account  of  the  journey.     "And 


640  AD  VEMUliES  OF  GIL  JiLAS. 

now  for  your  history,  my  friend,"  said  I,  taking  breath :  "  to  what 
moral  uses  have  you  turned  the  solitary  period  of  my  absence  ?  Has 
the  time  passed  agreeably  ?"  "  As  well,"  answered  he,  "  as  it  could 
with  a  servant  to  whom  nothing  is  so  dear  as  the  presence  of  his 
master.  I  have  walked  over  our  little  domain,  circuitously  and 
diagonally :  sometimes,  seated  on  the  margin  of  a  fountain  in  our 
wood,  I  have  taken  pleasure  in  beholding  the  transparency  of  its 
waters,  which  are  as  pellucid  as  those  of  the  sacred  spring,  whose 
projection  from  the  rock  made  the  vast  forestof  Albunea  to  resound 
with  the  roar  of  the  cascade :  sometimes,  lying  at  the  foot  of  a  tree, 
I  have  listened  to  the  song  of  the  linnet  or  the  nightingale.  At 
other  times  I  have  hunted  or  fished ;  and,  what  has  given  me  more 
rational  delight  than  all  these  pastimes,  I  have  whiled  away  many 
a  profitable  hour  in  the  improvement  of  my  mind." 

I  interrupted  my  secretary  in  a  tone  of  eager  inquiry,  to  ask  where 
he  had  procured  books.  "  I  found  them,"  said  he,  "  in  an  elegant 
library  here  in  the  house,  whither  Master  Joachim  took  me." 
"Heyday!  in  what  corner,"  resumed  I,  "can  this  said  library  be? 
Did  we  not  go  over  the  whole  building  on  the  day  of  our  arrival?" 
"  You  fancied  so,"  rejoined  he ;  "  but  you  are  to  know  that  we  only 
explored  three  sides  of  the  square,  and  forgot  the  fourth.  It  was 
there  that  Don  Caesar,  when  he  came  to  Lirias,  employed  part  of 
his  time  in  reading.  There  are  in  this  library  some  very  good  books, 
left  as  a  never-failing  phylactery  against  the  blue  devils,  when  our 
gardens,  despoiled  of  Flora's  treasure,  and  our  woods  of  their  leafy 
honors,  shall  no  longer  challenge  those  miscreant  invaders  to  com- 
bat in  the  forest  or  the  bower.  The  lords  of  Leyva  have  not  done 
things  by  halves,  but  have  catered  for  the  mind  as  well  as  for  the 
body." 

This  intelligence  filled  me  with  sincere  rapture.  I  was  shown  to 
the  fourth  side  of  the  square,  and  feasted  with  an  intellectual  ban- 
quet. Don  Caesar's  room  I  immediately  determined  to  make  my 
own.  That  nobleman's  bed  was  still  there,  with  correspondent  fur- 
niture, consisting  of  historical  tapestry,  representing  the  rape  of  the 
Sabine  women  by  the  Romans.  From  the  bedchamber  I  went  into 
a  closet  fitted  up  with  low  bookcases,  well  filled,  and  over  them  the 
portraits  of  the  Spanish  kings.  Near  a  window  which  commanded 
a  prospect  of  a  most  bewitching  country,  there  was  an  ebony 
writing-desk  and  a  large  sofa,  covered  with  black  morocco.  But  I 
gave  my  attention  principally  to  the  library.  It  was  composed  of 
philosophers,  poets,  historians,  and  abounded  in  romances.  Don 
Caesar  seemed  to  give  the  preference  to  that  light  reading,  if  one 
might  judge  by  the  profusion  of  supply.  I  must  own,  to  my  shame, 
that  my  taste  was  not  at  all  above  the  level  of  those  productions, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  541 

notwithstanding  the  extravagances  they  delight  in  stringing  to- 
gether ;  whether  it  was  owing  to  my  not  being  a  very  critical  reader 
at  that  time,  or  because  the  Spaniards  are  naturally  addicted  to  the 
marvellous.  I  must  nevertheless  plead,  in  my  own  justification,  that 
I  was  alive  to  the  charms  of  a  sprightly  and  popular  morality,  and 
that  Lucian,  Horace,  and  Erasmus  became  my  favorite  and  stand- 
ard authors. 

"My  friend,"  said  I  to  Scipio,  when  my  eyes  had  coursed  over 
my  library,  "  here  is  wherewithal  to  feed  and  pamper  our  minds ; 
but  our  present  business  is  to  reform  our  household."  "  On  that 
subject  I  can  spare  you  a  great  deal  of  trouble,"  answered  he. 
"  During  your  absence  I  have  sifted  your  people  thoroughly,  and 
flatter  myself  it  is  no  empty  boast  to  say  that  I  know  them.  Let  us 
begin  with  Master  Joachim  :  I  take  him  to  be  as  great  a  scoundrel  as 
ever  breathed,  and  have  no  doubt  but  he  was  turned  away  from  the 
archbishop's  for  errors  which  were  too  great  to  be  excepted  in  the 
passing  of  his  accounts.  Yet  we  must  keep  him  for  two  reasons : 
the  first,  because  he  is  a  good  cook ;  and  the  second,  because  I  shall 
always  have  an  eye  over  him  ;  I  shall  peep  into  his  actions  like  a 
jackdaw  into  a  marrowbone,  and  he  must  be  a  more  cunning  fellow 
than  I  take  him  for  to  evade  my  vigilance.  I  have  already  told  him 
that  you  intended  discharging  three-fourths  of  your  establishment. 
This  declaration  stuck  in  his  stomach  ;  and  he  assured  me  that,  owing 
to  his  extreme  desire  of  living  with  you,  he  would  be  satisfied  with 
half  his  present  wages  rather  than  be  turned  off",  which  made  me 
suspect  that  he  was  tied  to  the  string  of  some  petticoat  in  the  ham- 
let, and  did  not  like  to  break  \x\y  his  t[uarters.  As  for  the  under- 
cook, he  is  a  drunkard,  and  the  porter  a  foul-mouthed  Cerberus,  of 
whose  guardianship  our  gates  are  in  no  want ;  neither  is  the  game- 
keeper a  necessary  evil.  I  shall  take  the  latter  office  myself,  as  you 
may  see  to-morrow,  when  we  have  got  our  fowling-pieces  in  order, 
and  are  provided  with  powder  and  shot.  With  regard  to  the  foot- 
men, one  of  them  is  an  Arragonese,  and  to  my  mind  a  very  good 
sort  of  fellow.  We  will  keep  him  ;  but  all  the  rest  are  such  rapscal- 
lions that  I  would  not  advise  you  to  harbor  one  of  them,  if  you 
wanted  an  army  of  attendants." 

After  having  fully  debated  the  point,  we  resolved  to  keep  well 
with  the  cook,  the  scullion,  the  Arragonese,  and  to  get  rid  of  the  re- 
mainder as  decently  as  we  could ;  all  which  was  planned  and  exe- 
cuted on  the  same  day,  mollifying  the  bitter  dose  by  the  application 
of  a  few  pistoles,  which  Scipio  took  from  our  strong  box,  and  dis- 
tributed among  them  as  from  me.  When  we  had  carried  this  reform 
into  effect,  order  was  soon  established  in  our  mansion ;  we  divided  the 
business  fairly  among  our  remaining  people,  and  began  to  look  into 


642  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

our  expenses.  I  could  willingly  have  been  contented  with  very 
frugal  commons ;  but  my  secretary,  loving  high  dishes  and  relishing 
bits,  was  not  a  man  who  would  suflfer  Master  Joachim  to  hold  his 
place  as  a  sinecure.  He  kept  his  talents  in  such  constant  play, 
working  double  tides  at  dinner  and  at  supper,  that  any  one  would 
have  thought  we  had  been  converted  by  Father  Hilary,  and  were 
working  out  the  term  of  our  probation.  • 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  LOVES  OF  GIL  BLAS  AND  THE  FAIR  ANTONIA. 

TWO  days  after  my  return  from  Valencia  to  Lirias,  clodpole 
Basil,  my  farming  man,  came  at  my  dressing-time  to  beg  the 
favor  of  introducing  his  daughter  Antonia,  who  was  very  desirous, 
as  he  said,  to  have  the  honor  of  paying  her  respects  to  her  new  mas- 
ter. I  answered  that  it  was  very  proper,  and  would  be  well  received. 
He  withdrew,  and  in  a  few  minutes  returned  with  his  peerless  An- 
tonia. That  epithet,  though  bold,  will  not  be  thought  extravagant 
in  the  case  of  a  girl  from  sixteen  to  eighteen  years  of  age,  uniting  to 
regular  features  the  finest  complexion  and  the  brightest  eyes  in  the 
world.  She  was  dressed  in  nothing  better  than  a  stuff  gown ;  but  a 
stature  somewhat  above  the  female  standard,  a  dignified  deportment, 
and  such  graces  as  soared  higher  than  the  mere  freshness  and  glow 
of  youth,  communicated  to  her  rustic  attire  the  simplicity  of  classi- 
cal costume.  She  had  no  cap  on  her  head;  her  hair  was  fastened 
behind  with  a  knot  of  flowers,  according  to  the  chaste  severity  of  the 
Spartan  fashionables. 

When  she  illumined  my  chamber  with  her  presence,  I  was  struck 
as  much  on  a  heap  by  her  beauty  as  ever  were  the  princes,  knights, 
nobles,  and  strangers,  assembled  at  the  solemn  feast  and  tournament 
of  Charlemain,  by  the  personal  charms  of  Angelica,  Instead  of  re- 
ceiving Antonia  with  modish  indifference,  and  paying  her  compli- 
ments of  course,  instead  of  ringing  the  changes  on  her  father's 
happiness  in  possessing  so  lovely  a  daughter,  I  stood  stock  still, 
staring,  gaping,  stammering:  I  could  not  have  uttered  an  articulate 
sound  for  the  universal  world.  Scipio,  who  saw  clearly  what  was 
the  matter  with  me,  took  the  words  out  of  my  mouth,  and  accepted 
those  bills  of  admiration  which  my  affairs  were  in  too  much  disorder 
to  admit  of  my  duly  honoring.     For  her  part,  my  figure  being 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  643 

shrouded  by  a  dressing-gown  and  nightcap,  like  the  orb  of  day  by  a 
winter  fog,  she  accosted  me  without  being  shamefaced,  and  paid  her 
duty  in  terms  which  fired  all  the  combustibles  in  my  composition, 
though  her  words  were  but  the  holiday  expressions  of  commonplace 
salutation.  In  the  meantime,  while  my  secretary,  Basil,  and  his 
daughter,  were  engaged  in  reciprocal  exchange  of  civility,  I  found 
my  senses  again ;  and  passed  from  one  extreme  of  absurdity  to  an- 
other, just  as  if  I  had  thought  that  a  hare-brained  loquacity  would 
be  a  set-off  against  the  idiotic  silence  of  my  first  encounter.  I  ex- 
hausted all  my  stock  of  well-bred  rodomontade,  and  expressed  myself 
with  so  unguarded  a  freedom  as  to  make  Basil  look  about  him ;  so 
that  he,  with  his  eye  upon  me  as  a  man  who  would  set  every  engine 
at  work  to  seduce  Antonia,  was  in  a  hurry  to  get  her  safely  out  of 
my  apartment,  with  a  resolved  purpose,  probably;;  of  withdrawing 
her  forever  from  my  pursuit. 

Scipio,  finding  himself  alone  with  me,  said  with  a  smile,  "  Here 
is  another  defence  for  you  against  the  blue  devils  1  I  did  not  know 
that  your  farming  man  had  so  pretty  a  daughter ;  for  I  had  never 
seen  her  before,  though  I  have  been  twice  at  his  house.  He  must 
have  taken  infinite  pains  to  keep  her  out  of  the  way,  and  it  is 
impossible  to  be  angry  at  him  for  it.  What  the  plague!  here  is  a 
morsel  for  a  lickerish  palate  I  But  there  seems  to  be  no  necessity 
for  blazoning  her  perfections  to  you  ;  their  very  first  glance  dazzled 
you  out  of  countenance,"  "  I  do  not  deny  it,"  answered  I.  "  Ah, 
my  beloved  friend,  I  have  surely  seen  an  inhabitant  of  the  realms 
above ;  the  electrical  spark  now  thrills  through  all  my  frame ;  it 
scorches  like  lightning,  yet  tingles  like  the  vivifying  fluid  at  my 
heart." 

"You  delight  me  beyond  measure,"  replied  my  secretary,  "by 
giving  me  to  understand  that  you  have  at  length  fallen  in  love. 
Nothing  but  a  mistress  was  wanting  to  complete  your  rural  estab- 
lishment at  all  points.  Thanks  to  Heaven,  you  are  now  likely  to 
be  accommodated  in  every  way.  I  am  well  aware  that  we  shall 
have  a  hard  matter  to  elude  Basil's  vigilance ;  but  leave  that  to  me, 
and  I  will  undertake  before  the  end  of  three  days  to  manage  a  pri- 
vate meeting  for  you  with  Antonia."  "  Master  Scipio,"  said  I,  "  it 
is  not  BO  sure  that  you  will  be  able  to  keep  your  word ;  but,  at  all 
events,  I  have  not  the  least  desire  to  make  the  experiment.  I  will 
have  nothing  to  do  with  the  ruin  of  that  girl,  for  she  is  an  angel,  and 
does  not  deserve  to  be  numbered  among  the  fallen  ones.  Therefore, 
instead  of  laying  the  guilt  upon  your  soul  of  assisting  me  in  her 
dishonor,  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  marry  her,  with  your  kind 
help,  supposing  her  heart  not  to  be  preoccupied  by  a  prior  attach- 
ment."   "  I  had  no  idea,"  said  he,  **  of  your  directly  plunging  head- 


544  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

long  into  the  cold  bath  of  matrimony.  The  generality  of  landlords 
in  your  place  would  stand  upon  the  ancient  tenure  of  manorial 
rights ;  they  would  not  deal  with  Antonia  upon  the  square  of 
modern  law  and  gospel,  till  after  failure  in  the  establishment  of 
their  feudal  privileges.  But  though  this  may  be  the  way  of  the 
world,  do  not  suppose  that  I  am  by  any  means  against  your  honor- 
able passion,  or  at  all  wish  to  dissuade  you  from  your  purpose. 
Your  bailiff's  daughter  deserves  the  distinction  you  design  for  her, 
if  she  can  give  you  the  first  fruits  of  her  heart,  an  offering  of  sensi- 
bility and  gratitude ;  that  is  what  I  shall  ascertain  this  very  day,  by 
talking  with  her  father,  and  possibly  with  her." 

My  agent  was  a  man  to  transact  his  business  according  to  the 
letter.  He  went  to  see  Basil  privately,  and  in  the  evening  came  to 
me  in  my  closet,  where  I  waited  for  him  with  impatience,  somewhat 
exasperated  by  apprehension.  There  was  a  slyness  in  his  counte- 
nance, whence  my  prognostic  inclined  to  the  brighter  side.  "Judg- 
ing," said  I,  "  by  that  look  of  suppressed  merriment,  you  are  come 
to  acquaint  me  that  I  shall  soon  be  at  the  summit  of  human  bliss." 
"Yes,  my  dear  master,"  answered  he;  "the  heavens  smile  upon 
your  vows.  I  have  talked  the  matter  over  with  Basil  and  his 
daughter,  declaring  your  intentions  without  reserve.  The  father  is 
delighted  at  the  idea  of  your  asking  his  blessing  as  a  son-in-law ; 
and  you  may  set  your  heart  at  rest  about  Antonia's  taste  in  a  hus- 
band." "  Darts  and  flames !"  cried  I,  in  an  ecstasy  of  amorous 
transport.  "  What!  am  I  so  happy  as  to  have  made  myself  agree- 
able to  that  lovely  creature  ?"  "  Never  question  it,"  replied  he ; 
"  she  loves  you  already.  It  is  true  she  has  not  owned  so  much  by 
word  of  mouth;  but  my  assurance  rests  on  the  tale-telling  sparkle 
of  her  eye  when  your  proposals  were  made  known  to  her.  And  yet 
you  have  a  rival."  "  A  rival !"  exclaimed  I,  with  a  faltering  voice 
and  a  cheek  blanched  with  fear.  "  Do  not  let  that  give  you  the 
least  uneasiness,"  said  he ;  "  your  competitor  cannot  bid  very  high, 
for  he  is  no  other  than  Master  Joachim,  your  cook."  "  Ah  I  the 
hangdog!"  said  I,  with  an  involuntary  shout  of  laughter;  "this  is 
the  reason,  then,  why  he  had  so  great  an  objection  to  being  turned 
out  of  my  service."  "Exactly  so,"  answered  Scipio;  "within  these 
few  days  he  made  proposals  of  marriage  to  Antonia,  who  politely 
declined  them."  "  With  submission  to  your  better  judgment,"  re- 
plied I,  "  it  would  be  expedient — at  least  so  it  strikes  me — to  get  rid 
of  that  strange  fellow  before  he  is  informed  of  my  intended  match 
with  Basil's  daughter ;  a  cook,  as  you  are  aware,  is  a  dangerous 
rival."  "  You  are  perfectly  in  the  right,"  rejoined  my  trusty  coun- 
sellor ;  "we  must  clear  the  premises  of  him,— he  shall  receive  his 
discharge  from  me  to-morrow  morning,  before  he  puts  a  finger  in 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  546 

the  fricandeaus ;  thus  you  will  have  nothing  more  to  fear  either 
from  his  poisonous  sauces  or  bewitching  tongue.  Yet  it  goes 
rather  against  the  grain  with  me  to  part  with  so  good  a  cook  ;  but  I 
sacrifice  the  interests  of  my  own  belly  to  the  preservation  of  your 
precious  person."  "You  need  not,"  said  I,  "take  on  so  for  his 
loss ;  he  had  no  exclusive  patent ;  and  I  will  send  to  Valencia  for  a 
cook  who  shall  outcook  all  his  fine  cookery."  According  to  my  pro- 
mise, I  wrote  immediately  to  Don  Alphonso,  to  let  him  know  that 
our  kitchen  wanted  a  prime  minister,  and  on  the  following  day  he 
filled  up  the  vacancy  in  so  worthy  a  manner  as  reconciled  Scipio  at 
once  to  the  change  in  culinary  politics. 

Though  my  adroit  and  active  secretary  had  assured  me  of  An- 
tonia's  secret  self-congratulation  on  the  conquest  of  her  landlord's 
heart,  I  could  not  venture  to  rely  solely  on  his  report.  I  was  fearful 
lest  he  should  have  been  entrapped  by  false  appearances.  To  be 
more  certain  of  my  bliss,  I  determined  on  speaking  in  person  to  the 
fair  Antonia.  I  therefore  went  to  Basil's  house,  and  confirmed  to 
him  what  my  ambassador  had  announced.  This  honest  peasant,  of 
patriarchal  simplicity  and  golden-aged  frankness,  after  having  heard 
me  through,  did  not  hesitate  to  own  that  it  would  be  the  greatest 
happiness  of  his  life  to  give  me  his  daughter;  "but,"  added  he, 
"  you  are  by  no  means  to  suppose  that  it  is  because  you  are  lord  of 
the  manor.  Were  you  still  steward  to  Don  Cajsar  and  Don  Al- 
phonso, I  should  prefer  you  to  all  other  suitors  who  might  apply :  I 
have  always  felt  a  sort  of  kindness  towards  you  ;  and  nothing  vexes 
me  but  that  Antonia  has  not  a  thumping  fortune  to  bring  with  her." 
"  I  want  not  the  vile  dross,"  said  I ;  "  her  person  is  the  only  dowry 
that  I  covet."  "  Your  humble  servant  for  that,"  cried  he ;  "  but  you 
will  not  settle  accounts  with  me  after  that  fashion ;  I  am  not  a  beg- 
gar, to  marry  my  daughter  upon  charity.  Basil  de  Buenotrigo  is  in 
circumstances,  by  the  blessing  of  Providence,  to  portion  her  oflf  de- 
cently ;  and  I  mean  that  she  should  set  out  a  little  supper,  if  you 
are  to  be  at  the  expense  of  dinners.  In  a  word,  the  rental  of  this 
estate  is  only  five  hundred  ducats:  I  shall  raise  it  to  a  thousand, 
on  the  strength  of  this  marriage." 

"  Just  as  you  please,  my  dear  Basil,"  replied  I ;  "we  are  not  likely 
to  have  any  dispute  about  money  matters.  We  are  both  of  a  mind ; 
all  that  remains  is  to  get  your  daughter's  consent."  "  You  have 
mine,"  said  he,  "  and  that  is  enough."  "  Not  altogether  so,"  an- 
swered I;  "though  yours  may  be  absolutely  necessary,  no  business 
can  be  done  without  hers."  "  Hers  follows  mine  of  course,"  replied 
he;  "  I  should  like  to  catch  her  murmuring  against  my  sovereign 
commands!"  "Antonia,"  rejoined  I,  "with  dutiful  submission  to 
paternal  authority,  is  ready,  without  question,  to  obey  your  will 
35 


516  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAH. 

implicitly  in  all  things ;  but  I  know  not  whether  in  the  present  in- 
stance she  would  do  so  without  violence  to  her  own  feelings ;  and, 
should  that  be  the  case,  I  could  never  forgive  myself  for  being  .the 
occasion  of  unhappiness  to  her ;  in  short,  it  is  not  enough  that  I 
obtain  her  hand  from  you,  if  her  heart  is  to  heave  a  sigh  at  the 
decision  of  her  destiny."  "  O,  blessed  virgin  1"  said  Basil ;  "  all 
these  fine  doctrines  of  philosophy  are  far  above  my  reach ;  speak  to 
Antonia  your  own  self,  and  you  will  find,  or  I  am  very  much  mis- 
taken, that  she  wishes  for  nothing  better  than  to  be  your  wife." 
These  words  were  no  sooner  out  of  his  mouth,  than  he  called  his 
daughter,  and  left  me  with  her  for  a  few  short  minutes. 

Not  to  trifle  with  so  precious  an  opportunity,  I  broke  my  mind  to 
her  at  once.  "  LoA'ely  Antonia,"  said  I,  "  it  remains  with  you  to  fix 
the  color  of  my  future  days.  Though  I  have  your  father's  consent, 
do  not  think  so  meanly  of  me  as  to  suppose  that  I  would  avail  my- 
self of  it  to  violate  the  sacred  freedom  of  your  choice.  Rapturous 
as  must  be  the  possession  of  your  charms,  I  waive  my  pretensions  if 
you  but  tell  me  that  your  duty,  and  not  your  will,  complies."  "  It 
would  be  affectation  to  put  on  such  a  repugnance,"  answered  she ; 
"  the  honor  of  your  addresses  is  too  flattering  to  excite  any  other 
than  agreeable  sensations,  and  I  am  thankful  for  my  father's  tender 
care  of  me,  instead  of  demurring  to  his  will.  I  am  not  sure  whether 
such  an  acknowledgment  may  not  be  contrary  to  the  rules  of  female 
reserve  in  the  polite  world ;  but  if  you  were  disagreeable  to  me,  I 
should  be  plain-spoken  enough  to  tell  you  so ;  why,  then,  should  I 
not  be  equally  free  in  owning  the  kind  feelings  of  my  heart?" 

At  sounds  like  these,  which  I  could  not  hear  without  being  enrap- 
tured, I  dropped  on  my  knees  before  Antonia,  and  in  the  excess  of 
my  tender  emotions,  taking  one  of  her  fair  hands,  kissed  it  with  an 
affectionate  and  impassioned  action.  "  My  dear  Antonia,"  said  I, 
"  your  frankness  enchants  me :  go  on ;  let  nothing  induce  you  to 
depart  from  it ;  you  are  conversing  with  your  future  husband ;  let 
your  soul  expand  itself,  and  reveal  all  its  inmost  emotions  in  his 
presence.  Thus,  then,  may  I  entertain  the  flattering  hope  that  you 
will  not  frown  on  the  union  of  our  destinies  !"  The  coming  in  of 
Basil  at  this  moment  prevented  me  from  giving  further  vent  to  the 
delightful  sensations  which  thrilled  through  me.  Impatient  to  know 
how  his  daughter  had  behaved,  and  ready  primed  for  scolding  in 
case  she  had  been  perverse  or  coy,  he  made  up  to  me  immediately, 
"  Well,  now,"  said  he,  "  are  you  satisfied  with  Antonia  ?"  "  So  much 
so,"  answered  I,  "  that  I  am  going  this  very  moment  to  set  forward 
the  preparations  for  our  marriage."  So  saying,  I  left  the  father 
and  daughter,  for  the  purpose  of  taking  counsel  with  my  secretary 
thereupon. 


ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  647 


CHAPTER  IX. 

NTTPTIALS  OF  GIL    BLAS   WITH  THE  FAIR  ANTONIA :    THE    STYLE  AND 
MANNER  OF  THE  CEREMONY. 

THOUGH  there  was  no  occasion  to  consult  with  the  lords  of 
Leyva  about  my  marriage,  yet  Scipio  and  myself  were  of  opinion 
that  I  could  not  decently  do  otherwise  than  communicate  to  them 
my  purpose  of  connecting  myself  with  Basil's  daughter,  and  just 
pay  them  the  compliment  of  asking  their  advice,  after  the  act  was 
finally  determined  on. 

I  immediately  went  off  to  Valencia,  where  my  visit  was  a  matter 
of  surprise,  and  still  more  the  purport  of  it.  Don  Caesar  and  Don 
Alphonso,  who  were  acquainted  with  Antonia,  having  seen  her  more 
than  once,  wished  me  joy  on  my  good  fortune  in  a  wife.  Don 
Caesar,  in  particular,  made  his  speech  upon  the  occasion  with  so 
much  youthful  fire,  that  if  there  had  not  been  reason  to  suppose  his 
lordship  weaned,  by  that  icy  moralist,  time,  from  certain  naughty 
propensities,  I  should  have  suspected  him  of  going  to  Lirias  now 
and  then,  not  so  much  to  look  after  his  concerns  there,  as  after  his 
little  empress  of  the  dairy,  Seraphina,  too,  with  the  kindest  assur- 
ances of  a  lively  interest  in  whatever  might  befall  me,  said  that  she 
bad  heard  a  very  favorable  character  of  Antonia;  "but,"  added 
she,  with  a  malicious  fling,  as  if  to  taunt  me  with  my  supercilious 
reception  of  Sephora's  amorous  advances,  "  even  though  her  beauty 
had  not  been  so  much  the  talk  of  the  country,  I  could  have  de- 
pended on  your  taste,  from  former  experience  of  its  delicacy  and 
fastidiousness." 

Don  Caesar  and  his  son  did  not  stop  at  cold  approbation  of  my 
marriage,  but  declared  that  they  would  defray  all  the  expenses  of  it. 
"  Measure  back  your  steps,"  said  they,  "  to  Lirias,  and  stay  quietly 
there  till  you  hear  further  from  us.  Make  no  preparation  for  your 
nuptials,  for  we  shall  make  that  our  concern."  To  meet  their  kind 
intentions  with  becoming  gratitude,  I  returned  to  my  mansion,  and 
acquainted  Basil  and  his  daughter  with  the  projected  kindness  of 
our  patrons.  We  determined  to  wait  their  pleasure  with  as  much 
patience  as  falls  to  the  lot  of  poor  human  nature  under  such  cir- 
cumstances. Eight  long  days  dragged  out  their  tedious  measure, 
and  brought  no  tidings  of  our  bliss.  But  the  rewards  of  self-control 
are  not  the  less  assured  for  being  slow  :  on  the  ninth,  a  coach  drawn 
by  four  mules  drove  up,  with  a  cargo  of  mantua-makers  for  the  bride, 
and  an  assortment  of  rich  silks  on  which  to  exercise  their  art. 
Several  livery  servants,  mounted  on  mules,  accompanied  the  caval- 


548  ADVENTUREii  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

cade.  One  of  them  brought  me  a  letter  from  Don  Alphonso.  That 
nobleman  sent  me  word  that  he  would  be  at  Lirias  next  day  with 
his  father  and  his  wife,  and  that  the  marriage  ceremony  should  be 
performed  on  the  day  after  that,  by  the  vicar-general  of  Valencia. 
And  just  so  it  came  to  pass :  Don  Caesar,  his  son,  and  Seraphina, 
with  that  venerable  dignitary,  were  punctual  to  their  appointment, 
all  four  of  them  in  a  coach  and  six, — none  of  your  mules,  like  the 
mantua-makers, — preceded  by  another  coach  and  four,  with  Sera- 
phina's  women  ;  and  the  rear  was  brought  up  by  a  company  of  the 
governor's  guards. 

The  governor's  lady  had  hardly  entered  the  house  before  she  tes- 
tified an  ardent  longing  to  see  Antonia,  who,  on  her  part,  no  sooner 
knew  that  Seraphina  was  arrived,  than  she  ran  forward  to  bid  her 
welcome,  with  a  respectful  kiss  upon  her  hand,  so  gracefully  and 
modestly  impressed,  that  all  the  company  were  enchanted  at  the 
action,  "  And  now,  madam,"  said  Don  Caesar  to  his  daughter-in- 
law,  "  what  do  you  think  of  Antonia?  Could  Santillane  have  made 
a  better  choice  ?"  "  No,"  answered  Seraphina,  "  they  are  worthy 
each  of  the  other ;  there  can  be  no  doubt  but  their  union  will  be 
most  happy."  In  short,^  every  one  was  lavish  in  the  praise  of  my 
intended  ;  and  if  they  felt  her  beams  so  powerfully  under  the  eclipse 
of  stuff  gown,  what  must  they  not  have  endured  from  her  brightness 
in  the  meridian  sunshine  of  her  wedding  finery  ?  One  would  have 
fancied  she  had  been  clothed  in  silks,  jewels,  and  fine  linen  from 
her  cradle,  by  the  dignity  of  her  air  and  the  ease  of  her  deportment. 

The  happy  moment  which  was  to  unite  two  fond  lovers  in  the 
bands  of  Hymen  being  arrived,  Don  Alphonso  took  me  by  the  hand 
and  led  me  to  the  altar,  while  Seraphina  conferred  the  like  honor 
on  the  bride  elect.  Our  procession  had  marched  in  fit  and  decent 
order  through  the  hamlet  to  the  chapel,  where  the  vicar-general  was 
waiting  to  go  through  the  service ;  and  the  ceremony  was  performed 
amidst  the  heartfelt  congratulations  of  the  inhabitants,  and  of  all 
the  wealthy  farmers  in  the  neighborhood,  whom  Basil  had  invited 
to  Antonia's  wedding.  Their  daughters,  too,  came  in  their  train, 
tricked  out  in  ribbons  and  in  flowers,  and  dancing  to  the  music  of 
their  own  tambourines.  We  returned  to  the  mansion  under  the 
same  escort ;  and  there  by  the  provident  attentions  of  Scipio,  who 
oflSciated  as  high  steward  and  master  of  the  ceremonies,  we  found 
three  tables  set  out ;  one  for  the  principals  of  the  party,  another  for 
their  household,  and  the  third,  which  was  by  far  the  largest,  for  all 
invited  guests  promiscuously.  Antonia  was  at  the  first,  the  gov- 
ernor's lady  having  made  a  point  of.it;  I  did  the  honors  of  the 
second ;  and  Basil  was  placed  at  the  head  of  that  where  the  country 
people  dined.     As  for  Scipio,  he  never  sat  down,  but  was  here,  there 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  549 

and  everywhere,  fetching  and  carrying,  changing  plates  and  filling 
bumpers,  urging  the  company  to  call  freely  for  what  they  wanted, 
and  egging  them  on  to  mirth  and  jollity. 

The  entertainment  had  been  prepared  by  the  governor's  cooks ; 
and  that  is  as  much  as  to  say  that  there  were  all  the  delicacies  im- 
aginable, in  season  or  out  of  season.  The  good  wines  laid  in  for  me 
by  Master  Joachim  were  set  running  at  a  furious  rate;  the  guests 
were  beginning  to  feel  their  jovial  influence,  pleasantry  and  repartee 
gave  a  zest  to  conviviality,  when  on  a  sudden  our  harmony  was  in- 
terrupted by  an  alarming  occurrence.  My  secretary,  being  in  the 
hall  where  I  was  dining  with  Don  Alphonso's  principal  officers  and 
Seraphina's  women,  suddenly  fainted.  I  started  up  and  ran  to  his 
assistance ;  and,  while  I  was  employed  in  bringing  him  about,  one 
of  the  women  was  taken  ill  also.  It  was  evident  to  the  whole  com- 
pany that  this  sympathetic  malady  must  involve  some  mysterious 
incident,  as  in  effect  it  turned  out,  almost  immediately,  that  thereby 
hung  a  tale ;  for  Scipio  soon  recovered,  and  said  to  me  in  a  low 
voice,  "  Why  must  one  man's  meat  be  another  man's  poison,  and 
the  most  auspicious  of  your  days  the  curse  of  mine  ?  But  every 
man  bears  the  bundle  of  his  sins  upon  his  back,  and  my  pack- 
saddle  is  once  more  thrown  across  my  shoulders  in  the  person  of 
my  wife." 

"  Powers  of  mercy !"  exclaimed  I,  "  this  can  never  be !  It  is  all  a 
romance.  What !  you  the  husband  of  that  lady  whose  nerves  were 
so  affected  by  the  disturbance  ?"  "  Yes,  sir,"  answered  he,  "  I  am 
her  husband ;  and  fortune,  if  you  will  take  the  word  of  a  sinner, 
could  not  have  done  me  a  dirtier  office  than  by  conjuring  up  such 
a  grievance  as  this."  "  I  know  not,  my  friend,"  replied  I,  "  what 
reasons  you  may  have  for  thus  belaboring  your  rib  with  wordy 
buffets ;  but  however  she  may  be  to  blame,  in  mercy  keep  a  bridle 
on  your  tongue ;  if  you  have  any  regard  for  me,  do  not  displace  the 
mirth  and  spoil  the  pleasure  of  this  nuptial  meeting  by  ominous 
disorder  or  enraged  questions  of  past  injuries."  "You  shall  have 
no  reason  to  complain  on  that  score,"  rejoined  Scipio,  "but  shall 
see  presently  whether  I  am  not  a  very  apt  dissembler." 

With  this  assurance  he  went  forward  to  his  wife,  whom  her  com-^ 
panions  had  also  brought  back  to  life  and  recollection,  and,  em- 
bracing her  with  as  much  apparent  fervor  as  if  his  raptures  had 
been  real,  "Ah,  my  dear  Beatrice,"  said  he,  "Heaven  has  at  length 
united  us  again  after  ten  years  of  cruel  separation  I  But  this  blissful 
moment  is  well  purchased  by  whole  ages  of  torturing  suspense !" 
"  I  know  not,"  answered  his  spouse,  "  whether  you  really  are  at  all 
the  happier  for  having  recovered  a  part  of  yourself:  but  of  this  at 
least  I  am  fully  certain,  that  you  never  had  any  reason  to  run  away 


r>oO  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

from  me  as  you  did.  A  fine  story  indeed  I  You  found  me  one  night 
with  Signor  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva,  who  was  in  love  with  my 
mistress  Julia,  and  consulted  me  on  the  subject  of  his  passion  ;  and 
only  for  that,  you  must  take  it  into  your  stupid  head  that  I  was 
caballing  with  him  against  your  honor  and  my  own:  thereupon 
that  poor  brain  of  yours  was  turned  with  jealousy;  you  quitted 
Toledo  in  a  huff,  and  ran  away  from  your  own  flesh  and  blood  as 
you  would  from  a  monster  of  the  deserts,  without  leaving  word  why 
or  wherefore.  Now,  which  of  us  two,  be  so  good  as  to  tell  me,  has 
most  reason  to  take  on  and  be  pettish  ?"  "  Your  own  dear  self, 
beyond  all  question,"  replied  Scipio.  "Beyond  all  question,"  re- 
echoed she,  "my  own  ill-used  self.  Don  Ferdinand,  very  shortly 
after  you  had  taken  yourself  off  from  Toledo,  married  Julia,  with 
whom  I  continued  as  long  as  she  lived ;  and,  after  he  had  lost  her 
by  sudden  death,  I  came  into  my  lady  her  sister's  service,  who,  as 
well  as  all  her  maids, — and  I  would  do  as  much  for  them, — will 
give  me  a  good  character ;  honest  and  sober,  and  a  very  termagant 
among  the  impertinent  fellows." 

My  secretary,  having  nothing  to  allege  against  such  a  character 
from  my  lady  and  her  maids,  was  determined  to  make  the  best  of  a 
bad  bargain.  "  Once  for  all,"  said  he  to  his  spouse,  "  I  acknowl- 
edge my  bad  behavior,  and  beg  pardon  for  it  before  this  honorable 
assembly."  It  was  now  time  for  me  to  act  the  mediator,  and  to 
move  Beatrice  for  an  act  of  amnesty,  assuring  her  that  her  husband 
from  this  time  forward  would  make  it  the  great  object  of  his  life  to 
play  the  husband  to  her  satisfaction.  She  began  to  see  that  there 
was  reason  in  roasting  of  eggs,  and  all  present  were  loud  in  their 
congratulations  on  the  triumph  of  suffering  virtue,  and  the  reno- 
vated pledge  of  broken  vows.  To  bind  the  contract  firmer,  and 
make  it  memorable,  they  were  seated  next  to  one  another  at  table ; 
their  healths  were  drank  according  to  the  laws  of  toasting :  "  Wish 
you  joy !"  "  Many  returns  of  this  happy  day  !"  rang  round  on  every 
side:  one  would  have  sworn  that  the  dinner  was  given  for  their 
reconciliation,  and  not  on  account  of  my  marriage. 

The  third  table  was  the  first  to  be  cleared.  The  young  villagers 
jumped  up  in  a  body ;  the  lads  took  out  their  blooming  partners ; 
the  tambourines  struck  up  a  merry  beat;  spectators  flocked  from 
the  other  tables,  and  caught  the  enlivening  spirit  from  the  gay 
bustle  of  the  scene.  Every  limb  and  muscle  of  every  individual 
was  in  motion :  the  household  of  the  governor  and  his  lady  formed 
a  set,  apart  from  the  rustics  of  the  company,  while  their  superiors 
did  not  disdain  to  mingle  with  the  homelier  dancers.  Don  Alphonso 
danced  a  sarabar.d  with  Seraphina,  and  Don  Caesar  another  with 
Antonia,  who  afterwards  took  me  for  her  partner.    She  did  not  per- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  651 

form  much  amiss,  considering  that  she  never  got  much  further  than 
the  five  positions,  in  learning  which  she  had  had  her  ankles  kicked  to 
pieces  by  a  provincial  dancing-master  at  Albarazin,  while  on  a  visit 
to  a  tradesman's  wife,  one  of  her  relations.  As  for  me,  who,  as  I 
have  already  said,  had  taken  lessons  at  the  Marchioness  de  Chaves's, 
I  figured  away  as  the  principal  man  in  this  rural  ballet.  With  re- 
gard to  Beatrice  and  Scipio,  they  preferred  a  little  private  conver- 
sation to  dancing,  that  they  might  compare  notes  on  the  subject  oh 
wear  and  tear  during  the  painful  period  of  separation ;  but  their 
billing  and  cooing  was  interrupted  by  Seraphina,  who,  having  been 
informed  of  this  dramatic  discovery,  sent  for  them  to  pay  the  cus- 
tomary compliments  of  congratulation.  "  My  good  people,"  said 
she,  "  on  this  day  of  general  joy,  it  gives  me  additional  pleasure  to 
see  you  two  restored  to  one  another.  My  friend  Scipio,  I  return 
you  your  wife  under  a  firm  belief  that  she  has  always  conducted 
herself  as  became  a  woman ;  take  up  your  abode  with  her  here,  and 
be  a  good  husband  to  her.  And  you,  Beatrice,  attach  yourself  to 
Antonia,  and  let  her  be  as  much  the  object  of  your  devoted  service 
as  Signor  de  Santillane  is  that  of  your  husband."  Scipio,  who  could 
not  possibly,  after  this,  think  of  Penelope  as  fit  to  hold  a  candle  to 
his  own  wife,  promised  to  treat  her  with  all  the  deference  due  to 
such  a  paragon  of  conjugal  fidelity. 

The  country  people,  having  kept  up  the  dance  till  late,  withdrew 
to  their  own  homes ;  but  the  rejoicings  were  prolonged  by  the  com- 
pany in  the  house.  There  was  a  grand  supper,  and  at  bed-time  the 
vicar-general  pronounced  the  blessing  of  consummation.  Seraphina 
undressed  the  bride,  and  the  lords  of  Leyva  did  me  the  same  honor. 
The  ridiculous  part  of  the  business  was,  that  Don  Alphonso's  officers 
and  his  lady's  attendants  took  it  into  their  heads,  by  way  of  divert- 
ing themselves,  to  perform  the  same  ceremony :  they  also  undressed 
Beatrice  and  Scipio,  who,  to  render  the  scene  supremely  farcical, 
gravely  allowed  themselves  to  be  untrussed  and  put  to  bed  with  all 
nuptial  pomp  and  state. 


552  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  HONEYMOON  (A  VERY  DULL  TIME  FOR  THE  READER),  ENLIVENED 
BY  THE  COMMENCEMENT  OF  SCIPIO'S  STORY. 

"  'Tis  lieaven  itself,  'tis  ecstasy  of  bliss, 
Uninterrupted  joy,  untired  excess ; 
Mirtli  following  mirth,  the  moments  dance  away ; 
Love  claims  the  night,  and  friendship  rules  the  day." 

ON  the  day  after  the  wedding,  the  lords  of  Leyva  returned  to 
Valencia,  after  having  lavished  on  me  a  thousand  marks  of 
friendship.  There  was  such  a  general  clearance,  that  my  secretary 
and  myself,  with  our  respective  wives,  and  our  usual  establishment, 
were  left  in  uadisturbed  possession  of  our  own  home. 

The  efforts  which  we  both  made  to  please  our  ladies  were  not 
thrown  away  :  I  breathed  by  degrees  into  the  partner  of  my  joys  and 
sorrows  as  much  love  for  me  as  I  entertained  for  her ;  and  Scipio 
made  his  better  part  forget  the  woes  and  privations  he  had  occa- 
sioned her.  Beatrice,  who  had  very  winning  ways  with  her,  and  was 
all  things  to  all  women,  had  no  difficulty  about  worming  herself  into 
the  good  graces  of  her  new  mistress,  and  gaining  her  complete  con- 
fidence. In  short,  we  all  four  agreed  admirably  well  together,  and 
began  to  enjoy  a  bliss  above  the  common  lot  of  humanity.  Every 
day  rolled  along  more  delightfully  than  the  last.  Antonia  was 
pensive  and  demure ;  but  Beatrice  and  myself  were  enlisted  in  the 
crew  of  mirth ;  and  even  though  we  had  been  constitutionally  sedate, 
Scipio  was  among  us,  and  he  was  of  himself  a  pill  to  purge  melan- 
choly. The  best  creature  in  the  world  for  a  snug  little  party  1  one 
of  those  merry  drolls  who  have  only  to  show  their  comical  faces,  and 
set  the  table  in  a  roar  of  inextinguishable  laughter. 

One  day,  when  we  had  taken  a  fancy  to  go  after  dinncK  and  doze 
away  the  usual  interval  in  the  most  sequestered  spot  about  the 
grounds,  my  secretary  got  into  such  exuberant  spirits  as  to  chase 
away  the  drowsy  god  by  his  exhilarating  sallies.  "  Do  hold  your 
tongue,  my  loquacious  friend,"  said  I ;  "  or  else,  if  you  are  determined 
to  wage  war  against  this  lazy  custom  of  our  afternoons,  at  least  tell 
us  something  which  we  shall  be  the  wiser  for  hearing."  "  With  all 
my  heart  and  soul,  sir,"  answered  he.  "  Would  you  have  me  go 
through  all  fabulous  histories  of  wandering  knights,  distressed  dam- 
sels, giants,  enchanted  castles,  and  the  whole  train  of  legendary  ad- 
ventures ?"  "  I  would  much  rather  hear  your  own  true  history," 
replied  I ;  "  but  that  is  a  pleasure  which  you  have  not  thought  lit  to 
give  me  so  long  as  we  have  lived  together,  and  I  seem  likely  to  go 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  653 

without  it  to  the  end  of  the  chapter."  "  How  happens  that  ?"  said 
he.  "  If  I  have  not  told  you  my  own  story,  it  is  because  you  never 
expressed  the  slightest  wish  to  be  troubled  with  the  recital ;  there- 
fore it  is  not  my  fault  if  you  are  in  the  dark  about  my  past  life;  but 
if  you  are  really  at  all  curious  to  be  let  into  the  secret,  my  loquacity 
is  very  much  at  your  service  on  the  occasion."  Antonia,  Beatrice, 
and  myself  unanimously  took  him  at  his  word,  and  arranged  our- 
selves for  listening  like  an  attentive  audience.  The  speculation  was 
a  safe  one  on  our  parts ;  for  the  tale  was  sure  to  answer,  either  as  a 
stimulant  or  a  soporific. 

"  I  certainly  ought  to  have  been  descended,"  said  Scipio,  "  from 
some  family  of  the  highest  rank  and  earliest  antiquity  ;  or,  in  default 
of  such  parentage,  from  the  most  distinguished  orders  of  personal 
merit,  such  as  that  of  St.  James  of  Alcantara,  if  a  man  may  be  per- 
mitted to  decide  on  the  fittest  circumstances  for  his  (mn  birth :  but 
as  it  is  not  among  the  privileges  of  human  nature  to  elect  one's  own 
father,  you  are  to  know  that  mine,  by  name  Torribio  Scipio,  was  a 
subaltern  myrmidon  of  the  Holy  Brotherhood.  As  he  was  going  back 
and  fore  on  the  king's  highway,  and  looking  after  business  in  his 
own  line,  he  met,  once  on  a  time,  between  Cuen<}a  and  Toledo,  with 
a  young  Bohemian  babe  of  chance,  who  appeared  very  pretty  in  his 
eyes.  She  was  alone,  on  foot,  and  carried  her  whole  patrimony  at 
her  back  in  a  kind  of  knapsack.  '  Whither  are  you  going,  my  little 
darling?'  said  he,  in  a  philandering  tone  of  voice,  unlike  the  natural 
hoarseness  of  his  accents.  '  Good  worthy  gentleman,'  answered  she, 
*  I  am  going  to  Toledo,  where  I  hope  to  gain  an  honest  livelihood  by 
hook  or  by  crook.'  '  Your  intentions  are  highly  commendable,'  re- 
torted he ;  *  and  I  doubt  not  but  you  have  many  a  hook  and  many  a 
crook  among  the  implements  of  your  trade.'  *  Yes,  with  a  blessing 
on  my  endeavors,'  rejoined  she:  'I  have  several  little  ways  of  doing 
for  myself:  I  know  how  to  make  washes  and  creams  for  the  ladies' 
faces,  perfumes  for  their  noses  and  their  chambers  ;  then  I  can  tell 
fortunes,  can  search  for  things  lost  with  a  sieve  and  shears,  and  erect 
figures  for  the  taking  in  of  shadows  with  a  glass.' 

"  Torribio,  concluding  that  so  well-provided  a  girl  would  be  a  very 
advantageous  match  for  a  man  like  himself,  who  could  scarcely 
scrape  wherewithal  to  support  life  by  his  own  profession,  though  he 
was  as  good  a  thief-taker  as  the  best  of  them,  made  her  an  offer  of 
marriage,  and  she  was  nothing  loath,  nor  prudishly  coy.  They  flew 
on  the  wings  of  inclination  and  convenience  to  Toledo,  where  they 
were  joined  together ;  and  you  behold  in  me  the  happy  pledge  of 
holy  and  lawful  matrimony.  They  fixed  themselves  in  a  shop  on 
the  outskirts  of  the  town,  where  my  mother  commenced  her  career 
by  selling  the  said  washes,  creams,  tapes,  laces,  silk,  thread,  toys. 


654  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  liLAS. 

and  peddler's  ware ;  but  trade  not  being  brisk  enough  to  live  com- 
fortably by  it,  she  turned  fortune-teller.  This  drew  her  customers, 
got  her  countenance,  credit,  crowns,  and  pistoles :  a  thousand  dupes 
of  either  sex  soon  trumpeted  up  the  reputation  of  Cosclina — for  so 
my  gypsy  mamma  had  the  honor  to  be  named.  Some  one  or  other 
came  every  day  to  bargain  for  the  exercise  of  her  skill  in  the  black 
art ;  at  one  time  a  nephew  at  his  wit's  and  purse's  end,  wanting  to 
know  how  soon  his  uncle  was  to  set  off  post  for  the  other  world,  and 
leave  behind  him  wherewithal  to  piece  his  worn-out  fortunes;  at 
another,  some  yielding,  lovesick  girl,  to  inquire  whether  the  swain 
who  kept  her  company,  and  had  promised  to  marry  her,  would  keep 
his  word  or  be  false-hearted. 

"  You  will  take  notice,  if  you  please,  that  my  mother  always  sold 
good  luck  for  good  money ;  if  the  accomplishment  trod  on  the  heels 
of  the  prediction,  well  and  good;  if  it  was  fulfilled  according  to  the 
rule  of  contraries,  she  was  always  cool,  though  the  parties  were  ever 
so  violently  in  a  passion,  and  told  them  plainly  that  it  was  her 
familiar's  fault,  not  hers,  for  though  she  paid  him  the  highest 
wages,  and  bound  him  by  potent  spells  to  stir  up  the  caldron  of 
of  futurity  from  the  bottom,  like  earthly  cooks,  he  would  some- 
times be  careless  or  out  of  humor,  and  apportion  the  ingredients 
wrongly. 

"  When  my  mother  thought  the  conjuncture  momentous  enough 
to  raise  the  devil  without  cheapening  him  in  the  eyes  of  the  vulgar, 
Torribio  Scipio  enacted  his  infernal  majesty,  and  played  the  part 
just  as  if  he  had  been  born  to  it,  humoring  the  hideous  features  of 
the  character  by  a  very  small  aggravation  of  his  own  natural  face, 
and  practicing  the  pandemonian  note  of  elocution  in  the  lower 
octave  of  hia  voice.  A  person  in  the  slightest  degree  superstitious 
would  be  scared  out  of  his  senses  at  my  father's  figure.  But  one 
day,  as  his  satanic  prototype  would  have  it,  there  came  a  savage 
rascal  of  a  captain,  who  asked  to  see  the  devil,  for  no  earthly  pur- 
pose but  to  run  him  clean  through  the  body.  The  Inquisition,  hav- 
ing received  notice  of  the  devil's  death,  sent  to  take  charge  of  his 
widow,  and  administered  to  his  effects ;  a3  for  poor  little  me,  ja«t 
seven  years  old  at  the  time,  I  was  sent  to  the  foundling  hospital. 
There  were  some  charitable  ecclesiastics  on  that  establishment,  who, 
being  liberally  paid  for  the  education  of  the  poor  orphans,  were  so 
zealous  in  their  ofiice  as  to  teach  them  reading  and  writing.  They 
fancied  there  was  something  particularly  promising  about  me,  which 
made  them  pick  me  out  from  all  the  rest,  and  send  me  on  their 
errands.  I  was  letter-carrier,  messenger,  and  chapel-clcrk.  As  a 
token  of  their  gratitude,  they  undertook  to  teach  me  Latin  ;  but 
their  mode  of  tuition  waa  so  harsh,  and  their  discipline  so  severe, 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  656 

though  I  was  a  sort  of  pet  with  them,  that,  not  being  able  to  stand 
it  longer,  I  ran  away  one  morning  while  out  on  an  errand,  and,  so 
far  from  returning  to  the  hospital,  got  out  of  Toledo  through  the 
suburbs  on  the  Seville  side. 

"  Though  I  had  not  then  completed  my  ninth  year,  I  already  felt 
the  pleasure  of  being  free,  and  master  of  my  own  actions.  I  was 
without  money  and  without  food.  No  matter !  I  had  no  lessons  to 
say  by  heart,  no  themes  to  hammer  out.  After  having  pushed  on 
for  two  hours,  my  little  legs  began  to  refuse  their  office.  I  had 
never  before  made  so  long  a  trip.  It  became  necessary  to  stop  and 
take  some  rest.  I  sat  myself  down  at  the  foot  of  a  tree  close  by  the 
highway ;  there,  by  way  of  amusement,  I  took  my  grammar  out  of 
my  pocket,  and  began  conning  it  over  by  way  of  a  joke ;  but  at 
length,  coming  to  recollect  the  raps  on  the  knuckles  and  the  casti- 
gations  on  the  more  classical  seat  of  punishment  which  it  had  cost 
me,  I  tore  it  leaf  by  leaf  with  an  apostrophe  of  angry  import.  *  Ah  I 
you  odious  thing  of  a  book !  you  shall  never  make  me  shed  tears 
any  more.'  While  I  was  assuaging  my  vindictive  spirit  by  strewing 
the  ground  about  me  with  declensions  and  conjugations,  there 
passed  that  way  a  hermit  with  a  white  beard,  with  a  large  pair  of 
spectacles  on  his  nose,  and  altogether  an  outside  of  much  sanctity. 
He  came  up  to  me,  and  if  I  was  an  object  of  speculation  to  him,  he 
was  no  less  so  to  me.  '  My  little  man,'  said  he,  with  a  smile,  '  it 
should  seem  as  if  we  had  both  taken  a  sudden  liking  to  each  other, 
and  in  that  case  we  cannot  do  better  than  to  live  together  in  my 
hermitage,  which  is  not  two  hundred  yards  distant.'  '  Your  most 
obedient  for  that,'  answered  I,  pertly  enough ;  '  I  have  not  the  least 
desire  to  turn  hermit.'  At  this  answer  the  good  old  man  set  up  a 
roar  of  laughter,  and  said,  with  a  kind  embrace,  '  You  must  not  be 
frightened  at  my  dress ;  if  it  is  not  becoming,  it  is  useful ;  it  gives 
me  my  title  to  a  charming  retreat,  and  to  the  good  will  of  the 
neighboring  villages,  whose  inhabitants  love,  or  rather  idolize  me. 
Come  this  way,  and  I  will  clothe  you  in  a  jacket  of  the  same  stuff 
as  mine.  If  you  think  well  of  it,  you  shall  share  with  me  the 
pleasures  of  the  life  I  lead ;  and  if  it  does  not  hit  your  fancy,  you 
shall  not  only  be  at  liberty  to  leave  me,  but  you  may  depend  on  it 
that  in  the  event  of  our  parting,  I  shall  not  fail  to  do  something 
handsome  by  you.' 

"  I  suffered  myself  to  be  persuaded,  and  followed  the  old  hermit, 
who  put  several  questions  to  me,  which  I  answered  with  a  truth- 
telling  simplicity  not  always  to  be  found  in  a  more  advanced  stage 
of  morality.  On  our  arrival  at  the  hermitage,  he  set  some  fruit 
before  me,  which  I  devoured,  having  eaten  notliing  all  day  but  a 
slice  of  dry  bread,  on  which  I  had  breakfasted  at  the  hospital  in  the 


556  ABVENTVRES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

morning.  The  recluse,  seeing  me  play  so  good  a  part  with  my  jaws, 
said,  *  Courage,  my  good  boy !  do  not  spare  my  fruit ;  there  is  plenty 
of  it,  Heaven  be  praised  I  I  have  not  brought  you  hither  to  starve 
you.'  And  indeed  that  was  true  enough,  for  an  hour  after  our 
coming  in,  he  kindled  a  fire,  put  a  leg  of  mutton  down  to  roast,  and, 
while  I  turned  the  spit,  laid  a  small  table  for  himself  and  me,  with 
a  very  dirty  napkin  upon  it. 

"  When  the  meat  was  done  enough,  he  took  it  up,  and  cut  some 
slices  for  our  supper,  which  was  no  dry  bargain,  since  we  quaffed  a 
delicious  wine,  of  which  he  had  laid  in  ample  store.  '  Well,  my 
chicken,'  said  he,  as  he  rose  from  the  table,  '  are  you  satisfied  with 
my  style  of  living  ?  You  see  how  we  shall  fare  every  day,  if  you  fix 
your  quarters  here.  Then,  with  respect  to  liberty,  you  shall  do  just 
as  you  please  in  this  hermitage.  All  I  require  of  you  is  to  accom- 
pany me  whenever  I  go  begging  to  the  neighboring  villages ;  you 
will  be  of  use  in  driving  an  ass  laden  with  two  panniers,  which  the 
charitable  peasants  usually  fill  with  eggs,  bread,  meat,  and  fish.  I 
ask  no  more  than  that,'  *  I  will  do,'  said  I,  '  whatever  you  desire, 
provided  you  will  not  oblige  me  to  learn  Latin.'  Friar  Chrysos- 
tom — for  that  was  the  old  hermit's  name — could  not  help  smiling  at 
my  schoolboy  frowardness,  and  assured  me  once  more  that  he 
should  not  pretend  to  interfere  either  with  my  studies  or  my  inclin- 
ations. 

"  On  the  very  next  day  we  went  on  a  foraging  party  with  the  don- 
key, which  I  led  Tby  the  halter.  We  made  a  profitable  gleaning ; 
for  all  the  farmers  took  a  pleasure  in  throwing  somewhat  into  our 
panniers.  One  chucked  in  an  uncut  loaf,  another  a  large  piece  of 
bacon ;  here  a  goose,  there  a  pair  of  giblets,  and  a  partridge  to 
crown  the  whole.  But  without  entering  further  into  particulars,  we 
carried  home  provender  enough  for  a  week ;  and  hence  you  may 
infer  the  esteem  and  friendship  in  which  the  country  people  held 
the  holy  man.  It  is  true  that  he  was  a  great  blessing  to  the  neigh- 
borhood :  his  advice  was  always  at  their  service  when  they  came  to 
consult  him :  he  restored  peace  where  discord  had  reigned  in  fam- 
ilies, and  made  up  matches  for  the  daughters ;  he  had  a  nostrum 
for  almost  any  disease  you  could  mention,  with  an  assortment  of 
pious  rituals  to  avert  the  curse  of  barrenness. 

"  Hence  you  perceive  that  I  was  in  no  danger  of  starving  in  my 
hermitage.  My  lodging,  too,  was  none  of  the  worst ;  stretched  on 
good  fresh  straw,  with  a  cushion  of  ratteen  under  my  head,  and  a 
coverlet  over  me  of  the  same  stuff,  I  made  but  one  nap  of  it  all 
night.  Brother  Chrysostom,  who  had  promised  me  a  hermit's 
dress,  made  up  an  old  gown  of  his  own  for  me,  and  called  me  little 
brother  Scipio.    No  sooner  did  I  appear  in  my  religious  uniform 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  ^  557 

than  the  ass's  back  suffered  for  my  genteel  appearance  in  the  eyes 
of  the  villagers.  It  was  who  should  give  most  to  the  little  brother ! 
so  much  were  they  delighted  with  his  spruce  figure. 

"  The  easy,  slothful  life  I  led  with  the  old  hermit  could  not  be 
very  revolting  to  a  boy  of  my  age.  On  the  contrary,  it  suited  my 
taste  so  exactly,  that  I  should  have  continued  it  to  this  time,  but 
that  the  fates  and  destinies  were  weaving  a  more  complicated  tissue 
for  my  future  years.  It  was  cast  in  the  figure  of  my  nativity, 
early  to  rouse  myself  from  the  effeminacy  of  a  religious  life,  and  to 
take  leave  of  brother  Chrysostom  after  the  following  manner. 

"  I  often  observed  the  old  man  at  work  upon  his  pillow,  unsewing 
and  sewing  it  up  again  ;  and  one  day,  I  saw  him  put  in  some  money. 
This  circumstance  excited  a  tingling  curiosity,  which  I  promised 
myself  to  satisfy  the  first  time  he  went  to  Toledo,  as  he  generally 
did  once  a  week.  I  waited  impatiently  for  the  day,  but  as  yet, 
without  any  other  motive  than  the  mere  desire  of  prying.  At  last 
the  good  man  went  his  way,  and  I  unpicked  his  pillow,  where  I 
found,  among  the  stuffing,  the  amount  of  about  fifty  crowns  in  all 
sorts  of  coin. 

"  This  treasure  must  have  accumulated  from  the  gratitude  of  the 
peasantry,  whom  the  hermit  had  cured  by  his  nostrums,  and  of  their 
wives,  who  had  become  pregnant  by  virtue  of  his  spiritual  inter- 
ference. But  however  it  got  there,  I  no  sooner  set  my  eyes  on  the 
money,  which  might  be  mine  without  any  one  near  me  to  say  nay, 
than  the  gypsy  voice  of  nature  and  pedigree  spoke  within  me.  An 
inextinguishable  itch  of  pilfering  tingled  in  my  veins,  and  proved 
that  we  come  into  the  world  with  the  mark  of  our  descent,  and  with 
our  characters  about  us.  I  yielded  to  the  temptatiori  without  a 
struggle,  tied  up  my  booty  in  a  canvas  bag  where  we  kept  our 
combs  and  night-caps;  then,  having  laid  aside  the  hermit's  and 
resumed  my  foundling's  dress,  got  clear  off  from  the  hermitage,  and 
hugged  my  bag  as  though  it  had  contained  the  boundless  treasure 
of  the  Indies. 

"  You  have  heard  my  first  exploit,"  continued  Scipio,  "and  I  doubt 
not  but  you  will  expect  a  succession  of  similar  practices.  Your  an- 
ticipations will  not  be  disappointed ;  for  there  are  many  such 
evidences  of  genius  behind,  before  I  come  to  those  of  my  actions 
which  prove  me  good  as  well  as  clever ;  but  I  shall  come  to  them, 
and  you  will  be  convinced  by  the  sequel,  that  a  scoundrel  bom 
may  be  licked  into  virtue,  as  the  cub  of  a  bear  into  shape. 

"  Child  as  I  was,  I  knew  better  than  to  take  the  Toledo  road  ;  it 
would  have  been  exposing  myself  to  the  hazard  of  meeting  friar 
Chrysostom,  who  would  have  balanced  accounts  with  me  on  a  very 
thriftless  principle.    I  therefore  travelled  in  another  direction,  lead- 


558  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

ing  to  the  village  of  Galves,  where  I  stopped  at  an  inn  kept  by  a 
landlady  who  was  a  widow  of  forty,  and  hung  out  the  bunch  of 
grapes  to  a  very  good  purpose.  This  good  woman  no  sooner  saw 
me,  than,  judging  by  my  dress  that  I  must  be  a  truant  from  the 
orphan  school,  she  asked  who  I  was  and  whither  I  was  going.  I 
answered  that,  having  lost  ray  father  and  mother,  I  was  looking  for 
a  place.  '  Can  you  read,  my  dear  ?'  said  she.  I  assured  her  that  I 
could  read,  and  write,  too,  with  the  best  of  them.  In  point  of  fact, 
I  could  just  form  my  letters,  and  join  them  so  as  to  look  a  little 
like  writing ;  and  that  was  clerkship  enough  for  a  village  pothouse. 
*  Then  I  will  take  you  into  my  service,'  replied  the  hostess.  *  You 
may  earn  your  board  easily  enough  by  scoring  up  the  customers  and 
keeping  my  ledger.  I  shall  give  you  no  wages,  because  this  inn  is 
frequented  by  very  genteel  company,  who  never  forget  the  waiters. 
You  may  reckon  upon  very  considerable  perquisites.' 

"  I  clinched  the  bargain,  reserving  to  myself,  as  you  may  suppose, 
the  right  of  emigration  whenever  my  abode  at  Galves  should  cease 
to  be  pleasant.  No  sooner  was  I  settled  in  my  place,  than  a  weight 
lay  heavy  on  my  mind.  I  did  not  wish  it  to  be  known  that  I  had 
money ;  and  it  was  no  easy  matter  to  devise  where  it  could  be  hid- 
den, so  as  that  what  was  sauce  for  the  goose  should  not  be  sauce  for 
the  gander.  I  was  not  yet  well  enough  acquainted  with  the  house 
to  trust  the  places  obviously  most  proper  for  such  a  deposit.  What 
a  source  of  embarrassment  is  great  wealth  I  I  determined,  however, 
on  a  corner  of  our  granary  under  some  straw ;  and,  believing  it  to 
be  safer  there  than  anywhere  else,  made  myself  as  easy  about  it  as  I 
well  could. 

"  The  household  consisted  of  three  servants — a  lubberly  hostler, 
a  young  Galician  chambermaid,  and  myself.  Each  of  us  sponged 
what  we  could  upon  travellers,  whether  on  foot  or  on  horseback.  I 
always  came  in  for  some  small  change,  when  the  bill  was  paid. 
Then  the  equestrians  gave  something  to  the  hostler,  for  taking  care 
of  their  beasts ;  but  as  for  our  female  fellow-servant,  the  muleteers 
who  passed  that  way  chucked  her  under  the  chin,  and  gave  her 
more  crowns  than  we  got  farthings.  I  had  no  sooner  realized  a 
penny,  than  away  it  went  to  the  granary,  and  slept  with  its  pre- 
cursors ;  so  that  the  higher  rose  my  heap,  the  more  greedy  did  my 
little  heart  become.  Sometimes  would  I  kiss  the  hallowed  images 
of  my  idolatry,  and  look  at  them  with  a  devotional  glow  which  few 
worshippers  feel  but  those  whose  religion  is  their  gold. 

"  This  inordinate  passion  sent  me  back  and  fore  to  gratify  it  at 
least  thirty  times  a  day.  I  often  met  the  landlady  on  the  staircase. 
She,  being  naturally  of  a  suspicious  temper,  had  a  mind  to  find  out 
one  day  what  could  carry  me  every  minute  to  the  corn  loft.    She 


ADVENTUBES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  659 

therefore  went  up,  and  began  rummaging  about  everywhere,  sup- 
posing perhaps  that  it  was  my  receptacle  for  articles  purloined  in 
the  house.  Of  course  she  did  not  forget  to  pull  the  straw  about ; 
and  behold,  there  was  my  bag  I  Two  hands  in  a  dish  and  one  in  a 
purse,  was  not  one  of  her  proverbs ;  so  that,  finding  the  contents  in 
crowns  and  pistoles,  she  thought,  or  seemed  to  think,  that  the  money 
was  lawfully  and  honestly  hers.  At  least  she  had  possession,  and 
that  is  nine  points  of  the  law,  though  scarcely  one  of  honesty.  But 
to  do  the  thing  decently,  after  calling  me  little  wretch,  little  rascal, 
and  so  forth,  she  ordered  the  hostler,  a  fellow  without  any  will  but 
hers,  to  give  me  a  hearty  flogging ;  and  then  turned  me  out  of  doors, 
with  this  salt  eel  for  my  breakfast,  and  a  lady-like  oath  that  no 
light-fingered  gentry  should  ever  darken  her  doors.  In  vain  did  I 
protest  and  vow  that  I  had  never  wronged  my  mistress :  she  aflBrmed 
the  direct  contrary,  and  her  word  would  go  further  than  mine  at 
any  time.  Thus  were  friar  Chrysostom's  savings  transferred  from 
one  thief  to  a  greater  thief  in  the  thief-taker. 

"I  wept  over  the  loss  of  my  money  as  a  father  over  the  death  of 
his  only  son ;  and  though  my  tears  could  not  bring  back  what  I 
had  lost,  they  at  least  answered  the  purpose  of  exciting  pity  in  some 
people,  who  saw  how  bitterly  they  flowed,  and  among  others  in  the 
parson,  who  was  accidentally  going  by.  He  seemed  affiected  by  my 
sad  plight,  and  took  me  home  with  him.  There,  to  gain  my  confi- 
dence, or  rather  to  pump  me,  he  began  soothing  my  sorrows.  '  How 
much  this  poor  child  is  to  be  pitied !'  said  he.  '  Is  it  any  wonder  if, 
thrown  upon  the  wide  world  at  so  tender  an  age,  he  has  committed 
a  bad  action  ?  Grown  up  men  are  not  always  proof  against  the  flesh 
or  the  devil.'  Then,  addressing  me, '  Child,  from  what  part  of  Spain 
do  you  come,  and  who  are  your  parents  ?  You  have  the  look  of 
family  about  you.  Open  your  heart  to  me  confidentially,  and  de- 
pend upon  it,  I  never  will  desert  you.' 

"  His  reverence,  by  this  kind  and  insinuating  language,  engaged 
me  by  degrees  to  tell  him  all  my  history,  without  falsification  or 
reserve.  I  owned  everything ;  and  thus  he  moralized  on  the  leading 
article  of  my  confession :  '  My  little  friend,  though  hermits  ought 
to  lay  up  such  treasures  as  neither  force  nor  fraud  can  wrest  from 
them,  that  was  no  excuse  for  your  taking  the  measure  of  punish- 
ment into  your  own  hands :  by  robbing  brother  Chrysostom,  you 
nevertheless  sinned  against  that  article  of  the  decalogue  which  tells 
you  not  to  steal ;  but  I  will  engage  to  make  the  hostess  return  the 
money,  and  will  punctually  remit  it  to  the  reverend  friar  at  his 
hermitage :  you  may  therefore  make  your  conscience  perfectly  easy 
on  that  score.'  Now,  between  ourselves,  my  conscience  was  per- 
fectly callous  to  everything  like  compunction  with  respect  to  the 


560  AD  VEXTUHES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

crime  in  question.  The  parson,  who  had  his  own  ends  to  answer, 
had  not  done  with  me  yet.  *  My  lad,'  pursued  he,  '  I  mean  to  take 
you  by  the  hand,  and  find  a  good  berth  for  you.  I  shall  send  you 
to-morrow  morning,  by  the  carrier,  to  my  nephew,  a  canon  of 
Toledo.  He  will  not  refuse,  at  my  request,  to  admit  you  upon  his 
establishment,  where  they  live  like  so  many  sons  of  the  church, 
rosily,  merrily,  and  fatly,  upon  the  rents  of  his  prebendal  stall :  you 
will  be  perfectly  comfortable  there,  take  my  word  for  it.' 

"  Patronage  li|:e  this  gave  me  so  much  encouragement  that  I  did 
not  throw  away  another  thought  either  upon  my  bag  or  my  whip- 
ping. My  mind  was  wholly  occupied  with  the  idea  of  living  rosily, 
merrily,  and  fatly,  like  a  son  of  the  church.  The  following  day,  at 
breakfast  time,  there  came,  according  to  orders,  a  muleteer  to  the 
parsonage,  with  two  mules  saddled  and  bridled.  They  helped  me 
to  mount  one,  the  muleteer  flung  his  leg  over  the  other,  and  we 
trotted  for  Toledo.  My  fellow-traveller  was  a  good,  pleasant  com- 
panion, and  desired  nothing  better  than  to  indulge  his  humor  at 
the  expense  of  his  neighbor.  'My  little  volunteer,'  said  he,  'you 
Jiave  a  good  friend  in  his  reverence,  the  minister  of  Galves.  He 
could  not  give  you  a  better  proof  of  his  kindness  than  by  placing 
you  with  his  nephew  the  canon,  whom  I  have  the  honor  of  knowing, 
far  beyond  all  question  of  comparison,  to  be  the  cock  of  the  chapter  ; 
and  a  hearty  one  he  is.  None  of  your  lantern-jawed  saints,  with 
Lent  in  his  face,  a  cat-of-nine-tails  on  his  back,  and  a  cholera 
morbus  in  his  belly.  No  such  thing !  Our  doctor  is  rubicund  in 
the  jowl,  efflorescent  on  the  nose,  with  a  wicked  eye  at  a  bumper  or 
a  girl ;  militant  against  no  earthly  pleasure,  but  most  addicted  to 
the  good  things  of  the  table.  You  will  be  as  snug  there  as  a  bug  in 
a  blanket.' 

"This  hangman  of  a  muleteer,  perceiving  with  what  exquisite 
satisfaction  I  took  in  all  this,  went  on  tantalizing  me  with  the  joys 
of  an  ecclesiastical  life.  He  never  dropped  the  subject. till  we  got 
to  the  village  of  Obisa,  and  stopped  there  to  refresh  our  mules. 
Then,  while  bustling  about  the  inn,  he  accidentally  dropped  a  paper 
from  his  pocket,  which  I  was  cunning  enough  to  pick  up  without 
his  seeing  me,  and  took  an  opportunity  of  reading  while  he  was  in 
the  stable.  It  was  a  letter  addressed  to  the  governors  and  superin- 
tendents of  the  orphan  school,  conceived  in  these  terms : — 

"  '  Gentlemen  :  I  consider  it  as  an  act  at  once  of  charity  and  of 
duty  to  send  you  back  a  little  truant ;  he  seems  a  shrewd  lad 
enough,  and  may  do  very  well  with  good  looking  after.  By  dint  of 
hard  and  frequent  chastisement,  I  doubt  not  but  you  will  ultimately 
bring  him  to  a  sense  of  his  own  unworthiness  and  your  benevolence* 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  661 

May  a  blessing  be  vouchsafed  on  your  pious  and  charitable  labors 
for  the  early  extirpation  of  sin  and  wickedness. 

'The  Minister  of  Galves.' 

"  When  I  had  finished  reading  this  pleasant  letter,  which  let  me 
into  the  good  intentions  of  his  reverence  the  rector,  it  required  little 
deliberation  to  determine  what  I  was  to  do ;  from  the  inn  to  the 
banks  of  the  Tagus,  a  space  of  three  good  miles,  was  but  a  hop, 
step,  and  jump.  Fear  lent  me  wings  to  escape  from  the  governors 
of  the  foundling  hospital,  whither  1  was  absolutely  resolved  never  to 
return,  having  formed  principles  of  taste  diametrically  opposite  to 
their  method  of  teaching  the  classics.  I  went  into  Toledo  with  as 
light  a  heart  as  if  I  had  known  where  to  get  my  daily  bread.  To  be 
sure,  it  is  a  town  of  ways  and  means,  where  a  man  who  can  live  by 
his  wits  need  never  die  of  hunger.  Scarcely  had  I  reached  the  high 
street  when  a  w-ell-dressed  gentleman,  by  whom  I  brushed,  caught 
me  by  the  arm,  saying,  '  My  little  fellow,  do  you  want  a  place  ?  You 
are  just  such  a  smart  lad  as  I  was  looking  for.'  '  And  you  are  just 
the  master  for  my  money,'  answered  I.  'Since  that  is  the  case,' 
rejoined  he,  'you  are  mine  from  this  moment,  and  have  only  to  fol- 
low me,'  which  I  did  without  asking  any  more  questions. 

"  This  spark,  about  the  age  of  thirty,  and  bearing  the  name  of 
Don  Abel,  lodged  in  very  handsome  ready-furnished  apartments. 
He  was  by  profession  a  blackleg,  and  the  following  was  the  nature 
of  our  engagement.  In  the  morning  I  got  him  as  much  tobacco  a« 
would  fill  five  or  six  pipes  ;  brushed  his  clothes,  and  ran  for  a  bar- 
ber to  shave  him  and  trim  his  whiskers  ;  after  which  he  made  the 
circle  of  the  tennis-courts,  whence  he  never  returned  home  till 
eleven  or  twelve  at  night.  But  every  morning,  at  going  out,  he 
gave  me  three  reals  for  the  expenses  of  the  day,  leaving  me  master 
of  my  own  time  till  ten  o'clock  in  the  evening,  and  provided  I  was 
within  doors  by  his  return,  all  was  well.  He  gave  me  a  livery  be- 
sides, in  which  I  looked  like  a  little  lackey  of  illicit  love.  I  took 
very  kindly  to  my  condition,  and  certainly  could  not  have  met  with 
any  more  congenial  with  my  temper. 

"  Such  and  so  happy  had  been  my  way  of  life  for  nearly  a  month, 
when  my  employer  inquired  whether  I  liked  his  ser\'ice,  and  on  my 
answering  in  the  aflBrmative,  '  Well,  then,'  resumed  he,  '  to-morrow 
we  shall  set  out  for  Seville,  whither  my  concerns  call  me.  You  will 
not  be  sorry  to  see  the  capital  of  Andalusia.  "  He  that  hath  not 
Seville  seen,"  says  the  proverb,  "  Is  no  traveller,  I  ween." '  I  engaged 
at  once  to  follow  him  all  over  the  world.  On  that  very  day,  the 
Seville  carrier  fetched  away  a  large  trunk  with  my  master's  ward- 
robe, and  on  the  next  morning  we  were  on  the  road  for  Andalusia. 
36 


562  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

"  Signor  Don  Abel  was  so  lucky  at  play  that  he  never  lost  but 
when  it  was  convenient;  but  then  it  was  seldom  convenient  to  stay 
long  in  a  place,  because  those  who  are  losers  always  find  out  at  last 
that  though  chance  is  a  dangerous  antagonist,  certainly  it  is  a  des- 
perate one,  and  that  accounted  for  our  journey.  On  our  arrival  at 
Seville,  we  took  lodgings  near  the  Cordova  gate,  and  resumed  the 
same  mode  of  life  as  at  Toledo.  But  my  master  found  some  diflfer- 
ence  between  the  two  towns.  The  Seville  tennis-courts  could  pro- 
duce players  equally  in  fortune's  good  graces  with  himself,  so  that 
he  sometimes  came  home  a  good  deal  out  of  humor.  One  morning,  j 
when  he  was  biting  the  bridle  for  the  loss  of  a  hundred  pistoles  the  I 
day  before,  he  asked  why  I  had  not  carried  his  linen  to  the  laun- 
dress. I  pleaded  forgetfulness.  Thereupon,  flying  into  a  passion, 
he  gave  me  half  a  dozen  boxes  on  the  ear,  in  such  a  style  as  to  kindle 
an  illumination  in  my  blinking  eyes  to  which  the  glories  of  Solo- 
mon's temple  were  no  more  to  be  compared  than  the  torches  in  a 
Candlemas  procession  to  a  rushlight.  '  There  is  for  you,  you  little 
scoundrel !'  said  he ;  '  take  that,  and  learn  to  mind  your  business. 
Must  I  be  eternally  at  your  heels  to  remind  you  of  what  you  are  to 
do?  Are  your  brains  in  your  belly,  and  all  your  wits  in  your 
grinders  ?  You  are  not  a  downright  idiot.  Then  why  not  prevent 
my  wants  and  anticipate  my  orders  ?'  After  this  experimental  lec- 
ture, he  went  out  for  the  day,  leaving  me  in  high  dudgeon  at  a 
reprimand  so  much  in  the  manner  of  my  friend  the  hostler,  for  such 
a  trifle  as  not  getting  up  his  things  for  the  wash. 

"  I  could  never  learn  what  happened  to  him  a  short  time  after  at 
a  tennis-court,  but  one  evening  he  came  home  in  a  terrible  heat. 
'Scipio,'  said  he,  '  I  am  bent  on  going  to  Italy,  and  must  embark  the 
day  after  to-morrow  on  board  a  vessel  bound  for  Genoa.  I  have  my 
reasons  for  making  this  little  excursion  ;  of  course  you  will  be  glad 
to  attend  me,  and  to  profit  by  so  fine  an  opportunity  of  seeing  the 
loveliest  country  on  the  face  of  the  earth.'  My  tongue  gave  con- 
sent, but  with  a  salvo  in  my  heart,  and  a  bargain  with  my  revenge, 
to  give  him  the  slip  just  at  the  moment  of  embarkation.  This  was 
80  delightful  a  scheme,  that  I  could  not  help  imparting  it  to  a  bully 
by  profession,  whom  I  met  in  the  street.  During  my  abode  in 
Seville,  I  had  picked  up  some  awkward  acquaintance,  and  this  was 
one  of  the  most  ungainly.  I  told  him  how  and  why  my  ears  had 
been  boxed,  and  then  communicated  my  project  of  running  away 
from  Don  Abel  just  before  the  ship  was  to  sail,  begging  to  know 
what  he  thought  of  the  plan. 

"  My  blufi"  adviser  puckered  his  eyebrows  while  he  listened,  and 
fiddled  with  his  fingers  about  his  whiskers ;  then,  blaming  my  mas- 
ter very  seriously,  '  My  little  hero,'  said  he,  '  you  are  eternally  dis- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  663 

graced,  and  can  never  show  your  face  again,  if  you  sit  down  quietly 
with  so  paltry  a  satisfaction  as  what  you  propose.  To  let  Don  Abel 
go  off  by  himself  would  be  a  poor  revenge  for  wrongs  like  yours  ; 
the  punishment  should  be  proportioned  to  his  crime.  Let  us  fine 
him  to  the  full  amount  of  his  purse  and  effects,  which  we  will  share 
like  brothers  after  he  is  gone.'  Now,  it  is  to  be  noted  that  though 
thieving  fell  in  very  naturally  with  the  bent  of  my  genius,  the  pro- 
posal rather  startled  me,  as  the  robbery  was  upon  a  large  scale  for 
so  young  an  apprentice. 

"  And  yet  the  arch  deceiver  of  my  innocence  found  the  means  of 
working  me  up  to  the  perpetration,  so  that  the  result  of  our  enter- 
prise was  as  follows :  This  glorious  ruffian,  a  tall,  brawny  fellow, 
came  in  the  evening  about  twilight  to  our  lodging.  I  showed  my 
master's  travelling  trunk  ready  packed,  and  asked  him  wbether  he 
could  carry  so  heavy  a  load  upon  his  shoulders.  '  So  heavy  as  that,' 
said  he :  '  show  me  where  a  transfer  of  property  is  to  be  made  in  my 
favor,  and  I  could  run  with  Noah's  ark  to  the  top  of  Mount  Ararat.' 
To  prove  his  words,  he  felt  the  trunk,  flung  it  carelessly  over  his 
back,  and  scampered  downstairs.  I  followed  nimbly;  and  we  had 
just  got  to  the  street  door,  when  Don  Abel,  brought  home  in  the  nick 
of  time  by  the  ascendency  of  his  lucky  stars,  stood  like  an  apparition, 
to  appall  our  guilty  souls. 

"  '  Whither  are  you  going  with  that  trunk  ?'  said  he.  I  was  so 
taken  by  surprise,  that  my  assurance  failed  me ;  and  broad-shoulders, 
finding  that  he  had  drawn  a  blank  in  the  lottery,  threw  down  his 
booty,  and  took  to  his  heels,  rather  than  be  troubled  for  an  explana- 
tion. '  Once  more,  whither  are  you  going  with  that  trunk  ?'  said 
my  master.  '  Sir,'  answered  I,  with  all  the  honest  simplicity  of  a 
criminal  pleading  in  arrest  of  judgment,  '  I  was  going  to  put  it  on 
board  the  vessel,  that  we  might  have  the  less  to  do  to-morrow  before 
we  embark  ourselves.'  '  Indeed !  Then  you  know,'  retorted  he,  *  in 
what  ship  1  have  taken  my  passage?'  *  No,  sir,'  replied  I ;  '  but 
those  who  can  talk  Latin  may  always  find  their  way  to  Rome:  I 
should  have  inquired  at  the  port,  and  somebody  would  have  informed 
me.'  At  this  explanation,  which  left  his  opinion  where  it  found  it, 
he  darted  a  furious  glance  at  me.  I  thought,  for  all  the  world,  he 
was  going  to  cuff  me  again  about  the  head.  '  Who  ordered  you,* 
cried  he,  '  to  take  my  trunk  out  of  this  house  ?'  '  You,  your  own 
self,'  said  L  *  Can  you  possibly  have  forgotten  how  you  rated  me 
but  a  few  days  ago?  Did  not  you  tell  me,  with  a  flea  in  my  ear, 
that  you  would  have  me  prevent  your  wants,  and  do  beforehand 
from  my  own  head  whatever  your  service  might  require?  Now,  not 
to  be  thrashed  a  second  time  for  want  of  forethought,  I  was  seeing 
your  trunk  safe  and  soon  enough  on  board.'    On  this  the  gamester, 


564  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  EL  AS. 

finding  that  I  had  cut  my  teeth  of  wisdom  sooner  than  suited  his 
purpose,  turned  me  oif  very  coolly,  saying,  '  Go  about  your  business, 
Master  Scipio,  and  speed  as  you  may  deserve.  I  do  not  like  to  play 
with  folks  who  are  in  the  habit  of  revoking.  Get  out  of  my  sight,  or 
I  shall  set  your  solfeggio  in  a  crying  key.' 

"  I  spared  him  the  trouble  of  twice  telling  me  to  go.  Off  I  shot 
like  an  arrow,  for  fear  he  should  unfledge  me  by  taking  away  my 
livery.  When  distant  enough  to  slacken  my  pace,  I  walked  along  the 
streets,  musing  whither  I  might  betake  myself  for  a  night's  lodging, 
with  only  two  reals  in  my  pocket.  The  gate  at  the  archbishop's 
palace  at  length  stared  me  in  the  face ;  and,  as  his  grace's  supper 
was  then  dressing,  a  savory  odor  exhaled  from  the  kitchens,  impreg- 
nating the  gale  with  soup  and  sauce  for  a  mile  round.  '  Ods  hari- 
cots and  cutlets  I'  thought  I ;  *  it  would  be  no  hard  matter  for  me  to 
dispense  with  one  of  those  little  side  dishes,  which  will  be  of  no  use 
to  the  archbishop  but  to  make  out  the  figure  of  his  table :  nay,  I 
would  be  contented  only  just  to  dip  in  my  four  fingers  and  thumb, 
and  then  to  sup  like  a  bear  upon  suckings.  But  how  to  accomplish 
it !  Is  there  no  way  of  bringing  these  choice  morsels  to  a  better  test 
than  that  of  smell?  And  why  not?  Hunger,  they  say,  will  break 
through  stone  walls.'  On  this  idea  did  I  set  my  wits  to  work ;  and 
by  dint  of  conning  over  the  subject,  a  stratagem  struck  me  which  set 
my  lungs  as  well  as  appetite  in  motion,  just  as  the  old  carpenter  kept 
bawling,  *  I  have  found  it,'  like  a  madman,  when  he  had  hit  the  right 
nail  of  his  proposition  on  the  head.  I  ran  into  the  court  of  the  palace, 
and  made  the  best  of  my  way  to  the  kitchens,  calling  out  with  all  my 
might,  'Help!  help  !'  as  if  some  assassin  had  been  at  my  heels. 

"At  my  reiterated  cries.  Master  Diego,  the  archbishop's  cook,  ran 
with  three  or  four  kitchen  drudges  to  learn  what  was  the  matter; 
and  seeing  only  me,  asked  why  I  roared  so  loud.  '  Ah,  good  sir,' 
answered  I,  with  every  token  of  exquisite  distress, '  for  mercy's  sake 
and  for  St.  Polycarp's,  save  me,  I  beseech  you,  from  the  fury  of  a 
blusterer,  who  swears  he  will  kill  me.'  *  But  where  is  this  disturber 
of  the  public  peace?' cried  Diego.  'You  have  no  one  to  quarrel 
with  but  yourself;  for  I  do  not  see  so  much  as  a  cat  to  spit  at  you. 
Go  your  ways,  my  little  man,  and  do  not  be  afraid  ;  it  is  evidently 
some  wag  who  has  been  playing  upon  your  cowardice  for  his  diver- 
sipn :  but  he  knew  better  than  to  follow  you  within  these  walls,  for 
we  would  have  cut  his  ears  off  at  the  least.'  *  No,  no,'  said  I,  '  it 
was  for  no  laughing  matter  that  he  ran  after  me.  He  is  a  noted  foot- 
pad, and  meant  to  rob  me ;  I  am  certain  that  he  is  now  waiting  for 
me  at  the  corner  of  the  street.'  '  Then  he  may  wait  long  enough,' 
replied  the  knight  of  the  iron  spit;  '  for  you  shall  stay  here  till  to- 
morrow.   You  shall  sup  with  us,  and  we  will  give  you  a  bed.' 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  665 

"  I  was  out  of  my  little  wits  with  joy  at  the  mention  of  these  last 
tidings ;  and  it  was  like  the  turnpike  road  to  paradise  after  crossing 
an  Arabian  desert,  when,  being  led  by  Master  Diego  through  the 
kitchens,  I  there  saw  my  lord  archbishop's  supper,  and  the  stew- 
pans  in  the  last  throes  of  parturition.  There  were  fifteen  account- 
able souls — for  I  reckoned  them  up — in  attendance  on  the  labor; 
but  the  litter  of  dishes  far  outnumbered  the  fecundity  of  Nature  in 
her  most  prolific  mood :  so  much  more  gracious  and  bountiful  is 
Providence  to  the  heads  of  the  church  in  the  indulgence  of  their 
appetites  than  mindful  of  the  worthless  brute  creation  in  the  propa- 
gation of  its  kind.  Here  it  was,  at  the  fountain  head  of  prelacy, 
inhaling  an'  atmosphere  of  gravy,  instead  of  just  snuffing  the  scent 
as  it  lay  upon  the  breeze,  that  I  first  shook  hands  with  sensuality.  I 
had  the  honor  of  supping  with  the  scullions,  and  of  sleeping  in  their 
room — an  initiation  of  friendship  so  sincere  and  strong,  that  on  the 
following  day,  when  I  went  to  thank  Master  Diego  for  his  goodness 
in  vouchsafing  me  a  refuge,  he  said,  'Our  kitchen  lads  have  been 
with  me  in  a  body,  to  declare  how  excessively  delighted  they  are 
with  your  manners,  and  to  propose  having  you  among  them  as  a 
fellow-servant.  How  should  you,  on  your  part,  like  to  make  one  of 
the  society?'  I  answered  that  with  such  a  feather  in  my  cap,  I 
should  be  the  vainest  and  the  happiest  of  mortals.  '  Then  so  be  it, 
my  friend,'  replied  he  ;  '  consider  yourself  henceforth  as  a  buttress 
of  the  hierarchy.'  With  this  invitation,  he  introduced  me  to  the 
major-domo,  who  thought  he  saw  talent  enough  in  me  for  a 
turnspit. 

"  JTo  sooner  was  I  in  possession  of  so  honorable  an  office  than 
Master  Diego,  following  the  practice  of  cooks  in  great  houses,  who 
pamper  up  their  pretty  dears  in  private  with  all  sorts  of  good  things, 
selected  me  to  supply  a  lady  in  the  neighborhood  with  a  regular 
table  of  butcher's  meat,  poultry,  and  game.  This  good  friend  of 
his  was  a  widow  on  the  right  side  of  thirty,  very  pretty,  very  lively, 
and  to  all  appearance  contenting  herself  with  cupboard  love  for  her 
cook.  His  generous  passion  was  not  confined  to  furnishing  her 
with  bread,  meat,  and  garnish ;  she  drank  her  wine  too,  and  the 
archbishop  was  her  wine-merchant. 

"  The  improvement  of  my  parts  kept  pace  with  that  of  my  carnal 
condition  in  his  grace's  palace,  where  I  gave  a  specimen  of  rising 
genius  still  ringing  on  the  trump  of  fame  at  Seville.  The  pages 
and  some  others  of  the  household  had  a  mind  to  get  up  a  play  on 
my  lord  archbishop's  birthday.  They  chose  a  popular  Spanish 
tragedy,  and  wanting  a  boy  about  my  age  to  personate  the  young 
King  of  Leon,  cast  me  for  the  part.  The  major-domo,  a  great 
spouter,  undertook  to  train  me  for  the  stage,  and,  after  a  few  lessons, 


6G6  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

pronounced  that  I  should  not  be  the  worst  actor  of  the  company. 
His  grace  not  wishing  to  starve  so  handsome  a  compliment  to  him- 
self, no  expense  was  spared  in  getting  it  up  magnificently.  The 
largest  hall  in  the  palace  was  fitted  up  as  a  theatre,  with  appropri- 
ate decorations.  At  the  side  scene  there  was  a  bed  of  turf,  on  which 
I  was  to  be  discovered  asleep,  when  the  Moors  were  to  rush  in  and 
take  me  prisoner.  When  we  had  got  so  forward  with  our  rehearsals 
as  to  be  sure  of  being  ready  by  the  time  fixed,  the  archbishop  sent 
out  cards  of  invitation  to  all  the  principal  families  in  the  city. 

"  At  length  the  great,  the  important  day  arrived ;  and  each  per- 
former was  big  with  the  contrivance  and  adjustment  of  his  dress. 
Mine  was  brought  by  a  tailor,  accompanied  by  our  major-domo, 
who,  after  taking  the  trouble  of  drilling  me  at  rehearsal,  wished  to 
see  justice  done  to  my  outward  appearance.  The  tailor  put  on  me 
a  rich  robe  of  blue  velvet,  with  hanging  sleeves,  gold  lace,  fringe, 
and  buttons:  the  major-domo  himself  crowned  me  with  a  paste- 
board crown,  studded  with  false  diamonds  and  real  pearls.  More- 
over, they  gave  me  a  sash  of  pink  silk  worked  in  silver;  so  that 
every  new  ornament  was  like  a  quill-feather  in  the  wing  of  a  bird. 
At  last,  about  diisk,  the  play  begun.  The  curtain  drew  up  for  my 
soliloquy,  the  purport  of  which  was  to  express,  in  a  roundabout, 
poetical  way,  that  not  being  able  to  defend  myself  from  the  influ- 
ence of  sleep,  I  was  going  to  lie  down  and  take  it  as  it  came.  To 
suit  the  action  to  the  word,  I  sidled  off  to  the  corner  between  the 
flat  and  the  wings,  and  squatted  down  on  my  bed  of  turf;  but 
instead  of  going  to  sleep,  according  to  promise,  I  was  hammering 
upon  the  means  of  getting  into  the  street,  and  running  away  with 
my  coronation  finery.  A  little  private  staircase,  leading  under  the 
theatre  into  the  lower  saloon,  seemed  to  furnish  the  probability  of 
success.  I  slid  away  slyly,  while  the  audience  were  considering 
some  necessary  question  of  the  play,  and  ran  down  the  staircase, 
through  the  saloon  to  the  door,  calling  out,  '  Make  way  !  make  way  I 
I  must  change  my  dress,  and  run  up  again  in  a  moment !'  They  all 
made  a  lane,  for  fear  of  hindering  me ;  so  that  in  less  than  two 
minutes  I  got  clear  out  of  the  palace,  under  cover  of  the  darkness, 
and  scampered  to  the  house  of  my  friend  who  saw  gentlemen's 
trunks  safe  on  board. 

"  He  stared  like  a  stuck  pig  at  my  equipment !  But  when  I  let 
him  into  the  why  and  the  wherefore,  he  laughed  ready  to  split  his 
sides.  Then,  shaking  hands  in  the  sincerity  of  his  heart,  because 
he  flattered  himself  with  the  hope  of  a  pension  on  the  King  of 
Leon's  civil  list,  he  wished  me  joy  of  so  successful  a  first  appear- 
ance, and  joined  issue  with  the  major-domo  in  the  prognostic,  that 
with  encouragement  and  practice  I  should  turn  out  a  first-rate  actor. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  567 

and  make  no  little  noise  in  the  world.  After  we  had  diverted  our- 
selves for  some  time  at  the  expense  of  my  manager  and  audience, 
I  said  to  the  bully,  '  What  shall  we  do  with  this  magnificent  dress  ?' 
'  Do  not  make  yourself  uneasy  about  that,'  answered  he.  '  I  know 
an  honest  broker,  without  an  atom  of  curiosity  in  his  composition, 
who  will  buy  or  sell  anything  with  any  person,  provided  that  he 
gets  the  turn  of  the  market  upon  the  transaction.  I  will  fetch  him 
to  you  to-morrow  morning.'  The  knowing  fellow  was  as  good  as 
his  word ;  for  he  went  out  early  the  next  day,  leaving  me  in  bed, 
and  returned  two  hours  afterwards  with  the  broker,  carrying  a  yellow 
bundle  under  his  arm.  'My  friend,'  said  he,  'give  me  leave  to 
introduce  Signor  Ybagnez  of  Segovia,  who,  in  spite  of  the  bad 
example  set  him  by  the  trade  in  general,  trusts  to  fair  dealing  and 
small  profits  for  a  moderate  pittance  and  an  unblemished  character. 
He  will  tell  you  to  a  fraction  what  the  dress  you  want  to  part  with 
is  really  worth,  and  you  may  take  his  calculation  as  the  balance  of 
justice  between  man  and  man.'  '  Oh,  yes  1  to  a  nicety,'  said  the 
broker.  '  Else  wherefore  live  I  in  a  Christian  land,  but  to  appraise 
for  my  neighbor  as  for  myself?  To  take  a  mean  advantage  never 
was,  thank  heaven !  and  at  these  years  never  shall  be,  imputed  to 
Ybagnez  of  Segovia.  Let  us  look  a  little  at  those  articles  f  You 
are  the  seller ;  I  am  the  buyer  I  We  have  only  to  agree  upon  an 
equitable  price.'  '  Here  they  are,'  said  the  bully,  pulling  them  out: 
'  now  own  the  truth — was  there  ever  anything  more  magnificent? 
You  do  not  often  see  such  velvet:  and  then  the  trimming  I'  'You 
cannot  say  too  much  for  it,'  answered  the  salesman,  examining  the 
suit  with  the  prying  eye  of  a  dealer:  'it  is  of  the  very  first  quality.' 
'And  what  think  you  of  the  pearls  upon  this  crown  ?'  resumed  my 
friend.  'A  little  rounder,'  observed  Ybagnez,  '  and  there  would  be 
no  setting  a  price  upon  theml  However,  take  them  as  they  are,  it 
is  a  very  fine  set,  and  I  do  not  want  to  find  fault  about  trifles.  Now, 
your  common  run  of  appraisers,  under  my  circumstances,  would 
affect  to  disparage  the  goods  for  the  sake  of  getting  them  cheaper ; 
one  of  those  fellows  would  have  the  conscience  to  offer  twenty 
pistoles;  but  there  is  nothing  like  bargaining  with  an  upright, 
downright  man  I  I  will  give  forty  at  a  word  ;  take  them  or  leave 
them.' 

"  Had  Ybagnez  ventured  up  to  a  hundred,  he  would  not  have 
burned  his  fingers;  for  the  pearls  alone  would  have  fetched  two 
hundred  anywhere.  The  bully,  who  went  snacks,  then  said,  '  Now 
only  look  !  What  a  mercy  it  is  to  fall  into  the  hands  of  a,man  not 
of  this  world  !  Signor  Ybagnez  estimates  money  as  dross,  in  com- 
parison of  his  principles  and  his  soul.  He  may  die  to-night,  and 
yet  not  be  taken  unprepared !'     '  This  is  too  much !    You  make 


568  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  DLAS. 

me  blush,'  said  the  salesman  of  principle  and  soul ;  '  but  so  far  is 
true,  that  my  price  is  always  fixed.  Well,  now,  is  it  a  bargain  ? 
The  money  down  upon  the  nail,  too  !'  '  Stop  a  moment,'  answered 
the  bully ;  '  my  little  friend  must  first  try  on  the  clothes  you  have 
bought  for  him  by  my  order .  I  am  very  much  mistaken  if  they  will 
not  just  fit  him.'  The  salesman  then,  untying  his  bundle,  showed 
me  a  second-hand  suit  of  dark  cloth  with  silver  buttons.  I  got  up, 
and  got  into  it ;  too  big  for  me  every  way !  but  these  gentlemen 
could  have  sworn  it  had  been  made  to  my  measure.  Ybagnez  put 
it  at  ten  pistoles ;  and  as  he  was  an  upright,  downright  man,  of 
fixed  principle  and  soul,  estimating  money  as  dross  in  comparison 
of  integrity,  his  first  price  was  of  course  his  last.  He  therefore  took 
out  his  purse,  and  counted  down  thirty  pistoles  upon  a  table ;  after 
which  he  packed  up  the  King  of  Leon's  regalia,  and  went  his- 
way, 

"  When  he  was  gone,  the  bully  said,  '  I  am  very  well  satisfied 
with  that  broker.'  And  so  he  well  might  be ;  for  I  am  certain  he 
must  have  received  at  least  a  hundred  pistoles  as  hush-money.  But 
there  was  no  reason  why  the  broker's  benevolence  should  pay  the 
debts  of  my  gratitude  '•  so  he  took  half  the  money  on  the  table, 
without  saying  with  your  leave  or  by  your  leave,  and  suffered  me  to 
pocket  the  remainder,  with  the  following  advice :  '  My  dear  Scipio, 
with  that  balance  of  fifteen  pistoles,  I  would  have  you  get  out  of 
this  town  as  fast  as  you  can ;  for  you  may  suppose  that  my  lord 
archbishop  will  ferret  you  out  if  you  are  above  ground  It  would 
grieve  me  to  the  heart  if,  after  having  risen  so  superior  to  the  pre- 
judice of  honesty,  you  had  the  weakness  to  fall  foul  of  what  alone 
keeps  it  afloat — the  house  of  correction.'  I  answered  that  it  was  my 
fixed  purpose  to  make  myself  scarce  at  Seville,  and  accordingly, 
after  buying  a  hat  and  some  shirts,  I  travelled  through  vineyards 
and  olive  groves  to  the  ancient  city  of  Carmona ;  and  in  three  days 
afterwards  arrived  at  Cordova. 

"  I  put  up  at  an  inn  close  by  the  market-place,  giving  myself  out 
for  the  heir  of  a  good  family  at  Toledo,  travelling  for  his  pleasure. 
My  appearance  did  not  belie  the  story,  and  a  few  pistoles,  which  I 
contrived  carelessly  to  chink  within  the  landlord's  hearing,  pinned 
his  faith  upon  my  veracity.  Probably  my  unfledged  youth  might 
lead  him  to  take  me  for  some  graceless  little  truant  who  had  robbed 
his  parents  and  run  away.  But  that  was  no  concern  of  his :  he 
took  the  thing  just  qs  I  gave  it  him,  for  fear  lest  his  curiosity  should 
clash  with  my  continuance  at  his  house.  For  six  reals  a  day  one 
could  live  like  a  gentleman  at  this  inn,  where  there  was  generally 
a  considerable  concourse  of  company.  About  a  dozen  people  sat 
down  at  supper.     It  was  whimsical  enough ;  but  the  whole  party 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  569 

plied  their  knives  and  forks  without  speaking  a  word,  except  one 
man,  who  talked  incessantly,  right  or  wrong,  and  made  up  for  the 
silence  of  the  rest  by  his  eternal  babble.  He  affected  to  be  a  wit, 
to  tell  a  good  story,  and  took  great  pains  to  make  the  good  folks 
merry  by  his  puns ;  and  accordingly  they  did  laugh  most  inex- 
tinguishably ;  but  it  was  at  him,  not  with  him, 

"  For  my  part  I  paid  so  little  attention  to  the  talk  of  this  rattle, 
that  I  should  have  got  up  from  table  without  knowing  what  it  waa 
all  about,  if  he  had  not  brought  it  home  to  my  business  and  my 
bosom.  'Gentlemen,'  cried  he,  just  as  supper  was  over,  'I  have 
kept  my  best  story  for  the  last;  a  very  droll  thing  happened  within 
these  few  days  at  the  archbishop  of  Seville's  palace.  I  had  it  from 
a  young  fellow  of  my  acquaintance,  who  assures  me  that  he  was 
present  at  the  time.'  These  words  made  my  heart  jump  up  into  my 
throat,  for  I  had  no  doubt  of  this  being  my  exploit;  and  so  it 
turned  out.  This  pleasant  gentleman  related  the  facts  as  they 
actually  happened,  and  even  carried  the  adventure  to  its  conclusion, 
of  which  I  was  as  yet  ignorant;  but  now  you  shall  be  made  as  wise 
as  myself. 

"  No  sooner  had  I  absconded,  than  the  Moors,  who  were,  accord- 
ing to  the  progress  of  the  fable  and  the  rising  of  the  interest,  to  lay 
violent  hands  on  me,  appeared  upon  the  stage,  for  the  fell  purpose 
of  surprising  me  on  my  bed  of  turf,  where  the  author  had  given 
them  reason  to  expect  me  fast  asleep  ;  but  when  they  thought  they 
were  just  going  to  capot  the  King  of  Leon,  they  found,  to  their 
surprise,  that  both  the  king  and  the  knave  made  a  trick  against 
them.  Here  was  a  hole  in  the  ballad !  The  actors  all  lost  their 
cue ;  some  of  them  called  me  by  name,  others  ran  to  look  for  me : 
here  is  a  fellow  bawling  as  though  his  bellows  would  burst,  there 
stands  another  muttering  to  himself  about  the  devil,  just  as  if  that 
reptile  could  stand  upright  in  such  a  presence !  The  archbishop, 
perceiving  trouble  and  confusion  to  lord  it  behind  the  scenes,  asked 
what  was  the  matter.  At  the  sound  of  the  prelate's  voice,  a  page, 
who  was  the  fiddle  of  the  piece,  came  to  the  front  and  spoke  thus : 
'My  lord  archbishop,  ladies,  and  gentlemen!  We  are  extremely 
sorry  to  inform  you,  as  players,  but  extremely  glad,  as  men  and 
Christians,  that  the  King  of  Leon  is  at  present  in  no  danger  what- 
ever of  being  taken  prisoner  by  the  Moors  :  he  has  adopted  effectual 
measures  for  the  security  of  his  royal  person ;  and  to  the  royal 
person,  as  liberty  avails  little  without  property,  he  has  irrevocably 
attached  the  crown,  insignia,  and  robes.'  'And  a  happy  deliverance 
for  himself  and  Christendom !'  exclaimed  the  archbishop.  '  He  has 
done  perfectly  right  to  escape  from  the  enemies  of  our  religion,  and 
to  burst  from  the  bonds  in  which  their  malice  would  have  laid  him. 


570  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

By  this  time  he  has  probably  reached  the  confines  of  his  kingdom., 
or  may  have  entered  the  capital.  May  no  unlucky  accident  have 
retarded  him  on  his  journey  1  And  that  the  sin  of  none  such  may 
lie  heavy  on  my  conscience,  I  beg  leave  very  positively  to  make  my 
pleasure  known  that  he  may  proceed  unmolested  by  any  interrup- 
tion from  this  quarter;  I  should  be  highly  mortified,  indeed,  if  his 
majesty's  pious  endeavors  were  to  be  frustrated  by  the  slightest  in- 
dignity from  the  ministers  of  that  religion  in  whose  cause  he  labors 
and  suffers.'  The  prelate,  having  thus  declared  his  acquiescence  in 
the  motives  of  my  flight,  ordered  my  part  to  be  read,  and  the  play 
to  be  resumed. 


CHAPTER   XI. 

CONTINUATION  OF  SCIPIO'S  STORY. 

*'  OIO  long  as  I  had  money  in  my  purse,  my  landlord  was  cap  in 
>0  hand ;  but  the  moment  he  began  to  suspect  that  the  funds 
were  low,  he  became  high  and  mighty,  picked  a  German  quarrel 
with  me,  and  one  morning,  before  breakfast,  begged  it  as  a  favor  of 
me  to  march  out  of  his  house.  I  followed  his  counsel  as  proudly  as 
you  please,  and  betook  me  to  a  church  belonging  to  the  fathers  of 
St,  Dominic,  where,  while  mass  was  performing,  an  old  beggar 
accosted  me  on  the  usual  topic  of  alms.  I  dropped  some  small 
change  into  his  hat,  which  was  truly  the  orphan's  mite,  saying,  at 
the  same  time,  '  My  friend,  remember  in  your  prayers  to  mention  a 
situation  for  me;  if  your  petition  is  heard  with  favor,  it  shall  be 
all  the  better  for  you ;  hearty  thanks  and  a  handsome  poundage !' 

"At  these  words,  the  beggar  surveyed  me  up  and  down,  from 
head  to  foot,  and  answered,  in  a  grave  tone,  'What  place  would 
you  wish  to  have?'  'I  should  like,'  replied  I,  *  to  be  a  footman  in 
some  family  where  I  should  do  well.'  He  inquired  whether  the 
matter  pressed.  '  With  all  possible  importunity,'  said  I ;  '  for  un- 
less I  have  the  good  luck  to  get  settled  very  soon,  the  alternative 
will  be  horrible ;  death  by  the  gripe  of  absolute  famine,  or  a  liveli- 
hood in  the  ranks  of  your  fraternity.'  '  If  the  latter  were,  after  all, 
to  be  your  lot,'  resumed  he,  '  it  certainly  would  be  rather  hard  upon 
you,  who  have  not  been  brought  up  to  our  habits  of  life ;  but,  with 
a  little  use  and  practice,  you  would  prefer  our  condition  to  service, 
which,  partiality  apart,  is  far  less  respectable  than  the  beggar's 


ADVENTURES  OP  GIL  BLAS.  571 

vocation.  Nevertheless,  since  you  like  a  menial  occupation  better 
than  leading  a  free  and  independent  life  like  me,  you  shall  have  a 
berth  without  more  ado.  Mean  as  my  appearance  is,  you  must  not 
measure  my  power  by  it.  Meet  me  here  at  the  same  hour  to- 
morrow.' 

"  I  took  care  to  keep  the  appointment.  Though  at  the  spot  before 
the  time,  I  had  not  long  to  wait  before  the  beggar  joined  me,  and 
told  me  to  follow  him.  I  did  so.  He  led  me  to  a  cellar  not  far 
from  the  church,  where  he  resided.  We  went  in  together,  and 
sitting  down  on  a  long  bench,  at  least  a  hundred  years  the  worse 
for  wear,  the  conversation  took  this  turn  on  his  part:  'A  good 
action,'  as  the  proverb  says,  '  always  meets  with  its  reward ;  you 
gave  me  alms  yesterday,  and  that  has  determined  me  to  get  you  a 
place,  which  shall  be  soon  done,  with  a  blessing  on  my  endeavors. 
I  know  an  old  Dominican,  by  name  Father  Alexis,  a  holy  monk,  a 
ghostly  confessor.  I  have  the  honor  to  do  all  his  little  odd  jobs, 
performing  my  task  with  so  much  discretion  and  good  faith,  that 
he  always  lends  his  interest  to  me  and  my  friends.  I  have  spoken 
to  him  about  you,  and  in  such  terms  as  to  prepossess  him  in  your 
favor.  You  may  be  introduced  to  his  reverence  whenever  you 
please.'  • 

" '  There  is  not  a  moment  to  be  lost,'  said  I  to  the  old  beggar ; 
'  let  us  go  to  the  good  monk  immediately.'  The  mendicant  agreed, 
and  led  me  by  the  arm  to  Father  Alexis,  whom  he  found  in  his 
room,  hard  at  work,  writing  spiritual  letters.  He  broke  off  to  talk 
with  me.  As  it  was  the  wish  of  the  mendicant,  he  would  do  all  in 
his  power  to  serve  me.  '  Having  learned,'  pursued  he,  '  that  Signor 
Balthasar  Velasquez  is  in  want  of  a  footboy,  I  wrote  to  him  this 
morning  on  your  behalf,  and  he  just  sent  me  for  answer,  that  he 
would  take  you  without  further  inquiry  on  my  recommendation. 
This  very  day  you  may  call  on  him  from  me ;  he  is  one  of  my  flock, 
and  my  very  good  friend.'  Thereupon  the  monk  preached  to  me 
for  three-quarters  of  an  hour  on  my  moral  and  religious  duties,  and 
how  to  fulfill  them  in  conscience  and  honor.  He  enlarged  princi- 
pally on  the  obligation  of  serving  Velasquez  with  diligence  and 
devotion,  and  then  assured  me  that  he  would  take  care  and  keep 
me  in  my  place,  provided  my  master  had  no  very  material  fault  to 
find  with  me. 

"After  having  thanked  the  holy  person  for  his  goodness  towards 
me,  I  left  the  convent  with  the  beggar,  who  told  me  that  Signor 
Balthasar  Velasquez  was  an  old  woollen-draper,  but  with  much 
simplicity  and  good  nature  in  his  character.  '  I  doubt  not,'  added 
he,  'but  you  will  be  perfectly  comfortable  in  his  house.'  I  begged 
to  know  his  place  of  residence,  and  repaired  thither  immediately. 


572  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

after  promising  to  make  my  gratitude  manifest  as  soon  as  I  bad 
taken  root  in  my  new  soil.  I  went  into  a  large  shop,  where  two 
fashionable  young  apprentices  were  walking  up  and  down,  prac- 
ticing new  grimaces  against  the  entrance  of  the  next  customer.  I 
inquired  whether  their  master  was  at  home,  saying  that  I  wanted 
to  speak  with  him  from  Father  Alexis.  At  that  venerable  name 
they  showed  me  into  the  counting-house,  where  their  principal  waa 
turning  over  the  ledger.  I  made  a  low  bow,  and  coming  up  to  him, 
'  Sir,'  said  I,  '  Father  Alexis  ordered  me  to  call  here  and  offer  my- 
self as  a  servant  to  your  honor.'  '  Ah !  my  smart  lad,'  answered  he, 
'you  are  heartily  welcome.  It  is  enough  that  the  holy  man  sent 
you ;  and  I  shall  take  you  in  preference  to  three  or  four  others  who 
have  been  recommended.  It  is  a  clear  case ;  your  wages  begin  from 
this  day.' 

"A  very  short  time  in  the  famil/  convinced  me  that  the  head  of 
it  was  just  such  a  man  as  he  had  been  described.  In  point  of  sim- 
plicity he  was  everything  that  could  be  wished ;  so  exquisite  a 
subject  for  imposition,  that  it  seemed  next  to  an  impossibility  not 
to  exercise  my  craft  upon  such  a  handle.  He  had  been  a  widower 
four  years,  and  had  two  children,  a  son  of  five-and-twenty  and  a 
daughter  in  her  eleventh  year.  The  girl,  brought  up  by  a  severe 
duenna,  under  the  spiritual  conduct  of  Father  Alexis,  walked  in  the 
high  road  of  virtue ;  but  her  brother,  Gaspard  Velasquez,  though  no 
pains  had  been  spared  to  make  a  good  man  of  him,  picked  out  for 
himself  all  the  vices  of  a  young  profligate.  Sometimes  he  staid 
away  from  home  two  or  three  days  together ;  and  if,  on  his  return, 
his  father  ventured  to  remonstrate  in  the  least  against  his  proceed- 
ings, Gaspard  shut  his  mouth  at  once,  with  a  haughty  toss  of  the 
head  and  an  impertinent  answer. 

"  '  Scipio,'  said  the  old  man  one  day,  '  my  son  is  the  plague  of  my 
life.  He  is  over  head  and  ears  in  all  kinds  of  debauchery  :  and  yet 
there  is  no  accounting  for  it,  since  his  education  was  by  no  means 
neglected.  I  have  given  him  the. very  best  masters  ,  and  my  friend 
Father  Alexis  has  done  his  utmost  to  train  him  up  in  the  way  he 
should  go  ;  but  there  was  no  breaking  him  in  ;  Master  Gaspard  ran 
restive,  and  bolted  into  downright  libertinism.  You  may  perhaps 
tell  me  that  I  spared  the  rod  and  spoiled  the  child.  Quite  other- 
wise !  he  was  punished  whenever  the  occasion  seemed  to  demand 
it;  for,  though  good-tempered  at  bottom,  I  am  not  to  be  played 
upon.  I  have  even  gone  so  far  as  to  lock  him  up  ;  but  that  only 
made  him  more  headstrong  than  before.  In  short,  he  is  one  of 
those  impracticable  beings  on  whom  good  example,  good  advice, 
and  a  good  horsewhip,  are  equally  thrown  away.  If  ever  he 
makes  any  figure  in  the  world,  it  must  be  by  a  miracle  from  heaven.' 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  573 

"  Though*  my  heart  was  not  grievously  wrung  by  the  sorrows  of 
this  unhappy  father,  sympathy  was  expected  from  me,  and  I  con- 
doled with  him  accordingly.  '  How  much  to  be  pitied  you  are,  sirl' 
said  I.  '  Virtues  like  yours  deserve  to  have  been  handed  down  in 
your  progeny.'  'The  event  is  quite  the  reverse,  my  good  lad,'  an- 
swered he.  '  Heaven  heard  my  prayer,  and  gave  me  a  son,  but 
converted  the  blessing  into  an  affliction.  Among  other  grounds  of 
complaint  against  Gaspard,  I  may  tell  you,  in  confidence,  there  is 
one  which  gives  me  a  great  deal  of  uneasiness — a  vast  longing  to  rob 
his  old  father,  which  he  too  often  finds  the  means  of  satisfying,  in 
spite  of  all  my  caution.  Your  predecessor  played  into  his  hands, 
and  was  turned  away  in  consequence.  As  for  you,  I  flatter  myself 
that  my  son  will  never  be  able  to  tamper  with  your  honesty.  You 
will  take  my  side  of  the  question  ;  for  doubtless  Father  Alexis  has 
given  you  your  lesson  on  that  head.'  *  You  may  rest  assured  of 
that,'  said  I :  '  for  a  good  long  hour  did  his  reverence  lecture  me 
on  doing  your  will  and  pleasure  without  let  or  hinderance ;  but  I 
can  assure  you  there  was  no  need  of  his  saying  anything  about  the 
matter.  I  feel  within  myself  a  sort  of  call  to  serve  you  faithfully, 
and  I  promise  to  do  it  with  a  zeal  beyond  all  the  temptations  of  the 
world  to  shake  or  lessen.' 

"  He  who  only  hears  one  side  is  in  danger  of  deciding  partially. 
Young  Velasquez,  a  mixture  of  the  fribble  and  the  braggart,  con- 
cluding ftom  the  cut  of  my  countenance  that  I  was  made  up  of 
mortal  frailty,  like  my  predecessoi-,  drew  me  aside  to  a  snug  corner, 
and  there  talked  to  me  after  this  fashion :  '  Now,  mind  what  is  said 
to  you,  my  dear  fellow ;  you  may  think  I  do  not  know  that  you  are 
set  as  a  spy  upon  me  by  my  father ;  but  take  especial  care  how  you 
proceed,  for  I  can  assure  you  most  sincerely  that  the  office  is  not 
without  very  considerable  inconvenience  to  those  who  undertake  it. 
If  ever  I  find  that  you  tell  tales  out  of  school,  I  will  give  you  such 
a  basting  as  you  never  had  in  your  life ;  but  if  you  will  make  com- 
mon cause  with  me,  and  a  fool  of  my  father,  you  may  buy  golden 
returns  of  gratitude  from  your  humble  servant.  Do  you  wish  me  to 
deal  with  you  upon  the  nail  ?  You  shall  go  snacks  in  all  that  we 
can  squeeze  out  of  the  old  fellow.  You  have  only  to  take  your 
choice ;  fall  at  once  into  the  ranks  of  either  father  or  son ;  for 
neutrals  will  come  worst  off,  where  the  contending  parties  fight  for 
their  existence.' 

"  '  Sir,'  answered  I,  '  you  make  the  shoe  pinch  very  tight ;  it  is 
self-evident  that  there  is  nothing  for  me  to  do  but  to  enlist  under 
your  banners,  though  in  my  conscience  it  seems  like  a  crying  sin  to 
betray  Signor  Velasquez.'  '  That  is  no  concern  of  yours,'  rejoined 
Gaspard;  'he  is  an  old  hunks,  who  wants  to  keep  me  under  his 


574  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  liLAS. 

thumb  ;  a  curmudgeon,  who  refuses  me  the  rights  of  nature,  in  re- 
fusing to  stand  to  the  expenses  and  repairs  of  my  pleasures — for 
pleasures  are  the  necessaries  of  life  at  five-and-twenty.  It  is  in 
this  point  of  view  that  you  must  form  your  opinion  of  my  father.' 
'  If  that  is  the  case,  so  be  it,  sir,'  said  I ;  *  there  is  no  standing 
against  so  just  a  subject  of  complaint.  I  am  quite  at  your  service 
to  play  second  fiddle  in  all  your  laudable  enterprises ;  but  let  us 
take  especial  care  to  conceal  our  good  understanding,  for  fear  your 
faithful,  humble  servant  should  be  kicked  out  of  doors.  It  will  not 
be  amiss,  in  my  poor  opinion,  for  you  to  affect  an  extreme  antipathy 
against  me :  some  good  round  of  abuse  would  have  a  very  pretty 
effect ;  you  need  not  be  nice ;  all  the  blackguard  terms  in  the  dic- 
tionary will  come  at  your  call.  Nay,  a  box  on  the  ear  now  and 
then,  or  a  kick  in  the  breech,  will  break  no  squares;  on  the  con- 
trary, the  more  you  express  your  thorough  dislike,  the  more  Signor 
Balthasar  will  pin  his  faith  upon  my  sleeve.  My  cue  will  be,  ap- 
parently, to  avoid  speaking  to  you  if  possible.  In  waiting  at  table, 
I  shall  perform  my  little  attentions  to  you  at  arm's  length ;  and 
whenever  your  honor  may  happen  to  be  called  over  the  coals  by 
the  shopmen,  you  must  not  take  it  amiss  if  I  abuse  you  worse  than 
a  pickpocket.' 

" '  As  plain  as  chalk  from  cheese !'  cried  young  Velasquez,  at  this 
last  hint;  '  this  is  admirable,  my  friend ;  at  your  early  age  it  is  uncom- 
mon to  meet  with  such  a  talent  for  intrigue;  I  consider  it  as  a  most 
happy  omen  for  my  purpose.  With  such  a  performer  to  play  up  to 
me,  I  flatter  myself  the  old  codger  will  be  pinched  to  the  bone  and 
left  penniless.'  '  You  really  carry  your  good  opinion  of  me  beyond 
what  my  merit  will  justify,'  said  I ;  'some  industry  may  fall  to  my 
share,  but  not  such  exalted  genius.  But  I  shall  do  my  utmost,  and 
if  my  honest  endeavors  fail,  your  candor  must  find  excuses  for  my 
imbecility.' 

"  It  was  not  long  before  Gaspard  had  proof  positive  that  I  was  to 
a  hair's-breadth  the  very  man  he  wanted ;  and  the  following  was 
precisely  the  first  trick  I  played  into  his  hand.  Balthasar's  strong 
box  was  in  the  good  man's  chamber,  by  his  bedside,  a  sort  of  oratory, 
with  a  prayer-book  always  lying  upon  it.  Every  time  I  looked  that 
way,  ray  eyes  glistened  with  hope  and  pleasure ;  my  heart  chuckled 
over  the  very  idea  of  what  might  happen.  '  Fair,  sweet,  cruel  box, 
will  you  forever  be  coy  to  my  addresses?  May  I  never  experience 
the  heartfelt  delight  of  possessing  all  your  charms  for  better,  for 
worse  ?'  As  I  went  into  the  room  at  pleasure,  and  only  Gaspard 
was  warned  off  the  premises,  it  happened  one  day  that  I  watched 
his  father.  The  old  gentleman,  fancying  himself  unobserved  of 
human  eye,  after  having  opened  his  treasury  and  closed  it  fast 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  575 

again,  hid  the  key  behind  the  hangings.  I  took  an  accurate  obser- 
vation of  the  place,  and  communicated  the  discovery  to  my  young 
master,  who  said,  with  an  improving  hug,  'Ah,  my  dear  Scipio, 
what  glorious  news  you  bring!  Our  fortune  is  made,  my  dear  fel- 
low. I  will  furnish  you  with  wax  ;  you  shall  take  the  impression  of 
the  key,  and  then  our  business  is  done.  There  will  be  no  difficulty 
in  finding  a  benevolent  locksmith  in  Cordova,  where,  to  do  the 
place  justice,  there  are  as  many  rogues  as  in  any  part  of  Spain.' 

"  '  Well,  but  why,'  said  I  to  Gaspard,  '  do  you  want  a  false  key  ? 
We  may  find  our  account  in  the  proper  one.'  *  Yes,'  answered  he ; 
'  but  I  am  afraid  lest  my  father,  through  mistrust  or  whim,  should 
take  a  fancy  to  hiding  it  elsewhere,  and  the  safest  way  is  to  have 
one  of  our  own.'  I  commended  his  precaution,  and  falling  in  with 
all  his  principles,  got  ready  for  taking  the  impression  of  the  key ; 
this  was  efiected  one  morning  early,  while  my  old  master  was  pay- 
ing a  visit  to  Father  Alexis,  with  whom  he  for  the  most  part  held 
very  long  conferences.  I  did  not  stop  here,  but  availed  myself  of 
the  key  to  open  the  strong  box,  wherein  an  ample  range  of  large  and 
small  bags  threw  me  into  the  most  delightful  perplexity  imaginable. 
I  did  not  know  which  to  choose,  there  was  such  a  family  likeness 
among  them ;  nevertheless,  as  the  fear  of  being  caught  did  not 
allow  of  any  long  deliberation,  I  laid  hands  hap-hazard  on  the 
largest.  Then,  locking  the  box  carefully,  and  putting  the  key  back 
again  behind  the  hangings,  I  got  away  out  of  the  chamber  with  my 
booty,  and  hid  it  under  my  bed,  in  a  small  closet  where  I  lay. 

"Having  performed  this  exploit  so  successfully,  I  ran  back  as 
fast  as  my  legs  would  carry  me  to  young  Velasquez,  who  was.  wait- 
ing at  a  house  where  he  had  given  me  notice  to  meet  him,  and  hia 
delight  was  extreme  at  the  recital  of  what  I  had  just  done.  He  was 
so  fully  satisfied  with  me  as  to  lavish  caresses  without  number,  and 
to  offer  me  thrice,  in  the  fullness  of  his  heart,  half  the  contents  of 
the  bag,  which  I  did  thrice  refuse.  'No,  no,  sir,'  said  I;  'this  first 
bag  is  yours,  and  yours  only ;  apply  it  to  your  own  uses  and  occa- 
sions. I  shall  return  forthwith  to  the  strong  box,  where,  as  our 
lucky  stars  have  contrived  it,  there  is  money  enough  for  both  of  us.' 
Accordingly,  three  days  afterwards  I  carried  off"  a  second  bag,  con- 
taining, like  the  first,  five  hundred  crowns,  of  which  I  would  only 
handle  the  fourth  part,  let  Gaspard  be  as  pressing  as  he  pleased  to 
force  upon  me  a  brotherly  division,  share  and  share  alike. 

"  As  soon  as  this  young  man  found  himself  so  flush  of  money, 
and  consequently  in  a  condition  to  gratify  his  hankering  after 
women  and  play,  he  gave  himself  up  entirely  to  the  devices  of  his 
own  imagination  ;  nay,  his  evil  genius  pursued  him  so  far  as  to 
make  him  fall  desperately  in  love  with  one  of  those  female  harpie« 


676  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

who  devour  without  remorse  or  intermission,  and  swallow  up  the 
largest  fortunes.  His  disbursements  at  lier  iustigation  were  fright- 
ful, and  thus  it  became  necessary  for  me  to  pay  so  many  visits  to  the 
strong  box  that  old  Velasquez  at  length  found  out  that  he  had  been 
robbed.  *  Scipio,'  said  he  one  morning,  '  I  must  give  you  a  piece  of 
information ;  some  one  robs  me,  my  friend ;  my  strong  box  has  been 
opened ;  several  bags  have  been  taken  put :  that  is  a  certain  fact. 
Whom  ought  I  to  accuse  of  this  theft?  or,  rather,  who  else  but  niy 
son  can  have  committed  it  ?  Gaspard  must  have  got  by  stealth  into 
my  chamber,  or  else  you  yourself  must  have  played  booty  with  him, 
for  I  am  tempted  to  believe  that  you  are  in  league  with  him,  though 
to  outward  appearance  you  do  not  set  up  your  horses  together.  And 
yet  I  am  unwilling  to  harbor  that  suspicion,  because  Father  Alexis 
undertook  to  answer  for  your  honesty.'  I  gave  him  to  understand 
that,  by  the  blessing  of  Heaven  on  a  good  natural  disposition,  my 
neighbors'  goods  had  no  temptation  in  my  sight ;  and  I  so  happily 
suited  the  action  to  the  lie,  and  the  lie  to  the  action,  that  my  judge 
pronounced  a  verdict  of  acquittal  on  the  evidence  of  grimace  and 
hypocrisy. 

"  Accordingly  the  old  man  dropped  the  subject ;  but  for  all  that, 
there  was  a  general  misgiving  \n  his  breast,  and  it  would  sometimes 
light  upon  me.  Taking  precautions,  therefore,  against  our  further 
attacks,  he  had  a  new  lock  put  to  his  strong  box,  and  always  carried 
the  key  in  his  pocket.  By  these  means,  an  embargo  being  laid  on 
our  traffic  with  the  bags,  we  looked  excessively  foolish,  especially 
Gaspard,  who,  being  unable  any  longer  to  keep  his  nymph  in  her 
usual  style,  knew  very  well  that  he  was  likely  to  be  tossed  out  of 
her  window.  He  had,  however,  invention  enough  to  devise  an  ex- 
pedient for  keeping  his  head  above  water  a  few  days  longer,  and 
that  was  neither  more  nor  less  than  to  get  into  his  clutches,  in  the 
form  of  a  loan,  my  dividend  on  the  joint  stock  of  the  strong  box.  I 
refunded  to  the  last  farthing ;  and  this  restitution,  it  is  to  be  hoped, 
may  be  set  off  as  an  anticipated  act  of  justice  to  the  old  draper,  in 
the  person  of  his  heir. 

"The  young  man,  having  exhausted  this  scanty  supply,  and 
desperate  of  any  other,  fell  into  a  deep  melancholy,  and  into  ulti- 
mate derangement.  He  no  longer  looked  on  his  father  in  any 
other  light  than  as  the  bane  of  his  life.  His  frenzy  broke  out  into 
the  most  dreadful  projects  ;  so  that,  without  listening  to  the  voice 
of  consanguinity  or  nature,  the  wretch  conceived  the  impious  design 
of  poisoning  him.  He  was  not  content  with  making  me  privy  to 
the  atrocious  design,  but  even  proposed  to  render  me  the  instru- 
ment of  parricide.  At  the  very  thought,  my  blood  ran  cold  within 
me.    *  Sir/  said  I, '  is  it  possible  that  you  are  so  rejected  of  Heaven 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  577 

as  to  have  formed  this  horrid  plot?  What!  is  it  in  your  nature  to 
murder  the  author  of  your  existence?  Shall  Spain,  the  favored 
abode  of  the  Christian  faith,  bear  witness  to  the  commission  of  a 
crime  at  the  first  blush  of  which  transatlantic  savages  would  recoil 
with  horror?  No,  my  dear  master,'  added  I,  throwing  myself  on 
my  knees,  '  np,  you  will  not  be  guilty  of  an  action  which  would 
raise  the  hand  of  all  mankind  against  you,  and  be  overtaken  by  an 
infamous  punishment.' 

"  I  pressed  many  arguments  beside  on  Gaspard,  to  dissuade  him 
from  so  fearful  an  enterprise.  How  the  deuce  I  came  by  all  the 
moral  and  religious  topics  which  I  brought  to  act  against  the 
fortress  of  his  despair,  is  more  than  I  can  account  for ;  but  it  is 
certain  that  I  preached  like  a  doctor  of  Salamanca,  though  a  mere 
stripling,  born  of  a  gypsy  fortune-teller.  And  yet  it  M'as  to  no 
purpose  that  I  suggested  the  duty  of  communing  with  his  own 
better  resolutions,  and  stoutly  wrestling  with  the  fiend  who  was 
lying  in  wait  for  his  immortal  soul ;  my  pious  eloquence  was  dissi- 
pated into  air.  His  head  hung  sullenly  on  his  bosom,  and  his 
tongue  uttered  no  sound,  in  answer  to  all  my  mollifying  exhorta- 
tions, so  that  there  was  every  reason  to  conclude  that  he  would  not 
swerve  from  his  purpose. 

"Hereupon,  taking  my  own  measures,  I  requested  a  private 
interview  with  my  old  master;  and  being  closeted  with  him,  'Sir,' 
said  I,  'allow  me  to  throw  myself  at  your  feet,  and  to  implore  your 
pity.'  In  pathetic  accord  with  my  moving  accents,  I  prostrated 
myself  before  him,  with  my  face  all  bathed  in  tears.  The  merchant, 
surprised  at  what  he  saw  and  heard,  asked  the  cause  of  my  distress. 
'  Remorse  of  conscience  and  repentance,'  answered  I ;  '  but  neither 
repentance  nor  remorse  can  ever  wash  out  my  guilt.  I  have  been 
weak  enough  to  give  ear  to  your  son,  and  to  be  his  accomplice 
in  robbing  you.'  To  this  confession  I  added  a  sincere  acknowl- 
edgment of  all  that  had  happened,  with  the  particulars  of  my  late 
conversation  with  Gaspard,  whose  design  I  laid  open  without  the 
least  reserve. 

"  Bad  as  was  the  opinion  which  old  Velasquez  entertained  of  his 
•on,  he  could  scarcely  believe  his  ears.  Nevertheless,  finding  no 
good  reason  to  distrust  the  truth  of  my  account,  '  Scipio,'  said  he, 
raising  me  from  the  ground,  where  I  had  till  now  been  prostrate  at 
his  feet,  '  I  forgive  you  in  consideration  of  the  important  notice  you 
have  communicated.  Gaspard !'  pursued  he,  raising  his  voice  up 
to  the  loudness  of  anguish,  'does  Gaspard  aim  a  blow  at  my  life? 
Ah!  ungrateful  son,  unnatural  monster!  better  thou  hadst  never 
been  born,  or  stifled  at  thy  biith,  than  to  have  been  reared  for  the 
destruction  of  thy  father  1  What  plea,  what  object,  what  palliation 
37 


578  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  the  atrocious  deed  ?  I  furnished  thee  annually  with  a  reason- 
able allowance  for  thy  pleasures,  and  what  wouldst  thou  have 
more?  Must  I  have  drained  my  fortune  to  the  dregs  to  support 
thee  in  thy  extravagance?'  Having  vented  his  feelings  in  this 
bitter  apostrophe,  he  enjoined  secrecy  on  me,  and  told  me  to  leave 
him  alone,  while  he  considered  how  to  act  in  so  delicate  a  con- 
juncture. 

"  I  was  very  anxious  to  know  what  resolution  this  unhappy 
father  would  take,  when  on  that  very  day  he  sent  for  Gaspard,  and 
addressed  him  thus,  without  betraying  the  inward  emotions  of  his 
heart :  '  My  son,  I  have  received  a  letter  from  Merida,  purporting 
that  if  you  are  disposed  to  marry,  you  may  make  a  match  with  a 
very  fine  girl  of  fifteen,  with  a  handsome  fortune  in  her  pocket.  If 
you  have  not  forsworn  that  happy  and  holy  estate,  we  will  set  out 
to-morrow  morning  by  daybreak  for  Merida .  you  will  see  the  lady 
in  question,  and  if  she  hits  your  fancy,  the  business  may  soon  be 
settled.'  Gaspard,  pricking  up  his  ears  at  a  handsome  fortune,  and 
already  fingering  the  cash  by  anticipation,  answered  unhesitatingly 
that  he  was  ready  to  undertake  the  journey ;  and  accordingly  they 
departed  the  following  day  at  sunrise,  without  attendants,  mounted 
on  good  mules. 

"  Having  reached  the  mountains  of  Fesira,  in  a  delightful  spot 
for  the  operations  of  banditti,  but  terror-stirring  to  the  timid  souls 
of  travellers,  Balthasar  dismounted,  and  desired  his  son  to  do  like- 
wise. The  young  man  obeyed,  but  expressed  his  surprise  at  such 
a  requisition  in  so  lonely  a  place.  'I  will  tell  you  the  reason 
presently,'  answered  the  old  man,  darting  at  him  a  look  of  mingled 
grief  and  anger :  '  we  are  not  going  to  Merida ;  and  the  alleged 
courtship  was  only  an  invention  of  mine,  for  the  purpose  of  drawing 
you  hither.  I  am  not  ignorant,  ungrateful  and  unnatural  son,  I  am 
not  uninformed  of  your  meditated  crime.  I  am  aware  that  a  poison, 
prepared  by  your  hands,  was  to  have  been  administered  to  me ;  but 
mad  as  you  are,  could  it  enter  into  your  contemplation  that  my  life 
could  have  been  invaded  with  impunity  by  such  means?  How 
fatally  mistaken  !  Your  crime  would  soon  have  been  detected,  and 
you  would  have  perished  under  the  hands  of  the  executioner^ 
There  is  a  safer  way  of  glutting  your  fell  malice  without  exposing 
yourself  to  an  ignominious  death ;  we  are  here  without  witnesses, 
and  in  a  place  where  daily  murders  are  perpetrated ;  since  you  are 
BO  thirsty  after  my  blood,  plunge  your  dagger  into  my  bosom  :  the 
assassination  will  naturally  be  laid  at  the  door  of  some  banditti.' 
After  these  words,  Balthasar,  laying  his  breast  bare,  and  pointing 
to  his  heart,  ended  with  this  challenge:  'Here,  Gaspard,  strike 
deep  enough,  strike  home ;  make  me  pay  that  forfeit  for  having  en- 


ADVENTVBES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  579 

gendered  such  a  disgrace  to  human  nature,  and  no  more  than  what 
is  due  to  so  monstrous  a  production.' 

"  Young  Velasquez,  struck  by  his  reproach  as  by  a  thunderbolt, 
far  from  pleading  in  his  own  justification,  fell  instantly  lifeless  at 
his  father's  feet.  The  good  old  man,  hailing  the  germ  of  repentance 
in  this  unfeigned  testimony  of  shame,  could  not  help  yielding  to 
paternal  weakness ;  he  made  all  possible  haste  to  give  his  assist- 
ance ;  but  Gaspard  had  no  sooner  recovered  the  use  of  his  senses, 
than,  unable  to  stand  in  the  presence  of  a  father  so  justly  offended, 
he  made  an  effort  to  raise  himself  from  the  ground,  then  sprang 
upon  his  mule,  and  galloped  out  of  sight  without  saying  one  word. 
Balthasar  suffered  him  to  take  his  own  course,  and  returned  to  Cor- 
dova, little  doubting  but  conscience  would  play  its  part  in  revenging 
his  wrongs.  Six  months  afterwards  it  appeared  that  the  culprit 
had  thrown  himself  into  the  Carthusian  convent  at  Seville,  there  to 
pass  the  remnant  of  his  days  in  penance. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

CONCLUSION  OP  SCIPIO'S  STOKY. 

"  |)AD  example  sometimes  produces  the  converse  of  itself.  The 
D  behavior  of  young  Velasquez  made  me  think  seriously  of 
my  own  predicament.  I  began  to  wrestle  with  my  thievish  propen- 
sities, and  to  live  like  one  of  the  better  sort.  A  confirmed  habit  of 
pouncing  upon  money  wherever  I  could  get  it  had  been  contracted 
by  such  a  long  succession  of  individual  acts  that  it  was  no  easy 
matter  to  say  where  it  should  stop.  And  yet  I  was  in  hopes  to 
accomplish  my  own  reformation,  under  the  idea  that  to  become 
virtuous,  a  man  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  contract  the  desire  of 
being  so.  I  therefore  undertook  this  great  work,  and  Heaven 
seemed  to  smile  upon  my  efforts.  I  left  off  eyeing  the  old  draper's 
strong  box  with  the  carnal  regard  of  avaricious  longing:  nay,  I 
verily  believe  that,  if  it  had  depended  on  my  own  will  and  pleasure 
to  have  turned  over  the  contents  to  my  own  use,  I  should  have 
abstained  from  the  crime  of  picking  and  stealing.  It  must,  how- 
ever, be  admitted  that  it  would  have  been  an  unadvisable  measure 
to  tempt  my  new-bom  integrity  with  meats  too  strong  for  its  sto- 
mach ;  and  Velasquez  was  nurse  enough  to  keep  me  on  »  proper 
diet. 


580  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

"  Don  Manriquez  de  Medrano,  a  young  gentleman,  knight  of 
Alcantara,  was  in  the  habit  of  coming  backwards  and  forwards  to 
our  house.  He  was  a  customer,  one  of  our  principal  in  point  of 
rank,  if  not  punctual  in  point  of  pay.  I  had  the  happiness  to  find 
favor  with  this  knight,  who  never  met  me  without  that  sort  of 
notice  which  encouraged  conversation,  and  with  that  conversation 
he  appeared  always  to  be  very  much  pleased.  'Scipio,'  said  ho, 
one  day,  '  if  I  had  a  footman  of  your  kidney,  it  would  be  as  good 
as  a  fortune  to  me ;  and  if  you  were  not  in  the  service  of  a  man 
who  stands  so  high  in  luy  regards,  I  should  make  no  scruple  about 
enticing  you  away.'  '  Sir,'  answered  I,  '  you  would  have  very  little 
trouble  in  succeeding ;  for  I  am  distractedly  partial  to  people  of 
fashion ;  it  is  ray  weak  side ;  their  free  and  easy  manners  fascinate 
me  to  the  extreme  of  folly.'  'That  being  the  case,'  replied  Don 
Manriquez,  *  I  will  at  once  beg  Signor  Balthasar  to  turn  you  over 
from  his  household  to  mine :  he  will  scarcely  refuse  me  such  a  re- 
quest.' Accordingly  Velasquez  was  kind  and  complying,  with  so 
much  the  less  violence  to  his  own  private  feelings,  as  there  seemed 
no  reason  to  think  that  if  a  man  parted  with  one  knavish  servant, 
he  might  not  easily  get  another  in  his  place.  To  me  the  change 
was  all  for  the  better,  since  a  tradesman's  service  appeared  but  a 
beggarly  condition  in  comparison  with  the  office  of  own  man  to  a 
knight  of  Alcantara, 

"  To  draw  a  faithful  likeness  of  my  new  master,  I  must  describe 
him  as  a  gentleman  possessing  every  requisite  of  person,  figure, 
manners,  and  disposition.  Nor  was  that  all ;  for  his  courage  and 
honor  were  equal  to  his  other  qualities :  the  goods  of  fortune  were 
the  only  good  things  he  wanted ;  but  being  the  younger  son  of  a 
family  more  distinguished  by  descent  than  opulence,  he  was  obliged 
to  draw  for  his  expenses  on  an  old  aunt  living  at  Toledo,  who  loved 
him  as  her  own  child,  and  administered  to  his  occasions  with  affec- 
tionate liberality.  He  was  always  well  dressed,  and  everywhere 
well  received.  He  visited  the  principal  ladies  in  the  city,  and 
among  others  the  Marchioness  of  Almenara.  She  was  a  widow  of 
seventy-two,  but  the  centre  of  attraction  to  all  the  fashionable 
society  of  Cordova,  by  the  elegance  of  her  manners  and  the  spright- 
liness  of  her  conversation :  men  as  well  as  women  laid  themselves 
out  for  an  introduction,  because  her  parties  conferred  at  once  on 
the  frequenters  the  patent  of  good  company. 

"My  master  was  one  of  that  lady's  most  assiduous  courtiers. 
After  leaving  her  one  evening,  his  spirits  seemed  to  be  more  ele- 
vated than  was  natural  to  him.  'Sir,'  said  I,  'you  are  evidently  in 
a  good  deal  of  agitation ;  may  your  faithful  servant  ask  on  what 
account  ?    Has  anytiiing  happened  out  of  the  common  way  ?'    The 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  581 

young  gallant  smiled  at  so  home  a  question,  and  owned  candidly 
that  he  had  just  been  engaged  in  a  serious  conversation  with  the 
Marchioness  of  Almenara.  *  I  will  lay  a  wager,'  said  I,  laughing 
outright,  *  that  this  moppet  of  threescore  and  ten,  this  girl  in  her 
second  childhood,  has  been  unfolding  to  you  all  the  secret  move- 
ments of  a  tender,  susceptible  heart.'  '  Do  not  make  a  jest  of  it,' 
answered  he ;  '  for  the  fact  is,  my  friend,  that  the  marchioness  is 
seriously  in  love  with  me.  She  told  me  that  the  narrowness  of  my 
circumstances  was  as  well  known  to  her  as  the  nobility  of  my  birth ; 
that  she  had  taken  a  liking  to  me,  and  was  determined  to  place  me 
at  my  ease  by  marriage,  since  she  could  not  decently  lay  her  fortune 
at  my  feet  on  any  other  terms.  That  this  marriage  would  expose 
her  to  public  ridicule,  she  professed  to  have  considered  ;  that  scandal 
would  be  busy  at  her  expense ;  in  short,  that  she  should  pass  for  an 
old  fool  with  an  ambitious  eye  and  a  lickerish  constitution.  No 
matter  for  that !  She  was  not  to  be  awed  from  the  career  of  her 
humor  by  quips  and  sentences :  her  only  alarm  was,  lest  I  should 
either  make  sport  of  her  intentions,  or  torment  her  more  grievously 
by  my  aversion. 

" '  Such,'  continued  the  knight,  '  was  the  substance  of  the  mar- 
chioness's declaration,  and  I  am  the  more  astonished  at  it  because 
she  is  the  most  prudent  and  sensible  woman  in  Cordova ;  wherefore 
I  answered  by  expressing  my  surprise  at  her  honoring  me  with  the 
offer  of  her  hand,  since  she  had  hitherto  persisted  in  her  resolution  of 
remaining  in  a  state  of  widowhood.  To  this  she  replied  that,  having 
a  considerable  fortune,  it  would  give  her  pleasure  to  share  it  in  her 
lifetime  with  a  man  of  honor  to  whom  she  was  attached.'  '  To  all 
appearance,  then,'  rejoined  I,  '  you  have  made  up  your  mind  to  take 
a  lover's  leap.'  'Can  you  doubt  about  that?'  answered  he.  'The 
marchioness  is  immensely  rich,  with  excellent  qualities  both  of 
head  and  heart.  It  would  be  the  extreme  of  folly  and  fastidious- 
ness to  let  so  advantageous  a  settlement  slip  through  my  fingers.' 

"  I  entirely  approved  my  master's  purpose  of  profiting  by  so  fine 
an  opportunity  to  make  his  fortune,  and  even  advised  him  to  bring 
the  matter  to  a  short  issue,  for  fear  of  a  change  in  the  wind.  Hap- 
pily the  lady  had  the  business  more  at  heart  than  myself;  her 
orders  were  given  so  effectually  that  the  necessary  forms  and  cere- 
monies were  soon  got  over.  When  it  became  known  in  Cordova 
that  the  old  Marchioness  of  Almenara  was  getting  herself  ready  to 
be  the  bride  of  young  Don  Manriquez  de  Medrano,  the  wits  began 
breaking  their  odd  quirks  and  remnants  in  derision  of  the  widow ; 
but  though  she  heard  her  own  detractions,  she  did  not  put  them  to 
mending;  the  town  might  talk  as  they  pleased;  for  when  she  said 
she  would  die  a  widow,  she  did  not  think  to  live  till  she  were  mar- 


582  ADVENTURES  OF  QIL  BLAS. 

ried.  The  wedding  was  solemnized  with  a  publicity  and  splendor 
which  furnished  fresh  food  for  evil  tongues.  '  The  bride,'  said  they, 
'  might  at  least  have  had  the  modesty  to  dispense  with  noise  and 
ostentation,  so  unbecoming  in  an  old  widow  who  marries  a  young 
husband.' 

"  The  marchioness,  far  enough  from  yielding  to  the  suggestions  of 
shame  at  her  own  inconsistency,  or  the  disparity  of  their  ages, 
yielded  herself  up  without  constraint  to  the  expression  of  the  most 
lively  joy.  She  gave  a  grand  concert  and  supper,  with  a  ball  after- 
wards, and  invited  all  the  principal  families  in  Cordova.  Just 
before  the  close  of  the  ball,  the  new-married  couple  disappeared, 
and  were  shown  to  an  apartment,  where,  with  no  other  witnesses 
but  her  own  maid  and  myself,  she  spoke  to  my  master  in  these 
terms  :  '  Don  Manriquez,  this  is  your  apartment ;  mine  is  in  another 
part  of  the  house :  we  will  pass  the  night  in  separate  rooms,  and 
will  live  together  by  day  like  mother  and  son.'  At  first  the  knight 
did  not  know  what  to  make  of  this ;  he  thought  that  the  lady  was 
only  trying  his  temper,  as  if  her  coldness  must  be  wooed  to  kindness, 
and  her  love,  like  her  pardon,  not  unsought,  be  won.  Imagining, 
therefore,  that  good  manners  required,  at  least,  the  show  of  passion, 
he  made  his  advances,  and  offered,  according  to  the  laws  of  amorous 
suit  enacted  in  such  cases,  to  assist  in  the  disencumbering  duties  of 
her  toilet ;  but,  so  far  from  allowing  him  to  interfere  with  the  pro- 
vince of  her  servant,  she  pushed  him  back  with  a  serious  air,  saying, 
'Hold,  Don  Manriquez;  if  you  take  me  for  one  of  those  sweet- 
toothed  old  women  who  marry  a  second  time  from  mere  incontinence 
you  do  me  a  manifest  injustice :  my  proposals  were  not  fraught  with 
conditions  of  hard  service  as  the  tenure  of  our  nuptial  contract ;  the 
gift  of  my  heart  was  unmixed  with  sensual  dross,  and  your  gratitude 
is  only  drawn  upon  for  returns  of  pure  and  platonic  friendship.' 
After  this  explanation,  she  left  my  master  and  me  in  our  apartment 
and  withdrew  to  her  own  with  her  attendant,  forbidding  the  bride- 
groom, in  the  most  positive  manner,  to  attempt  retiring  with  her. 

"  After  her  departure,  it  was  some  time  before  we  recovered  from 
our  surprise  at  what  we  had  just  heard.  '  Scipio,'  said  my  master, 
'  could  you  ever  have  believed  that  the  marchioness  would  have 
talked  in  such  a  strain  ?  What  think  you  of  so  philosophic  a  bride?' 
'I  think,  sir,'  answered  I,  'that  she  is  a  phoenix  among  the  brood  of 
hymen.  It  is  for  all  the  world  like  a  good  living  without  parochial 
duties.'  '  For  my  part,'  replied  Don  Manriquez,  '  there  is  nothing 
so  much  to  my  taste  as  a  wife  of  modest  pretensions ;  and  I  mean  to 
make  her  amends  for  the  trophy  she  has  raised  to  unadulterated 
esteem  by  all  the  delicate  attentions  in  my  power  to  pay.'  We  kept 
up  the  subject  of  the  lady's  moderation  till  it  was  full  time  to  sepa- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  583 

rate.  My  quarters  were  fixed  in  an  ante-room  with  a  bookcase  bed- 
stead ;  my  master's  in  an  elegant  bed-chamber  with  every  appurte- 
nance except  one  :  but  however  necessary  it  might  be  to  play  the 
disappointed  bridegroom,  I  am  much  mistaken  if  in  the  bottom  of 
his  soul  he  was  half  so  much  afraid  of^leeping  by  himself  as  of  being 
encumbered  with  a  bedfellow. 

"  The  rejoicings  began  again  on  the  following  day,  and  the  bride 
was  so  jocund  on  the  occasion  that  the  bolts  of  the  fools  among  her 
visitors  were  not  soon  shot.  She  was  the  first  to  laugh  at  all  their 
pointless  jokes ;  nay,  she  even  set  the  little  wits  to  work,  by  giving 
them  an  example  of  pleasantry,  which  they  weris  very  little  able  to 
follow.  The  happy  man,  on  his  part,  seemed  to  be  little  less  happy 
than  his  partner  ;  and  one  would  have  sworn,  judging  by  the  glance 
of  satisfaction  which  accompanied  his  language  and  deportment, 
that  he  liked  mutton  better  than  lamb.  This  well-matched  pair 
had  a  second  conversation  in  the  evening ;  and  then  it  was  decided 
that,  without  interfering  in  the  least  with  one  another,  they  should 
live  together  just  on  the  same  footing  as  they  had  lived  before  mar- 
riage. At  all  events,  much  credit  must  be  given  to  Don  Manriquez 
on  one  account :  he  did,  from  delicate  consideration  towards  his 
wife,  what  few  husbands  would  have  done  under  his  circumstances, 
for  he  discarded  a  little  seamstress  of  whom  he  was  very  fond,  and 
who  was  very  fond  of  him,  because  he  did  not  choose  to  keep  up  a 
connection  insulting  to  the  feelings  of  a  lady  so  studious  of  his. 

"  While  he  was  furnishing  such  unusual  testimonies  of  gratitude 
to  his  elderly  benefactress,  she  overpaid  and  doubly  paid  her  debt 
of  obligation,  even  without  diving  into  its  nature  or  extent.  She 
gave  him  the  master  key  of  her  strong  box,  which  was  better  pro- 
vided than  that  of  Velasquez.  Though  she  had  reduced  her  estab- 
lishment during  widowhood,  it  was  now  replaced  upon  the  same 
footing  as  in  the  lifetime  of  her  first  husband  ;  the  complement  of 
household  servants  was  enlarged ;  the  stud  and  equipages  were  in 
the  very  first  style  ;  in  a  word,  by  her  generosity  and  kindness,  the 
most  beggarly  knight  belonging  to  the  order  of  Alcantara  became 
the  most  moneyed  member  of  the  fraternity.  You  may  perhaps  be 
disposed  to  ask  me  how  much  I  was  in  pocket  by  all  that ;  and  my 
answer  is,  fifty  pistoles  from  my  mistress,  and  a  hundred  from  my 
master,  who,  moreover,  appointed  me  his  secretary,  with  a  salary  of 
four  hundred  crowns ;  nay,  his  confidence  was  so  unbounded,  that  I 
was  fixed  on  to  fill  the  office  of  treasurer." 

"  Treasurer  !"  cried  I,  interrupting  Scipio  at  the  very  idea,  and 
bursting  into  an  immoderate  fit  of  laughter.  "  Yes,  sir,"  replied  he, 
with  a  cool,  unflinching  seriousness;  "you  are  perfectly  right — 
treasurer  was  the  word ;  and  I  may  venture  to  say  that  the  duties 


584  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

of  the  office  were  executed  without  the  slightest  occasion  for  a  com- 
mittee of  inquiry.  True  it  is  that  the  bahmce  may  be  somewhat 
against  me,  for  I  was  always  in  the  habit  of  overdrawing  my  wages; 
and  as  the  firm  was  dissolved  somewhat  suddenly,  it  is  by  no  means 
impossible  that  the  balance  of  my  cash  account  might  be  on  the 
wrong  side ;  but,  at  all  events,  it  was  my  last  slip ;  and  since  that 
time  my  ways  have  been  ways  of  uprightness  and  honesty. 

"Thus  was  I,"  continued  this  son  of  a  gypsy,  "secretary  and 
treasurer  to  Don  Manriquez,  who,  to  all  appearance,  was  as  happy 
in  me  as  I  in  him,  when  he  received  a  letter  from  Toledo,  announc- 
ing that  his  aunt,  Donna  Theodora  Moscoso,  was  on  her  last  legs. 
He  was  so  much  affected  by  the  news  as  to  set  out  instantly  and  pay 
his  duty  to  that  lady,  who  had  been  more  than  a  mother  to  him  for 
several  years.  I  attended  him  on  the  journey  with  only  two  under- 
servants ;  we  were  all  mounted  on  the  best  horses  in  the  stable,  and 
reached  Toledo  without  loss  of  time,  where  we  found  Donna  Theo- 
dora in  a  state  to  warrant  our  hopes  that  she  would  not  at  present 
weigh  anchor  on  her  outward-bound  voyage;  and,  in  fact,  our  judg- 
ment on  her  case,  though  point  blank  in  contradiction  to  that  of  an 
old  physician  who  attended  her,  proved  by  the  event  that  we  knew 
at  least  as  much  of  the  matter  as  he  did. 

"  While  the  health  of  our  venerable  relative  was  improving  from 
day  to  day,  less,  perhaps,  from  the  effect  of  the  prescriptions  than  in 
consequence  of  her  dear  nephew's  presence,  your  worthy  friend  the 
treasurer  passed  his  time  in  the  pleasantest  manner  possible,  with 
some  young  people  whose  acquaintance  was  admirably  calculated 
to  ventilate  the  confined  cash  in  his  pocket.  Sometimes  they  en^ 
ticed  me  to  the  tennis-court,  and  took  me  in  for  a  game :  on  those 
occasions,  not  being  quite  so  steady  a  player  as  my  master  Don  Abel, 
I  lost  much  oftener  than  I  won.  By  degrees  play  became  a  passion 
with  me ;  and  if  the  taste  had  been  suffered  to  gain  complete  pos- 
session, it  would  doubtless  have  laid  me  under  the  necessity  of 
drawing  bills  of  accommodation  on  the  family  bank ;  but  happily 
love  stepped  in,  and  saved  the  credit  both  of  the  bank  and  my  prin- 
ciples. One  day,  passing  along  near  the  church  of  the  Epiphany,  I 
espied,  through  a  lattice  with  the  drapery  drawn  up,  a  young  girl, 
who  might  well  be  called  a  thing  divine,  for  nothing  natural  was 
ever  seen  so  lovely,  I  would  lay  on  my  compliment  still  thicker, 
if  words  were  not  wanting  to  express  the  effect  of  her  first  appear- 
ance upon  my  mind.  I  set  my  wits  to  work,  and  by  dint  of  diligent 
inquiry,  learned  that  her  name  was  Beatrice,  and  that  she  was 
waiting-maid  to  Donna  Julia,  younger  daughter  of  the  Count  de 
Polan." 

Beatrice  broke  in  upon  the  thread  of  Scipio's  story  by  laughing 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  585 

immoderately  ;  then,  directing  her  speech  to  my  wife,  "  Charming 
Autonia,"  said  she,  "do  but  just  look  at  me,  I  beseech  you,  and  then 
say  truly  whether  I  could  be  likened  to  a  thing  divine,"  "  You 
might  at  that  time,  to  my  enamored  sight,"  said  Scipio ;  "  and,  since 
your  conjugal  faith  is  no  longer  under  a  cloud,  my  visual  appetite 
increases  by  what  it  feeds  on."  It  was  a  pretty  compliment; 
and  my  secretary,  having  fired  it  off,  pursued  his  narrative  as  fol- 
lows : — 

" This  intelligence  kindled  the  flame  of  passion  within  me;  but 
not,  it  must  be  confessed,  a  flame  which  could  be  acknowledged 
without  a  blush.  I  took  it  for  granted  that  my  triumph  over  her 
scruples  would  be  easy,  if  my  biddings  were  high  enough  to  com- 
mand the  ordinary  market  of  female  chastity ;  but  Beatrice  was  a 
pearl  beyond  price.  In  vain  did  I  solicit  her,  through  the  channel 
of  some  intriguing  gossips,  with  the  offer  of  my  purse  and  of  my 
most  tender  attentions  ;  she  rejected  all  my  proposals  with  disdain. 
I  had  recourse  to  the  lover's  last  remedy,  and  offered  her  my  hand, 
which  she  deigned  to  accept  on  the  strength  of  my  being  secretary 
and  treasurer  to  Don  Manriquez.  As  it  seemed  expedient  to  keep 
our  marriage  secret  for  some  time,  the  ceremony  was  performed 
privately,  in  presence  of  Dame  Lorenza  Sephora,  Seraphina's  gov- 
erness, and  before  some  others  of  the  Count  de  Polan's  household. 
After  our  happy  union,  Beatrice  contrived  the  means  of  our  meeting 
by  day,  and  passing  some  part  of  every  night  together  in  the  gar- 
den, whither  I  repaired  through  a  little  gate  of  which  she  gave  me 
a  key.  Never  were  man  and  wife  better  pleased  with  each  other 
than  Beatrice  and  myself:  with  equal  impatience  did  we  watch  for 
the  hour  of  our  appointment ;  with  congenial  emotions  of  eager 
sensibility  did  we  hasten  to  the  spot,  and  the  moments  which  we 
passed  together,  though  countless  from  their  number  in  the  calendar 
of  cold  indifference,  to  us  were  few  and  fleeting,  in  comparison  with 
that  eternity  of  mutual  bliss  for  which  we  panted, 

"  One  night — a  night  which  should  be  expunged  from  the  alma- 
nac— a  night  of  darkness  and  despair,  contrasted  with  the  bright- 
ness of  all  our  former  nights, — I  was  surprised  on  approaching  the 
garden  to  find  the  little  gate  open.  This  unusual  circumstance 
alarmed  me,  for  it  seemed  to  augur  something  inauspicious  to  my 
happiness,  I  turned  pale  and  trembled,  as  if  with  a  foreknowledge 
of  what  was  going  to  happen.  Advancing  in  the  dark  towards  a 
bower  where  our  private  meetings  had  usually  taken  place,  I  heard 
a  man's  voice.  I  stopped  on  the  instant  to  listen,  when  the  follow- 
ing words  struck  like  the  sound  of  death  upon  my  ear:  'Do  not 
keep  me  languishing  in  suspense,  my  dear  Beatrice ;  make  my  hap- 
piness complete,  and  consider  that  your  own  fortunes  are  closely 


686  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

connected  with  mine.'  Instead  of  having  patience  to  hear  further, 
it  seemed  as  if  more  had  been  said  than  blood  could  expiate  ;  that 
devil  jealousy  took  possession  of  my  soul ;  I  drew  my  sword,  and, 
breathing  vengeance,  rushed  into  the  bower.  '  Ah,  base  seducer  1' 
cried  I,  '  whoever  you  are,  you  shall  tear  this  heart  from  out  my 
breast  rather  than  touch  my  honor  on  its  tenderest  point.'  With  these 
words  on  my  lips,  I  attacked  the  gentleman  who  was  talking  with 
Beatrice.  He  stood  upon  his  guard  without  more  ado,  like  a  man 
much  better  acquainted  with  the  science  of  arms  than  myself,  who 
had  only  received  a  few  lessons  from  a  fencing-master  at  Cordova. 
And  yet,  strong  as  his  sword-arm  was,  I  made  a  thrust  which  he 
could  not  parry,  or  what  is  more  likely,  his  foot  slipped.  I  saw  him 
fall,  and,  fancying  that  I  had  wounded  him  mortally,  ran  away  as 
hard  as  my  legs  would  carry  me,  without  deigning  to  answer  Bea- 
trice, who  would  have  called  me  back." 

"Yes,  indeed!"  said  Scipio's  wife,  resolved  to  have  her  share  in 
the  development  of  the  story ;  "  I  called  out  for  the  purpose  of 
undeceiving  him.  The  gentleman  conversing  with  me  in  the  arbor 
was  Don  Ferdinand  de  Leyva.  This  nobleman,  who  was  in  love 
with  my  mistress,  Julia,  had  laid  a  plan  for  running  away  with  her, 
from  despair  of  being  able  to  obtain  her  hand  by  any  other  means, 
and  I  had  myself  made  this  assignation  with  him  in  the  garden,  to 
concert  measures  for  the  elopement,  and  with  his  fortune  he  assured 
me  that  my  own  was  closely  linked ;  but  it  was  in  vain  that  I 
screamed  after  my  husband :  he  darted  from  me  as  if  my  very  touch 
were  contamination." 

"In  such  a  state  of  mind,"  resumed  Scipio,  "I  was  incapable  of 
anything.  Those  who  know  by  experience  what  jealousy  is,  into 
what  extravagance  it  drives  the  best  regulated  spirits,  will  be  at  no 
loss  to  conceive  the  disorder  it  must  have  produced  in  my  weak 
brain.  I  passed  in  a  moment  from  one  extreme  to  another :  emo- 
tions of  hatred  succeeded  instantaneously  to  all  my  former  senti- 
ments of  affection  for  my  wife.  I  took  an  oath  never  to  see  her 
more,  and  to  banish  her  forever  from  my  memory.  Besides,  the 
supposed  death  of  a  man  lay  upon  my  conscience,  and,  under  that 
idea,  I  was  afraid  of  falling  into  the  hands  of  justice ;  so  that  every 
torment  which  could  be  accumulated  on  the  head  of  guilt  and  misery, 
by  the  fury  of  despair  and  the  demon  of  remorse,  was  the  remedi- 
less companion  of  my  wretched  flight.  In  this  dreadful  situation, 
thinking  only  of  my  escape,  I  returned  home  no  more,  but  imme- 
diately quitted  Toledo,  with  no  other  provision  for  my  journey  but 
the  clothes  on  my  back.  It  is  true  I  had  about  sixty  pistoles  in  my 
pocket — a  tolerable  supply  for  a  young  man  whose  views  in  life 
pointed  no  higher  than  a  good  service. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  587 

"  I  walked  forward  all  night,  or  rather  ran,  for  the  phantom  of  an 
alguazil  always  dogging  me  at  the  heels  made  me  perform  wonderc 
of  pedestrian  activity.  The  dawn  overtook  me  between  Eodillas 
and  Maqueda.  When  I  was  at  the  latter  town,  finding  myself  a 
little  weajy,  I  went  into  the  church  which  was  just  opened,  and 
having  put  up  a  short  prayer,  sat  down  on  a  bench  to  rest.  I  began 
musing  on  the  state  of  my  affairs,  which  were  sufficiently  out  at 
elbows  to  require  all  my  skill  in  patchwork ;  but  the  time  for  reflec- 
tion, as  well  as  for  repentance,  was  cut  short.  The  church  echoed 
on  a  sudden  with  three  or  four  smacks  of  a  whip,  which  made  me 
conclude  that  some  carrier  was  on  the  foad.  I  immediately  got  up 
to  go  and  see  whether  I  was  right,  or  wrong.  At  the  door  I  found  a 
man  mounted  on  a  mule,  leading  two  others  by  the  halter.  *  Stop, 
my  friend,'  said  I;  'whither  are  tTiose  two  mules  going?'  'Tq 
Madrid,'  answered  he.  '  I  came,  hither  with  two  good  Dominicans, 
and  am  now  setting  out  on  my  return.' 

"  Such  an  opportunity  of  going  to  Madrid  g^ve  me  an  itching 
desire  for  the  expedition.  I  made  my  bargain  with  the  muleteer, 
jumped  upon  one  of  his  mules,  and  away  we  scampered  towards 
Illescas,  where  we  were  to  put  up  for  the  night.  Scarcely  were  we 
out  of  Maqueda,  before  the  muleteer,  a  man  from  five-and-thirty  to 
forty,  began  chanting  the  church  service  with  a  most  collegiate 
twang.  This  trial  of  his  lungs  began  with  matins,  in  the  drowsy 
tone  of  a  canon  between  asleep  and  awake ;  then  he  roared  out  the 
Belief,  alternately  in  contralto,  tenor,  and  bass,  in  all  the  harmoni- 
ous confusion  of  high  mass ;  and  not  content  with  that,  he  rang  the 
bell  for  vespers,  without  sparing  me  a  single  petition,  or  so  much  as 
a  bar  of  the  Magnificat.  Though  the  scoundrel  almost  cracked  the 
drum  of  my  ear,  I  could  not  help  laughing  heartily,  and  even  egged 
him  on  to  make  the  welkin  reverberate  with  his  hallelujahs,  when 
the  anthem  was  suspended  a  few  rests,  for  the  necessary  purpose  of 
supplying  wind  to  the  organ.  '  Courage,  my  friend  1'  said  I ;  '  go 
on  and  prosper.  If  Heaven  has  given  you  a  good  capacious  throat, 
you  are  neither  a  niggard  nor  a  perverter  of  its  precious  boon.' 
*0  !  certainly  not,  for  the  matter  of  that,'  cried  he:  'happily  for  my 
immortal  soul,  I  am  not  like  carriers  in  general,  who  sing  nothing 
but  profane  songs  about  love  or  drinking :  I  do  not  even  defile  my 
lips  with  ballads  on  our  wars  against  the  Moors ;  such  subjects  are 
at  least  light  and  unedifying,  if  not  licentious  and  impure.'  'You 
have,'  replied  I,  '  an  evangelical  purity  of  heart  which  belongs  only 
to  the  elect  among  muleteers.  With  this  excessive  squeamishness 
of  yours  about  the  choice  of  your  music,  have  you  also  taken  a  vow 
of  continence,  wherever  there  is  a  young  bar-maid  to  be  picked  up 
at  an  inn?'     'Assuredly,'  rejoined  he;  'chastity  ia  also  a  virtue  by 


588  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  liLAS. 

which  it  ia  my  pride  to  ward  oif  the  temptations  of  the  road,  where 
my  only  business  is  to  look  after  my  mules.'  I  was  in  no  small 
degree  astonished  at  such  pious  sentiments  from  this  prodigy  of 
psalm-singing  mule-drivers;  so  that,  looking  upon  him  as  a  man 
above  the  vanities  and  corruptions  of  this  nether  world,  I  fell 
into  chat  with  him  after  he  had  gone  the  length  of  his  tether  in 
singing. 

"  We  got  to  Illescas  late  in  the  day.  On  entering  the  inn-yard, 
I  left  the  care  of  the  mules  to  my  companion,  and  went  into  the 
kitchen,  where  I  ordered  the  landlord  to  get  us  a  good  supper, 
which  he  promised  to  perform  so  much  to  my  satisfaction  as  to  make 
me  remember  all  the  days  of  my  life  what  usage  travellers  met 
with  at  his  house.  *  As,'  added  he,  '  now  only  ask  your  carrier  what 
sort  of  a  man  I  am.  By  all  the  powers  of  seasoning  I  I  would  defy 
the  best  cook  in  Madrid  or  Toledo  to  make  an  olio  at  all  to  be 
compared  to  mine.  I  shall  treat  you  this  evening  with  some  stewed 
rabbit  after  a  receipt  of  my  own ;  you  will  then  see  whether  it  i? 
any  boast  to  say  that  I  know  how  to  send  up  a  supper.'  There- 
upon, showing  me  a  stewpan  with  a  young  rabbit,  as  he  said,  cut 
up  into  pieces,  '  There,'  continued  he,  *  is  what  I  mean  to  favor  you  , 
with.  When  I  shall  have  thrown  in  a  little  pepper,  some  salt, 
wine,  a  handful  of  sweet  herbs,  and  a  few  other  ingredients  which  I 
keep  for  my  own  sauces,  you  may  depend  on  sitting  down  to  such  a 
dish  as  would  not  disgrace  the  table  of  a  chancellor  or  an  arch- 
bishop.' 

"  The  landlord,  having  thus  done  justice  to  his  own  merits,  began 
to  work  upon  the  materials  he  had  prepared.  While  he  was  labor- 
ing in  his  vocation,  I  went  into  a  room,  where,  lying  down  on  a 
sort  of  couch,  I  fell  fast  asleep  through  fatigue,  having  taken  no 
rest  the  night  before.  In  the  space  of  about  two  hours,  the  mule- 
teer came  and  awakened  me,  with  the  information  that  supper  was 
ready,  and  a  pressing  request  to  take  my  place  at  table.  The  cloth 
was  laid  for  two,  and  we  sat  down  to  the  hashed  rabbit.  I  played 
my  knife  and  fork  most  manfully,  finding  the  flavor  delicious, 
whether  from  the  force  of  hunger  in  communicating  a  candid  mode 
of  interpretation  to  my  palate,  or  from  the  natural  effect  of  the 
ingredients  compounded  by  the  cook.  A  joint  of  roast  mutton  was 
next  served  up.  It  was  remarkable  that  the  carrier  only  paid  his 
respects  to  this  last  article  ;  and  I  asked  him  why  he  had  not  taken 
his  share  ofthe  other.  He  answered,  with  a  suppressed  smile,  that 
he  was  not  fond  of  made  dishes.  This  reason,  or  rather  the  turn  of 
countenance  with  which  it  was  alleged,  seemed  to  imply  more  than 
was  expressed.  'You  have  not  told  me,'  said  I,  'the  real  meaning 
of  your  not  eating  the  fricassee ;  do  have  the  goodness  to  explain 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  589 

it  at  once.'  'Since  you  are  so  curious  to  be  made  acquainted  with 
it,'  replied  he,  *  I  must  own  that  I  have  an  insuperable  aversion  to 
cramming  my  stomach  with  meats  in  masquerade,  since  one  evening 
at  an  inn  on  the  road  between  Toledo  and  Cuencja,  they  served  me 
up,  instead  of  a  wild  rabbit,  a  hash  of  tame  cat — enough,  of  all  con- 
science, ever  after  to  set  my  intestines  in  battle  array  against  all 
minces,  stews,  and  force-meats,' 

"  No  sooner  had  the  muleteer  let  me  into  this  secret  than,  in  spite 
of  the  hunger  which  raged  within  me,  my  appetite  left  me  com- 
pletely in  the  lurch.  I  conceived,  in  all  the  horrors  of  extreme 
loathing,  that  I  had  been  eating  a  cat  dressed  up  as  the  double  of 
a  rabbit;  and  the  fricassee  had  no  longer  any  power  over  my 
senses,  except  by  producing  a  strong  inclination  to  retch.  My 
companion  did  not  lessen  my  tendency  that  way  by  telling  me  that 
the  innkeepers  in  Spain,  as  well  as  the  pastry-cooks,  were  very  much 
in  the  habit  of  making  that  substitution.  The  drift  of  the  conver- 
sation was,  as  you  may  perceive,  very  much  in  the  nature  of  a 
lenitive:  so  much  so  that  I  had  no  mind  to  meddle  any  more 
with  the  dish  of  undefinables,  nor  even  to  make  an  attack  upon  the 
roast  meat,  for  fear  the  mutton  should  have  performed  its  duty  by 
deputy  as  well  as  the  rabbit.  I  jumped  up  from  table,  cursing  the 
cookery,  the  cook,  and  the  whole  establishment ;  then,  throwing 
myself  down  upon  the  sofa,  I  passed  the  night  with  less  nausea 
than  might  reasonably  have  been  expected.  The  day  following, 
with  the  dawn,  after  having  paid  the  reckoning  with  as  princely  an 
air  as  if  we  had  been  treated  like  princes,  away  went  I  from  Illescas, 
bearing  my  faculties  so  strongly  impregnated  with  fricassee  that  I 
took  every  animal  which  crossed  the  road,  of  whatever  species  or 
dimensions,  for  a  cat. 

"  We  got  to  Madrid  betimes,  where  I  had  no  sooner  settled  with 
my  carrier  than  I  hired  a  ready-furnished  lodging  near  the  Sun- 
gate.  My  eyes,  though  accustomed  to  the  great  world,  were, 
nevertheless,  dazzled  by  the  concourse  of  nobility  which  was  ordi- 
narily seen  in  the  quarter  of  the  court.  I  admired  the  prodigious 
number  of  carriages,  and  the  countless  list  of  gentlemen,  pages, 
gentlemen's  gentlemen,  and  plain,  downright  footmen,  in  the  train 
of  the  grandees.  My  admiration  exceeded  all  bounds  on  going  to 
the  king's  levee,  and  beholding  the  monarch  in  the  midst  of  his 
court.  The  effect  of  the  scene  was  enchanting,  and  I  said  to 
myself,  '  It  is  no  wonder  they  should  say  that  one  must  see  the 
court  of  Madrid  to  form  an  adequate  idea  of  its  magnificence:  I  am 
delighted  to  have  directed  my  course  hither,  and  feel  a  sort  of 
prescience  within  me  that  I  shall  not  come  away  without  taking 
fortune  by  surprise.'    I  caught  nothing  napping,  however,  but  my 


590  ADVENTUliES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

own  prudence,  in  making  some  thriftless,  expensive  acquaintance. 
My  money  oozed  away  in  tlie  rapid  thaw  of  my  propriety  and 
better  judgment,  so  that  it  became  a  measure  of  expedient  degrada- 
tion to  throw  away  my  transcendent  merit  on  a  pedagogue  of 
Salamanca,  whom  some  family  lawsuit  or  other  concern  had  brought 
to  Madrid,  where  he  was  born,  and  where  chance,  more  whimsical 
than  wise,  thrust  me  within  the  horizon  of  his  knowledge.  I 
became  his  right  hand,  his  prime,  principal  agent,  and  dogged  him 
at  the  heels  to  the  university  when  he  returned  thither. 

"  My  new  employer  went  by  the  name  of  Don  Ignacio  de  Ipigna. 
He  furnished  himself  with  the  handle  of  don,  inasmuch  as  he  had 
been  tutor  to  a  nobleman  of  the  first  rank,  who  had  recompensed 
his  early  services  with  an  annuity  for  life :  he  likewise  derived  a 
snug  little  salary  from  his  professorship  in  the  university ;  and,  in 
addition  to  all  this,  laid  the  public  under  a  yearly  contribution  of 
two  or  three  hundred  pistoles  for  books  of  uninstructive  morality, 
which  he  protruded  from  the  press  periodically  by  weight  and 
measure.  The  manner  in  which  he  worked  up  the  shreds  and 
patches  of  his  composition  deserves  a  notice  somewhat  more  than 
cursory.  The  heavy  hours  of  the  forenoon  were  spent  in  muzzing 
over  Hebrew,  Greek,  and  Latin  authors,  and  in  writing  down  upon 
little  squares  of  card  every  pithy  sentence  or  striking  thought  which 
occurred  in  the  morning's  reading.  According  to  the  progress  of 
this  literary  Pan  in  winning  tricks  from  the  ancients,  he  employed 
me  to  score  up  his  honors  in  the  form  of  an  Apollo's  wreath :  these 
metaphysical  garlands  were  strung  upon  wire,  and  each  garland 
made  a  pocket  volume.  What  an  execrable  hash  of  wholesome 
viands  did  we  cook  up!  The  commandments  set  at  loggerheads 
with  an  utter  confusion  of  tables;  epicurean  conclusions  grafted  on 
stoical  premises !  TuUy  quoting  Epictetus,  and  Seneca  supporting 
his  antitheses  on  the  authority  of  monkish  rhyme !  Scarcely  a 
month  elapsed  without  our  putting  forth  at  least  two  volumes,  so 
that  the  press  was  kept  continually  groaning  under  the  weight  of 
our  transgressions.  What  seemed  most  extraordinary  of  all  was, 
that  these  literary  larcenies  were  palmed  upon  the  purchasers  for 
spick  and  span  new  wares,  and  if,  by  any  strange  and  improbable 
chance,  a  thick-headed  critic  should  stumble  with  his  noddle  smack 
against  some  palpable  plagiarism,  the  author  would  plead  guilty 
to  the  indictment,  and  make  a  merit  of  serving  up  at  second- 
hand 

'  What  Gellius  or  Stobeeus  hashed  before, 
Though  chewed  by  blind  old  scholiasts  o'er  and  o'er.' 

He  was  also  a  great  commentator,  and  filled  his  notes  chuck  full  of 
80  much  erudition  as  to  multiply  whole  pages  of  discussion  upon 


I 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  591 

what  homely  common-sense  would  have  consigned  to  the  brief  alter- 
native of  a  query : — 

'  Disputes  of  Me  or  Te,  or  Aut  or  At, 
To  sound  or  sink  in  cano  0  or  A, 
Or  give  up  Cicero  to  C  or  K.' 

"  As  almost  every  author,  ethical  and  didactic,  from  Hesiod  down 
to  himself,  took  his  turn  to  dangle  on  some  one  or  other  of  our  manu- 
script garlands,  it  was  impossible  for  me''not  to  suck  in  somewhat  of 
sage  nurture  from  so  copious  a  stream  of  philosophy :  it  would  be 
rank  ingratitude  to  shift  off  my  obligation.  My  handwriting  also 
became  strictly  and  decidedly  legible,  by  dint  of  continual  transcrip- 
tion ;  my  estate  was  more  that  of  a  pupil  than  of  a  servant,  and  my 
morals  were  not  neglected,  while  my  mind  was  polished,  and  my 
faculties  raised  above  their  former  level.  '  Scipio,'  he  used  to  say, 
when  he  chanced  to  hear  of  any  serving  lad  with  more  cunning  than 
honesty  in  his  dealings,  '  beware,  my  good  boy,  how  you  take  after 
the  evil  example  of  that  graceless  villain.  "  The  honor  of  a  servant 
is  his  fidelity ;  his  highest  virtues  are  submission  and  obedience.  Be 
studious  of  thy  master's  interests;  be  diligent  in  his  affairs,  and 
faithful  to  the  trust  which  he  reposeth  in  thee.  Thy  time  and  thy 
labor  belong  unto  him.  Defraud  him  not  thereof,  for  he  payeth  thee 
for  them." '  To  sum  up  all,  Don  Ignacio  lost  no  opportunity  of 
leading  me  on  in  the  path  of  virtue,  and  his  prudent  counsels  sank 
so  deep  into  my  heart  as  to  keep  under  anything  like  even  the 
slightest  wish  of  playing  him  a  rogue's  trick  during  the  fifteen 
months  which  I  spent  in  his  service. 

"  I  have  already  mentioned  that  Doctor  de  Ipigna  was  a  native  of 
Madrid.  He  had  a  relation  there,  by  name  Catalina,  waiting-maid 
to  the  lady  who  officiated  as  nurse  to  the  heir-apparent.  This  abi- 
gail,  the  same  through  whose  intervention  I  got  Signor  de  Santillane 
released  from  the  tower  of  Segovia,  intent  on  rendering  a  service  to 
Don  Ignacio,  prevailed  with  her  mistress  to  petition  the  Duke  of 
Lerma  for  some  preferment.  The  minister  named  him  for  the  arch- 
deaconry of  Granada,  which,  as  a  conquered  country,  is  in  the  king's 
gift.  We  repaired  immediately  to  Madrid  on  receiving  the  intelli- 
gence, as  the  doctor  wished  to  thank  his  patronesses  before  he  took 
possession  of  his  benefice.  I  had  more  than  one  opportunity  of  see- 
ing Catalina,  and  conversing  with  her.  The  cheerful  turn  of  my 
temper  and  a  certain  easy  air  of  good  company  were  altogether  to 
her  taste;  for  my  part,  I  found  her  so  much  to  my  liking,  that  I 
could  not  help  saying  yes  to  the  little  advances  of  partiality  which 
she  made  in  my  favor :  in  short,  we  got  to  feel  very  kindly  towards 
each  other.  You  must  not  write  a  comment  with  your  nails,  my 
dear  Beatrice,  on  this  episode  in  the  romance  of  my  amours,  because 


6y-J  ADVENTUKES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

I  w<as  firmly  persuaded  of  your  inconstancy,  and  you  will  allow  that 
heresy,  though  impious,  being  also  blind,  my  penance  may  reason- 
ably be  remitted  on  sincere  conversion. 

"  In  the  meantime.  Doctor  Ignacio  was  making  ready  to  set  out 
for  Granada.  His  relation  and  myself,  out  of  our  wits  at  the  im- 
pending separation,  had  recourse  to  an  expedient  which  rescued  us 
from  its  horrors :  I  shammed  illness,  complained  of  my  head,  com- 
plained of  my  chest,  and  made  a  characteristic  wry  face  for  every 
pain  and  ache  in  the  catalogue  of  human  infirmities.  My  master 
called  in  a  physician,  who  told  me  with  a  grave  face,  after  putting 
his  questions  in  the  usual  course,  that  my  complaint  was  of  a  much 
more  serious  nature  than  it  might  appear  to  unprofessional  observa* 
tion,  and  that,  according  to  all  present  likelihood,  I  should  keep  my 
chamber  a  long  time.  The  doctor,  impatient  to  take  possession  of 
his  preferment,  did  not  think  it  quite  so  well  to  delay  his  departure, 
but  chose  rather  to  hire  another  boy ;  he  therefore  contented  himself 
with  handing  me  over  to  the  care  of  a  nurse,  with  whonl  he  left  a 
sum  of  money  to  bury  me  if  I  should  die,  or  to  remunerate  me  for 
my  services  if  I  should  recover. 

"As  soon  as  I  knew  Don  Ignacio  to  be  safe  on  the  road  for 
Granada,  I  was  cured  of  all  my  maladies.  I  got  up,  made  my  final 
bow  to  the  physician  who  had  evinced  so  thorough  a  knowledge  of 
my  case,  and  fairly  turned  my  nurse  out  of  doors,  who  made  her 
retreat  good  with  baggage  and  ammunition  to  the  amount  of  more 
than  half  the  sum  for  which  she  ought  to  have  accounted  with  me. 
While  I  was  enacting  the  sick  man,  Catalina  was  playing  another 
part  about  the  person  of  her  mistress.  Donna  Anna  de  Gu6vra,  into 
whose  conception  having,  by  dint  of  many  a  wordy  process,  inserted 
the  notion  that  I  was  the  man  of  all  others  ready  cut  and  dry  for 
an  intrigue,  she  induced  her  to  choose  me  for  one  of  her  agents. 
The  royal  and  most  catholic  nurse,  whose  genius  for  great  under- 
takings was  either  produced  or  exasperated  by  the  love  of  great 
possessions,  having  occasion  for  suitable  ministers,  received  me 
among  her  hangers-on,  and  lost  no  opportunity  of  ascertaining  how 
far  I  was  for  her  purpose.  She  confided  some  commissions  to  my 
care,  which,  vanity  apart,  called  for  no  little  address,  and  what  they 
called  for  was  ready  at  hand  :  accordingly  she  gave  me  all  possible 
credit  for  the  diligent  execution  of  my  office,  while  my  discontent 
swelled  high  against  her  for  fobbing  me  off  with  the  cold  recom- 
pense of  approbation.  The  good  lady  was  so  abominably  avaricious 
as  not  to  give  me  a  working  partner's  share  in  the  profits  of  my 
industry,  nor  to  allow  for  the  wear  and  tear  of  my  cons"cience.  She 
seemed  inclined  to  consider  that  by  paying  me  my  wages  all  the 
requisitions  of   Christian    charity  were  made  good   between  us. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  593 

This  excess  of  illiberal  economy  would  soon  have  parted  us  had 
it  not  been  for  the  fascination  of  Catalina's  gentle  virtues,  who  be- 
came more  desperately  in  love  with  me  from  day  to  day,  and  com- 
pletedthe  paroxysm  by  a  formal  proposal  of  marriage. 

"  '  Fair  and  softly,  my  pretty  friend,'  said  I ;  '  we  must  look  before 
we  leap  into  that  bottomless  gulf:  the  first  point  to  be  settled  is  to 
ascertain  the  death  of  a  young  woman  who  obtained  the  refusal 
before  you,  and  made  me  supremely  happy  for  no  other  purpose 
but  to  anticipate  the  pnrgatory  of  an  intermediate  state  in  the 
present.'  'All  a  mere  sham,  a  put-ofi'I'  answered  Cataliua:  'you 
swear  you  are  married  only  by  way  of  throwing  a  genteel  veil  over 
your  abhorrence  of  my  person  and  manners.'  In  vain  did  I  call  all 
the  powers  to  witness  that  what  I  said  was  solemnly  true :  my  sin- 
cere avowal  was  considered  as  a  mere  copy  of  my  countenance ;  the 
lady  was  grievously  offended,  and  changed  her  whole  behavior  in 
regard  to  me.  There  was  no  downright  quarrel ;  but  our  tender 
intercourse  became  visibly  more  rigid  and  unaccommodating,  so  that 
nothing  further  took  place  between  us  but  cold  formality  and  com- 
monplace attentions. 

"  Just  at  the  nick  of  time,  I  heard  that  Signor  Gil  Bias  de  San- 
tillane,  secretary  to  the  prime  minister  of  the  Spanish  monarchy, 
wanted  a  servant ;  and  the  situation  was  the  more  flattering,  as  it 
bore  the  bell  among  all  the  vacancies  of  the  court  register  office. 
Signor  de  Santillane,  they  told  me,  was  one  of  the  first  men,  high 
in  favor  with  the  Duke  of  Lerma,  and  consequently  in  the  direct 
road  to  fortune  ;  his  heart,  too,  was  cast  in  the  mould  of  generosity ; 
by  doing  his  business,  you  most  assuredly  did  your  own.  The 
opportunity  was  too  good  to  be  neglected  :  I  went  and  offered  my- 
self to  Signor  Gil  Bias,  to  whom  I  felt  my  heart  grow  from  the  first; 
for  my  sentiments  were  fixed  by  the  turn  of  his  physiognomy. 
There  could  be  no  question  about  leaving  the  royal  and  most  cath- 
olic nurse  for  him ;  and  it  is  to  be  hoped  I  shall  never  have  any 
other  master." 

Here  ended  Scipio's  story.  But  he  continued  speaking,  and  ad- 
dressed himself  to  me.  "  Signor  de  Santillane,  do  me  the  favor 
to  assure  these  ladies  that  you  have  always  known  me  for  a 
faithful  and  zealous  servant.  Your  testimony  will  stand  me  in 
good  stead,  and  vouch  for  a  sincere  reformation  in  the  son  of  Cos- 
clina." 

"  Yes,  ladies,"  said  I,  "  it  is  even  so.  Though  Scipio  in  his  child- 
hood was  a  very  scapegrace,  he  has  been  born  anew,  and  is  now  the 
exact  model  of  a  trusty  domestic.  Far  from  having  any  complaints 
to  make  against  him,  my  debt  is  infinite.  On  the  fatal  night  when 
I  wsis  carried  off  to  the  tower  of  Segovia,  he  saved  my  effects  from 
38 


594 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


pillage,  and  refunded  what  he  might  have  taken  to  himself  with 
impunity :  not  contented  with  rescuing  my  worldly  pelf,  he  came 
out  of  pure  friendship  and  shut  himself  up  with  me  in  my  prison, 
preferring  the  melancholy  sympathies  of  adverse  fortune  to  all  the 
charms  of  lusty,  buoyant  liberty." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  595 


BOOK   XL 


CHAPTEE  I. 

CONTAINING  THE  SUBJECT  OF  THE  GREATEST  JOY  THAT  GIX  BLAS  EVER 
FELT,  FOLLOWED  BY  THE  MOST  MELANCHOLY  EVENT  OF  HIS  LIFE. 

I  HAVE  observed  already  that  Antonia  and  Beatrice  understood 
one  another  perfectly  well,  the  latter  falling^  meekly  and  mod- 
estly into  the  trammels  of  a  humble  attendant  on  her  lady,  and  the 
former  taking  very  kindly  to  the  rank  of  a  mistress  and  superior. 
Scipio  and  myself  were  husbands  too  rich  in  nature's  gifts  and  in 
the  affections  of  our  spouses  not  very  soon  to  have  the  satisfaction 
of  becoming  fathers  :  our  wives  were  as  women  wish  to  be  who  love 
their  lords,  almost  at  the  same  moment.  Beatrice's  time  was  up 
first:  she  was  safely  delivered  of  a  daughter;  and  in  a  few  days 
afterwards  Antonia  completed  the  general  joy  by  presenting  me 
with  a  son.  I  sent  my  secretary  to  Valencia  with  the  welcome 
tidings:  the  governor  came  to  Lirias  with  Seraphina  and  the 
Marchioness  de  Pliego,  to  be  present  at  the  baptismal  ceremony; 
for  he  made  it  his  pleasure  to  add  this  testimony  of  affection  to  all 
his  former  kindnesses.  As  that  nobleman  stood  godfather  and  the 
marchioness  godmother  to  my  son,  he  was  named  Alphonso ;  and 
the  governor's  lady,  wishing  to  draw  the  bonds  of  sponsorship  still 
closer  in  this  friendly  party,  stood  for  Scipio's  daughter,  to  whom 
we  gave  the  name  of  Seraphina. 

The  rejoicings  at  th6  birth  of  my  son  were  not  confined  to  the 
mansion-house :  the  villagers  of  Lirias  celebrated  the  event  by  fes- 
tivities, which  were  meant  as  a  grateful  token,  to  prove  how  much 
the  little  neighborhood  partook  in  all  the  satisfactions  of  their  land- 
lord. But,  alas !  our  carousals  were  of  short  continuance ;  or,  to 
speak  more  suitably  to  the  subject,  they  were  turned  into  weeping, 
wailing,  and  lamentation,  by  a  catastrophe  which  more  than  twenty 
years  have  not  been  sufficient  to  blot  from  my  memory ;  nor  will 
future  time,  however  distant,  make  me  think  of  it  but  with  the 
bitterest  retrospect.  My  son  died;  and  his  mother,  though  per- 
fectly recovered  from  her  confinement,  very  soon  followed  him :  a 
violent  fever  carried  off  my  dear  wife  after  we  had  been  married 
fourteen  months.  Let  the  reader  conceive,  if  he  is  equal  to  the 
task,  the  grief  with  which  I  was  overwhelmed :  I  fell  into  a  stupid 
insensibility,  and  felt  my  loss  so  severely  as  to  seem  not  to  feel  it 


596  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

at  all.  I  remained  in  this  condition  for  five  or  six  days,  in  an 
obstinate  determination  to  take  no  nourishment;  and  I  verily  be- 
lieve that,  had  it  not  been  for  Scipio,  I  should  either  have  starved 
myself,  or  my  heart  would  have  burst;  but  my  secretary,  well 
knowing  how  to  accommodate  himself  to  the  turnings  and  windings 
of  the  human  heart,  contrived  to  cheat  my  sorrows  by  falling  iu 
with  their  tone  and  tenor:  he  was  artful  enough  to  reconcile  me  to 
the  duty  of  taking  food,  by  serving  up  soups  and  lighter  fare  with 
80  disconsolate  an  arrangement  of  features  that  it  looked  as  if  he 
urged  me  to  the  revolting  employment,  not  so  much  to  preserve  my 
life  as  to  perpetuate  and  render  immortal  my  affliction. 

This  affectionate  servant  wrote  to  Don  Alphonso  to  let  him  know 
of  the  misfortune  which  had  happened  to  me,  and  my  lamentable 
condition  in  consequence.  That  tender-hearted  and  compassionate 
nobleman,  that  generous  friend,  very  soon  repaired  to  Lirias.  I 
cannot  recall  the  moment  when  he  first  presented  himself  to  my 
view,  without  even  now  being  sensibly  affected.  "  My  dear  Santil- 
lane,"  said  he,  embracing  me,  "  I  am  not  come  to  offer  you  imperti- 
nent consolation,  but  to  weep  over  Antonia  with  you,  as  you  would 
have  wept  with  me  over  Seraphina,  had  the  hand  of  death  snatched 
her  from  me."  In  good  truth,  his  tears  bore  testimony  to  his  sin- 
cerity, and  his  sighs  were  blended  with  mine  in  the  most  friendly 
sympathy.  Though  overwhelmed  with  my  affliction,  I  felt  in  the 
most  lively  manner  the  kindness  of  Don  Alphonso. 

The  governor  had  a  long  conversation  with  Scipio  respecting  the 
measures  to  be  taken  for  overcoming  my  despair.  They  judged  it 
best  to  remove  me  tor  some  ijme  from  Lirias,  where  every  object 
incessantly  brought  back  to  my  mind  the  image  of  Antonia.  On 
this  account  the  son  of  Don  Caesar  proposed  carrying  me  back  with 
him  to  Valencia ;  and  my  secretary  seconded  the  plan  with  so  many 
unanswerable  arguments  that  I  made  no  further  opposition.  I  left 
Scipio  and  his  wife  on  my  estate,  where  my  longer  stay  could  have 
produced  no  other  effect  than  that  of  aggravating  and  enhancing  all 
my  sorrows,  and  took  my  own  departure  with  the  governor.  On 
my  arrival  at  Valencia,  Don  Csesar  and  his  daughter-in-law  spared 
no  exertions  to  divert  my  sorrows  from  perpetual  brooding;  they 
plied  me  alternately  with  every  sort  of  amusement,  the  most  proper 
to  turn  the  current  of  my  thoughts  to  passing  objects ;  but,  in  spite 
of  all  their  pains,  I  remained  plunged  in  melancholy,  whence  they 
were  incompetent  to  draw  me  out.  Nor  was  it  for  want  of  Scipio's 
kind  attentions  that  my  peace  of  mind  was  still  so  hopeless :  he  was 
continually  going  back  and  forth  between  Lirias  and  Valencia  to 
inquire  after  me;  and  his  journey  home  was  cheerful  or  gloomy  in 
proportion  as  he  found  more  or  less  disposition  in  me  to  listen  t« 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  597 

the  words  of  comfort,  and  to  reward  the  affectionate  solicitude  of 
my  friends. 

He  came  one  morning  into  my  room.  "Sir,"  said  he,  with  a 
great  deal  of  agitation  in  his  manner,  "  a  report  is  current  about 
town,  in  which  the  whole  monarchy  is  deeply  interested :  it  is  said 
that  Philip  the  Third  has  departed  this  life,  and  that  the  prince,  his 
son,  is  actually  seated  on  the  throne.  To  this  it  is  added  that  the 
cardinal  Duke  of  Lerma  has  lost  the  premiership,  that  he  is  even 
forbidden  to  appear  at  court,  and  that  Don  Gaspard  de  Guzman, 
Count  of  Olivarez,  is  actually  at  the  head  of  the  administration,"  I 
felt  a  little  agitated  by  this  sudden  change,  without  knowing  why. 
Scipio  caught  at  this  manifestation,  and  asked  whether  the  veering 
of  the  wind  in  the  political  horizon  might  not  blow  me  some  good. 
"How  is  that  possible?  What  good  can  it  blow  me,  my  worthy 
friend?"  answered  I.  "The  court  and  I  have  shaken  hands  once 
for  all :  the  revolutions  which  may  take  place  there  are  all  alike 
indifferent  to  me." 

"  For  a  man  at  your  time  of  life,"  replied  that  cunning  son  of  a 
diviner,  "you  are  uncommonly  mortified  to  all  the  uses  of  this 
world.  Under  your  circumstances  my  curiosity  would  be  all  alive ; 
I  should  go  to  Madrid  and  show  my  face  to  the  young  monarch,  just 
to  see  whether  he  would  recollect  it,  merely  for  the  amusement  of 
the  thing."  "  I  understand  you,"  said  I ;  "  you  would  have  me  re- 
turn to  court  and  try  my  fortune  again,  or  rather  you  would  plunge 
me  back  into  the  gulf  of  avarice  and  ambition."  "  Why  should 
such  baleful  passions  any  more  take  possession  of  your  breast?" 
rejoined  Scipio.  "  Do  not  so  much  play  the  calumniator  on  your 
own  virtue.  I  will  answer  for  your  firmness  to  yourself.  The  sound 
moral  reflections  which  your  disgrace  has  occasioned  you  to  make 
on  the  vanities  of  a  court  life  are  a  sufficient  security  against  all  the 
dangers  to  be  feared  from  that  quarter.  Embark  boldly  once  again 
upon  an  ocean  where  you  are  acquainted  with  every  shoal  and  rock 
in  the  dangerous  navigation."  "  Hold  your  tongue,  you  flatterer," 
said  I  with  a  smile  of  no  very  positive  discouragement ;  "  are  you 
weary  of  seeing  me  lead  a  retired  and  tranquil  life  ?  I  thought  my 
repose  had  been  more  dear  to  you." 

Just  at  this  period  of  our  conversation,  Don  Csesar  and  his  son 
came  in.  They  confirmed  the  news  of  the  king's  death,  as  well  as 
the  Duke  of  Lerma's  misfortune.  It  appeared,  moreover,  that  this 
minister,  having  requested  permission  to  retire  to  Rome,  had  not 
been  able  to  obtain  it,  but  was  ordered  to  confine  himself  to  his 
marquisate  at  Denia.  On  this,  as  if  they  had  been  in  league  with 
my  secretary,  they  advised  me  to  go  to  Madrid  and  offer  my  con-r 
gratulations  to  the  new  king,  as  one  of  his  former  acquaintance^ 


5yS  ADVEyTiJiES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

with  the  merit  of  having  rendered  him  even  such  services  as  the 
great  are  apt  to  reward  more  willingly  than  some  which  are  per- 
formed with  cleaner  hands.  "  For  my  part,"  said  Don  Alphonso, 
"  I  have  uo  doubt  but  they  will  be  liberally  acknowledged  ;  Philip 
the  Fourth  is  bound  in  honor  to  pay  the  Prince  of  Spain's  debts." 
"  I  consider  the  affair  just  in  the  same  light  as  you  do,"  said  Don 
Caesar,  "and  Santillane's  visit  to  court  will  doubtless  prove  the  occa- 
sion of  his  arriving  at  the  very  first  employments." 

"  In  good  truth,  my  noble  friends,"  exclaimed  I,  "  you  do  not 
consider  what  you  are  talking  about.  It  should  seem,  were  one  to 
give  ear  to  the  soothing  words  of  you  both,  as  if  I  had  nothing  to 
do  but  to  show  my  face  at  Madrid,  and  receive  the  key  of  office,  or 
some  foreign  government,  for  ray  pains ;  but  you  are  egregiously 
mistaken.  I  am,  on  the  contrary,  well  persuaded  that  the  king 
would  pass  me  over  as  a  stranger  were  I  to  throw  myself  in  his  way. 
I  will  make  the  experiment  if  you  wish  it,  merely  for  the  sake  of 
undeceiving  you."  The  lords  of  Ley  va  took  me  at  my  word,  so  that 
I  could  not  help  promising  them  to  set  out  without  loss  of  time  for 
Madrid.  No  sooner  did  my  secretary  perceive  my  mind  fully  made 
up  to  the  prosecution  of  this  journey  than  his  ecstasies  were  wound 
up  to  the  highest  pitch  ;  he  was  satisfied  within  himself  that  if  I  did 
but  present  my  excellent  person  before  the  new  monarch,  he  would 
immediately  single  me  out  from  the  crowd  of  political  candidates, 
and  weigh  me  down  under  a  load  of  dignities  and  emoluments.  On 
the  strength  of  these  conjectures,  puffing  himself  out  and  amusing 
his  fancy  with  the  most  splendid  extravagances  of  device,  he  raised 
me  up  to  the  first  office  of  the  state,  and  pushed  forward  his  own 
preferment  in  the  path  of  my  exaltation. 

I  therefore  made  my  arrangements  for  returning  to  court,,  without 
the  most  distant  intention  of  again  sacrificing  at  the  shrine  of  for- 
tune, but  merely  to  convince  Don  Caesar  and  his  son  of  their  error 
in  imagining  that  I  was  at  all  likely  to  ingratiate  myself  with  the 
sovereign.  It  is  true  that  there  was  some  little  lurking  vanity  at 
the  bottom  of  all  my  philosophy,  sprouting  up  in  the  shape  of  a 
desire  to  ascertain  whether  my  royal  master  would  throw  away  a 
thought  on  me  now  in  the  spring-time  of  his  new  and  blushing 
honors.  Led  into  that  course  solely  by  that  tempter  curiosity, 
without  a  dream  of  hope,  or  any  practical  contrivance  for  turning 
the  new  reign  to  my  own  individual  advantage,  I  set  out  for  Madrid 
with  Scipio,  consigning  the  management  of  my  household  to  Bea- 
trice, who  was  well  skilled  in  all  the  arts  of  domestic  economy. 


ADVENT  CUES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  599 


CHAPTER   II. 

GIL  BLAS    ABEIVES    IN    MADRID.      HE  APPEARS  AT    COURT.      THE   KING 
RECOMMENDS  HIM  TO  THE  NOTICE  OP  HIS    PRIME  MINISTER. 

WE  got  to  Madrid  in  less  than  eight  days,  Don  Alphonso  hav- 
ing given  US  two  of  his  best  horses,  that  we  might  lose  no 
time  on  the  road.  We  alighted  at  a  ready-furnished  lodging,  where 
I  had  lived  formerly,  kept  by  Vincent  Ferrero,  my  old  landlord, 
who  was  uncommonly  glad  to  see  me  again. 

As  this  man  prided  himself  on  being  in  the  secret  of  whatever 
was  going  forward  either  in  court  or  city,  I  asked  him  after  the  best 
news.  "  There  is  plenty  of  it,  whether  best  or  worst,"  answered  he. 
"Since  the  death  of  Philip  the  Third,  the  friends  and  partisans  of  the 
cardinal  Duke  of  Lerma  have  been  moving  heaven  and  earth  to 
support  his  eminence  on  the  pinnacle  of  ministerial  authority ;  but 
their  efforts  have  been  ineffectual.  The  Count  of  Olivarez  has  cai:- 
ried  the  day,  in  spite  of  all  their  industry.  It  is  alleged  that  Spain 
will  be  no  loser  by  the  exchange,  and  that  the  present  premier  is 
possessed  of  a  genius  so  extensive,  a  mind  so  capacious,  that  he 
would  be  competent  to  wield  the  machine  of  universal  government. 
New  brooms,  they  say,  sweep  clean.  But,  at  all  events,  you  may 
take  this  for  certain,  that  the  public  is  fully  impressed  with  a  very 
favorable  opinion  of  his  capacity ;  we  shall  see  by-and-by  whether 
the  Duke  of  Lerma's  situation  is  well  or  ill  filled  up.'  Ferrero,  hav- 
ing got  his  tongue  into  the  right  train  for  wagging,  gave  me  all  the 
particulars  of  all  the  changes  which  had  taken  place  at  court 
since  the  Count  of  Olivarez  had  taken  his  seat  at  the  helm  of  the 
state  vessel. 

Two  days  after  my  arrival  at  Madrid  I  repaired  to  the  royal 
palace,  after  my  dinner,  and  threw  myself  in  the  king's  way  as  he 
was  crossing  the  lobby  to  his  closet;  but  his  notice  was  not  at  all 
attracted  by  my  appearance.  Next  day  I  returned  to  the  same 
place,  but  with  no  better  success.  On  the  third  day  he  looked  me 
full  in  the  face  as  he  passed  by ;  but  the  stare  was  perfectly  vacant, 
as  far  as  my  interest  or  my  vanity  was  concerned.  This  being  the 
case,  I  resolved  in  my  own  mind  what  was  proper  to  be  done.  "You 
see,"  said  I  to  Scipio,  who  accompanied  me,  "that  the  king  is 
grown  out  of  my  recollection ;  or  if  his  memory  is  not  become 
more  frail  with  the  elevation  of  his  circumstances,  he  has  some  pri- 
vate reasons  for  not  choosing  to  renew  the  acquaintance.  I  think 
we  cannot  do  better  than  make  our  way  back  as  fast  as  possible  for 
Valencia."    "Let  us  not  be  in  too  great  a  hurry  for  that,  sir," 


600  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

answered  my  secrctarj' ;  "you  know  better  than  myself,  having 
served  a  long  appreiiticeHhip,  that  there  is  no  getting  on  at  court 
without  patience  and  perseverance.  Be  indefatigable  in  exhibiting 
your  person  to  the  prince's  regards  :  by  dint  of  forcing  yourself  on 
his  observation,  you  will  oblige  him  to  ask  himself  the  question  who 
this  assiduous  frequenter  of  his  haunts  can  possibly  be,  when  mera- 
(>ry  must  come  to  his  aid,  and  trace  the  features  of  his  cheapener  in 
the  purchase  of  the  lovely  Catalina's  good  graces." 

That  Scipio  might  have  nothing  to  reproach  me  with,  I  so  far 
lent  myself  to  his  wishes  as  to  continue  the  same  proceeding  for  the 
space  of  three  weeks ;  when  at  length  it  happened  one  day  that  the 
monarch,  noticing  the  frequency  of  my  appearance,  sent  for  me  into 
his  presence.  I  went  into  the  closet,  not  without  some  perturbation 
of  mind  at  the  idea  of  a  private  interview  with  my  sovereign,  "  Who 
are  you?"  said  he;  " your  features  are  not  altogether  strange  to  me. 
Where  have  I  seen  you?"  "Please  your  majesty,"  answered  I, 
trembling, "  I  had  the  honor  of  escorting  you  one  night  with  the 
Count  of  Lemos  to  the  house  of"  ..."  Ah !  I  recollect  it  per- 
fectly," cried  the  prince,  as  jf  a  sudden  light  had  broke  in  upon  him; 
"  you  were  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  secretary ;  and  if  I  am  not  mistaken, 
your  name  is  Santillane.  I  have  not  forgotten  that  on  the  occasion 
alluded  to  you  served  me  with  a  most  commendable  zeal,  but  re- 
ceived a  left-handed  recompense  for  your  exertions.  Did  you  not 
get  into  prison  at  the  conclusion  of  the  adventure  ?"  "  Yes,  please 
your  majesty,"  replied  I ;  "  my  confinement  in  the  tower  of  Segovia 
lasted  six  months ;  but  your  goodness  was  exercised  in  procuring 
my  release."  "  That,"  replied  he,  "  does  not  cancel  my  debt  to 
my  faithful  servant  Santillane :  it  is  not  enough  to  have  restored 
him  to  liberty ;  for  I  ought  to  make  him  ample  amends  for  the 
evils  which  he  has  suffered  on  the  score  of  his  alacrity  in  my 
concerns." 

Just  as  the  prince  was  uttering  these  words,  the  Count  of  Olivarez 
came  into  the  closet.  The  nerves  of  favorites  are  shaken  by  every 
breath,  their  irritability  excited  by  every  trifle;  he  was  as  much 
astonished  as  any  favorite  need  be  at  the  sight  of  a  stranger  in  that 
place,  and  the  king  redoubled  his  wondering  propensities  by  the  fol- 
lowing recommendation  :  "  Count,  I  consign  this  young  man  to  your 
care ;  employ  him,  and  let  me  find  that  you  provide  for  his  advance- 
ment." The  minister  affected  to  receive  this  order  with  the  most 
gracious  acquiescence,  but  looked  me  over  from  head  to  foot,  with  a 
glance  from  the  corner  of  his  eye,  and  was  on  tenter-hooks  to  find 
out  who  had  been  so  strangely  saddled  upon  him.  "  Go,  my  friend," 
added  the  sovereign,  addressing  himself  to  me,  and  waving  his  hand 
for  me  to  withdraw ;  "  the  count  will  not  fail  to  avail  himself  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  601 

your  services  in  a  manner  the  most  conducive  to  the  interests  of  my 
government  and  the  establishment  of  your  own  fortunes." 

I  immediately  went  out  of  the  closet,  and  made  the  best  of  my 
way  to  the  son  of  Cosclina,  who,  being  overrun  with  impatience  to 
inquire  what  the  liing  had  been  talking  about,  fumbled  at  his 
fingers'  ends,  and  was  all  over  in  an  agitation.  His  first  question 
was  whether  we  were  to  return  to  Valencia  or  become  a  part  of  the 
jourt.  "  You  shall  form  your  own  conclusions,"  answered  I,  at  the 
same  time  delighting  him  with  an  account,  word  for  word,  of  the 
little  conversation  I  had  just  held  with  the  monarch.  "My  dear 
master,"  said  Scipio,  at  once,  in  the  excess  of  his  joy,  "  will  you  take 
me  for  your  almanac-maker  another  time  ?  You  must  acknowledge 
that  we  were  not  in  the  wrong :  the  lords  of  Leyva  and  myself  have 
our  eye-teeth  about  us  '  A  journey  to  Madrid  was  the  only  measure 
to  be  adopted  in  such  a  case.  Already  I  anticipate  your  appoint- 
ment to  an  eminent  post :  you  will  turn  out  to  be  sometime  or  other 
a  Calderona  to  the  Count  of  Olivarez."  "  That  is  by  no  means  the 
object  of  my  ambition,"  observed  I,  in  return  ;  "  the  employment  is 
placed  on  too  rugged  an  eminence  to  excite  any  longings  in  my  mind. 
I  could  wish  for  a  good  situation,  where  there  could  be  no  induce- 
ment to  do  what  might  go  against  my  conscience,  and  where  the 
favors  of  my  prince  are  not  likely  to  be  bartered  away  for  filthy  lucre. 
Having  experienced  my  own  unfitness  for  the  possession  of  patron- 
age, I  cannot  be  sufficiently  on  my  guard  against  the  inroads  of 
avarice  and  ambition."  "  Never  think  about  that,  sir,"  replied  my 
secretary ;  "  the  minister  will  give  you  some  handsome  appointment, 
which  you  may  fill  without  any  impeachment  of  your  integrity  or 
independence." 

Induced  more  by  Scipio's  importunity  than  my  own  curiosity, 
I  repaired  the  following  day,  before  sunrise,  to  the  residence  of 
the  Count  d'Olivarez,  having  been  informed  that  every  morning, 
whether  in  summer  or  winter,  he  gave  audience  by  candlelight  to 
all  comers.  I  ensconced  myself  modestly  in  a  corner  of  the  saloon, 
and  from  my  lurking-place  took  especial  notice  of  the  count  when 
he  made  his  appearance,  for  I  had  marked  his  person  but  cursorily 
in  the  king's  closet.  He  was  above  the  middle  stature,  and  might 
pass  for  fat  in  a  country  where  it  is  a  rarity  to  see  any  but  lean 
subjects.  His  shoulders  were  so  high  as  to  look  exactly  as  if  he 
was  humpbacked  ;  but  appearances  were  slanderous  ;  for  his  blade- 
bones,  though  inelegant,  were  a  pair;  his  head,  which  was  large 
enough  to  be  capacious,  dropped  down  upon  his  chest  by  the  un- 
wieldiness  of  its  own  weight;  his  hair  was  black  and  unconscious  of 
a  curl,  his  face  lengthened,  his  complexion  olive-colored,  his  mouth 
retiring  inwards,  with  the  sharp-pointed,  turn-up  chin  of  a  pantaloon. 


602  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

This  whole  arrangement  of  structure  and  symmetry  did  not 
exactly  make  up  the  complete  model  of  a  nobleman  according  to 
the  ideas  of  ancient  art ;  nevertheless,  as  I  believed  him  to  be  in  a 
temper  of  mind  favorable  to  the  gratification  of  my  wishes,  I  looked 
at  his  defects  with  an  indulgent  eye,  and  found  him  a  man  very 
much  to  my  satisfaction.  One  of  the  best  points  about  him  was, 
that  he  received  the  public  at  large  with  the  utmost  affability  and 
complacency,  holding  out  his  hand  for  petitions  with  as  much  good 
humor  as  if  he  were  the  person  to  be  obliged ;  and  this  was  a  suffi- 
cient set-off"  against  anything  untoward  in  the  expression  of  his 
countenance.  In  the  meantime,  when,  in  my  turn,  I  came  forward 
to  pay  my  respects  and  make  myself  known  to  him,  he  darted  at 
me  a  glance  of  rude  dislike  and  frightful  menace ;  then,  turning 
his  back,  without  condescending  to  give  me  audience,  retired  into 
his  closet.  Then  it  was  that  the  ugliness  of  this  nobleman's 
features  appeared  in  all  the  extravagance  of  caricature,  so  that  I 
made  the  best  of  my  way  out  of  the  saloon,  thunderstruck  at  so 
savage  a  reception,  and  quite  at  a  loss  how  to  conjecture  what  might 
be  the  occasion. 

Having  got  back  to  Scipio,  who  was  waiting  for  me  at  the  door, 
"  Can  you  guess  at  all,"  said  I,  "  what  sort  of  a  greeting  mine  was  ?" 
"  No,"  answered  he,  "  not  as  to  the  minute  particulars ;  but  with 
respect  to  the  substance,  easily  enough :  the  minister,  ready  upon 
all  occasions  to  fall  in  with  the  fancies  of  his  royal  master,  must  of 
course  have  made  you  a  handsome  offer  of  an  ostensible  and  lucra- 
tive situation."  "  That  is  all  you  know  about  the  matter,"  replied 
I,  and  then  went  on  to  acquaint  him  circumstantially  with  all  that 
passed.  He  listened  to  me  with  serious  attention,  and  then  said, 
"The  count  could  not  have  recollected  your  person;  or  rather,  he 
must  have  been  deceived  by  a  fortuitous  resemblance  between  you 
and  some  impertinent  suitor.  I  would  advise  you  to  try  another 
interview ;  I  will  lay  a  wager  he  will  look  on  you  more  kindly." 
I  adopted  my  secretary's  suggestion,  and  stood  for  the  second  time  in 
the  presence  of  the  minister ;  but  he,  behaving  to  me  still  worse  than 
at  first,  puckered  up  his  features  the  moment  my  unlucky  coun- 
tenance came  within  his  ken,  just  as  if  it  was  connected  with  some 
lodged  hate  and  certain  loathing,  which  of  force  swayed  him  to 
offend,  himself  being  offended;  after  this  significant  demonstration, 
he  turned  away  his  glaring  eyeballs,  and  withdrew  without  uttering 
a  word, 

I  was  stung  to  the  quick  by  so  hostile  a  treatment,  and  in  a 
humor  to  set  out  immediately  on  my  return  to  Valencia ;  but  to 
that  project  Scipio  uniformly  opposed  his  steady  objections,  not 
knowing  how  for  the  life  of  him  to  part  with  those  flattering  hopes 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  603 

which  fancy  had  engendered  in  his  brain.  "Do  you  not  see 
plainly,"  said  I,  "that  the  count,  wishes  to  drive  me  away  from 
court  ?  The  monarch  has  testified  in  his  presence  some  sort  of  favor- 
able intention  towards  me,  and  is  not  that  enough  to  draw  down 
upon'  me  the  thorough  hate  of  the  monarch's  favorite?  Let  us 
drive  before  the  wind,  my  good  comrade;  let  us  make  up  our  minds 
to  put  quietly  into  port,  and  leave  the  open  sea  and  the  honors  of 
the  flag  in  the  possession  of  an  enemy  with  whom  we  are  too  feeble 
to  contend."  "  Sir,"  answered  he,  in  high  resentment  against  the 
Count  of  Olivarez,  "  I  would  not  strike  so  easily.  I  would  go  and 
complain  to  the  king  of  the  contempt  in  which  his  minister  held 
his  recommendation."  "  Bad  advice,  indeed,  my  friend,"  said  I ; 
"  to  take  so  imprudent  a  step  as  that  would  soon  bring  bitter  repent- 
ance in  the  train  of  its  consequences.  I  do  not  even  know  whether 
it  is  safe  for  me  to  remain  any  longer  in  this  town." 

At  this  hint,  my  secretary  communed  a  little  with  his  own 
thoughts  ;  and,  considering  that  in  point  of  fact  we  bad  to  do  with 
a  man  who  kept  the  key  of  the  tower  of  Segovia  in  his  pocket,  my 
fears  became  naturalized  in  his  breast.  He  no  longer  opposed  my 
earnest  desire  of  leaving  Madrid,  and  I  determined  to  take  my 
measures  accordingly  on  the  very  next  day. 


CHAPTER  III.. 

THE  PROJECT  OF  KETIREMENT  IS  PREVENTED.     JOSEPH  NAVAERO 
BROUGHT  UPON  THE  STAGE  AGAIN. 

ON  my  way  home  to  my  lodgings  I  met  Joseph  Navarro,  whom 
the  reader  will  recollect  as  on  the  establishment  of  Don 
Bakhasar  de  Zuniga,  and  one  of  my  old  friends.  I  made  my  bow 
first  at  a  distance,  then  went  up  to  him,  and  asked  whether  he  knew 
me  again,  and  if  he  would  still  be  so  good  as  to  speak  to  a  wretch 
who  had  repaid  his  friendship  with  ingratitude.  "  You  acknowl- 
edge then,"  said  he,  "that  you  have  not  behaved  very  handsomely 
by  me  ?"  "  Yes,"  answered  I ;  "  and  you  are  fully  justified  in  laying 
on  your  reproaches  thick  and  threefold  :  I  deserve  them  all,  unless, 
indeed,  my  guilt  may  be  thought  to  have  been  atoned  by  the 
remorse  of  conscience  attendant  on  it."  "  Since  you  have  repented 
of  your  misconduct,"  replied  Navarro,  embracing  me,  "  I  ought  no 
longer  to  hold  it  in  remembrance."    For  my  part,  I  knew  not  bow 


601  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  DLAS. 

to  hug  Joseph  close  enough  in  my  arms ;  and  we  both  of  us  resumed 
our  original  kind  feelings  towards  one  another. 

He  had  heard  of  my  imprisonment  and  the  derangement  of  my 
affairs  ;  but  of  what  followed  he  was  totally  ignorant.  I  informed 
him  of  it;  relating,  word  for  word,  my  conversation  with  the  king, 
without  suppressing  the  minister's  late  ungracious  reception  of  me, 
any  more  than  my  present  purpose  of  retiring  into  my  favorite 
obscurity.  "  Beware  of  removing  from  the  scene  of  action,"  said 
be,  "since  the  sovereign  has  shown  a  disposition  to  befriend  you: 
there  are  always  uses  to  be  made  of  such  a  circumstance.  Between 
ourselves,  the  Count  of  Olivarez  has  something  rather  unaccount- 
able in  his  character:  he  is  a  very  good  sort  of  nobleman,  but  rather 
whimsical  withal ;  sometimes,  as  on  the  present  occasion,  he  acts  in 
a  most  offensive  manner,  and  none  but  himself  can  furnish  a  clue 
to  disentangle  the  intricate  thread  of  his  motives  and  their  results. 
But  however  this  may  be,  or  whatever  reasons  might  have  swayed 
him  to  give  you  bo  scurvy  a  reception,  keep  your  footing  here,  and 
do  not  budge ;  he  will  not  be  able  to  hinder  you  from  thriving  under 
the  royal  shelter  and  protection  :  take  my  word  for  that !  I  will  just 
give  a  hint  upon  the  subject  this  evening  to  Signor  Don  Balthasar 
de  Zuniga,  my  master;  he  is  uncle  to  the  Count  of  Olivarez,  and 
shares  with  him  in  the  toils  and  cares  of  office."  Navarro,  having 
given  me  this  assurance,  inquired  where  I  lived^  and  then  we  parted. 

It  was  not  long  before  we  met  again ;  for  he  came  to  call  on  me 
the  very  next  day.  "Signor  de  Santillane,"  said  he,  "you  are  not 
without  a  protector;  my  master  will  lend  you  his  powerful  support: 
on  the  strength  of  the  good  character  which  I  have  given  your  lord- 
ship, he  has  promised  to  speak  to  his  nephew,  the  Count  of  Olivarez, 
in  your  behalf;  and  I  doubt  not  but  he  will  effectually  prepossess 
him  in  your  favor."  My  friend  Navarro,  not  meaning  to  serve  me 
by  halves,  introduced  me  two  days  afterwards  to  Don  Balthasar, 
who  said,  with  a  gracious  air,  "  Signor  de  Santillane,  your  friend 
Joseph  has  pronounced  your  panegyric  in  terms  which  have  won 
me  over  completely  to  your  interest."  I  made  a  low  obeisance  to 
Signor  de  Zuniga,  and  answered  that  to  the  latest  period  of  my  life 
I  should  entertain  the  most  lively  sense  of  my  obligation  to  Navarro 
for  having  secured  to  me  the  protection  of  a  minister  who  was  con- 
sidered, and  that  for  the  best  reasons  possible,  a.s  the  presiding 
genius,  the  greater  luminary,  or,  as  it  were,  the  eye  and  mind  of  the 
ministerial  council."  Don  Balthasar,  at  this  unexpected  stroke  of 
flattery,  clapped  me  on  the  shoulder  with  an  approving  chuckle,  and 
returned  my  compliment  by  a  more  significant  intimation :  "  You 
may  call  on  the  Count  of  Olivarez  again  to-morrow,  and  then  you 
¥rill  have  more  reason  to  be  pleased  with  him." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  605 

For  the  third  time,  therefore,  did  I  make  my  appearance  before 
the  prime  minister,  who,  picking  me  out  from  among  the  mob  of 
suitors,  cast  upon  me  a  look  conveying  with  it  a  simper  of  welcome, 
from  which  I  ventured  to  draw  a  good  omen.  "  This  is  all  as  it 
should  be,"  said  I  to  myself;  "the  uncle  has  brought  the  nephew  to 
his  proper  bearings."  I  no  longer  anticipated  any  other  than  a 
favorable  reception,  and  my  confidence  was  fully  justified.  The 
count,  after  having  given  audience  to  the  promiscuous  crowd,  took 
me  with  him  into  his  closet,  and  said  with  a  familiar  address,  "My 
friend  Sanfillane,  you  must  excuse  the  little  disquietude  I  have 
occasioned  you  merely  for  my  own  amusement ;  it  was  done  in 
sport,  though  it  was  death  to  you,  for  th§  sole  purpose  of  practicing 
on  your  discretion,  and  observing  to  what  measures  your  disgust  and 
disappointment  would  incite  you.  Doubtless  you  must  have  con-' 
eluded  that  your  services  were  displeasing  to  me ;  but  on  the  con- 
trary, my  good  fellow,  I  must  confess  frankly,  that,  as  far  as  appears 
at  present,  you  are  perfectly  to  my  mind.  Though  the  king,  my 
master,  had  not  enjoined  me  to  take  charge  of  your  fortunes,  I 
should  have  done  so  of  my  own  free  choice.  Besides,  my  uncle, 
Don  Balthasar  de  Zuniga,  to  whom  I  can  refuse  nothing,  has  re- 
quested me  to  consider  you  as  a  man  for  whom  he  particularly  inter- 
ests himself;  that  alone  would  be  enough  to  fix  my  confidence  in 
you,  and  make  me  most  sincerely  your  friend." 

This  outset  of  my  career  produced  so  lively  an  impression  on  my 
feelings  that  they  became  unintelligibly  tumultuous.  I  threw  my- 
self at  the  minister's  feet,  who  insisted  on  my  rising  immediately, 
and  then  went  on  to  the  following  effect:  "Eeturn  hither  to-day 
after  dinner,  and  ask  for  my  steward ;  he  will  acquaint  you  with  the 
orders  which  I  shall  have  given  him."  With  these  words  his  excel- 
lency broke  up  the  conference  to  hear  mass,  according  to  his  con- 
stant custom  every  day  after  giving  audience ;  he  then  attended  the 
king's  levee. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

GIL  BLAS  INGRATIATES  HIMSELF  WITH  THE  COUNT  OF  OLIVAKEZ. 

I  DID  not  fail  returning  after  dinner  to  the  prime  minister'a 
house,  and  asking  for  his  steward,  whose  name  was  Don  Bay* 
mond  Caporis.  No  sooner  had  I  made  myself  known  than,  paying 
his  civilities  to  me  in  the  most  respectful  manner,  "  Sir,"  said  he. 


606  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

"  follow  me,  if  you  please ;  I  am  to  do  myself  the  honor  of  showing 
you  the  way  to  the  apartment  which  is  ordered  for  you  in  this 
family."  Having  spoken  thus,  he  led  me  up  a  narrow  staircase  to 
a  gallery  communicating  with  five  or  six  rooms,  which  composed 
the  second  story  belonging  to  one  wing  of  the  house,  and  were  fur- 
nished neatly,  but  without  ostentation.  "  You  behold,"  resumed 
he,  "  the  lodging  assigned  you  by  his  lordship,  where  you  will  always 
have  a  table  of  six  persons,  kept  at  his  expense.  You  will  be 
waited  on  by  his  own  servants ;  and  there  will  always  be  a  carriage 
at  your  command.  But  that  is  not  all :  his  excellency  insisted  on 
it,  in  the  most  pointed  manner,  that  you  should  be  treated  in  every 
respect  with  the  same  attention  as  if  you  belonged  to  the  house  of 
Guzman." 

"  What  the  devil  is  the  meaning  of  all  this  ?"  said  I  within  myself. 
"  What  construction  ought  I  to  put  upon  all  these  honors  ?  Is  there 
not  some  humorous  prank  at  the  bottom  of  it?  and  must  it  not  be 
more  in  the  way  of  diversion  than  anything  else  that  the  minister 
is  flattering  me  up  with  so  imposing  an  establishment?"  While  I 
was  ruminating  in  this  uncertainty,  fluctuating  between  hope  and 
fear,  a  page  came  to  let  me  know  that  the  count  was  asking  for  me. 
I  waited  instantly  on  his  lordship,  .who  was  quite  alone  in  his  closet. 
"  Well !  Santillane,"  said  he,  "  are  you  satisfied  with  your  rooms,  and 
with  my  orders  to  Don  Raymond?"  "Your  excellency's  liberality," 
answered  I,  "seems  out  of  all  proportion  with  its  object;  so  that  I 
receive  it  with  fear  and  trembling."  "  AVhy  so  ?"  replied  he.  "  Can 
I  be  too  lavish  of  distinction  to  a  man  whom  the  king  has  committed 
to  my  care,  and  for  whose  interests  he  especially  commanded  me  to 
provide  ?  No :  that  is  impossible ;  and  I  do  no  more  than  my  duty 
in  placing  you  on  a  footing  of  respectability  and  consequence.  No 
longer,  therefore,  let  what  I  do  for  you  be  a  subject  of  surprise ;  but 
rely  on  it  that  splendor  in  the  eye  of  the  world,  and  the  solid  ad- 
vantages of  accumulating  wealth,  are  equally  within  your  grasp,  if 
you  do  but  attach  yourself  as  faithfully  to  me  as  you  did  to  the  Duke 
of  Lerma. 

"  But  now  that  we  are  on  the  subject  of  that  nobleman,"  continued 
he,  "  it  is  said  that  you  lived  on  terms  of  personal  intimacy  with 
him.  I  have  a  strong  curiosity  to  learn  the  circumstances  which  led 
to  your  first  acquaintance,  as  well  as  in  what  department  you  acted 
under  him.  Do  not  disguise  or  gloss  over  the  slightest  particular, 
for  I  shall  not  be  satisfied  without  a  full,  true,  and  circumstantial 
recital."  Then  it  was  that  I  recollected  in  what  an  embarrassing 
predicament  I  stood  with  the  Duke  of  Lerma  on  a  similar  occasion, 
and  by  what  line  of  conduct  I  extricated  myself:  that  same  course  I 
adopted  once  again  with  the  happiest  success ;  whereby  the  reader 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  607 

is  to  understand  tliat  throughout  my  narrative  I  softened  down  the 
passages  likely  to  give  umbrage  to  my  patron,  and  glanced  with  a 
superficial  delicacy  over  transactions  which  would  have  reflected 
but  little  lustre  on  my  own  character.  I  likewise  manifested  a  con- 
siderate tenderness  for  the  Duke  of  Lerma ;  though,  by  giving  that 
fallen  favorite  no  quarter,  I  should  better  have  consulted  the  taste  of 
him  whom  I  wished  to  please.  As  for  Don  Rodrigo  de  Calderoua, 
there  I  laid  about  me  with  the  religious  fury  of  a  bishop  in  a  battle. 
I  brought  together,  and  displayed  in  the  most  glaring  colors,  all  the 
anecdotes  I  had  been  able  to  pick  up  respecting  his  corrupt  prac- 
tices-and  underhand  dealing  in  the  sale  of  promotions,  military,  ec- 
clesiastical and  civil. 

"What  you  have  told  me  about  Caldciona,"  cried  the  minister 
with  eagerness,  "  exactly  squares  with  certain  memorials  which  have 
been  presented  to  me,  containing  the  heads  of  charges  still  more 
seriously  a^ecting  his  character.  He  will  very  soon  be  put  upon  his 
trial,  and  if  you  have  any  wish  to  glut  your  revenge  by  his  ruin,  I 
am  of  opinion  that  the  object  of  your  desire  is  near  at  hand."  "  I 
am  far  from  thirsting  after  his  blood,"  said  I,  "  though  had  it  de- 
pended on  him,  mine  might  have  been  shed  in  the  tower  of  Segovia, 
where  he  was  the  occasion  of  my  taking  lodgings  for  a  pretty  long 
term."  "Whatl"  inquired  his  excellency,  "was  it  Don  Rodrigo 
who  procured  you  that  sudden  journey  ?  This  is  a  part  of  the  story 
of  which  I  was  not  aware  before.  Don  Balthasar,  to  whom  Navarro 
gave  a  summary  of  your  adventures,  told  me,  indeed,  that  the  late 
king  gave  orders  for  your  commitment,  as  a  mark  of  his  indignation 
against  you  for  having  led  the  Prince  of  Spain  astray,  and  taken 
him  to  a  house  of  suspicious  character  in  the  night ;  but  that  is  all 
I  know  of  the  matter,  and  cannot,  for  the  life  of  me,  conjecture  what 
part  Calderona  could  possibly  have  had  to  play  in  that  tragi- 
comedy." "  A  principal  part,  whether  on  the  stage  or  in  real  life," 
answered  I ;  "  that  of  a  jealous  lover,  taking  vengeance  for  an  injury 
sustained  in  the  tenderest  point."  At  the  same  time  I  related 
minutely  all  the  facts  with  which  the  reader  is  already  acquainted, 
and  touched  hia  risible  propensities,  difficult  as  they  were  of  acoess, 
so  exactly  in  the  right  place,  that  he  oould  not  help  wagging  his 
under-jaw  in  a  paroxysm  of  humor-stricken  Ipcstasy,  and  laughing 
till  he  cried  again.  Catalina's  double  cast  in  the  drama  delighted 
him  exceedingly ;  her  sometimes  playing  the  niece  and  sometimes 
personating  the  granddaughter  seemed  to  tickle  his  fancy  more  than 
anything;  nor  was  he  altogether  inattentive  to  the  appearance 
which  the  Duke  of  Lerma  made  in  this  undignified  farce  of  state. 

When  I  had  finished  my  story,  the  count  gave  me  leave  to  depart, 
with  an  assurance  that  on  thfe  next  day  he  would  not  fail  to  make 


608  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

trial  of  my  talents  for  business.  I  ran  immediately  to  the  family 
hotel  of  Zuniga,  to  thank  Don  Balthasar  for  his  good  offices,  and  to 
acquaint  my  friend  Joseph  with  the  favorable  dispositions  of  the 
prime  minister,  and  my  brilliant  prospects  in  consequence. 


CHAPTEE   V. 


THE  PEIVATE  CONVEESATION  OF  GIL  BLAS  WITH  NAVARRO.     HIS  FIRST 
EMPLOYMENT  IN  THE  SERVICE  OF  THE  COUNT  D'OLIVAREZ. 

WITH  much  trepidation  of  spirits,  I  told  Joseph,  as  soon  as  I 
encountered  him,  what  a  world  of  topics  I  had  to  deposit 
in  his  private  ear.  He  took  me  where  we  might  be  alone,  when  J 
asked  him,  after  having  communicated  a  key  to  the  whole  transac- 
tion up  to  the  present  time,  what  he  thought  of  the  business  as  it 
stood.  "  I  think,"  answered  he,  "  that  you  are  in  a  fair  way  to  make 
an  enormous  fortune.  Everything  turns  out  according  to  your 
wishes :  you  have  made  yourself  acceptable  to  the  prime  minister ; 
and  what  must  be  taken  for  something  in  the  account,  I  can  render 
you  the  same  service  as  my  uncle  Melchior  de  Iq,  Ronda,  when  you 
attached  yourself  to  the  archiepiscopal  establishment  of  Granada. 
He  spared  you  the  trouble  of  finding  out  the  weak  side  of  that  pre- 
late and  his  principal  officers,  by  discovering  their  different  charac- 
ters to  you  ;  and  it  is  my  purpose,  after  his  example,  to  bring  you 
perfectly  acquainted  with  the  count,  his  lady  countess,  and  their 
only  daughter.  Donna  Maria  de  Guzman. 

"The  minister's  parts  are  quick,  his  judgment  penetrating,  and 
his  talents  altogether  calculated  for  the  formation  of  extensive  pro- 
jects. He  affects  the  credit  of  universal  genius,  on  the  strength  of 
a  showy  smattering  in  general  science ;  so  that  there  is  no  subject, 
in  his  own  opinion,  too  difficult  to  be  decided  on  his  mere  authority. 
He  sets  himself  up  for  a  practical  lawyer,  a  complete  general,  and  a 
politician  of  thorough-paced  sagacity.  Add  to  all  this,  that  he  is 
so  obstinately  w*edded  to  his  own  opinions  as  unchangeably  to  per- 
severe in  the  path  of  his  own  chalking  out,  to  the  absolute  contempt 
ot  better  advice,  for  fear  of  seeming  to  be  influenced  by  any  good 
sense  or  intelligence  but  what  he  would  be  thought  to  engross  in 
the  resources  of  his  own  mind.  Between  ourselves,  this  blot  in  his 
character  may  produce  strange  consequences,  which  it  may  be  well 
for  the  monarchy  should  indulgent  Heaven  for  the  defect  of  human 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  609 

means  avert !  As  for  his  talents  in  council,  he  shines  in  debate  by 
the  force  of  natural  eloquence,  and  would  write  as  well  as  he  speaks 
if  he  did  not  injudiciously  affect  a  certain  dignity  of  style,  which 
degenerates  into  affectation,  quaintness,  and  obscurity.  His  modes 
of  thinking  are  peculiar  to  himself;  he  is  capricious  in  conduct  and 
visionary  in  design.  Here  you  have  the  picture  of  his  mind,  the 
light  and  shade  of  his  intellectual  merits :  the  qualities  of  his  heart 
and  disposition  remain  to  be  delineated.  He  is  generous  and  warm 
in  his  friendships.  It  is  said  that  he  is  revengeful ;  but  would  he 
be  a  Spaniard  if  he  were  otherwise  ?  In  addition  to  this,  he  has 
been  accused  of  ingratitude,  for  having  driven  the  Duke  of  Uzeda 
and  Friar  Lewis  Aliaga  into  banishment,  though  he  owed  them, 
according  to  common  report,  obligations  of  the  most  binding  nature ; 
and  yet  even  this  must  not  be  looked  into  so  narrowly  under  his 
circumstances :  there  are  few  breasts  capacious  enough  to  afford 
houseroom  for  two  such  opposite  inmates  as  political  ambition  and 
gratitude. 

"  Donna  Agnes  de  Zuniga  6  Velasco,  Countess  of  Olivarez,"  c6n- 
tinued  Joseph,  "  is  a  lady  to  whom  it  is  impossible  to  impute  mor« 
than  one  fault,  but  that  is  a  huge  one ;  for  it  consists  in  making  a 
market,  and  a  market  the  most  exorbitant  in  its  terms,  of  her 
natural  influence  over  the  mind  of  her  husband.  As  for  Donna 
Maria  de  Guzman,  who  beyond  all  dispute  is  at  this  moment  the 
very  first  match  in  Spain,  she  is  a  lady  of  first-rate  accomplish- 
ments, and  absolutely  idolized  by  her  father.  Regulate  your  con- 
duct upon  these  hints :  make  your  court  with  art  and  plausibility 
to  these  two  ladies,  and  let  it  appear  as  if  you  were  more  devoted  to 
the  Count  of  Olivarez  than  ever  you  were  to  the  Duke  of  Lerma 
before  your  forced  excursion  to  Segovia ;  you  will  become  a  leading 
and  powerful  member  of  the  administration. 

"  I  should  advise  you,  moreover,"  added  he,  "  to  see  my  master, 
Don  Balthasar,  from  time  to  time;  for  though  you  have  no  longer 
any  occasion  for  his  interest  to  push  you  forward,  it  will  not  be 
amiss  to  waste  a  little  incense  upon  him.  You  stand  very  high  in 
his  good  opinion;  preserve  your  footing  there,  and  cultivate  his 
friendship ;  it  may  stand  you  in  some  stead  on  any  emergency."  I 
could  not  help  observing  that,  as  the  uncle  and  nephew  were  in  a 
certain  sort  partners  in  the  government  of  the  state,  there  might 
possibly  be  some  little  symptom  of  jealousy  between  brothers  near 
the  throne.  " On  the  contrary,"  answered  he,  "they  are  united  by 
the  most  confidential  ties.  Had  it  not  been  for  Don  Balthasar,  the 
Count  of  Olivarez  might  probably  never  have  been  prime  minister; 
for  you  are  to  know  that  after  Philip  the  Third  had  paid  the  debt 
of  nature,  all  the  adherents  and  partisans  belonging  to  the  house  of 
39 


610  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAH. 

Sandoval  made  a  great  stir,  some  in  favor  of  the  cardinal,  and 
others  on  his  son's  behalf;  but  my  master,  a  greater  adept  in  court 
intrigue  than  any  of  them,  and  the  count,  who  is  nearly  as  great  an 
adept  as  hirasel-f,  disconcerted  all  their  measures,  and  took  their 
own  so  judiciously  for  the  purpose  of  stepping  into  the  vacant  place 
that  their  rivals  had  no  chance  against  them.  The  Count  of  Oliva- 
rez,  being  appointed  prime  minister,  divided  the  duties  with  his 
uncle,  Don  Balthasar;  leaving  foreign  affairs  to  him,  and  taking 
the  home  department  to  himself:  the  consequence  is,  that  the  bonds 
of  family  friendship  are  drawn  closer  between  these  two  noblemen 
than  if  political  influence  had  no  share  in  their  mutual  interests :' 
they  are  perfectly  independent  in  their  respective  lines  of  business, 
and  live  together  on  terms  of  good  understanding  which  no  intrigue 
can  possibly  affect  or  alter." 

Such  was  the  substance  of  my  conversation  with  Joseph,  and  the 
advantage  to  be  derived  from  it  was  my  own  to  make  the  most  of: 
at  all  events,  it  was  my  duty  to  thank  Signor  de  Zuniga  for  all  the 
influence  he  had  the  goodness  to  exert  in  my  favor.  He  assured 
me  with  infinite  good-breeding  that  he  should  avail  himself  of  every 
opportunity  as  it  arose  to  promote  my  wishes,  and  that  he  was  very 
glad  his  nephew  had  behaved  so  as  to  meet  my  ideas,  because  he 
meant  to  refresh  his  memory  in  my  behalf,  being  determined,  as  he 
was  pleased  to  say,  to  place  it  beyond  all  manner  of  doubt  how  far 
he  himself  participated  in  all  my  views,  and  to  make  it  evident 
that,  instead  of  one  fast  friend,  I  had  two.  In  terms  like  these  did 
Don  Balthasar,  through  mere  friendship  for  Navarro,  take  the 
moulding  of  my  fortunes  on  himself. 

On  that  same  evening  did  I  leave  my  paltry  lodging  to  take  up 
my  abode  at  the  prime  minister's,  where  I  sat  down  to  supper  with 
Scipio  in  my  own  suite  of  apartments.  There  were  we  both  waited 
on  by  the  servants  belonging  to  the  household,  who,  as  they  stood 
behind  our  chairs,  while  we  were  affecting  the  pomp  and  circum- 
stance of  political  elevation,  were  more  likely  than  not  to  be  laugh- 
ing in  their  sleeves  at  the  pantomime  they  had  been  ordered  by 
their  manager  to  play  in  our  presence.  When  they  had  taken  away 
and  left  us  to  ourselves,  my  secretary,  being  no  longer  under  re- 
straint, gave  vent  to  a  thousand  wild  imaginations  which  his 
sprightly  temper  and  inventive  hopes  engendered  in  his  fancy.  On 
my  part,  though  by  no  means  cold  or  insensible  to  the  brilliant 
prospects  which  were  opening  on  my  vi.ew,  I  did  not  as  yet  yield 
in  the  least  degree  to  the  weakness  of  being  thrust  aside  from  the 
right  line  of  my  philosophy  by  temporal  allurements.  So  much 
otherwise,  that  on  going  to  bed  I  fell  into  a  sound  sleep,  without 
being  haunted  in  ray  dreams  by  those  phantoms  of  flattering  delu- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  611 

sion  which  might  have  gained  admittance  with  no  severe  question 
from  a  corruptible  door-keeper.  The  ambitious  Scipio,  on  the  con- 
trary, tossed  and  tu-mbled  all  night  in  the  agitation  of  wretched 
contrivance.  Whenever  he  dozed  a  little  imp  took  possession  of 
his  brain,  with  a  pen  behind  its  ear,  working  out  by  all  the  rules 
of  arithmetic  the  bulky  sum  total  of  his  daughter  Seraphina's  mar- 
riage portion. 

No  sooner  had  I  got  my  clothes  on  the  next  morning  than  a 
message  came  from  his  lordship.  I  flew  like  lightning  at  the  sum- 
mons, when  his  excellency  said,  "  Now,  then,  Santillane,  suppose 
you  give  us  a  specimen  of  your  talents  for  business.  You  say  that 
the  Duke  of  Lerma  used  to  give  you  state  papers  to  bring  into 
ofiicial  form  ;  and  I  have  one,  by  way  of  experiment,  on  which  you 
shall  try  your  skill.  The  subject  you  will  easily  comprehend :  it 
turns  upon  an  exposition  of  public  affairs,  such  as  to  throw  an 
artificial  light  on  the  first  appearance  of  the  new  ministry,  and  to 
prejudice  the  public  in  its  favor.  I  have  already  whispered  it  about 
by  my  emissaries  that  every  department  of  the  state  was  completely 
disorganized,  that  the  talents  which  preceded  us  were  no  talents  at 
all ;  and  the  object  at  present  is  to  impress  both  court  and  city,  by 
a  formal  declaration,  with  the  idea  that  our  aid  is  absolutely  neces- 
sary to  save  the  monarchy  itself  from  sinking.  On  this  theme  you 
may  expatiate  till  the  populace  become  lockjawed  with  astonish- 
ment, and  the  sober  part  of  the  public  are  gravely  argued  out  of  all 
prepossession  in  favor  of  the  discarded  party.  By  way  of  contrast, 
you  will  talk  of  the  dignus  vindice  nodus,  taking  care  to  translate  it 
into  Spanish;  and  boast  of  the  measures  adopted,  under  the  new 
order  of  things,  to  secure  the  permanent  glory  of  the  king's  reign, 
to  give  perpetual  prosperity  to  his  dominions,  and  to  confer  per- 
fect, unchangeable  happiness  on  his  good  people." 

His  lordship,  having  given  out  the  general  subject  of  my  thesis, 
left  me  with  a  paper  containing  the  heads  of  charges,  whether  just 
or  unjust,  against  the  late  administration ;  and  I  remember  perfectly 
well  that  there  were  ten  articles,  whose  lightest  word,  even  of  the 
lightest  article,  would  harrow  up  the  soul  of  a  true  Spaniard,  and 
make  his  knotted  and  combined  locks  to  part.  That  the  current  of 
my  fancy  might  experience  no  interruption,  he  shut  me  into  a  little 
closet  near  his  own,  where  the  spirit  of  poetry  might  possess  me  in 
all  its  freedom  and  independence.  My  best  faculties  were  called 
forth  to  compose  a  statement  of  affairs  commensurate  with  my  own 
concern  in  the  sweeping  of  the  new  brooms.  My  first  object  was  to 
lay  open  the  nakedness  and  abandonment  of  the  kingdom ;  the 
finances  in  a  state  of  bankruptcy,  the  civil  list  and  immediate  re- 
sources of  the  crown  pawned  ,fifty  times  over,  the  navy  unpaid,  dis- 


612  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

mantled,  and  iu  mutiny.  All  this  hideous  delineation  was  referred 
for  its  justice  and  accuracy  to  the  wrongheadeduess  and  stupidity 
of  government  at  the  close  of  the  last  reign,  and  the  doctrine  most 
strongly  enforced  that  unexampled  wisdom  and  patriotism  only 
could  ward  off  the  fatal  consequences.  In  short,  the  monarchy 
could  only  be  sustained  on  the  shoulders  of  our  political  sufficiency 
and  reforming  prudence.  The  ex-ministry  were  so  cruelly  bela- 
bored that  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  ruin,  according  to  the  terms  of  my 
syllogism,  was  the  salvation  of  Spain.  To  own  the  truth,  thougli 
my  professions  were  in  the  spirit  of  Christian  charity  towards  that 
nobleman,  I  was  not  sorry  to  give  him  a  sly  rub  in  the  exercise  of 
my  function.  0  man  !  man!  what  a  compound  of  candor-breathing 
satire  and  splenetic  impartiality  art  thou  ! 

Towards  the  conclusion,  having  finished  my  frightful  portraiture 
of  overhanging  evils,  I  endeavored  to  allay  the  storm  my  art  had 
raised,  by  making  futurity  as  bright  as  the  past  had  been  gloomy. 
The  Count  of  Olivarez  was  brought  in  at  the  close,  like  the  tutelary 
deity  of  an  ancient  commonwealth  in  the  crisis  of  its  fate.  I  prom- 
ised more  than  paganism  ever  feigned,  or  chivalry  fancied  in  the 
wildest  of  its  crusading  projects.  In  a  word,  I  so  exactly  executed 
what  the  new  minister  meant  that  he  seemed  not  to  know  his  own 
hints  again,  when  drawn  out  in  my  emphatic  and  appropriate  lan- 
guage. "  Santillane,"  said  he,  "  do  you  know  that  this  is  more 
like  the  composition  one  paight  expect  from  a  secretary  of  state  than 
like  that  of  a  private  secretary  ?  I  can  no  longer  be  surprised  that 
ihe  Duke  of  Lerma  was  fond  of  calling  your  talents  into  action. 
Your  style  is  concise,  and  by  no  means  inelegant ;  but  it  creeps 
rather  too  much  in  the  level  paths  of  nature."  At  the  same  time 
pointing  out  the  passages  which  did  not  hit  his  fancy,  he  corrected 
them ;  and  I  gathered  from  the  touches  he  threw  in  that  Navarro 
was  right  in  saying  he  affected  sententious  wit,  but  mistook  for  it 
quaint  and  stale  conceits.  Nevertheless,  though  he  preferred  the 
stately,  or  rather  the  grotesque,  in  writing,  he  suffered  two-thirds  of 
my  performance  to  stand  without  alteration,  and  by  way  of  proving 
how  entirely  he  was  satisfied,  sent  me  three  hundred  pistoles  by 
Don  Raymond  after  dinner. 


ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS.  613 


CHAPTER   VI. 

THE  APPLICATION  OF  THE  THREE    HUNDRED  PISTOLES,  AND  SCIPIO'S 
COMMISSION  CONNECTED  WITH  THEM. 

THIS  handsome  present  of  the  minister  furnished  Scipio  with  a 
new  subject  of  congratulation,  by  reason  of  our  second  appear- 
ance at  court.  "  You  may  remark,"  said  he,  "  that  fortune  is  pre- 
paring a  load  of  aggrandizement  to  lay  on  your  lordship's  shoulders. 
Are  you  still  sorry  for  having  turned  your  back  on  solitude  ?  May 
the  Count  of  Olivarez  live  forever  I  He  is  a  very  different  sort  of  a 
master  from  his  predecessor.  The  Duke  of  Lerma,  with  all  your 
devotion  to  his  service,  left  you  to  live  upon  suction  for  months, 
without  a  pistole  to  bless  yourself  with  ;  and  the  count  has  already 
made  you  a  present  which  you  could  have  had  no  reason  to  expect 
but  after  a  course  of  long  service. 

"  I  should  very  much  like,"  added  he,  "that  the  lords  of  Leyva 
should  be  witnesses  of  your  great  success,  or  at  least  that  they 
should  be  informed  of  it."  "  It  is  high  time,  indeed,"  answered  I, 
"  and  I  meant  to  speak  with  you  on  that  subject.  They  must  doubt- 
less be  impatient  to  hear  of  my  proceedings ;  but  I  waited  till  my 
fate  was  fixed,  and  till  I  could  decide  for  certain  whether  I  should 
stay  at  court  or  not.  Now  that  I  am  sure  of  my  destination,  you 
have  only  to  set  out  for  Valencia  whenever  you  please,  and  to 
acquaint  those  noblemen  with  my  present  situation,  which  I  con- 
sider as  their  doing,  since  it  is  evident  that  but  for  them  I  should 
never  have  resolved  on  my  journey  to  Madrid."  "  My  dear  master," 
cried  the  son  of  Bohemian  accident,  "  what  joy  shall  I  communicate 
by  relating  what  has  happened  to  you  I  Why  am  I  not  already  at 
the  gates  of  Valencia?  But  I  shall  be  there  forthwith.  Don 
Alphonso's  two  horses  are  ready  in  the  stable.  I  shall  take  one  of 
my  lord's  livery  servants  with  me.  Besides  that  company  is  pleas- 
ant on  the  road,  you  know  very  well  the  effect  of  official  parade  in 
making  impression  on  the  natives  of  a  provincial  town." 

I  could  not  help  laughing  at  my  secretary's  foolish  vanity;  and 
yet,  with  vanity  perhaps  more  than  equal  to  his  own,  I  left  him  to 
do  as  he  pleased.  "Go  about  your  business,"  said  I,  "and  make 
the  best  of  your  way  back,  for  I  have  another  commission  to  give 
you.  I  mean  to  send  you  to  the  Asturias  with  some  money  for  my 
mother.  Through  neglect,  I  have  suffered  the  time  to  elapse  when 
I  promised  to  remit  her  a  hundred  pistoles,  and  pledged  you  to 
make  the  payment  in  person.  Such  engagements  ought  to  be  held 
sacred  by  a  son ;  and  I  reproach  myself  with  inaccuracy  in  the 


614  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

Qbservance  of  mine."  "  Sir,"  answered  Scipio,  "within  six  weeks 
I  shall  bring  you  an  account  of  both  your  commissions,  having 
opened  my  budget  to  the  lords  of  Leyvji,  looked  in  at  your  country- 
house,  and  taken  a  peep  at  the  town  of  Oviedo,  the  recollection  of 
which  I  cannot  admit  into  my  mind  without  turning  over  three- 
fourths  of  the  inhabitants,  and  one-half  of  the  remaining  quarter,  to 
the  corrective  discipline  of  that  infernal  executioner  who  is  sup- 
posed to  be  kept  on  foot  for  the  purpose  of  castigating  sinners."  I 
then  counted  down  one  hundred  pistoles  to  that  same  son  of  a  wan- 
dering mother  for  my  honored  parent's  annuity,  and  another  hun- 
dred for  himself,  meaning  that  he  should  perform  his  long  journey 
without  grumbling  on  my  account  by  the  way. 

Some  days  after  his  departure,  his  lordship  sent  our  memorial  to 
press,  and  it  was  no  sooner  published  than  it  became  the  topic  of 
conversation  in  every  circle  throughout  Madrid.  The  people, 
enamored  of  novelty,  took  up  this  well-written  statement  of  their 
own  wretchedness  with  fond  partiality ;  the  derangement  and  ex- 
haustion of  the  finances,  painted  with  a  mixture  of  truth  and 
poetry,  excited  a  strong  feeling  of  popular  indignation  against  the 
Duke  of  Lerma;  and  if  these  paper  bullets  of  the  brain,  cast  in  the 
political  armory  of  a  rival,  failed  to  carry  victory  with  them  in  the 
opinions  of  all  mankind,  they  were,  at  all  events,  hailed  with  tri- 
umph by  the  most  clamorous  of  our  own  partisans.  As  for  the 
magnificent  promises  which  the  Count  of  Olivarez  threw  in,  and 
among  others  that  of  keeping  the  machine  of  state  in  motion  by  a 
system  of  economy,  without  adding  to  the  public  burdens,  they  were 
caught  at  with  avidity  by  the  citizens  at  large,  and  considered  as 
pledges  of  an  enlightened  and  patriotic  policy,  so  that  the  whole 
city  resounded  with  the  acclamation  of  panegyric  and  congratula- 
tion on  the  opening  of  new  prospects. 

The  minister,  delighted  to  have  attained  his  end  so  easily,  which 
in  that  publication  had  only  been  to  draw  popularity  upon  himself, 
was  now  determined  to  seize  the  substance  as  well  as  catch  at  the 
shadow,  by  an  act  of  unquestionable  credit  with  the  subject,  and 
high  utility  to  the  king's  service.  For  that  purpose  he  had  recourse 
to  the  Emperor  Galba's  contrivance,  consisting  in  a  forced  regurgi- 
tation of  ill-gotten  spoils  from  individuals  who  had  made  large  for- 
tunes— hell  and  their  own  consciences  best  knew  how — in  the 
superintendence  of  the  royal  expenditure.  When  he  had  squeezed 
these  sponges  till  they  were  dry  again,  and  had  filled  the  king's  cof- 
fers with  the  drainings,  he  undertook  to  render  the  reform  perma- 
nent by  abolishing  all  pensions,  not  excepting  his  own,  and  curtail- 
ing the  gratuities  too  frequently  bestowed  on  favorites  out  of  the 
prince's  privy  purse.    To  succeed  in  this  design,  which  he  could  not 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  615 

carry  into  effect  without  changing  the  face  of  the  government,  he 
charged  me  with  the  composition  of  a  new  state  paper,  furnishing 
the  substance  and  the  form  from  his  own  idea.  He  then  advised  me 
to  raise  my  style  as  much  as  possible  above  the  level  of  the  ordinary 
simplicity,  and  to  give  an  air  of  more  eloquence  to  my  phraseology. 
"A  hint  is  sufficient,  my  lord,"  said  I;  "your  excellency  wishes  t" 
unite  sublimity  with  illumination,  and  it  shall  be  so."  I  shut  m^ 
self  up  in  the  same  closet  where  I  had  already  worked  so  succe.^;  i 
fully,  and  sat  down  stiffly  to  my  task,  first  calling  to  my  aid  the. 
lofty  and  clear  perceptions,  the  noble  and  sonorous  expressions  of 
my  old  instructor,  the  Archbishop  of  Granada. 

I  began  by  laying  it  down  as  a  first  maxim  of  political  philosophy 
that  the  vital  functions,  the  respiration,  as  it  were,  of  all  monarchy, 
depended  on  the  strict  administration  of  the  finances ;  that  in  our 
particular  case,  that  duty  became  imperiously  urgent,  irresistibly 
impressing  on  our  consciences ;  and  that  the  revenue  should  be  con- 
sidered as  the  nerves  and  sinews  of  Spain,  to  hold  her  rivals  in  check 
and  keep  her  enemies  in  awe.  After  this  general  declaration,  I 
pointed  out  to  the  sovereign — for  to  him  the  memorial  was  ad- 
dressed— that  by  cutting  down  all  pensions  and  perquisites  depend- 
ent on  the  ordinary  income,  he  would  not  thereby  deprive  himself 
of  that  truly  royal  pleasure,  a  princely  munificence  towards  those  of 
his  subjects  who  had  established  a  fair  claim  to  his  favors ;  because, 
without  drawing  upon  his  treasury,  he  had  the  means  of  distributing, 
more  acceptable  rewards ;  that  for  one  branch  of  service,  there  were 
viceroyalties,  lieutenancies,  orders  of  merit,  and  all  sorts  of  military 
commissions  ;  for  another,  high  judicial  situations  with  salaries  an- 
nexed, civil  offices  of  magistracy  with  sounding  titles  to  give  them 
consequence ;  and  though  last,  not  least,  all  the  temporal  possessions 
of  the  church  to  animate  the  piety  of  its  spiritual  pastors. 

This  memorial,  which  was  much  longer  than  the  first,  occupied 
me  nearly  three  days ;  but  as  luck  would  have  it,  my  performance 
was  exactly  to  my  master's  mind,  who,  finding  it  written  with  sen- 
tentious cogency,  and  bristled  up  with  metaphors  in  the  declamatory 
oarts,  complimented  me  in  the  highest  terms.  "That  is  vastly  well 
expressed  indeed,"  said  he,  laying  his  finger  on  a  passage  here  and 
there,  and  picking  out  all  the  most  inflated  sentences  he  could  find  : 
"  that  language  bears  the  stamp  of  fine  composition,  and  might  pass 
for  the  production  of  a  classic.  Courage,  my  friend  !  I  foresee  that 
your  services  will  be  worth  their  weight  in  gold."  And  yet,  not- 
withstanding the  applauses  he  lavished  on  my  classical  composition, 
a  few  of  his  own  heightening  touches,  he  thought,  would  make  it 
read  still  better.  He  put  a  good  deal  of  his  own  stuff  into  it,  and 
the  medley  was  manufactured  into  a  piece  of  eloquence  which  wan 


616  ADVEXTUHES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

considered  as  unanswerable  by  the  king  and  all  the  court.  The 
whole  city  joined  in  opinion  with  the  higher  orders,  deriving  the 
most  flattering  hopes  of  the  future  from  these  grand  promises,  and 
concluding  that  the  monarchy  must  recover  its  pristine  splendor 
during  the  ministry  of  so  illustrious  a  character.  His  excellency, 
finding  that  my  sermon  on  economy  was  fraught  with  practical  in- 
ferences of  utility  to  him,  was  kind  enough  to  wish  that  I  should 
profit  by  the  exercise  of  my  own  talents.  In  conformity  therefore 
with  his  new  system  of  patronage,  he  gave  me  an  annuity  of  five 
hundred  crowns  on  the  commandery  of  Castille ;  and  the  acceptance 
of  it  was  so  much  the  more  palatable,  as  no  dirty  work  had  been  done 
for  it,  but  it  was  honestly  though  cheaply  earned. 


CHAPTER  VIL 

GIL  BLAS   MEETS  WITH    HIS   FRIEND    FABRICIO  ONCE   MORE.     THE  CIB- 

CUMSTANCES  DESCRIBED. 

~^T~OTHING  gave  his  lordship  greater  pleasure  than  to  hear  the 
1  \l  general  decision  of  Madrid  on  the  conduct  of  his  administra- 
tion. Not  a  day  passed  but  he  inquired  what  they  were  saying  of 
him  in  the  political  world.  He  kept  spies  in  pay,  to  bring  him  an 
exact  account  of  what  was  going  on  in  the  city.  They  particularized 
the  most  trivial  discourses  which  they  overheard  ;  and  their  orders 
being  to  suppress  nothing,  his  self-love  was  grazed  now  and  then, 
for  the  people  have  a  way  of  ^bolting  out  home  truths,  without  any 
nice  calculation  where  they  may  glance. 

Finding  that  the  count  loved  political  small  talk,  I  made  it  my 
business  to  frequent  places  of  public  resort  after  dinner,  and  to  chime 
in  with  the  conversation  of  genteel  people  whenever  opportunity 
offered.  Should  the  measures  of  government  happen  to  be  canvassed 
among  them,  I  pricked  up  my  ears,  and  greedily  took  in  their  dis- 
course ;  if  anything  worth  repeating  was  said,  his  excellency  was 
sure  to  hear  of  it.  It  can  scarcely  be  necessary  to  hint  that  I 
never  carried  home  anything  which  was  not  likely  to  pay  for  the 
porterage. 

One  day,  returning  from  one  of  these  little  conversational  parties, 
my  road  lay  in  front  of  a  hospital.  It  occurred  to  me  to  go  in.  I 
walked  through  two  or  three  wards  filled  with  diseased  patients,  and 
examined  their  beds  to  see  that  they  were  properly  taken  care  of. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  617         - 

Among  these  unhappy  wretches,  whom  I  could  not  look  at  without 
the  most  painful  feelings,  I  observed  one  whose  features  struck  me: 
it  surely  could  be  no  other  than  Fabricio,  my  countryman  and 
chum !  To  look  at  him  more  closely,  I  drew  near  his  bedside,  and 
finding,  beyond  a  possibility  of  doubt,  that  it  was  the  poet  Nunez,  I 
stopped  to  look  at  him  for  a  few  seconds  without  saying  a  word.  He 
also  fixed  his  regards  on  me.  At  length  breaking  silence,  "  Do  not 
my  eyes  deceive  me?"  said  I.  "Is  it  indeed  Fabricio,  and  here?'* 
"  It  is  indeed,"  answered  he,  coldly,  "  and  you  need  not  wonder  at 
it.  Since  we  parted,  I  have  been  working  indefatigably  at  the  trade 
of  an  author :  I  have  written  novels,  plays,  and  works  of  genius  in 
every  department.    My  brain  is  fairly  spun  out,  and  here  I  am." 

I  could  not  help  laughing  at  such  a  sketch  of  literary  biography, 
and  still  more  at  the  serious  air  of  the  accompanying  action. 
"  What !"  cried  I,  "  has  your  muse  at  length  brought  you  to  this 
pass  ?  Has  she  played  you  such  a  jade's  trick  as  this  ?"  "  Even 
as  you  witness,"  answered  he ;  "  this  establishment  is  a  sort  of  half  • 
pay  receptacle  for  invalids  on  the  muster-roll  of  disabled  wit.  You 
have  acted  discreetly,  my  good  friend,  to  lay  yourself  out  for  promo- 
tion in  a  different  line.  But  they  tell  me  you  are  no  longer  a  cour- 
tier, and  that  your  prospects  in  political  life  were  all  blasted ;  nay, 
they  went  so  far  as  to  affirm  that  you  were  committed  to  close  custody 
by  the  king's  order."  "  They  told  you  no  more  than  the  truth," 
replied  I ;  "  the  delightful  vision  of  political  eminence  wherein  you 
left  me  last  soon  shifted  the  scene  of  my  incoherent  dreams  to  a 
prison  and  complete  destitution.  But  for  all  that,  my  friend,  here 
you  behold  me  again  in  a  better  plight  than  ever."  "  That  is  quite 
out  of  the  question,"  said  Nunez :  "  your  deportment  is  discreet  and 
decent ;  you  have  not  that  supercilious  and  devil-take-the-hindmost 
sort  of  aspect  which  good  keep  communicates  to  the  human  face." 
"  The  reverses  of  this  checkered  life,"  replied  I,  "  have  brought  me 
down  to  the  level  of  the  more  modest  virtues  ;  I  have  taken  a  lesson 
in  the  school  of  adversity,  to  enjoy  the  possession  of  a  good  stud 
without  riding  the  great  horse." 

"  Tell  me  then  candidly,"  cried  Fabricio,  raising  his  head  upon 
his  hand  with  his  elbow  upon  the  pillow,  "what  your  present  occu- 
pation can  possibly  be.  A  steward  perhaps  to  some  nobleman  out 
at  elbows,  or  man  of  business  to  some  rich  widow  1"  "  Something 
better  than  either  the  one  or  the  other,"  rejoined  I;  "but  excuse 
me  from  saying  more  at  present:  another  time  your  curiosity  shall 
be  satisfied.  It  is  enough  at  present  to  assure  you  that  my  means 
are  equal  to  my  inclination,  and  that  you  may  command  indepen- 
dence through  me ;  but  then  you  must  submit  to  an  embargo  on 
your  wit,  and  a  non-intercourse  act  between  you  and  the  faculty  of 


618  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

writing,  whether  in  verse  or  prose.  Can  you  make  this  sacrifice  to 
my  friendship  ?"  "  I  have  already  made  it  to  the  powers  above," 
said  he,  "  in  my  last  critical  sickness.  A  Dominican  made  me 
forswear  poetry,  as  an  amusement  bordering  on  criminality,  but  at 
all  events  beside  the  turnpike-road  of  good  sense."  "  I  wish  you 
joy,  my  dear  Nunez,"  replied  I ;  "  but  beware  of  a  revoke."  "There 
is  not  the  least  danger  on  that  head,"  rejoined  he :  "  the  Muses  and 
I  have  agreed  on  terras  of  separation  :  just  as  you  came  in  at  that 
door,  I  was  conning  over  a  farewell  ode."  "  Good  Master  Fabricio," 
said  I,  with  a  wise  swagging  to  and  fro  of  my  head,  "  it  is  a  doubt- 
ful question  whether  your  vow  of  abjuration  ought  to  pass  current 
with  the  Dominican  and  myself:  you  seem  over  head  and  ears  in 
love  with  those  virgins  incarnate."  "No,  no,"  contended  he, 
peevishly;  "I  have  cut  .the  connection  asunder.  Nay,  more,  I 
have  quarrelled  with  their  keepers,  the  public.  The  readers  of 
these  days  do  not  deserve  an  author  of  more  genius  than  them- 
selves :  I  should  be  sorry  to  write  down  to  their  comprehension. 
You  are  not  to  suppose  that  this  is  the  language  of  disgust ;  it  is  my 
sincere  and  well-weighed  opinion.  Applause  and  hisses  are  just  the 
same  to  me.  It  is  a  toss-up  who  fails  and  who  succeeds:  the  wit 
of  to-day  is  the  blockhead  of  to-morrow.  What  cursed  fools  our 
dramatists  must  be,  to  care  for  anything  but  their  poundage  when 
their  plays  happen  to  be  received  I  It  is  all  very  well  for  a  few 
nights  I  But  only  fancy  a  revival  at  the  end  of  twenty  years,  and 
what  a  figure  they  will  cilt  thenl  The  audiences  of  the  present 
day  turn  up  their  noses  at  the  stock  pieces  of  the  last  age,  and  it  is 
a  question  whether  their  taste  will  fare  better  with  their  more 
critical  descendants.  If  that  conjecture  be  probable,  the  inventors 
of  clap-traps  now  wijl  be  the  butt  of  cat-calls  hereafter.  It  is  just 
the  same  with  novel  writers,  and  all  other  manufacturers  of  un- 
necessary literature ;  they  strut  and  fret  for  an  hour,  and  then  are 
no  more  seen  or  heard  of.  The  glories  of  successful  authorship  are 
the  mere  vapors  of  a  murky  atmosphere,  meteors  of  a  marsh,  foul 
coruscations  of  a  dunghill,  cathedral  tapers  to  put  out  the  galaxy, 
blue  flames  of  coarse  paper  held  over  a  candle." 

Though  these  caricatures  of  rival  renown  were  the  mere  creations 
of  jealousy  in  the  poet  of  the  Asturias,  it  was  not  my  business  to 
correct  his  ill  temper.  "I  am  delighted,"  said  I,. "that  wit  and 
you  have  had  so  serious  a  quarrel,  and  that  the  diarrhoea  of  your  in- 
ventive faculties  has  been  cured  by  an  astringent.  You  may  depend 
on  it,  I  will  put  you  in  the  way  of  a  good  livelihood,  without  draw- 
ing deep  upon  your  intellectual  credit."  "So  much  the  better," 
cried  he ;  "  wit  smells  like  carrion  in  my  nostrils,  or  rather  like  a 
pungent  and  deleterious  perfume ;  fragrant  to  the  sense,  but  corro- 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  619 

sive  to  the  vitals."  "I  heartily  wish,  my  dear  Fabricio,"  resumed 
I,  "that  you  may  always  keep  in  that  mind.  Only  wash  your 
hands  completely  of  poetry,  and,  you  may  depend  on  it,  I  will 
enable  you  to  keep  your  head  above  water  without  picking  or 
stealing.  In  the  meanwhile,"  added  I,  slipping  a  purse  of  sixty  pis- 
toles into  his  hand, "  accept  this  as  a  slight  instance  of  my  regard." 
"  O  friend  like  the  friends  in  days  of  yore,"  cried  the  son  of  the 
barber  Nunez,  out  of  his  wits  with  joy  and  gratitude,  "it  was 
Heaven  itself  which  sent  you  into  this  hospital,  whence  your  good- 
ness is  now  discharging  me!"  Before  we  parted,  I  gave  him  my 
address,  and  invited  him  to  come  and  see  me  aa  soon  as  his  health 
would  permit.  He  opened  his  eyes  as  an  oyster  does  its  shell,  when 
I  told  him  that  I  lodged  under  the  minister's  roof.  "O  illustrious 
Gil  Bias !"  said  he,  "  great  as  Pompey  and  fortunate  as  Sylla,  whose 
lot  it  is  to  be  hand  in  glove  with  the  dictators  of  modern  times !  I 
rejoice  most  disinterestedly  in  your  good  fortune,  because  it  i8  so 
very  evident  what  a  noble  use  you  make  of  it." 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

OIL  BLAS  FBOGRESSES  IN  HIS  MASTEB'S  AFFECTIONS.     SCIPIO'S  BETUBN 
TO  madeid;  an  account  of  his  JOUENEY. 

THE  Count  of  Olivarez,  whom  I  shall  henceforth  call  my  lord 
duke,  because  the  king  was  pleased  to  confer  that  dignity  on 
him  about  this  time,  was  affected  with  a  weakness  which  I  did  not 
suffer  to  pass  without  taking  toll ;  it  was  a  furious  desire  of  being 
beloved.  The  moment  he  fancied  that  any  one  really  liked  him, 
his  heart  was  caught  in  a  trap.  This  was  not  lost  upon  my  keen 
sense  of  character.  It  was  not  enough  to  do  precisely  as  he  ordered ; 
I  superadded  a  zeal  in  the  execution  which  made  him  mine.  I  laid 
myself  out  to  his  liking  in  everything,  and  provided  beforehand  for 
his  most  eccentric  wishes. 

By  conduct  like  this,  which  almost  always  answers,  I  became  by 
degrees  my  master's  favorite ;  and  he,  on  the  other  hand,  as  if  he 
had  got  round  to  my  blind  side  also,  wormed  himself  into  my  affec- 
tions by  giving  me  his  own.  So  forward  did  I  get  into  his  good 
graces  as  to  halve  his  confidence  with  Signor  Camero,  his  principal 
secretary. 

Camero  had  played  my  game,  and  that  so  successfully  as  to  be 


620  ADVENrUKES  OF  GIL  JJLAS. 

entrusted  with  the  greater  mysteries.  We  two,  therefore,  were  the 
keepers  of  the  prime  minister's  conscience,  and  held  the  keys  of  all 
his  secrets ;  with  this  difference,  that  Carnero  was  consulted  on  state 
affairs,  myself  about  his  private  concerns,  dividing  the  business  into 
two  separate  departments;  and  we  were  each  of  us  equally  pleased 
with  our  own.  We  lived  together  without  jealousy,  and  certainly 
without  attachment.  I  had  every  reason  to  be  satisfied  with  my 
quarters,  where  continual  intercourse  gave  me  an  opportunity  of 
prying  into  the  duke's  inmost  soul,  which  was  a  masked  battery  to 
all  mankind  besides,  but  plain  as  a  pike-staff  to  me,  when  he  no 
longer  questioned  the  sincerity  of  my  attachment  to  him. 

" Santillane,"  said  he  one  day,  "you  were  witness  to  the  Duke  of 
Lerma's  possession  of  an  authority  more  like  that  of  an  absolute 
monarch  than  a  favorite  minister ;  and  yet  I  am  still  happier  than 
he  was  at  the  very  summit  of  his  good  fortune.  He  had  two  formi- 
dable enemies  in  his  own  son,  the  Duke  of  Uzeda,  and  in  the  con- 
fessor of  Philip  the  Third ;  but  there  is  no  one  now  about  the  king 
who  has  credit  enough  to  stand  in  my  way,  or  even,  as  I  am  aware, 
the  slightest  inclination  to  do  me  mischief. 

"  It  is  true,"  continued  he,  "  that  on  my  accession  to  the  ministry, 
it  was  my  first  care  to  remove  all  hangers-on  from  about  the  prince 
but  those  of  my  own  family  or  connections.  By  means  of  vice- 
royalties  or  embassies  I  got  rid  of  all  the  nobility  who,  by  their 
personal  merit,  could  have  interfered  with  me  in  the  good  graces  of 
the  sovereign,  whom  I  mean  to  engross  entirely  to  myself;  so  that 
I  may  say  at  the  present  moment,  no  statesman  of  the  time  holds 
me  in  check  by  the  ascendency  of  his  personal  influence.  You  see, 
Gil  Bias,  I  open  my  mind  to  you.  As  I  have  reason  to  think  that 
you  are  mine,  heart  and  soul,  I  have  chosen  to  put  you  in  possession 
of  everything.  You  are  a  clever  youth,  with  reflection,  penetration, 
and  discretion ;  in  short,  you  are  just  the  very  creature  to  acquit 
yourself  of  all  possible  little  offices  in  all  possible  directions ;  you 
are  also  a  young  fellow  of  very  promising  parts,  and  must,  in  the 
nature  of  things,  be  in  my  interests." 

There  was  no  standing  the  attack  which  these  flattering  represen- 
tations were  calculated  to  make  upon  the  weakly-defended  fortress 
of  my  philosophy.  Unauthorized  whims  of  avarice  arid  ambition 
mounted  suddenly  into  my  head,  and  brought  forward  certain  senti- 
ments of  political  speculation  which  were  supposed  to  have  been  in 
abeyance.  I  gave  the  minister  an  assurance  that  I  should  fulfill  his 
intentions  to  the  utmost  of  my  power,  and  held  myself  in  readiness 
to  execute,  without  examination  or  interference,  all  the  orders  it 
might  be  his  plea.sure  to  give  me. 

While  I  was  thus  disposed  to  take  Fortune  in  her  affable  fit,  Scipio 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  621 

returned  from  his  peregrination.  "  I  have  no  long  story  for  you," 
said  he.  "The  lords  of  Leyva  were  delighted  at  your  reception 
from  the  king,  and  at  the  manner  in  which  the  Count  of  Olivarez 
and  you  came  to  understand  one  another." 

"  My  friend,"  said  I,  "  you  would  have  delighted  them  still  more 
had  you  been  able  to  tell  them  on  what  a  footing  I  am  now  with 
my  lord.  My  advances  since  your  departure  have  been  prodigious." 
"  Happy  man  be  his  dole,  my  dear  master,"  answered  he :  "  my 
mind  forebodes  that  we  shall  cut  a  figure." 

"  Let  us  change  the  subject,"  said  I,  "  and  talk  of  Oviedo.  You 
have  been  in  the  Asturias.  How  did  you  leave  my  mother?"  "Ah, 
sir  1"  replied  he,  with  an  undertaker's  decency  of  countenance,  "  I 
have  a  melancholy  tale  to  tell  you  from  that  quarter."  "  Oh, 
heaven !"  exclaimed  I,  "  my  mother,  then,  is  dead !"  "  Six  months 
since,"  said  ray  secretary,  "  did  the  good  lady  pay  the  debt  of  nature, 
and  your  uncle,  Signor  Gil  Perez,  about  the  same  period." 

My  mother's  death  preyed  upon  my  susceptible  nature,  though  in 
my  childhood  I  had  not  received  from  her  those  little  fondling  indi- 
cations of  maternal  love  so  necessary  to  amalgamate  with  the  more 
serious  convictions  of  filial  duty.  The  good  canon,  too,  came  in  for 
his  share  in  bringing  me  up  according  to  the  rules  of  godliness  and 
honesty.  My  serious  grief  was  not  lasting ;  but  I  never  lost  sight 
of  a  certain  tender  recollection,  whenever  the  Idea  of  my  dear  rela- 
tions shot  across  my  mind. 


CHAPTEB IX. 


HOW  MY  LORD   DUKE   MARRIED   HIS   ONLY  DAUGHTER,  AND  TO  WHOM. 
THE  BITTER  CONSEQUENCES  OF  THAT  MARRIAGE. 

YERy  shortly  after  the  son  of  Cosclina's  return,  my  lord  duke 
fell  into  a  brown  study,  and  it  lasted  a  complete  week.  I 
conceived,  of  course,  that  he  was  brooding  over  some  great  measure 
of  government ;  but  family  concerns  were  the  object  of  his  musings. 
"  Gil  Bias,"  said  he  one  day  after  dinner,  "  you  may  perceive  that 
my  mind  is  a  good  deal  distracted.  Yes,  my  good  friend,  I  am  pon- 
dering over  an  affair  of  the  utmost  consequence  to  my  feelings.  You 
shall  know  all  about  it. 

'•  My  daughter,  Donna  Maria,"  pursued  he,  "  is  marriageable,  and 
of  course  beset  with  suitors.    The  Count  de  Ni6bl6s,  eldest  son  of 


622  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BIAS. 

the  Duke  de  Medina  Sidonia,  head  of  the  Guzman  family,  and  Don 
Lewis  de  Haro,  eldest  son  of  the  Marquis  de  Carpio  and  my  eldest 
Bister,  are  the  two  most  likely  competitors.  The  latter,  in  particular, 
is  superior  in  point  of  merit  to  all  his  rivals,  so  that  the  whole  court 
has  fixed  on  him  for  my  son-in-law.  Nevertheless,  without  entering 
into  private  motives  for  treating  him,  as  well  as  the  Count  de  Nie- 
bles,  with  a  refusal,  ray  present  views  are  fixed  upon  Don  Ramires 
Nunez  de  Guzman,  Marquis  of  Toral,  head  of  the  Guzmans  d'Abra- 
dos,  another  branch  of  the  family.  To  that  nobleman  and  his  pro- 
geny, by  my  daughter,  I  mean  to  leave  all  my  property,  and  to 
entail  on  them  the  title  of  Count  d'Olivarez,  with  the  additional 
dignity  of  grandee ;  so  that  my  grandchildren  and  their  descendants, 
issue  of  the  Abrados  and  Olivarez  branch,  will  be  considered  as 
taking  precedence  in  the  himse  of  Guzman. 

"  Tell  me  now,  Santillane,"  added  he,  "  do  you  not  like  my  pro- 
ject?" "  Excuse  me,  my  lord,"  pleaded  I,  with  a  shrug;  "the  de- 
sign is  worthy  of  the  genius  which  gave  birth  to  it :  my  only  fear  is 
lest  the  Duke  of  Medina  Sidonia  should  think  fit  to  be  out  of  humor 
at  it."  "  Let  him  take  it  as  he  list,"  resumed  the  minister;  "I  give 
myself  very  little  concern  about  that.  His  branch  is  no  favorite 
with  me  :  they  have  choused  that  of  Abrados  out  of  their  precedence 
and  many  of  their  privileges.  I  shall  be  far  less  affected  by  his  ill 
humors  than  by  the  "disappointment  of  my  sister,  the  Marchioness 
de  Carpio,  when  she  sees  my  daughter  slip  through  her  son's  fingers. 
But  let  that  be  as  it  may,  I  am  determined  to  please  myself,  and  Don 
Ramires  shall  be  the  man ;  it  is  a  settled  point." 

My  lord  duke  having  announced  this  firm  resolve,  did  not  carry  it 
into  effect  without  giving  a  new  proof  of  his  singular  policy.  He 
presented  a  memorial  to  the  king,  entreating  him  and  the  queen,  in 
concert,  to  do  him  the  honor  of  taking  the  choice  of  a  husband  for 
his  daughter  on  themselves,  at  the  same  time  acquainting  them  with 
the  pretensions  of  the  suitors,  and  professing  to  abide  by  their  elec- 
tion ;  but  he  took  care,  when  naming  the  Marquis  de  Toral,  to 
evince  clearly  whither  his  own  wishes  pointed.  The  king,  there- 
fore, with  a  blind  deference  for  his  minister,  answered  thus : — 

"  I  think  that  Don  Ramires  Nunez  deserves  Donna  Maria ;  but 
determine  for  yourself.  The  match  of  your  own  choosing  will  be 
most  agreeable  to  me. 

"The  King." 

The  minister  made  a  point  of  showing  this  answer  everywhere ; 
and  affecting  to  consider  it  as  a  royal  mandate,  hastened  his  daugh- 
ter's marriage  with  the  Marquis  de  Toral;    a  death-blow  to  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  623 

hopes  of  the  Marchioness  de  Carpio  and  the  rest  of  the  Guzmans 
who  had  been  speculating  on  an  alliance  with  Donna  Maria.  These 
rival  players  of  a  losing  game,  not  being  able  to  break  off  the  match, 
put  the  best  face  they  could  upon  it,  and  made  the  fashionable 
world  resound  with  their  costly  celebrations  of  the  event.  A  super- 
ficial observer  might  have  fancied  that  the  whole  family  was  de- 
lighted with  the  arrangement ;  but  the  pouters  and  ill-wishers  were 
soon  revenged  most  cruelly  at  my  lord  duke's  expense.  Donna 
Maria  was  brought  to  bed  of  a  daughter  at  the  end  of  ten  months ; 
the  infant  was  still-born,  and  the  mother  died  a  few  days  afterwards. 
What  a  loss  for  a  father  who  had  no  eyes,  as  one  may  say,  but  for 
his  daughter,  and  in  her  loss  felt  the  miscarriage  of  his  design  to 
quash  the  right  of  precedence  in  the  branch  of  Medina  Sidonia  I 
Stung  to  the  quick  by  his  misfortune,  he  shut  himself  up  for  several  - 
days,  and  was  visible  to  no  one  but  myself — a  sincere  sympathizer, 
from  the  recollection  of  my  own  experience  in  his  sorrow.  The  occa- 
sion drew  forth  fresh  tears  to  Antonia's  memory.  The  death  of  the 
Marchioness  de  Toral,  under  circumstances  so  similar,  tore  open  a 
wound  imperfectly  skinned  over,  and  so  exasperated  my  affliction, 
that  the  minister,  though  be  had  enough  to  do  with  his  own  suffer- 
ings, could  not  help  taking  notice  of  mine.  It  seemed  unaccount- 
able how  exactly  his  feelings  were  echoed.  "  Gil  Bias,"  said  he, 
one  day,  when  my  tears  seemed  to  feed  upon  indulgence,  "my 
greatest  consolation  consists  in  having  a  bosom  friend  so  much  alive 
to  all  my  distresses."  "  Ah !  my  lord,"  answered  I,  giving  him  the 
full  credit  of  my  amiable  tenderness,  "  I  must  be  ungrateful  and  de- 
generate in  my  nature  if  I  did  not  lament  as  for  myself.  Can  I  be 
aware  that  you  mourn  over  a  daughter  of  accomplished  merit,  whom 
you  loved  so  tenderly,  without  shedding  tears  of  fellow-feeling?  No, 
my  lord,  I  am  too  much  naturalized  to  you  on  the  side  of  obligation 
not  to  take  a  permanent  interest  in  all  your  pleasures  and  disap- 
pointmenta." 


CHAPTEE   X. 


GIL  BLA8    MEETS  WITH   THE    POET   NUNEZ   BY  ACCIDENT,  AND  LBABN8 
THAT  HE  HAS  WEITTEN  A  TRAGEDY. 

THE  minister  began  to  pick  up  his  crumbs,  and  myself  conse- 
quently to  get  into  feather  again,  when  one  evening  I  went  put 
alone  in  the  carriage  to  take  an  airing.    On  the  road  I  met  the  poet 


624  ADYENTUltES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

of  the  Asturias,  who  had  been  lost  to  my  knowledge  ever  since  his 
discharge  from  the  hospital.  He  was  very  decently  dressed.  I  called 
him  up,  gave  him  a  seat  in  my  carriage,  and  we  drove  together  to 
St,  Jerome's  meadow. 

"Master  Nunez,"  said  I,  "it  is  Incky  for  me  to  have  met  you  acci- 
dentally; for  otherwise  I  should  not  have  had  the  pleasure."  .  ,  . 
"No  severe  speeches,  Santillane,"  interrupted  he  with  considerable 
eagerness;  "I  must  own  frankly  that  I  did  not  mean  to  keep  up 
your  acquaintance,  and  I  will  tell  you  the  reason.  You  promised 
me  a  good  situation  provided  I  abjured  poetry;  but  I  have  found  a 
very  excellent  one  on  condition  of  keeping  my  talents  in  constant 
play.  I  accepted  the  latter  alternative,  as  squaring  best  with  my 
own  humor.  A  friend  of  mine  got  me  an  employment  under  Don 
Bertrand  Gomez  del  Ribero,  treasurer  of  the  king's  galleys.  This 
Don  Bertrand,  wanting  to  have  a  wit  in  his  pay,  and  finding  my 
turn  for  poetical  composition  very  much  in  unison  with  his  own 
sense  of  what  is  excellent,  has  chosen  me  in  preference  to  five  or  six 
authors  who  ofiered  themselves  as  candidates  for  the  place  of  his 
private  secretarj'." 

"  I  am  delighted  at  the  news,  my  dear  Fabricio,"  said  I,  "  for  this 
Don  Bertrand  must  be  very  rich."  "  Eich  indeed !"  answered  he  ; 
"  they  say  that  he  does  not  know  himself  how  much  he  is  worth. 
However  that  may  be,  my  business  under  him  is  as  follows :  He 
prides  himself  on  his  turn  for  gallantry,  at  the  same  time  wishing 
to  pass  for  a  man  of  genius ;  he  therefore  keeps  up  an  epistolary 
intercourse  of  wit  with  several  ladies  who  have  an  infinite  deal,  and 
borrows  my  brain  to  indite  such  letters  as  may  amplify  the  opinion 
of  his  sprightliness  and  elegance.  I  write  to  one  for  him  in  verse, 
to  another  in  prose,  and  sometimes  carry  the  letters  myself,  to 
prove  the  agility  of  my  heels  as  well  as  the  ingenuity  of  my 
head." 

"  But  you  do  not  tell  me,"  said  I,  "  what  I  most  want  to  know. 
Are  you  well  paid  for  your  epigrammatic  cards  of  compliment  ?" 
"  Yes,  most  plentifully,"  answered  he.  "  Rich  men  are  not  always 
open-handed  ;  and  I  know  some  who  are  downright  curmudgeons  ; 
but  Don  Bertrand  has  behaved  in  the  most  handsome  manner. 
Besides  a  salary  of  two  hundred  pistoles,  I  receive  some  little  occa- 
sional perquisites  from  him,  sufficient  to  set  me  above  the  world, 
and  enable  me  to  live  on  an  equal  footing  with  some  choice  spirits 
of  the  literary  circles,  who  are  willing,  like  myself,  to  set  care  at 
defiance."  "  But  then,"  resumed  I,  "  has  your  treasurer  critical 
skill  enough  to  distinguish  the  beauties  of  a  performance  from  its 
blemishes?"  "The  least  likely  man  in  the  world,"  answered  Nunez; 
"a  flippant-tongued  smatterer,  with    a    miserdble  assortment  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  625 

materials  for  judging.  Yet  he  gives  himself  out  for  chief  justice 
and  lord  president  of  Apollo's  tribunal.  His  decisions  are  advent- 
urous, if  not  always  lucky ;  while  his  opinions  are  maintained  in 
so  high  a  tone  and  with  so  bullying  a  challenge  of  infallibility,  that 
nine  times  out  of  ten  the  issue  of  an  argument  is  silence,  though 
not  conviction,  on  the  part  of  the  opponent,  as  a  measure  of  pre- 
caution against  the  gathering  storm  of  foul  language  and  contempt- 
uous sneers. 

"  You  may  readily  suppose,"  continued  he,  "  that  I  take  especial 
care  never  to  contradict  him,  though  it  almost  exceeds  human  pa- 
tience to  forbear ;  for,  to  say  nothing  of  the  unpalatable  phrases 
that  might  be  hailed  down  on  my  defenceless  head,  I  should  stand 
a  very  good  chance  of  being  shoved  by  the  shoulders  out  of  doors. 
I  therefore  am  discreet  enough  to  approve  what  he  praises,  and  to 
condemn  without  mitigation  or  appeal  whatever  he  is  pleased  to  find 
fault  with.  By  this  easy  compliance — for  poets  are  compelled  to 
acquire  a  knack  of  knocking  under  to  those  by  whom  they  live,  not 
even  excepting  their  booksellers — I  have  gained  the  esteem  and 
friendship  of  my  patron.  He  has  employed  me  to  write  a  tragedy 
on  a  plot  of  his  own.  I  have  executed  it  under  his  inspection ;  and 
if  the  piece  succeeds,  a  percentage  of  the  laud  and  honor  must 
accrue  to  him." 

I  asked  our  poet  what  was  the  title  of  his  tragedy.  He  informed 
me  that  it  was  "  The  Count  of  Saldagna,"  and  that  it  would  come 
out  in  two  or  three  days.  I  told  him  that  I  wished  it  all  possible 
success,  and  thought  so  favorably  of  his  genius  as  to  entertain  con- 
siderable hopes.  "  So  do  I,"  said  he  ;  "  but  hope  never  tells  a  more 
flattering  tale  than  in  the  ear  of  a  dramatic  author.  You  might  as 
well  attempt  to  fix  the  wind  by  nailing  the  weathercock  as  specu- 
late on  the  reception  of  a  new  piece  with  an  audience." 

At  length  the  day  of  performance  arrived.  I  could  not  go  to  the 
play,  being  prevented  by  official  business.  The  only  thing  to  be 
done  was  to  send  Scipio,  that  he  might  bring  me  back  word  how  it 
went  oflF,  for  I  was  sincerely  interested  in  the  event.  After  waiting 
impatiently  for  his  return,  in  he  came  with  a  long  face,  which  boded 
no  good.  "  Well,"  said  I,  "  how  was  '  The  Count  of  Saldagna'  wel- 
comed by  the  critics?"  "Very  roughly,"  answered  he;  "never 
was  there  a  play  more  brutally  handled ;  I  left  the  house  in  high 
anger  at  the  injustice  and  insolence  of  the  pit."  "  It  serves  him 
right,"  rejoined  I.  "Nunez  is  no  better  than  a  madman,  to  be 
always  running  his  head  against  the  stone  walls  of  a  theatre.  If 
he  was  in  his  senses,  could  he  have  preferred  the  hisses  and  catcalls 
of  an  unfeeling  mob  to  the  ease  and  dignity  he  might  have  com- 
manded under  my  patronage?"  Thus  did  I  inveigh  with  friendly 
40 


G2G  .  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

vehemence  against  the  poet  of  the  Asturias,  and  disturb  the  even 
tenor  of  my  mind  for  an  event  which  the  siiflerer  hailed  with  joy, 
and  inserted  among  the  well-omened  particulars  of  his  journal. 

He  came  to  see  me  within  two  days,  and  appeared  in  high  spirits. 
"Santillane,"  cried  he,  "  1  am  come  to  receive  your  congratulations. 
My  fortune  is  made,  my  friend,  though  my  play  is  marred.  You 
know  what  a  mistake  they  made  on  the  first  and  last  night  of  '  The 
Count  of  SaUhigna ;'  hissed  instead  of  applauding !  You  would 
have  thought  all  the  wild  beasts  of  the  forest  had  been  let  loose, 
with  their  ears  fortified  against  the  softening  power  of  poetry ;  but 
the  more  they  bellowed,  the  better  I  fared,  and  they  have  roared  me 
into  a  provision  for  life." 

There  was  no  knowing  what  to  make  of  this  incident  in  the 
drama  of  our  poet's  adventures.  "What  is  all  this,  Fabricio?" 
said  I ;  "  how  can  theatrical  damnation  have  conjured  up  such 
Elysian  ecstasy?"  "It  is  exactly  so,"  answered  he;  "I  told  you 
before  that  Don  Bertrandhad  thrown  in  some  of  the  circumstances; 
and  he  was  fully  convinced  that  there  was  no  defect  but  in  the 
taste  of  the  spectators.  They  might  be  very  good  judges ;  but  if 
they  were,  he  was  no  judge  at  all !    '  Nunez,'  said  he  this  morning, 

' "  Victrix  causa  Dils  placuit,  sed  victa  Catoni."* 

Your  piece  has  been  ill  received  by  the  public ;  but  against  that 
you  may  place  my  entire  approbation,  and  thus  you  ought  to  set 
your  heart  at  rest.  By  way  of  something  to  balance  the  bad  taste 
of  the  age,  I  shall  settle  an  annuity  of  two  thousand  crowns  on  you : 
go  to  my  solicitor,  and  let  him  draw  the  deed.'  We  have  been  about 
it :  the  treasurer  has  signed  and  sealed ;  my  first  quarter  is  paid  in 
advance."  ... 

I  wished  Fabricio  joy  on  the  unhappy  fate  of  "The  Count  of 
Saldagna ;"  and  probably  most  authors  would  have  envied  his  failure 
more  than  all  the  successes  that  ever  succeeded.  "You  are  in  the 
right,"  continued  he,  "  to  prefer  my  fortune  to  my  fame.  What  a 
lucky  peal  of  disapprobation  in  double  choir  I  If  the  public  had 
chosen  to  ring  the  changes  on  my  merits  rather  than  my  misdeeds, 
what  would  they  have  done  for  my  pocket?  A  mere  paltry  nothing. 
The  common  pay  of  the  theatre  might  have  kept  me  from  starving ; 
but  the  wind  of  popular  malice  has  blown  me  a  comfortable  pen- 
sion, engrossed  on  safe  and  legal  parchment." 

*  Members  of  Parliament,  and  the  ladies,  wiU  probably  expect  a  translation  of  these 
hard  words;  but  I  refer  the  former  to  their  dictionaries,  to  which  they  bade  a  long 
farewell  on  leaving  Eton  or  Harrow,  and  the  latter  to  an  extended  paraphrase  of  five 
acts  in  the  tragedy  of  Cato.  Those  of  the  softer  sex  who  may  think  the  Stoic  phil- 
osophy rude  and  uncouth  will  feel  their  nerves  vibrate  in  unison  with  the  love  scenes. 
— Tbanslatob. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  627 


CHAPTER  XI. 

SANTILLANE  GIVES  SCIPIO  A  SITUATION  ;  THE  LATTER  SETS  OUT  FOR 
NEW  SPAIN. 

MY  secretary  could  not  look  at  the  unexpected  good  luck  of 
Nunez  the  poet  without  envy  ;  he  talked  of  nothing  else  for 
a  week.  "The  whims  of  that  baggage  Fortune,"  said  he,  "are 
most  unaccountable :  she  delights  to  turn  her  lottery  wheel  into  the 
lap  of  a  sorry  author,  while  she  deals  out  her  disappointments  like 
a  stepmother  to  the  race  of  good  ones.  I  should  have  no  objection, 
though,  if  she  would  throw  me  up  a  prize  in  one  of  her  vertical  pro- 
gresses." "  That  is  likely  enough  to  happen,"  said  I,  "  and  sooner 
than  you  imagine.  Here  you  are  in  her  temple  ;  for  it  is  scarcely 
too  presumptuous  to  call  the  house  of  a  prime  minister  the  temple 
of  Fortune,  where  favors  are  conferred  by  wholesale,  and  votaries 
grow  fat  on  the  spoils  of  her  altar."  "  That  is  very  true,  sir," 
answered  he;  "but  we  must  have  patience,  and  wait  till  the  happy 
moment  comes."  "Take  my  advice  while  it  is  worth  having, 
Scipio,"  replied  I,  "  and  make  your  mind  easy ;  perhaps  you  are  on 
the  eve  of  some  good  appointment."  And'  so  it  turned  out;  for 
within  a  few  days  an  opportunity  offered  of  employing  him  ad- 
vantageously in  my  lord  duke's  service ;  and  I  did  not  suffer  the 
happy  moment  to  pass  by. 

I  was  engaged  in  chat  one  morning  with  Don  Raymond  Capons, 
the  prime  minister's  steward,  and  our  conversation  turned  on  the 
sources  of  his  excellency's  income.  "My  lord,"  said  he,  "enjoys 
the  commanderies  of  all  the  military  orders,  yielding  a  revenue  of 
forty  thousand  crowns  a  year;  and  he  is  only  obliged  to  wear  the 
cross  of  Alcantara.  Moreover,  his  three  offices  of  great  chamber- 
lain, master  of  the  horse,  and  high  chancellor  of  the  Indies,  bring 
him  in  an  income  of  two  hundred  thousand  crowns ;  and  yet  all 
this  is  nothing  in  comparison  of  the  immense  sums  which  he 
receives  through  other  transatlantic  channels;  but  you  will  be 
puzzled  to  guess  how.  When  vessels  clear  out  from  Seville  or 
Lisbon  for  those  parts  of  the  world,  he  ships  wine,  oil,  grain,  and 
other  articles,  the  produce  of  his  own  estate;  and  his  consignments 
are  duty  free.  With  that  perquisite  in  his  pocket,  he  sells  his  mer- 
chandise for  four  times  its  current  price  in  Spain,  and  then  lays  out 
the  money  in  spices,  coloring  materials,  and  other  things  which 
cost  next  to  nothing  in  the  new  world,  and  are  sold  dear  in  Europe. 
Already  has  he  realized  some  millions  by  this  traffic,  without 
detracting  from  the  dues  of  his  royal  master. 


628  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

"  You  will  easily  account  for  it,"  continued  he,  "  that  the  people 
concerned  in  carrying  on  this  trade  return  with  great  fortunes  in 
their  pockets ;  for  my  lord  thinks  it  but  reasonable  that  they  should 
divide  their  diligence  between  his  business  and  their  own." 

That  shrewd  son  of  chance  and  opportunity,  of  whom  we  are 
speaking,  overheard  our  conversation,  and  could  not  help  interrupt- 
ing Don  Raymond  to  the  following  purport :  "  Upon  my  word, 
Signor  Caporis,  I  should  like  to  be  one  of  those  people ;  for  I  am 
fond  of  travelling,  and  have  long  wished  to  see  Mexico."  "  Your 
inclinations  as  a  tourist  shall  soon  be  gratified,"  said  the  steward, 
"  if  Signor  de  Santillane  will  not  stand  in  the  way  of  your  wishes. 
However  particular  I  may  think  it  my  duty  to  be  about  the  persons 
whom  I  send  to  the  West  Indies  in  that  capacity, — and  they  are  all 
of  my  appointment, — you  shall  be  placed  on  the  list  at  all  adven- 
tures, if  your  master  wishes  it."  "  You  will  confer  on  me  a 
particular  favor,"  said  I  to  Don  Raymond ;  "  be  so  good  as  to  do  it 
in  kindness  to  me.  Scipio  is  a  young  fellow  much  in  my  good 
graces,  very  capable  in  busiftess,  and  will  be  found  irreproachable 
in  his  conduct.  In  a  word,  I  would  as  soon  answer  for  him  as 
myself." 

"  That  being  the  case,"  replied  Caporis,  "  he  has  only  to  /epair 
immediately  to  Seville :  the  ships  are  to  sail  for  South  America  in 
a  month.  I  shall  give  him  a  letter  at  his  departure  for  a  man  who 
will  put  him  in  the  way  of  making  a  fortune,  without  the  slightest 
interference  in  his  excellency's  dues  and  profits,  which  ought  to  be 
held  sacred  by  him." 

Scipio,  delighted  with  his  berth,  was  in  haste  to  set  out  for 
Seville,  with  a  thousand  crowns,  with  which  I  furnished  him,  to 
make  purchases  of  wine  and  oil  in  Andalusia,  and  enable  him  to 
trade  on  his  own  bottom  in  the  West  Indies.  And  yet,  overjoyed 
as  he  was  to  make  a  voyage,  and  as  he  hoped  his  fortune  there- 
withal, he  could  not  part  from  me  without  tears;  and  the  separation 
raised  the  waters  even  from  my  dry  fountains. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  629 


CHAPTER   XII. 

DON    ALPHONSO    DE    LEYVA  COMES    TO    MADRID;    THE    MOTIVE   OF    HIS 
JOURNEY  A  SEVERE  AFFLICTION  TO  GIL  BLAS. 

~^T"0  sooner  had  I  parted  with  Scipio  than  one  of  the  minister's 
JLN  pages  brought  me  a  note  conceived  in  the  following  terms : 
"  If  Signor  de  Santillane  will  take  the  trouble  of  calling  at  the  sign 
of  Saint  Gabriel,  in  the  street  of  Toledo,  he  will  there  see  a  friend 
who  is  not  indifferent  to  him." 

"Who  can  this  nameless  friend  possibly  be?"  said  I  to  myself. 
"  What  can  be  the  meaning  of  all  this  mystery  ?  Obviously  to  occa- 
sion me  the  pleasure  of  a  surprise."  I  attended  the  summons  imme- 
diately, and  on  my  arrival  at  the  place  appointed,  was  not  a  little 
astonished  to  find  Don  Alphonso  de  Ley  va  there.  "  Is  it  possible  I" 
exclaimed  I:  "you  here,  my  lord?"  "Yes,  my  dear  Gil  Bias, 
answered  he,  with  a  close  compression  of  my  hand  in  his,  "  it  is  Don 
Alphonso  himself."  "  Well !  but  what  brings  you  to  Madrid  ?"  said 
I.  "  You  will  be  not  a  little  startled,"  rejoined  he,  "  and  no  less 
vexed,  at  the  occasion  of  my  journey.  They  have  taken  my  govern- 
ment of  Valencia  from  me,  and  the  prime  minister  has  sent  for  me 
to  give  an  account  of  ray  conduct."  For  a  whole  quarter  of  an  hour 
I  was  like  a  man  stupefied ;  then,  recovering  the  powers  of  speech, 
"  Of  what,"  said  I,  "  are  you  accused  ?"  "  I  know  nothing  at  all  about 
it,"  answered  he ;  "  but  my  disgrace  is  probably  owing  to  a  visit  paid 
about  three  weeks  ago  to  the  Cardinal  Duke  of  Lerma,  who  was 
banished  about  a  month  since  to  his  seat  at  Denia." 

"  Yes,  indeed  1"  cried  I  in  a  pet,  "  you  may  well  attribute  your 
misfortune  to  that  imprudent  visit:  there  is  no  occasion  to  look  out 
for  causes  and  effects  elsewhere ;  but  give  me  leave  to  say  that  you 
have  not  acted  with  your  usual  good  sense,  in  claiming  acquaintance 
with  that  favorite  out  of  favor."  "  The  leap  is  taken,  and  the  neck 
broken,"  said  he ;  "  and  I  have  nothing  to  do  but  to  make  the  best 
of  a  bad  bargain :  I  shall  retire  with  my  family  to  our  paternal 
estate  at  Leyva,  where  the  remnant  of  my  days  will  glide  away  in 
peace  and  obscurity.  What  taunts  and  teases  me  is  the  requisition 
of  appearing  before  a  haughty  minister,  who  may  receive  me  with 
all  the  insolence  of  oflSce.  How  humiliating  to  the  pride  of  a  Span- 
iard !  And  yet  it  is  a  measure  of  necessity ;  but  before  the  degrading 
ceremony  took  place,  I  wanted  to  talk  it  over  with  you."  "Sir," 
said  I,  "  do  not  announce  your  arrival  to  the  minister  till  I  have 
ascertained  the  nature  of  the  reports  to  your  discredit,  for  there  are 
few  evils  without  a  remedy.    Whatever  may  be  your  alleged  crimes, 


630  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

you  will  give  me  leave,  if  you  please,  to  act  in  the  affair  as  gratitude 
and  friendship  shall  dictate."  With  this  assurance,  I  left  him  at  his 
inn,  and  promised  to  let  him  hear  from  me  soon. 

As  I  had  taken  no  active  part  in  state  affairs  since  the  -two  me- 
morials, in  which  my  eloquence  was  so  signally  displayed,  I  went  to 
look  for  Carnero,  with  a  view  to  inquire  whether  Don  Alphonso's 
government  was  really  taken  from  him.  He  answered  in  the  affir- 
mative, but  professed  not  to  know  the  reason.  Finding  how  things 
stood,  I  determined  to  apply  at  headquarters,  and  to  learn  the 
grounds  of  grievance  from  his  lordship's  own  mouth. 

My  spirits  were  really  harassed,  so  that  there  was  no  need  of  put- 
ting on  the  trapping  and  the  suits  of  woe  to  attract  my  lord  duke's 
notice.  "  What  is  the  matter,  Santillane  ?"  said  he  as  soon  as  he  saw 
me.  "  I  perceive  a  marked  unhappiness  on  your  countenance,  and 
tears  just  ready  to  trickle  down  your  cheeks.  Has  any  one  behaved 
ill  to  you?  Tell  me,  and  you  shall  have  your  revenge,"  "  My  lord," 
answered  I  in  a  melancholy  tone,  "  even  though  my  grief  would  seek 
to  hide  itself,  it  must  have  vent :  my  depair  is  past  endurance.  The 
report  goes  that  Don  Alphonso  is  no  longer  governor  of  Valencia ; 
a  severer  stroke  could  not  have  been  inflicted  on  me,"  "  What  say 
you,  Gil  Bias  ?"  replied  the  minister  in  astonishment :  "  what  interest 
can  you  take  in  this  Don  Alphonso  and  his  government  ?"  On  this 
question,  I  detailed  at  length  my  obligations  to  the  lords  of  Leyva, 
and  modestly  stated  my  own  interference  with  the  Duke  of  Lerma, 
to  obtain  the  appointment  for  my  friend. 

When  his  excellency  had  heard  me  through  with  the  most  polite 
and  kind  attention,  he  spoke  thus :  "  Make  yourself  easy,  Gil  Bias. 
Besides  my  entire  ignorance  of  what  you  have  just  told  me,  I  must 
own  that  I  considered  Don  Alphonso  as  the  cardinal's  creature. 
Only  put  yourself  in  my  place :  was  not  the  visit  to  his  eminence  a 
most  suspicious  circumstance  ?  Yet  I  am  willing  to  believe  that, 
owing  his  preferment  to  that  minister,  he  might  have  remembered 
him  in  his  adversity  from  a  motive  of  pure  gratitude.  I  am  sorry 
for  having  displaced  a  man  who  owed  his  elevation  to  you ;  but  if  I 
have  pulled  down  your  handiwork  I  can  build  it  up  again.  I  mean 
to  do  still  more  than  the  Duke  of  Lerma  for  you.  Your  friend  Don 
Alphonso  was  only  governor  of  Valencia ;  I  appoint  him  viceroy  of 
Arragon :  you  may  send  him  word  so  yourself,  and  order  him  hither 
to  take  the  oaths." 

At  these  words,  my  feelings  changed  from  extreme  grief  to  an 
excess  of  joy,  which  completely  caricatured  the  mediocrity  of  com- 
mon sense,  and  made  me  utter  an  incoherent  rhapsody  of  thanks: 
but  the  want  of  method  in  the  madness  of  my  discourse  was  not 
taken  amiss ;  and  on  my  hinting  that  Don  Alphonso  was  already  at 


AjyVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  631 

Madrid,  he  told  me  that  I  might  present  him  this  very  day.  I  ran 
to  the  sign  of  Saint  Gabriel,  and  communicated  my  own  raptures  to 
Don  Caesar's  son,  by  informing  him  of  his  new  appointment.  He 
could  not  believe  what  I  told  him,  but  found  it  a  hard  matter  to 
persuade  himself  that  the  prime  minister,  though  likely  enough  to 
be  very  well  disposed  towards  me,  should  extend  his  friendship  so 
far  as  to  dispose  of  viceroyalties  at  my  instance.  I  carried  him  with 
me  to  my  lord  duke,  who  received  him  very  affably,  complimented 
him  on  his  uniform  good  conduct  in  his  government  of  Valencia,  and 
finished  by  saying  that  the  king,  considering  him  as  qualified  for  a 
higher  station,  had  named  him  for  the  viceroyalty  of  Arragon.  "  Be- 
sides," added  he,  "  your  family  is  of  a  rank  not  to  disparage  the 
dignity  of  the  ofBce,  so  that  the  Arragonese  nobility  will  have  no 
plea  for  excepting  against  the  choice  of  the  court." 

His  excellency  made  no  mention  of  me,  and  the  public  was  kept 
in  the  dark  as  to  my  share  in  the  business ;  indeed  this  prudent 
silence  was  lucky  both,  for  Don  Alphonso  and  the  minister,  since 
the  tongues  of  defamers  would  have  been  busy  in  taking  to  pieces 
the  pretensions  of  a  viceroy  who  owed  his  preferment  to  my 
patronage. 

As  soon  as  Don  Caesar's  son  could  speak  with  certainty  of  his 
new  honors,  he  sent  off  an  express  for  Valencia  with  the  informa- 
tion to  his  father  and  Seraphina,  who  soon  arrived  in  Madrid. 
Their  first  object  Avas  to  find  me  out,  and  ply  me  thick  and  three- 
fold with  acknowledgments.  What  a  proud  and  affecting  sight  for 
me  to  behold  the  three  persons  in  the  world  nearest  my  heart  vying 
with  each  other  in  their  testimonies  of  affection  and  gratitude !  The 
pleasure  my  zeal  seemed  personally  to  give  them  was  equal  to  the 
dignity  conferred  on  their  house  by  the  post  of  viceroy.  They  even 
talked  with  me  on  a  footing  of  equality,  and  scarcely  remembered 
my  original  distance  or  servitude  in  the  fervor  of  their  present  feel- 
ings. But  not  to  dwell  on  unnecessary  topics,  Don  Alphonso  hav- 
ing taken  the  oaths  and  returned  thanks,  left  Madrid  with  his 
family  to  take  up  his  abode  at  Saragossa.  He  made  his  public 
entry  with  appropriate  magnificence,  and  the  Arragonese  caused  it 
to  appear,  by  their  cordial  reception,  that  I  had  a  very  pretty 
knack  at  picking  out  a  viceroy. 


632  ADVENTVJiES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

GIL  BLAS  MEETS  DON  GASTON  DE  COGOLLOS  AND  DON  ANDEEW  DB 
TOBDESILLAS  AT  THE  DKAWING-ROOM. 

I  WAS  up  to  the  hilt  in  joy  at  having  so  marvellously  metamor- 
phosed an  ex-governor  into  a  viceroy  ;  the  lords  of  Leyva  them- 
selves were  not  primed  and  loaded  so  near  to  bursting.  But  very 
soon  I  had  another  opportunity  of  employing  my  credit  in  the 
beaten  track  of  friendship ;  and  there  is  the  more  occasion  to  quote 
these  instances,  that  my  readers  may  clearly  discern  with  how  dif- 
ferent a  man  they  are  in  company  from  that  graceless  Gil  Bias  who, 
under  the  former  ministry,  carried  on  a  shameless  traffic  in  the 
honors  and  emoluments  of  the  state. 

One  day  I  was  waiting  in  the  king's  antechamber,  in  conversation 
with  some  noblemen,  who,  knowing  me  to  stand  well  with  the 
prime  minister,  were  not  ashamed  of  taking  me  by  the  hand.  In 
the  crowd  was  Don  Gaston  de  CogoUos,  whom  I  had  left  a  prisoner  in 
the  tower  of  Segovia.  He  was  with  Don  Andrew  de  Tordesillas,  the 
warden.  I  readily  quitted  my  company  to  go  and  renew  my 
acquaintance  with  my  two  friends.  If  they  were  astonished  at  the 
sight  of  me,  I  was  no  less  so  to  find  them  here.  After  mutual 
greetings,  Don  Gaston  said,  "  Signor  de  Santillane,  we  have  many 
inquiries  to  make  of  each  other,  and  this  place  affords  little  oppor- 
tunity for  private  intercourse ;  allow  me  to  request  your  company 
where  we  may  open  our  hearts  freely."  I  made  no  objection.  We 
pushed  our  way  through  the  crowd,  and  left  the  palace.  Don  Gas- 
ton's carriage  was  ready  waiting  in  the  street ;  we  all  three  got  into 
it,  and  drove  to  the  great  market-place,  where  the  bull-fights  are 
exhibited.     There  Cogollos  lived  in  a  very  handsome  house. 

"  Signor  Gil  Bla«,"  said  Don  Andrew  on  our  entrance,  "  at  your 
departure  from  Segovia  you  seemed  to  have  conceived  a  thorough 
hatred  against  the  court,  and  to  have  formed  a  settled  purpose  of 
abandoning  it  forever."  "  Such  was,  in  fact,  my  design,"  answered 
I ;  "  nor  were  my  sentiments  at  all  changed  during  the  lifetiire  of 
the  late  king ;  but  when  the  prince  his  son  came  to  the  throne,  I 
had  a  mind  to  see  whether  the  new  monarch  would  know  me  again. 
He  did  so,  and  received  me  favorably,  with  a  strong  recommenda- 
tion to  the  prime  minister,  who  admitted  me  to  his  friendship,  and 
took  me  more  into  his  confidence  than  ever  did  the  Duke  of  Lerma. 
This,  Signor  Don  Andrew,  is  my  story.  And  now  tell  me  whether 
you  still  bold  your  office  in  the  tower  of  Segovia."  "No,  indeed," 
answered  he ;  "  my  lord  duke  has  removed  me,  and  put  another  in 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  633 

ray  room.  He  probably  considered  me  as  entirely  aevoted  to  his 
predecessor."  "  And  I,"  said  Don  Gaston,  "  was  set  at  liberty  for 
the  contrary  reason.  The  prime  minister  was  no  sooner  informed 
that  my  imprisonment  was  by  the  Duke  of  Lerma's  order,  than  he 
ordered  me  to  be  released.  The  present  business,  Signor  Gil  Bias,  is 
to  relate  the  subsequent  particulars  of  my  adventures. 

"The  first  thing  I  did,"  continued  he,  "after  thanking  Don 
Andrew  for  his  kind  attentions  during  my  confinement,  was  to  re- 
pair to  Madrid.  I  presented  myself  before  the  Count  Duke  of  Oli- 
varez,  who  said,  *  You  need  not  be  apprehensive  of  any  blemish  on 
your  character  in  consequence  of  your  late  misfortune ;  you  are 
honorably  acquitted :  nay,  your  innocence  is  so  much  the  more 
satisfactorily  established,  as  the  Marquis  of  Villareal,  with  whom 
you  were  supposed  to  be  implicated,  was  not  guilty.  Though  a 
Portuguese,  and  related  to  the  Duke  of  Braganza,  he  is  less  in  his 
interests  than  in  those  of  the  king  my  master.  That  connection, 
therefore,  ought  not  to  have  been  imputed  to  you  as  a  crime;  but  to 
repair  your  wrongs,  the  king  has  given  you  a  lieutenant's  commission 
in  the  Spanish  guards.'  This  I  accepted,  begging  as  a  favor  of  his 
excellency  to  allow  me,  before  I  joined  my  regiment,  to  go  and  see 
my  aunt,  Donna  Eleonora  de  Laxarilla,  at  Coria.  The  minister 
gave  me  leave  of  absence  for  a  month,  and  I  departed  with  only  one 
servant. 

"  We  had  got  beyond  Colmenar,  and  were  threading  a  narrow 
pass  between  two  mountains,  when  we  came  within  sight  of  a 
gentleman  defending  himself  bravely  against  three  men,  who  all 
fell  upon  him  together.  I  did  not  hesitate  about  going  to  his  aid, 
but  hastened  forward  and  planted  myself  by  his  side.  I  remarked, 
while  we  were  fighting,  that  our  enemies  were  masked,  and  that  we 
had  to  do  with  expert  swordsmen.  But  we  triumphed  over  the 
united  advantages  of  their  skill  and  disparity.  I  ran  one  of  the 
three  through  the  body ;  he  fell  from  his  horse,  and  the  two  others 
immediately  betook  themselves  to  flight.  The  victory  indeed  was 
scarcely  less  fatal  to  us  than  to  the  wretch  whom  I  had  killed,  for 
we  were  both  dangerously  wounded.  But  conceive  my  surprise, 
when  I  discovered  the  gentleman  to  be  Combados,  the  husband  of 
Donna  Helena.  He  was  no  less  astonished  at  recognizing  me  as 
his  defender.  'Ah,  Don  Gaston  !'  exclaimed  he,  '  was  it  you,  then, 
who  came  to  my  assistance  ?  When  you  took  my  part  so  generously, 
you  little  thought  it  was  the  person  who  had  snatched  your  mistress 
from  you.'  ' I  really  did  not  know  it,'  answered  I ;  'but  though  I 
had,  do  you  think  I  could  have  wavered  about  doing  as  I  have 
done?  Can  you  entertain  so  ill  an  opinion  of  me  as  to  believe  my 
soul  so  sordid  ?'     '  No,  no,'  replied  he ;  '  I  think  better  of  you  ;  and 


634  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

should  I  die  of  my  wounds,  it  will  be  my  prayer  that  yours  may 
not  disable  you  from  profiting  by  my  death.'  'Corabados/  said  I, 
*  though  I  have  not  yet  forgotten  Donna  Helena,  know  that  I  do 
not  pant  after  the  possession  of  her  charms  at  the  expense  of  your 
life ;  so  far  from  it,  that  I  congratulate  myself  on  having  contributed 
to  your  rescue  from  assassination,  since  by  so  doing  I  have  per- 
formed an  acceptable  service  to  your  wife.' 

"  While  we  were  communing  together,  my  servant  dismounted, 
and  drawing  near  to  the  gentleman  stretched  at  his  length,  took  off 
his  mask,  when  Combados,  with  sensations  of  gratitude  for  his  de- 
liverance, distinctly  traced  the  features.  '  It  is  Caprara,'  exclaimed 
he ;  '  that  treacherous  cousin,  who,  in  mere  disgust  at  having  missed 
a  rich  inheritance  which  he  had  unjustly  disputed  with  me,  has 
long  since  cherished  a  murderous  design  against  my  life,  and  fixed 
on  this  day  to  put  it  in  execution ;  but  Heaven  has  turned  him  over 
to  its  determined  vengeance,  and  made  him  the  victim  of  his  own 
attempt.' 

"  While  this  conversation  was  going  on,  our  blood  was  flowing  at 
the  same  rate,  and  we  were  becoming  more  exhausted  every  minute. 
Nevertheless,  disabled  as  we  were,  we  had  strength  enough  to  reach 
the  town  of  Villarejo,  which  lies  within  a  gunshot  or  two  from  the 
field  of  battle.  At  the  very  first  house  of  call  we  sent  for  surgeons. 
The  most  expert  came  at  our  summons.  He  examined  our  wounds, 
and  reported  them  as  dangerous.  After  taking  off  the  bandages 
and  dressing  them  a  second  time,  he  pronounced  those  of  Don  Bias 
to  be  mortal.  Of  mine  he  thought  more  favorably,  and  the  event 
corresponded  with  his  prognostic. 

"  Combados,  finding  himself  consigned  to  the  grave,  thought  only 
of  due  preparation  for  a  most  serious  event.  He  sent  an  express  to 
his  wife,  with  an  account  of  what  had  happened,  particularizing  his 
present  sad  condition.  Donna  Helena  soon  arrived  at  Villarejo. 
Her  mind  was  drawn  different  ways  by  two  opposite  occasions  of 
distress — the  hazard  of  her  husband's  life,  and  the  fear  of  feeling 
the  revival  of  a  half  extinguished  flame  at  the  sight  of  me.  This 
aight  occasioned  her  to  experience  a  terrible  agitation.  '  Madam,' 
said  Don  Bias  when  she  appeared  in  his  presence,  '  you  are  come 
just  in  time  to  receive  my  farewell.  I  am  at  the  point  of  death,  and 
I  consider  my  fate  as  a  punishment  from  Heaven  for  having  taken 
you  from  Don  Gaston  by  a  feint ;  far  from  murmuring  at  it,  I  exhort 
you  with  my  last  breath  to  restore  to  him  a  heart  which  I  had  stolen 
from  him.'  Donna  Helena  answered  him  only  by  her  tears ;  and 
indeed  it  was  the  best  answer  she  could  make ;  for  she  had  neither 
forgotten  her  first  love  nor  the  artifices  whereby  she  had  been  in- 
fluenced to  renounce  her  plighted  faith. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  635 

"  It  happened,  as  the  surgeon  had  anticipated,  that  in  less  than 
three  days  Combados  died  of  his  wounds,  while  mine,  on  the  contrary, 
wore  the  appearance  of  convalescence.  The  young  widow,  whom 
no  earthly  considerations  could  detach  from  the  care  of  transporting 
her  late  husband's  remains  to  Coria,  that  they  might  be  deposited 
with  due  honors  in  the  family  vault,  left  Villarejo  on  her  return, 
after  inquiring,  merely  as  a  matter  of  course,  how  I  was  going  on. 
As  soon  as  I  was  well  enough  to  be  removed,  I  bent  my  course  to 
Coria,  where  my  recovery  was  soon  ascertained.  My  aunt,  Donna 
Eleonora,  and  Don  George  de  Galisteo,  were  determined  that  my 
marriage  with  Helena  should  take  place  forthwith,  lest  some  new 
caprice  of  fortune  should  part  us  once  more.  The  ceremony  was 
privately  performed,  on  account  of  the  late  melancholy  event,  and 
within  a  few  days  I  returned  to  Madrid  with  Donna  Helena.  As 
my  leave  of  absence  had  expired,  I  was  afraid  lest  the  minister 
should  have  superseded  me  in  my  lieutenancy ;  but  he  had  not  filled 
up  the  vacancy,  and  received  my  apologies  very  graciously. 

"Thus  am  I,"  continued  CogoUos,  "lieutenant  of  the  Spanish 
guards,  and  my  situation  is  exactly  to  my  mind.  The  circle  of  my 
friends  is  respectable  and  pleasant,  and  I  live  at  my  ease  among 
them."  "  Would  I  could  say  .'as  much  I"  exclaimed  Don  Andrew ; 
"but  I  am  very  far  from  being  satisfied  with  my  lot:  I  have  lost 
my  appointment,  which  was  not  without  its  advantages,  and  have 
no  friends  of  sufficient  interest  to  procure  me  a  better  berth,"  "  Ex- 
cuse me,  Signor  Don  Andrew,"  cried  I,  with  a  sort  of  upbraiding 
smile,  "  you  have  a  friend  in  me  who  may  chance  to  be  better  than 
no  friend  at  all.  I  have  told  you  already  that  I  am  a  greater 
favorite  with  my  lord  duke  than  with  the  Duke  o'f  Lerma;  and 
will  you  tell  me  to  my  /ace  that  you  have  no  interest  at  court? 
Have  you  not  already  experienced  the  contrary  ?  Recollect  that, 
through  the  Archbishop  of  Granada's  powerful  recommendation,  I 
procured  you  a  nomination  for  Mexico,  where  you  would  have  made 
your  fortune,  if  love  had  not  stepped  in  and  marred  it  at  Alicant. 
My  means  are  now  more  extensive,  since  I  have  the  ear  of  the  prime 
minister."  "  I  give  myself  up  to  you,  then,"  replied  Tordesillas ; 
"  but  do  not  send  me  into  New  Spain,  though  the  first  appointment 
in  the  colonies  were  at  your  disposal." 

Here  we  were  interrupted  by  Donna  Helena,  who  came  into  the 
room,  and  improved  even  upon  the  visions  of  my  fancy  by  the 
reality  of  her  charms,  (^ogollos  introduced  me  as  the  companion 
who  had  solaced  the  tedious  hours  of  his  imprisonment.  "  Yes, 
madam,"  said  I  to  Donna  Helena,  "my  conversation  did  indeed 
soothe  his  sorrows,  for  it  turned  on  you."  The  compliment  was 
not  thrown  away,  and  I  took  my  leave  with  repeated  congratula- 


636  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAH. 

tions.  With  respect  to  Tordesillas,  I  assured  him  that  within 
a  week  he  should  know  how  far  my  power,  as  well  as  my  will, 
extended. 

Nor  were  these  mere  words.  On  the  very  next  day  the  opportu- 
nity occurred.  " Santillane,"  said  his  excellency,  "the  place  of 
governor  in  the  royal  prison  of  Valladolid  is  vacant :  it  is  worth 
more  than  three  hundred  pistoles  a  year,  and  is  yours  if  you  will 
accept  of  it."  "Not  if  it  were  worth  ten  thousand  ducats,"  an- 
swered I,  "for  it  would  carry  me  away  from  your  lordship." 
"But,"  replied  the  minister,  "you  may  fill  it  by  deputy,  and  only 
visit  the  prison  occasionally."  "That  is  as  it  may  be,"  rejoined  I; 
"  but  I  shall  only  accept  it  on  condition  of  resigning  in  favor  of 
Don  Andrew  de  Tordesillas,  a  brave  and  loyal  gentleman ;  I  should 
like  to  give  him  this  place  in  acknowledgment  of  his  kindness  to 
me  in  the  tower  of  Segovia." 

This  plea  made  the  minister  laugh  heartily,  and  say,  "  As  far  as 
I  see,  Gil  Bias,  you  mean  to  make  yourself  a  general  patron.  Even 
so  be  it,  my  friend  ;  the  vacancy  is  yours  for  Tordesillas ;  but  tell 
me  unfeignedly  what  fellow-feeling  you  have  in  the  business,  for 
you  are  not  such  a  fool  as  to  throw  away  your  interest  for  nothing." 
"  My  lord,"  answered  I,  "  Don  Andrew  charged  me  nothing  for  all 
his  acts  of  friendship  ;  and  should  not  a  man  repay  his  obligations?" 
"  You  are  become  highly  moral  and  self-mortified,"  replied  his  ex- 
cellency ;  "  rather  more  so  than  under  the  last  administration." 
"Precisely  so,"  rejoined  I;  "then  evil  communication  corrupted  my 
principles ;  bargain  and  sale  were  the  order  of  the  day,  and  I  con- 
formed to  the  established  practice;  now,  all  preferment  is  allotted 
on  the  footing  of  a  meritorious  free  gift,  and  my  integrity  shall 
not  be  the  last  to  fall  in  with  the  fashion." 


CHAPTER    XIV. 

SANTILLANE'S    visit    to    poet    NUNEZ;     THE    COMPANY    AND    CONVER- 
SATION. 

ONE  day,  after  dinner,  a  fancy  seized  me  to  go  and  see  the  poet 
of  the  Asturias,  feeling  a  sort  of  curiosity  to  know  on  what 
floor  he  lodged.  I  repaired  to  the  house  of  Signer  Don  Bertrand 
Gomez  del  Ribero,  and  asked  for  Nunez.  "  He  does  not  live  here 
now,"  said  the  porter,  "  but  over  the  way,  in  apartments  at  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  687 

back  of  the  house."  I  went  thither,  and,  crossing  a  small  court, 
entered  an  unfurnished  parlor,  where  my  friend  Fabricio  was 
sitting  at  table,  doing  the  honors  to  five  or  six  guests  from  the 
hamlet  and  liberty  of  Parnassus. 

They  were  at  the  latter  end  of  a  feast,  and  of  course  at  the 
beginning  of  an  affray  ;  but  as  soon  as  they  perceived  me,  a  dead 
eilence  succeeded  to  their  obstreperous  argumentation.  Nunez  rose 
from  his  seat  with  much  pomp  and  circumstance  of  politeness  to 
receive  me,  saying,  "Gentlemen,  Signor  de  Santillane!  He  does 
me  the  honor  to  visit  me  under  this  humble  roof;  as  the  favorite 
of  the  prime  minister,  you  will  all  join  with  me  in  tendering  your 
humble  services."  At  this  introduction,  the  worshipful  company 
got  up  and  made  their  best  bows ;  for  my  rank  could  not  fail  of  pro- 
curing me  respect  from  the  manufacturers  of  dedications.  Though 
I  was  neither  hungry  nor  thirsty,  it  was  impossible  not  to  sit  down 
and  drink  a  toast  in  such  society. 

My  presence  appearing  to  be  a  restraint,  "  Gentlemen,"  said  I, 
"it  should  seem  that  I  have  interrupted  your  conversation :  resume 
it,  or  you  drive  me  away,"  "  My  learned  friends,"  said  Fabricio, 
"were  discussing  the  'Iphigenia'  of  .Euripides."  The  bachelor, 
Melchior  de  Vill6gas,  a  clever  man  of  the  first  rank  in  the  republic 
of  letters,  resumed  the  topic  by  asking  Don  Jacinto  de  Romerate 
which  was  the  point  of  interest  in  th3,t  tragedy.  Don  Jacinto 
ascribed  it  to  the  imminent  danger  of  Iphigenia.  The  bachelor 
contended,  offering  to  prove  his  proposition  by  all  the  evidence  ad- 
missible at  the  bar  of  logic  or  criticism,  that  the  danger  of  a 
trumpery  girl  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  real  sympathy  of  that 
affecting  piece.  "What  has  to  do  with  it  then?"  bawled  the  old 
licentiate  Gabriel  of  Leon,  indignantly.  "  It  turns  with  the  wind," 
replied  the  bachelor. 

The  whole  company  burst  into  a  shout  of  laughter  at  this  asser- 
tion, which  they  were  far  from  considering  as  serious ;  and  I  myself 
thought  that  Melchior  had  only  launched  it  by  way  of  adding  the 
zest  of  wit  to  the  severity  of  critical  discussion.  But  I  was  out  in 
my  calculation  respecting  the  character  of  that  eminent  scholar:  he 
had  not  a  grain  of  sprightliness  or  pleasantry  in  his  whole  composi- 
tion. "  Laugh  as  you  please,  gentlemen,"  replied  he,  very  coolly ; 
"  I  maintain  that  there  is  no  circumstance  but  the  wind,  unless  it  be 
the  weathercock,  to  interest,  to  strike,  to  rouse  the  passions  of  the 
spectator.  Figure  to  yourself  a  multitudinous  army  assembled  for 
the  purpose  of  laying  siege  to  Troy ;  take  into  the  account  the  eager 
haste  of  the  officers  and  common  men  to  carry  their  enterprise  into 
execution,  that  they  may  return  with  their  best  legs  foremost  into 
Greece,  where  they  have  left  everything  most  dear  to  them— their 


638  ADVENTURES  OP  OIL  BLAS. 

household  gods,  their  wives  and  their  children :  all  this  while  a  mis- 
chievous wind  from  the  wrong  quarter  keeps  them  port-bound  at 
Aulis,  and,  as  it  were,  drives  a  nail  into  the  very  head  of  the 
expedition ;  so  that,  till  better  weather,  it  was  impossible  to  go  and 
lay  siege  to  Priam's  town.  Wind  and  weather,  therefore,  make  up 
the  interest  of  this  tragedy.  My  good  wishes  are  with  the  Greeks ; 
my  whole  faculties  are  wrapped  up  in  the  success  of  their  design ; 
the  sailing  of  their  fleet  is  with  me  the  only  hinge  of  the  fable,  and 
I  look  at  the  danger  of  Iphigenia  with  somewhat  of  a  self-interested 
complacency,  because  by  her  death  the  winding  up  of  the  story  into 
a  brisk  and  favorable  gale  was  likely  to  be  accelerated." 

Aa  soon  as  Villegas  had  finished  his  criticism,  the  laugh  burst  out 
more  than  ever  at  his  expense.  Nunez  was  sly  enough  to  side  with 
him,  that  a  fairer  scope  and  broader  mark  might  be  presented  to  the 
shafts  of  malicious  wit  which  were  let  fly  from  all  quarters  in  the 
shipman's  card  at  this  poster  of  the  sea  and  land.  But  the  bachelor, 
eyeing  them  all  with  sublime  indifference  and  supreme  contempt, 
gave  them  to  understand  how  low  in  the  list  of  the  ignorant  and 
vulgar  they  ranked  in  his  estimation.  Every  moment  did  I  expect 
to  see  these  vaporing  spirits  kindle  into  a  blaze,  and  wage  war 
against  the  hairy  honors  of  each  other's  brainless  skulls ;  but  the 
joke  was  not  carried  to  that  length:  they  confined  their  hostilities  to 
opprobrious  epithets,  and  took  their  leave  when  they  had  eaten  and 
drunk  as  much  as  they  could  get. 

After  their  departure,  I  asked  Fabricio  why  he  had  separated  him- 
self from  his  treasurer,  and  whether  they  had  quarrelled.  "  Quar- 
relled I"  answered  he  :  "  Heaven  defend  me  from  such  a  misfortune  I 
I  am  on  better  terms  than  ever  with  Signor  Don  Bertrand,  who  gave 
his  consent  to  my  living  apart  from  him :  here,  therefore,  I  receive 
my  friends,  and  take  my  pleasure  with  them  unmolested.  Yoa 
know  very  well  that  I  am  not  of  a  temper  to  lay  up  treasures  for 
those  who  are  to  come  after  me ;  and  as  it  happens  luckily,  I  am 
now  in  circumstances  to  giv&  my  little  classical  ■entertainments 
every  day."  "  I  am  delighted  at  it,  my  dear  Nunez,"  replied  I,  "  and 
once  more  wish  you  joy  on  the  success  of  your  last  tragedy :  the 
great  Lope,  by  his  eight  hundred  dramatic  pieces,  never  made  a 
quarter  of  the  money  which  you  have  got  by  the  damnation  of  your 
'  Count  de  Saldagna.' " 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  689 


BOOK   XII. 


CHAPTER   I. 

GIL   BLAS  SENT   TO   TOLEDO  BY  THE    MINISTER.     THE   PUBPOSE  OP  HIS 
JOUENEY  AND  ITS  SUCCESS. 

FOR  nearly  a  month  his  excellency  had  been  saying  to  me  every 
day,  "  Santillane,  the  time  is  approaching  when  I  shall  call 
your  choicest  powers  of  address  into  action."  But  the  time  that  was 
coming  never  came.  It  is  a  long  lane,  however,  where  there  is  no 
turning ;  and  his  excellency  at  length  spoke  to  me  nearly  as  follows : 
*'  They  say  that  there  is  in  the  company  of  comedians  at  Toledo  a 
young  actress  of  much  note  for  her  personal  and  professional  fasci- 
nations ;  it  is  affirmed  that  she  dances  and  sings  like  all  the  Muses 
and  Graces  put  together,  and  that  the  whole  theatre  rings  with  ap- 
plause at  her  performance ;  to  these  perfections  is  added  matchless 
and  irresistible  beauty.  Such  a  star  should  only  shine  within  the 
circle  of  a  court.  The  king  has  a  taste  for  the  stage,  for  music,  and 
for  dancing ;  nor  must  he  be  debarred  from  the  pleasure  of  seeing 
and  hearing  such  a  prodigy.  I  have  determined  on  sending  you  to 
Toledo,  that  you  may  judge  for  yourself  whether  she  really  is  so  ex- 
traordinary an  actress ;  on  your  opinion  of  her  merit  my  measures 
shall  be  taken ;  for  I  have  unlimited  confidence  in  your  discern- 
ment." 

I  undertook  to  bring  his  lordship  a  good  account  of  this  busii^ess, 
and  made  my  arrangements  for  setting  out  with  one  servant,  but  not 
in  the  minister's  livery,  by  way  of  conducting  matters  more  warily ; 
and  that  precaution  relished  well  with  his  excellency.  On  my 
arrival  at  Toledo,  I  had  scarcely  alighted  at  the  inn  when  the  land- 
lord, taking  me  for  some  country  gentleman,  said,  "  Please,  your 
honor,  you  are  probably  come  to  be  present  at  the  august  ceremony 
of  an  auto  da  f6  to-morrow."  I  answered  in  the  affirmative,  the  more 
completely  to  mislead  him  and  keep  my  own  counsel.  "  You  will 
see,"  replied  he,  "  one  of  the  prettiest  processions  you  ever  saw  in 
your  life :  there  are  said  to  be  more  than  a  hundred  prisoners,  and 
ten  of  them  are  to  be  roasted." 

In  good  truth,  next  morning,  before  sunrise,  I  heard  all  the  bells 
in  the  town  peal  merrily  ;  and  the  design  of  their  bob-majors  was  to 
acquaint  the  people  that  the  pastime  was  about  to  begin.  Curious 
to  see  what  sort  of  a  recreation  it  was,  I  dressed  in  a  hurry,  and 


640  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

posted  to  the  scene  of  action.  All  about  that  quarter,  and  along  the 
streets  where  the  procession  was  to  pass,  were  scattblds,  on  one  of 
which  I  purchased  a  standing.  The  Dominicans  walked  first,  pre- 
ceded by  the  banner  of  the  Inquisition,  These  Christian  fathers 
were  immediately  followed  by  the  hapless  victims  of  the  holy  office 
selected  for  this  day's  burnt-otfering.  These  devoted  wretches  walked 
one  by  one,  with  their  head  and  feet  bare,  each  of  them  with  a  tapei 
in  his  liand,  and  a  fiery,  not  baptismal  godfather  by  his  side.  Sonic 
had  large  yellow  scapularies,  worked  with  crosses  of  St.  Andrew  in 
red  ;  others  wore  sugar-loaf  caps  of  paper,  illustrated  with  flames  and 
diabolical  figures  of  all  sorts,  by  way  of  emblem. 

As  I  looked  narrowly  at  these  objects  of  religious  gaze,  with  a 
compassion  in  my  heart  which  might  have  been  construed  criminal 
had  it  run  over  from  my  eyes,  I  fancied  that  the  reverend  Father 
Hilary  and  his  companion  brother  Ambrose  were  among  those  who 
figured  in  the  sugar-loaf  caps.  They  passed  too  near  for  me  to  be  de- 
ceived. "  What  do  I  see  ?"  thought  I  inwardly.  "  Heaven,  wearied 
out  with  the  wicked  lives  of  these  two  scoundrels,  has  given  them  up 
to  the  justice  of  the  Inquisition !"  My  whole  frame  trembled  at  the 
thought,  and  my  spirits  were  scarcely  equal  to  support  me  from  faint- 
ing. My  connection  with  these  knaves,  the  adventure  at  Xelva,  all 
our  pranks  in  partnership,  rushed  upon  my  memory,  and  I  did  not 
know  how  sufliciently  to  thank  God  for  having  preserved  me  from 
St.  Andrew's  crosses  and  the  painted  devils  on  the  paper  caps. 

When  the  ceremony  was  over,  I  returned  to  the  inn  with  my  heart 
sickening  at  the  dreadful  sight ;  but  painful  impressions  soon  wear 
away,  and  I  thought  only  of  my  commission  and  its  due  accom- 
plishment. I  waited  with  impatience  for  play-time,  as  the  moment 
and  scene  of  my  commencing  operations.  On  the  opening  of  the 
doors  I  repaired  to  the  theatre,  and  took  my  seat  next  to  a  knight 
of  Alcantara.  We  soon  got  into  chat.  "  Sir,"  said  I,  "  the  players 
here  have  been  represented  to  me  in  very  favorable  terms :  may  I 
give  credit  to  general  report  ?"  "  The  company  is  not  contemptible," 
replied  the  knight ;  "  they  have  some  first-rate  performers ;  among 
the  rest,  the  peerless  Lucretia,  an  actress  of  fourteen,  who  will 
astonish  you  ;  and  she  plays  one  of  her  best  parts  to-night." 

On  the  drawing  up  of  the  curtain,  two  actresses  came  on,  witli 
every  advantage  of  dress  and  stage  effect;  but  neither  of  them  could 
possibly  be  the  object  of  my  search.  At  length  Lucretia  made  her 
appearance  at  the  back  of  the  scene,  and  walked  forward  amidst  a 
thunder  of  applause.  "Ah  I  this  is  she,  indeed,"  thought  I ;  "  and 
a  delicate  specimen  of  loveliness,  as  I  am  a  sinner !"  In  her  very 
first  speech  she  proved  herself  a  child  of  nature,  with  energy  and 
conception  far  above  her  years ;  and  the  approbation  of  a  provincial 


ADVENTURES  OF  QIL  BIAS.  641 

audience  was  confirmed  by  my  metropolitan  judgment.  The  knight 
was  happy  to  find  I  liked  her,  and  assured  me  that  if  I  had  heard 
her  sing,  my  ears  might  have  rejoiced  to  the  sorrow  of  my  heart. 
Her  dancing,  too,  he  represented  as  not  less  formidable  to  the  free 
will  of  lordly  man.  I  inquired  what  youth,  blessed  as  the  immortal 
gods,  had  the  exquisite  happiness  of  bringing  himself  to  beggary 
for  so  sweet  a  girl.  "  She  is  under  no  avowed  protection,"  said  he ; 
"  and  scandal  has  not  coupled  her  name  with  private  license ;  but 
Lucretia  must  take  care  of  herself,  for  she  is  under  the  wing  of 
her  aunt  Estella ;  and  there  is  not  an  actress  in  the  company  so 
warmly  fledged  for  hatching  the  tender  passions  into  life." 

At  the  name  of  Estella,  I  inquired  with  some  eagerness  who  she 
was.  "  One  of  our  best  performers,"  said  my  informant.  "  She 
does  not  play  to-night,  to  our  great  loss,  for  her  cast  is  that  of 
abigails,  and  she  humors  them  to  perfection.  A  little  too  broad, 
perhaps,  but  that  is  a  fault  on  the  right  side."  From  the  features 
of  the  description,  there  could  be  no  doubt  but  this  must  be 
Laura — that  lady  so  notorious  in  these  memoirs,  whom  I  left  at 
Granada. 

To  make  assurance  doubly  sure,  I  went  behind  the  scenes  after 
the  play.  There  she  was,  in  the  green-room,  flirting  with  some  men 
of  fashion,  who  probably  endured  the  aunt  for  the  sake  of  the  niece. 
I  came  up  to  pay  my  devotions ;  but  whim,  or  perhaps  revenge  for 
my  cutting  and  running  from  Granada,  determined  her  to  put  on  the 
stranger,  and  receive  my  compliments  with  so  discouraging  a  cold- 
ness as  to  throw  me  into  some  little  confusion.  Instead  of  laughing 
it  off",  I  was  fool  enough  to  be  angry,  and  withdrew  in  a  choleric 
determination  to  return  next  day.  "  Laura  shall  smart  for  this  I" 
said  I ;  "  her  niece  shall  not  appear  at  court ;  I  will  tell  the  min- 
ister that  she  dances  like  a  she  bear,  has  formed  her  bravura  be- 
tween the  scream  of  a  pea-hen  and  the  cackle  of  a  goose,  acts  like 
a  puppet,  and  Comprehends  like  an  idiot." 

Such  was  my  scheme  of  revenge,  but  it  proved  abortive.  Just  as 
I  was  going  out  of  town,  a  foot-boy  brought  me  the  following  note : 
"  Forget  and  forgive,  and  follow  the  bearer."  I  obeyed,  and  found 
Laura  at  her  dressing-table  in  very  elegant  apartments  near  the 
theatre. 

She  rose  to  welcome  me,  saying,  "Signor  Gil  Bias,  you  have  every 
reason  to  be  offended  at  your  reception  behind  the  scenes,  which 
was  out  of  character  between  such  olr"  friends ;  but  I  really  was 
most  abominably  disconcerted.  Just  as  you  came  up,  one  of  our 
gentlemen  had  brought  me  some  scandalous  stories  about  my  niece, 
whose  honor  has  always  been  dearer  to  me  than  my  own.  On 
coming  to  myself,  I  immediately  sent  my  servant  to  find  you  out, 
41 


642  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

with  the  intention  of  making  you  amends  to-day."  "  You  have 
done  so  already,  my  dear  Laura,"  said  I ;  "  let  us  therefore  talk 
over  old  times.  You  may  remember  that  I  left  you  in  a  very  tick- 
lish predicament,  when  conscience  and  the  fear  of  punishment 
drove  me  so  precipitately  from  Granada.  How  did  you  get  off  with 
your  Portuguese  lover ?"  " Easily  enough,"  answered  Laura;  "do 
not  you  know  that  in  those  cases  men  are  mere  fools,  and  acquit  us 
women  without  even  calling  for  our  defence? 

"  I  faced  the  Marquis  of  Marialva  out  that  you  were  my  very 
brother,  and  drew  upon  my  impudence  for  the  support  of  my  credit. 
'  Do  you  not  see,'  said  I  to  my  Portuguese  dupe,  '  that  this  is  all  the 
contrivance  of  jealousy  and  rage?  My  rival,  Narcissa,  infuriated 
at  my  possession  of  a  heart  which  she  had  vainly  attempted  to  gain, 
has  bribed  the  candle-snuflfer  to  assert  that  he  has  seen  me  as  Ar- 
senia's  waiting-woman  at  Madrid.  It  is  an  abominable  falsehood  ; 
the  widow  of  Don  Antonio  Coello  has  always  been  too  high  in  her 
notions  to  be  the  hanger-on  of  a  theatrical  mistress.  Besides,  what 
completely  disproves  the  whole  allegation  is  my  brother's  precipitate 
retreat ;  if  he  were  here,  it  would  be  a  subject  of  evidence ;  but 
Narcissa  must  have  devised  some  stratagem  to  get  him  out  of  the 
way.' 

"  These  reasons,"  continued  Laura,  "  were  not  the  most  con- 
vincing in  the  world,  but  they  did  very  well  for  the  marquis,  and 
that  good,  easy  nobleman  continued  his  confidence  till  his  return  to 
Portugal.  This  happened  soon  after  your  departure,  and  Zapata's 
wife  had  the  pleasure  of  seeing  me  lose  what  she  could  not  win. 
After  this  I  stayed  some  years  longer  at  Granada,  till  the  company 
was  broken  up  in  consequence  of  some  squabbles,  which  will  take 
place  in  mimic  as  well  as  in  real  life.  Some  went  to  Seville,  others 
to  Cordova,  and  I  came  to  Toledo,  where  I  have  been  for  these  ten 
years  with  my  niece  Lucretia,  whose  performance  you  must  have 
seen  last  night." 

This  was  too  much  to  be  taken  gravely.  Laura  inquired  why  I 
laughed.  "Can  that  be  a  question?"  said  I.  "You  have  neither 
brother  nor  sister,  one  or  other  of  which  is  a  necessary  ingredient  in 
an  aunt.  Besides,  when  I  calculate  in  my  mind  the  lapse  of  time 
since  our  last  separation,  and  compare  that  period  with  the  age  of 
your  niece,  it  is  more  than  possible  that  your  relationship  may  be 
in  a  nearer  degree  of  kin." 

"  I  understand  you,"  replied  Don  Antonio's  widow,  with  some- 
thing like  a  moral  tinge  of  red  in  her  cheek.  "  You  are  an  accurate 
chronologist  I  There  is  no  garbling  facts  in  defiance  of  your  mem- 
ory. Well,  then,  Lucretia  is  my  daughter  by  the  Marquis  of  Mari- 
alva ;  it  was  extremely  wrong,  but  I  cannot  conceal  it  from  you." 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLA8.  643 

"  The  confession  must  indeed  be  a  shock  to  your  modesty,"  said  I, 
"  after  telling  me  yourself  what  pranks  you  played  with  the  hospital 
steward  at  Zamora.  I  must  tell  you,  moreover,  that  Lucretia  is  an 
article  of  so  superior  a  quality  as  to  render  you  a  public  benefactor 
by  having  thrown  her  into  the  market.  It  were  to  be  wished  that 
the  stolen  embraces  of  all  your  fraternity  might  be  blessed  with 
Iruitfulness,  if  they  could  secure  to  themselves  a  pattern  for  breed- 
ing after  your  sample." 

Should  any  sarcastic  reader,  comparing  this  passage  with  some 
circumstances  related  while  I  was  the  marquis's  secretary,  suspect 
me  of  being  entitled  to  dispute  the  honors  of  paternity  with  that 
nobleman,  I  blush  to  say  that  my  claims  are  entirely  out  of  the 
question. 

I  laid  open  my  principal  adventures  to  Laura  in  my  turn,  as  well 
as  the  present  state  of  my  affairs.  She  listened  with  interest,  and 
said,  "  Friend  Santillane,  you  seem  to  play  a  principal  part  on  the 
stage  of  the  world,  and  I  congratulate  you  most  heartily.  Should 
Lucretia  be  engaged  at  Madrid,  I  flatter  myself  she  will  find  a 
powerful  protector  in  Signor  de  Santillane."  "  Doubt  it  not," 
answered  I ;  "  your  daughter  may  have  her  engagement  whenever 
you  please ;  I  can  promise  you  that,  without  presuming  too  much 
on  my  interest."  "  I  will  take  you  at  your  word,"  replied  Laura, 
"  and  would  set  out  to-morrow  were  I  not  under  articles  to  this 
company."  "  An  order  from  court  will  cut  the  knot  of  any  articles," 
rejoined  I ;  "and  that  I  take  upon  myself:  you  will  have  it  within  a 
week.  It  is  an  act  of  chivalry  to  rescue  Lucretia  from  Toledo: 
such  a  pretty  little  actress  belongs  to  the  royal  court,  as  parcel  of 
the  manor." 

Lucretia  came  into  the  room  just  as  I  was  talking  of  her.  The 
goddess  Hebe  herself  never  looked  better  in  her  best  days ;  it  was 
nature  in  the  bud,  exhaling  the  sweets  of  her  earliest  bloom,  but 
promising  a  more  luxuriant  waste  of  treasure.  She  was  just  up,  and 
her  natural  beauty,  without  the  aid  of  art,  communicated  the  most 
rapturous  sensations.  "  Come,  niece,"  said  her  mother,  "  thank  the 
gentleman  for  all  his  kindness  to  us ;  he  is  an  old  friend  of  mine, 
who  ranks  high  at  court,  and  undertakes  to  get  us  both  an  engage- 
ment at  the  theatre  royal."  The  little  girl  seemed  to  be  much 
pleased,  and  made  me  a  low  curtsy,  saying,  with  an  enchanting 
smile,  "  I  most  humbly  thank  you  for  your  obliging  intention  ;  but 
by  taking  me  from  a  partial  audience,  are  you  certain  that  I  shall 
not  be  looked  down  upon  by  that  of  Madrid  ?  I  may  but  lose  by  the 
exchange.  I  remember  hearing  my  aunt  say  that  she  has  seen 
players  most  favorably  received  in  one  town  and  hissed  off  the  stage 
in  another.    This  absolutely  frightens  me;  beware,  therefore,  of 


644  ADVENTURES  OF  OIL  BLAS. 

exposing  me  to  the  derision  of  the  court,  and  yourself  to  its  re- 
proaches." "  Lovely  Lucretia,"  answered  I,  "  we  have  neither  of  us 
anything  to  fear ;  I  am  rather  apprehensive  lest,  by  the  havoc  you 
will  make  among  hearts,  you  should  excite  rivalships  and  kindle 
discord  among  the  courtiers."  "  My  niece's  fears,"  said  Laura,  "  are 
better  founded  than  yours,  but  I  hope  they  will  both  prove  vain ; 
however  feeble  may  be  Lucretia's  charms  of  person,  her  talents  as 
an  actress  are  at  least  above  mediocrity." 

We  continued  the  conversation  for  some  time,  and  I  could  gather 
from  Lucretia's  share  in  it  that  she  was  a  girl  of  superior  talents. 
On  taking  my  leave,  I  assured  them  that  they  should  immediately 
receive  a  summons  to  Madrid. 


CHAPTER   IL 


SAKTILLANE  MAKES  HIS  REPOET  TO  THE  MINISTER,  WHO   COMMISSIONS 
HIM  TO  SEND   FOB  LUCRETIA. 

ON  my  return  I  found  my  lord  duke  impatient  to  be  informed 
of  my  success.  "  Have  you  seen  her  ?"  said  he  ;  "  is  she  worth 
transplanting?"  "My  lord,"  answered  I,  "  fame,  which  generally 
runs  beyond  all  discretion  in  its  report  of  beauty,  has  erred  on  the 
side  of  parsimony  in  its  estimate  of  the  matchless  young  Lucretia; 
she  is  all  that  youthful  poets  fancy  when  they  feign,  for  personal 
attractions,  and  all  that  veteran  managers  seek  when  they  sign 
articles,  in  scenic  qualifications." 

"Is  it  possible?"  exclaimed  the  minister,  with  a  satisfaction 
which  involuntarily  peeped  out  at  his  eyes,  and  made  me  think  he 
had  some  selfish  hankerings  after  the  article  of  my  marketing  at 
Toledo;  "  is  it  possible?  and  is  she  really  so  charming  a  creature?" 
"When  you  see  her,"  replied  I,  "you  will  own  that  any  verbal  pic- 
ture of  her  perfections  must  be  altogether  inadequate  to  their  due 
description."  His  excellency  then  requiring  a  minute  account  of 
my  journey,  I  gave  him  all  the  particulars,  not  excepting  Laura's 
story  and  Lucretia's  parentage.  His  lordship  was  delighted  at  the 
latter  circumstance,  and  enjoined  me,  with  a  cordial  compliment  on 
my  skill  in  such  delicate  negotiations,  to  finish  as  auspiciously  as  I 
had  begun  my  undertakings. 

I  went  to  look  for  Carnero,  and  told  him  that  it  was  his  excel- 
lency's pleasure  he  should  make  out  an  order  for  the  admission  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  645 

Estella  and  Lucretia,  actresses  from  the  Toledo  theatre,  into  his 
majesty's  company.  "  Say  you  so,  Signor  de  Santillane  ?"  answered 
Carnero  with  a  sarcastic  leer ;  "  you  shall  not  be  kept  long  in  sus- 
pense, since  you  take  so  marked  an  interest  in  the  fortunes  of  these 
two  ladies."  He  expedited  the  order  in  my  presence,  and  within  a 
week  the  mother  and  daughter  sent  me  notice  of  their  arrival.  I 
immediately  hastened  to  their  lodging  near  the  theatre,  and  after  an 
interchange  of  thanks  on  their  part,  and  assurances  of  continued 
support  on  mine,  left  them  with  my  best  wishes  for  a  brilliant  career 
of  success. 

Their  names  were  announced  in  the  bills  as  two  new  actresses, 
engaged  by  the  special  mandate  of  the  court.  They  made  their  first 
appearance  in  a  play  which  they  had  been  accustomed  to  perform  in 
at  Toledo,  with  loud  and  unanimous  applause. 

Novelty  is  the  very  life  and  soul  of  theatrical  entertainments. 
The  house  was  uncommonly  crowded,  and  I,  of  course,  was  among 
the  audience.  I  was  rather  frightened  before  the  curtain  drew  up. 
Prejudiced  as  I  was  in  favor  of  the  candidates,  my  alarm  was  in 
proportion  to  ray  interest.  But  when  once  they  were  fairly  on  the 
boards,  the  din  of  welcome  quieted  all  my  apprehensions.  Estella 
was  considered  as  a  first-rate  actress  in  comic  parts,  and  Lucretia  as 
a  female  Roscius  in  heroines  and  love-sick  damsels.  But  the  love 
which  she  feigned  herself  she  really  kindled  in  the  hearts  of  the 
spectators.  Some  admired  the  beauty  of  her  eyes,  others  were 
touched  with  the  plaintive  sweetness  of  her  voice,  and  all,  bowing 
to  the  triumph  of  youth,  vivacity,  and  elegance,  went  away  in  rap- 
tures with  her  person. 

My  lord  duke,  who  took  an  uncommon  interest  in  this  theatrical 
event,  was  at  the  play  that  evening.  I  saw  him  leave  his  box  at  the 
end  of  the  piece  with  evident  approbation  of  our  new  performers. 
Curious  to  know  whether  they  equalled  his  expectations,  I  followed 
him  home,  and  into  his  closet,  saying,  "  Well,  my  lord,  is  your  ex- 
cellency well  pleased  with  little  Marialva?"  "My  excellency," 
answered  he  with  a  sly  smile,  "  must  be  very  difiicult  to  be  pleased 
not  to  confirm  the  public  voice ;  yes,  indeed,  my  good  friend,  I  am 
enraptured  with  your  Lucretia,  and  firmly  believe  that  the  king  will 
not  see  her  without  emotion^" 


646  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 


CHAPTEE  III. 

LtrCEETIA'S    POPULARITY;    HEE    APPEARANCE    BEFORE  THE  KING ;    HIS 
PASSION,   AND  ITS  CONSEQUENCES. 

GREAT  was  the  noise  about  the  court  on  this  double  acquisition 
to  the  theatre  ;  it  became  the  topic  of  conversation  next  day 
at  the  king's  levee.  The  young  Lucretia  was  most  in  the  mouths 
of  the  nobility,  who  described  her  in  such  an  enthusiastic  manner 
that  his  majesty  could  not  but  imbibe  the  impression,  though  he 
was  too  polite  to  express  the  interest  he  felt  either  in  words  or  by 
looks. 

To  make  amends  for  that  restraint,  he  questioned  the  minister  as 
soon  as  he  was  alone  with  him,  who  stated  the  success  of  a  young 
actress  from  Toledo  on  the  evening  before.  "  Her  name,"  added  he, 
"  is  Lucretia;  and  it  is  really  a  pity  that  ladies  of  her  profession 
should  ever  have  been  christened  by  any  less  chaste  appellative. 
She  is  an  acquaintance  of  Santillane,  who  spoke  so  highly  of  her 
that  I  thought  it  right  to  engage  her  for  your  majesty's  company." 
The  king  smiled  at  the  mention  of  my  name,  recollecting,  perhaps, 
through  what  channel  he  became  acquainted  with  Catalina,  and 
foreboding  a  like  assistance  on  the  present  occasion.  "  Count,"  said 
he  to  the  minister,  "  I  mean  to  see  this  Lucretia  act  to-morrow,  and 
will  thank  you  to  let  her  know  it." 

I  was,  of  course,  sent  with  this  intelligence  to  the  two  actresses. 
"  Great  news  I"  said  I  to  Laura,  whom  I  saw  first :  "  you  will  have 
the  sovereign  of  the  Spanish  monarchy  among  your  audience  to- 
morrow, as  the  minister  has  desired  me  to  inform  you.  I  cannot 
doubt  but  you  will  both  of  you  do  your  best  to  prove  yourselves 
worthy  of  a  royal  command ;  but  I  would  advise  you  to  choose  a 
piece  with  music  and  dancing,  that  all  Lucretia's  accomplishments 
may  be  displayed  at  one  view."  "We  will  take  your  counsel," 
answered  Laura,  "  and  it  shall  not  be  our  faults  if  his  majesty  is 
disappointed."  "  That  can  scarcely  happen,"  said  I,  seeing  Lucre- 
tia come  into  the  room  in  an  undress,  which  showed  her  person  to 
more  advantage  than  all  the  wardrobe  of  the  theatre;  "he  will  be 
the  more  delighted  with  your  lovely  niece,  because  dancing  and 
music  are  his  principal  pleasures :  he  may  even  be  tempted  to  throw 
her  the  handkerchief."  "  I  do  not  at  all  wish,"  replied  Laura,  "  that 
he  should  be  that  way  inclined ;  all-powerful  monarch  as  he  is,  he 
might  not  find  the  accomplishment  of  his  desires  so  easy.  Lucretia, 
though  brought  up  behind  the  scenes,  is  not  without  virtuous  prin- 
ciples ;  whatever  pleasure  she  may  take  in  applause  and  professional 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  647 

reputation,  she  had  much  rather  preserve  the  character  of  a  good 
girl  than  establish  that  of  a  great  actress." 

"  Aunt,"  said  little  Marialva,  joining  in  the  conversation,  "  why 
conjure  up  monsters  only  to  lay  them  again?  I  shall  never  be  at  a 
loss  to  repel  the  king's  advances,  because  his  taste  is  too  refined  to 
stoop  so  low."  "  But,  charming  Lucretia,"  said  I,  "  if  such  a  thing 
should  happen,  would  you  be  cruel  enough  to  let  him  languish  like 
a  common  lover  ?"  "  Why  not  ?"  answered  she.  "  Setting  virtue 
aside,  my  vanity  would  be  more  flattered  by  my  own  resistance  than 
by  the  tribute  of  his  affection."  I  was  not  a  little  surprised  to 
hear  a  pupil  of  Laura's  school  talk  so  properly,  and  to  find  that 
with  so  free  an  education  she  imbibed  such  unusual  principles  of 
morality. 

The  king,  impatient  to  see  Lucretia,  went  to  the  play  next  even- 
ing. The  piece  was  got  up  with  music  and  dancing,  to  show  our 
young  actress  off  to  the  best  advantage.  My  eyes  were  fixed  on  his 
majesty ;  but  he  completely  eluded  my  penetration  by  an  obstinate 
gravity.  On  the  following  day,  the  minister  said,  "Santillane,  I 
have  just  been  with  the  king,  who  has  been  talking  about  Lucretia 
with  so  much  animation  that  I  doubt  not  but  he  is  smitten ;  and, 
as  I  told  him  that  you  had  sent  for  her  from  Toledo,  he  expressed  a 
wish  to  confer  with  you  in  private  on  the  subject:  orders  are  given 
for  your  admittance ;  run,  and  bring  me  back  an  account  of  what 


I  flew  to  the  palace,  and  found  the  king  alone.  He  was  walking 
up  and  down,  in  much  apparent  perplexity.  He.  put  several  ques- 
tions to  me  about  Lucretia,  made  me  relate  her  history,  and  then 
asked  whether  the  little  jade  had  not  been  tampering  with  chastity 
already.  I  boldly  assured  him  to  the  contrary,  though  such  pledges 
were  somewhat  hazardous  in  general ;  but  mine  was  taken,  and  gave 
the  prince  much  pleasure.  "  If  so,"  replied  he,  "  I  select  you  for 
my  agent  with  Lucretia;  let  her  become  acquainted  with  her 
triumph  from  your  lips."  He  then  put  a  box  of  jewels  into  my 
hand,  worth  fifty  thousand  crowns,  with  a  message  begging  her 
acceptance  of  them,  and  promising  more  substantial  proofs  of  his 
affection. 

Before  I  went  on  this  errand,  I  reported  progress  to  my  lord  duke. 
That  minister  I  thought  would  be  more  vexed  than  rejoiced  at  it; 
supposing  that  he  had  his  own  views  of  gallantry  towards  Lucretia, 
and  would  learn  with  regret  the  rivalship  of  his  master ;  but  I  was 
mistaken.  Far  from  appearing  chagrined,  his  joy  was  so  excessive 
that  it  would  ooze  out  at  his  tongue  in  words  which  were  not  quite 
lost  on  the  hearer.  "  Indeed,  friend  Philip  I  then  I  have  you  in  my 
clutches :  while  your  pleasures  lead  you,  your  business  must  be  left 


648  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

to  me !"  This  side  speech  explained  to  me  the  plot — an  amorous 
prince,  and  a  long-headed  minister  I  My  orders  were  to  execute 
my  commission  as  speedily  as  possible,  with  the  assurance  that  the 
first  lord  in  the  land  would  be  proud  to  stand  in  my  shoes.  Besides, 
there  was  no  pimp  of  rank,  as  in  the  former  case,  to  seize  the  profit 
and  leave  the  infamy  with  me ;  the  honor  and  emolument  were  now 
exclusively  my  own. 

Thus  did  his  excellency  relish  the  ingredients  of  panderism  to  my 
palate ;  and  I  tasted  them  with  the  greediness,  but  not  without  the 
qualms,  of  an  epicure ;  for  since  my  imprisonment  I  had  become 
regenerate,  and  did  not  take  pride  in  dirty  work,  because  my  em- 
ployer washed  his  hands  in  perfumed  water.  But  though  con- 
science was  awake,  interest  was  not  asleep.  I  was  no  longer  a 
villain  for  the  fun  of  it;  but  my  compliance  would  confirm  my  foot- 
ing with  the  minister,  and  him  it  was  my  duty,  at  all  events,  to 
please. 

My  first  appeal  was  to  Laura  in  private.  I  opened  the  negotia- 
tion delicately,  and  presented  my  credentials  in  the  form  of  the 
jewel-box.  The  lady  was  thrown  off  her  guard  by  the  display. 
"  Signor  Gil  Bias,"  cried  she,  "  you  are  one  of  my  oldest  friends, 
and  I  must  not  play  the  hypocrite ;  straight-laced  morals  are  incon- 
sistent with  the  discipline  of  my  sect.  Nothing  can  be  more 
delightful  to  me  than  a  conquest  which*  throws  such  game  into  our 
hands.  But,  between  ourselves,  I  am  afraid  Lucretia  is  not  so 
enlightened  as  we  are ;  though  a  daughter  of  Thalia,  she  has  taken 
the  better-behaved  goddesses  for  her  schoolmistresses,  and  given 
a  rebuflf  to  two  young  noblemen  of  amiable  manners  and  large 
fortunes.  They  were  not  kings,  you  will  say ;  and  truly  we  may 
hope  that  Lucretia's  virtue  will  be  too  undisciplined  to  stand  a 
royal  siege ;  but  you  must  remember  the  event  is  hazardous,  and  I 
shall  not  interpose  my  authority  to  compel  her.  If,  far  from  think- 
ing herself  honored  by  the  fleeting  passion  of  the  king,  she  should 
revolt  from  his  advances  with  disdain,  let  not  our  illustrious 
sovereign  be  offended  at  her  reserve.  But  do  you  come  back 
hither  to-morrow,  and  carry  back  either  the  jewels  or  a  return  of 
affection." 

I  had  no  doubt  but  Laura  would  tutor  Lucretia  in  the  school  of 
time-serving  morality,  and  depended  much  on  her  instruction.  It 
was  therefore  no  small  surprise  to  find  that  Laura  worked  as  much 
against  wind  and  tide  to  launch  her  daughter  into  the  trade-wind 
of  evil  as  other  maternal  pilots  to  set  the  sails  of  theirs  in  the  con- 
trary monsoon  of  good ;  and  what  is  still  more  unaccountable, 
Lucretia,  after  tasting  of  royal  delights,  was  so  completely  surfeited 
with  the  banquet  as  to  throw  herself  at  once  into  the  arms  of  the 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  649 

church,  where  she  professed,  fell  sick,  and  died  of  grief.  Laura, 
disconsolate  for  the  loss  of  her  daughter,  and  the  part  she  herself 
had  acted  in  the  tragedy,  retired  into  a  convent  of  female  penitents, 
and  did  penance  for  the  unhallowed  pleasures  of  her  former  life. 
The  king  was  affected  by  his  sudden  loss,  but  soon  found  comfort  in 
some  other  pursuit.  The  premier  talked  little  on  the  subject,  but 
thought  so  much  the  more,  as  the  reader  will  easily  believe. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

SANTILXANE  IN  A  NEW  OFFICE. 

MY  feelings  were  all  alive  to  Lucretia'a  ill  fate,  and  my  own 
infamy  in  having  contributed  to  it.  The  royal  wants  of  the 
lover  were  no  excuse  for  my  taking  the  post  of  cheapener,  and  I 
determined  to  resign  the  staff  of  office  in  that  department,  entreat- 
ing the  minister  to  employ  me  in  some  other.  He  was  charmed 
with  my  nice  sense  of  honor,  and  promised  to  comply  with  my 
scruples,  laying  open  his  inmost  heart  in  the  following  speech : — 

"  Some  years  before  I  was  in  office,  chance  threw  me  across  a  lady 
of  such  shape  and  beauty  as  induced  me  to  trace  her  home.  I 
learned  that  she  was  a  Genoese,  by  name  Donna  Margarita  Spinola, 
supporting  herself  at  Madrid  on  the  income  arising  from  her  beauty. 
It  was  reported  that  Don  Francisco  de  Val6asar,  an  officer  about 
the  court,  a  rich  man,  an  old  man,  and  a  married  man,  laid  out  his 
money  very  freely  on  this  hazardous  speculation.  These  rumors 
ought  to  have  deterred  me ;  but  they  only  whetted  my  desires  to 
share  with  Val6asar.  To  gain  my  end,  I  had  recourse  to  a  female 
broker  of  tenderness,  who  adjusted  the  terms  of  a  private  interview 
with  the  Genoese ;  and  the  price  current  being  settled,  the  traffic 
was  frequently  repeated ;  it  was  an  open  market  for  my  rival  and 
me,  or  possibly  for  many  other  bidders. 

"  Let  that  be  as  it  may,  a  choice  boy  was  in  the  fulness  of  time 
produced  to  the  club,  and  the  mother  complimented  every  member 
individually  in  private  with  the  credit ;  but  we  were  each  of  us  too 
modest  to  acknowledge  a  bantling  which  had  so  probable  a  claim 
upon  a  better  father ;  so  that  the  Genoese  was  compelled  to  main- 
tain him  on  the  profits  of  her  profession  :  this  shcdid  for  eighteen 
years,  and  dying  at  the  end  of  that  period,  left  her  son  without  a 
farthing,  and,  what  is  worse,  without  an  idea  or  an  accomplishment 


650  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

"Such,"  continued  his  lordship,  "is  the  confidence  I  meant  to 
repose  in  you,  and  I  shall  now  lay  open  the  great  design  I  have 
formed  to  draw  this  unfortunate  child  from  his  obscurity,  reverse 
the  color  of  his  fate,  raise  him  to  the  highest  honors,  and  acknowl- 
edge him  as  my  son." 

At  so  extravagant  a  project  it  was  impossible  not  to  be  open- 
mouthed.  "  What,  sir,"  exclaimed  I,  "  can  your  excellency  have 
adopted  so  strange  a  resolution  ?  Excuse  my  freedom ;  but  my  zeal 
cannot  restrain  itself."  "  You  will  be  of  my  mind,"  replied  he  with 
eagerness,  "  when  I  shall  have  explained  to  you  my  motives.  I 
have  no  mind  that  my  estates  should  descend  in  the  collateral  line. 
You  will  tell  me  that  I  am  not  so  old  as  to  despair  of  having  chil- 
dren by  Madame  d'Olivarez.  But  every  one  is  best  judge  of  his 
own  condition :  know  therefore  that  there  is  not  a  receipt  in  the 
whole  extent  of  chemistry  which  I  have  not  tried,  but  without 
effect,  to  appear  once  again  in  the  character  of  a  father.  Where- 
fore, since  fortune,  stepping  in  to  cover  the  defects  of  nature,  pre- 
sents me  with  a  child  whose  parent,  after  all,  I  may  actually  be,  he 
is  mine  by  adoption ;  that  is  a  settled  point." 

When  I  found  the  minister  determined,  I  no  longer  argued  against 
his  resolution,  as  knowing  him  to  be  a  man  who  would  rather  do  a 
foolish  act  of  his  own  than  adopt  a  wise  suggestion  of  another.  "  It 
only  remains  now,"  added  he,  "to  educate  Don  Henry  Philip  de 
Guzman — for  by  that  name  I  intend  him  to  be  known  in  the  world — 
till  the  time  arrives  when  he  may  aspire  to  higher  dignities.  You, 
my  dear  Santillane,  I  have  chosen  to  superintend  his  conduct.  I 
have  full  confidence  in  your  talents  and  friendship,  to  regulate  his 
household,  direct  his  studies,  and  make  him  an  accomplished  gentle- 
man." I  would  willingly  have  declined  the  office,  as  never  having 
exercised  the  craft  of  a  pedagogue,  which  required  much  more 
genius  and  solidity  than  mine ;  but  he  shut  my  mouth  by  saying  it 
was  his  absolute  determination  that  I  should  be  tutor  to  this  adopted 
son,  whom  he  designed  for  the  first  offices  of  the  monarchy.  As  a 
bribe  for  my  compliance,  his  lordship  increased  my  little  income  ' 
with  a  pension  of  a  thousand  crowns  on  the  commandery  of  Membra. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  651 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE    SON   OF  THE    GENOESE    IS    ACKNOWLEDGED   BY  A  LEGAL   INSTEU- 
MENT,  AND  NAMED  DON  HENKY  PHILIP  DE  GUZMAN. 

THE  act  of  adoption  was  soon  legalized  with  the  king's  consent 
and  good  pleasure.  Don  Henry  Philip  de  Guzman,  as  this 
descendant  from  a  committee  of  fathers  was  named,  became  ac- 
knowledged successor  to  the  earldom  of  Olivarez  and  the  duchy  of 
San  Lucar.  The  minister,  to  give  the  act  all  possible  publicity, 
communicated  it  through  Carnero  to  the  ambassadors  and  grandees 
of  Spain,  who  were  somewhat  startled.  The  jokers  of  Madrid  were 
not  insensible  to  the  ridicule,  and  the  satirical  poets  made  their 
harvest  of  so  fine  a  subject  for  their  pen. 

I  asked  my  lord  duke  where  my  pupil  was.  "Here  in  town," 
answered  he,  "  with  an  aunt  from  whom  I  shall  remove  him  aa  soon 
as  you  have  got  a  house  ready."  This  I  did  immediately,  and  fur- 
nished it  magnificently.  When  my  establishment  was  complete  in 
servants  and  ofllcers,  his  excellency  sent  for  this  equivocal  produc- 
tion, this  spurious  offset  from  the  renowned  stock  of  the  Guzmans. 
The  lad  was  tall  and  personable.  "  Don  Henry,"  said  his  lordship, 
pointing  to  me,  "  this  gentleman  is  to  be  your  tutor,  and  introduce 
you  into  the  world ;  he  has  my  entire  confidence,  and  an  unlimited 
authority  over  you."  After  much  good  advice,  and  many  com- 
pliments to  me,  the  minister  retired,  and  I  took  Don  Henry 
home. 

As  soon  as  we  got  thither,  I  introduced  him  to  his  household,  and 
explained  the  nature  of  each  individual's  employment.  He  did  not 
seem  at  all  disconcerted  at  the  change  of  circumstances,  but  received 
the  obeisances  of  his  dependents  as  if  he  had  been  a  lord  by  nature, 
and  not  by  chance.  He  was  not  without  mother-wit,  but  ignoraut 
in  a  deplorable  degree ;  he  could  scarcely  read  and  write.  I  gave 
him  masters  for  the  Latin  grammar,  geography,  history,  and  fencing. 
A  dancing-master  of  course  was  not  forgotten ;  but  in  an  affair  of 
the  first  consequence,  selection  was  difficult,  for  there  were  more 
eminent  professors  of  that  art  in  Madrid  than  of  all  the  languages 
and  sciences  put  together. 

While  I  was  pondering  on  this  difficulty,  a  man  gaudily  dressed 
came  into  the  court-yard  and  inquired  for  me.  I  went  down,  sup- 
posing him  to  be  at  least  a  knight  of  some  military  or  privileged 
order.  "  Signor  de  Santillane,"  said  he,  with  a  profusion  of  bows 
which  anticipated  his  line  in  life,  "  I  am  come  to  offer  you  my  ser- 
vices as  Don  Henry's  governor.    My  name  is  Martin  Ligero,  and  I 


652  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

have,  thank  Heaven,  some  reputation  in  the  world.  I  have  no 
occasion  to  canvass  for  scholars ;  that  is  all  very  well  for  petty 
dancing-masters !  My  custom  is  to  wait  till  I  am  sent  for ;  but 
being  a  sort  of  appendage  to  the  house  of  Guzman,  and  having 
taught  its  various  branches  for  a  long  period,  I  thought  it  a  point  of 
respect  to  wait  on  you  first."  "I  perceive,"  answered  I,  "that  you 
are  just  the  man  we  want.  What  are  your  terms?"  "  Four  double 
pistoles  a  month,"  answered  he,  "  and  I  give  but  two  lessons  a 
week."  "  Four  doubloons  a  month  !"  cried  I ;  "  that  is  an  exorbi- 
tant price."  "  Exorbitant!"  rejoined  he  with  astonishment;  "why, 
it  is  not  more  than  eight  times  as  much  as  you  would  give  to  a 
mathematical  master  or  a  Greek  professor." 

There  was  no  resisting  so  ludicrous  a  comparison  of  merit;  I 
laughed  outright,  and  asked  Signor  Ligero  whether  he  really  thought 
his  talents  worth  more  than  those  of  the  first  proficients  in  learning 
and  science.  "  Most  assuredly,"  said  he  ;  "at  least,  if  you  measure 
our  pretensions  by  their  respective  utility.  What  sort  of  machines 
may  those  be  which  are  fashioned  under  their  hands  ?  Jointless 
puppets,  unlicked  cubs,  open-mouthed  and  impenetrable  shell-fish ; 
but  our  lessons  supple  and  render  pliant  the  intractable  stiffness  of 
their  component  parts,  and  bring  them  insensibly  into  shape :  in 
short,  we  communicate  to  them  a  graceful  motion,  a  polite  address, 
the  carriage  of  good  company,  and  the  outward  marks  of  elevated 
rank." 

I  could  not  but  give  way  to  such  cogent  arguments  in  favor  of  the 
dancing-master's  occupation,  and  engaged  him  about  Don  Henry's 
person,  without  haggling  as  to  terms,  since  those  specified  were  only 
at  the  rate  established  by  the  leading  professors  of  the  art. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

BCIPIO'S  EETTTltN  FROM  NEW  SPAIN.     GIL  BLAS  PLACES  HIM  ABOtJT 
DON  HENBY'S  PERSON. 

I  HAD  not  yet  half  arranged  Don  Henry's  household,  when 
Scipio  returned  from  Mexico.  He  brought  with  him  three 
thousand  ducats  in  cash,  and  merchandise  to  double  the  amount. 
"  I  wish  you  joy,"  said  I ;  "  the  foundation  of  your  fortune  is  laid; 
and  if  you  prefer  a  snug  berth  at  Madrid  to  the  risk  of  going  back, 
you  have  only  to  tell  me  so."    "  There  is  no  question  about  that," 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  653 

said  the  son  of  Cosclina :  "  a  genteel  situation  at  home  is  far  prefer- 
able to  a  second  voyage." 

After  relating  the  birth  and  adventures  of  the  little  adopted  Guz- 
man, and  my  own  appointment  as  tutor,  I  offered  him  the  situation 
of  upper  servant  to  this  babe  of  chance :  Scipio,  who  could  have 
devised  nothing  better  for  himself,  readily  accepted  the  office,  and 
within  the  small  space  of  three  or  four  days  got  the  length  of  his 
new  master's  foot. 

I  had  taken  it  for  granted  that  the  verb-grinders  and  concord- 
manufacturers  to  whom  I  had  given  the  plant  of  this  Genoese  bas- 
tard would  lose  stock  and  block,  under  the  idea  that  he  was  of  an 
intractable  and  profitless  age ;  but  my  forebodings  were  completely 
reversed.  He  not  only  comprehended,  but  easily  retained  the  les- 
sons of  his  masters,  and  they  were  very  well  satisfied  with  him.  I 
was  in  an  enormous  hurry  to  greet  the  ears  of  my  lord  duke  with 
this  intelligence,  and  he  received  it  with  abundant  joy.  "Santil- 
lane,"  -exclaimed  he  with  delight,  "  you  give  me  new  life  by  the 
assurance  of  Don  Henry's  capacity  and  application  :  it  runs  in  the 
blood  of  the  Guzmans  ;  and  I  am  the  more  confirmed  in  his  being 
unquestionably  my  own,  because  I  am  just  as  fond  of  him  as  if 
Madame  d'Olivarez  herself  had  lain  in  of  the  brat  in  due  form 
under  this  very  roof.  The  voice  of  nature,  you  perceive,  will  make 
itself  heard."  I  thought  it  unnecessary  to  give  his  lordship  any 
opinion  on  that  subject;  but  with  a  delicate  deference  to  his 
credulity,  left  him  to  enjoy  his  fancied  paternity  in  peace,  whether 
well  or  ill  founded. 

Though  all  the  Guzmans  held  this  clod  of  newly  tumed-up 
nobility  in  utter  «corn,  they  were  politic  enough  to  smooth  over  the 
corrugations  of  their  contempt ;  nay,  some  of  them  even  affected  to 
languish  for  his  good  opinion ;  the  ambassadors  and  principal  no- 
bility then  at  Madrid  waited  on  him  with  all  the  ceremony  apper- 
taining to  the  rank  of  a  legitimate  son.  The  minister,  intoxicated 
with  the  fumes  of  incense  offered  to  his  idol,  began  to  build. a  temple 
worthy  of  the  worship.  The  cross  of  Alcantara  was  the  foundation, 
with  a  commandery  of  ten  thousand  crowns.  The  next  step  was  to 
a  high  office  in  the  royal  household,  and  the  completion  of  the  whole 
was  matrimony.  Wishing  to  connect  him  with  a  family  of  the 
first  rank,  he  picked  out  Donna  Johanna  de  Velasco,  daughter 
to  the  Duke  of  Castille,  and  had  influence  enough  to  accomplish 
the  alliance,  though  against  the  will  of  the  duke  and  of  all  his 
kindred. 

Some  days  before  the  nuptial  ceremony,  his  lordship  put  some 
papers  into  my  hand,  saying,  "  Here,  Gil  Bias,  is  a  patent  of  nobility 
which  I  have  procured  as  a  reward  of  your  services."    "  My  lord," 


654  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

answered  I,  in  much  astonishment,  "your  excellency.knows  very 
well  that  I  am  the  son  of  an  usher  and  a  dueuna :  it  would  be  cari- 
caturing the  peerage  to  confer  it  on  me ;  and  besides,  of  all  the 
boons  in  his  majesty's  power  to  bestow,  it  is  that  which  I  deserve 
and  desire  the  least."  "  Your  birth,"  replied  the  minister,  "  is  a 
slight  objection.  You  have  been  employed  on  affairs  of  state  under 
the  Duke  of  Lerma's  administration  and  under  mine :  besides,"  added 
he  with  a  smile,  "  have  you  not  rendered  some  things  to  Caesar  which 
Caesar  is  bound,  on  the  honor  of  a  prince,  to  render  back  in  another 
shape  ?  To  deal  candidly,  Santillane,  you  will  make  just  as  good  a 
lord  as  the  best  of  them ;  nay,  more  than  that,  your  high  office 
about  my  son  is  incompatible  with  plebeian  rank,  and  therefore 
have  I  procured  you  to  be  created,"  "  Since  your  excellency  will 
have  it  so,"  replied  I,  "  there  is  no  more  to  be  said."  So,  saying 
no  more,  I  put  my  new-blown  honors  in  my  pocket,  and  walked  off. 
"Now  can  I  make  any  Joan  a  lady  !"  said  I  to  myself  when  I  had 
got  into  the  street:  "but  it  was  not  the  handiwork  of  my  parents 
that  made  me  a  gentleman.  I  may  add  a  foot  of  honor  to  my  name 
whenever  I  please ;  and  if  any  of  my  acquaintance  should  snuff  or 
snigger  when  they  call  me  Don,  I  may  suck  my  teeth,  lean  upon  my 
elbow,  and  draw  out  my  credentials  of  heraldry.  But  let  us  see  what 
they  contain,  and  how  the  corporeal  particles,  which  have  accrued 
during  my  artificial  contact  with  the  court,  are  distinguished  by 
genealogical  metaphysics  from  the  native  clay  of  my  original  extrac- 
tion." The  instrument  ran  thus  in  substance:  That  the  king,  in 
acknowledgment  of  my  zeal  in  more  than  one  instance  for  his  service 
and  the  good  of  the  state,  had  been  graciously  pleased  to  confer  this 
mark  of  distinction  on  me.  I  may  safely  say  that  the  recollection  of 
the  act  for  which  I  was  promoted  effectually  kept  down  my  pride. 
Neither  did  the  bashfulness  of  low  birth  ever  forsake  me,  so  that 
nobility  to  me  was  like  a  hair  shirt  to  a  penitent :  I  determined 
therefore  to  lock  up  the  evidences  of  my  shame  in  a  private  drawer, 
instead  of  blazoning  them  to  dazzle  the  eyes  of  the  foolish  and 
corrupt. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  665 


CHAPTER   VII. 

AN  ACCIDENTAL  MEETING    BETWEEN  GIL   BLAS  AND  FABBICIO.     THEIR 
LAST  CONVERSATION  TOGETHER. 

THE  poet  of  the  Asturias,  as  the  reader,  if  he  thought  of  him, 
may  have  remarked,  was  very  negligent  in  his  intercourse  with 
me.  It  was  not  to  be  expected  that  my  employments  would  leave 
me  time  to  go  and  look  after  him.  I  had  not  seen  him  since  the 
critical  discussion  touching  the  Iphigenia  of  Euripides,  when  chance 
threw  me  across  him,  as  he  came  out  of  a  printing-house.  I  accosted 
him,  saying,  "So!  so!  Master  Nunez,  you  have  got  among  the 
printers :  this  looks  as  if  we  were  threatened  with  some  new  pro- 
duction." 

"  You  may  indeed  prepiare  yourselves  for  such  an  event,"  answered 
he  :  "I  have  a  pamphlet  just  ready  for  publication  which  is  likely 
to  make  some  noise  in  the  literary  world."  "  There  can  be  no  ques- 
tion about  its  merit,"  replied  I ;  "  but  I  cannot  conceive  why  you 
waste  your  time  in  writing  pamphlets :  it  should  seem  as  if  such 
squibs  and  rockets  were  scarcely  worth  the  powder  expended  in 
their  manufacture."  "  It  is  very  true,"  rejoined  Fabricio :  "  and  I 
am  well  aware  that  none  but  the  most  vulgar  gazers  are  caught  by 
such  holiday  fireworks ;  however,  this  single  one  has  escaped  me, 
and  I  must  own  that  it  is  a  child  of  necessity.  Hunger,  as  you  know, 
will  bring  the  wolf  out  of  the  forest." 

"What!"  exclaimed  I,  "is  it  the  author  of  the  'Count  of  Sal- 
dagna'  who  holds  this  language  ?  A  man  with  an  annuity  of  two 
thousand  crowns  ?"  "  Gently,  my  friend,"  interrupted  Nunez :  "  I 
am  no  longer  a  pensioned  poet.  The  affairs  of  the  treasurer  Don 
Bertrand  are  all  at  sixes  and  sevens :  he  has  been  at  the  gaming- 
table, and  played  with  the  public  money :  an  extent  has  issued,  and 
my  rent-charge  is  gone  post  haste  to  the  devil."  "  That  is  a  sad 
affair,"  said  I ;  "  but  may  not  matters  come  round  again  in  that  quar- 
ter ?"  "  No  chance  of  it,"  answered  he :  "  Signor  Gomez  del  Ribero, 
in  plight  as  destitute  as  that  of  his  poor  bard,  is  sunk  forever ;  nor 
can  he,  as  they  say,  by  any  possible  contrivance  be  set  afloat  again." 

"  In  that  case,  my  good  friend,"  replied  I,  "  we  must  look  out  for 
some  post  which  may  make  you  amends  for  the  loss  of  your  an- 
nuity." "I  will  ease  your  conscience  on  that  score,"  said  he: 
"  though  you  should  offer  me  the  wealth  of  the  Indies  as  a  salary  in 
one  of  your  offices,  I  would  reject  the  boon  :  clerkships  are  no  object 
to  a  partner  in  the  firm  of  the  Muses ;  a  literary  berth  or  absolute 
starvation  for  your  humble  servant  I    If  you  must  have  it  plump,  I 


656  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

was  born  to  live  and  die  a  poet,  and  the  man  whose  destiny  is  hang- 
ing will  never  be  drowned, 

"  But  do  not  suppose,"  continued  he,  "that  we  are  altogether  forlorn 
and  destitute  :  besides  that  we  accommodate  the  requisites  of  inde- 
pendence to  our  finances,  we  do  not  look  far  beyond  .our  noses  in 
calculating  the  average  of  our  fortunes.  It  is  insinuated  that  we 
often  dine  with  the  most  abstemious  orders  of  the  religious;  but  our 
sanctity  in  this  particular  is  too  credulously  imputed.  There  is  not 
one  of  my  brother  wits,  without  excepting  the  calculators  of  almanacs, 
who  has  not  a  plate  laid  for  him  at  some  substantial  table :  for  my 
own  part,  I  have  the  run  of  two  good  houses.  To  the  master  of  one 
I  have  dedicated  a  romance  ;  and  he  is  the  first  commissioner  of  taxes 
who  was  ever  associated  with  the  Muses :  the  other  is  a  rich  trades- 
man in  Madrid,  whose  lust  is  to  get  wits  about  him  ;  he  is  not  nice 
in  his  choice,  and  this  town  furnishes  abundance  to  those  who  value 
wit  more  by  quantity  than  quality," 

"  Then  I  no  longer  feel  for  you,"  said  I  to  the  poet  of  the  Asturias, 
"  since  you  are  satisfied  in  your  condition.  But  be  that  as  it  may,  I 
assure  you  once  more  that  you  have  a  friend  in  Gil  Bias,  however 
you  may  slight  him  ;  if  you  want  my  purse,  come  and  take  it ;  it  will 
not  fail  you  at  a  pinch  ;  and  you  must  not  stand  between  me  and  my 
sincere  friendship." 

"By  that  burst  of  sentiment,"  exclaimed  Nunez,  "I  know  and 
thank  my  friend  Santillane :  in  return,  let  me  give  you  a  salutary 
caution.  While  my  lord  duke  is  in  his  meridian,  and  you  are  all  in 
all  with  him,  reap,  bind,  and  gather  in  your  harvest :  when  the  sun 
sets,  the  gleaners  are  sent  home."  I  asked  Fabricio  whether  his  sus- 
picions were  surely  founded,  and  he  returned  me  this  answer:  "My 
information  comes  from  an  old  knight  of  Calatrava,  who  pokes  his 
nose  into  secrets  of  all  sorts  ;  his  authority  passes  current  at  Madrid, 
much  as  that  of  the  Pythian  news-mongers  did  through  Greece ;  and 
thus  his  oracle  was  pronounced  in  my  hearing:  My  lord  duke  has  a 
host  of  enemies  in  battle  array  against  him ;  he  reckons  too  securely 
upon  his  influence  with  the  king  ;  for  his  majesty,  as  the  report  goes, 
begins  to  take  in  hostile  representations  with  patience,"  I  thanked 
Nunez  for  his  friendly  warning,  but  without  much  faith  in  his  pre- 
diction :  my  master's  authority  seemed  rooted  in  the  court,  like  the 
tempest-scoflSng  firmness  of  an  oak  in  the  native  soil  of  the  forest. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  657 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

GIL    BLAS   FINDS   THAT   FABKICIO'S    HIKT  WAS   NOT  WITHOUT   FOUNDA- 
TION.    THE  KING'S  JOURNEY  TO  SARAGOSSA. 

THE  poet  of  the  Asturias  was  no  bad  politician.  There  was  a 
court  plot  against  the  duke,  with  the  queen  at  the  bottom ;  but 
their  plans  were  too  deeply  laid  to  bubble  at  the  surface.  During 
the  space  of  a  whole  year,  my  simplicity  was  insensible  to  the  brew- 
ing of  the  tempest. 

The  revolt  of  the  Catalans,  with  France  at  their  back,  and  the  ill 
success  of  the  war  for  their  suppression,  excited  the  murmurs  of  the 
people,  and  whetted  their  tongues  against  government.  A  council 
was  held  in  the  royal  presence,  and  the  Marquis  de  Grana,  the  em- 
peror's ambassador,  was  specially  requested  to  assist.  The  subject  in 
debate  was  whether  the  king  should  remain  in  Castille,  or  go  and 
take  the  command  of  his  troops  in  Arragon.  The  minister  spoke 
first,  and  gave  it  as  his  opinion  that  his  majesty  should  not  quit  the 
seat  of  government.  All  the  members  'supported  his  arguments, 
with  the  exception  of  the  Marquis  de  Grana,  whose  whole  heart  was 
with  the  house  of  Austria,  and  the  sentiments  of  his  soul  on  the  tip 
of  his  tongue,  after  the  homely  honesty  of  his  nation.  He  argued  so 
forcibly  against  the  minister  that  the  king  embraced  his  opinion 
from  conviction,  though  contrary  to  the  vote  of  council,  and  fixed 
the  day  when  he  would  set  out  for  the  army. 

This  was  the  first  time  that  ever  the  sovereign  had  differed  from 
his  favorite,  and  the  latter  considered  it  as  an  inexpiable  affront. 
Just  as  the  minister  was  withdrawing  to  his  closet,  there  to  bite 
upon  the  bridle,  he  espied  me,  called  me  in,  and  told  me  with  much 
discomposure  what  had  passed'  in  debate.  "Yes,  Santillane," 
observed  he,  "  the  king,  who  for  the  last  twenty  years  has  spoken 
only  through  my  mouth  and  seen  with  my  eyes,  is  now  to  be 
wheedled  over  by  Grana  ;  and  that  on  the  score  of  zeal  for  the  house 
of  Austria,  as  if  that  German  had  a  more  Austrian  soul  in  his  body 
than  myself. 

"  Hence  it  is  easy  to  perceive,"  continued  the  minister,  "  that  there 
is  a  strong  party  against  me,  with  the  queen  at  the  head."  "  Heaven 
forbid  it  1"  said  I.  "  Has  not  the  queen  for  upwards  of  twelve  years 
been  accustomed  to  your  paramount  authority,  and  have  you  not 
taught  the  king  the  knack  of  not  consulting  her?  The  desire  of 
making  a  campaign  may  for  once  have  enlisted  his  majesty  on  the 
side  of  the  Marquis  de  Grana."  "  Say  rather  that  the  king,"  argued 
my  lord  duke,  "  will  be  surrounded  by  his  principal  officers  when  in 
42 


658  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

camp ;  and  then  the  disaffected  will  find  their  opportunity  for  poi- 
soning him  against  my  administration.  But  they  overreach  them- 
selves ;  for  I  shall  completely  insulate  the  prince  from  all  their  ap- 
proaches ;"  and  so  he  did,  in  a  manner  which,  for  example,  deserves 
not  to  be  passed  over. 

The  day  of  the  king's  departure  having  arrived,  the  monarch, 
leaving  the  queen  regent,  proceeded  for  Saragossa  by  way  of  Aran- 
juez — a  delightful  residence,  where  he  whiled  away  three  weeks. 
Cuen^a  was  the  next  stage,  where  the  minister  detained  him  still 
longer  by  a  succession  of  amusements.  A  hunting  party  was 
contrived  at  Molina  in  Arragon,  and  hence  there  was  no  choice 
of  road  but  to  Saragossa.  The  army  was  near  at  hand,  and 
the  king  was  preparing  to  review  it;  but  his  keeper  sickened 
him  of  the  project  by  making  him  believe  that  he  would  be  taken 
by  the  French,  who  were  in  force  in  the  neighborhood,  so  that 
he  was  cowed  by  a  groundless  apprehension,  and  consented  to 
be  a  prisoner  in  his  own  court.  The  minister,  from  an  affec- 
tionate regard  to  his  safety,  secluded  him  from  all  approach ;  so 
that  the  principal  nobility,  who  had  equipped  themselves  at  enor- 
mous charges  to  be  about  his  person,  could  not  even  procure  an 
occasional  audience.  Philip,  weary  of  bad  lodgings  and  worse  re- 
creation at  Saragossa,  and  perhaps  feeling  himself  scarcely  his  own 
master,  soon  returned  to  Madrid.  Thus  ended  the  royal  campaign, 
and  the  care  of  maintaining  the  honor  of  the  Spanish  colors  was  left 
to  the  Marquis  de  los  Velez,  commander-in-chief. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

THE  EEVOLUnON  OF  POBTXIGAL,  AND  DISGBACB  OF  THE  FBIUE 

MINISTER. 

A  FEW  days  after  the  king's  return,  an  alarming  report  pre- 
vailed at  Madrid,  that  the  Portuguese,  considering  the  Cata- 
lan revolt  as»an  opportunity  offered  them  by  fortune  for  throwing 
off  the  Spanish  yoke,  had  taken  arms,  and  chosen  the  Duke  of  Bra- 
ganza  for  their  king,  with  a  full  determination  of  supporting  him  on 
the  throne.  In  this  they  conceived  that  they  did  not  reckon  with- 
out their  host,  because  Spain  was  then  embroiled  in  Germany,  Italy, 
Flanders,  and  Catalonia.  They  could  not,  in  fact,  have  hit  upon 
a  crisis  more  favorable  for  their  deliverance  from  so  galling  a  yoke. 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  659 

It  was  a  strange  circumstance  that,  while  both  court  and  city  were 
struck  with  consternation  at  the  news,  my  lord  duke  attempted  to 
joke  with  the  king,  and  make  the  Duke  of  Braganza  his  butt :  Philip, 
however,  far  from  falling  in  with  this  ill-timed  pleasantry,  assumed 
a  serious  air,  of  ill  omen  to  the  minister,  who  felt  his  seat  to  totter 
under  him.  The  queen  was  now  his  declared  enemy,  and  openly 
accused  him  of  having  caused  the  revolt  of  Portugal  by  his  miscon- 
duct. The  nobility  in  general,  and  especially  those  who  had  been 
at  Saragossa,  when  they  saw  a  cloud  gathering  about  the  minister, 
joined  the  queen's  party  ;*  but  the  decisive  blow  was  the  return  of 
the  duchess  dowager  of  Mantua  from  her  government  of  Portugal  to 
Madrid,  for  she  proved  clearly  to  the  king's  conviction  that  the 
counsels  of  his  own  cabinet  produced  the  revolution. 

His  majesty,  deeply  impressed  with  what  he  had  heard,  was  now 
completely  recovered  from  every  symptom  of  partiality  towards  his 
favorite.  The  minister,  finding  that  his  enemies  were  in  possession 
of  the  royal  ear,  wrote  for  permission  to  resign  his  employments 
and  retire  from  court,  since  all  the  political  mischances  of  the  time 
were  placed  to  his  account.  He  expected  this  letter  to  produce  a 
wonderful  effect,  reckoning  upon  the  prince's  private  friendship, 
which  could  scarcely  brook  a.  separation  ;  but  his  majesty's  answer 
undeceived  him,  by  complying  with  his  ostensible  wish  to  withdraw. 

Such  a  sentence  of  banishment  in  the  king's  own  handwriting 
came  like  a  thunder-storm  in  harvest ;  but  though  destruction  to  his 
long-cherished  hopes,  he  affected  the  serene  look  of  constancy,  and 
asked  me  what  I  would  do  in  his  circumstances.  "  I  would  drive 
befope  the  wind,"  said  I ;  "  renounce  the  ungrateful  court,  and  pass 
the  remainder  of  my  days  in  peace  on  my  own  estate."  "You 
counsel  wisely,"  replied  my  master,  "and  I  shall  set  out  for 
Loeches,  there  to  finish  my  career,  after  one  more  interview  with 
his  majesty,  for  I  could  wish  just  to  convince  him  that  I  have  done 
what  man  can  do  to  support  the  heavy  load  of  state  upon  my 
shoulders,  and  that  it  was  not  within  the  compass  of  possibility  to 
prevent  the  unfortunate  events  which  are  imputed  to  me  as  a  crime. 
It  were  equally  reasonable  to  charge  the  pilot  with  the  wrecking 
fury  of  the  storm,  and  make  him  answerable  for  the  uncontrolled 
power  of  the  elements."  Thus  did  the  minister  inwardly  flatter 
himself  that  he  could  set  things  to  rights  again,  aud  once  more  fix 
firm  the  seat  which  was  shaking  under  him  ;  but  he  could  not  pro- 
cure an  audience,  and  was  even  commanded  to  resign  his  key  of 
private  admission  into  his  majesty's  closet. 

•  "  At  length  hia  sovereign  frowns— the  train  of  state 
Mark  the  keen  glance,  and  watch  the  sign  to  hate." 

Johnson's  JmitaOon  qfjwenatt  Tenth  SaHn, 


660  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

This  last  requisition  convinced  him  that  th-ere  was  no  hope,  and 
he  now  made  up  his  mind  in  earnest  for  retirement.  He  looked 
over  his  papers,  and  had  the  prudence  to  burn  a  good  number  ;  he 
then  selected  a  small  household  for  his  retreat,  and  publicly 
announced  his  departure  for  the  next  day.  Apprehending  insult 
from  the  mob,  if  the  time  and  manner  of  his  setting  out  were  i^ub- 
lic,  he  escaped  early  in  the  morning  through  the  kitchens  out  at  the 
back  door,  got  into  a  shabby,  hired  carriage,  with  his  confessor  and 
me,  and  reached  in  safety  the  road  leading  to  Loeches,  a  village  on 
his  own  estate,  where  his  countess  had  founded  a  magnificent  con- 
vent of  Dominican  nuns. 


CHAPTEE    X. 


a  difficult  bttt  stjccessfxtl  weaning  fkom  the  world.    thb 
minister's  employments  in  his  retreat. 

MADAME  D'OLIVAEEZ  staid  behind  her  husband  some 
few  days,  with  the  intention  of  trying  what  her  tears  and 
entreaties  might  do  towards  his  recall ;  but  in  vain  did  she  pros- 
trate herself  before  their  majesties;  the  king  paid  not  the  least 
attention  to  her  pleadings  and  remonstrances,  though  artfully 
adapted  for  effect,  and  the  queen,  who  hated  her  mortally,  took  a 
savage  pleasure  in  her  tears.  The  minister's  lady,  however,  was  not 
easily  discouraged ;  she  stooped  so  low  as  to  solicit  their  good  offices 
from  the  ladies  of  the  bed-chamber  ;  but  the  fruit  of  all  this  mean- 
ness was  only  the  sad  conviction  that  it  excited  more  contempt  than 
pity.  Heart-broken  at  having  degraded  herself  by  supplications  so 
humiliating  and  yet  so  unavailing,  she  departed  to  her  husband, 
and  mourned  with  him  the  loss  of  a  situation  which,  under  a  reign 
like  that  of  Philip  the  Fourth,  was  little  short  of  sovereign  power. 

The  accounts  her  ladyship  brought  from  Madrid  were  wormwood 
to  the  duke.  "  Your  enemies,"  said  she,  sobbing,  "  with  the  Duke  of 
Medina  Cell  at  their  head,  are  loud  in  the  king's  praises  for  your 
removal,  and  the  people  triumph  in  your  disgrace  with  an  insolent 
joy,  as  if  the  cloud  of  adversity  were  to  be  dispelled  by  the  breath 
which  dissolved  your  administration."  "  Madam,"  said  my  master, 
"  follow  my  example  ;  suppress  your  discontent ;  we  must  drive 
before  the  storm  when  we  cannot  weather  it.  I  did  think,  indeed, 
that  my  favor  would  only  be  eclipsed  with  the  lamp  of  life — a  com- 
mon  illusion  of  ministers  and    favorites,  who  forget  that  they 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  661 

breathe  but  at  the  good  pleasure  of  their  sovereign.  Was  not  the 
Duke  of  Lerma  as  much  mistaken  as  myself,  though  fondly  relying 
on  his  purple  as  a  pledge  for  the  lasting  tenure  of  his  authority  ?" 

Thus  did  my  lord  duke  preach  patience  to  the  partner  of  his 
cares,  while  his  own  bosom  heaved  under  the  direct  pressure  of 
anxiety.  The  frequent  despatches  from  Don  Henry,  who  was  stay- 
ing about  the  court  to  pick  up  information,  kept  him  continually  on 
the  fret.  Scipio  was  the  messenger,  for  he  was  still  about  the  per- 
son of  that  young  nobleman,  though  I  had  relinquished  my  post  on 
his  marriage.  Sometimes  we  heard  of  changes  in  the  inferior  de- 
partments of  office,  solely  for  the  purpose  of  wreaking  vengeance  on 
his  creatures,  and  filling  up  the  vacancies  with  his  enemies.  Then 
Don  Lewis  de  Haro  was  represented  as  advancing  in  favor,  and 
likely  to  be  made  prime  minister.  But  the  most  mortifying  circum- 
stance of  all  was  the  change  in  the  viceroyalty  of  Naples,  which  was 
taken  from  his  friend  the  Duke  de  Medina  de  las  Torres,  and  be- 
stowed on  the  High  Admiral  of  Castille,  who  was  his  bitterest 
enemy.  For  this  there  was  no  other  motive  than  the  pleasure  of 
giving  pain  to  a  fallen  favorite. 

For  the  first  three  months,  his  lordship  gave  himself  up  in  his 
solitude  a  prey  to  disappointment  and  regret;  but  his  confessor,  a 
holy  and  pious  Dominican,  supporting  his  religious  zeal  with  manly 
eloquence,  succeeded  in  pouring  the  balm  of  consolation  into  his 
soul.  By  continually  representing  to  him,  with  apostolic  energy, 
that  his  eternal  salvation  was  now  the  only  object  worth  his  care, 
he  weaned  him  gradually  from  the  uses  of  this  world.  His  excel- 
lency was  no  longer  panting  for  news  from  Madrid,  but  learning  a 
new  and  important  lesson,  how  to  die.  Madame  d'Olivarez,  too, 
making  a  virtue  of  necessity,  sought  refuge  for  herself  in  the  mater- 
nal guardianship  of  her  convent,  where  Providence  had  reared  up, 
for  her  edification  in  foith  and  good  works,  a  sisterhood  of  holy 
maidens,  whose  spiritual  discourses  fed  her  soul,  as  if  with  manna 
in  the  wilderness.  My  master's  peace  within  his  own  bosom  ad- 
vanced as  he  gradually  withdrew  from  sublunary  things.  The  em- 
ployment of  his  day  was  thus  laid  out  almost  the  whole  morning 
was  devoted  to  religious  duties  till  dinner-time,  and  after  dinner, 
for  about  two  hours,  he  played  at  different  games  with  me  and  some 
of  his  confidential  domestics ;  he  then  generally  retired  alone  into 
his  closet  till  sunset,  when  he  walked  round  his  garden,  or  rode  out 
into  the  neighborhood  either  with  his  confessor  or  me. 

One  day  when  I  was  alone  with  him,  and  was  particularly  struck 
with  his  apparent  self-complacency,  I  took  the  liberty  of  congratu- 
lating his  lordship  on  his  complete  reconciliation  to  retirement. 
"  Use,  however  late  acquired,  is  second  nature,"  answered  he ;  "  for 


662  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

though  I  have  all  my  life  been  accustomed  to  the  bustle  of  business, 
I  assure  you  that  I  become  every  day  more  and  more  attached  to 
this  calm  and  peaceful  mode  of  life." 


CHAPTEE  XI. 


A  CHANGE  IN  HIS  LORDSHIP  FOE  THE  WOBSE.    THE  MARVELLOUS  CAtTSB 
AND  MELANCHOLY  CONSEQUENCES  OF  HIS  DEJECTION. 

HIS  excellency  sometimes  amused  himself  with  gardening,  by 
way  of  variety.  One  day,  as  I  was  watching  his  progress,  he 
said,  jokingly,  "You  see,  Santillane,  a  fallen  minister  can  turn 
gardener  at  last."  "Nature  will  prevail,  my  lord,"  answered  I. 
"  You  plant  and  water  something  useful  at  Loeches,  while  Diony- 
sius  of  Syracuse  whipped  school-boys  at  Corinth  "  My  master  was 
not  displeased  either  with  the  comparison  or  the  compliment. 

We  were  all  delighted  at  the  castle  to  see  our  protector,  rising 
above  the  cloud  of  adversity,  take  pleasure  in  so  novel  a  mode  of 
life;  but  we  soon  perceived  an  alarming  change  He  became 
gloomy,  thoughtful,  and  melancholy.  Our  parties  at  play  were  all 
given  up,  and  no  efforts  could  succeed  to  divert  his  mind.  From 
dinner-time  till  evening  he  never  left  Jiis  closet.  We  thought  the 
dreams  of  vanished  greatness  had  returned  to  break  his  rest ;  and 
in  this  opinion  the  reverend  Dominican  gave  the  rein  to  his  elo- 
quence ;  but  it  could  not  outstrip  the  course  of  that  hypochondriac 
malady,  which  triumphed  over  all  opposition 

It  seemed  to  me  there  was  some  deeper  cause,  which  it  behooved 
a  sincere  friend  to  fathom.  Taking  advantage  of  our  being  alone 
together,  "  My  lord,"  said  I,  in  a  tone  of  mingled  respect  and  affec- 
tion, "  whence  is  it  that  you  are  no  longer  so  cheerful  as  heretofore  ? 
Has  your  philosophy  lost  ground  ?  or  has  the  world  recovered  its 
allurements?  Surely  you  would  not  plunge  again  into  that  gulf 
where  your  virtue  must  inevitably  be  shipwrecked  I"  "  No,  Heaven 
be  praised  !"  replied  the  minister;  "my  part  at  court  has  long  faded 
from  my  memory,  and  its  trappings  from  my  eyes."  "Indeed  !  why, 
then,"  resumed  I,  "  since  you  have  strength  enough  to  banish  false 
regrets,  are  you  so  weak  as  to  indulge  a  melancholy  which  alarms 
us  all?  What  is  the  matter  with  you,  my  dear  master?"  continued 
I,  falling  at  his  knees ;  "  some  secret  sorrow  preys  upon  you ;  can 
you  hide  it  from  Santillane,  whose  zeal,  discretion,  and  fidelity  you 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BIAS.  663 

have  80  often  experienced  ?  Why  am  I  so  unhappy  as  to  have  lost 
your  confidence  ?" 

"  You  still  possess  it,"  said  his  lordship ;  "  but  I  must  own,  it  is 
reluctantly  that  I  shall  reveal  the  subject  of  my  distress ;  yet  the 
importunities  of  such  a  friend  are  irresistible.  To  no  one  else  could 
I  impart  so  singular  a  confidence.  Yes,  I  am  the  prey  of  a  morbid 
melancholy  which  eats  inwardly  into  my  vitals :  a  spectre  haunts 
me  every  moment,  arrayed  in  the  most  terrific  form  of  preternatural 
horror.  In  vain  have  I  argued  with  myself  that  it  is  a  vision  of 
the  brain,  an  unreal  mockery :  its  continual  presentments  blast  my 
sight,  and  unseat  my  reason.  Though  my  understanding  teaches 
me  that  in  looking  on  this  spectre  I  stare  at  vacancy,  my  spirits  are 
too  weak  to  derive  comfort  from  the  conviction.  Thus  much  have 
you  extorted  from  me ,  now  judge  whether  the  cause  of  my  melan- 
choly is  fit  to  be  divulged." 

With  equal  grief  and  astonishment  did  I  listen  to  the  strange 
confession,  which  implied  a  total  derangement  of  the  nervous  sys- 
tem. "  This,  my  lord,"  said  I,  "  must  proceed  from  injudicious  absti- 
nence," "So  I  thought  at  first,"  answered  he;  "and  to  try  the 
experiment,  I  have  been  eating  more  than  usual  for  some  days  past ; 
but  it  is  all  to  no  purpose ,  the  phantom  takes  his  stand  as  usual." 
*'  It  will  vanish,"  said  I,  "  if  your  excellency  will  only  divert  your 
mind  by  your  accustomed  relaxations  with  your  household.  Com- 
pany and  gentle  occupation  are  the  best  remedies  for  these  afiections 
of  the  spirits  " 

In  a  short  time  after  this  conversation,  his  lordship  became 
seriously  indisposed,  and  sent  for  two  notaries  from  Madrid  to  make 
his  will.  Three  capital  physicians  followed  in  their  track,  who  had 
the  reputation  of  curing  their  patients  now  and  then.  As  soon  as  it 
was  noised  about  the  castle  that  these  last  undertakers  were  arrived, 
the  case  was  given  up  for  lost ;  weeping  and  gnashing  of  teeth  took 
place  universally,  and  the  family  mourning  was  ordered.  They 
brought  with  them  their  usual  understrappers,  an  apothecary  and 
a  surgeon. 

Behind  him  sneaks 
Another  mortal,  not  unlike  himself, 
Of  jargon  full,  with  terms  obscure  o'ercharged, 
Apothecary  called,  whose  fetid  hands 
With  power  mechanic,  and  with  charms  arcane, 
Apollo,  god  of  medicine,  has  endued. 

Bramston. 

The  notaries  were  suffered  to  earn  their  fee  first,  after  which, 
death's  notaries  prepared  to  take  a  bond  of  the  patient.  They 
practiced  in  the  school  of  Sangrado,  and  from  their  very  first  con- 
sultation, ordered  bleeding  so  frequently  and  freely  that  in  six  days 


664  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

they  brought  his  lordship  to  the  point  of  death,  and  on  the  seventh 
delivered  him  from  the  terror  of  his  sprite. 

After  the  minister's  decease,  a  lively  and  sincere  sorrow  reigned 
in  the  castle  of  Loeches.  The  whole  household  wept  bitterly.  Far 
from  deriving  consolation  from  the  certainty  of  being  remembered 
in  his  will,  there  was  not  a  dependent  who  would  not  willingly 
have  saved  his  life  by  the  sacrifice  of  the  legacy.  As  for  me,  whom 
he  most  delighted  in,  attached  to  him  as  I  was  from  disinterested 
friendship,  my  grief  was  more  acute  than  that  of  the  rest.  I  ques- 
tion whether  Antonia  cost  me  more  tears. 


CHAPTER  XII. 


PROCEEDINGS  AT  THE  CASTLE  OF  LOECHES  AFTEK  HIS  LOEDSHIP'S  DEATH. 
THE   COURSE  WHICH  SANTILLANE  ADOPTED. 

THE  minister,  according  to  his  last  injunctions,  was  buried 
without  pomp  and  without  procession  in  the  convent,  with  a 
dirge  of  our  lamentations.  After  the  funeral,  Madame  d'Olivarez 
called  us  together  to  hear  the  will  read,  with  which  the  household 
had  good  reason  to  be  satisfied.  Every  one  had  a  legacy  propor- 
tioned to  his  claim,  and  none  less  than  two  thousand  crowns  •. 
mine  was  the  largest,  amounting  to  ten  thousand  pistoles,  as  a 
mark  of  his  singular  regard,  The  hospitals  were  not  forgotten, 
and  provision  was  made  for  annual  commemoration  in  several 
convents. 

Madame  d'Olivarez  sent  all  tlie  household  to  Madrid  to  receive 
their  legacies  from  Don  Raymond  Caporis,  who  had  orders  to  pay 
them  •  but  I  could  not  be  of  the  party,  in  consequence  of  a  violent 
fever  from  distress  of  mind,  which  confined  me  to  the  castle  for 
more  than  a  week.  Uuring  that  time,  the  reverend  Dominican  paid 
me  all  possible  attention.  He  had  conceived  a  friendship  for  me, 
which  was  not  confined  to  my  worldly  interests,  and  was  anxious  to 
know  how  I  meant  to  dispose  of  myself  on  my  recovery.  I  answered 
that  I  had  not  yet  made  up  my  mind  upon  the  subject:  there  were 
moments  when  my  feelings  strongly  prompted  towards  a  religious 
vow.  "Precious  moments!"  exclaimed  the  Dominican;  "you  will 
do  well  to  profit  by  them.  I  advise  you  as  a  friend  to  retire  to  our 
convent  at  Madrid,  for  example,  there  to  become  a  pious  benefactor 
by  the  free  gift  of  your  whole  fortune,  and  to  die  in  the  livery  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  665 

St.  Dominic.  Many  very  questionable  Christians  have  made  amends 
for  a  life  of  sin  by  so  holy  an  end." 

In  the  actual  disposition  of  my  mind,  this  advice  was  not  un- 
palatable ;  and  I  promised  to  reflect  upon  it.  But  on  consulting 
Scipio,  who  came  to  see  me  immediately  after  the  monk,  he  treated 
the  very  notion  as  the  phantom  of  a  distempered  brain.  "For 
shame  I"  said  he;  "does  not  your  estate  at  Lirias  offer  a  more 
eligible  seclusion?  If  you  were  delighted  with  it  formerly,  the 
charm  will  be  increased  tenfold,  now  that  the  lapse  of  years  has 
moderated  your  sense  of  pleasure,  and  softened  down  your  taste  to 
the  simple  beauties  of  nature." 

It  was  no  difficult  matter  to  operate  a  change  in  my  inclinations. 
"  My  friend,"  said  I,  "  you  carry  it  decidedly  against  the  advocate 
of  St.  Dominic.  We  will  go  back  to  Lirias  as  soon  as  I  am  well  enough 
to  travel."  This  happened  shortly  ;  for  as  the  fever  subsided,  I  soon 
felt  myself  sufficiently  strong  to  put  my  design  in  execution.  We 
went  first  to  Madrid.  The  sight  of  that  city  gave  me  far  other  sen- 
satione  than  heretofore.  As  I  knew  that  almost  its  whole  population 
held  in  horror  the  memory  of  a  minister  of  whom  I  cherished  the 
most  affectionate  remembrance,  I  could  not  feel  at  my  ease  within 
its  precincts.  My  stay  was  therefore  limited  to  five  or  six  days, 
while  Scipio  was  making  the  necessary  arrangements  for  our  rusti- 
cation. In  the  meantime,  I  waited  on  Caporis,  and  received  my 
legacy  in  ready  money.  I  likewise  made  my  arrangements  with 
the  receivers  for  the  regular  remittance  of  my  pensions,  and  settled 
all  my  affairs  in  due  order. 

The  evening  before  our  departure,  I  asked  the  son  of  Cosclina 
whether  he  had  received  his  farewell  from  Don  Henry.  "  Yes," 
answered  he,  "we  took  leave  of  each  other  this  morning  with 
mutual  civility  :  he  went  so  far  as  to  express  his  regret  that  I  should 
quit  him  ;  but  however  well  satisfied  he  might  be  with  me,  I  am  by 
no  means  so  with  him.  Mutual  content  is  like  a  river,  which  must 
have  its  banks  on  either  side.  Besides,  Don  Henry  makes  but  a 
pitiful  figure  at  court  now;  he  has  fallen  into  utter  contempt; 
people  point  at  him  with  their  finger  in  the  streets,  and  call  him  a 
Genoese  bastard.  Judge,  then,  for  yourself,  whether  it  is  consistent 
with  my  character  to  keep  up  the  connection." 

We  left  Madrid  one  morning  at  sunrise,  and  went  for  Cuen<}a. 
The  following  was  the  order  of  our  equipment :  we  two  in  a  chaise 
and  pair,  three  mules,  laden  with  baggage  and  money,  led  by  two 
grooms  and  two  stout  footmen,  well  armed,  in  the  rear ;  the  grooms 
wore  sabres,  and  the  postilion  had  a  pair  of  pistols  in  his  holsters. 
As  we  were  seven  men  in  all,  and  six  of  us  determined  fellows,  I  took 
the  road  gayly,  without  trembling  for  my  legacy.     In  the  villages 


666  ADVENTVRES  OF  GIL  BIAS. 

through  which  we  passed,  our  mules  chimed  their  bells  merrily,  and 
the  peasants  ran  to  their  doors  to  see  us  pass,  supposing  it  to  be  at 
least  the  parade  of  some  nobleman  going  to  take  possession  of  some 
viceroyalty. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THB  KETTJBN  OF    GIL  BLAS    TO    HIS    SEAT.      HIS   JOY   AT    FINDING    HIS 
GODDAUGHTEE   8ERAPHINA  MARRIAGEABLE. 

WE  were  a  fortnight  on  our  journey  to.Lirias,  having  no  occa- 
sion to  make  rapid  stages.  The  sight  of  my  own  domain 
brought  melancholy  thoughts  into  my  mind,  with  the  image  of  my 
lost  Antonia ;  but  better  topics  of  reflection  came  to  my  aid,  with  a 
full  purpose  to  look  at  things  on  the  brighter  side,  and  the  lapse  of 
two-and-twenty  years,  which  had  gradually  impaired  the  force  of 
tender  regret. 

As  soon  as  I  entered  the  castle,  Beatrice  and  her  daughter  greeted 
me  most  cordially,  while  the  family  scene  was  interesting  in  the 
extreme.  When  their  mutual  transports  were  over,  I  looked  earn- 
estly at  my  goddaughter,  saying,  "  Can  this  be  the  Seraphina  whom 
I  left  in  her  cradle  ?  How  tall  and  pretty  !  We  must  make  a  good 
match  for  her."  "  What  I  my  dear  godfather,"  cried  my  little  girl, 
with  an  enchanting  blush,  "  you  have  but  just  seen  me,  and  do  you 
want  to  get  rid  of  me  at  once  ?"  "  No,  my  lovely  child,"  replied  I, 
"  we  hope  not  to  lose  you  by  marriage,  but  to  find  a  husband  for  you 
in  the  neighborhood." 

"  There  is  one  ready  to  your  hands,"  said  Beatrice.  "  Seraphina 
made  a  conquest  one  day  at  mass.  Her  suitor  has  declared  his  pas- 
sion, and  asked  my  consent.  I  told  him  that  his  acceptance  de- 
pended on  her  father  and  her  godfather ;  and  here  you  are  to  deter- 
mine for  yourselves." 

"  What  is  the  character  of  this  village  lordling  ?"  said  Scipio.  "  Is 
he  not,  like  his  fellows,  the  little  tyrant  of  the  soil,  and  insolent  to 
those  who  have  no  pedigree  to  boast  ?"  "  The  furthest  from  it  in 
the  world,"  answered  Beatrice;  "the  young  man  is  gentle  in  his 
temper  and  polished  in  his  manners;  handsome  withal,  and  some- 
what under  thirty."  "You  paint  him  in  flattering  colors,"  said  I 
to  Beatrice ;  "  what  is  his  name  ?"  "  Don  Juan  de  Jutella,"  replied 
Scipio's  wife ;  "  it  is  not  long  since  he  came  to  his  inheritance ;  he 
lives  on  his  own  estate,  about  a  mile  off,  with  a  younger  sister,  of 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  667 

whom  he  takes  care."  "  I  once  knew  something  of  his  family," 
observed  I ;  "it  is  one  of  the  best  in  Valencia."  "  I  care  less  for 
lineage,"  cried  Scipio,  "  than  for  the  qualities  of  the  heart  and 
mind ;  this  Don  Juan  will  exactly  suit  us,  if  he  is  a  good  sort  of 
man."  "  He  is  belied  else,"  said  Seraphina,  with  a  blushing  interest 
in  our  conversation ;  "  the  inhabitants  of  Lirias,  who  know  him 
well,  say  all  the  good  of  him  you  can  conceive."  I  smiled  at  this  ; 
and  her  father,  not  less  quick-sighted,  saw  plainly  that  her  heart 
had  a  share  in  the  testimony  of  her  tongue. 

The  gentleman  soon  heard  of  our  arrival,  and  paid  his  respects  to 
us  within  two  days.  His  address  was  pleasing  and  manly,  so  as  to 
prepossess  us  in  his  favor.  He  affected  merely  to  welcome  us  home 
as  a  neighbor.  Our  reception  was  such  as  not  to  discourage  the 
repetition  of  his  visit;  but  not  a  word  of  Seraphina!  When  he 
was  gone,  Beatrice  asked  us  how  we  liked  him.  We  could  have  no 
objection  to  make,  and  gave  it  as  our  opinion  that  Seraphina  could 
not  dispose  of  herself  better. 

The  next  day,  Scipio  and  I  returned  the  visit.  We  took  a  guide, 
and  luckily ;  for  otherwise  it  might  have  puzzled  us  to  find  the 
place.  It  was  not  till  our  actual  arrival  that  it  was  visible ;  for  the 
mansion  was  situated  at  the  foot  of  a  mountain,  in  the  middle  of  a 
wood,  whose  lofty  trees  hid  it  from  our  view.  There  was  an  antique 
and  ruinous  appearance  about  it,  which  spoke  more  for  the  descent 
than  the  wealth  of  its  proprietor.  On  our  entrance,  however,  the 
elegance  of  the  interior  arrangement  made  amends  for  the  dilapi- 
dated grandeur  of  the  outer  walls. 

Don  Juan  received  us  in  a  handsome  room,  where  he  introduced 
his  sister  Dorothea,  a  lady  between  nineteen  and  twenty  years  of 
age.  She  was  a  good  deal  tricked  out,  as  if  she  had  primed  and 
loaded  herself  for  conquest,  in  expectation  of  our  visit.  Thus  pre- 
senting all  her  charms  in  full  force,  she  did  by  me  much  as  Antonia 
had  done  before ;  but  I  managed  my  raptures  so  discreetly  that  even 
Scipio  had  no  suspicion.  Our  conversation  turned,  as  on  the  pre- 
ceding day,  on  the  mutual  pleasure  of  good  neighborhood.  Still  he 
did  not  open  on  the  subject  of  Seraphina,  nor  did  we  attempt  to 
draw  hira  out.  During  our  interview,  I  often  cast  a  side  glance  at 
Dorothea,  though  with  all  the  reserve  of  delicate  apprehension; 
whenever  our  eyes  met,  the  citadel  of  my  heart  was  ready  to  sur- 
render. To  describe  the  object  of  my  love  justly,  as  well  as  feel- 
ingly, her  beauty  was  not  of  the  most  perfect  kind ;  her  skin  was 
of  a  dazzling  whiteness,  and  her  lips  united  the  color  with  the 
fragrance  of  the  rose;  but  her  features  were  not  so  regular  and  well 
proportioned  as  might  have  been  wished ;  yet,  altogether,  she  won 
my  heart. 


668  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS^ 

In  short,  I  left  the  mansion  of  Jutella  a  different  man  from  what 
I  was  on  entering  it ;  so  that,  returning  to  Lirias  with  my  whole 
soul  absorbed  in  Dorothea,  I  saw  and  spoke  only  of  her.  "  How  is 
this,  master?"  said  Scipio  with  a  look  of  astonishment;  "you  seem 
to  be  very  much  taken  with  Don  Juan's  sister  1  Can  you  be  in  love 
with  her?"  "Yes,  my  friend,"  answered  I;  "to  my  shame  be  it 
spoken.  Since  the  death  of  Antonia,  how  many  lovely  females 
have  passed  in  review  before  me  with  indifference !  and  must  my 
passions  be  irresistibly  kindled  at  this  time  of  life?"  "Indeed, 
sir,"  replied  the  son  of  Cosclina,  "  you  may  bless  your  stars,  instead 
of  squabbling  with  yourself:  you  are  not  so  old  as  to  make  your 
sacrifice  at  the  shrine  of  love  a  by-word ;  and  time  has  not  yet 
ploughed  such  furrows  on  your  brow  as  to  render  hopeless  the  desire 
of  pleasing.  When  you  see  Don  Juan  next,  ask  him  boldly  for  his 
sister :  he  cannot  refuse  her  to  you ;  and  besides,  if  his  views  in 
her  settlement  are  ambitious,  how  can  he  do  better?  You  have  a 
patent  of  nobility  in  your  pocket,  and  upon  that  your  posterity  may 
ride  easy  ;  after  five  generations,  when  pedigree  herself  shall  be  lost 
in  the  confusion  of  her  materials,  it  may  exercise  the  diligence  of 
learned  inquiry  to  trace  the  family  of  the  Santillanes  to  the  begin- 
ning of  its  archives,  and  consecrate  the  fame  of  ita  founder  by  the 
indistinctness  of  his  story." 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

A  DOUBLE  MARRIAGE.     CONCLUSION  OF  THE  HISTORY. 

BY  this  discourse,  Scipio  encouraged  me  to  declare  myself,  with- 
out considering  how  he  exposed  me  to  the  danger  of  a  refusal. 
My  own  resolution  was  taken  with  fear  and  trembling.  Though  I 
carried  my  years  well,  and  might  have  sunk  at  least  ten,  it  did  not 
seem  unlikely  that  a  young  beauty  might  turn  up  her  nose  at  the 
disparity.  I  determined,  however,  to  bolt  the  question  the  first  time 
I  saw  her  brothei,  who  was  not  without  his  trepidations  on  the  sub- 
ject of  my  goddaughter. 

He  returned  my  call  the  next  morning,  just  as  I  had  done  dress- 
ing. "  Signor  de  Santillane,"  said  he,  "  I  wish  to  speak  with  you  on 
some  serious  business."  I  took  him  into  my  closet,  where  entering 
on  the  subject  at  once,  "I  imagine,"  continued  he,  "that  you  are 
not  unacquainted  with  the  purpose  of  my  visit.    I  love  Seraphina ; 


ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS.  669 

you  are  all  in  all  with  her  father ;  I  must  request  you,  therefore,  to 
intercede  and  procure  for  me  the  accomplishment  of  my  heart's  de- 
sire ;  then  shall  I  have  to  thank  you  for  the  prime  bliss  of  my  ex- 
istence." "  Signer  Don  Juan,"  answered  I,  "  as  you  come  to  the 
point  at  once,  you  can  have  no  objection  to  my  following  your  ex- 
ample; My  good  offices  are  fully  at  your  service,  and  I  shall  hope 
for  yours  with  your  sister  in  return." 

Don  Juan  was  agreeably  surprised.  "Can  it  be  possible,"  ex- 
claimed he,  "  that  Dorothea  should  have  made  a  conquest  of  your 
heart  since  yesterday?"  "  It  is  even  so,"  said  I,  "  and  it  would  make 
me  the  happiest  of  men  if  the  proposal  should  meet  with  your  joint 
approbation."  "  You  may  rely  on  that,"  replied  he ;  "  though  with 
some  pretensions  to  family  pride,  yours  is  not  an  alliance  to  be  de- 
spised." "  You  flatter  me  highly,"  rejoined  I ;  "  that  you  are  not 
mealy-mouthed  about  receiving  a  commoner  into  your  pedigree  is  a 
mark  of  good  sense  ;  but  even  if  nobility  had  been  a  necessary  in- 
gredient in  your  sister's  requisites  for  a  husband,  we  should  not  have 
quarrelled  on  that  account.  I  have  worked  out  twenty  years  in  the 
trammels  of  office ;  and  the  king,  as  a  reward  of  my  long  labors,  has 
granted  me  a  patent  of  nobility."  This  high-minded  gentleman  read 
my  credentials  over  with  extreme  satisfaction,  and  returning  them, 
told  me  that  Dorothea  was  mine.  "  And  Seraphina  yours,"  ex- 
claimed I. 

Thus  were  the  two  marriages  agreed  on  between  us.  The  consent 
of  the  intended  brides  was  all  that  remained  :  for  we  neither  of  us 
presumed  to  control  the  inclinations  of  our  wards.  My  friend  there- 
fore carried  home  my  proposal  to  his  sister,  and  I  called  Scipio, 
Beatrice,  and  my  goddaughter  together,  for  the  purpose  of  laying 
open  a  similar  project.  Beatrice  voted  loudly  for  immediate  accept- 
ance, and  Seraphina  silently.  The  father  did  not  say  much  against 
it,  but  boggled  a  little  at  the  fortune  he  must  give  to  a  gentleman 
whose  seat  required  such  immediate  and  extensive  repairs.  I  stopped 
Scipio's  mouth  by  telling  him  that  was  my  concern,  and  that  I 
should  contribute  four  thousand  pistoles  to  the  architect's  estimate. 

In  the  evening,  Don  Juan  came  again.  "Your  business  is  going 
swimmingly,"  said  I ;  "  pray  Heaven  mine  may  promise  as  fairly." 
"  Better  it  cannot,"  answered  he  ;  "  my  influence  was  quite  unneces- 
sary to  prevail  with  Dorothea ;  your  person  had  made  its  impression, 
and  your  manners  pleased  her.  You  were  afraid  she  might  not  like 
you  ;  while  she,  with  more  reason,  having  nothing  to  offer  you  but 
her  heart  and  hand."  .  .  .  "What  would  she  offer  more?"  inter- 
rupted I,  out  of  my  wits  with  joy.  "  Since  the  lovely  Dorothea  can 
think  of  me  without  repugnance,  I  ask  no  more:  my  fortune  is 
ample,  and  the  possession  of  her  is  the  only  dowry  I  should  value." 


670  ADVENTURES  OF  GIL  BLAS. 

Don  Juan  and  myself,  highly  delighted  at  having  brought  our 
views  to  bear  so  soon,  were  tor  hastening  our  nuptials,  and  cutting 
ofF  all  superfluous  ceremonies.  I  closeted  the  gentleman  with  Sera- 
phina's  parents  ;  the  settlements  were  soon  agreed  on,  and  he  took 
his  leave,  promising  to  return  next  day  with  Dorothea.  My  eager 
desire  of  appearing  agreeable  in  that  lady's  eyes  occasioned  me  to 
spend  three  hours  at  least  in  adjusting  my  dress,  and  communicating 
the  air  of  a  lover  to  my  person  ;  but  I  could  not  do  it  so  much  to  my 
mind  as  in  my  younger  days.  The  preparations  for  courtship  are  a 
pleasure  to  a  young  man,  but  a  serious  business  and  hazardous 
speculation  to  one  who  is  beginning  to  be  oldish.  And  yet  it  turned 
out  better  than  my  hopes  or  deserts ;  for  Don  Juan's  sister  received 
me  so  graciously  as  to  put  me  in  good  humor  with  myself.  I  was 
charmed  with  the  turn  of  her  mind,  and  foreboded  that,  with  dis- 
creet management  and  much  deference,  I  might  really  get  her  to  like 
me  as  well  as  anybody  else.  Full  of  this  sweet  hope,  I  sent  for  the 
lawyers  to  draw  up  the  two  contracts,  and  for  the  clergyman  of 
Paterna  to  bring  us  better  acquainted  with  our  mistresses. 

Thus  did  I  light  the  torch  of  Hymen  for  the  second  time,  and  it 
did  not  burn  blue  with  the  brimstone  of  repentance.  Dorothea,  like 
a  virtuous  wife,  made  a  pleasure  of  her  duty ;  in  gratitude  for  the 
pains  I  took  to  anticipate  all  her  wishes,  she  soon  loved  me  as  well 
as  if  I  had  been  younger.  Don  Juan  and  my  goddaughter  were  most 
enthusiastic  in  their  mutual  ardor ;  and  what  was  most  unprece- 
dented of  all,  the  two  sisters-in-law  loved  one  another  sincerely.  Don 
Juan  was  a  man  in  whom  all  good  qualities  met;  my  esteem  for  him 
increased  daily,  and  he  did  not  repay  it  with  ingratitude.  In  short, 
we  were  a  happy  and  united  family :  we  could  scarcely  bear  the  in- 
terval of  separation  between  evening  and  morning.  Our  time  was 
divided  between  Lirias  and  Jutella.  His  excellency's  pistoles  made 
the  old  battlements  to  raise  their  heads  again,  and  the  castle  to  re- 
sume its  lordly  port. 

For  these  three  years,  reader,  I  have  led  a  life  of  unmixed  bliss 
in  this  beloved  society.  To  perfect  my  satisfaction.  Heaven  has 
deigned  to  send  me  two  smiling  babes,  whose  education  will  be  the 
amusement  of  my  declining  years ;  and  if  ever  husband  might  ven- 
ture to  hazard  so  bold  an  hypothesis,  I  devoutly  believe  myself  their 
fathsr. 


^  //  n 


j^ ,'/  ,n  Ji, 


